My Perfect Vulva


As a teenager, I used to sit with my legs propped open with a mirror slightly tilted to see the surroundings of my vagina. My vulva, with its fading colors and distinct black mark right beside my vaginal opening, looks like God wisped the colors of earth together and signed Her name with a dash of black ink. Lips parted, I’d look at the skin overlaying my opening, slightly scrunched up and poking out at places. And I’d wonder if my vulva were normal with its ranging color palette and unique skin canvas. My vulva wasn’t porn star material or really the sexiest piece of anatomy to look at. But she was mine, sculpted in my mother’s womb just for me. And I made a decision to grow to love her, regardless of whether she was “normal” or similar to other women’s vulvas.

I recognize that many women are scared or uninterested in examining their most intimate lady parts. It’s easier to simply wash and wipe our vaginal areas or spread our legs for our lovers, without personally taking an in depth look. To take our fingers, peel back our layers, and touch ourselves, even just for examination purposes, can feel awkward or sinful. But to carry a body part with you that has the potential to push out life, deliver back-arching pleasure, and serve as a reminder of your womanhood, calls for you to get to know your perfection.

Our vulvas are perfect: lips longer or shorter, openings looser or tighter, and colors darker or lighter. It’s the one piece of anatomy, apart from our breasts, that ties us together as female. And yet, it’s a body part in which no two women look the same. Our vulvas are physical metaphors for the diversity in womanhood, and embracing our individual uniqueness is the challenge that calls for us to stand.

As more women sign up to have plastic surgery done on their vulvas, there are also more women putting aside vulnerability and fighting for us to celebrate our vulvas’ individualities. It’s empowerment that’s not necessarily sexual but rather rooted in body wisdom and self-confidence.

The core of “vulva empowerment” proposes:

  • While our vulvas don’t define us, they are part of us, and something to be examined, honored, and appreciated.
  • There is no universal perfect vulva. Perfection has many forms, and it’s up to you to claim your vaginal “art” as perfectly yours.
  • Sex should never entail the degradation of your vulva or vagina. Your partner should reinforce your perfection and remind you of your beauty as a whole.

While it may sound like a bit much, I’d like to encourage more women to visually and sensually get back in touch with what’s between their legs. It’s a key part of our health, both physically and spiritually, and it’s an opportunity to empower our bodies with more than just sex. If you already love your vulva, that’s wonderful and let this be a reminder to continue on that journey. But if you’re struggling to find its beauty, scared to see its reflection, and get personal, let this be encouragement.

How do you feel about your vulva? And when is the last time you took a real look at your anatomical greatness? Speak on it!

  • apple

    men up in here on a WOMAN’S SITE calling vaginas ugly/wide/whatever and slut shaming but they get to walk around with their lopsided, vein riddled,discolored, over sided mushrooms freely…

    go to hell and off this site

  • Michael Lewis

    I love complimenting my lady on her vulva and other body parts. She is so beautiful and I know for a fact she is my gift from God. She is my treasure in every way and I’m not ashamed to be complimentary to her on all her body parts. We have been dating just over a year now and being a man senior by ten years in age to her, I always think her for loving me. I’ve learned that if she has confidence in herself because of feeling good about herself…. I’m the lucky one who benefits from her joy. It doesn’t get any better than that!!!

  • Jean

    Wow. Really? I hope no one on here actually believes this nonsense. A woman is born with the vulva she has. “miles” have nothing to do with it. As a man, I’m kind of sick of explaining this BS to other men… It’s just even more unfortunate that I now find myself explaining it to women as well.

    So here goes:
    Having an innie or an outie, large labia minora or small, loose looking or tight and tucked in, has NOTHING to do with how many guys you’ve slept with, or how many times you’ve slept with one guy. I slept with an ex of mine over 2,000 times in the course of four years. Did her pussy look like she slept with 2,000 men? Because sleeping with me or 2,000 men each just one time is the same thing. It’s 2,000 dicks. And I don’t have a small johnson either. It looked EXACTLY THE SAME when we broke up as it did when we started dating, when she was a virgin.

    I’ve slept with my current girlfriend at least 500 times, and it’s the same story. I’ve slept with 22 women in the past 14 years (and yes, I know all of their names), and I swear to you women on this board, their pussies looked completely different from one to the next. Some had a lot of sexual experience, and a couple had no sexual experience, and the experience had nothing to do with how their pussies looked, or even WHAT THEY FELT LIKE. Sheesh. They are stretchy, beautiful, elastic organs. They return to the same level of tightness they had before sex within hours of having sex, and they don’t change in appearance with the number of partners a woman has had.

    Thank you for wasting my time. I wish I didn’t have to explain this to everyone, when you can so easily look it up yourself, or ask your doctor.


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