True Friends Put You In Check
You know someone is a true friend if they tell you the truth no matter how harsh or unpleasant it may be. They tell you the things that you don’t want to hear because they care about your well being and want the best for you. It is better to hear the truth from someone who loves you than a stranger in the street. That will hurt you more and simply make you question why those who are the closest to you chose to lie to your face.
Some people are surrounded by a poisoness group called yes men. These are the worst kind of people to have around you because they will agree with everything you say or want to do even if they know it is harmful to you. They don’t want to risk upsetting you for fear that you will no longer want to be friends with them. Usually these people get some kind of a perk from being your “friend” and therefore want to protect the benefits they get from being around you at all costs. These people are like your own personal robots. They will never say anything to counter what you have already said or done. They don’t really care about you, but more about themselves. It may seem nice to have people like this around who won’t argue with you or try to prevent you from doing things you want to do, but in the end they are only detrimental to you.
A true friend won’t care if you get mad at them or even say that you never want to see them again. It would hurt them, but it will hurt them more to know they claim to be your friend but are lying to you or keeping something from you that you need to know. A true friend will dread the day you come to them upset because they had to find out from someone else something that you should have told them a long time ago.
Friendships are very similar to relationships only without the intimacy. People who have been friends for years and never had an argument or minor disagreement are suspect to me. A real friend will never let you go outside looking crazy or do something that they know you will regret later. Take the time to evaluate if you are surrounded by true friends or yes men. It will be worth it.
Women are never honest with one another.
My mother and grandmother always cautioned me that you only get one, maybe two true friends in your lifetime,the rest are merely acquaintances . Its been my experience that this is true so I don’t expect much from certain people.
No one ever gave me advice about life, but what your grandmother and mother told you is something I learned very early on. I don’t expect much from anyone. One issue I see with many people when it comes to friendships, is that they build friendships off of superficial things.
@Entro and Dreaming: My mom taught me that you only get one or two TRUE friends as well. It’s funny that this the subject that I fell upon…because I was just having a conversation with my mom about one-sided friendships (yes, they do exsist!). After being friends with someone for years, I realize, that the friendship is a one way street with me doing all the work. It’s crazy, but many people say to just get over it. However, I think that’s the problem. Which is why I have also come to terms with not expecting much from folks.
A couple months ago, one of my friends (who is in India) told me she stopped taking her anti-malaria pills. I responded by telling her that she is out of her damn mind, and asked her why she would do something so stupid. I also threw in that her decision made me doubt her intelligence. Haha I agree with the article. Perhaps I need to work on being more tactful when doing the checking. It came from a place of love though– I don’t want her to die!
When I was real young, I used to be afraid to check my friends. I had so many of them and never had a problem. Now, I’m bluntly honest (still retaining compassion) and I have probably 3 close friends. Some women don’t want honesty, they want a cheering squad and a closed mouth therapist. I no longer do either. Keeping it real, is so much easier.
I guess it depends on the friend/s and the situation/s. For example, in the interest of open communication, I generally tell my friends when they’ve overstepped a boundary (and they do the same with me). But first I do a quick check to determine if I am over reacting (am a sensitive soul) or if the incident warrants a conversation.
Then there’s the little stuff like telling a friend they really need to do something with their hair before they leave the house, or hand them some lotion for their feet or suggest perhaps they may need to change that top or outfit….you know simple stuff.
Then there’s stuff that could cost one a friendship if they don’t tread carefully. Like telling your friend their new boyfriend gives you the heebie-jeebies, or buying that new car after many months of saving and searching may still not be a good idea, or
letting their lover move is a pending disaster……you know stuff that could quickly shift one from ‘concerned supportive friend’ to ‘dream killer’ with dizzying speed. I trust my friends to make the best decisions their lives and opine when I am invited to; only then do I speak candidly.