Beware of Dream Killers

by Risa Dixon

One thing my mother always told me growing up was not to share my dreams and/or ideas with everyone. When I was younger I thought this was stupid because I always wanted to share my ideas with others. I was extremely excited about the things I came up with and thought others would be too. I quickly learned that this was not the case with most people.

Dream killers are people who constantly shoot down your aspirations with harsh negativity. I learned that when people can’t see themselves reaching for the stars they can’t, or rather don’t, want to see you reaching them as well. These dream killers can be friends, family or acquaintances. When you share your goals with these people all they can do is tell you everything that could go wrong and how unattainable success really is. The sad thing is that some of the dream killers don’t really offer these words of “wisdom” with malice, but see themselves as just being “realistic.” They feel that dreams are not reality and therefore it is there job to bring you back down to earth with their cynicism. Others believe they are simply warning you that things don’t always go the way you want and that you should be prepared for disappointment. Then we have the regular old haters who realize that you have a great idea and admire your ambition, but they can’t fathom the idea of supporting you.

The way to avoid dream killers is by keeping your dreams to yourself. Let your work and eventual success speak for you. Others will be surprised when they discover how well you are doing and you will simply chuckle to yourself because this was part of your plan all the time.

We don’t have to babble to everyone about every good idea that comes into our heads. We never really know what others think of u. In all actuality, the negativity is a sign of how they view themselves because they can’t offer encouragement for something that they can’t see themselves doing. They are complacent with being mediocre and can’t understand those who want to go beyond the status quo. I have seen people get discouraged about something as fundamental as pursuing a higher education or wanting to lose weight and become a fitness trainer.

Sometimes it is best to keep your dreams to yourself and allow them to manifest in secret without being contaminated with poison from dream killers.

  • lulu

    the is one of the best blogs on here- i say this all the time- dont tell people your plans–because some people dont want to see you succeed

  • KristinaAmira

    Well….If you tell people your dream, helpful people will help you reach your dream, share advice, ideas, connections, so forth. Keep the dream killers out of your life to your best ability and surround yourself with people who want to help you. Pretty much, most people in life are helpful instead of wanting to see you fail. I guess it’s a philosophy you have to learn in order to reap the benefits.

  • Nigerian sista

    I learnt this the hard way. But hey, in life you live and you learn!

  • Steff

    I too had to learn this the hard way. Of all people in the world my dream killer is my dad! Everytime i have an idea he is quick to be “realistic” and tell me how its not going to work. The craziest thing is that if and when these ideas do come to me i still run and tell him in the hope that he will be the encouraging dad ive always wanted. But it ends in dissappointment and i normally forget the idea for lack of confidence in myself. However ive decided to go through with one of my busines ideas and will not tell him a single thing until i am semi established. Lets hope i can keep my mouth shut!

  • Gene Bedley

    I made a list of 12 reasons why dreams fail accompanied by 12 reasons Why people succeed with their Dreams
    I’m on a mission to American School Teachers to support Bold Dreams as well design and fuel the dreams of our youth. Im going to add one more thanks to your candid insight and introspection Risa ! Lets accelerate and expedite the dreams of a lifetime. Our future depends on dreams!!!

    In your balcony cheering you on!
    Gene Bedley, National Educator of the Year

    ps I’ll be glad to email a copy of the list to anyone that request a copy
    [email protected]

  • secret6

    Most dream killers can’t see beyond their own self-imposed limitations, therefore, they can’t understand the possibility that everyone doesn’t feel limited in life. They embrace those limitations, as opposed to trying to find a way to make a dream come true.

  • La, California Dreaming (Ocean Blue)

    My mother isn’t a dream killer, but the person who congratulates you, then says something negative at the same time.

  • Beautiful Mic

    Grammatical error, Sentence #10 (the use of ‘there’, versus ‘their’)

    - “They feel that dreams are not reality and therefore it is there job to bring you back down to earth with their cynicism.”

    The 12th word should be ‘their’ not ‘their’. The world was used correctly the 2nd time it’s used in the sentence.

    I hope, as I continue to pursue my degree and write more and more research papers that I’ll be this observant in my own work. lol.

  • Beautiful Mic

    So true. Someone told me this long ago. And for a time, when I didn’t share my dreams and goals, things did work out better for me. I focused on the possibilities instead of the struggles.

    But, when you need ‘support’ to get through the struggles, that’s when you start sharing…and you, again, invite the dream killers. Not only that, you’re sharing your problems, of which people just don’t want to hear.

    Yeah, but keeping dreams to oneself is import in achieving them, and you have to find your own strength, survival instinct, to get through ‘the valleys’ on your own.

  • Pearlsrevealed

    I just want to sing the praises of dream CHAMPIONS!

    Last week I interviewed for a job that I am very well capable of doing but it IS NOT what I really what to do. I was attracted to the pay and flexibility of the position knowinf full well that the work would kill my soul.

    On Saturday (which lately has become my hermit-in-hiding-dont-go-nowhere-turn-off-all- electronic- media-hide-under-the-covers-and-tune-out-day) I turned on my phone late in the afternoon and I received and answered 3 calls. When I told two friends who I rarely chat with what I had done they all said “Girl don’t do that! You don’t want that!” One of them had just landed their dream job on Thursday and said they wrote down what they wanted and ALL the things they wanted.

    Today I am pullilng out my “must-have” list and my old vision board to hold fast to my dreams. So glad God sent 3 dream champion angels to slap me back to destiny.

  • Yewande

    Hmm your mother does that to, it can be frustrating at times.

  • Hate dream killers

    F! the DREAM KILLERS. Hate them so much!

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