The Problem With ‘Networking’
If there is one word I’ve always hated, it’s “networking.” Why it is necessary to give a special official-sounding name to going someplace and talking to people about things? That’s all “networking” is, with the added implication that while talking to people about things you’re forging connections that will help you in your career or business. It’s not the same as just “hanging out” or “socializing.” In fact, “networking” happens not because you legitimately enjoy another person’s company and have nothing superficial to gain from making contact with them. You network to gain something. How is this a positive thing?
The other day I noticed that someone I met at an event had requested me on Facebook with a special “networking profile.” Instead of the usual “this is my life” type of page that a person would use to share his or her life with friends through, this dude’s profile was bare bones and laid out more like a resume. All of the photos were from networking events, and he was clean-cut and stern-looking in his profile picture. Just a few clicks away was his real profile, which came up as a “suggested friend” for me (an inevitability I guess he hadn’t thought through). In that profile picture he was wearing a backwards cap and a “what’s up?” smile while throwing up deuces.
Aside from his commission of a throwback photo opportunity foul with the deuces throwing, this guy’s approach really rubbed me the wrong way. I have no open positions to hire him for and we’re not even in the same industry, but he cast his net as far and wide as possible for the sake of networking. Knowing people is great, but what better way is there to say “you are not actually my friend” than treating new people like cards in your rolodex? It makes sense to limit what you share with the world, but how many “selves” should a person present for the sake of such a vague concept of potential business connections?
He should have just requested you on Linkedin if he wants a professional only relationship.
I don’t like the word ‘networking’ either, or how one has to do it to get something, mainly in the business world. I think it doesn’t take into account those of us who aren’t extroverts and would prefer not to fraternize with just any ol’ person.
Exactly! I’m not just going to talk to every single person at a gathering for the sake of establishing “business contacts”, that’s just not me.
Keep in mind that you don’t network just to get business; you also want to help connect other people to what they need, too. If I didn’t network, it would be difficult for me to refer my clients to services that I don’t provide. Yes, we can all use Google and sometimes Yelp! helps, but remember how much more useful people find it when you can tell them about someone you’ve had a personal experience with. I network to screen out the pretenders and pass on the superstars to my friends, family, and clients. Networking is not just about making money from the people you meet.
Networking is only disingenuous if you falsely represent yourself. Think of yourself this way, “I am a competent provider of XXX, and I want to meet people who do their work as well as I do mine.” You’re not there to make a new best friend, just to find people who are passionate and care about their career. Those are the people you’ll want to tell your friends about and if you’re passionate and ethical, too, they’ll want to tell their friends about you. Networking is not marketing; it’s connections and mutually beneficial relationships. Try it again with this in mind and see if you like it.
Also, you’re not supposed to talk to *everybody*. Talk to as many people as you are comfortable with. Get business cards, then do the sorting later. Did that woman in green speak to you dismissively? She probably does that with her clients, too. Did the woman in red seem eager to find out more about your industry? Make sure to give her links to some useful resources when you send her the post-networking email. Is that man in the blue sweater trying to get me to invest in his business? Wow, way to miss the point of this event and to completely misread me. Even if someone rubs me the wrong way, I keep their business card in my NO-GO pile. That way, if I ever encounter them online or in another environment, I’ll know that I’m not interested in a relationship with them.
Just as you’re judging people there, they are judging you, too. If you’re stand-offish, they don’t want to meet you either. If you’re nervous or shy, remember that they might be as well. That’s why these things usually have alcohol. It’s not a good idea to get liquored-up when you’re trying to make a professional impression, but it’s fine to have one or two to calm your nerves and open up.
If you’re an introvert in the business world, it’s okay if you don’t network, but your opportunities will suffer a bit. Just like in your social relationships, you will still make business contacts, just far fewer than extroverts. The extroverts will likely have more connections and, subsequently, more information and opportunities.
Basically, what I’m saying is, don’t judge networking so harshly. You’ve likely met a lot of people who don’t know how to network properly and you may not know how to do it yourself. Everybody sets up these events, but almost no one knows what to do when they get there. My suggestion? Try taking a networking seminar somewhere. Not sure which one is worth it? Check Amazon or the library for books on networking. Just like you had to be trained to do your job, you need training to network properly as well. I did and now I try to teach it to others. Almost nothing in this world is intuitive. Good luck!
This!
I’m very shy in person but I can push myself to be warmer and more outgoing.
Networking is such a bore for me. But I understand its importance. Sometimes, I am just there in body but in mind, I’m thinking about busting out in dance, to “All the single ladies, all the single ladies”……….>shallow african girl in america.
I don’t enjoy “networking” either…It makes me uncomfortable and it just seems really in-genuine: People talking about what they’ve done/what they have to offer hoping to close the “deal,” which is staying in your memory for future opportunities.There’s no real connection, it’s just…idk a**-kissing I guess lol
Yes, it’s disingenuous
LOL–my bad, off-grammar day
Not sure what the big deal was about what this guy did. In life, you never know. Meaning, “casting your net” far and wide is acceptable because you just never know. Now this guy should have never been foolish enough into living a double life on FB but that is a lesson for him to learn and grow from. Not liking to “Network” just sounds like the author is “anti-social” or here’s a better one “Selfish.”
It’s neither anti-social or selfish.