Black Men Are A ‘Distinct Minority’ at HBCUs

by Britni Danielle

One look at the make-up of any university campus and you’ll notice one thing: black men are scarce.  Although this is almost to be expected at predominately white institutions, apparently black men are equally hard to come by at our nation’s HBCUs.

According to the Department of Education’s National Center for Education Statistics, black women outnumber black men 3-to-2 at HBCUs. Moreover, at the 100 accredited black colleges and universities, 61.5% of the attendees are women.

So what’s behind the disparity? Experts say that black men have very few role models that inspire them to pursue education, face tougher financial odds, and are less prepared for college than their female counterparts. In addition, once they make it to college it takes black men longer to graduate from college and many drop out. Only 29% of black men graduate from HBCUs in six years as opposed to 33% at all colleges and universities (57% of people graduate within six years nationally).

Many schools and organizations are working to close the gender gap in higher education. Through outreach groups that target young black boys offering tutoring and mentorship, to companies and universities that offer funding to black male students going to college, many are hoping to inspire more young black men to pursue higher education.

While black women and girls face their own sets of difficulties, the odds facing black males are steadily growing, which is leaving a generation of young black men behind.

 

*Via the Atlanta Journal Constitution and Mused.

 

  • TheBestAnonEver, Part 2

    Color me confused. What unique financial difficulties do black men face that black women do not face? What is with the role model excuse? There were more black men in college before women were even allowed to apply to some colleges. If that didn’t stop black women for applying, why is it a problem for black men? Whose fault is it that black men are less prepared? If black men and women are, for the most part, attending the same schools, what is preventing black men from being just as prepared?

    I hate articles like this that keep using these same pat excuses. Can someone offer an explanation that isn’t this sociological jibber-jabber for why black men are finding it difficult to go to and stay in college? None of the excuses that they have come up with for black men are unique to them. They impact black women so why are the men having such a hard time? Without clear answers how would those concerned find a solution?

    Sidenote to the nothing-but-a-brotha women: if you want a man at your educational level, the time for blind loyalty to black men is up. Recognize the glory in yourself and be open to love regardless of race or ethnicity.

  • Reality Check

    men are a minority on college campuses period. this is nothing new

  • secretaddy

    Umm so men are not the minority on all campuses , they are the majority at many. Yet even when men are the minority, the disparity between men and women is very slim ! I don’t like dismissing Black men’s lack of access to higher ed as excuses.

    We need to STOP it ! Listen and take note when any group of ppl are suffering and stop ur asshat assumptions about their incompetence. Also socialization matters !!! The fact that Black men are more likely to commit suicide, homicide and be incarcerated matters fuckin’ matters ! WE need to support our brothers.

    Anyway, I think that there needs to be institutional places for Black men to feel comfortable. At my undergrad, Ohio State University, there is a Bell Resource Center for the African American Male and it helps ALOT !! The retention rates for Black men has increased since its implementation. They offer counseling, mentoring , tutoring and “cultural adjustments” !

    I am a HUGE feminist ! And as a feminist I oppose suffering ! I love Black men and I think we need to fight alongside them for better access

  • Priceless34

    The real issue is that “education” in our communities, especially, with our black men is something that is riduculed and frowned upon. When you takes aways those who are killed by 18 and those who actually graduate highschool…well you get it. Black men need to learn how to value education instead quick money schemes.

  • Afrostyling

    Oh color me i dont give a fuck. What role models do black girls have? Why the hell do you need a role model before you decide to do something with your life? Continue coddling and landholding these men who dont have the gumption to do better for themselves!

  • QONewcastle

    There is a war on male children in the educational system. Lets not talk about black men in university when we cant even get them through high school after having placed them in special education classes doped up on psycho-tropic drugs for their teen years. University is not a quick fix for any community. We need vocational courses and trade schools and jobs for these young men. Besides an education at an over priced HBCU is not worth the money.

  • QONewcastle

    @The Best Anon

    Interesting you can fix your mouth to talk about the socalled “nothing-but-a-broth” black women but never once talk about nothing but the “nothing but a white woman” white men or “nothing but a Hispanic woman” hispanic men or “nothing but an Asian woman” Asian man or “nothing but a Arab woman” Arab men or “nothing but a Indian woman” Indian man and so on and so forth. I mean dam, aint they the other half of the equation?

  • The Black Police

    Wait, don’t most (if not all) universities/colleges have more women than men?

    This seems like a non-issue but I love how black women liked to back statistics that make them look better than others.

    http://www.prb.org/Articles/2011/gender-gap-in-education.aspx

  • Ms. Information

    Black Police, you are a loser who just comes around to disagree and start arguments with black women..go get some counseling.

  • QONewcastle

    @The Black Police

    Since there arent enough men in university for the women at university, what do you think will happen to those women who want a man with a university education but cant find one?

  • The Black Police

    That’s unfortunate.

    My point is: there’s no cause for alarm.

    I’m sure men outnumber women when it comes to the trades and entrepreneurship. These men can be eligible bachelors too.

  • The Black Police

    No, booboo. I dont start arguments. I say my piece and move on. I dispel myths. I clarify facts.

  • TheBestAnonEver, Part 2

    I am indifferent to those groups as a whole. I will always feel an infinity for black women whatever their ethnicity and will always want the best for them.

  • CD86

    Our society in general loves to make excuses for men, especially Black men.

  • CD86

    A lot of Black men just have no interest in education. They want to be rappers, producers and sports players.

  • QONewcastle

    @Ms. Information

    You are ill-named. You have provided zero information whereas the person you told to get counseling provided at least some information that is relevant to the topic.

  • QONewcastle

    @The black Police

    Not only that but given these women’s degree these men still make more money. Still if you want a college educated man, the competition will be fierce.

  • The Black Police

    Yes, maam. It will be stiff.

  • The Black Police

    No, no. The name is exactly right.

    Ms. Information = Miss Information = Misinformation

  • QONewcastle

    I think we need to rescue our boys from Special Education. Get them off the medication. Get them into educational institutions that dont punish them for not being little girls. Get them better nutrition, a wholesome fitness routine, stronger support networks at home etc. Get them out of female dominated environments.

  • http://www.method2hermadness.blogspot.com girlformerlyknownasgrace

    Women outnumber men regardless of race (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/04/26/national/main20057608.shtml , because I know some college academic is going to ask me for a reference). And the reasons they give are examples of “correlation is not causation” effect. Those examples that the experts give are risk factors, not necessarily the rationale.

  • QONewcastle

    @CD86

    “They want to be rappers, producers and sports players.”

    ….but…but…but..but… they get all the bitches….

  • QofThecastle

    @TheBestAnon

    Forgive me if this post twice. This is the edited version. Highly edited. LOL.

    Why are there more boys in special education classes doped up on psycho-tropic drugs than females, nearly ensuring their failure to graduate? Why is there a larger support system both at home, in the educational system, and even the culture for girls to succeed in eduction than male children?

    Lets talk about the eduction of our MINOR (still under the legal social and moral guidance of their families) male children ? Lets not talk about what adult black men are doing. What about our boys? Dont they have parents? What are these parents doing to prepare their male CHILDREN to enter university?

    There are far more obstacles that face male children in education than our female children. We have actively hostile educators who want to medicate, incarcerate and suppress our male children. We will know the truth once this starts to affect more white boys. For now no one will talk about what happens to black boys in education. We had a black boy nearly tarred and feather because he told another student that a teacher was pretty. Thats war!

    “If that didn’t stop black women for applying, why is it a problem for black men? ”

    Men and women are prepared for university as children. Why not ask why our minor black male children are being discouraged from preparing for university while in high school? Talk about that. What steps are being taken in junior, middle school and high school to prepare our black BOYS, still minors, for entering university?

    “Sidenote to the nothing-but-a-brotha women: if you want a man at your educational level, the time for blind loyalty to black men is up. Recognize the glory in yourself and be open to love regardless of race or ethnicity.”

    There is a 60% to 40% female to male ratio at ALL universities. Good luck to all those black women having to compete with the 60% of all women wanting to hook the 40% of college educated men. This situation is going to bite ALL women in the butt soon enough. It already is.

  • jackieM

    Black fathers sticking around will be helpful. Dont you think?

  • MB

    @ TheBest
    I absolutely agree. Although only 50+% of black boys graduate high school, I would like to see most of those complete a post secondary education. Primarily at the university level. Commentors are excusing this by stating that women outnumber men in college and due to poor education at the school level. But their is no excuse why bm can not do better. My husband is not black, I realized a long time ago that I had to reach beyond my race to find a suitable partner.

  • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

    “We need vocational courses and trade schools and jobs for these young men.”

    This is where most of the men are…they are at trade schools. When a man picks up a trade, they will have instant access to jobs and money- the only downside being that they have to travel long distances at times. The difference between a college and a trade school is that you are almost always guaranteed a job when you graduate from a trade school. However, it is less so for a university when it comes to employment. As a person who stays in a college town, there are much more women than men walking around the campus- regardless of ethnic background. So singling out Black men for this is a little questionable- clearly there’s an agenda behind this.

    “Besides an education at an over priced HBCU is not worth the money.”

    I personally never saw the point in going to an HBCU myself. I hate to sound dismissive, but they are nothing more than social gatherings that just “happen” to be a place of education.

  • Whattheyneverfactor

    My issue is this. Black women always omit the fact that education for black men is severely undervalued. When black women get an education its seen as black female empowerment. When black males get an education they are often shunned, called lames. Black women collectively need to re-evalute how they value black men with an education. Black men who seek education or obtain career success in a world that is dominated by white males they do not get respect from black women because they are seen as assimilationist. There is too much of an alternative culture for black males to enter based on lack of resources and lack of job opportunities that black women fully support, only to complain about when they have a small selection of black males to pick from.

    Getting brothas in college is one issues, then once they get into college the conversation shifts to them choosing white women or other races of women over black women, ignoring the fact that many of the black render educated black men useless because she’s got her own education, and doesn’t need black men for her survival. So when black men are not educated it’s a problem, because “the numbers aren’t availablllllllLLLLe,” and when they are educated they are either devalued because they are assimilators and not romanticized like Ray-Ray who’s sticking it to the man by selling drugs, OR black women who are educated with sit around and talk about how they don’t need a man because they go their own ish.

    Black women are trying to add black men to their programs or use them as trophy men like Feidra from ATL housewives.

    Whether black men go to college or not – somehow some way they will not have value to most black women – ESPECIALLY the educated black women – hence the fence jump seen disproportionately by men who have themselves together.

    Much as black women complain – not to make this a “black women like thugs” argument – but Ray ray has no shortage of women or babies by black women.

    The other issue is seriously speaking what are black women really building with their education? are they kicking the asian businesses out the black community? No. They are doing the same things they accuse educated black men of doing which is moving to the burbs and joining whites.

    One last thought – most of the black men who make it to college are not from the hood. They tend to come from supportive families frequently from suburban predominantly white areas. (Something to consider) hence that lack of desirability for them anyway. I don’t know where some of women expect to get more black males to want to go to school when they are devalued in the black community anyway. There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for educated black men with many (not all) black women.

  • TheBestAnonEver, Part 2

    QON: I will be honest and say I barely have any interest in the US educational system. I don’t have kids and don’t plan on sending them to public schools when I do so I don’t spend anytime thinking about it. I will defer to your larger knowledge on the issue. You say boys are being prevented from preparing, my questions are: how is this being manifested? in what ways are black boys specifically being prevented from preparing for university? I am not being facetious, I just really want to understand it better. I am not familiar with the system so I am having a hard time visualizing how exactly this is taking place to black boys in a way that is not impacting black girls.

    As long as their is gender, class, and racial privilege, some group(s) will always be able to succeed without a degree (exhibit A: Zuckerberg). Whether it be a man earning a comparable income, with a comparable education, or comparable level of exposure, it is time black women be open to RECEIVING love from wherever it comes.

  • TheBestAnonEver, Part 2

    MB: So true.

  • Tonton Michel

    Yeah a lot of men prefer to go the trade school route which has immediate benefits financially. The problem is the economy is changing so drastically that those jobs are drying up. Even a BA in some professions isn’t enough now a days. I would like to see the trades offered to these kids in high school. That way they if they did choose to go to college they can support themselves doing it.

  • TheBestAnonEver, Part 2

    QON: Really? You think a black man will earn more than a black woman at the same job? I know overall because of the athletes, entertainers, etc, but everyday black man and woman? Nope.

  • TheBestAnonEver, Part 2

    So it is black women’s fautl? I knew we would get here eventually.

  • TheBestAnonEver, Part 2

    *fault*

  • girlformerlyknownasgrace

    Not me. Im trying to find me an educated black man!

  • QofThecastle

    @TheBestAnon

    This isnt about the US educational system per se. This is about a culture that punishes little boys for not being little girls. This is about a culture that decides that they are too hyperactive and challenging. Deciding that they are behavioral problems when the problem isnt with the boys but with a host of issues going on externally. I’ve already spoken about what happens to most children when they are corralled like animals into these Special Education tracks. Boys are more likely to be put into these farms than girls are. We’ve got a whole catalog of diagnosis to choose from to eventually render our male children hopeless and or useless: ADD, ADHD, Autistic, Special Needs, etc. Take your pick. Who suffers? The children of course. The schools get rid of their “problem child” the mother gets SSI checks and within a few years the prison gets a new inmate and black women cant sit around and wag their fingers at black men. Everyone is happy.

    Now if these boys arent being sedated they are being suspended and expelled more than girls are for their behavior. What do you think suspension and expulsion does to the education of those boys?

    Im sick to my teeth of the callousness and the indifference that this issue is being met with.

  • QofThecastle

    @MB

    Hopefully your “suitable” partner can teach you to read.

    “Commentors are excusing this by stating that women outnumber men in college and due to poor education at the school level.”

    Absolutely no on said this.

    “But their is no excuse why bm can not do better.”

    We arent talking about black men but black boys. There is no excuse why black parents can not do better. They have that moral obligation to their children.

    “My husband is not black…”

    …and black men all over the country breathe a sigh of relief.

    ” I realized a long time ago that I had to reach beyond my race to find a suitable partner.”

    So have black men, apparently.

  • QofThecastle

    @TheBestANon

    “You think a black man will earn more than a black woman at the same job? …but everyday black man and woman? Nope.”

    But black men and women dont have the same jobs. Thats the important difference. Pink collar jobs tend to not pay as well as blue collar or white collar jobs. Those jobs that men tend to dominate.

  • AustralianGirl

    I’m just waiting for QONew to cosign this post…. can’t pass up an opportunity to unfairly blame black women, now can we?

  • ruggie

    @Whattheyneverfactor – College-educated with opportunities and yet jealous of corner boys with various babymamas?! Would you like to serve time on their behalf, be on the run from parole officers, face a shorter life span, etc? You probably wouldn’t even date the women they’re with, girls in the ‘hood like them, yet you’re complaining they get all the women. This is just plain twisted. I don’t know what to say…Shocked. A good education gone to someone who doesn’t value what they have and, not surprisingly, can’t find a women to value it either.

    With all the black fraternities and brotherhood amongst black men who have come up in the world, how can you overlook that and say there’s no place for successful black men to belong. If anything, accusations of assimilation are coming from less successful brothers doing a little hating. But it’s much easier to take it out on black women I guess…

  • BeautyIAM

    @ Whattheyneverfactor

    Do you know how WEAK your comment just made you look????

    What a lame way to guilt trip people.

    Its about time people like you stop with the excuses.

  • Barbara

    The bestanon- WHAT A BEAUTIFUL COMMENT. Black men LOVE excuses. Amazing how they will stereotype blackwomen all the time but want to be held unaccountable for their own stupid actions.

    They face racism
    Yet black women face racism AND sexism
    Black men dont raise their kids, communities, children, or future. Black women do this all on their own WITHOUT HELP and with double the holdbacks AND BEING WOMEN!

    But black men sit and cry about not being able to makeit and how the white man is keeping him down. interesting to note though, let a white man view him dribbling a ball, sign him, pay him…and THEN that same black man who couldnt make it because of the white man IS making it BECAUSE of the white man. On top of that, he ends up marrying a white woman(who soon after runs away with all his money BACK to white men. yet they see black women as the golddiggers. most black men without a big break dont even make past 30,000 dollars a year..what gold?)

    Thats why i dont take black men seriously…at all. Sure there are some good ones, but I can count on one hand how many i have met thus far.

  • Barbara

    I dont get the “nothing but a black man ” thing either.

    I dont see whats so interesting about men whom are lewd, horrible in character, extremely sexist, lazy, unfatherly, and think that having a big dick is the biggest aim in life.

    Good man. PERIOD. i dont know WHAT black women are holding onto.
    Unreciprocated love is one of the most embarrassing things I have ever heard!

  • Barbara

    I agree…why the hell are black women so upbeat about defending men?
    HOWTHE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO TEACH A GROWN ASS MAN HOW TO BE A MAN?
    Or a boy?

    black women STOP THIS MESS! Yall are so down for black men that yall are sacrificing your own happiness. GET A GOOD MAN..PERIOD! A grown ass man DOES NOT NEED CODDLING OR TEACHING OF HOW TO BE A MAN..its instilled in him from birth what he wants to do. So stop!

    How many examples do black women have? Yet black men expect us to be at the top before they mess with us and they teach us NOTHING! so what is it with this one sided loyalty that so many black women give black men? ENOUGH ALREADY! ENOUGH!

  • Barbara

    So….you are seriously blaming black WOMEN for what black MEN choose to do.

    Interesting…so when black women fail at something, do you blame black men?

    And the funny thing is..SO MANY BLACK WOMEN WILL COSIGN RIGHT ALONG WITH YOUR COONERY. smh.

    Sometimes i wonder about black people and if we are just collectively too stupid for our own good.

  • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

    “I would like to see the trades offered to these kids in high school. That way they if they did choose to go to college they can support themselves doing it”

    But here’s the problem Tonton. Back when I was in high school a little over 20 years ago, the public schools actually did offer trade classes in high school to the kids. However, over the years due to drastic budget cuts and massive program cutbacks, these classes have become few and far between in the public educational system.

  • QofThecastle

    @Barbara

    I was about to respond to your comments then I realized you are supposed to be a parody of a black woman. Very funny.

  • QofThecastle

    @AfroStyling

    Dont black girls have Oprah and their mothers as role models? Its not about role models but socialization.

    “Continue coddling and landholding these men who dont have the gumption to do better for themselves!”

    Pretty rich coming from the government cheese crew.

  • binks

    Interesting. I was thinking about this the other day because the HBCU in my town have mostly Asian and East Indian men compared to black men. I don’t see how some of the comments made this information black women’s fault though :/ I believe this problem is mainly due to the fact that some black men and the perspective of college is a bit off putting to them and they dont see it as an instant solution of getting money in their pocket or a car. Most young black men I know worry about the now as oppose to the long term outlook of their future. I know plenty of nice young black men with great potential but they rather work hard at some 9 to 5 *which there is nothing wrong with* in the hopes they can move up on the job than go to college and if they finally do decide to go to college it is usually when they are in their late 20s or 30s.

    How about this as a possible solution…more smaller all males colleges similar to females colleges

  • LemonNLIme

    “When black males get an education they are often shunned, called lames.”

    “Black men who seek education or obtain career success in a world that is dominated by white males they do not get respect from black women because they are seen as assimilationist.”

    Seriously are you really going to blame black women for this? You mean to tell me that black men don’t go to college because black women will shun them? You mean to tell me that black men are so weak, pathetic, and feeble mind that they can’t think on their own and determine what to do with their own lives regardless what other think of it? I had no idea that black men were void of brains to think with on their own or free will to do what they way. Black women “shunning” black men has never stopped them from getting any tail so stop with that foolishness. WOW if I were a black male I would take GREAT offense to everything you wrote.

  • Tonton Michel

    Perverted Alchemist, your right the budget cuts did away with these vocations when they were crucial for the working middle class and a bridge for the low wealth communities to enter middle and upper class. But now the same people who cut funding to these programs are throwing money at the education system, that money needs to land into these trades at the high school level. And it may take an innovated leader at a school that values the trades as much as they value a college education with the backing of a community and local politicians.

  • BlacknAmazed

    It’s all Oprah’s fault. LMAO

    These blogs love race baiting…don’t they.

  • Whattheyneverfactor

    Response to all:

    1) I am not jealous nor concerned about the choices of black women and ray rays – I’m talking about the value placed on black men who are successful.

    2) Look – typical personal attacks and ad homs are not going to work here. Reading thru the comments there is not one point that refutes what I said – only the question of where BLAME is being assigned. Why? Because as I experience most of the time – black women do not have a rebuttal.

    3) The value of an education comes down to money – the issues in the black community are economical. Now with that said educated black men are not valued for 2 reasons.

    a) black men are not building their own with their education – they are assimilating or “working for the white man” which black women do not respect. “We are the white man’s B…” I’ve heard it numerous times when speaking with a number of black women as to why they don’t respect “educated black men.” Fair enough but the issue I have is that black women will brag and boast about them going out and doing the very same thing. Simply getting an education and enjoying life, NOT BUILDING UP THE COMMUNITY. When you try to charge black women with what they are not doing with their resources and education as it pertains the black community, black women will claim it is not their role which DEFINES exactly why black women are UNFIT to be leaders in the black community because they defer that responsibility to men (as they should) problem is speaking on where the community is now, they claim to be in charge and be the leaders (matriarchs) of the community yet want no part in taking responsibility for it’s condition. Black women need to stand down, simple as that.

    3) I understand why black women do not respect black men (especially those who are educated and arrogant) because these men are not laying foundations for black women where black women would have to depend on black men for their survival unlike other races of men. Everything black women have (YES EVERYTHING) when you break it down was given to black women by white men. Black women cannot hire themselves. If whites decided tomorrow to not give black women jobs – as they have done black men – where would black women be? But they’ll never realize that in their own narcissism. Fact – most educated black women went to college and got jobs given to them by whites. This is a collective issue, but both educated black men and women have their heads up their asses right now.

    4) The point I am making is that in other racial groups there is VALUE to educated men because education has a dollar value attached to it, and educated men of other races own and create their own jobs and businesses. Black men don’t. My quarrel with black women is they claim they want this system to exist in the black community, but they don’t want black men ontop – which undermines the whole thing. The black community cannot mirror other communities with black men as EQUAL to black women or UNDER black women. Men who look at women as superior to them or equal to them ARE COMPLACENT. They do not build. But! Strong black women do not want to be under black men, as they see it, so there is a fear that comes from multiple factors, many of which I find to be rather weak. Go back to the 60′s most black men worked in industry. That left. Black communities fell… we know the rest of the story. The last time the black community was self sufficient was when blacks were completely excluded from white society. Jealous whites either burned us out, or when we could integrate we thought that what whites had was better. THAT IS THE COLLAPSE of the black community. Not this – “OH THE BLACK MAN JUST DROPPED THE BALL” crap the women spew on this site often.

    The issue now is that women want the benefits of a patriarchy where black men are pretty much IDENTICAL to white men in controlling resources and building up their community – WITHOUT the controlling aspect. Black women now want to control because it’s been 40 years since they have seen male leadership. They are fearful of it, and then you have women who simply want the power. In either even black men who actually have themselves together are going to find that their CAPABILITIES will be found more valuable in other communities that are not black. They may not like him – but they sure ain’t going to throw away those resources. Unlike in our community where Tiger Woods would be rejected because he’s “lame” or doesn’t embody enough blackness – which he does not.

    The problem is in the process of throwing him away – THERE GOES THE BILLIONS. On a community level – THAT’S BEYOND DUMB.

    Take a look at whose going over the fence. Forget the broke brothas who leave, if they can, to black women their concern should be the men who would be the only ones that could and should fix the community, but they feel no respect or value coming from black women – so they leave and go where their value is higher.

    Men are not going to build where they do not feel valued, if we could even get them to build to begin with.

    Men build to pass on their legacy which take the cooperation of women. When black women are acting like they’re not down with getting with a man’s program because they have their own program as women. To a man who’s trying to build a foundation and pass on HIS legacy a woman who thinks she’s got her own is essentially useless to him.

  • Nunya

    ENOUGH HAND WRINGING ABOUT BLACK MEN ALREADY!! They are not doing anything to improve their situation so it’s time to STOP this guilt trip MESS y’all keep feeding black women generation after generation.

    Black men have the freaking President of the United States as their role model. When we have a black female president then I will really rejoice, because the truth is black women have FEWER role models than anybody, but we keep trying. I will NOT weep for the plight of po’ black men another day.

    Jeeeezus, black girls were raised in the same homes, went to the same schools, and receive just as much hard knocks and more. STOP ignoring our issues and focusing on black men, this site is not for brothers after all.

  • Afrostyling

    @queen, you must have me confused with your family members. Oniranu oshi!

  • Whattheyneverfactor

    3) I understand why black women do not respect black men (especially those who are educated and arrogant) because these men are not laying foundations for black women where black women would have to depend on black men for their survival unlike other races of men. Everything black women have (YES EVERYTHING) when you break it down was given to black women by white men. Black women cannot hire themselves. If whites decided tomorrow to not give black women jobs – as they have done black men – where would black women be? But they’ll never realize that in their own narcissism. Fact – most educated black women went to college and got jobs given to them by whites. This is a collective issue, but both educated black men and women have their heads up their asses right now.

    4) The point I am making is that in other racial groups there is VALUE to educated men because education has a dollar value attached to it, and educated men of other races own and create their own jobs and businesses. Black men don’t. My quarrel with black women is they claim they want this system to exist in the black community, but they don’t want black men ontop – which undermines the whole thing. The black community cannot mirror other communities with black men as EQUAL to black women or UNDER black women. Men who look at women as superior to them or equal to them ARE COMPLACENT. They do not build. But! Strong black women do not want to be under black men, as they see it, so there is a fear that comes from multiple factors, many of which I find to be rather weak. Go back to the 60′s most black men worked in industry. That left. Black communities fell… we know the rest of the story. The last time the black community was self sufficient was when blacks were completely excluded from white society. Jealous whites either burned us out, or when we could integrate we thought that what whites had was better. THAT IS THE COLLAPSE of the black community. Not this – “OH THE BLACK MAN JUST DROPPED THE BALL” crap the women spew on this site often.

    The issue now is that women want the benefits of a patriarchy where black men are pretty much IDENTICAL to white men in controlling resources and building up their community – WITHOUT the controlling aspect. Black women now want to control because it’s been 40 years since they have seen male leadership. They are fearful of it, and then you have women who simply want the power. In either even black men who actually have themselves together are going to find that their CAPABILITIES will be found more valuable in other communities that are not black. They may not like him – but they sure ain’t going to throw away those resources. Unlike in our community where Tiger Woods would be rejected because he’s “lame” or doesn’t embody enough blackness – which he does not.

  • Whattheyneverfactor

    The problem is in the process of throwing him away – THERE GOES THE BILLIONS. On a community level – THAT’S BEYOND DUMB.

    Take a look at whose going over the fence. Forget the broke brothas who leave, if they can, to black women their concern should be the men who would be the only ones that could and should fix the community, but they feel no respect or value coming from black women – so they leave and go where their value is higher.

    Men are not going to build where they do not feel valued, if we could even get them to build to begin with.

    Men build to pass on their legacy which take the cooperation of women. When black women are acting like they’re not down with getting with a man’s program because they have their own program as women. To a man who’s trying to build a foundation and pass on HIS legacy a woman who thinks she’s got her own is essentially useless to him.

  • CD86

    What is that supposed to mean to me?

  • RC

    ” 2) Look – typical personal attacks and ad homs are not going to work here. Reading thru the comments there is not one point that refutes what I said – only the question of where BLAME is being assigned. Why? Because as I experience most of the time – black women do not have a rebuttal.”

    you want a rebuttal….simple. NOTHING YOU SAID IS FACT.

  • QoNew

    @LemonnLime

    “You mean to tell me that black men are so weak, pathetic, and feeble mind that they can’t think on their own and determine what to do with their own lives regardless what other think of it? I had no idea that black men were void of brains to think with on their own or free will to do what they way.”

    The analysis above is a bit superficial but all people respond to incentives. Black boys and men do receive greater incentives for certain behaviors and zero incentives for none. But this isnt about black men but about black boys. I notice to slight of hand that is going on here when debating this issue. Generally children are meant to be prepared for college so why continue to talk about black men? Why not talk about black boys who are children and who are owed guidance and direction by their parents and family?

    Also black women can roll out all manner of excuses as to why they have low self esteem, wear weave, are fat, are single mothers, are poor etc. Are they likewise weak willed and weak minded?

    Lastly the vast majority of the creative impulses in the black community come from black men and black boys. They do have minds. They do have brains and what they have created from the nothing has influenced American soceity and the world.

    :)

  • QoNew

    @nunya

    “Black men have the freaking President of the United States as their role model.”

    Who was a virtual unknown before he became president and hasnt even be president for four years. Also black boys dont need role models they need proper socialization, support parents and educational insititutions that dont punish their boy behavior.

    ” When we have a black female president then I will really rejoice, because the truth is black women have FEWER role models than anybody, but we keep trying. I will NOT weep for the plight of po’ black men another day. ”

    Black girls get to see their mothers day in and day out as their role models. They als have an educational system that rewards them, supports them, and doesnt treat them like problem children. An educational system that doesnt medicate them, suspend them, expell them and herd them into special education classes and dope them up. Lets not even talk about the entitlements that women will stand to recieve if the bottom ever falls out from under them.

    “Jeeeezus, black girls were raised in the same homes, went to the same schools, and receive just as much hard knocks and more. STOP ignoring our issues and focusing on black men, this site is not for brothers after all.”

    Refer to the above. Why act as if black girls and boys recieve the same type of socialization in the home? Black boys are severally handicapped in these female dominated environments. Any boy would.

  • QoNew

    @whattheyneverfactor

    “Everything black women have (YES EVERYTHING) when you break it down was given to black women by white men. Black women cannot hire themselves. If whites decided tomorrow to not give black women jobs – as they have done black men – where would black women be? But they’ll never realize that in their own narcissism.”

    Thats wrong. The government is probably the largest employee of black women and its white women who consistently vote to expand the government that hires black women, expand entitlement programs, that feed black women and her children. White men always vote to shrink the government thus threatening the largest employer of black women. Lets not talk about how white men feel about affirmative action. Black women are given a leg up in employment and education due to affirmative action. Who constructed the image of the welfare queen, who was black, to end or decrease the level of support broke black women with kids can recieve?White men. Black women would like to think white men are thier friend. They attack black men openly but shred the safety net black women have been swinging from for decades. Meh!

  • JerseyGirl

    @Tonton and Perverted Alchemist

    Plain and simple, this country’s education system is not where it should be. I am a teacher, so I know first hand. In my opnion, the system is now based on a more liberal arts education rather than a business, vocational or technical experience. Everyone is not college bound therefore the vocational route will benefit many. Also, I wouldnt mind if the last 2-3 years of school was apprenticeships combined with academics. So that when children graduate at 18 they will have the vocational and academical experience/ skills needed for employment.

    But because this is not the case, I feel that black boys should not allow our society’s inadequacies to be an excuse not to venture on beyond high school. First high graduation numbers should be MUCH HIGHER (I solely blame parents for the low number of graduation rates. Not the govt, not teachers, but parents) And I say this while knowing that our system is flawed, but it’s the only system we have. Therefore, they have to use it to their advantage. Just like I and many others did. Second, black boys/ men have to take into account what is up against them and press on. Third, let’s not worry about white folks, interracial marriage, etc. Let’s focus on us.

    @Tonton, I only have a BA and I see your point. MA and PhD are being pushed. Especially in our field. Somehow I just think lobbyists are behind this. It’s about the money for these programs.

    @QONewcastle, You responses invole a lot of excuses that will continue to keep us bond as community. ONE THING I hated as a teacher was excuses. The world is not fair so you better learn to ensure you and yours press on.

  • Are You Serious Bro

    Pretty much……..

  • Socially Maladjusted

    . . . and I’d just like to add . . .

    what RC said ^^

  • linda

    YOU ARE RIGHT IN EVERYTHING YOU SAY AND I dont give a damn why they(black men) are having diffuculties and let them figure it out on their own.

  • lito

    -The achievement gap between males and females barely exists in white, Asian and wealthy communities. The “surplus” girls who skew the gender ratio are black, Hispanic and/or middle class.
    -Black boys do the best in school (grades and conduct) during the grade school years and the achievement gap is relatively narrow during those years. The argument that they’re being punished for not being able to sit still doesn’t fly, since their performance really tanks at an age when they should be able to do that. (Still, parents should be proactive and not let admins drug the sh*t out of their kid for convenience’s sake)
    -Girls need school more than the boys. In the trades, manufacturing, the church etc. there are good paying jobs for men. There are no good paying jobs for women that don’t require some post secondary schooling. Because of this, I don’t see how you close the gap without discouraging girls from getting their education. It’s not just a matter of attrition- the girls have better grades and are more likely to be school leaders too. There is an effort gap that no one wants to talk about, but it matters.

  • linda

    I dont give a damn and I dont have to support anybody. I am sick of black chics like you telling other Black women we have to support black men;always shoving black men down our throats.I have never in my life heard a group of black men telling other black men to support Black women.NEVER IN MY LIFE!!!!. I see how black men treat Black women,speak about Black women.HELLO- RAP MUSIC!!!!!. I DONT GIVE A DAMN!.

  • linda

    SHADDUP!!!!! Why dont you invite them all to your home and homeschool them?

  • linda

    SHADDUP!!!!with your lame excuses and blaming.Why should Black women give a damn?

  • Socially Maladjusted

    shut up idiot

    The conversation is about the reasons for the sex imbalance in unveristies

    Do have anything insightful rather than inciteful to say on that?

    All I’m getting from your rant, is that you are an opportunist who seeks to exploit a serious social issue to further your own lame cause of eliminating “thug” from the sexual competition.

    you pathetic filthy little man.

    You couldn’t care less about solving the problems underpriviledged black men face in accessing higher education, in fact, you count on them having that disadvantage because it allows you to present yourself as the answer to black women’s problems.

    You make me sick and it’s only because they’d delete it that I aint cussin out your dotty likkle klaaart.

    Fool.

  • Socially Maladjusted

    @QoN

    You are fire today woman.

    Damn!

    LOL!

  • linda

    “Benefits of patriarchy” LOL! I see you have been reading the BWE(BLack women empowerment) blogs esp.BLACKFEMALEINTERRACIALMARRIAGE(google it);and I guess we are supposed to be scared because WE wont get with the program and support the po Black man and thats why the po black man is gonna go to the OTHERS who will support him.LMAO!!!

  • HowApropos

    Well stated, Linda!

    All this coddling of black males and making excuses for them is just pitiful.

    pathetic, really…

  • HowApropos

    Woop! Woop!

    The Mammy Patrol is on its way to rescue the po’ po’ black mens from their miserable plight!

    Yay Queen Mammy!

  • HowApropos

    With all the programs geared at black males on campus, how is this black women’s fault?

    See how easy it is to just use black women as scapegoats whenever the excuses that black males make don’t add up to why they’re such pu$$ies in this day and age?

    You and Queen Mule need to sit down somewhere.

    This Mammy Madness is just crazy!

  • HowApropos

    Writing all this only lets me know that you also like to make excuses.

    Once again, not interested…moving on!

  • HowApropos

    He ain’t doing nothing but being Super Mammy and you’re his #1 bootlicker.

  • Laina

    There are many reasons why Black men are not making it to HBCUs.
    Cost, if they go to college, they attend community college because it is cheaper.
    Interest and Money, they are more interested in a trade such as being an auto mechanic rather than earning a useless liberal arts degree. There is a quicker return on going to trade school vs college.
    Money, the need to start working after high school to earn money to help their single mother and siblings. Preparation, they cannot get into college because they do not have the grades because they were put on the dysfunction track.

    I agree with the comment about allowing boys to be boys. At a young age, in particular boys like to run, jump, play and have fun. There is nothing wrong with that. You can incoporate learning in an environment. Yet, most schools want to repress the natural inclinations of boys. So the school complains to the mother, they won’t sit still in class and it goes down hill from there. Added to that are the adverse reactions to food such as milk and red dye, all irritants that can disrupt the body but there is never any thought to improve the diet. Just put them on the pills, special ed, prison. There is money and jobs opportunities to support dysfunction.

  • QofThecastle

    @JErseyGirl

    Maybe Sandra Bullock or Madonna can adopt and raise these black boys.

  • linda

    Are you that * ESHOWOMAN* chic who has been around the internet for years hating on other Black women(esp. Black american women) but doing some serious stanning for black men- most of whom would not spit on you if you were on fire?!. FYI:the men who you defend so readily do not want Black women like you.

  • Socially Maladjusted

    howlame

    oh stop hatin and get your game up

    lol

  • Socially Maladjusted

    All I’m learning from this diss-cussin is that black people like being black need to take immediate action to rid ourselves the regressive elements that live in our midsts.

    I’ve also learned in my time on the internet, that the internet is not the place to have a discussion about any serious issue in the black community.

    What a bunch of loons.

  • Socially Maladjusted

    *black people who like being black*

  • alldawg

    What I have noticed is where black men are the subject, it becomes an anti-black man forum…
    The most negative comments about black men come from ‘more often than not’ black women, and these are the same women who ‘claim to be educated’ are the nurturers of these black boys…
    Black girls rock, black boys get rocks thrown at them..

    If you need proof, here it is

    you pathetic filthy little man

    shut up idiot…

    He ain’t doing nothing but being Super Mammy and you’re his #1 bootlicker.

    ENOUGH HAND WRINGING ABOUT BLACK MEN ALREADY!! They are not doing anything to improve their situation so it’s time to STOP this guilt trip MESS y’all keep feeding black women generation after generation.

    SMH..this “these comments” is what BW call loyalty, this is what is being put into the heads of black boys by BW before he gets a felony, or before he takes an ACT test, before he has an out of wedlock child…

    Last thing, i find it very accomindating that when a post becomes a beat down session about BM, an inter-racial link/dating site ad pops up…

  • Kinectic

    I wonder the same things myself…

  • HowApropos

    the same can be said when the subject of black women come up in articles.

    and more often than not, black men are silent whereas a lot of black women still come to defense of black men out of blind loyalty.

    it works both ways….

  • HowApropos

    i made you respond, didn’t i?

    you should be taking note…

  • alldawg

    Not on the same scale, there is a market for black man bashing long before blogging became a voice for BM, and still its a whisper…

    Im not making this into a your feet are uglier than my feet arguement. However BM are the easiest target and attracts the most attention.

    We live in a culture where BW will air out there disstain about BM, either it be school enrollment numbers, job numbers or just plain venting of a frustration…

    IE
    BM and jobs, there is no complaining about why BM cant get employment, all contributing factors are just bushed under the rug…To futher prove this how many black professors have tenure at an university, Boyce Watkins made this point as to why there as never been 1 BM or BW to have tenure at his former employer…

    That is one reason why I and so many other BM call other BW post non-sense because of the lack of balance in thier argrument..

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

    Thank you!@Reality Check. People act so brand new about stats when it comes to Black people. This post needed some perspective. Women of all ethnic groups outnumber men of their ethnic groups in college, period.

    But as usual it’s more interesting to ‘other’ Black people like we’re so different from everyone else.

  • BeautyIAM

    @ alldawg

    You really need to re-read some of those comments because you just took them out of context. You completely ignored WHY people were making those comments. I certainly have no problem “bashing” an idiot. You just had a comment that was made which basically blamed black women for why black men are not attaining a higher education. I am not going to feel sorry for people who continuously make an excuse for why they are not doing better. I certainly will not stand for black women being thrown under the bus for another persons failure.

    I do have compassion for young boys who are not in the proper environment to flourish. What I don’t have compassion for is people who have the audacity to act like they can’t accomplish x, y, and z. Then have the nerve to give sorry excuses. I’m not having it and neither are some of the other people that are commenting.

    Its beyond embarrassing to hear black men and women talk as if black men don’t have a brain. I know young black men can succeed, but you can’t make a million and one excuses why a grown ass man is not where he should be in life.

    News flash: This a a major turn off.

    This didn’t even have to be a black men vs. black women debate. That was so 2011. The problem with this conversation is that people are just blaming and finger pointing, which gets you no where. I understand that a lot of black men have bruised egos, but don’t expect black women to continuously stroke a black mans ego when he is not holding himself accountable for his mistakes.

    Now, if you will excuse me, I have some studying to do.

  • alldawg

    I know why those comments were made, those comments were a rebuttal towards another poster…which were dismissive in nature….

    However, my point is one of the many reason why a young man will opt out of school, either high school or post-secondary is do to the notion that BM an!t sh!t…
    This slogan has become a sound off in BW circles, here and many other forums, which more of a reflection of the article, which by one author…

    “You just had a comment that was made which basically blamed black women for why black men are not attaining a higher education”

    There is alot of sin to go around, and it is very unpopular to hold BW accountable for the childrens direction in life on the site..I get feeling that when one express that notion he is called an idiot.

    another post mentioned BB and BG in the same house but mainly the BG go off to college…
    As to blame in this situation, what is going on in the house hold to make that case, is black girls rock going on in the home, but no black boys rock…
    But I can say there is a correlation between quality of home life and college attendence, considering the number of single female headed house holds, what conclusion can one make without involving factors outside that family circle…
    No one has a greater influence over a child then the custodial parent/s….

    We all have some studying to do, dont we… :)

    -side note-
    I live in an apartment complex, and I just heard my neighbor yell at her son, yes she called him a ni66a, and she’ll beat the sh!t out of him….

  • Deb

    As an elementary teacher in public school, I can tell you teachers (at least the many I know) are doing the best they can. I don’t think people want little boys to act like girls, but the essence of school (at all levels) is the students sits and listens while the teacher teaches. Games and activities are to come, but that’s the order of things. Walk into any college classroom, and that’s what you will see – teacher teaching and kids listening. So your hyperactive little boy needs to learn to sit down or interventions are needed so that other students’ learning isn’t compromised. Lots of times those interventions come as special education services. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had parents requesting special ed for their kid that is basically a spoiled brat that doesn’t like to be told no and thinks he’s in charge.

    PARENTS are responsible for their children’s behavior. Period. Your kids should know how to act before they ever come to Kindergarten, even if it’s the basic – an adult told you to do something (appropriate), now do it. Until parents step up to the plate, teachers can only do so much.

    Special education tracking is VERY REAL. Your hyperactive little boy might be cute when he’s 3 but when he’s 8 and can’t read, it’s not so cute anymore. Now he’s stuck in class with the kid that poops on himself; qualifying to exit special education is not easy. If a child doesn’t read by age 9 (normally fourth grade), research shows that that child will NEVER learn to read up to grade level in order to graduate and go to college.

    I would never trust a school to be the SOLE educator for my child – and that’s coming from a teacher. If you’re not willing to turn off the TV, put away the video game babysitters, read nightly with your child, help with homework and even extend homework activities, and put your kid in structured, socialized activities (sports, scouts, etc.) – then it’s going to be a hard road. Parents are their kids first teachers and if you weren’t ready to do that, why did you have a child?

  • Socially Maladjusted

    dawg

    get your facts right – my comments

    “pathetic flthy little man” and “shut up idiot”

    were directed at a buffoon whose opinions have no place in a discussion about the welfare of black men – kinda like YOUR opinions if truth be told.

    And stand by what I said and I’ll say them to anyone else comes out with same kind of crap.

    and fyi – I am a black MALE myself.

    It really says a lot that people go to the trouble of commenting on an issue involving people they care nothing for.

    If you’re really apathetic about issues involving black men why not just ignore black men and OUR issues?

    Why claim to be apathetic, and then go out way your to shit on people and their issues?

  • Deb

    Yup, please rescue these young black boys from special education. And you know who should be jumping at the job? THEIR PARENTS. Kids aren’t getting medication from school by the way. Their parents must take them to the doctor to get medicated – it is illegal for any school to suggest medication to a family because teachers are not doctors. Again, if parents would do their job (and believe me, I know it’s a hard job that’s time consuming, but that’s what you agree to when you enter that 3rd trimester), then more kids will be successful.

    BTW, one of the triggers of ADHD is TV and screen time. Wouldn’t you be ADHD too if you spent hours looking at bright flashing lights? Start hanging out with your kids more and leaving them with the digital babysitters.

  • Socially Maladjusted

    dawg

    you’re a malignant spirit whose is full of hate.

    I pity YOU and I’m glad I’m not like you, because hate must be the only thing you’ve got.

    If not

    then why not choose to be a decent human being and save your eternal soul?

  • alldawg

    @social

    This is not about me or one other person…
    I address the issue at hand, your deflection only stands about the height of a flea, and I am 5’11”…

    All i did was take your comment, your approach in handling an arguement and applied into an academic setting and a home invironment were black men are concerned…

    If a man addresses his concerns about a community without name calling, and someone comes in and asigns personal titles to that indivual as if it can invalidate his argument is auditioning for a seat in the chior..

    something tells me that you have your hand on your hip, while your standing by your word…
    excuse me for mistaking you for a women….

  • linda

    ARE YOU JOKING? For decades now black men have been spewing the filthiest most degrading HATE music about Black Women to the WHOLE world but aacording to you its Black women who are bashing black men;Black women who hate black men;It is Black women who are not *LOYAL*.JESUS!!!!! I keep going back to C-RAP music because that is what woke me up.I always wonder what would have been the consequences if it was Black women who have been spewing this filth about black men for Decades in front of the world?.How would Black men have reacted? Now you black men want sympathy,loyalty?.PLEASE.CRY ME A RIVER!.

  • http://generation-x.net/viewProfile.php?user=Kaptansolo&ref=Kaptansolo Kaptan Solo

    Let’s look at this…

    “So what’s behind the disparity? Experts say that black men have very few role models that inspire them to pursue education, face tougher financial odds, and are less prepared for college than their female counterparts.”

    Kap’s response
    Ok..why is this? According to the “Experts”, young black men have fewer role models that inspire them.
    1st question is “Where” AREN’T these role models?
    Would a black man walking around the community with a degree inspire young boys to go to college?
    Answer: No
    The only way he could “inspire” young boys to go to college is if he is actively involved in solving the actual problems that affect young black boys. So..I don’t think the issue is the number of role models as much as it is what those who do possess the education AREN’T DOING and WHERE they AREN’T doing it.

    Next one…
    “face tougher financial odds”

    Kap’s response
    Well yes…young black men do face a different problem once they turn 18. Food, shelter and clothing are all a part of adulthood and young black men who are thrust into adulthood usually don’t have a proper foundation of support such a transition. Why? Well, the way we have been socialized about manhood and responsibility causes a lot (not all) people to classify them as men at 18 whether they are ready or not. The basic needs for survival take priority over obtaining an education. Interest in a long term endeavor such as 4 to 6 years at a college or university become unrealistic because it does not address his immediate needs.
    Ride the subway systems of any major US city and the number of young black men you will see sleeping on the trains is enough to stun you. These are young men under 25 years old who have no place to call home.
    You don’t see too many young women in those situations, so I would venture to say that it must not be as desperate as it is for young men…why? How many homeless young women do you know? ..and how many homeless, childless women do you know?
    Well, there are more programs set up to help young women. If they have children, they can get housing. There are plenty of programs to help single mothers to finish high school (if they haven’t), enter a community college (to improve their grade point average), day care services for their children. Now, this is not to suggest that these accommodations for young women are stellar because they are not, but they do offer some sort of support which can be utilized for her if she is interested in furthering her education.

    Next one:
    “and are less prepared for college than their female counterparts.”

    Kap’s response
    Why? Why are young men less prepared for college than their female counterparts? This statement actually begs to ask HOW are young women better prepared for college. If you can identify that….then you can “easily” determine what needs be done to better prepare young black men…right?
    It was technology that created more opportunities for women in the workplace. Jobs that were traditionally held by men are diminishing rapidly. More labor intense jobs like construction trades and manufacturing are down. So..even though these skills are needed to rebuild our communities, you can look at black communities EVERYWHERE and see the need for reconstruction, they aren’t exactly the curriculum that college and universities focus on. So, young black men would have to be mentored in studies that are more tech based if they are to be prepared for college as women are…right?

    Next one:
    “In addition, once they make it to college it takes black men longer to graduate from college and many drop out. Only 29% of black men graduate from HBCUs in six years as opposed to 33% at all colleges and universities (57% of people graduate within six years nationally).”

    Kap’s response
    This one is pointless to bring up simply because it is unrelated to the title.
    The title of the article is…
    “Black Men Are A ‘Distinct Minority’ at HBCUs”
    We are addressing why the men aren’t there….not their performance once they are there…right?
    But since we are on it….This would say that HBCUs are not doing a very good job of preparing young black men to work in fields that were not traditionally held by men…right? Why are they taking longer to graduate?
    What type of support do women have at these “places of higher learning” that young men don’t?

    Last one…
    “Many schools and organizations are working to close the gender gap in higher education. Through outreach groups that target young black boys offering tutoring and mentorship, to companies and universities that offer funding to black male students going to college, many are hoping to inspire more young black men to pursue higher education.”

    Kap’s response…
    like I said above…
    If you want to inspire more young black men…then you are going to need more black men to be actively present in the communities addressing the issues that black boys face….plain and simple.

  • alldawg

    Deb..

    thank you, i said the same thing about the home invironment and its place of a childs development in his/her direction…

    old fools use to be young fools, who behavior was not removed before adulthood…

    As far as special ed is concerned, school get extra funding for each indivual student, parents can get a ssi check for it as well, so greed plays a role as well as it being a tool used to get rid of students teachers dont want to deal with…

    parents have right that they may not know about, such as having an independant diagnosis from an outside agency, at the schools expense….

  • http://generation-x.net/viewProfile.php?user=Kaptansolo&ref=Kaptansolo Kaptan Solo

    My own quote:
    “So..even though these skills are needed to rebuild our communities, you can look at black communities EVERYWHERE and see the need for reconstruction, they aren’t exactly the curriculum that college and universities focus on”

    I just wanted to add that the main reason there is no focus on these trades or even MEP engineering for young black men is because there are no funds being directed for the rebuilding of our communities. There are also no entities being set up that would create a BOOM in our communities that would create the type of opportunities needed to inspire young black men to go to college.

  • alldawg

    ARE YOU JOKING? For decades now black men have been spewing the filthiest most degrading HATE music about Black Women to the WHOLE world but aacording to you its Black women who are bashing black men;Black women who hate black men;It is Black women who are not *LOYAL*.JESUS!!!!! I keep going back to C-RAP music because that is what woke me up.I always wonder what would have been the consequences if it was Black women who have been spewing this filth about black men for Decades in front of the world?.How would Black men have reacted? Now you black men want sympathy,loyalty?.PLEASE.CRY ME A RIVER!.

    For decades now black men have been spewing the filthiest most degrading HATE music about Black Women to the WHOLE world.

    Faceplam at this comment…

    Before you denounce the fruit, check the tree that produced it…
    I see no correlation between your post about music lyrics and my post about who is in charge of a childs upbringing and how that influences the ratio of BG/BB college enrollment…

    But ill entertain your point..
    The word b*cth is a unisex word, rappers call other men that same word.
    Same goes for ho as well…
    What rapper calls herself the baddest b, queen b. Are these women included in your assesment..

    It was also BM who wrote all those love songs about BW during the 70′s when black love was at its peak…All that ended around the time feminism when took off and BM were called dogs on nation TV before too live crew became mainstream..

    Ill conceded to the point that the most filth filled lyrics can be found in rap, however they rap about what women respond to, and not what they say they want to hear…

    little wayne can start clothing shelter for a 3rd world community with the amount of panties thrown at him…

  • Diadem

    Hate to throw a grenade in the excuses here, but a sizeable amount of the young black men who are in universities today are the children of black immigrants.

    I have worked in three separate universities and have come to the conclusion that the socialization of black boys is the MAIN culprit of the failure to thrive in AA men. African and Caribbean boys also grew up under less than stellar circumstances, often went to the same schools as American black boys, and had the SAME amount of ‘boyish rambunctiousness’. The ones who assimilated in the hip hop culture etc are now sitting on the block right next to home grown black boys, and the others who didn’t are THRIVING.

    A sizeable part of the the detrimental socialization of black boys is the complete unwillingness to accept any form of introspection that would lead toward ownership of any part of their own circumstances. Underneath it all, they are instructed to believe that they will never succeed without saving intervention from white men or black women. Black women are supposed to ‘support’ and ‘defend’ them, because nothing is their fault.

    Black girls, on the other hand, are used to being told that by their own stupidity, they are completely responsible for their plight. This actually causes us to be proactive (in many cases) because the mental correlation between our choices and our circumstances is not completely eroded.

  • Socially Maladjusted

    The difference in condition between black men and women today is pretty much exactly the same as it was in slavery – no difference.

    Nobody’s got it better or worse than the other. Black men women and children are all in an effed up situation and right thinking black people must never lose sight of that.

    Black men and black women both suffered horrible oppression under the system of slavery but I doubt that they would have let the system come between them.

    For example -

    what sense would it have made for blacks, in slavery times, to quarrel among themselves over the fact that more black women could read than black men?

    I don’t think black women back then would have seen that as a “weakness” of black men’s own making.

    ridiculous.

    I’m sure that most right thinking black men and women in slavery were all too aware that the source of their woes was the system of slavery – just as the system of neo-slavery is the source of our woes today.

    Thankfully, most of us are still very much aware that FACT,

    despite the efforts the agent provocateurs to incite blacks against each other and sow the idea that our problems are personal and individual rather than systemic and collective.

    Shit even whites have finally woken up to the violence of this system – and just by virtue of numbers, pose a far greater threat to this system than blacks.

    So I don’t know why these people waste their time trying to sabotage anything that threatens to bring about black solidarity – it aint blacks you should be worried about.

    White people are all over place cussin out the system, their leaders their military, police every-ting.

    Go f uck with them.

    :-)

  • Socially Maladjusted

    dawg

    like I said shut up IDIOT

    you aint addressing anything other than you’re thug envy issues.

    kiss off

    lame ass . . .

  • Socially Maladjusted

    Not being an american I don’t know what kinda clout a degree from an HBCU carries so the entire conversation may be purely academic.

    If it doesn’t open the kinda doors that are usually only opened for ivy league graduates then –

    who cares how many black men are not going?

    Only got one life and wasting 3 years of your youth and $40,000 of your money (plus interest) for a piece of paper that doesn’t actually confer any advantage, or useful skill, is

    anti-common sense and anti-education.

    Indeed this seems to storm in a tea cup because according to several stats I’ve read, there are more black men attending non-HBCU’s than in them.

    So it might just be that black female undegrads are more clustered in HBCU’s while black male undergrads are spread over a more diverse range of universities.

    yeh I know

    the truth is alway a lot less exciting than the doom mongers opporunists and haters want it to be

    but the good news is everyone can put away their “in-depth” analysis of what black men are “lacking” in terms of roles models work ethic and this, that and the other options..

    buffoonery of the highest order

    LMAO!

  • LemonNLime

    @QoNew – I hope you realize most of what I wrote was indeed sarcasm. One could tell from my final statement “if I were a black male I would take GREAT offense to everything you (Whattheyneverfactor) wrote.” I am not the one who wrote to comment blaming black women for black mens lack of effort to pursue an education. That is a lazy mans way of thinking. Rather than taking responsibilities for their poor choices and actions he blames black women for making black men choose these paths as if we are holding a gun to their skulls telling them not to pursue an education. That is preposterous.

    In addition to that I responded to his comment…which wasn’t about black boys. That is an entirely different and complex subject. Plus if you are going into college, the main focus of the article, then you are an adult typically.

    “Also black women can roll out all manner of excuses as to why they have low self esteem, wear weave, are fat, are single mothers, are poor etc. Are they likewise weak willed and weak minded? ”

    Yes many of those women are and I have no time to deal with their foolishness either. Some excuses from time to time are warranted but I find most of the excuses used by many in the black community to be nothing but the result of laziness and ignorance. Many of the ills of the black community come from laziness and ignorance in my opinion.

    I would much rather be a rapper or a drug dealer rather than go to school because that is where fast money is….laziness and ignorance. I am single and having my 3rd child…laziness and ignorance.

    And wearing weave is not on the same level as not receiving an education. Although depending what you are buying you might have to finance both :)

  • LemonNLime

    Seriously everything you write makes me want to throw up in my mouth.

  • LemonNLime

    That is because it is hard to debate while typing but mostly because the CRAZIES *cough, cough Whattheyneverfactor* come out to play behind the comfort of their anonymous computer screens.

    Sometimes I think comment sections on the internet and Youtube were one of the worst things to happen to the black community in my short lifetime.

  • CD86

    “The word b*cth (sic) is a unisex word, rappers call other men that same word.”

    Um, no it’s not really.

  • linda

    SIGH!!!!!!

    I CANT!!!

    YOU ARE A JOKER!!!

  • TheBestAnonEver, Part 2

    I just want to point out white women benefit the most from affirmative action so if as you argue white men are out to harm black women, they are out to harm white women more.

  • JerseyGirl

    @Deb

    From one teacher to another, I LOVE YOU… :)

    I agree with every single word. Your last paragraph was on point.

  • JerseyGirl

    Alldawg

    Bw are fed up with the excuses. Black men have excuses why they can not only further their education, but complete their education in the first place (50% drop out rate). That’s bw’s fault?. How, when we’re screaming for you all to succeed. Bm have excuses why they can not be proper fathers. And these excuses tend to always go back to black women. Is it also our fault that most bm have criminal records?

    May I ask, who am I to hold a man back? No one was able to prohibit me from achieving, but for some reason, men want to blame women for their lack of success. Dont blame the few commentors on this site who have given up on bm. Yes, I said given up. Try blaming your brothas for given up on their sons, daughters, and families years, decades ago.

  • QofThecastle

    @TheBestAnon

    They have always constructed an argument against welfare and affirmative action by using black women and underserving ethnic minorities. White women will suffer if these government programs are ended by its our image that gets people against these programs not images of white women.

  • QofThecastle

    @Deb

    Thanks for your input. Have you noticed the slight of hand here? Instead of talking about black male children being properly prepared and groomed for university, we end up talking about the black man. No one will talk about black male children because then we will have to talk about what their parents are doing. Who are their parents? Who are their custodial parents and what role do they play?

  • QofThecastle

    @linda

    ” Why dont you invite them all to your home and homeschool them?”

    I am a woman and unlike you I still retain the feminine qualities of a woman to nurture and provide for children. Do you think you are threatening me with telling me I should home school them? That isnt a threat. Firstly the billions of dollars black women spend on her hair, nail, clothes and cosmetics would be redirected to provide any additional and extra curricular support for their children. Tutors, remedial education, health sports and fitness, therapy instead of medication, etc. I would make their needs first second and third priority for me and not enriching Koreans.

  • QofThecastle

    @Jersey

    “But because this is not the case, I feel that black boys should not allow our society’s inadequacies to be an excuse not to venture on beyond high school. First high graduation numbers should be MUCH HIGHER (I solely blame parents for the low number of graduation rates. Not the govt, not teachers, but parents) ”

    The parents? LOL. Judging by the comments I assumed black boys were raising themselves and in some cases they probably are. So what do these parents owe to their children? You seem like quite a dangerous, inadequate, and unsupportive “teacher” and I would hate to have my black son in your class. Im not one to blame teachers either but you have a responsibility to them too especially when you spend a great amount of time with them and you should be trained in being able to notice the problems of children and to offer any measures to help and support them. Id imagine that in your care many black male children are being sent off to the gallows.

  • QofThecastle

    @HowApropo

    Thanks. I would be a proud Mammy to black boys. And all of my resources, time and energy would go into their educational, psychological, physicaly, emotional, and spiritual development. I wouldnt be giving a dime to no Korean while my children were in such need. I wouldnt be spending a dime to keep up with the Basketball Wives while my children needed a tutor for math or sciences or if there was a martial arts studio in my area that they could attend. I would do my own nails do my own hair, use public facilities and cook my own food and theirs just to save money to support my children. Yes I would.

  • QofThecastle

    @HowApropo

    Thanks. I would be a proud Mammy to black boys. And all of my resources, time and energy would go into their educational, psychological, physicaly, emotional, and spiritual development. I wouldnt be giving a dime to no Korean while my children were in such need. I wouldnt be spending a dime to keep up with the Basketball Wives while my children needed a tutor for math or sciences or if there was a martial arts studio in my area that they could attend. I would do my own nails do my own hair, use public facilities and cook my own food and theirs just to save money to support my children. And I would do all that because that is what they DESERVE!!!!

  • QofThecastle

    @JerseyGirl

    If I were a mother and my son didnt graduate high school I would feel responsibility. Your the head of the home, you are responsible for that child.

  • QofThecastle

    @Diadem

    “Hate to throw a grenade in the excuses here, but a sizeable amount of the young black men who are in universities today are the children of black immigrants.”

    Are where are African girls? At home cooking Fufu?

    “I have worked in three separate universities and have come to the conclusion that the socialization of black boys is the MAIN culprit of the failure to thrive in AA men.”

    And who is meant to socialize children?

    “African and Caribbean boys also grew up under less than stellar circumstances, often went to the same schools as American black boys, and had the SAME amount of ‘boyish rambunctiousness’.”

    Thats wrong. You cant come to America with nothing. How did these poor African and Carribean families get Visas to come to America? You cant just waltz into the US.

    “A sizeable part of the the detrimental socialization of black boys is the complete unwillingness to accept any form of introspection that would lead toward ownership of any part of their own circumstances.”

    Of course they do. When they do bad they fill up the prisons. Women on the other hand, when they do bad, they get WIC. Stop playin.

    “Underneath it all, they are instructed to believe that they will never succeed without saving intervention from white men or black women. Black women are supposed to ‘support’ and ‘defend’ them, because nothing is their fault.”

    The black community and black women dont support black men. Like I have said many times before there are two types of black men and boys who recieve “support” in the community. I often refer to them as “runners.” If you arent running from the police or running with a basketball or football as a black man you are persona non grate in the black community.

    “Black girls, on the other hand, are used to being told that by their own stupidity, they are completely responsible for their plight. This actually causes us to be proactive (in many cases) because the mental correlation between our choices and our circumstances is not completely eroded.”

    No there exist a HUGE social safety net for women and especially black women at every government level. You get pregnant you get all manner of support for being a strong single mother and huge wealth transfers from the tax payer to clean up the mess you made. Stop the lies. Black men have the prison or the military if he wants any governmental support. Black men cant just lay up on they back like black women/girls can.

  • QofThecastle

    @Diadem

    “Blacks at Ivy League schools are over three times more likely to be immigrants than blacks in America’s general population, a study published in February’s American Journal of Education and coauthored by Princeton researchers suggests.”

    http://www.dailyprincetonian.com/2007/03/07/17622/

  • Ebony82

    One way to reolve the issue is to provide more positive role models to black men when they are boys because it seems to be too late once they reach adulthood. The responsibility is on the parent when the boys are young. If their mother, father or both sees that there are no positive role models in their neighborhood it is their responsibility to seek one/them out. A teacher, pastor, friend, it does not matter. Even getting them involved in an afterschool or Saturday activity to keep them away from negative influences and people in the neighborhood would help.

  • Ebony82

    So what do you think would be a possible solution to the problem? You sound as though you hate black men. Many women are looking after themselves as far as looking for a mate who is educationally, etc. compatible with them.

  • Ebony82

    We need to support our brothers when they are young. When the are no longer children or teenagers, they should be able to make their own choices. It is not our responsibility as black women to hold the hands of black men who do not want to do anything positive with their lives. Life is too short and it would be in vain.

  • JerseyGirl

    @Q

    Yes, every parent should feel reponsible (including fathers who tend to be absent) but at the end of the day the black boy still has obsticles stacked against him. He chose not to complete his education. He chose not to ensure his future. Trust me, with the drop out rates at 50%, I can guarantee mommy isnt advocating for her son to go through life without proper qualifications. Also, Im still wondering how women prevent men from accomplishing achievements. Without a high school diploma, a person still has the opportunity to work, provide for self and family. So what is the excuse? It doesnt matter what Im doing or saying, a man should be a man and take control of his life. Bm tend to make excuses until their end of days.

  • JerseyGirl

    For all of you men barking about the attitudes of women concerning this matter, what is your position concerning the many fathers who are absent? What do you say to black men about their roles in raising their children and how their lack of responsibility is affecting black boys and our community?

  • Diadem

    @QofTheCastle

    You said
    “Are where are African girls? At home cooking Fufu?”

    I recommend a Logic 101 class for you (I am not joking). You have a zero sum thinking pattern, which means that if somebody talks about Person A doing a good thing, Person B must not be doing anything, unless it’s specifically mentioned. That logic comes from lazy thinking African girls were out of the scope of my comment, and reasonable people already understood that.

    “And who is meant to socialize children?”

    I am frightened that you actually need to ask that. I can only assume that you are trying to create an argument that assigns blame to some group that you do not like. I will give you a hint if you really do not know — the policing tone of your writing shows that YOU are attempting to defend some kind of socialization that you believe is right. Good luck with that.

    “African and Caribbean boys also grew up under less than stellar circumstances, often went to the same schools as American black boys, and had the SAME amount of ‘boyish rambunctiousness’.”

    Immigrants can and do come with nothing. I just found a scholarship for a 19 year old kid whose Nigerian father drives a taxi 7 days per week to make a living. His mother sews dresses. But they MADE SURE that he got a good education.

    “Of course they do [accept responsibility]. When they do bad they fill up the prisons. Women on the other hand, when they do bad, they get WIC. Stop playin. ”

    Going to jail does not mean that you have accepted responsibility, or even that you saw the correlation between your inprisonment and your behavior. The prisons are full of men who think that they are in jail purely because of racism — and their decision to smoke, sell, or make crack had nothing to do with it.

    “The black community and black women dont support black men. Like I have said many times before there are two types of black men and boys who recieve “support” in the community. I often refer to them as “runners.” If you arent running from the police or running with a basketball or football as a black man you are persona non grate in the black community. ”

    African Americans are the only people who think that the women should be supporting and saving the men. This twisted thinking that we should be the primary or even sole protectors and providers has damaged everybody. A fully grown, mature man does not seek dependency or sympathy from women – he strives to support his family.

    “No there exist a HUGE social safety net for women and especially black women at every government level. You get pregnant you get all manner of support for being a strong single mother and huge wealth transfers from the tax payer to clean up the mess you made. Stop the lies. Black men have the prison or the military if he wants any governmental support. Black men cant just lay up on they back like black women/girls can.”

    Again, please try to stay on topic. The point was who is in COLLEGE. Black girls who are ‘laying up on the government’s dime with 20 kids’ are NOT the ones in the universities. Interesting that you believe that women get pregnant all by themselves.
    I was beginning to doubt that you are female, but I remembered how many poorly socialized females there are out there that continue to perpetuate this kind of insane thinking.

  • Coolin

    Black men aren’t up to par….no surprise there.

    I’m a black woman and I simply don’t see this as MY problem and I’m sick of everyone trying to make this black women’s problem. As far as I’m concerned any and all issues black MEN have are black MEN’s problems. Stop trying to put this ish on black women’s backs and stop trying to guilt trip us with the nonsense of “helping our brothers.”

    F “our” brothers. These “men” (and I use the term loosely) are no brothers of mine.

    It’s about time black women treat them with the SAME indifference they have given black women over the years. It’s been a long time coming and from the other comments I’m reading on here from other black women I’m not alone in feeling that way. Thank GOD the great awakening is happening with today’s generation of black women.

    It’s not black women, white men or society’s job to get black men to value education. If they are too stupid, ignorant whatever to see the benefits of a good education in today’s world then I say the hell with them. LET them continue to fall through the cracks.

    And to the guy that tried to put this ish off on black women as if black men are children that need to led by the hand step off!

    How dare you twist your mouth to talk about black men wanting to be leaders in one sentence and then talk about how black men won’t improve because black women don’t value educated black men in the next.

    If black MEN are supposed to be leaders then they should be more than capable of THINKING and DOING for themselves WITHOUT the influence of others. It’s just said and pathetic that you cannot see the contradiction in your thinking. Essentially you are saying men are ruled by women….well how the hell can said men be leaders if that is the case?????????

    I’m done!

  • Si No Da

    I was waiting for the legendary rebuttals from @Diadem and she came up flat… This is why women should not lead in any form or capacity… Just take orders from capable men and follow them perfectly

  • Coolin

    @Si No Da

    And the problem is those capable men (read: BLACK men) seem to be damn near non-existent.

    Truth is black women have more heart (i.e., courage) and sense than black men. And I think this is the reason why so many black men (and women) look to black women to lead black men out of their piss poor state…as if they are children. These people KNOW black men don’t measure up…not even when it comes to getting THEMSELVES together.

    If women aren’t fit to lead why don’t you and the other brainless folks on this site STOP burdening these women with the duty of getting the MEN on par. Because essentially you ARE asking/telling them to take the lead to get black men on track.

    It’s a damn shame that black men were their most prosperous when some racist white man was standing over them. Maybe revisiting the plantation will help, eh? Pathetic.

  • QofThecastle

    @JerseyGirl

    Im becoming a bit frustrated with you delibrately ignoring what I am saying.

    He chose not to complete his education. He chose not to ensure his future. Trust me, with the drop out rates at 50%, I can guarantee mommy isnt advocating for her son to go through life without proper qualifications.”

    If your sons education is met with indifference than she doesnt have to advocate against it. What is up with black mothers treating children like house plants. Give them a bit of water, put them in the sun and they are meant to flourish?

    “Also, Im still wondering how women prevent men from accomplishing achievements. Without a high school diploma, a person still has the opportunity to work, provide for self and family. So what is the excuse? It doesnt matter what Im doing or saying, a man should be a man and take control of his life. Bm tend to make excuses until their end of days.”

    Stop it. These men were once boys. I love how black women like to pretend that black boys dont exist. They love to talk about black men so they can cluck their beaks about what they dont owe men. Never wanting to talk about black boys because black boys are in fact owed something. The vast majority of undergrads at university are between the ages of 17-24. These people are still supported by their parents. Stop acting like we are talking about 35 year old black men at university. You aint slick. Black women will out source her parenting to the streets, the courts, the county, the government, the schools etc.

  • QofThecastle

    @Diadem

    And the black community is the only community who puts their male children on the back burner. Name one society on planet earth that doesnt invest heavily in the male children? They do that because they appreciate the role males have to play in society. But the black community, being ran by women and butt backwards does the opposite of what has been done since time immemorial, then they wonder what happened.

    Did nobody ask you what you owe to black men. Thats a straw man you keep erecting so you can easily knock it down. We are talking about black men in university. Firstly most men in undergrad are still being supported by their parents between the ages of 17-24.. In functioning communities that is. Not the black community. Most of these men were groomed as children to go to university. Now lets talk about what black women OWE to black BOYS! i hear a pin dropping.

  • QofThecastle

    @Coolin

    “Truth is black women have more heart (i.e., courage) and sense than black men. And I think this is the reason why so many black men (and women) look to black women to lead black men out of their piss poor state…as if they are children.”

    Its really easy to be courageous with tax payers money. No one is asking black women to lead black men anywhere. All we ask is that if you choose to pass a child through your vaginal canal, you raise them up properly.

  • QofThecastle

    @JerseyGirl

    Asking more stupid questions I see. You know most fathers who dont live with the mother of their children play more of a visiting role in their lives. These men often dont live very close, have to work, can only come by on the weekend, moms got a new boyfriend, she goes off to live some place else, he has other children, etc. Weekend fatherhood isnt going to work. If black women INSIST on having children out of wedlock, she needs to understand that it isnt reasonably possible for a man who doesnt live with her to play in equal role in parenting. Does that make sense to you teacher?

    Having said that, there are important benefits from having RESIDENTIAL fathers. One of those things are educational outcomes. Now if your suggestion is for black fathers to begin living with the mother of his children then I just may fall over.

  • CanadianChick

    Im with you. Men are suppose to lead. No one wants a baby who blames others for their problems. No one wants a boy pretending the be a man who cant get ahead. Ladies, do what I did…leave black men alone. Date and marry men of other races who know how to handle their business. Who dont blame their mothers, who dont blame their baby mamas, who dont blame women they have never met, who work out and provide, who know how to love because they saw loving homes, who were raised with both mommy and daddy, who dont have prison records and can get work, who dont have back child support that you may have to pay someday…who dont have mothers like QofTheCastle sticking up for their nonsense…keep it moving…

  • JerseyGirl

    I feel bad that life has dealt you a bad one. It is clear you are an angry, bitter soul. You seem to not only sweat me, but everyone on this site. May you find peace and I really mean that. May God bless you and yours.

  • Coolin

    @QofThecastle

    I suggest you re-read the comments from the “men” on this post. They ARE in fact asking black women to take the lead.

    Next, the majority of black women are not mooching off the government. Please get your facts straight and come up with a better argument. You keep mentioning the taxpayers as if your are actually a taxpayer in this country. I’m willing to bet you are NOT.

    Last but not least, I sure hope you drop this “raise your child properly” argument on the doorsteps of the sperm donors of these children. After all that seems to be the missing element here. Black boys need black male role models? Cool…get to it ninjas!

    If black women have abandoned black boys I would say it was just a matter of time before the women got the hell out of dodge like the men. Who can blame them? They are doing a job that was meant for TWO (not one) people. I don’t think anyone with knowledge of the situation can blame those women for finally saying F-IT!

  • Diadem

    @QofThecastle

    Good Lord, do you even know what the word “owe” means?

    Black women and girls “owe” black men and boys nothing — because to “OWE” something, they must first have been GIVEN SOMETHING from the person that you supposedly owe. For example, if I LEND you $50, you owe me $50 + interest. Simple!

    Exactly what has been given to black women and girls from black men and boys? Support? Nope. Finance? Nope. Encouragement? Child, please.

    Only backward thinking, silly black women can’t understand basic logic like this. Women like you park on blogs for black women, downplay every accomplishment that black women make (‘the gub’ment gave you dat’) , you blame black women for their negative circumstances (‘dumb hos should keep day legs closed’), yet magnify the accomplishments of black men and absolve them from any part they played in their own negative circumstances.

    You are a gatekeeper and a liability to the race. Thiscultish thinking that has led generations of black women into bondage must end. If there is no reciprocity in giving, then black women don’t OWE anybody a damn thing.

    It’s time to stop communications with people who spread this nonsense. You are welcome to continue ‘saving’ people who don’t want to be led by women, are indifferent to you, or might even despise you. Meanwhile, I will be thriving with my own family.

  • RC

    i have an example to give the men in here……
    don’t know how many of you have seen the biggie bio-pic, but anyways……
    his mother, Mrs. Wallace, did everything she could to raise her son right, yet he still chose the street life (selling drugs, etc.). Luckily for him, he eventually became a well known musical artist, but how many black boys are honestly going to make it big like biggie ???? not very many….
    i say that all just to reiterate that the environment a lot black boys grow up in doesn’t push for education, and sadly a lot of black boys aren’t on-board with education because of it.
    but still……….. there’s been an over-abundance of women on campus compared to men for quite some time……… why is this so important ?

  • Pema

    Such anger and bitterness on this site. It’s really a shame.

    As for the lack of black boys in college it boils down to poor parenting…nothing more, nothing less. Most of these boys probably grew up in a single parent household without a father and a woman really cannot raise a son on her own. There is no answer to it, no government program is going to solve this. Black men and women need to start taking more responsibility for their children and the future of their families.

  • Mikela123

    @QofTheCastle

    You keep conflating race and class. Women who accept government money are working poor and poor women, whose children, regardless of sex, are probably not making it to college to begin with. And to many other issues to contend with beyond Black women’s issues that you believe is the problem.

  • isolde

    “Only backward thinking, silly black women can’t understand basic logic like this. Women like you park on blogs for black women, downplay every accomplishment that black women make (‘the gub’ment gave you dat’) , you blame black women for their negative circumstances (‘dumb hos should keep day legs closed’), yet magnify the accomplishments of black men and absolve them from any part they played in their own negative circumstances.”

    ______________________________________

    @Diadem

    I’m getting drunk off all this true tea your serving. (Tea Party over here! Tea Party over there!)

    C:\Users\Owner\AppData\Local\Microsoft\Windows\Temporary Internet Files\Content.IE5\992BCVMD\march-hare-directs-teapots_o_GIFSoup.com.gif

  • isolde
  • https://twitter.com/#!/TheKMichel K. Michel

    It’s really not that hard to figure out why African-American men are a “distinct minority” at HBCU’s and college in general… but I won’t offer my thoughts.

    I’m sure I speak for many when I say that this comment section has been nothing short of an absolute embarrassment. Enjoy yourselves.

  • village

    I agree. But the female bloggers and commentors on this site seem to be overwhelmingly pro single parent. On one thread they will back single parenthood and belittle those who oppose it. On another thread they will blame single parenthood for our community’s ills. Women can not raise men. But somehow many of the single, independant, college educated women who visit this site seem to think they are the exception to the rule.They think their money, world knowledge, and education will replace their child’s need for a father.

  • Pema

    Well I’ve never been a proponent of single parenthood. We are now seeing the affect of mass single parenthood in the black community and it will only get worse. The reality is most boys wil only listen to their mothers for so long. Why do you think “Momma’s boy” is such a derisive phrase?

    @ K. Michel below:

    I agree. If I didn’t know any better I’d think most of these comments were written by members of the Klan.

  • Viviane

    It is hard for me to believe that people say that the reason many black men are so ill-equipped to navigate their way through school and business (and life itself from an overall perspective) is because their single mothers “didn’t raise them right”.

    Did these sistas become pregnant through immaculate conception? The father (a black man), who has left the scene, escapes blame in this twisted logic?

    I agree with those that say it takes a good man to raise a good man. It happens that a woman can raise a boy to be a good man and a productive citizen, but it doesn’t happen very often, and all of us know this is the truth.

    Someone else said it on another post on this blog months ago…fathers have been riding their sons hard, teaching them right from wrong, teaching them responsibility, teaching them to respect women, showing them how a man goes to work every day and provides for his family, etc and they’ve been doing that for thousands of years. It’s a system that WORKS.

    But that’s not the way we do it in the black American community, and you can see the awful results everywhere you look. It is no wonder that black American women are now taking a good hard look at black men from other cultures and non-black men as potential mates. We just don’t want our sons to be caught up in the same vicious cycle of chronic under-achievement, excuse-making and immaturity that black American men exhibit.

  • Si No Da

    @Diadem @Coolin

    BW every single day SHOW us, what kind of BM they like to follow, by a landslide… The men who are in a position to make any significant change in the BC are not supported & go to other communities to thrive… Your kind are enablers…

    Unfortunately, black boys are at the mercy of incompetent BW…

    It is one thing if there all BM were no good… It is another when women purposely get with no good men and then expect those men and their progeny to succeed in life…

    I wish I had solutions but all of us are going to have to find our way out of this sh*thole our recent predecessors passed down to us…

    Nice to hear @QoNC put it down from a woman’s perspective…

    SSTTE

  • village

    @Si No Da

    I sadly admit that what you stated is the truth. Too many women choose men who are not responsible to father their children. This does not only happen in the hood, but I know many, too many college educated women who have children with these men. And continue to deal with men who are not on their level. Yes, I said on their level. With that being said, how do black girls born to these circumstances rise above this but black boys cant?
    And I have to say the excuse that women didnt know that he was a deadbeat is bs.

  • CaliDreaming86

    “Too many women choose men who are not responsible to father their children.”

    Why are there so many men, who when faced with the responsibility of parenthood, turn their back on their kids to begin with?

    How are women to know that these men will behave this way? We as people, learn that some people are bad after we have dealt with them extensively.

    It’s no different than men claiming women only date ‘bad boys’. I mean, why are so many men bad to begin with?

  • village

    @ Cali

    I believe black men are given an unspoken pass. In our community single parenthood is the norm. If we mention the problems single mother homes present, “our leaders”, feminists, etc will come out in full force telling us not to judge; insisting that single mothers are the backbone of our community; and that black men are being railroaded. Too many WOMEN advocate their right to not have thier womb judged regardless of how it has negatively affected us.

    “Why are there so many men, who when faced with the responsibility of parenthood, turn their back on their kids to begin with?”

    Because we, us WOMEN give them passes (and the weak ones choose to bounce). We tell them they dont have to marry us nor take care of us (“Im a strong, independant woman, I dont need a man”) then we a surprised when they many of them move on. Also, being a deadbeat dad doesnt halt their lives. Women – educated, poor, dumb, young and old continue to choose these men. It’s to the point now where bw are taking care of men. For many bw, they can live under a bw’s roof and not contribute. And who sees this…her kids. Please dont deny that this is happening all to often now.

    You have to admit, these single mothers arent raising head of households. How can our boys be expected to lead, protect, and maintain a family when they only saw mommy doing it. Im a woman and I believe that women have largely contributed to this. We have to choose better specimen of men. Those with multiple children, prison records, poor educations should not be on our radar. Those who cant committ to you will surely not commit to your child. We have to demand better. This includes dating men of other races.

  • QofThecastle

    @Calidreaming86

    “Why are there so many men, who when faced with the responsibility of parenthood, turn their back on their kids to begin with?”

    But that isnt the case. However if you decide as a woman to have a child by a non residential man, especially one you are not married, or worse, one who already has children, you arent going to get much juice out that squeeze. Lets assume that this man is a good guy. He still has to work, he still has to maintain his own roof over his head, and if he has other children he still has to spend time with them. You almost guarantee your children a part time parent when you make the idiotic decision to have children by that type of guy. The myth of the dead beat black father is just that, a myth.

    “How are women to know that these men will behave this way? We as people, learn that some people are bad after we have dealt with them extensively.”

    Whatever happened to women’s intuition. Black women are meant to be the engines of the black community. We’re smarter than everyone, got more money, got more sense, and according to some, got more courage yet we are being hoodwinked by they scum of the earth i.e. black men?

    Black Women here is a list of men you probably shouldnt let impregnate you:

    Men who already have children (these men dont have enough time between all his other responsibilities to be a full time parent to the seed you have together.)
    Men who are in and out of prison
    Men who sell drugs
    Men who are chronically unemployed or under employed
    Men who abuse substances
    Men who are in gangs
    Men who look unemployable

    “I mean, why are so many men bad to begin with?”

    You would think there were a bunch of bad boys running around but there are actually very few bad boys that exist in the black community. However because of the desire for a bad boy by some women, they have harems of women while better men go single.

  • QofThecastle

    @Village

    Can I just say that this idea that there are a bunch of black women taking care of black men is a farce spread by a bunch of thirsty sistas who literally cant do better than some bum brotha.

    The facts are if you are a woman with high value in the sexual market place you can get more out of a man than a woman who has low value in the sexual market place.

    If you are young and attractive and (fingers crossed) childless, you arent taking care of no man. None whatsoever. You have all the cards. However black women kick themselves in the butt by not maintaining an edge in the sexual market place. Our rates of obesity, our poor mannerisms, our children out of wedlock, our poor cosmetic choices, decreases what value we may have in the sexual market place so much so that we have to use our resources to court men because what made us valuable, we have squandered. No man wants to marry a woman like that. We have become unmarriageable. Other women have been able to keep their edge longer, and when they dont, they go to bum brothas just like the sistas who dont keep their edge in the sexual market place.

  • QofThecastle

    @village

    “With that being said, how do black girls born to these circumstances rise above this but black boys cant?”

    Apparently they didnt rise above their circumstances if, even when college educated, they continue making these monumental mistakes. And lets be real, if going to university is considered rising above the circumstances, there disparity between black men and black women isnt that huge. Black women seem perfect on paper if she is going to constantly compare herself to black men who are apparently at the bottom. We wouldnt dare compare ourselves to white or Asian women.

  • QofThecastle

    I have to admit this topic produced more heat than light. I went off the rails a bit because when I see black children being attacked, in this case it was black boys, I went a bit crazy.

    I feel sorry for the black boys who are surrounded by black women like these. I wish they would give them up for adoption, perhaps to concerned white women.

  • AustralianGirl

    lol, QofThecastle you’re just a troll. Nothing more.

  • Liz

    Wow…what a statement. You seriously disgust me at times Qon, and I know nothing about you but what you write in the comment section of a blog.

  • HowApropos

    QofM is a troll and a man…

  • HowApropos

    Good for you, Mammy!

    Go put that cape on, get the h3LL outta this thread and go rescue them po black boys!

    Only a good dog like you can save the day, right?

    Men like you are pathetic. Posing as a thirsty azz black woman at that.

    Go tell your beloved black males to stay home and raise their sons, or keep it in their pants.

    But we all know you won’t do tthat.

    Bashing black women is a much better rout to take than to question why your masters can’t possibly get it together to raise their sons.

    Pathetic and weak.

  • QofThecastle

    @Liz

    I dont give a dam how disgusted you are. The state of black boys, their future, their well being is more important than your feelings.

  • Regina

    Links31, you can’t even string together a couple of coherent sentences, and she’s the idiot? Give me a break.

    All she did was point out the it’s black women who are left behind to deal with the children out of wedlock when the birth father takes a powder. They do the best they can, by themselves, to raise these boys who have been cast aside by their fathers, but most of the time, it’s just not good enough. Black, white, Asian, Hispanic, whatever: it’s hard for a woman to make a boy into a responsible, well-adjusted, productive man. Since our current black men seem to excel at these hit-and-run pregnancies, our community gets a lot of bastard black boys raised only by their mothers, and those black boys left behind by their birth fathers then turn into their birth fathers, that is, no-account men, It’s a self-fulfilling cycle. The only way out of it, the only way to break this cycle is to mate with and marry men from outside the native-born black community here in the U.S.

  • Regina

    Links31, you just need to do what black men do all the time, just run and hide. Duck your responsibilities, grumble about dem mean sistas “not lettin you be men”, whine about the white man keeping you down, and boast about how you can sex a woman real good. Do what you do best. Take off, make yourself scarce.

    My goodness, how did God saddle us with such weak, impotent men?

  • http://theaccidentalnatural.wordpress.com Urbansista

    I’m honestly embarrassed by this discussion. We act as if there is only one side to blame when OUR children don’t become successful adults. Children don’t raise themselves. Their parents – some good and some bad – and their environment mold these kids. A lot of Black children – boys and girls – are ill-equipped to go any further than their block because their parents haven’t instilled the importance and value of education. Why? Most times because those same parents don’t value education. Add to that the bad teachers who are quite happy to throw Black children into special education. Combine that with parents who couldn’t give a damn and what do you have? Children who become the men and women that we are constantly bashing. It’s not an excuse – it is fact.

    The people who say they don’t care about Black men – remember this: these men were once boys who, most likely, someone didn’t care about. These boys are going to grow up to knock you down in the street and steal from you because they don’t have proper jobs. They will be the ones that will impregnate those little girls, who are now women with no self-esteem, and will not raise their sons to be any better than they are. This will continue to be the Black community. And we will continue to condemn this cycle. These men aren’t your responsibility, but when it’s you or your family member who gets shot in the crossfire, you best believe you will care.

    When did we get so hateful to one another? When did we start thinking like this? And we wonder why we can’t do any better? Some of us are doing great, but the vast majority of Black people around the globe aren’t doing so great. No, I’m not saying that you have to be responsible for grown people and I’m not saying that people don’t have a responsibility to themselves, but let’s not be callous. Let’s not dismiss the issues and boil a complex problem down to something as basic as Black men ain’t sh*t.

  • Duh

    Oh BW REALLY MEAN is that there are not enough tall and muscular brothers on these campuses. ‘Cause we know they are giving those short brothers a shot…maybe they should…

  • Donald K Sumner

    I agree with a previous poster what these BW are really complaining about is the shortage of TALL/athletic/gangster/thug/bad boy/player/swag boy/TALL BM on these campuses. I be even with the higher percentages of BW to BM the short BM ain’t getting NO LOVE!

  • too jaded

    Links31:

    Yeah, ask their mother. Cause their daddy is long gone and you can’t ask him anything.

    You have to laugh about this to keep from crying, you really do.

  • Si No Da

    @Village…

    Good post.

    1. As a BM, I am all for BW dating non-black men… But that doesn’t mean sh*t if they are not men of quality (a man that takes care of his children). He really doesn’t have to treat her well, because women will put up with an attractive abuse man. Real talk

    2. BW can date whomever, just take responsibility for their choices & leave black sons & daughter out of the equation. Simple.

    I understand the ignorance, and I understand that black men need to take accountibility, but BM have been & will continue to be convenient scapegoats for this education/productivity issue.

    SSTTE

  • notCAMERAshy

    There arent that many short brothers at HBCU. Too many bm dont attend university period.

  • Liz

    And your constant negativity and attacks against the women who birthed them…help black boys and men…how exactly?

    Don’t respond. It’s going to be the same old story with you. I hope you’re emboldened by the anonymity of the internet, and you aren’t really like this in real life. Disgusting.

  • AustralianGirl

    @HowApropos, exactly. QoN is a troll and a man – i figured this out a long time ago.

  • linda

    @LINKS31:
    I keep hearing from people that Black women choose too many no good Black men
    and that is the reason the black community is messed up. That is really interesting because most anywhere you go in the world with a sizeable number of Black people you get the same story :Black women alone,working their hands off to provide for their children,some manage to raise successful children,some dont.Oh and the black men are usually MIA;and its not just Black women>the children of black men all over the world whether the mother is Black or not are suffering because of BLACK MEN!!!Black men abandon their black children and their bi-racial children.

    So I’m wondering: Are 10%of no good Black men traveling the world impregnating women, Black(and other) or are there alot of no good Black men in the world?

    Black men are messed up the world over.Anywhere you go and Black men are in charge ,it is a mess.

    All Black women can do is to save themselves and cut their losses-MARRY OUT! How many more generations of Black girls and boys must go through this? Nothing in life is guaranteed but Black women can change this if they wanted to.

  • Si On Da

    @Linda

    I agree… what is taking BW so long

  • Well Well

    You KNOW what he said is TRUE!

  • Well Well

    Links I support you brother what you said is so true, it is almost the default…

  • linda

    @Si On Da:
    Exactly! Atleast here in America:Black women go their own way and Black men go their own way.I dont know what Black women are waiting for either.

  • bestseller

    @Linda

    Go to the UK and you will see the same situation regarding black men and the abandonment of their children. Regardless, if the mother is black or white, most likely that child was borm oow. And he is MIA.

  • too jaded

    So let me get this straight: The seventy percent (plus) black children that are born to single unwed black mothers every year are fathered by the small percentage of black men that are gang members, are “non-residential”, sell drugs, are unemployable, are sexually promiscuous, etc.

    I have to then assume that when black women stop being foolish and stop letting these bad black men between their legs, that the birth rate for black babies will fall by 70%, right? And, going by the logic being presented by these black men (and the black men pretending to be black women) on this blog, I must also assume that the marriage rate of black women that get pregnant will be close to 100%, since all the good black men that want to do the right thing will now get their shot at these black women that were previously so entranced by all of these bad black men previously.

    Going by what these good black men are saying here, both of those scenarios, the drop in the birth rate, and the near 100% marriage rate for black women who do give birth, both of these outcomes are a lock if we black women would just only spread our legs for these good black men.

    None of this seems far-fetched, does it? Yeah, I can definitely see this becoming reality.

  • Pema

    Come on now, it takes two to tango both men and women are to blame. There is such a thing as birth control. I just can’t feel that sorry for black single mothers (and no I don’t feel sorry for irresponsible black men but I do have sympathy for all children). If you’re so educated, so independent and so opinionated go get some darn birth control. Condoms are sold at every drug store. Problem solved. Take responsibility for your own life because as unfair as it is we all know the woman will most likely be the primary provider for that baby if the couple isn’t married. I know too many black women who did not have children until they were married to accept this weak excuse. I didn’t even have my first child until 5 years into my marriage.

    It is pure arrogance and naivete to think that you can easily raise a child on your own but for some reason black women are the only women out there who believe this en masse.

  • ruggie

    @Urbansista – a lot of what you said struck a raw nerve; we need to listen up.

  • HowApropos

    @ Links and Pema:

    Soooooo, black males are too stupid to practice safe sex or just leave his dikk in his pants? Black males are just stupid all around and need to have their hands held through life?

    Sick of these excuses and passing the buck when it’s convenient.

    You don’t want a kid, wrap it up.

    You don’t like the chick, why are you having sex with her?

    The choice is on black males too.

  • LemonNLime

    “I personally stop all association to black women for a good year now and my life have not been better.”

    Then why are you on a site geared toward black women? Clearly you haven’t stopped all association considering you are trolling this site.

  • LemonNLime

    Typically I would take the time to site why each on of your arguments are wrong, for example this little nugget of joy, “The black man has never invaded no country, the black man have never placed an entire race of people into slavery, the black man have never oppressed his women who to his heart is the Queen of his universe, the black man have never denied basic human rights…”. Hell, all one has to do is go to wikipedia and pull up any numerous article about African history siting the numerous inter-tribal wars to prove that statement false.

    Or I might show you how hypocritical it is for you, I’m assuming a black man, to say that black men never “told the black woman that she is ugly, undesirable, and have taught her to hate her damn self ” why you just did the thing you claim black men never do in a previous paragraph, “I rather deal with the ugliest woman on this planet than to deal with a self hating self righteous spiteful vindictive, hard masculine attitudinal, 80% weave wearing, almost 75% obese can’t lift a frying pan to save her dear life, but can lift a horse tail hair extension to put in her hair black woman anyday.”

    Nope that would be just too easy. So I am just going to leave it alone and thank GOD I don’t associate with crazy better “men” like yourself. I seriously might want to talk to someone if you have this much hatred and bitterness in your heart. Have a nice day :)

  • LemonNLime

    *crazy bitter “men”

  • LemonNLime

    Well if the hatred and bitterness that you spew is any example of you “constructive criticism”, I’m surprised it isn’t met with more than just resistance.

    I doubt that you have had an opportunity to met the vast majority of black women. Maybe the ones you are associating with are just as toxic and negative as yourself. Toxic people tend to attract other toxic people. But for you to believe that every black woman out there is basically a mash-up of 60 minutes of Maury, RHOA, and the Black in America series is just as bad as those women who site that all black men are this or that based off of what they see in the media and in there immediate existence.

    Either way you are entitled to believe what you want but that bitterness, hatred, and let’s face it, hurt, that you seem to be carrying around is not healthy mentally or physically. That is a lot to have weighing on you and venting about bitterly to a bunch of women online you have never met won’t life the burden. You are not going to be able to control the actions and thoughts of others, including all the things that make you bitter and angry, but you can control what how you carry yourself and how you let that craziness affect you. Don’t sink down to the level of the crazies, who more often than not have healed from past hurt and don’t allow themselves to see the good outside their immediate world view.

    But hey that is just me!

  • Socially Maladjusted

    meh

    You both sound full of bitterness anger and pain.

    serves you right for choong wickedness instead human decency,

    and that applies whether you both really are black or something not black.

  • LemonNLime

    @Socially Maladjusted – If you got bitterness or pain out of anything that I wrote, then I would like to suggest that you work on your reading skills and then re-evaluate the conversation above.

  • Is No Ad

    1. Those single moms need to date the men that will accept them… “good” BM do not have to marry up single black mothers or any other women who ride the Th*g-c**k carousel. You owe it to your children to help them not repeat your mistake.

    2. The marriage rates will not be solved just by “good” black men doing anything… “Good” Black men need to hook up with “good” women period. There is no incentive for any western man with resources to get married in 2012. But the baby making factory needs to shut down regardless who is sleeping with who. Resources not marriage is where kids should come into play.

    3. Stop ducking the fact that BW make poor dating choices… Clu-tch needs to break that topic down in-depth, and promote better dating choices among young Western BW… Rather than talk about the ray rays you love to reproduce children with

  • Socially Maladjusted

    lemonnlime

    “If you got bitterness or pain out of anything that I wrote, then I would like to suggest that you work on your reading skills and then re-evaluate the conversation above.”

    Ok

    checking my reading skils now

    aye bee sea deep eek eff off

    nope

    lmao!

    I read superbly

    you just sound anry bitter and full of pain.

    ;-)

  • Native Gear

    I agree with what Links is saying. Besides, water seeks out its own level. If the man you slept with was a good for nothing bastard, then you as well are a good for nothing female. You only mingle with those within your same “class”. Whatever you put out is what you get in return. “Birds of a feather flock together”. That’s why I think it’s quite funny that so many females like to call out their children’s father. You’re just mad that you were stuck with the child. Referring to these irresponsible men you opened your legs to as “useless”, and “good for nothing”, only speaks volumes of yourself. How much does birth control cost again??? LOL

  • Native Gear

    @Links

    I, and many others, understand you. Don’t bother going back and forth with some of these women. Many are two-dimensional thinkers and fail to reason with sense. Most modern day black women only care about themselves, so don’t even bother. There are still some decent black women who care about black men and the community as a whole, but they are not in the US….

  • linda

    @Q or *eshowoman*

    I didnt know you replied to me and I had to respond because some of your statements are laughable:

    “I am a woman and feminine”(giggles).
    I would sell my soul and eat my finger nail clippings to provide for all the young Black men out here(paraphrasing)(giggles) and etc with all your idiot ramblings.

    I am nobody’s mother so whatever I do with my money is my businesss.
    If you were about helping young men you would be about it not on the internet picking fights with Black women.BE ABOUT IT and not just running your mouth.SO get to it-invite all the struggling young men to your home and homeschool them.

    FYI:again Black men do not want Black women like you.Trust me.They run from Black women like you because all this ass kissing of Black men is BS and they know it, so good luck with that.

  • http://youreratchet.blogspot.com Young Heaux

    I went to a PWI, but of course it’s hard for black men to attend school when you’re getting harassed by cops IN and OUTSIDE school, and other types of bs.

  • HowApropos

    Honey, get the hayell on and don’t come back…

    …and take your foreign mammies like Native gear with you.

  • HowApropos

    Excuses, excuses, excuses….

  • Donronnie

    After many, many years of trying my hardest to find love within ‘our’ community, I have started to finally see things in terms of what is really going on.

    I have worked diligently to love, value, cooperate with, and support Black women throughout my life up to this point. Unfortunately, I have, to date, been unable to find one that reciprocates these efforts on her own part. I am not baller-thug quality, and certainly not perfect in any way, and am not looking for anyone who thinks she is. But I am unwilling to continue being asked to bear what seems the sole responsibility for making a relationship between two people work.

    I am sure that there will always be someone who says that I haven’t done enough, tried hard enough, grown enough as a person or overcome enough hardship somehow become worthy of a Black Queen. I am certain that there will also be some who remind me for not being wary of ‘our’ historical oppressors. All I can say to them is that I’m out of time to worry about such things.

    Black men lack the luxury of being able to wait an eternity to perfect their ‘game’ if marriage and children are on the agenda. Meanwhile, I have spent what may have been the best years of my life so focused on angry sista’s that I find myself woefully behind on the social and personal acceptance of other women who approach me.

    So, for once, when a real lady-regardless of cultural origin-approaches me respectfully in a decent fashion, I will do more than quietly demur, waiting on someone that may never arrive. I’m taking THIS someone up on her offer, and try spending some time enjoying someone who might be interested in building something real.

  • JoyceAfrican

    I have no idea what this is about or why it happens and I won’t try to figure it out. These are men’s issues and they can only be solved by men.

    Perhaps starting with the fathers of these boys?

  • Pema

    @HowApropose

    Read my statement again. I said it takes two to tango both black men and women are to blame. However most women who aren’t total idiots or idealistic and naive know that the burden of child rearing tends to rest on the shoulders of the woman and this is true across all races. That’s not an excuse it’s a basic biological reality. Take care of yourselves ladies.

  • Donald K Sumner

    True that brother! If BW were not SOOOOO concerned about HEIGHT, they would have more BM to choose from…

  • HowApropos

    Long gone for the black woman to take care of his issues…

  • HowApropos

    My bad, Pema.

    My response still stands for Links. Sounds like a weak black male projecting onto others.

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