Woman Sleeping in BedWhen I first met my vibrator, I was twenty years old, looking to enhance my art of masturbation, and add more power to my orgasms. I had been touching myself since I was 11, mainly with my fingers and occasional objects. But I had never experienced a deep orgasm until the second time I had sex, and it felt like all the energy being built in my vagina dispersed to every cell in my anatomy. It was an intense feeling I could never seem to get myself to again without a sexual partner, but I kept hearing how women were experiencing similar types of orgasms through vibrating toys.

With a guy I was dating, I went to a sex shop and he purchased my first vibrating rabbit dildo, which was followed by a vibrating “pelvic floor” massager gifted by the host of a media appearance I did. Both toys had multiple vibration settings, and when applied to my clitoris, I’d feel powerful orgasms shoot through my body within seconds, matching many of the sensations I’d felt with my sexual partners.

I was addicted.

I’d go to work, come home, and play with my toys. I’d still have sex with the guy I was dating, but all of the sudden it became a simple “option” instead of a necessity to fulfill my sexual urges. I learned how liberating masturbation really could be for women. And I reveled in my newfound power to get myself off in a powerful way.

But there was one thing; I noticed that the initial vibration settings that I used when I first got my vibrator were no longer enough to “get me off.” I found myself increasing the power of each toy’s vibration until I eventually hit the maximum setting. Otherwise, I wouldn’t get the same powerful orgasm that I was addicted to feeling. And that was a problem.

As a sexuality writer, I read a lot of literature and research on sex. And when I really dove into learning more about the clitoris’ anatomy and how many nerves women really have down there, I realized that the power of vibrators might be great for providing powerful orgasmic shocks but they also numb some of our nerves after repeated use.

What I was feeling in terms of needing stronger vibrations to get my orgasmic fix was my nerves getting number to touch. Now I needed strong, powerful finger strokes or vibrations to get my juices flowing, when before I only needed a light rub, tongue tickle, or touch by my partner.

So I decided to take a break from using my toys. And eventually, my addiction faded. I began to only use them maybe once or twice a month. I focused on getting my clitoris and vaginal sensations responsive again to light touches and mere thoughts. Now, I’m at a place where I feel more sensitive in that area than ever. And I’m not willing to lose it.

I had an orgasm recently from my fingers gently stroking my clitoris, and my body shook like someone took me by the shoulders and was trying to shake me awake from the dead. It was that powerful. I realized that I didn’t need my toys. And that natural masturbation can give you just as much pleasure as vibrators if you take the time to train and focus on your senses down there.

It’s official. I’m breaking up with my vibrator.

Do you use vibrators to frequently masturbate? Or do you find it better to solely depend on your hands and non-vibrating objects? Speak on it.

  • http://HeyEpiphora.com Epiphora

    “when I really dove into learning more about the clitoris’ anatomy and how many nerves women really have down there, I realized that the power of vibrators might be great for providing powerful orgasmic shocks but they also numb some of our nerves after repeated use.”

    This is a misrepresentation. Vibrators can numb the vulva, yes, but TEMPORARILY. If you use something extremely powerful like the Hitachi Magic Wand, then yes, your vulva will be numb for an hour or so. It does not cause any permanent damage or change how sensitive your nerve endings are. It’s basically the same as your foot falling asleep, or your hands going numb from holding a vibrating power tool.

    By all means do what feels right to you, and if that means “dumping” your vibrator then go for it. Just don’t claim to be a “sexuality writer” while being unable to use the words “vulva” or “clitoris”… and don’t spread misinformation.

  • Property Of Potter

    I think it’s fantastic that you saw it causing an issue in your life, and did something about it. However, wanting to use sex toys (and often, even) isn’t a bad thing in general. Naturally, everyone’s situation greatly differs, but there’s nothing wrong with desiring something that feels good.

    The first time I used a vibrator was eight years ago. It was cheap, buzzy, and did nothing for me. I tossed it to the side since using my hands was something I had always done anyway. A few years later I decided to try out new things, and discovered that I needed deeper, more powerful vibrations in order to climax.

    Over the past three years I have reviewed and tested over 100 different vibrators and masturbate nearly every day. I’ve actually gained sensitivity over time. I can climax with weaker vibrations now than when I first started this journey. Yes, some products make me temporarily feel numb, but it fades.

    My point is, it sounds like you did the right thing for you. You felt it was something that was becoming an issue and you did something about. But it’s not something everyone needs to do, even those of us who enjoy pleasuring ourselves on a daily basis.

  • Lunabelle

    Dear women reading this article and wondering if you should also dump your vibrator,
    Unless you are currently experiencing side effects of vibrator use that negatively impact your sex life, there’s no need to change. I got my first vibrator 26 years ago. My clit still responds to other forms of stimulation, and the only side effect I have experienced is a whole lot of orgasms. The idea that vibrator use will inevitably lead to long-lasting desensitization is not supported by science.
    I feel like this article may scare women away from using or trying vibrators, and that’s not good. Plenty of women have never been able to get off without a vibe, and I hate the thought that someone out there may resign themselves to an orgasm-free existence out of needless fear.
    If you love your vibrator, DON’T set it free.

  • Sincerely Yours, N

    I don’t think that “toys before boys” or “boys before toys” is an argument that needs a one size fits all winner.

    For some people, such as the writer, I understand that the vibrator might have been negative. Granted, permanent damage to nerve endings can’t really happen from vibrations (they’re not THAT strong), but, if vibrators cause them distress, then they can always choose to stop using it.

    However, for others, such as myself, vibrators actually opened up the world of orgasm to us. I was never able to orgasm before I started using vibrators, and now I can – even without them! They’ve actually made me more aware of what I find pleasurable, and, with that, more easily pleased.

    So basically, if you don’t like vibrators, don’t use them. If you love your vibrator, don’t break up with it. If you’re unsure about vibrators – try one. It’s not like there’s some law that tells you that you have to use your vibrator if you have one, even if you don’t want to.

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