Like it or not, dating has gone digital. With so much of our time spent on social media, it’s only natural for some of us to use the web to expand our dating pool like we’ve used Twitter and Facebook to widen our social and professional circles. But for those women enterprising enough to use dating sites to meet a potential boo, there are a few things that can be a complete downer.

Since experimenting with dating websites last year, I noticed a few things men did that quickly turned a message or wink from cute guy into a complete turn-off. Profiles are key, and aside from having a picture (I mean…why wouldn’t you have a picture on a dating site?), there are three things that I’ve noticed that have been utter fails.

Shall we take a look?

The “Female” Disclaimers

There’s nothing that will make me click off of a profile faster than a man who begins by saying he doesn’t want any “females” with bad attitudes, hoodrat behaviors, gold diggers, fakers, liars, and divas. While he may think he’s warning the “bad” ones to stay away, this bit of info tells me dude has had his share of shady women, which makes me question judgment. If his last five girlfriends have all been ratchet, clearly he’s projecting something that keeps attracting those types of women. And a man with extensive past dating drama is not the move.

  • Rosey

    haha! I co-sign all of the above. I also have seen fugly looking brothas say “No Black Women, please”. They almost always are losers anyway.

  • Felicia

    Let me preface this with: I already have a loving, caring, fantastic boyfriend.

    However, before we dated and I used dating sites, I absolutely HATED the guys that took pictures with alcohol or were showing off their expensive watches and whatnot. I really could care less about how much Cristal (not sure how you spell it, I could be getting it confused with a stripper name) or how your Movado watch is all sparkly.

    No thanks bruh.

    Oh yeah, the guys that specify that they want women with exact measures. For example, “I’m looking for a sexy woman (size 8 and smaller) with DD breasts and long hair”

    Its usually those types that have one good tooth and are over 400lbs with breath that could fry onions.

  • Laugh

    I was gonna say the same thing! Those black men who put that are pathetic!!!

  • Laugh

    Men who state God is not at all important.


    Old ass men trying to get a young chick. They’ll be 58 and want a woman in her 20′s or 30′s. And have a nerve to have 35 yr old cut off age!

    Men with like 6 kids- ummm no thanks.

    Men with a drop dead gorgeous profile pic, then you click through and the other pics he has about 3 neck rolls and a 9 mth pregnant gut…did you take that profile pic in a parallel Universe? I don’t know how they do it!

    Anyone who does drugs- and yes some of these fools list it, but hey I’m glad your being upfront!

  • HowApropos

    LMAO @ the comments…

    I’ve read that these same men who have all these demands usually try to holler at the very women they exclude.

    …oh, the irony of it all…

  • African Mami

    OOOOOOwiiii ya’ll sit tight and ready for dis!

    My homegirl, put me on about this dating website, so I was like yo-imma check it ourrrr. I signed up with a fake profile, and checked the place out.

    iDIED, resurrected, iDIED again, resurrected, iDIED again, went to heaven and the Lord brought me back to earth because he wasn’t ready for my foolsihness up thurr!!! The men were OLD, TIRED, HUNGRY, and DOWN TRODDEN by life! Lawwwwwd hammmercy.

    I spotted my bait and quickly named FUFU HEAD- (google fufu and see how it looks like). He was FUGLY as all gerr ourra hurr, and he had the audacity to have a profile pic of him working out in the gym. What?! Flexing muscles, is so not the bizz, especially when you are overcooked. So, I hollered at the broda-to get it cracking. Of course he hollad back, talking bout how he is looking for an African queen blazah blazah blazah. So, I was like word?!

    To hear more on this dude, I’m tired of typing go to my blog……he AMMMMMMMMMMMAZING!!!

  • onegirl

    I hate the guys who take pictures in their bathroom mirror. Oh, you don’t want anyone to know you’re on a dating site, so you have to take the picture yourself? Get someone to take the picture for you and look presentable.

    I also hate the pictures of the guys with no shirt on. If all you have to show me is your hot bod, but got nothin’ going on upstairs, I am not the one.

    As far as disclaimers go, one must be able to spell. One dude thought I was joking when I put that in my profile as a must. I said ‘Trust. It’s a requirement.’ We never corresponded after that.

  • Jaslene

    You spelled Cristal right. Loved everythang you said.

  • Anon

    Can I dispense some advice ladies? My mom, grandmother, and aunts always said the same thing. A man who says he doesn’t want any gold diggers “ain’t GOT no gold to dig!”. They haven’t been wrong yet.

  • Dee

    I loved your examples. My main pet peeve are pictures from your last vacation….all 15 of them and none of them include you. I am not interested in photos of sharks, mountains, ocean views or any random trees especially if you are not in any of them.

    My second pet peeve are screennmames. Please do not contact me if your screenname is “labialvr”, “hairywmnlvr”, “Ramrod” or “Catdaddy51″…..because I am not going to respond at all.

    My last pet peeve is that I am so tired of seeing “black man looking for his black queen” yet you have photos of you with about 5 of your kids… don’t need a queen you need a babysitter….next! And honestly if a guy has multiple kids by multiple baby mamas i.e. 5 kids by 4 different women, your youngest looks to be about 2 and your profile states you have never been married…really?!!! Do I need to finish this statement…You dont need to be on a dating site because it’s obvious you dont have a problem with getting women….you have a problem with keeping them and Im trying to figure it out as I am reading your profile.

  • Ravi

    I see girls with that on their profile a lot. so annoying. start off talking about how open minded they are then at the bottom “I prefer dating Caucasian men only” smh

  • Anon

    Ravi, boo no. MOST black women don’t have that on their profiles. The ones that you’re trying to peep, there might be a higher incidence. But the % of black women who are that exclusive is no where NEAR ya’lls %. Quit playin.

  • mamareese

    Can we please talk about the 3 things that SHOULD be included:
    1. A pic with all their possible kids in the background (and baby mamas need to know where your morals are at).
    2. The true stats of any relationship, living arrangements or marriage.
    3. A recent pic…not when you have a 6 pack….the one where you now have a keg.
    These sites are a good way for people to network and find love. However, just saying there are folks that do not need to even be on them. My ex-husband was on a site trolling as if he was single ya’ll! I hacked his profile and told the biz-naz you hear me! But thankfully that was years ago and he is still embarrassed by the shade of it all. Now I have been delivered and divorced amen!!!!

  • Ravi

    I swear, do you wait for me to say something just so you can be contrary. please point out where I said that most black women do anything. I was responding to someone who said “I also have seen fugly looking brothas say ‘No Black Women, please’.” I have also seen black women do the same thing. does it happen most of the time? No. did I say it happens more than with black men? No. It does happen often and it is annoying.

    And how would you know what most black women have on their match profiles anyway? do you go searching through for women’s profiles? have you done surveys to know the relative numbers of black men and black women that are exclusive to white people? Boo, no. stop playing like you are doing anything other than over-generalizing your own personal experiences.

    Seems like you just want to argue over something. smh

  • D Konstrukt

    LOL! Well, that’s a good part of being a man. Even if I didn’t specify it on my profile, I also have a cut-off age. I only date women younger than me. That’s la vida.

  • D Konstrukt

    1. Beware of women who have several headshot pictures! Translation: Out of shape. If her body type says Average you know that means she’s actually fat.

    2. Overly religious/Christian. Read they’ve been freaks all their life, all of a sudden they’ve been saved. Don’t fall for that fellas.

    3. If she says she’s not on that dating site for intimate encounter, booty call or one-night stand. I guarantee you fellas those are the very ones that’ll sleep or make out with you quicker.

    4. Bad grammar! So unsexy. Especially when she’s a teacher and English is her first language.

  • BFDuster

    Hmm… my list?

    I don’t want anyone who’s religious unless their religion happens to not be of Abrahamic origin. I can accept Wiccans, Pagans, Taoists, Shintoists, etc. because they are likely going to be chill and to each their own.

    I don’t like bad spelling and bad grammar. Sure, I can tolerate a little grammar fail because we’re not all perfect, but if I can’t understand what you’re saying, it’s over even before it began.

    Trophy hunters. I can’t stand (and this is something I came across from men specifically on dating sites) people who talk about how good I would look on/in/next to their car/arm/etc… ugh.

    I don’t like “done-up” pictures. If I’m not wearing makeup and dress clothes for any of my pictures, it because I want you to see the real me. Guess what I don’t want to see? A fake you. This goes doubly for photo shopped pictures.

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  • Ashley

    The worst turn-off for me is a bad attitude or an insult. Seriously. I’ve seen a lot of dating profiles that say stuff like, “I don’t know why I’m doing this,” “Trying this one more time,” “This website sux,” or “This site has too many dumbass girls” << No lie, saw that exact one once. Why in the f*** would a guy think somebody would want to talk to them after they read that? Btw, all of those things make a guy seem desperate. Just saying.

    Look. I have ENOUGH drama in my life. So naturally, I'm not going to talk to somebody who looks (A) like a drama king, (B) like he ha enormous baggage or anger about the past, (C) like he resents women, especially the popular or pretty ones, or (D) like he'd harass me or bully me if things didn't go just right. Forget that. I don't have the time or energy to spend on that.

    In the process of making my dating profile I posted cute smiling pictures, an uplifting (and accurate) description of myself, and I try to be friendly and polite. I wasn't lying about myself, but I wasn't baring all my personal baggage. I said what I did want in a man, but I didn't say what I didn't. No drama = more messages. Why would I want a guy who couldn't at least seem pleasant on his profile?

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