Oh, she's in the bed with no scarf on, hunh? That would not be me!

I used to be the kind of woman who had no problem getting into a relationship and letting it all hang out — within reason. There are some bodily functions and personal hygiene moments that probably shouldn’t be shared with anyone, but for the most part I considered being myself part of the benefits of an intimate relationship. That is, until the day I realized that for me, some beauty secrets should stay secret.

He and I were headed to a formal event and I was wearing a satin tube dress and every woman knows what that means…along with the dress I’d be wearing some form of body shaper underneath. I guess the contraption was a bit too grandmotherly, or perhaps this guy had never considered that most grown women have a few things to smooth out. Either way, on our way out of the door I asked him to zip me up and I could feel him pause when he saw the top of my trusty Spanx poking out.

“What on earth is this?” he asked as if he’d just discovered that I was wearing an exoskeleton.

I explained to him that it was just a body shaper that I was wearing so that the dress looked better. He hesitantly zipped me up while making a few quick jokes about girdles and old ladies and Victorian corsets and other things that someone socially maladjusted would joke about. Laughter is the best medicine for awkwardness, but I could tell that he was weirded out for the rest of the night. Oh, whatever.

Was this guy being ridiculous with his reaction? Probably, as he was generally a ridiculous person. But thanks to his overreaction I learned that the specific aerodynamics of my bodyshaping garments is something I personally need to keep from my beaus, and have done so ever since. A man might know that I have something underneath my dress (and shouldn’t I?) but he’ll never, ever see it. Zit cream? Sure. Do-rags? No dude could make me stop wearing one to bed faithfully because I do not have time for the breakage. But the one beauty secret I’ll faithfully keep from a man is how I shimmied myself into tonight’s dress. It’s just none of their business!

What about you? What beauty secret do you keep from your man?

  • La, Ca Dreaming

    I don’t have any beauty secrets.

    I am also not dating/in relationship with anyone.

    I’m a very private person, so nothing like this would ever come up for me.

  • http://itsoftenbeensaid.wordpress.com Sasha

    There are no beauty secrets I keep from him per se but I’ve never ever EVER let him see me using the bathroom. As far as we’re concerned I don’t fart or poop LOL

  • http://www.rivaflowz.com Riva

    I used to have beauty secrets, including the spanx. However, I don’t anymore. When you’re living with someone and you become serious, all becomes exposed. Trying to hide becomes too much work. He should love you for you & all your flaws. I talk about that a little bit here: http://rivaflowz.blogspot.com/2012/03/relationships-unmasking-love.html


  • Doctora E

    I would probably hide under a rock if he knew I got my upper lip and chin threaded. NOBODY needs to know about that, lol! Spanx, however, not sure about that one, I think I look pretty hot in those tight, curve-hugging shorts!

  • Laugh

    Yea his reaction was stupid even skinny girls wear spanx it just smoothes you out and it’s no secret. I think anything I do privately in the bathroom will be kept private!

  • overseas_honeybee

    True dat. Bathroom stuff is private. Leave a little mystery. Waxing my my chin is another one too.

  • ThisIshRightHere

    Very early on, my dude caught a peek of my to-do list which included multiple bodyparts that needed to be waxed. He didn’t seem grossed out, but he was very vocal in his commentary and didn’t seem to consider for a second that I might be a little embarassed by his discovery and subsequent ribbing, lol.

    Before him, I woke up to find my dude inspecting my tracks, lol. “What are you doing?” I shrieked. He just said “oh, so this is weave in your hair? I had no idea, good job, shorty.” Once I realized that no crisis was nigh, I simply went back to sleep.

  • Dalili

    I spit my coffee all over reading your second paragraph!! LOL!

  • Sxy

    I can understand how you feel about the Spanx, but oddly enough, I don’t have any insecurities about my husband seeing me put mine on. Hell – -he’ even helped me get into a few of my contraptions…….but where I draw the line is taking care of those annoying little hairs under the chin…….been together for nearly 20 yrs. but I will NOT tweeze/pluck when he’s at home. Another shocker for me are the women that tweeze/pluck in the car using the rear view mirror or on the subway! Talk about mortified!

  • ThisIshRightHere

    @Dalili Sorry about that, hope your papers and such dry out soon, lol!

  • Snooty Poodle

    hair removal and make up application. Legs and eyebrows I don’t mind so much. It nice to leave a little mystery.

  • Cia

    I am the same way, I am married and for some reason my body shapers/control top undies are a secret. Not like my hubby hasn’t seen everything i have but still. It makes it awkward when I need zipping, esp with this one VS dress shaper that I have. It takes real skill to hide it and still have him pull and zip! Bathroom stuff…being married there is really no way to hide it. I naturally have a sensitive stomach so I always had to be open with boyfriends, etc. about it. No way around it.

  • binks

    LOL at some of these comments, but what do some men expect, shockingly women do prim and pamper and have beauty tricks up our sleeves just like them (caught my ex using his Bioré Pore Strip) we don’t wake up looking like this and we are human too. So I don’t hide any beauty tips or secrets but I don’t indulge either

  • TruBlu

    why do you feel the need to say this daily? we get it…..you are asexual!!
    now have several seats and a cold glass of bleach!

  • Nic

    lol @TruBlu

    The name may change, but its still the same tune, “This doesn’t apply to me.” EVERY. Single. Article.

    With that being said “beauty secrets” are really just routine at this point, it’s too much work to hide em. He just cares that I put in the effort to look nice.

  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

    @ Tru Blu

    She is exercising her constitutional right of freedom of speech. Leave her be!

    Before you hand me several seats and bleach (smh?!) and possibly a plane ticket to the motherland, I’m outtie!

  • La, California Dreaming

    “Why do you feel the need to say this daily?” – For the same reason(s) you feel it is your duty to police my comments. Focus on the articles, not me.

  • c0c0puffz

    When you live together it’s hard to keep secrets. I think my man knows everything except I don’t use the bathroom when he’s in it or when I am using it. Bathroom use is private.

  • Jess

    Actually, I like the way I look in my Spanx. I searched high and low to find them in the perfect shade of brown to match my skin tone. When I put them on, they look sexy (according to my guy), like a second skin. However, doing #2, and getting my chin waxed is my personal business, and will never be shared!

  • http://nesheaholic.com LaNeshe

    My husband knows all my secrets.

  • Pseudonym

    I don’t mind him knowing that it happens, but my full Nair session (underarms, legs, bikini, etc.) will never be seen by another person.

  • Simone L

    My husband has seen me give birth three times…I mean..literally seen them two thangs part and a head come out. According to him, my ass puckered. After this…and before…no secrets. Once you have a secret, you have to maintain it.

  • OohLaLa

    I’m not even going to lie. The first few times my man stayed over, I definitely tried the “not gonna wrap my hair, but sleep ‘cute’” routine. But no ma’am, there’s nothing cute about dry, tangled hair in the morning. That had to stop lol.

    Now that we’ve been together over a year and a half, the only thing I feel weird about are my face masks that I sometimes like to sleep in. They would be just enough to freak him out, but my goodness they make my skin feel sooooo smooth in the morning. Sighhhh… eventually I’ll have to just let him deal with it though lol.

  • http://www.chicnoirhouse.blogspot.com Chic Noir

    Naw, I don’t really hide anything. I actually like putting on makeup in front of men because they seem to be mesmerized by the application of lipstick(don’t you dare say it),eyeshadow, and mascara.

    Now that I think about it, I’ve never shaved my legs in front of a man or I shave my legs before I go over to my beau’s apartment.

  • http://www.chicnoirhouse.blogspot.com Chic Noir

    As far as we’re concerned I don’t fart or poop LOL

    See I was running this game too but one night I ate something and Sasha, I had to jump out of the car before he stopped driving to run into his bathroom.

    I was holding my cheeks so tight, I could’ve crushed a quarter. I had to beg God to let me make it to the toilet in time.

    Long story short, 15-20 minutes later when I finally made it out of the bathroom feeling weak as hell, he was on his bed LOL and rolling around at me with tears coming out of his eyes. Thank God I carry spray in my bag.

  • Tami

    My man has never seen my natural hair & never will…That’s my beauty secret…My natural hair is short & nappy & won’t grow, so I cover it with weaves & wigs.

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