Have You Fallen Victim To The Hater Trim?
I didn’t know there was an actual name for the phenomenon known as stylists being too scissor happy until I came across a discussion board online and I realized I wasn’t the only woman who had been the victim of this heinous crime. Yes, the dreaded hater trim. From high school all the way up to about the age of 22 my hair was essentially the same length. There were times I’d gotten it cut—you know where I intentionally wanted to lose length—but when I was in the process of what I thought was growing it back, somehow I always came out of the shop with the exact same length I started with despite being absolutely clear that I wanted a trim. Say it with me: t-r-i-m. When I skipped the salons all together and got my length back to where it was post-cut without the recommended 6-8 week trims, somehow every time I went to the shop after that I needed my ends cut, and cut they were as I waved goodbye to my hard-earned length being swept away in a dustpan never to grace my shoulders again.
Eventually my friends and I would share stories about our salon experiences and they brought up the idea that it’s something about black stylists that they are always trying to cut someone’s hair off, I laughed it off thinking, why would they even care? But then I thought back to a few of those instances where the cost of getting my hair done drastically increased because my beautician had to do more than trim my ends and I was charged for a full a cut, and I started to think, hmmm maybe there is something to this.
What’s funny is after switching to Dominican stylists when I moved to New York my hair grew longer than it had ever been. Back home people would always comment that the Dominicans must really know what they’re doing, but I thought not really. For anywhere from the $17 to $22 I had to pay to get my hair done I knew there was no miracle grow in the products they used but I did notice that when I asked for a trim I got my $5 worth. Meaning my ends were actually trimmed and I didn’t lose half my head of hair. Coincidence?
After a few years of Dominicans shops I felt I needed some special care. I wanted to try a black male beautician and despite knowing how much gay male hairstylists hate to see a woman not keep every strand of gorgeous locks on her head, I walked out of the salon looking like the pre-NYC hater trimmed victim I was at 22. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt at first but as he explained that I hadn’t really lost any length—he just gave me layers—as I rode the barely-there ponytail struggle bus, I thought this man is worse than a hater, he’s dillusional.
In my post-NYC stint, I refused to go from a $25 trip to the salon to a $50-$60 one so I decided I would simply take care of my hair at home and when I needed a trim I’d hit up a walk-in shop like First Choice, Fresh Cuts, or some place like that that always has that one black stylist. Unfortunately she was never there when I walked in, but a white beautician managed to hook me up just like the Dominicans. My dry, frizzy, dead ends were gone but the rest of my hair wasn’t and I felt certain after my experiences/experiments that the hater trim is real.
In actuality I’m not sure it’s so much a hater – I don’t want you to have long hair trim – as it is beauticians feeling like they have creative license with your hair. Black hairstylists like to experiment and prove they know what looks good on you—sometimes better than you do. If you’ve ever been to a Dominican shop you know they don’t care about all that. Everyone gets the same 3-step, wash, roller set, blow-out process no matter hair length or texture, and if you happen to need a trim, they’ll take the extra five minutes to do it and send you on your way—same with white salons. But a black beautician isn’t satisfied with that simple wash and set, she’s going to show you how she earned that cosmetology license, all at your new growths expense. You already know you have to be careful with who you let cut your hair but if you haven’t already learned, you also need to watch out for who (hater) trims it too.
Have you ever had a hater trim?
Yes, I can remember 2 specific incidences.
I have not received the ‘hater trim’ before. When I had relaxed hair, only once did I allow for the beautician to trim my hair. The only reason I stepped foot into the hair salon was to get a relaxer and be on my way. I was once told that the price of a hairstyle is included in the price of the relaxer, which bugged me because I never wanted them to style my hair, but would pay the $60.00 for the relaxer. Anyway. One time, the beautician who was going to do my hair told me I needed a trim. I told her that I did not want one. She asked me if it was because I didn’t have enough money. I was highly fucking insulted by her question. But yea, the reason I didn’t want the trim was because my hair was not very long and I was too afraid that someone would get scissor happy with my hair.
To add to my worries about never allowing someone to trim my hair – There was this one time a Hispanic family came in with their daughter to get her hair done. I watched the male beautician cut this girl’s hair and cringed the whole time. He just kept cutting and cutting away. I don’t think he knew how to handle that texture of hair. I sat there hoping one of the parent’s would step in and tell him to stop because I was sure that the girl would leave with going from having back length hair to ear length hair.
I agree with the author. I do believe the ‘hater trim’ is more of the hair stylist believing they know what is best for someone’s hair. I also believe it’s the stylist wanting to gain more clients by showing off their skills.
I have been natural now for five years. I know I need a trim, but I am so afraid of getting one.
If you’re hesitant to allow someone else to give you a trim then there is always the alternative of going onto YouTube and learning how to trim your own hair After a lot of hesitancy to get my hair trimmed at the hair salon, I did so at home after some intense research and viewing of all the available videos, etc. My hair is as healthy as it usually is with a trim, whenever my hair begins to split at the ends, i take the hair shears and do what a stylist did minus the twenty-something dollars funneled into their pocket and out of my gas tank. This is not to discourage you from going to a salon to trim your hair but take into consideration that if you cannot find someone that you trust will take care of your hair there are other options than going to a salon or doing it yourself.
So that’s what it’s called. My hair is natural and on 2 occasions at this one salon in Toronto, which I will never go back to, I asked the stylist (term used very loosely) to shape my hair and even out my left and right sides (one side was a little longer). When I left I had the natural version of the Halle. Not that it looked bad, I rocked it, but I had length before and the after was another story. Of course me being nice, I gave them a second chance, mostly because they use the kind hair dye I like, and the same thing happened plus they “missed” a spot during the dying process which I couldn’t cover because the “stylist” had cut my hair. Thing is before she started cutting I gave strict instructions to leave some length and if I wanted to go shorter I’d decide afterwards. Lady didn’t take out a pair of scissors to start she went in with a razor on a low setting and started right side, front. I was like WTF! Although Toronto is very multi-cultural I find it damn near impossible to find a natural hairstylist who fully understands how to handle, cut, style, trim kinky hair. Because of this I am definitely considering investing in hooded dryer and recruiting family members for color touch ups. Didn’t think of a budget salon for a trim but I will give this a try when my length returns because I plan to keep it!