Since the beginning of time we’ve heard about the life altering, war-starting, man-taming Power of the P**sy.  Some of us have gotten the expensive trinkets, breakfast in bed and the fancy trips all because of our ability to whip a man into a frenzy,  but unfortunately, this isn’t a self praising moment.  Instead, think back to a time when you or your cohorts were all strung out over the penis.  Yep, I said it ― the “Power of the Penis” , a.k.a “dick whipped,” a.k.a “sprung.”  Don’t worry, if you’re too embarrassed to admit it to yourself…I’ll confess on your behalf.

As a young woman with many ‘male’ mistakes, I remember my first penis hypnosis.  It’s irrelevant whether he was worth an ounce of my time, love, or body (turns out he wasn’t), but dude could ‘lay pipe’ and at that moment in life, I’d snatch a few weaves, spare a few dollars, and sweat a fresh perm out just for a quickie.  Heck, I’ve even gone as far as sponsoring a Vegas trip (go ahead, give me the side-eye). But, this isn’t about my terrible decisions.  It’s about young women, like myself, who are and have been so badly caught up even a come to Jesus meeting can’t shake them straight.

Like Jill Scott so eloquently sang about in “So Gone,” I’ve dickmatized a time or two, and I’m not ashamed to say it.

How does a seemingly smart girl end up in such a bad situation? Let’s explore a few of the situations shall we?

Situation 1

You guys have called it quits but remain booty buddies.  He tells you no more late night creeps, cheap dates or event stand-ins.  He has a new chick in his life and well, cue the river flow of tears and heartbreak, you start to spiral out of control and beg him to make things work between the two of you.  You’re in hopelessly in love, it’s obvious he’s not. Score on for the dick.

Situation 2

You’re a gal with her head on straight, working hard.  He’s unemployed and lives at home with his mother. (We’ll give him the benefit of the doubt the economy is bad).  But, this brother refuses to get any type of hustle going.  You pay for all the dates, you always have to drive and the late night creep sessions always happen on your turf.  Let’s not forget you have to “spot” him on gas money.  This is that Jody and Yvette drama, but you just can’t seem to shake it. The D wins again.

Situation 3

You want a relationship. He doesn’t.  Yet, you convince yourself that you don’t want one either just to stay in his good graces.   You continue to play his game, never confessing how badly you want the two of you to be an item.  Instead, you settle for a nameless title in his life and continue to be the “friend with benefits.” You guessed it, you lose.

What do all these situations have in common?  You are allowing an individual to control your mind all because of his penis game. But whatever the case may be, there’s never a good reason to trip all out over a brother who can ‘lay the pipe’ but lacks what you really need—respect, stability, concern, a true emotional connection. You know, the basics.  Thankfully, I came to the realization that my former booty buddy wasn’t the only gifted pipe layer or well ‘packaged’ man.  At that moment, I snapped out the trance ― and considering myself a sexually confident woman today—no man’s penis game can have me acting out of character every again.  Why?

  1. I’ve dealt with the consequences of being labeled the “crazy girl”
  2. I’ve suffered at the hands of a penis hypnosis’ victim
  3. It’s just not worth my sanity

 Have you ever been hypnotized by ‘The Power of the P’?  How did you break your trance?  

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  • RenJennM

    It’s weird, but I’ve never been dicknotized. If anything, I was more hooked on possibility (possibility of monogamy, a relationship, long-term, whatever). Only one guy’s dick was good enough to drive me wild; but ironically it never did. Though his goods were good (and his head game produced a pleasure I thought only the gods could create), I never was TRULY physically attracted to him. Trust me, making sure the lights were out helped A LOT.

    I know it sounds weird. But I’m really big on looks. I’m a very visual person (almost voyeuristically so), so I adore a person’s beauty. I love a good-looking man (hell, a good-looking woman ain’t bad either). Maybe it’s because I’m still pretty young, but I really just can’t get over looks right now. If you’re not that great-looking, it’s very easy for me to get over you, even if you’re a great guy (with great dick).

    As good as sex is and can be, it doesn’t faze me enough to get hypnotized by. In fact, I’m currently on my 11th month of celibacy. I shut down all past and potential partners. My love life was headed into a bad direction, so I thought that maybe cutting sex out of it and looking for love (or at least like) would help. Sex really is overrated at times. It’s great, but not dicknotized great. I’m only 23, and I feel like I’ve already learned my lessons. I don’t “hope” for a relationship anymore, and I don’t hope for a bad guy to change into a better one. If a guy doesn’t want me “like that”, I’m keeping it moving. Ain’t no dick in the world worth my happiness.

    Besides, I believe that maybe sex isn’t all that to me because I’ve never made love before. I’ve had sex, but I’ve never made love. I’ve just never associated the two to each other. Ever. I’ve had sex with a man that I was in love with, but the sex didn’t enhance the love for me; it was just enjoyable. Maybe if I finally make love, I’ll experience that dicknotization. lol Until, then… nope!

    • Amazing Kim, like the OP, I keep thinking what heanpped to me wasn’t really attempted rape, because rape is something horrible that happens in dark alleys and I wasn’t hurt that badly, and what difference does it make, and rape is such an awful word anyway and and and Only recently did I start to consider what heanpped to me as a man setting me up for rape. After we’d discussed my wanting to wait on having sex; after he had described how, if he wanted to rape someone and not get caught, he’d get a woman really drunk (but that would be wrong, he was quick to assure me); we went out drinking till I was too drunk to stand, and he tried to rape me when I couldn’t fight back. (And I’ve just edited that sentence twice to make it say what actually heanpped because I wasn’t hurt, and he didn’t mean anything by it, and I’m just casting suspicion on him and and and .)I tried to write about this a while ago but the guy in question is reading my blog now, as is one of our mutual friends, and I don’t feel trying to defend myself again But he didn’t mean anything by it and he was sorry afterwards! (Yeah sorry I started screaming and crying. Because after I stopped crying, he dumped me for not having sex with him.)It’s been over 10 years. But I still can’t call it what it was.

  • E.M.S.

    I’ll be damned if I ever compromise anything in my life for good sex, that is just pathetic to me, for both genders. There are far more important things in life, like your own integrity, character, and sense of self. Please.

    I’m sorry but any one who jumps through hoops because someone is good in bed needs to get it together.