Every week, after “T.I. & Tiny: The Family Hustle” airs, I know I’m guaranteed to find a mixture of commentary about Mrs. Harris (aka Tiny)  throughout my Twitter feed. Not because of anything she may have said or done during the episode, but the subject never fails to be her looks. And it doesn’t just stop at Twitter. In fact, whenever the subject of T.I. or the show comes up, Tiny’s appearance always finds a way into the conversation–and it’s rarely anything positive. Her face. Her shape. Her hairstyles. Her choice of clothing. Her makeup. Tiny just can’t seem to catch a break.

But, why?

For the record, I’m not a Tiny fan. I don’t know much about her outside of the fact that she is wed to one of my favorite artists and she was a part of the group Xscape. But from what I’ve observed of her and T.I., they seem to have a good relationship. They’re both family oriented and despite their large blended family, they make things work. They enjoy each other’s company, and they have fun together. Their love seems real, and I like them together.

As an individual, Tiny seems caring and sweet. As a mother she comes across as loving and attentive. And as a wife she has proven herself to be loyal and devoted. So why is it so hard for people to accept her? Why is it so easy to poke fun at her?  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone say, “I don’t know how she pulled T.I.!” And I hear this especially from other women. Could it be that some of us have bought into the idea that men of a certain stature must have some dazzling beauty on their arm whether they make a good match for them or not? What about character, personality, and overall chemistry?

I think it’s deeper than Tiny. The bigger picture is that our society has become so consumed with looks and surface level attraction that we often fail to see past all of that. We mentally pair people together based on fame, looks and stature when quite often these handsome couples are void of sincere compatibility or anything in common besides looking good together in a photo op. And while T.I. and Tiny may not be the prototype for healthy marriages, I believe there’s more to their relationship than just physical attraction (and not that I’m ruling that out).

I admit, I used to be one to look at certain couples and scratch my head, and from time-to-time I still catch myself still doing it. He is too cute for her or she is too pretty for him, I would think to myself. But it wasn’t until I fell for someone who wasn’t what I thought was “my type.” I never thought this person was attractive, yet his personality truly won me over. We clicked. We bonded. And we got each other. It’s that thing many people experience in life, when you realize there’s more to love than a great smile, charming words, and a nice physique. You find that there’s something at our core, beneath our pretty or not so pretty exteriors that bonds us to another soul, despite what package it comes in.

We often call out artists for constantly displaying such unrealistic and unhealthy images of women in their videos, but when we see an artist settle down with someone like Tiny she gets ridiculed. Why subject each other as women to such double standards? It’s hard enough trying to embrace our own unique beauty, why make it hard for the next woman.

No, Tiny doesn’t look like the average girl from a video, and she is no more glamorous than the average girl around the way. She’s down-to-earth; she’s not picture-perfect, and who says she has to be? None of this should matter. True beauty is not what you see but it’s the essence of a person reflected in their actions, spirit and the good that they give of themselves to others. Overall, I think it’s unfair Tiny gets so much flack simply because of her looks. If she’s is to be critiqued, let it be for something more substantial than the fact that she does not fit everyone’s standard of beauty. And of course, that goes for anyone else.

So the next time we look at a couple and think “Why her?” or “Why him?” let’s challenge ourselves to wonder, why not? And if we can’t think of an anything beyond the surface, if we dig deeper, we just may be able to find the answer.

  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com/ African Mami

    I like guys that are not physically all the way there….so I can relate to her plight. Iunno. Shallow but eh, it’s life…keep it moving. So long as I like him…why should you or the other rat care?!

  • NY’s Finest

    To me both Tiny and T.I. look like regular people from the block, it’s not like he’s ridiculously handsome, so I really don’t get all the negative talk about her looks. All I know is I’m so very tired of ugly ass men talking about who is and isn’t a dime.

  • CD86

    [I couldn't care less really. I rarely ask the, "Why him?" or "Why her?" questions.]

    [For me, I have a male friend who wants to date me. He is a good looking guy, but I don't think we would mesh well as a couple. Plus, I am not attracted to him emotionally. And then, I have another male friend who isn't exactly unattractive, but not my type physically, but he is a very cool guy and his personality is what I like.]

    [This topic reminds me of how on Twitter and other social networks, I frequently see people make statements about men cheating on their wife/girlfriend with an 'ugly hoe'. It's as if people are more accepting of cheating as long as the person is cheating with a 'good looking' person.]

    I guess for Tameka and Clifford, people expect her to be top notch since rappers are always ‘rapping’ about a woman who is practically perfect.

  • chanela

    i hate when people act this way over looks. i’ve seen some AMAZING sexy ass guys but they’re either jerks,whores,or too damn conceited. this is why i don’t trust super good looking guys anymore.lol

    i don’t judge men on looks too much. i don’t give a damn about how good they look. i’m more about how they are as a person.

  • Tami

    I hear a lot of people talk about how ugly Tiny is. One morning I was listening to a radio station & they spent 10 whole minutes talking about how ugly she was. In my eyes, she is not a great beauty but she isn’t ugly either. I like her & TI together. Their chemistry seems mad crazy & they appear to be in love. I don’t think you can fake that. It’s not all about looks…It’s all about love.

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