On Being A Dark Skinned Black Woman
I am a dark skinned Black woman. Or at least I think I am.
Not that I often define myself as such, nor do I’ve ever remember being defined thus. Which is to say I try not to think about it. I was never teased for not being particularly light, nor is my skin so obviously dark that it is ‘blue-black’ like my younger brother, my father, or the complexion of my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins on my dad’s side. Theirs is skin with a gloss finish, it sucks in all surrounding light and sends it back out as a flat glow, mine is a much plainer, matte. I know that by popular standards of beauty and in the unwritten rules of women invited to grace the covers of magazines, dance in music videos and appear as love interests in general releases I am dark. Which is to say, the ladies that regularly occupy those roles are usually much lighter than me and if I ever found myself in a room with them I would know for sure I was the dark one.
I don’t care that Kevin Hart likes to make ‘jokes’ that women the same colour as me have bad credit. Just as I didn’t care that Lil’ Wayne mused in ‘Right Above It’ that a certain black woman would ‘look better red.’ I don’t care for Young Berg’s pool test. Or that Tyrese believes going with the best means omitting black women. Or that Ne-Yo thinks “all the prettiest kids are light skinned anyway.” Taken individually these slights seem too ridiculous to consider. I don’t take them personally; I tut at them; I brush them off.
But when I think about what these single ideas add up to, of course, I care. How could I not?
I’m crushed by caring. Because they perpetuate an understanding that to be a dark skinned woman is to be less. These ideas build themselves into assumptions and ways of treating women with as much melanin as me. I care because I already know dark skinned women are likely to receive longer prison sentences and less likely to get jobs when qualifications are equal. I care because too often our bodies are used as backdrops or props (i.e. Bella Padilla on the cover of FHM, ‘emerging from the shadows’). Think of how often you see women the same colour as me as surly, head rolling, loud-talking, finger-snapping comic relief (think Pam from Martin). I care because grotesque representations like Makode Aj Linde’s cake/performance art seem to be the only consistent representations of dark skinned black women. I also care about light skinned black women, who are women of colour too, and I do not want to continually feel set against them.
I think of all the dark skinned women I know. I think of how regularly they are excluded, insulted, mistreated. I see them all suspended in a place that isn’t a place, stranded it seems. I’m eager to watch Bill Duke and D. Channsin Berry’s Dark Girls documentary, and I’m holding out for its kinship.
i LOVE dark skin!
Nicely written article…I like that she isn’t coming across as a victim
Also, I LOVE that picture and that headpiece she’s wearing…FIERCENESS!
This colorstruckness is a cancer that will most likely not ever go away..it is such a sad thing.
I love my dark skin..I’m forever exfoliating and moisturizing and drinking tons of water so that it can glow and radiate w/o makeup.
I was not color conscious growing up…I was definitely more body conscious.
However, growing up in the south, I always overheard ppl talking about color and ‘good hair’
It is time that us women stop letting the media, other men, and even family members effect they way that we feel about ourselves.
Man oh man, do you know how BEAUTIFUL it would be to see all of us Black women (of every shade) walking confidently down the street, treating our bodies right, not chasing after low life men, actually smiling at each other, embracing our natural hair texture, and pursuing our passions??? They wouldnt know what to do with us…we’d be throwing the whole equilibrium off
YEESSSS! Especially your last paragraph….We, as Black women can make that a reality. The power is in our hands. We are so powerful- if only we could claim it.
I really think all this moaning is doing a disservice to the generation after us. Some of us are light, some brown, some dark, let’s stop going on about what a burden it is. Our kids are listening, we arent healing them, we are simply giving them more issues.
F*ck what Neyo, Weezy or anyone has to say. Do you!!!!
Actually, this NEEDS to be discussed before any more generations after us continue this poisonous cycle.
It’s always on the subject of the issues of dark-skinned women where people wanna get all quiet and wanna stop the conversation. Why is that? I always hear about all the atrocities that light-skinned women have gone through and it’s met with compassion, empathy, even lent extra voices to scorn those ‘jealous dark-skinned girls’ whose made her life so miserable.
But a dark-skinned girl? We’re told to shut it up and realize that ‘everybody is beautiful’. I’m sick of the double standard.
So yes, this needs to be discussed until we’re blue in the face and beyond….
goldilox
agreed
we need to show unconditional love to the babies and teach them from the start that they are different and special because of that.
@HowApropos
this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I agree with HowApropos, it does need to be discussed and not ignored. That is why I wrote my recent article posted on CBL regarding dark skinned self-hatred. While I would love to say that the opinions of those in pop culture like Lil Wayne, Kevin Hart and Neyo don’t matter, they do to young black girls who listen to them religiously. Their parents should be shielding them from all that tells them they’re not good enough because they’re black and dark skinned, but they simply don’t.
The generation that came before us didn’t have these discussions when we were coming up, which is why we’re in the situation we’re in now. I grew up in a family where light skin was quietly praised. I cringed recently when I witnessed a young 15-year old dark skinned nephew of mine hold a newborn baby and say “aww what a beautiful light skinneded lil baby!” The brainwashing continues generation after generation.
I’m happy that the site has decided to tackle this dark-light issue after all and that was a beautiful article penned by Ms. Bivigou, thank you.
I agree with HowApropos, it does need to be discussed and not ignored. That is why I wrote my recent article posted on CBL regarding dark skinned self-hatred. While I would absolutely LOVE to be able to say that the opinions of those in pop culture like Lil Wayne, Kevin Hart, Nikki Minaj and Neyo don’t matter, they do to young black girls who listen to them religiously. Their parents should be shielding them from all that tells them they’re not good enough because they’re black and dark skinned, but they simply don’t.
The generation that came before us didn’t have these discussions when we were coming up, which is why we’re in the situation we’re in now. I grew up in a family where light skin was quietly praised. I cringed recently when I witnessed a young 15-year old dark skinned nephew of mine hold a newborn baby and say “aww what a beautiful light skinneded lil baby!” The brainwashing continues generation after generation.
I’m happy that the site has decided to tackle this dark-light issue after all and that was a beautiful article penned by Ms. Bivigou, thank you.