Oh, she's in the bed with no scarf on, hunh? That would not be me!

I used to be the kind of woman who had no problem getting into a relationship and letting it all hang out — within reason. There are some bodily functions and personal hygiene moments that probably shouldn’t be shared with anyone, but for the most part I considered being myself part of the benefits of an intimate relationship. That is, until the day I realized that for me, some beauty secrets should stay secret.

He and I were headed to a formal event and I was wearing a satin tube dress and every woman knows what that means…along with the dress I’d be wearing some form of body shaper underneath. I guess the contraption was a bit too grandmotherly, or perhaps this guy had never considered that most grown women have a few things to smooth out. Either way, on our way out of the door I asked him to zip me up and I could feel him pause when he saw the top of my trusty Spanx poking out.

“What on earth is this?” he asked as if he’d just discovered that I was wearing an exoskeleton.

I explained to him that it was just a body shaper that I was wearing so that the dress looked better. He hesitantly zipped me up while making a few quick jokes about girdles and old ladies and Victorian corsets and other things that someone socially maladjusted would joke about. Laughter is the best medicine for awkwardness, but I could tell that he was weirded out for the rest of the night. Oh, whatever.

Was this guy being ridiculous with his reaction? Probably, as he was generally a ridiculous person. But thanks to his overreaction I learned that the specific aerodynamics of my bodyshaping garments is something I personally need to keep from my beaus, and have done so ever since. A man might know that I have something underneath my dress (and shouldn’t I?) but he’ll never, ever see it. Zit cream? Sure. Do-rags? No dude could make me stop wearing one to bed faithfully because I do not have time for the breakage. But the one beauty secret I’ll faithfully keep from a man is how I shimmied myself into tonight’s dress. It’s just none of their business!

What about you? What beauty secret do you keep from your man?

26 Comments

  1. Simone L

    My husband has seen me give birth three times…I mean..literally seen them two thangs part and a head come out. According to him, my ass puckered. After this…and before…no secrets. Once you have a secret, you have to maintain it.

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  2. OohLaLa

    I’m not even going to lie. The first few times my man stayed over, I definitely tried the “not gonna wrap my hair, but sleep ‘cute'” routine. But no ma’am, there’s nothing cute about dry, tangled hair in the morning. That had to stop lol.

    Now that we’ve been together over a year and a half, the only thing I feel weird about are my face masks that I sometimes like to sleep in. They would be just enough to freak him out, but my goodness they make my skin feel sooooo smooth in the morning. Sighhhh… eventually I’ll have to just let him deal with it though lol.

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  3. Naw, I don’t really hide anything. I actually like putting on makeup in front of men because they seem to be mesmerized by the application of lipstick(don’t you dare say it),eyeshadow, and mascara.

    Now that I think about it, I’ve never shaved my legs in front of a man or I shave my legs before I go over to my beau’s apartment.

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  4. My man has never seen my natural hair & never will…That’s my beauty secret…My natural hair is short & nappy & won’t grow, so I cover it with weaves & wigs.

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