What To Do When Friends Overstep Their Boundaries

by Risa Dixon

How do you tell your friends when they are overstepping their boundaries? This can be a touchy topic depending on how long you have been friends with a person.  Some friends that you have had for years feel that they are entitled to know about every aspect of your life or give advice even if it isn’t asked for. What’s the best way to create these boundaries without losing a friend?

If a person is truly your friend then they should understand when certain topics are off limits. A friend should be supportive and honest with you, but they don’t have the right to comment on every part of your life. One way you can set these boundaries is to simply tell a friend when they have entered into forbidden territory. Another way is to just not tell your friends about things you don’t care to hear their opinions on. This is especially true when it comes to your personal relationships. I learned the hard way that I didn’t need to run my mouth to my girlfriends about every up and down I went through in my relationship. For one, friends always seem to remember all the bad things you ever told them about your mate instead of the good. Second, they feel entitled to tell you what you should and shouldn’t do whenever anything happens even if you didn’t ask for their advice. If you open up that door just once, some friends will feel they can bust through it anytime they feel like it.

It doesn’t matter if you have been friends since 2nd grade or if the two of you met only a year ago, boundaries should be respected and not taken as an insult. Some friends will have more entitlement than others and that shouldn’t cause friction with any of your true friends.

How do you set boundaries with your friends?

  • ebony

    Let your friends know that just because they are your friends does not entitle them to all aspects of your life, including your brain and free will.

  • Ocean Blue

    I am a private person and I have experienced ‘friends’, acquaintances and even coworkers overstepping their boundaries thinking that they can pull information from me and/or somehow feeling that they have a right to know intimate things about me. I just decline to discuss things with them.

  • http://stephanietalktome.blogspot.com Stephanie

    I had a friend that overstepped her boundaries until I had to let her know her place. I love my friend. We’ve been through thick and thin together. However, we are not in a relationship: which is something I had to explain to her. LOL! Just the fact that I would talk on the phone and she just had to know who I was talking to was a bit much. No, no, no. You can have a close friend without them being that close.

    You definitely have to implement boundaries.

  • lostluv224

    i say mind your damn business….and they love me just the same lol

    …they also tell me the same thing….and i love thme just the same.

  • Glazed ‘Donut

    Great article currently going through this. My best friend since being 12 have the nerves to comment on my physical appearance when I dont ask for opinion and am satisfied with the way I look. She always says you never dress up or wear this or that. I told her I dont care to wear these particular items. The crazy part about this she looks like a bum 90% of the time and tells me how to look because according to her I have the figure to wear these items and she doesn’t. One time I told her at a store why dont you wear it or dress up since you keep telling me and she shut up. When I do look good she finds any comment to make to take away from it. Told me when am I taking my braids although she has a twa that she never moisturizes so took them out and got them done again to a cute Bob style which everyone complimented on except her. I’m perfectly fine with my low maintenance appearance.

  • Queen Ki

    I personally have to disagree with this article. I have two best girlfriends: one I knew since my first year of college and once since childhood. I call them both my sisters because we’ve grown that close and been through a LOT together, so…yeah.

    When it comes to situations in my life, they always give me advice simply because I DO ask them for it, mostly. And for the times I don’t ask, they just give me general feedback on what I COULD do, not SHOULD do. They both always give input, but they always end it with, “That’s up to you,” “Well, I can’t TELL you what to do,” oe “At the end of the day you gotta do what’s best for YOU and no one else. It has to be your choice.”

    Maybe it’s simply because I have THESE particular girls for sisters, but…yeah, I never have this problem. Not to say that people DON’T do that, but I wouldn’t generalize anf say ALL friends do XYZ ALL the time. You know?

  • peaches

    call them on it.. i have a friend that says inappropriate shty and i let her know.. i tell her had she said the things she say to other ppl she’d be picking up her lip.. if she keeps it up she will be looking for a new best friend..

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