I find it funny when the discussion of emotional affairs vs. physical affairs comes up with men. They swear up and down that emotional affairs are much worse than physical because to them a physical affair is just that…physical. There are no feelings involved and no attempts to try to get to know the person outside of the bedroom. Women argue that a physical affair is worse because nothing hurts more than knowing your mate was physically intimate with someone and then comes home acting like everything is ok. They say talking and flirting is fine, but taking the leap to get into bed with that person crosses the line. So which one is worse? Let’s break the two down:

Physical affairs: Engaging in any sort of sexual activity with someone other than your mate. Physical affairs are usually just that – physical. The thing with this type of affair is the amount of deceit that has to take place in order to make it happen. The lying about your whereabouts, who you are going to meet and just constantly having to make things up in order to cover your tracks.

Emotional Affairs: Developing romantic feelings for someone other than your mate and keeping those feelings alive with constant contact. You share personal information with this individual and develop an intimate bond. You constantly think about them and it gets to the point that you enjoy this person’s company more than your mates. You have long conversations with them, go out on dates and miss them when you haven’t been in contact with them. This is the person you go to when you feel like you can’t talk to your mate. The sad thing about people who are in emotional affairs is that they are denial that they are in one. As long as they are not doing anything physical with the person they don’t think they are doing anything wrong.

In my opinion, these two are both equally bad and deal breakers for relationships. The only thing I will say that may make a physical affair worse than an emotional one is the risk of getting an STD and passing it onto your mate. No one should have to suffer from a disease because of your infidelity. Then there is also the risk of getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant, which is a whole new batch of drama.

Both forms of affairs involve some level of betrayal and are hurtful to the person you are with.


Do you think one type of affair is worse than the other?

  • CurlySue

    Both are an unforgivable betrayal and both warrant an immediate dismissal. You are weak and now beneath me.

  • Chrissy

    In my personal opinion I think one will eventually lead to the other. So they are probably equally as bad

  • binks

    Both are equally bad but if I had to choose I would say an emotional affair would sting the worst for me. You can almost forgive (not that you should) a physical affair because despite the betrayal and hardship of it at the core it was purely sex or lust driven, but with an emotional affair that is a form of attachment and trust for and with the other person, that was building OVER time. So I would look at it that you were cheating on me way before you inserted yourself in her…shrugs

  • I got sense!

    Yep, yep.

  • Tonton Michel

    Both are bad but emotional affairs will get someone killed. I see why an emotional affair is worst. That one will make you walk out on your spouse, abandon your family, hate them or worst have no feelings for them. Connections are broken with emotional affairs that can not be built back. A physical affair is just about satisfaction for something that in many men’s mind is like a sport, satisfaction of lust and ego, it is the reason men can sleep around and not commit. I am amazed women don’t get this, it’s been going on for centuries.

  • Dalili



    They are both 100% bad,no and’s, if’s or buts about it. an affair is an affair. If you saw your man/woman having sex with someone,how would feel about it? If you could see in your man’s/woman’s mind and saw them being emotional with someone when it should be for you,how would you feel about it? people are entitled to their opinions,but thats like asking if it would hurt more to be stabbed in your left vs right rib lol.

  • entro

    Anyone involved in either are cowards. It is much easier for me to say hey “I don’t want to be with you anymore” and move on to someone I want to be with.The amount of deceit and betrayal is just not worth it.

  • Dreaming

    I do not think one type of affair is worse than the other. They are both bad.

  • EbonyLolita

    I think men have physical affairs, but a lot of women in these affairs are emotional. This is why a man can have sex w/a woman & walk off & “feel nothing.” Meanwhile the woman feels slighted. And PLEASE I don’t wanna hear about women doing the same thing. Most women feel slighted if they’ve been the person left in an affair. Either they miss the sex, the attention, gifts or just feeling like they have an alleged upper hand.
    TonTon is right though. Emotional affairs cause ppl to SNAP!!! But physical affair can kill you as well……. check the CDC on AIDS *NuffSaid*

  • Regina

    Sometimes they are the whole thing wrapped into one. The emotional and physical….these are the ones that REALLY hurts…this person has had your WHOLE man or woman, and YOU are the “side piece.”

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