Women have long complained of lackluster lovers and men who have over-talked their abilities in the sack only to show up limp and completely underwhelming. But one man is turning the tables.

Esquire writer Chris Jones penned an article for the April issue of the glossy that basically told women that they ain’t all that.

He writes:

“…most women act as though they’re sexual Olympians, as though they’re doing the men in their lives the greatest of favors merely by presenting themselves like a downed deer strapped to the hood of a car. Some of you are deluding yourselves. Sex is not like pizza. Only blowjobs are.”

Oh, really?

But fear not ladies, Jones has a few tips in case your sex game isn’t on point.

“Like, maybe grab a mirror and spend some time learning how your own body works. It’s nice, too, when you don’t treat our semen like it’s battery acid,” he advises.

Let me go write that down. </sarcasm>

Esquire is a men’s mag, and I know Jones is playing to the home crowd, but I found his tone a little too condescending and mean. While I agree that women should know their bodies to better help their partners get them off, hurling his “advice” at all women–which, I assume, includes his wife–is just a bit off-putting.

But as he said, he’d rate himself as “not totally unpleasant, but not totally pleasant, either,” so I guess he knows what he’s talking about.

  • Tonton Michel

    Lol, tsk, tsk still trying to make a bigger deal out of this than it is? Here you go pulling my “johnson’s” business in here trying to get a rise out of me, like I’m some insecure school boy. Thank you for concern about my sexual abilities and the orgasm of the woman I sleep with but I assure you we are doing fine. You however might want to concern your self with yours and that nasty little insecurity of yours that’s showing right through your words.

  • omfg

    again, reading and comprehension are fundamental.

    you may read something and not quite be able to contextualize things.

    i on the other hand can contextualize. lol.

    and what you’re seeing is someone is, is aghast that any man actually has the audacity to complain about a woman’s skills in bed when his skills are probably next to nil as the rate of orgasm in women can attest. yes, i find a complaining man like you and the esquire author galling. truly. i really do.

    also, as my past guys can attest, i have no insecurity about this issue. they always want me. i don’t worry about my ability to satisfy them. but, they should worry about whether they have satisfied me enough. most times my dear, i wear them down. they cannot handle me. ha ha.

  • Tonton Michel

    Yeah, OK……

  • Chocolate_cyn

    Lol seman is worse than battery acid. No one has a moral objection to fixing my chemical burn situation, but let my “barely keeping my head above water” butt get knocked up due to contact with seman and it’s a congressional hearing on me getting my rocks off to relieve a little stress

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