My Perfect Vulva

by Arielle Loren

As a teenager, I used to sit with my legs propped open with a mirror slightly tilted to see the surroundings of my vagina. My vulva, with its fading colors and distinct black mark right beside my vaginal opening, looks like God wisped the colors of earth together and signed Her name with a dash of black ink. Lips parted, I’d look at the skin overlaying my opening, slightly scrunched up and poking out at places. And I’d wonder if my vulva were normal with its ranging color palette and unique skin canvas. My vulva wasn’t porn star material or really the sexiest piece of anatomy to look at. But she was mine, sculpted in my mother’s womb just for me. And I made a decision to grow to love her, regardless of whether she was “normal” or similar to other women’s vulvas.

I recognize that many women are scared or uninterested in examining their most intimate lady parts. It’s easier to simply wash and wipe our vaginal areas or spread our legs for our lovers, without personally taking an in depth look. To take our fingers, peel back our layers, and touch ourselves, even just for examination purposes, can feel awkward or sinful. But to carry a body part with you that has the potential to push out life, deliver back-arching pleasure, and serve as a reminder of your womanhood, calls for you to get to know your perfection.

Our vulvas are perfect: lips longer or shorter, openings looser or tighter, and colors darker or lighter. It’s the one piece of anatomy, apart from our breasts, that ties us together as female. And yet, it’s a body part in which no two women look the same. Our vulvas are physical metaphors for the diversity in womanhood, and embracing our individual uniqueness is the challenge that calls for us to stand.

As more women sign up to have plastic surgery done on their vulvas, there are also more women putting aside vulnerability and fighting for us to celebrate our vulvas’ individualities. It’s empowerment that’s not necessarily sexual but rather rooted in body wisdom and self-confidence.

The core of “vulva empowerment” proposes:

  • While our vulvas don’t define us, they are part of us, and something to be examined, honored, and appreciated.
  • There is no universal perfect vulva. Perfection has many forms, and it’s up to you to claim your vaginal “art” as perfectly yours.
  • Sex should never entail the degradation of your vulva or vagina. Your partner should reinforce your perfection and remind you of your beauty as a whole.

While it may sound like a bit much, I’d like to encourage more women to visually and sensually get back in touch with what’s between their legs. It’s a key part of our health, both physically and spiritually, and it’s an opportunity to empower our bodies with more than just sex. If you already love your vulva, that’s wonderful and let this be a reminder to continue on that journey. But if you’re struggling to find its beauty, scared to see its reflection, and get personal, let this be encouragement.

How do you feel about your vulva? And when is the last time you took a real look at your anatomical greatness? Speak on it!

  • ♥Tea

    I ♥ my vulva, she is the so full of AwesomeSauce, lol. But seriously, the first time I saw my cervix at the gynecologist I was amazed and giggled a bit in spite of myself. I’ve looked at my vulva many times before. But seeing the inner workings that was a real wow moment. Loved this post, thanks!


    beautiful. i can’t even….
    just right on point

  • CaliDreaming86

    I don’t feel any one way about it and I look at it occasionaly.

  • Jayne Dirt

    l o v e this article!

  • Beautiful Mic

    Great article.

    It’s an area of my body that should get more ‘attention. Just a few weeks ago I did an exam ‘down there’ after so many years.

    My vulva is, actually, slightly lopsided due to a nasty, and extremely painful, fall I experienced as a child that also broke my hymen. The unevenness in my vulva is something that’s become more noticeable as I’ve gotten older and I am considering getting cosmetic surgery done to fix it.

  • womanistmusings

    I understand what you are saying and the importance of it because we live in a world in which women’s bodies are constructed as inherently filthy however this article was not without problems.

    Our vulvas are perfect: lips longer or shorter, openings looser or tighter, and colors darker or lighter. It’s the one piece of anatomy, apart from our breasts, that ties us together as female.

    This sentence is extremely cissexist. Not all women have vulva’s and that does not make them any less women. Citing the body as a unifier is actually divisive because it excludes some women. I think clarification that you were talking about cis women, would have gone a long way into lessening the exclusionary nature of what you were saying.

  • a star

    lovely when people get of topic, this was a brilliant post and suprise suprise someone had to see fault in it. sorry but not everyone feels that a person with a male body is a woman.


    Yeah…wtf…what woman doesn’t have a vulva? Sorry to break it to ya, but that’s ABNORMAL.

  • womanistmusings

    It’s hardly off topic on a post about women to mention trans women. Biology is not destiny nor does it encapsulate identity. A woman with a penis is still a woman regardless of your transphobic beliefs.

    In a world in which Black transwomen are constantly subjected to violence and have extremely high rates of death, you would think a website catering to Black women would make an effort to make sure the writing is inclusive. They are our sisters and don’t deserve to be excluded in this manner.


    If you werent born with a vagina then you’re a female transgender…not a woman,in my opinion.


    Sorry but transfemales are just that….transfemales. They are not women. Lol what did you expect her to write? “P.s. Shout out to all my girls without a vulva, we down for you!” ???

  • Ebony82

    Still hung up a little…

  • Pingback: » My Perfect Vulva Arielle Loren

  • Elle

    A very interesting topic. I think there are many things that each and every woman diverse. If you think about it no two woman have the same exact anatomy in any aspect really. From vulvas to body shapes to personalities and temperaments. It’s interesting that the vulva is singled out being that is such a taboo thing to speak on.

    I like my vulva, at one point I was self-conscience of it because it wasn’t tiny and tucked in like the ones you see on umm.. TV.. lol I’m a major body explorer maybe because I like being in tune with myself in all aspects or maybe because I just have too much time on my hands. I take my time when caring for my body hygienically. I like my vulva. I’ve never had a guy make a lewd comment about it. One guy was absolutely fascinated about it. But at the end of the day it’s mine and has brought much pleasure to my life *giggles*

  • sli

    Great article!

  • Arielle Loren


    Appreciate you commenting sis along with your feedback. I’m not sure how familiar you are with my work, but I try to make an effort to be inclusionary, and advocate for trans issues in my articles. In the past, I’ve covered transgender health and the complexities of gender identity versus biological sex with both men and women. But in regards to this article, the sentence you quoted, I was actually very particular about my language. The word “female” is not the same as “woman.” It is the difference between sex and gender, and I chose it for a reason. Being female is biological and does relate to genital anatomy. Hence why I tied it to my description of vulvas. Being a woman is a gender identity and not necessarily related to having a vulva, vagina, or a penis. But it can be, as there are many women with vulvas that need to hear this message. And I don’t find it problematic to call it a physical metaphor for the diversity in womanhood, because truly it can be one of many things that unites women, just as there are things that our transgender sisters share with each other that are unique and other women won’t be able to relate.

    But again, I do appreciate your concern and thank you for making sure that our transgender sisters are being recognized on a site for Black women. And I hope that you’ll continue to challenge writers like myself while continuing to do the work that you do to make sure that our writing about womanhood is inclusionary and a space for all women to feel like they’re being catered to. This piece was targeted at women with vulvas, whether they are naturally born or even surgically created. And just as I enjoy writing for Black women, as a particular demographic of women. I believe that writing to empower women with vulvas is essential, and something that is indeed a part of womanhood.

    Thank you again and much love,

    Arielle Loren

  • A Proud Owner of a Vagina

    so…what you’re saying is that a womens website can’t talk about our sexual reproductive system…because it’s not inclusive. Strange, with all the topics about sex on here, I haven’t heard anything from devout christians or virgins talking about how exclusive those articles. Or women of other ethnicities/races complaining that this site isn’t being inclusive.

    You’re right in saying that we shouldn’t put women in a box because we are all different. But saying that this author can’t write an article about the love that she has for her vagina and then spreading that self-love to other readers who it’s applicable to is stupid. If it doesn’t apply to you just pass over it.

    There are going to be times when the articles presented on this site won’t pertain to you, me, or any other Black woman who comes across these articles. That is life and this is not a utopia. The authors aren’t all knowing so they (what!) right about what they know.

    I don’t know why this comment made me so aggravated but it did. I was really offended.

    To the author, great article. I love my vagina, each and every part of it and I encourage every woman (who this applies to) to take the time out to love their own as well. This is also something that we should teach our young women so that they don’t run out getting plastic surgery on their vulvas.

  • TheBlackBelle

    Right on time article! I was JUST telling my bff that I used to wish my vulva was tiny with just a little slit like I seen on a few girls. lol. That is def NOT how mine looks! I have learned to love it and compliment sure don’t hurt either!

  • apple

    not to be insensitive but this isn’t a transgender woman site, this is a woman site, i was assume this would be subculture of black life so your experiences would fit better with a site that caters to that (for example when i once dated women only, the heterosexual black life really had much to do with me, and i knew they couldn’t cater to my unique experience of a black gay lifestyle so i joined black gay female forums/sites instead)

  • Keep it Real

    Brothers can look at your “Vulva” and tell if you got a lot if it got a lot of miles and had a lot of passengers. Looks like it’s been through a meat grinder. Yuk

  • Keep it Real

    Brothers can look at your “Vulva” and tell if it’s got a lot of miles on it and had a lot of passengers. Looks like it’s been through a meat grinder. Yuk

  • Enel

    But everyone is not going to be included in everything. Someone will always be excluded to some degree, in some place. I’m sorry, but I don’t get the objection to this article. The author should be able to write about her experience (and most other women’s experience) with having a vulva without being accused of excluding others. I think that if this article was about breasts and their beauty (or something like that), then women that do not have breasts would be excluded by default. I feel like you are looking at it as if someone is taking a shot at transgender people, when that is clearly not the case. I’m starting to think articles like this need a disclaimer at the end or something.

  • Ms. Information

    Oh God, here we go….this post is for women…I don’t care if you cut your penis off…wear a dress and put lipstick on, you aren’t a woman, sorry sir. This politically correct ish is really throwing normal communication have to be sensitive to so many things. This train of thought is threatening our freedom of speech.

  • Enel

    It took me a long time to love my vulva. Years ago I had such a problem with it because I felt like if what I had in between my legs would make a man want to hurt me, then I didn’t want it (vagina included).

    Those days are gone, though. I actually think it is quite beautiful, now. I look at mine almost weekly. I think it is more unique than a fingerprint, and I wouldn’t want it to look any other way, either.

  • Latishia

    Excellently written article. I talk to the young women I work with about the importance of not only knowing, but being connected with and appreciating there female anatomy. As females we are shamed from a young age regarding our body parts which leads to situations in adulthood of not knowing one’s anatomy properly and not being able rightfully take ownership of one’s sexual & reproductive health. Males (read cis- males) are taught the correct naming of their anatomy from a young age and are also imbued with pride with regard to their genitalia, it is something they should be proud to own. However, for many females vulvas are not seen as organs to be revered and instead are seen to be dominated and made for other’s pleasure and should be constructed in a way to please others (read cis- male dominated society). It is very important that all females are taught to be proud of their anatomy and that all women (natural born or not) should be taught to be proud of their gender.

    Peace and Blessing,

  • OSHH

    AND??? alot of men would still hit and ho’s be winning LOL really though dude!!!

    Seriously though I feel a woman should value herself and sex and strangely I feel that men should as well, even if the milage doesn;t show up on them physically it does show in other ways.

  • Beautiful Mic

    I had no idea that some women don’t have vulvas.

  • Beautiful Mic

    Oh, I see, a natural born/biological woman verses a transgendered woman.

  • Keep it Real

    They might hit it but it’s a one an done especially if she’s also loose and has no walls. Men make the mistake of thinking the more attractive a woman is the better her “Vulva” is going to be, WRONG! Dude is not going to be too happy, if he’s put a lot of time and money in romancing her, when she takes her clothes off and gives him the present and her ”vulva” looks beat up and when he has sex it its like throwing a hotdog down a hall. He won’t be back.

  • Cia

    Scientifically and medically speaking that it 100% NOT TRUE sir. You cannot look at a person’s vulva and tell how many partners they have had.

  • Whatever

    Transgenders are Transgenders. NOT women. Sorry , you will never be a woman. Get over it… This article is for women born women.

  • Alexandra

    Great article on self-love! I like how candid you were. I went through a phase where I thought parts of my body were disgusting. When I was a young teen.
    I know my body now. No one knows my body better than me and women who neglect viewing their most intimate body parts are doing themselves a disservice. Especially health-wise. I also don’t feel the author excluded anyone. Most biological females have a vulva. Some comments above is why I tend to have so many differing views concerning the transgender debate.

  • SickOfRidiculous

    “A woman with a penis is still a woman regardless of your transphobic beliefs.”

    I must respectfully disagree with you. Saying that a women with a manmade, surgically applied penis is still a woman is absurd. That statement is equivalent to a Black person bleaching all of the melanin out of their skin and claiming to be White because they’d done so. It doesn’t matter how White the Black person APPEARS to be, they are and will always be Black and Biology has A LOT to do with that. One cannot erase their Blackness with bleach, just as a man cannot erase his masculinity with an operation and/or associated hormone therapies. And just for the record… my beliefs are not transphobic. I have no issue with those that choose to undergo sex/gender reassignment surgery. However, I will not sit back and allow anyone with a penis to maintain the delusional belief that they are a woman.

  • Keep it Real

    Brothers, don’t you all love woman who tell us what we do and don’t know. We know when that “vulva” has been beat up. That is a fact, dear. :-) Now, I will say this some women are built closer (ie tighter) than others. The same as some men have bigger “hotdogs” than others. That is also a fact.

  • TheBlackBelle

    HUH? So you can LOOK and see that a woman has had a boatload of partners just like you can LOOK and see that she has an STD, right? Oh…ok
    0_o (shrugs)

    Anyway, ever thought that ur penis may just be too small? Maybe that’s why it dsn’t fit, but that would be too much like right.

  • apple

    Keep It Real.. why are you here? SERIOUSLY WHY ARE YOU HERE? what is your purpose to be a female site?! please go back where you came from, this female site doesn’t concern you, or rather THIS ARTICLE doesn’t concern you! get out!

  • Keep it Real


    Men with really big penises and women with really tight “vulva’s” know it because their parnters tell them. I’m assuming no man has ever told you “you have a really tight “vjay”

  • Keep it Real


    Are you aware these website post links on other sites? The “vulva” doesn’t concern men? Really……… no REALLY? Wow, interesting on so many levels.

  • Ty

    I don’t agree with “Keep it Real” that you can look at a woman’s vulva and tell how many partners she had or whether it’s larger than normal in there. That’s just crazy talk.

    BUT, in a sorta related subject, I will tell you that I’ve had intercourse with two different women before they popped out a kid and AFTER they popped out a kid (both did vaginal deliveries), and both of those women were definitely looser around Little Ty after those childbirths. I’ve heard a couple of married men express the same discovery.

    I know there is the surgery the obstetrician does after childbirth, and there are Kegel exercises, and I know breastfeeding is supposed to tighten that thing up, but doesn’t it work out sometimes that none of these things do the trick, and some women end up a lot bigger down there after childbirth.

    I’m not clowning y’all, it’s a serious question. Doesn’t that happen sometimes?

  • caramelgirl

    in response to Ty, of course it happens. Its kind of self explanatory. If a woman has a child her vaginal opening stretches because it has to in order to let the baby come out.

  • Ty

    Sure, I understand the concept, but I was under the impression previously that this rarely happened that a woman was so much bigger in there after childbirth,, that almost all women bounce back to their previous dimensions, but it seems like that’s not the case, that permanent stretching occurs with many women.

    Again, not being a jerk (intentionally, anyway) by saying this, but I have to wonder if the big jump in C-Sections is due to at least some women being afraid their pu**ies are going to get wrecked in childbirth. Or maybe their male partners are afraid of that. Or both.

    Because I’m not kidding, there was a big difference before and after with the two women I was with. I didn’t say anything, nothing like that, but it wasn’t tight anymore, and the pleasure was decreased. I’m sure it was for them, too.


  • aedivine

    I’m only 20 and i’ve worried about that myself.,but it comes with the package. I’m pretty sure almost ALL women who have vaginal births will have some sort of stretching down there. It really is obvious. If a 6 pound baby with,shoulders and hips and a big head is coming out of an opening the size of a large grape,I wouldn’t even be surprised if it wasn’t tight anymore…I mean duh dude LOL Babies are freakin HUGE compared to that hole! xD The vagina is not made of rubber! It isn’t going to “bounce back”. Yeah you might be able to tighten up the muscles around the wall of the Vagina a bit,but overall there will be some permanent stretching.

  • TheBlackBelle


    LIES!!! Clearly ur just here to troll. I need not explain my personal intimacies with you since you are of no importance. But if you must know,yes, it is a compliment I receive all the time. But you come on here acting as some type of pseudo expert just based off the fact that you are a man.Are you a doctor? A gynecologist? You are oblivious to your own ignorance. A partner telling me how I felt was not even what I asked. You said you could LOOK ( naked eyes only, no convo,compliments/insults given, no testing it out for certainty) and tell if if a woman was “loose” or not…
    Good Day!

  • a star

    nooooooo dont say that. there is me thinking my kegal excersises would fix the problem.

  • LemonNLime

    I’m so tired of this PC foolishness! Women can’t be made with hormone injections and cutting off a penis and I find it insulting that some think that makes a woman. Leave it to men to ignore the entire biological nature of being female and dwindling it down to looks, characteristics, and clothing. Real women are female because it is in our DNA and you can’t change or ignore it. Everything else is artificial or imitation. Trans-women are just that, TRANS. And just because most people, and biology, disagree with you doesn’t make us prejudice or transphobic, if anything it makes you close minded to those with a difference in opinion. And stop using violence to make a point, it is invalid regarding a post on vulvas because REAL women with vulvas suffer high rates of violence too.

  • Hanunah

    Hi and thank you for such a a lovely post. We as women do forget what G’d has given us. You have sparked that memory in me that it’s something wonderfully amazing and should be reverenced as such! I pray this reaches millions of women who have forgotten just how special we are!

  • CherryPie


    You are proof that there are sooo many (actually too many) sexually uneducated men in this world.

    As a single woman with a vagina that gets Praise & Props on the regular for how beautiful and tight it is, I can say without a doubt that the men I have sex with have no clue how many men I’ve slept with.

    Since you want to ignorantly assume the other ladies haven’t been told there vaginas are “tight”… I was told that last week and the week before that from a different guy I bagged so your point is pointless.

    Btw I’m proud to say that I’ve slept with more guys (big dick men 7+ ) than the number of years I’ve been on this earth and I’m still counting. ;)

    So go educate yourself and love your little penis.

    28yrs & Lovin It!

  • TheBlackBelle

    +1 CherryPie!

  • Simone

    Okay, I think I’m getting a c-section now. I want to have a kid, but mama has needs, too, you know.

  • Jenna

    I read most but not all of the comments so I don’t know if someone already pointed this out but… not all biological females are born with a vulva. Some infants are actually born with out well formed genitalia but with internal organs that identify them as male or female.

    I, however, was born with a vulva and I absolutely love her!

  • Keep it Real

    The funny thing is those that are disagreeing with me are actually affirming my comment. Your partner told you it’s tight or pretty compared to what? If it makes you all fill good to think that I have a small weenie, ok. lol If you have a big penis our a tight vjay your partners are going to tell you. If you have a small penis or loose vjay your partners are also going to tell you. How do I know, I’ve been told.

    Now, what I said was you can tell if a vjay has been beat up and has a lot of miles on it. Not exactly how many partners she’s had. Sorry, ladies not all but a lot of “vulvas” show the wear and tear. My proff other than personal experience? Go to a porn site and look for yourself. It’s as plain as day how beat up a lot of their “vulvas” are. Men will jump through a lot of hoops for a very tight wet “vulva”….deal with a straight up biatch. If it’s loose and or dry it ain’t going down, men can’t fill it, yawn…… the sax is straight up boring!

  • Isis

    Great article

  • ericka

    FYI: c-sections should never be something that you opt to do unless it is something life threatening for you or your baby. It should not be something you do SIMPLY to “keep it tight”…cmon now, not to mention you have to keep getting cut in many cases for the children you have thereafter..(some people can deliver vaginally after a c-section, but it is overall risky)..#priorities

  • Candy 1

    Thank you. I know some women who had c-sections and vaginal tightness was one of the top reasons. I don’t think some women really see c-sections as the serious surgeries that they are. I fully intended on vaginal birth, but at the last minute something went wrong, and they had to do a c-section. My doctor warned me about doing a vbac for my second baby so I had 2 c-sections in all, which makes me afraid to have another child because I don’t want another surgery. It took me so long to recover compared to if I had a vaginal birth, and my abdominal area will probably never look the same.

  • CherryPie

    Vaginal Scholars aka women do not need to engage in back-and-forth foolery with apprentices nor applicants to our sacred university.

    Go back, hit the books and study to show thyself approved.

    Right now, you’re definitely D E N I E D

  • Keep it Real


    Have you ever thought that there’s a reason you’ve slept with over 28 guys and and the guys don’t stick around too long? Think about it. Men do not dimes with tight “vulvas” stay on the market. Maybe you should try to make a couple of bucks in one of those porn videos instead of giving it away to every tom, dick and ray ray for free. Yeah, yeah we know they all fell in love with your magic puschie and you had to break their hearts. You’re not only a liar. You’re also a cheap slut. Tell you what, why don’t you come back 10 years from now and tell us about all the additional men you’ve slept with. At the rate you’re going it’s bound to be well over 100. And, of course, none of them will claim your no walls, sloppy, loose puschie a$$ either. Bwhahahaha Don’t play with me. Check mate, Hoe

  • Keep it Real

    Men do not LET dimes with tight “vulvas” stay on the market.

  • Bunny

    @ Keep It Real: So basically, your check mate to Cherry Pie (a person you don’t know btw) is to (attempt to) slut shame her, and call her a hoe…on a website for women? Because your vagina is a direct reflection of you and no woman has any other value outside of that? Not only that, you took the time to post a comment about how men can tell by looking at your vulva whether or not you have a bunch of miles…on an article encouraging women to love how they look down there. Which has nothing to do with any of what you’ve been defending…JUVENILLE!

    I think you probably have some issues outside of this that you are dealing with. I really can’t see why you’re even on here. Sure, the internet is a public forum and there are links to this post elsewhere I’m sure, but really?

  • Karen

    My man is always telling me how beautiful mine is, how silky it is, etc. He calls it a precious jewel. That’s one of the many reasons I love that man.

  • oneal

    LOL…this is a funny article…There are some nice looking Vajay jays and some please don’t show that to anyone vajay jay…LOL…and the young lady right we don’t wife up the chic with the tightest vagina nor those that are easy…them type of chics to us men are called FUN girls. For the MOMENT chics…SLUT BUCKETS…
    But a lady who keeps it clean, trim (brazil wax etc), get check ups and respect herself and her vagina is alright with me and one us men Pay Attention to and most likly have respect for…Had to put my two cents in…Picture was sexy as well as topic…LOL

  • Casey

    Brilliant. More women need to be proud of how we are built. This, I think, gives us more power sexually, intimately, and spiritually.

  • Keep it Real

    The only issue I have is people being unnecessarily personally rude and some self righteous chick standing up for a rat after she’s been checked. It’s a comment section meant for readers opinions on the article. If you disagree fine. Pass the comment or state why you disagree, but when you become personally rude sooner or later. You better be willing to take it the way you give out.

  • OSHH

    I have to agree wit Bunny, that last comment to ol girl was totally uncalled for, in extremely poor taste, and rather ignorant.
    Also the remark about “men don’t let women with tight vulvas stay on the market” LLS, that statement alone was just all types of dead wrong, immature, and stupid.
    GROWN men make those decisions based on alot more than the appearance and feel of a woman’s vagina and what the statement implies about a good percentage of women on the market is absurd.

  • Yep… I’m the Misses :-D

    I’m sorry I have to response to this although its been 4 days later.

    Not all women get permanently looser after childbirth. Yes your vagina stretches, but as long as you take care of urself and do your kegels exercises you are good to go. I can not speak on multiple births, but after I had my son, I would have to admit that it took about 3 or so months for my vagina to be EXACTLY as it was before I had him. I did feel the difference after the 6 weeks and did get scared, but 6 more weeks after that, that was it, back to normal and my husband and myself were ever so grateful lol. I just wanted to state that because I don’t want women to opt for a c-section just because of the belief that your vajayjay supposedly will be flapping in the wind, not so.

    Age may also be a factor since I was relatively young (21) and doing kegels like nobody’s business. But please don’t be discourage by some ppl’s horror stories, I had a 9lb 1oz, big headed baby boy and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference (well, my husband, I mean) everything is all good downstairs.

  • Miss September

    Great read ! I want to declare to the world that ” I LOVE MY VULVA ” lol ..
    It would be great , if they would produce a line to t-shirts similar to the “Save
    the tatas ” instead saying ” I love my vulva” I would definitely purchase one ;-)

  • Jo-Ann

    Mine took about 8 months after a vaginal delivery to get back to normal; I was getting worried, too. But my SO and I did use the time to get ever so much better at oral sex, so there is a silver lining in every dark cloud, LOL. And I am also now a freakin’ expert at handjobs, so that’s not a bad thing, either. Take it from me, it’s a great thing to know about when you’re not feeling like it, and he needs to let off some “steam”.

  • au napptural


    I love your blog, but this comment was misplaced. This is our space! Our space, where we can use our language. If this was an average white feminist blog,ok, but how many spaces do we have where it is suppose to be about us? I personally get tired of being shunted aside in the feminist texts as a black woman. We always have to share space with the GLBT! I’m tired. This is ours. When they discuss black issues on their sites, we can have this discussion here.

  • au napptural

    That was a beautiful post! I did used to dislike the look of my vulva because when you read romance novels and whatnot, all those flowery descriptions sound nothing like reality! But womanist texts have really helped me self-appreciate.

  • ForReals?


  • t

    Keep it Real is a sad little misogynist who’s never had sex due to being rejected by women all his life (gee, I wonder why), so what he does is take it his anger out on other women by trolling websites and articles like this just so he can insult them anonymously. This, *ahem*, “man” has never personally seen a vagina, so what would he know about what it’s supposed to look like? This pathetic who probably spends the vast majority of his time in his mom’s basement isn’t worth arguing with, so ladies PLEASE ignore and don’t feed the troll. He is clearly attention starved.

  • apple

    men up in here on a WOMAN’S SITE calling vaginas ugly/wide/whatever and slut shaming but they get to walk around with their lopsided, vein riddled,discolored, over sided mushrooms freely…

    go to hell and off this site

  • Michael Lewis

    I love complimenting my lady on her vulva and other body parts. She is so beautiful and I know for a fact she is my gift from God. She is my treasure in every way and I’m not ashamed to be complimentary to her on all her body parts. We have been dating just over a year now and being a man senior by ten years in age to her, I always think her for loving me. I’ve learned that if she has confidence in herself because of feeling good about herself…. I’m the lucky one who benefits from her joy. It doesn’t get any better than that!!!

  • Jean

    Wow. Really? I hope no one on here actually believes this nonsense. A woman is born with the vulva she has. “miles” have nothing to do with it. As a man, I’m kind of sick of explaining this BS to other men… It’s just even more unfortunate that I now find myself explaining it to women as well.

    So here goes:
    Having an innie or an outie, large labia minora or small, loose looking or tight and tucked in, has NOTHING to do with how many guys you’ve slept with, or how many times you’ve slept with one guy. I slept with an ex of mine over 2,000 times in the course of four years. Did her pussy look like she slept with 2,000 men? Because sleeping with me or 2,000 men each just one time is the same thing. It’s 2,000 dicks. And I don’t have a small johnson either. It looked EXACTLY THE SAME when we broke up as it did when we started dating, when she was a virgin.

    I’ve slept with my current girlfriend at least 500 times, and it’s the same story. I’ve slept with 22 women in the past 14 years (and yes, I know all of their names), and I swear to you women on this board, their pussies looked completely different from one to the next. Some had a lot of sexual experience, and a couple had no sexual experience, and the experience had nothing to do with how their pussies looked, or even WHAT THEY FELT LIKE. Sheesh. They are stretchy, beautiful, elastic organs. They return to the same level of tightness they had before sex within hours of having sex, and they don’t change in appearance with the number of partners a woman has had.

    Thank you for wasting my time. I wish I didn’t have to explain this to everyone, when you can so easily look it up yourself, or ask your doctor.


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