My darling girl,

You are loved and wanted even before your arrival. Wanting to be a mother, your mother has been on my mind for as long as I can remember. You are my greatest dream realized. There is so much I can’t wait to show you and share with you. The thought alone makes me giddy with excitement.

I can’t wait to read to you. Books are a great treasure. Through them you can travel, build great things, and most importantly learn. I want you to love to read. I have kept books from my childhood to share with you. I want to have story time with you, like your grandmother and I did. She taught me how to plot a story and speak eloquently as she told me ‘Now you tell me a story.’

It is my job to prepare you for life. You were gifted to us to show you the way. I will not always be your favorite person, but know that I do everything with love.

I am your friend and biggest fan. First and foremost though, I am your mother. I will not be a yes-woman to cater to your ego or always agree with you. When I say no to a party, I am doing it because I love you. I am not ruining your life. You will survive missing a few parties.

I hope you learn how to be your own person. You will often hear me say ‘So if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?’ I am not being morbid; I just want you to get away from doing ‘it’ just because everyone else is. See yourself through your own eyes. Don’t let other people’s notions of who you should be color your view of yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to. You are descended from the strongest people in the world. You can do it.

Be kind. Be respectful. Treat everyone well regardless of whether or not they can do something for you. People are important. Treat them as such. The mark of a good woman is how she treats those who are of no importance to her.

Talk to God. I see him in a Judeo-Christian way. You may not. I am fine with that. You are allowed and encouraged to discover what works for you. Religion is not morality.

You are beautiful. I may be biased because I made you, but my darling you are. Beauty is fluid and subjective. Don’t let superficial standards affect how you feel about yourself. You were made to stand out, not fit in.

Still on beauty, don’t get so caught up in things, vanity, and materialism. Who you are, your values, your morals, how you treat people is infinitely more important. Enjoy nice things when you have them and don’t get depressed when you don’t. Your value lies outside of things.

Love. Romantic love. This could be a whole book. Broad strokes. No one completes you. You are enough. Love does not hurt. If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t. If they put you down, they aren’t for you. Heartbreak is not the end of the world. It is a break up, not a breakdown. You will survive a broken heart.

Love now and forever, Mummy.

  • Toppin (Formerly Known As Just Sayin’)

    I just want to say the contrast between this letter to this woman’s unborn daughter and this one…

    http://www.”insertthissitename”.com/2012/04/a-mothers-letter-to-her-unborn-son/

    to another woman’s unborn son is glaring.

    I personally think it shows us just what is so wrong with the black community.

    The differences in the way black mothers treat their daughters and that which they treat their sons is problematic and can be found in the language of the two blogs.

    Mother’s letter to unborn daughter:

    “It is my job to prepare you for life. You were gifted to us to show you the way. I will not always be your favorite person, but know that I do everything with love.

    I am your friend and biggest fan. First and foremost though, I am your mother. I will not be a yes-woman to cater to your ego or always agree with you. When I say no to a party, I am doing it because I love you. I am not ruining your life. You will survive missing a few parties.

    I hope you learn how to be your own person. You will often hear me say ‘So if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?’ I am not being morbid; I just want you to get away from doing ‘it’ just because everyone else is. See yourself through your own eyes. Don’t let other people’s notions of who you should be color your view of yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to. You are descended from the strongest people in the world. You can do it.”

    Mother’s letter to her unborn son:

    “To my little prince,

    It’s amazing for to me to feel you grow inside of me every day. You are one with me and once you enter this world I will protect you with everything in me.

    I will wipe your tears when you cry and make sure you have everything you need and most of the things you want. I look forward to seeing your smile and holding you tight if for any reason you may be scared through the night. I will pray over you when you close your eyes to sleep and ask God to keep you safe from harm, fill your heart with joy and give you ambition to achieve all your dreams.

    I will teach you that you are a prince that will one day be a king. I will instill in you the values you need to be a positive, proud, determined, thoughtful and a spiritual man. I promise to not only be your mother, but a confidant as you continue to inquire more and more about life.

    I will ensure that you have a childhood full of games, learning and carefree fun. I will be your biggest supporter and your guide as you travel through life. I will let go a little every year as I know I won’t be able to have you as my baby boy forever, but I will trust the man me and your father have raised you to be.”

    ^^^ Now somebody tell me this ain’t one of the main reasons why the black community is screwed up.

    Clearly the women are raising their daughters and loving their sons.

    Said sons grow up and expects that SAME exact MATERNAL treatment from potential mates. He never fully grows up because his mother decided to “baby” him all his life and catered to his ego by calling him a “prince” and a “king.”

    Those potential mates ain’t having that ish because they learned from their mothers they need to be able to handle their business. Their egos were never stroked and they sure as hell ain’t in the business of stroking nobody else’s ego.

    See the problem?…It all comes full circle when this unborn daughter and unborn son find themselves unable to relate/mix with members of the opposite sex of their race.

  • http://www.itsoftenbeensaid.wordpress.com Sasha

    I agree with everything you said, I find myself doing that a lot. I really really think we need to get away from referring to Black men/ males/ boys as “prince” and “king”. Anytime I hear or see someone doing that it makes my stomach turn not for any reason other than the actions of the person they’re referring to doesn’t reflect any kingly or princely manners/ characteristics. Just because this person is born of your womb does not make him a prince, someday to be king…my two cents there. Anywho I think we should be careful to note that both posts were written by different authors so we really don’t know how Clara would write a letter to her unborn son and if she did we don’t necessarily know if it would read the same as Risa’s….just a thought.

  • Toni

    @ Toppin: *APPLAUDING* We teach our daughters how to do everything from taking care of their bodies to taking care of their house. Boys seem to be set free to explore and often miss out on those lessons.

  • Toppin (Formerly Known As Just Sayin’)

    @Sasha

    “Anywho I think we should be careful to note that both posts were written by different authors so we really don’t know how Clara would write a letter to her unborn son and if she did we don’t necessarily know if it would read the same as Risa’s….just a thought.”

    True. Clara could very well have the same attitude as Risa when it comes to a boy child. Or she could very well have the same attitude as the one she displayed in this post with a boy child.

    However, one of my main points is (and I made this clear with the last statement of my comment: “It all comes full circle when this unborn daughter and unborn son find themselves unable to relate/mix with members of the opposite sex of their race.”) these two women are raising their children in a way that will one day conflict with the two children finding love/marriage/a relationship with each other.

    They will be at odds with each other because of the very different messages about life and themselves they received from their mothers.

  • HowApropos

    ““It all comes full circle when this unborn daughter and unborn son find themselves unable to relate/mix with members of the opposite sex of their race.”) these two women are raising their children in a way that will one day conflict with the two children finding love/marriage/a relationship with each other.”

    And that’s it in a nutshell…

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