On Being A Dark Skinned Black Woman
I am a dark skinned Black woman. Or at least I think I am.
Not that I often define myself as such, nor do I’ve ever remember being defined thus. Which is to say I try not to think about it. I was never teased for not being particularly light, nor is my skin so obviously dark that it is ‘blue-black’ like my younger brother, my father, or the complexion of my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins on my dad’s side. Theirs is skin with a gloss finish, it sucks in all surrounding light and sends it back out as a flat glow, mine is a much plainer, matte. I know that by popular standards of beauty and in the unwritten rules of women invited to grace the covers of magazines, dance in music videos and appear as love interests in general releases I am dark. Which is to say, the ladies that regularly occupy those roles are usually much lighter than me and if I ever found myself in a room with them I would know for sure I was the dark one.
I don’t care that Kevin Hart likes to make ‘jokes’ that women the same colour as me have bad credit. Just as I didn’t care that Lil’ Wayne mused in ‘Right Above It’ that a certain black woman would ‘look better red.’ I don’t care for Young Berg’s pool test. Or that Tyrese believes going with the best means omitting black women. Or that Ne-Yo thinks “all the prettiest kids are light skinned anyway.” Taken individually these slights seem too ridiculous to consider. I don’t take them personally; I tut at them; I brush them off.
But when I think about what these single ideas add up to, of course, I care. How could I not?
I’m crushed by caring. Because they perpetuate an understanding that to be a dark skinned woman is to be less. These ideas build themselves into assumptions and ways of treating women with as much melanin as me. I care because I already know dark skinned women are likely to receive longer prison sentences and less likely to get jobs when qualifications are equal. I care because too often our bodies are used as backdrops or props (i.e. Bella Padilla on the cover of FHM, ‘emerging from the shadows’). Think of how often you see women the same colour as me as surly, head rolling, loud-talking, finger-snapping comic relief (think Pam from Martin). I care because grotesque representations like Makode Aj Linde’s cake/performance art seem to be the only consistent representations of dark skinned black women. I also care about light skinned black women, who are women of colour too, and I do not want to continually feel set against them.
I think of all the dark skinned women I know. I think of how regularly they are excluded, insulted, mistreated. I see them all suspended in a place that isn’t a place, stranded it seems. I’m eager to watch Bill Duke and D. Channsin Berry’s Dark Girls documentary, and I’m holding out for its kinship.
No No No!
This is the topic that won’t die. I swear I refuse to think that dark-skinned blk women have such sad awful lives. A lot of this is for attention and page hits. If anything, article after article like this is making it tuff for dark-skinned blk women since you’re airing “dirty laundry” to the masses.
Being that your not dark skinned, your willingness to dismiss their pain and what they feel is an issue runs parallel to whites dismissals of racism to blacks and men’s dismissal of misogyny and sexism to women. Best thing to do is to look around and see it from their eyes.
I must admit that when I first read her comment I didn’t see it, but once again Tonton is right.
Take out the dark skinned and black and you’re left with:
“No No No!
This is the topic that won’t die. I swear I refuse to think that women have such sad awful lives. A lot of this is for attention and page hits. If anything, article after article like this is making it tuff for women since you’re airing “dirty laundry” to the masses.”
This is not a knock at you Chic Noir, but you know if a poster came in here with that nonsense, you would roast them as you rightfully should.
Are you serious bro,
Yes I would and while I’m not dark-skinned, I’m not light-skinned either. I just refuse to believe that the bulk of Americans can’t recognize a beautiful dark-skinned woman when they see her. You think Gabrielle Union isn’t turning heads whether in the suburbs or the hood. Come on my friend.
I know dark-skinned women who aren’t always bemoaning the fact that they have dark skin.
You can refuse to belive whatever you want, that doesn’t make it untrue. A lot of white people REFUSE to believe in racism, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
@Chichnoir
I absolutely hate all of your comments with a passion, on every article that you post. You are either white, or a self hating blk woman because you always seem to want blk issues to go away. I’m not dark skinned but I am blk and deeply sympathize with my blk dark skinned sisters because they are my sisters. Although I think it is sad that this is a discussion in the blk community, it doesn’t take away that fact that it is still reality. If Dark skinned Blk Woman want to express their pain, they have every right to do that. I ‘m sick of seeing my sisters hurting. Dark skin is the most beautiful. @ Charlita I agree.
I definitely agree with regards to the dirty laundry. This documentary will not heal wounds. It will just broadcast another one of our problems for the whole world to see.
It is just like Good Hair did not help, but non-blacks could see the extreme lengths we go to to straighten our hair and then call us crazy. Just like going on Oprah and talking about not being able to find a good black man doesn’t help black women find men, and it demonizes black men. We already know about these things. Making a documentary to show how we have colorism issues will not keep the Kevin Harts from saying ignorant things. It will not make rappers put dark skinned girls as their lead girl.
But that is another thing to talk about – black people supporting ignorance and then being offended when these people turn their ignorance on you. For some reason, we decided that it would be nice if the black celebrities representing us to the rest of the world were low class, ignorant thugs rather than classy people.
I absolutely hate all of your comments with a passion, on every article that you post.
Good, skip my comments.
No I’m blk and the difference between people like you and myself is I don’t believe in crying over spilled milk. I also don’t believe every dark-skinned blk woman cries herself to sleep at night because she is dark skinned. I wish a dark-skinned sister would post an article about how warm and happy her life is in addition to having deep chocolate skin Sure she has had some idiots make negative comments about her skin but she has never gone without a date because she has dark-skin nor did she let her dark-skin stop her from applying to medical school.
If/when blk buys didn’t want her, she dated men who did see Whoopi Goldberg.
I’m not dark skinned but I am blk and deeply sympathize with my blk dark skinned sisters because they are my sisters
As do I but I refuse to think all dark-skinned blk women live horrible lives. I suspect you like this sort of thing because it makes you feel better.
You are either white, or a self hating blk woman because you always seem to want blk issues to go away.
Point to one of my comments where I wrote this or even hinted as much???? I want dark-skinned women to turn off the TV when the BS gets too heavy. Go look for positive images of themselves because they are out there.
Not go crying on Tyra’s show about being dark-skinned… international television mind you to tell the world how much they hate themselves. At most you get is pity. Who the hell wants pity + you embarrasses other dark-skinned blk women who don’t feel this way about themselves.
Charlita,
At no point did I say colorism doesn’t exist. I’ve heard people make comments but I’m the type to “pull a person’s card” on the spot about it. I stand up to bullies unless I’m outnumbered.
At the same time I don’t think every dark-skinned blk woman hates herself because she is dark. Why is this angering so many of you??? Why do you want to think every single dark-skin Blk woman has deep issues of self-hatred???
Have you seen videos of Roshumba??? Does she strike you as self hating??? She wore a short afro during a time when wearing an afro wasn’t the tea.
Think of how often you see women the same colour as me as surly, head rolling, loud-talking, finger-snapping comic relief (think Pam from Martin).
And this is where as blk women we come down on blk actresses who “perform” roles like this. Didn’t blk folks come down on Hattie McDaniel for that BS. Yeah I know her response but still we should not be regressing to the days of Dorothy Dandridge and Lena Horne.
I also care about light skinned black women, who are women of color too, and I do not want to continually feel set against them.
That’s right queen, it’s good ole divide and conquer. Don’t fall for it.
I care because grotesque representations like Makode Aj Linde’s cake/performance art seem to be the only consistent representations of dark skinned black women.
Oh this isn’t true. I find consistent representation of dark-skinned blk women every month. Just look at the Nordstrom and Neiman Marcus catalogs for God’s sake, go to sites like beauty is diverse. Look at fashion shows from the early 90′s on youtube, check out some street style blogs.
http://www.thesartorialist.com/photos/on-the-street-fourth-ave-new-york/
A chic elegant sister on the sartoralist.
Don’t stop there look for Diahann Carrol(Dynasty) videos on youtube. Look at international fashion magazines. U.S. Vogue includes at least one blk model in an editoral often two or three per issue now. Jourdann Dunn is an Anna Wintour favorite for God’s sake.
http://beautyisdiverse.com/2012/02/anais-mali-jasmine-tookes-jourdan-dunn-for-w-magazine-march-2012-2/
W magazine has a blk fashin editor now, check out the editorial he did here^^^
Look for old images from the Ebony fashion fair, Jet beauties of the week, and Essence editorials.
Go check of Shala Monrique’s pages on the fashion spot and also google Genevieve Jones. Not every blk woman darker than a paper bag is suffering. Google image Beverly Peele, Karen Alexander, Nana Keita, Ataui Deng, Herieth Paul, Tomeko Frasier, Roshumba, Yasmin Warsame, Beverly Johnson, Iman, Liya Kabede,etc…
Brandy and Kiaria Kabukuru had a contracts with Covergirl for God’s sake as did Tomeko Frasier with Maybelline and Jessica White with both.
I’ve got to give my mom props, she is a major pack rat but she saved so many magazines, videos and books etc.. for me to see myself and thank God. Those of us who were around from the late 80′s up to 2005, got to see yourselves via the MSM in a positive light often.
Vogue Italia Febuary issue, IIRC this was a 20+ page spread featuring Marihenny Rivera and Shena Moulton. Please take note that Shena Moulton looks like the average blk grl from the neck up.
http://thingsilike-rotex.blogspot.com/2012/02/shena-moulton-and-marihenny-rivera-in.html
^^^ Is this not a postive representation of YBW?
Google the Harper’s Bazaar all black model spread from March 2011. IIRC, Sessilee Lopez had a pretty good editorial in that issue as well. Sessilee Lopez is one hell of a model, just look at her pics on google images.
http://youtu.be/LeejhJJ8EsY
A beautiful sister here^^^ in a Lancome video and while you’re there check out Arlesis Desosa’s videos for Lancome. Two very pretty flat nosed brown skin girls.
*chic noir takes a bow*
Sorry yall to go a little crazy but I hate this topic. It’s become the banal topic of “blk women’s issues” right behind DL brothers and the myth of the strong blk woman.
Trust there are images out there with blk women darker than a paper bag. If you have issues with your skin color, follow some of my links, cut the print the photos and put them on your wall, use some as screen savers. Surround yourself with positive reinforcement of who you are and stay away from the negative stuff.
@Chic Noir,
I see what you’re doing by posting images of these beautiful black women. but do realize that colorism is a problem. I agree with Toton. You have to walk around in the shoes of a dark skin women to truly realize how severe the problem is. In actuality, by dismissing this issue as minimal and refusing to believe how bad it is you only aggravate and not help it. I suggest you do the counting of dark images in the media that the author admitted to doing. And I’m talking about main stream images that permeates all forms of media everyday. Will you come up with more than 5?
Ok, you know what, I’m not dark-skinned so you’re right I won’t feel it the same way. I will apologize to any sister I may have offended when I dismissed this topic.
Thanks for getting my point with the images and I’m glad you enjoyed the links :)
I think it’s most important for dark-skinned girls to see positive women who look like them since you can’t control what other people think but you can control (to an extent) what you expose yourself to.
http://www.chicnoirhouse.blogspot.com/2009/10/covers-4.html
@ Chic Noir
As a beautiful self loving dark skinned sister, I just had to let you know that you have not offended me in the least. I too, am EXHAUSTED by all the perpetuated images of dark skin black woman being so tortured, depressed, and self hating. Granted there are far too many sisters who feel this way and this is an issue that not only needs to be addressed, but solved in some fashion, but this is not how all dark skin black women feel.
I understand your frustration with the one-sidedness of the self esteem of dark skin black women. I am just as fashion conscious as you and am constantly reading fashion blogs, magazines, websites, etc so I see a variety of gorgeous black women of all shades, but, of course, I always notice the array of dark skin models in the mix. Yes, compared to our white counterparts, we’re not the majority, but we should not look for outside forces to determine how we feel about ourselves.
To sum up my thoughts, I understand that not all black women, more so my sisters on the darker side of the spectrum, have had the luxury of having a support system in the household that always made them feel beautiful no matter what the media chooses to represent as such. And if the mass media is too whitewashed and color blind for your taste, be inspired by the beautiful dark skin women strutting their stuff in the streets like the world is their’s, heads (black, white, brown and yellow) turning in their direction, just so you know that we ALL can be and are beautiful.
P.S.- There is no need to remind anybody of men who “fetishize” women. All men from all backgrounds, all races do this with ALL different types of women. It will be up to the individual woman to use her common sense and weed out the men who are just acting out a jungle fever fantasy from those looking for a relationship.(In regards to attention from non-black men)
@ that’s that- Queen… I love you.
Thanks for saying what I was trying to say. You are far more articulate than I.
So happy you got the fetish point. ALL men ”fetishize” all women at some point. What do they think the rapper’s obsession with women like Buffy the Body is about??? Blk men’s magazines like Smooth are nothing but fetish mags.
@90 until- I get your points and thanks for enjoying the images. If you know a sister who can use them, pass them on.
In actuality, by dismissing this issue as minimal and refusing to believe how bad it is you only aggravate and not help it.
I don’t think it’s a minimal issue but it certainly isn’t so bad that every dark-skinned blk women should be on 24hr suicide watch. Cause that’s certainly how some people want to make it seem. Dark-skinned blk women are not women to be pitied.
@ Chic Noir
I love you too, girl!
I wish we, as sisters, would stop finding reasons to divide ourselves and stop looking so petty and pitiful most of the time, it’s just sad.
*Rodney King Voice* Can’t we all just get along!!