Why Her? The Case for Tiny

by Shahida Muhammad

Every week, after “T.I. & Tiny: The Family Hustle” airs, I know I’m guaranteed to find a mixture of commentary about Mrs. Harris (aka Tiny)  throughout my Twitter feed. Not because of anything she may have said or done during the episode, but the subject never fails to be her looks. And it doesn’t just stop at Twitter. In fact, whenever the subject of T.I. or the show comes up, Tiny’s appearance always finds a way into the conversation–and it’s rarely anything positive. Her face. Her shape. Her hairstyles. Her choice of clothing. Her makeup. Tiny just can’t seem to catch a break.

But, why?

For the record, I’m not a Tiny fan. I don’t know much about her outside of the fact that she is wed to one of my favorite artists and she was a part of the group Xscape. But from what I’ve observed of her and T.I., they seem to have a good relationship. They’re both family oriented and despite their large blended family, they make things work. They enjoy each other’s company, and they have fun together. Their love seems real, and I like them together.

As an individual, Tiny seems caring and sweet. As a mother she comes across as loving and attentive. And as a wife she has proven herself to be loyal and devoted. So why is it so hard for people to accept her? Why is it so easy to poke fun at her?  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone say, “I don’t know how she pulled T.I.!” And I hear this especially from other women. Could it be that some of us have bought into the idea that men of a certain stature must have some dazzling beauty on their arm whether they make a good match for them or not? What about character, personality, and overall chemistry?

I think it’s deeper than Tiny. The bigger picture is that our society has become so consumed with looks and surface level attraction that we often fail to see past all of that. We mentally pair people together based on fame, looks and stature when quite often these handsome couples are void of sincere compatibility or anything in common besides looking good together in a photo op. And while T.I. and Tiny may not be the prototype for healthy marriages, I believe there’s more to their relationship than just physical attraction (and not that I’m ruling that out).

I admit, I used to be one to look at certain couples and scratch my head, and from time-to-time I still catch myself still doing it. He is too cute for her or she is too pretty for him, I would think to myself. But it wasn’t until I fell for someone who wasn’t what I thought was “my type.” I never thought this person was attractive, yet his personality truly won me over. We clicked. We bonded. And we got each other. It’s that thing many people experience in life, when you realize there’s more to love than a great smile, charming words, and a nice physique. You find that there’s something at our core, beneath our pretty or not so pretty exteriors that bonds us to another soul, despite what package it comes in.

We often call out artists for constantly displaying such unrealistic and unhealthy images of women in their videos, but when we see an artist settle down with someone like Tiny she gets ridiculed. Why subject each other as women to such double standards? It’s hard enough trying to embrace our own unique beauty, why make it hard for the next woman.

No, Tiny doesn’t look like the average girl from a video, and she is no more glamorous than the average girl around the way. She’s down-to-earth; she’s not picture-perfect, and who says she has to be? None of this should matter. True beauty is not what you see but it’s the essence of a person reflected in their actions, spirit and the good that they give of themselves to others. Overall, I think it’s unfair Tiny gets so much flack simply because of her looks. If she’s is to be critiqued, let it be for something more substantial than the fact that she does not fit everyone’s standard of beauty. And of course, that goes for anyone else.

So the next time we look at a couple and think “Why her?” or “Why him?” let’s challenge ourselves to wonder, why not? And if we can’t think of an anything beyond the surface, if we dig deeper, we just may be able to find the answer.

  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com/ African Mami

    I like guys that are not physically all the way there….so I can relate to her plight. Iunno. Shallow but eh, it’s life…keep it moving. So long as I like him…why should you or the other rat care?!

  • NY’s Finest

    To me both Tiny and T.I. look like regular people from the block, it’s not like he’s ridiculously handsome, so I really don’t get all the negative talk about her looks. All I know is I’m so very tired of ugly ass men talking about who is and isn’t a dime.

  • CD86

    [I couldn't care less really. I rarely ask the, "Why him?" or "Why her?" questions.]

    [For me, I have a male friend who wants to date me. He is a good looking guy, but I don't think we would mesh well as a couple. Plus, I am not attracted to him emotionally. And then, I have another male friend who isn't exactly unattractive, but not my type physically, but he is a very cool guy and his personality is what I like.]

    [This topic reminds me of how on Twitter and other social networks, I frequently see people make statements about men cheating on their wife/girlfriend with an 'ugly hoe'. It's as if people are more accepting of cheating as long as the person is cheating with a 'good looking' person.]

    I guess for Tameka and Clifford, people expect her to be top notch since rappers are always ‘rapping’ about a woman who is practically perfect.

  • chanela

    i hate when people act this way over looks. i’ve seen some AMAZING sexy ass guys but they’re either jerks,whores,or too damn conceited. this is why i don’t trust super good looking guys anymore.lol

    i don’t judge men on looks too much. i don’t give a damn about how good they look. i’m more about how they are as a person.

  • Tami

    I hear a lot of people talk about how ugly Tiny is. One morning I was listening to a radio station & they spent 10 whole minutes talking about how ugly she was. In my eyes, she is not a great beauty but she isn’t ugly either. I like her & TI together. Their chemistry seems mad crazy & they appear to be in love. I don’t think you can fake that. It’s not all about looks…It’s all about love.

  • twee

    I’ll admit I didn’t think Tiny was attractive at all, especially back in the Escape days. But now I feel that she’s not a perfect beauty but she’s also not ugly. And I agree the standard that is out there is what make people judge her so harshly.

    That’s the beauty of seeing their relationship played out on TV and I love how he greets her with hey beautiful and how Tiny could care less about what the critics have to say and still think she’s cute. And apparently TI doesn’t care about the critics either.

  • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

    I could state the real reason why people are going at Tiny…but I’ll wait and see who’s going to be the first to bring it up…

  • Isis

    I agree

  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

    @ PA,

    she ghetto?! and sounds uneducated?! she’s half white?! boo c’mon. pray do tell! howwwwwdy.

  • girlformerlyknownasgrace

    You know what it is? (shoot, i will say it perverted alchemist. Or at least what i think it is). Good looking men usually are extremely flawed (read:cheaters, players, etc). It is usually good looking women who settle for average looking joes because average looking joes (jayz) know they have to work to keep their girl. Good looking men feel entitled. I have yet to meet a good-looking dude that either wasnt with a good looking woman or does not cheat. There i said it.

  • girlformerlyknownasgrace

    Idk what happened to my comment

  • http://method2hermadness.blogspot.com/ girlformerlyknownasgrace

    My comment did not post but i think it is because good-looking men usually have their pick of the ladies. So they are usually less than faithful. Just my take on things.

  • Dawn

    It’s amazing because the attractiveness-bashing is so one-sided. When Rick Ross or Biggie, or any of these terribly unattractive men, lands a gorgeous-looking, successful woman, no one really bats on eye. And Biggie dating Faith definitely wasn’t the topic of no 10-minute radio show because of his looks.

    I hate that people are naturally more critical of how women look, and I hate that women tend to gang up on one another about this. You won’t hear me saying one negative thing about Tiny; I think she’s attractive, and T.I. is lucky to have someone like her.

    The whole focus on women’s looks is getting out of control. I feel like men and women have become more critical of women as a whole – just check out any comments section of a blog like Bossip or Perez Hilton – while men seem to get a pass just for being famous (i.e., Rick Ross, and the numerous women who I’ve read as saying he’s attractive to them).

  • Laina

    As a person with a sister that society has deemed very attractive sister, I of course am on the side of Tiny, Solange and anyone else that society deems as less attractive. I grew up in a household where looks were not emphasized. I never realized I looked different than my sister. We were treated the same. But the outside world had other plans. Society deemed me as average and my sister as pretty. Just as people cannot see T.I with Tiny, most people do not get the fact that my sister and I are sister. I have gotten puzzled looks and also been ignored when I am with my sister and I am introduced to others. By the way, this is done primarily by other Black people. So as far as Tiny, what scale are you using to judge if she is beautiful? Why can’t she be with T.I.? I do not watch the current show but I watched a few episodes of her old show. She seemed like a caring person as far as relationship with her father, mother and other people. She seems like an enterprising person. I do not like the fact that she put her singing on the back burner for T.I. but that is her business. She had her own money before she met TI. You do not like the way she looks or acts, then do not look at her or watch her show.

  • QoN

    @Dawn

    There is a simple explanation. Men have resources and women have looks. They use that to bargain and navigate in the dating world. If a beutiful woman was with a broke dude, we would be critical of her.

  • Tiffany

    It’s because most women of all races have drunk the kool-aid. We view other women as competition. We are told to look a certain way, dress a certain way, act a certain way in order to get a man. So when someone comes along who doesn’t fit the typical standard of beauty we get in a huff because we were taught from a young age that women need to be dimes to be worthy of half decent men let alone famous musical artists. If you notice in many scenarios it’s not men publicly tearing down most women (i.e Kim Kardashian, Tiny, etc.) it’s other women because we have mistakenly taken on the idea that other women are the enemy/competition, especially when we start talking about the apparent shortage of “good black men.” Then the claws really come out because we have a fear of losing the competition for the supposed “top shelf” men and everybody knows that your life and you suck if you’re single (sarcasm).

  • http://method2hermadness.blogspot.com/ girlformerlyknownasgrace

    I always saw Solange as the more attractive sister..,

  • SickOfRidiculous

    I can remember a time when I asked myself the same question, “Why her?” But, ultimately, that’s none of my business. Furthermore, it’s a very shallow state of mind to possess. I thank God for growth and maturity. T.I. seems to think that his wife is a beautiful person and in the end, HIS opinion of her is the only opinion that matters. They seem to be a very happy couple with a wealth of love and understanding between them. It is a rarity that we find a love so pure celebrated publicly, especially among young African-American/Black couples. So, I have made it my personal business to celebrate the beautiful love between them.

  • Choc

    Wait, what does Solo have to do with this?

  • Dalili

    I’m overstating the obvious here when I say this explains why the institution of marriage is in shambles. We all want aesthetically pleasing mates but that means nothing in times of crisis. I stopped asking ‘why her/him?’ when a good friend married a man we all thought was the anti-thesis of her type. He is so good to her in that he partners with her in the true sense of the word. I’ve known her a long time and can’t remember seeing her so happy and content in any other pairing. To the outside world they seem ‘mismatched’ but they couldn’t be more perfect for each other. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.

  • Isis

    I dont think shes ugly. She seems sweet, she cares about ppl, she holds him down, takes good care of their kids. Sounds like wife material to me. I think he made a great choice.

  • lw

    I totally get. “why Tiny”. When they got together she was the famous one. She was the catch. She’s sweet, seems fun as hell, and clearly doesn’t mind if he strays (didn’t he have Hoopz publicly with him at some talk show before she got with Shaq?) She’s as ghetto as he is, and he knows she’s more about him than his cash. Sure, she’s “facially challenged” but men care so much less about that than they let on. The only thing I think is wierd about Tiny is how much plastic surgery she’s had.

  • http://designsdelight.net arts and craft movaement

    I understand his piece, it took courage to write this up.

    He must have choices of females but he chose her. We are superficial. These days people can always go for plastic surgery but she must be comfortable with her looks and confident to. Maybe that is it.

    Maybe our notions of beauty are too European, she looks a bit oriental.

  • ruggie

    Very handsome men are not as much in need of eye candy on their arms, and some of them are smart enough to leverage their good looks for a quality female who is the best match for them. Sometimes that female doesn’t “match” them in looks, which gets people riled up, but when you’re that handsome you’re operating on a whole other level. I can think of a few men like that.

  • ladyangel

    Tiny have always been down as you young ones call it. When a woman love man and knows that he loves her back…she will hold on an make sure he hold on as well. TI got someone who love him for him and not what he got. That’s what most people don’t like about her she’s real as it get. The media can’t stand that TI hasn’t fallen for their hype about who he should be with.. Anyone that judges love by what another person looks like should never miss a good chance to shut up.

    To be capable of steady friendship or lasting love are the two greatest proofs, not only of goodness of heart, but of strength of mind. Keep on truckin TI & Tiny, you know you are doing something right when it seems like the hold town (Hollywood) against you! Tell them loud and clear (Up Yours Hollywood!!)

  • TheBestAnonEver, Part 2

    +50000

    The criticisms of her or any woman a black male celebrity dates, really reveals something ugly in some black women.

  • Velma

    She has looks like my grandmother. Meaning, she has strong Indian features. She is a different looking woman, but why would you want to look like everyone else?? What I really like is the relationship between her and her man, she really loves him and he loves her. She doesn’t have an ego when it comes to him and vice versa. That is so lost in black community today….as it seems it’s all about who can trump who. She’s cool in my opinion.

  • Cantarah

    The same women who go on and on and on about Tiny being too ugly for T.I. are the same dumb women who fall for a dude telling them that he’s only attracted to dark-skinned/half Cuban/dreadlocked women (ie whatever they happen to look like) and think it’s so totally complimentary when he tells them about how much he hates blondes/fat women/tall women/whatever women that don’t look like you look like. It’s a line and a certain type of woman is stupid enough to fall for it and they are the same damn ones who honestly care about whether or not a rapper they’re attracted to but will probably never meet has a woman who is up to where they think his standards should be.

    And the men who go on and on about Tiny’s looks? The same type of men who can’t pull women much better looking women than Tiny anyway and see nothing odd about the likes of Biggie and Rick Ross being with women that blow them out of the water in terms of physical appeal.

  • Kaya

    ..how about ohh I dunno jealousy?
    People are so unfamiliar with identifying when a basic negative emotion takes root and have a idea of how someone looks or act when they have pride or JEALOUSY they never associate the behavior and feeling to them.
    They try to over complex why they feel one isn’t good enough or this or that but the base root is jealousy. I personally was blind and deaf, til of late, on the hate with Tiny. I feel that she is extremely pretty and always thought so-I didn’t see and dont see where she’s “physically challenged”. The only thing that gave me the side eye was her voice but it was with her personality as well that made her interesting, too me.

  • girlformerlyknownasgrace

    Man i really wish i had a man like TI. Jailtime really makes a man more attractive.

    In their case, it is not like TI is college-educated, on the top of every womans list. It is not jealousy. If this was Idris Elba – who is dont care for but apparently other women do. It isnt that women are not good enough, it is that MEN like TI act like women who look like Tiny are not good enough. It really does have to do with the way men typically are and TI just defies that stereotype by sticking with his woman, not cheating, and being a good father. What they have is rare and admirable- and that is why people act as though it is too good to be true. I dont agree with it, i just call it how I see it.

  • binks

    Agreed! Besides people need to let go of the notion that being pretty sexy or beautiful = automatic successful and lasting relationships when it doesn’t, you need to bring something other than looks to the table. Besides beauty is subjective maybe to TI Tiny is the most beautiful woman in the world and at the end of the day that is what matter …shrugs

  • Liz

    This is incredibly mean-spirited…

  • sunshyne84

    That fake booty is the worst!

  • Jnique27

    I really appreciate your attention to the ways we criticize Black women who do not meet societal standards of beauty…all the while (legitimately) bemoaning the degradation of Black women in popular culture and the unrealistic body/hair/complexion expectations of most Black women celebrities

    Not only is “true” beauty supposed to be intrinsic, it’s supposed to encompass variety and diversity. If only Rihanna and Beyonce can be beautiful, what does this say for Black folks view of beauty?

  • Kaya

    A complex analyze form by a simple root. At the end of the day guys may act a certain way and females may perceive it however they wish, but its not the guys that have the problem with TI and Tiny .
    For some people, prince charming fell in love with and ugly duckling. The next part that never gets said aloud is-why that ugly duckling?
    Too sit there and pick aprt her physical features and feel that you are better in that department and he deserves better shows an mentality that love have to have an association with beauty instead of the beauty -in-one-eyes, which makes me feel why would one sit there and speak such negative words? Their negative the words are hateful and intended to ssay as a woman for TI, who find her beautiful, she’s not good enough. Where does the hate comes from?-oh lemme guess just hatin to hate?

    At the end of the day, we have our opinions bout where and why someone do
    And behave on the situation and feel-but it really is immature, that people do that perhaps we may agree on that.

  • Zaza

    Um has this not been brought up yet? The issue for some is that if Tiny was dark, would TI have been interested? Its the issue that for some colourstruck people an ‘ugly’ light woman gets a pass, wheras a dark woman wouldn’t, just becuase she’s light. Not saying I agree in relation to Tiny but sorry it’s true, I’ve seen some plain light women get praised by the same guys who would look over even the most beautiful dark-skinned woman, just because she’s dark. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that and I’m sure TI loves her for more than her looks.

  • BrooklynZoe

    I’m just going to go ahead and say this: The reason why Tiny gets talked about so much is because black people have this notion that all light skinned blacks and biracial people are beautiful. If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say ” SHE’S MIXED”? I would be rich. As If there is no way in hell a black person can get with a white person and produce an unattractive child as if reproducing with white people guarantees us beautiful children. I’m pretty sure if Tiny had “good hair”, pointy nose and light eyes she would be considered beautiful.
    I have a Aunt who was talking about her brother- in- law’s wife and how ugly she is. I will never forget what my cousin told her. “you aint got to sleep with her, so don’t worry about it”

  • Isis

    Very true Brooklyn. Black folks swear mixed ppl are Gods greatest creation and can’t possibly be unattractive. Lmaoooo lawd

  • Cecily

    Well firstly, I DON’T think they’re together for the right reasons. i have little doubt that T.I is probably unfaithful to Tiny. I think a BIG part of the reason he is with her is because she is easy to control. He really comes across as a very controlling spouse. She is easy to subdue. He basically forced her to give up on her career as a songwriter/performer, even though she wanted to continue to pursue that. When they got together, he was unknown and she was the star. That has completely switched now, and that’s how he likes it. Watching the Family Hustle, I would cringe at their relationship. People are so easily impressed! *Oh look, he set up a romantic dinner for them. Oh look, he just slapped her butt, how cute!* To me, the whole thing seemed fake. I really do not think he loves her. I think she adores him though.

    Secondly, I have to disagree with a lot of comments on one point- T.I *is* a good looking man. When even unattractive rappers have very attractive spouses, I guess it was expected that T.I’s spouse be super special. Tiny is not only not super-special, she is very plain. I’m not saying that it should be important- but that may be a reason why people fixate on it. You often see the reverse, but not the beautiful man with the so-so woman. That’s less common.

  • Isis

    He should be with u???.cuz ur super special? Lmaooo

  • Cecily

    No….I think I made it pretty clear I consider him an asshole. The fact that he is attractive doesn’t change that.

    Tiny being ordinary looking is only made more obvious because she is with a man considered good looking, in an industry where even butt ugly men get gorgeous women.

    To answer your questions: no, I wouldn’t want his ass, and some people seem to think so.

  • Cecily

    Agreed. And didn’t T.I cheat with Hoopz? And many more I’m sure…another woman probably would have up and left, but he knows Tiny won’t. What a beautiful relationship….

  • Dee

    Yes, it is. Basically says, “Yes, she’s ugly, but maybe she has other decent qualities.” I know the author thinks she was trying to defend Tiny, but all she really did was reinforce the same ideas.

    Shahida, maybe when he looks at her he sees a beautiful woman. Maybe many people see Tiny as beautiful. Maybe it’s just that simple.

  • CD86

    “I could state the real reason why people are going at Tiny”

    Um, I presume you have insider information about their relationship because you are part of their inner circle? Otherwise, the ‘real reason’ is speculation and merely your opinion.

  • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

    ‘I’m just going to go ahead and say this: The reason why Tiny gets talked about so much is because black people have this notion that all light skinned blacks and biracial people are beautiful. If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say ” SHE’S MIXED”? I would be rich. As If there is no way in hell a black person can get with a white person and produce an unattractive child as if reproducing with white people guarantees us beautiful children. I’m pretty sure if Tiny had “good hair”, pointy nose and light eyes she would be considered beautiful.”

    This is what I was going to say was the real reason why Tiny gets a lot of hate, and BrooklynZoe basically nailed it right here!!!

  • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

    Hey, CaliDreaming86, instead of coming at me sideways, what you need to do is go and seek some help about your depression. You might actually succeed in that…

  • mamareese

    Let’s be honest, most chicks are made becasue it aint them. But really it’s because she’s not video chick hot….anybody can buy a nose and lips, hips whatever. It takes a real woman to say I love everything about myself and damn what ya’ll think. That’s what makes her fly and that’s why TI loves him some Tiny. I think she’s a beautiful person simply because of that fact and because OF that fact alone she got her a good dude that gives her all life has to offer. Don’t be mad because your chickenheaded ways or your bought booty aint got you that. Leave the woman alone.

  • mamareese

    And I’m not so sure about him cheating. He has baby mamas so he has not problem with moving on. If he is I think it’s because of the industry he’s in and booty is always there. I don’t think for a minute that he doesn’t love his wife and family. What he should cheat because she doesn’t look the way you think she should? When are women gonna stop nit picking other ladies and focus on their own lives and appearance. The same chicks mad at Tiny are the chicks that cant afford a “good weave” and shop at Rainbows for they “club” outfit….basic chicks get mad at basic things……who he married and why is basicially his business. Word.

  • CD86

    SMH! Your ad hominen response was well predicted. For you to attack my emotional well being with the response above in an article of no relation speaks volumes of your maturity level.

    I am willing to bet you felt superior after you typed your response. Since you want to make this personal – I hope, if you haven’t already, experience an adverse period of your life and no one gives a f{uck}.

  • OSHH

    I have to agree here. with both of these comments.
    Its kinda rare to come across a FIONNE man with the character and substance to match. Unicorns and such,

  • http://pervertedalchemist.blogspot.com Perverted Alchemist

    “SMH! Your ad hominen response was well predicted. For you to attack my emotional well being with the response above in an article of no relation speaks volumes of your maturity level.”

    So says the “woman” who feels the need to run off at the mouth about things that don’t concern her…

    “I am willing to bet you felt superior after you typed your response.”

    You came at me sideways and all I did was return the favor- deal with it.

    “Since you want to make this personal – I hope, if you haven’t already, experience an adverse period of your life and no one gives a f{uck}.”

    I’ve been through more adverse times in my life in 2 years than you have in your whole life. The difference between me and you is that I’m still standing, walking with my head up high and smiling, while you are constantly whining on the internet about your issues that nobody cares about. Now, what does that say about YOUR maturity level???

  • OSHH

    True!

  • CD86

    Nobody ‘came at’ you ‘sideways’. I may not have directly asked you to clarify your comment, but that is essentially what I was doing. I did not personally attack you.

    I am not going to address your response in depth because it has no relevancy to the original topic or anything thereafter, but what I will address, is that your assumption about experiencing more adversity than me is purely subjective. Likewise, your degree of adversity cannot be compared to some else’s. Additionally, no two people handle adversity the same way. Good for you that you have been able to overcome your issues, but it does not make you better than the next person.

  • http://www.thegoldenruleboutique.blogspot.com Cash

    LOVE THIS ARTICLE!! And I love them as a couple! That’s true love right there!

  • Liz

    I agree with you 110%. To add to that, Tiny is…shall we say unrefined. A lot of folks expect having a white mother automatically means you will be different or “better” in some social sense, and Tiny is as basic as they come. To clarify…I know some black men who believe procreating with white women will mean their daughters, specifically, will escape the finger snapping, head swiveling, weave wearing image they’ve imposed on the black women they refuse to date…but yet Tiny, with her white mama and all, is still pretty ratchet.

  • http://shahidaatlarge.tumblr.com Shahida

    I must say that there was nothing mean-spirited in this piece. And I would hope no one would take it that way. I like Tiny. I never said or intended to imply that she is ugly. Not only do I think she’s pretty, but I think she has a very sweet and endearing personality which, to me, is more of a factor in determining anyone’s beauty or ugliness. And regardless of that, I would never attempt to tear another woman down because of “what I think” of her looks; it’s shallow and immature, and I think it reflects poor self-esteem among those who choose to do so.

    The main point of the piece is that it shouldn’t matter what I think about her looks, or what anyone else thinks. Love is not and should not be surface level, and the connection her and T.I. have is between them. Essentially: “If she’s is to be critiqued, let it be for something more substantial than the fact that she does not fit everyone’s standard of beauty.”

    @Dee: Yes, you’re right, maybe it is that simple. I’m sure T.I. finds her beautiful (as he should) and many others. My point exactly. Beauty is subjective.

    Best,
    Shahida

  • kidole

    good question…too bad we both already know the answer!

  • Misty Knight

    I agree, at this point it is so redundant to keep harping on Tiny’s looks. I guess it stems from men of means always being seen with the most attractive wives/GF’s money can buy, so Tiny’s presence in TI’s life kind of contradicts that notion. Even though I never got why TI was such a “prize” he stay’s going to jail, has a body that seems to have never finished puberty, and from I hear has terrible skin. If he wasn’t rich and famous, they wouldn’t be raising these many eyebrows.

  • Liz

    Highlighting the fact that other women tear Tiny down based on her looks, is encouraging dialogue about her looks, and not her other qualities.

    Some astute posters can see the forest for the trees, and pointed out how black women in particular harshly criticize each others looks for not meeting our standards of beauty. The rest, however, turned it into a bashing session to point everything that is “wrong” with Tiny, and why she is deserving of the criticism she receives. Not to mention, the title of the post is a double entendre. Why her? As in why do people pick on her. But also, Why did T.I. choose her <—-mean.

    I don't think Tiny would read this and say, "Gee…finally someone is judging me for me". You can shake it up and twist it however you'd like; this sh*t is mean. Period.

  • http://1stamend-kisa-kisa.blogspot.com/ kisa

    Why is this a real topic of discussion?
    Her husband loves her. Period. End of story. Case closed.
    No one has perfect aesthetic beauty. Not even Halle, not even Beyonce. WE ARE ALL FLAWED.

    Eff off if you can’t understand why TIP is with Tiny. Your opinion doesn’t matter. Only God’s does.

    Thank you!!!

  • Karen

    Tiny proves that not all “mixed” people are attractive. She one of then. Mixed people always think they are the epitome of beauty in the black community. And that’s BS. I’m not haten. But this is true. I’ve seen plenty of fine ass brown women look hella better then mixed ones. But we all know living in this society in this country who gets more attention.

    Anyway, T.I. could have done alot better in the looks department when it comes to women. She maybe a good mom. I don’t know. I don’t watch the show. But she is fugly. My mom says she look like her cousin Mildred. lol.

  • http://1stamend-kisa-kisa.blogspot.com/ kisa

    Rihanna is NOT beautiful. She has impeccable fashion sense and she is sexy. Let’s be real here.

  • Sometimes things are better left unsaid and just understood.

    Sometimes things are better left unsaid and just understood. I think the article should have explored that we get an opportunity to see a healthy relathinship displayed on TV between a black couple and also that T.I. is doing a very good job supporting his children and also embracing the role of a black father to all of his children – an image that the media tries very hard to destroy. I think too much attention on Tiny and why he’s with her is irrelevant and quite superficial. I really like the couple and what they stand for…and we should just embrace that and keep it moving…

  • Isis

    Mixed ppl only feel that way cuz black ppl are ga ga over them. I don’t blame their attitude of superiority when u have a race of ppl that validate them

  • CD86

    ‘This’ doesn’t prove that all BIRACIAL (I hate the term ‘mixed’) are not attractive. What it does is expose the absurdity of a lot of people. Furthermore, I don’t think it’s appropriate to state that biracial people ‘always’ think one way or another. Karen, I am not trying to purposely attack you, but I don’t think you are helping the cause by stating, “I’ve seen plenty of fine ass brown women look hella better then mixed ones.”, because you, like them, are associating beauty with skin color.

    I agree Isis. I am not biracial myself, but to most Black people (my personal experiences), I appear biracial and have had people obsess about my perceived racial heritage. I once had a Black man in a Myspace chatroom (back when Myspace was popular) tell me that the only reason I was attractive was because of my skin color.

  • Angie

    She looks very pretty in the article picture. I don’t see what all the hub-bub is about? Tip loves her….what more is there to say?

  • Sepiastar

    Yes, that’s the real issue. The problem is “women” are placing these superficial standards of beauty on each other, yet, they rarely even “fit” the images they glorify. Your statement “all the while (legitimately) bemoaning the degradation of Black women in popular culture and the unrealistic body/hair/complexion expectations of most Black women celebrities” is the most worthwhile I have read concerning this issue. Many BLACK women project this myopic standard of beauty on others and the most perplexing thing is we then hypocritically try to blame “others” as imposing European standards of beauty on us. Mind boggling!!

  • mamareese

    I totally agree. No matter how “pretty” and pleasing to the eye a person maybe, your personality can still make you ugly. Let them folks live in love, that’s why so many of us walk around miserable…we so busy trying to harp on why he’s with her. Pay attention: Cause you chose not to be beautiful on the inside 1st and you can smell a stank attitude/disposition/personality from a mile away. And that’s a turn off all day. So instead of debating over a guy and chick that you may never have cause they seem pretty permanent…let’s work on an artical about improving ourselves.

  • http://www.styles4ubymonique.com Monique

    She may not be attractive to many but she’s attractive to T.I. so at the end of the day that’s all that matters. I personally didn’t like how she spoke so it was hard for we to watch the show but b/c I love T.I. I kept watching and now I absolutely love them as a couple and the dynamics of their family…

  • Jacquelyn Marie

    Let me just say this, I think it is cold blooded for people to talk about Tiny because someone finds her unattractive. We live in a society that is based on looks, and if you don’t fit America’s idea of beauty than your considered unattractive. People who believe you should be with someone because of how they look is the unattractive one. What many people fail to realize is, true love is when the chemistry is right, when your spirit shares a connection with someone, and you love from your soul; ultimate love. This type of love has nothing to do with societies interpretation of what love looks like (physical beauty only). Superficial love is based on the physical, but real love is based on unconditionally, non-judgmentally loving someone. I like them together, they have chemistry in love and the two of them are beautiful. No one has to understand their love, as long as they do! Peace~

  • Jade

    I don’t think this article was written in a mean spirit, if you think that, you completely missed the point. It’s about our own values as people and how quickly we judge a person based on their outside appearance instead of their inner qualities. This article points the finger at us and asks you assess how you judge others. We often judge based of our society- images we’re presented with and things we have seen in the media. There’s more to life than appearances and obviously so much more to their love than looks. Strive for something real instead of light vs dark skin, light vs dark eyes, 16″ vs 4″ hair etc.

  • QoN

    @Brooklyn

    That isnt the case at all for a guy like T.I. If he were a dude from around the way, Tiny’s averageness and below would make sense. He is rich and famous. He is supposed to have a fine girl regardless of complexion.

    I understand what you are saying. However not because Tiny is mixed but because T.I. is famous and rich, Tiny is supposed to be better looking.

    I dont think she is pretty at all.

  • Candigirl1968

    Something that you don’t mention is that Tiny is more of what folks often call “country.” She has a pronounced accent that is more, “grandma on the porch” than Southern belle. And, while women who look like Tiny may be seen in videos, they don’t usually wind up with their own show (T.I. may be the reason it made it to the air, but it’s called T.I. AND Tiny). Instead, we get the black version of the Real Housewives of Orange County look with the ladies of Basketball Wives and Love & Hip-Hop.

  • Rinna

    I think this article was honest, a lot of people criticize Tiny because of her looks, and the way she dresses, but on the other hand, she’s not ugly. What I like about the show and Tiny and T.I.’s relationship, is that I see that there’s more than looking rich and looking pretty, and try to impress fans, there’s substance to her persona and that’s real. It’s a fresh breath of air of all the fighting and crap I usually see on reality TV.

  • ms_micia

    If her looks are to be examined why not ti’s???? i mean he’s verry short and reminds me of a weasel. if it wasn’t for the money he eventually made, bc remember Xscape was hot waaaaaay before TI stepped onto the scene, he probably wouldn’t have been able to step to HER at all. Anyway they’re two peas in a ghetto pod, and if you saw the episode last night you can see he doesn’t respect her opinion or her right to make decisions for HER daughter as if he’s the only one who can make any decision WITHOUT question. The ? should be why does TINY put up with Tip and his constant in and out of jail and the “alleged” other women????? Ask THAT!

  • Meshia

    Why her? She’s half white. No black man can resist light skin.

  • NY’s Finest

    Lmao@ shop at Rainbows for they “club” outfit.

  • arlette

    please dont go there. why oh why does it always have to come to dumb stuff like that. get a life my dear please. i didnt even know she was mixed, so the f what some guys believe it or not go for a thing called personality, it happens. believe it does and shallow girlies like you are left out.

  • BrooklynZoe

    @ QoN

    I get what your saying too, after all the article was asking the question Why Her? which I don’t have the answer to unless I asked T.I. personally. I was making the point of why people go at her so harshly. He isn’t the only rapper with a average looking chick. I don’t think Snoop’s wife is all that hot either but know one says anything about her. Tiny isn’t pretty and she isn’t ugly either, she just don’t fit into the stereotype image of a mixed girl and I believed people where dogging her on her looks or way before T.I. came into the picture.

  • arlette

    im fed up of seeing ugly with a capital U-G-L-Y guys dating the most beautiful women around and everyone being ok with it but when its the other way round all hell breaks loose. I don’t think she is ugly coz ive seen ugly and she aint it but I don’t understand how people can be so shallow and mean to someone they dont know. Lil wayne is a not so attractive man who seems to pull beauties but I doubt anyone complains or even cares.

  • Madeline

    Why NOT her??? She has been with him since before he ever had shit. Down with him through his stunts and shows. She has held this dude down through thick and thin. Why NOT her? These same folks hollering she ugly wanna get up in arms when these dudes wife trophy pieces. Which one is it? Do we want men to ultimately look beyond the physical or what? Or do we only want people to look beyond the physical when it comes to our own selves? Hypocrites. Pfft

  • DolphinsandPuppies

    There is nothing wrong with the way Tiny looks. The main ones calling her ugly look a hot mess themselves most of the time.
    This is not about light/dark skin. This is about TI supposedly having money and being able to choose from what is considered the most beautiful women available. The fact that he chose Tiny and not some gabby union or sanaa lathan look a like slaps a lot of women in the face. Nobody would care if TI wasn’t famous and was some regular black man working a 9-5 with Tiny on his arm. It’s his status that’s the real issue. When people (especially women) carry on like this it only shows insecurity, jealousy and screams entitlement issues.

  • Kennard Stinnete

    I know why they have something to say. Its call “hating” or “dang, I wish I was in her spot”. Its as simple as that. Your article states some wonderful things like “..But from what I’ve observed of her and T.I., they seem to have a good relationship. They’re both family oriented and despite their large blended family, they make things work. They enjoy each other’s company, and they have fun together. Their love seems real, and I like them together.” I totally agree and think to myself, “after that, what else matters.’ He’s cool with her so everybody, stop being jealous and get you a man (or woman) that you can have fun with too.

  • Alexandra

    Nothing to over-analyze. Women who are die-hard fans of T.I. may think he’s too attractive to be with her. If she was pretty, people wouldn’t talk about her looks as much, but they’d find something else to bash. Haven’t watched an episode of her show since the premiere, but I agree that her and T.I. seem to have a very nice tight-knit family.
    She was much more attractive during the 90′s, but she’s not as ugly as people make her out to be.

  • So Over This Ish

    While I won’t deny that lots of men admire light-skinned and biracial women (I am biracial myself), it sounds like you have some bitterness. Maybe he’s with her because of who she is.

  • So Over This Ish

    Thank you! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. She is not ugly, IMO. The color of her skin shouldn’t be an issue.

    Why can’t people just be happy for others?

  • So Over This Ish

    Very well said! I agree 100%.

  • So Over This Ish

    Come on, really? I am biracial with very light skin…I don’t feel superior to anyone. Please don’t stereotype all mixed women that way. It just makes you sound ignorant. And Tiny is not “fugly”. She might not be pretty to some people, but she obviously has something that appeals to him.

    I, too, have seen beautiful chocolate sistas. They don’t seem to have a problem with confidence or with getting attention. My cousin is dark-skinned and gorgeous with nice curves…people in the Black community always tell her how beautiful she is. She was in beauty contests and did some modeling. I was jealous of her when we were growing up because all the cute guys were pushing me down to talk to her. I’ve seen lots of pretty girls with dark skin.

    It seems like you just want to insult those of us that are biracial or light-skinned by saying, “See…this is proof that not all of them look good?” What’s the point of that? That is divisive. I know that dark-skinned women often feel overlooked and their beauty isn’t always recognized, but is it really necessary to make sweeping generalizations about people of mixed race?

  • So Over This Ish

    I agree w/you. I don’t understand why people call her ugly. She isn’t gorgeous, IMO, but calling her ugly is harsh.

  • Meshia

    @ So over this Ish-
    You damn right I’m bitter!!! Men of my race don’t appreciate my skin tone-that’s a problem for me-& thx for throwin’ in the bit about being light skinned-u must be so proud!

  • Really Though?

    As a black women myself I can say that your hate of anyone “light-skinned” isn’t making you seem any more attractive to black men. Maybe the problem is you. Not the color of your skin.

  • Angie

    It sure is strange. I’ve noticed this all my life that when a dark skinned man date a light skinned woman, I hear many people say he is with her because of her skin tone ,but when a light skinned man date a dark skinned woman which happens a whole lot, I don’t hear many complaints. It seems to be a double standard, that it is okay to dog out light-complected women, but if you dog out a dark complected woman than that is considered bad. It is bad to attack anyone , especially attacking people based on race or skin color. There are many men all across the world who love beautiful dark complected women and many who love light complected women. You will find the love of your life once you love yourself first and stop attacking and hating on others.

  • Miss September

    I honestly believe Tiny is pretty. I was like a lot of people, saying that she was ugly when I first really saw her on Tiny and Toya but now that I watch her show .I’m starting to think that she is more attractive. People place too much emphasis on looks also beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
    Beauty is subjective, everyone man isn’t going gaga over Halle Berry or Beyonce. I think the women who have something negative to say about Tiny are really insecure and basically want what she has.As a society we need to broaden what we define as attractive/beautiful.

  • So Over This Ish

    Meshia…no, boo, don’t get it twisted. I’m sure you are beautiful. Your skin tone is clearly not the problem. It is your attitude. I’m not attacking you. I’m just telling it like it is.

    Yes, I mentioned my light skin. Why? Because you believe that Black men are only interested in light-skinned and mixed women. This is not true. Just because it is true for some doesn’t mean it applies to all Black men. I have been overlooked by Black men who preferred darker girls. It is what it is. No shade. Some of these women were prettier than me…sorry to inform you that not all light-skinned women have a superiority complex. Some of us are actually down to earth if you would give us a chance.

    And why shouldn’t I be proud of who I am? Every woman should be confident. I’m not talking about arrogance, I mean confidence. Yes, I do love my light skin and long hair because this is the way I was made…not because I think I’m better than anybody else. You should love your beautiful brown skin because that is part of who you are. Every woman should love her skin, her hair, and what she looks like.

    Like I said, I won’t deny that the beauty of darker women often goes unrecognized but being bitter about it really doesn’t help you. To assume that a man is with somebody just because of her skin is shallow, especially because you don’t know them personally.

    I’m sorry if colorstruck men have hurt you but you can’t take it out on people who just happen to be preferred by some guys. I will not be everyone’s cup of tea just because I’m light. It is what it is.

  • http://hairpolitik.com Alona

    I know exactly why they say “why her”? It’s because we’ve been conditioned to think all a woman has to offer is her looks-she looks just fine by the way. But, I think that men who can have any woman they want, at some point want to look for something more, someone with substance and confidence. Plus, I think when you’re a celebrity it can be hard to find someone you trust with your family, friends, finances, etc. So, I think they probably click because she was down with him long before he was the famous T.I. we know today. She was rich then, and probably had a huge hand in his success. So, for all we know, for a long time T.I. might have been asking “why me”? No disrespect to him. They seem happy and that’s really all that matters. If anything, this ought to make females check themselves, instead of trying to be the most beautiful woman in the room and cutting women down just for how they look or dress, perhaps we should focus more on getting our hustle on and being the “catch” we want, and that’ll naturally attract men (or women). #thinkaboutit

  • http://www.DCAfterWork.com AlesiaMichelle

    I <3 Tiny…

  • haffie

    I dont know much about Tiny’s life but brothers and sisters, looks is not all in life.My man and husband that i love so much since my teenage years is Haitian/American, dark skin,average looking but he is the nicest and most caring and loving man. He’s my best friend and my all.I know some of you will say ugly or average looking men always seem to get a pass when it comes to dating beautiful women but sometimes you can’t predict who you going to fall in love with.Tiny and TI look nice together,Tiny is not ugly so lets celebrate their hapiness and hope the best for them. She’s black, he’s black, what else do you want? Let’s stop hating. Personality, kindness, compassion, love, friendship, etc… are what make people fall in love. Looks fade over time through sickness and tragedies but it’s what you are inside that matters. The hidden person of the heart is what makes a person beautiful and when I first saw my baby almost 20 years ago, I saw something good in him till this day he’s still my addiction and I dont regret it a minute. Love conquers alll and sees past physical traits. Too bad some don’t see it that way and keep on making the same mistakes when dating. I am glad TI and Tiny saw past that and I am glad I did the same because we are very happy and still love each other like yesterday.

  • MilkChocolate

    Let’s be real, it’s true, a lot of famous black men flock to the lighter skinned sisters. There are songs about it and they say it in interviews. At least she’s a sister… A shallow brother like that couldn’t provide the mental stimulation a sister like me needs anyway. I’m 50 and look 35, my skin is chocolate, smooth and flawless. I still get carded occassionally. I love my dark skin and wouldn’t have it any other way.
    Oh yeah, I think Tiny and T.I. have found a way to make it work. She had his back when he was slangin and she was with Xscape. Not so attractive girls need love too…

  • Shannon

    YES HONEY. This article was ON IT!

  • lukewarm

    @meshia:

    Ha-Ha.Very true.But I think the author of this piece should look at herself; Ti is a favorite of hers-with his crass,sexist lyrics- WHAT does this say about her?

  • Celeste

    I don’t think this is a skin color issue. People said the same thing about Tameka when she was married to Usher.

    Women are going to hate. I had friends ask me why certain guys like me because I don’t fit the beauty standard, maybe because I have substance. Women who focus on looks and other superficial needs, are a dime a dozen.

    Man, this reminds me of Maya Angelou poem “Phenomenal Woman”, that’s me and women like Tiny.

    Phenomenal Woman

    Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
    I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
    But when I start to tell them,
    They think I’m telling lies.
    I say,
    It’s in the reach of my arms
    The span of my hips,
    The stride of my step,
    The curl of my lips.
    I’m a woman
    Phenomenally.
    Phenomenal woman,
    That’s me.

    I walk into a room
    Just as cool as you please,
    And to a man,
    The fellows stand or
    Fall down on their knees.
    Then they swarm around me,
    A hive of honey bees.
    I say,
    It’s the fire in my eyes,
    And the flash of my teeth,
    The swing in my waist,
    And the joy in my feet.
    I’m a woman
    Phenomenally.
    Phenomenal woman,
    That’s me.

    Men themselves have wondered
    What they see in me.
    They try so much
    But they can’t touch
    My inner mystery.
    When I try to show them
    They say they still can’t see.
    I say,
    It’s in the arch of my back,
    The sun of my smile,
    The ride of my breasts,
    The grace of my style.
    I’m a woman

    Phenomenally.
    Phenomenal woman,
    That’s me.

    Now you understand
    Just why my head’s not bowed.
    I don’t shout or jump about
    Or have to talk real loud.
    When you see me passing
    It ought to make you proud.
    I say,
    It’s in the click of my heels,
    The bend of my hair,
    the palm of my hand,
    The need of my care,
    ‘Cause I’m a woman
    Phenomenally.
    Phenomenal woman,
    That’s me.

    Maya Angelou

  • http://twitter.com/odie035 odessa scruggs (@odie035)

    Me and my bf watch Family Hustle and we always say it dosent Seem like he is that into her. She can be in the middle of a sentence he will cut her off and walk out of the room. It seems like more of a you had my back when you were on top(Tiny) and I was hustling and now I got you(T.I.). My mom did say how did she get him, she must got something on him. I thought she was a reformed alcoholic with the slurring words and ratchness.

Latest Stories

Teen Launches Hijab Project to Bridge the Gap Between Muslim and Non-Muslim Women

by

Future & Kanye’s ‘I Won’ Could Have Been a Great Love Song, But They Messed It Up

by

Study: Referring to Obesity as a Disease Encourages Unhealthy Eating Habits

by

5 Ways to Style an Awkward Length Afro

by
More in Relationships, t.i., the family hustle
Please, Don’t Love Me to Death
Love Stinks
Close