Earlier this week, Li’l Kim revealed that her estranged father, Linwood Jones, is now living with her, due to what she believes is early-stage Alzheimer’s disease. Kim’s parents divorced when she was nine, as a result of her father’s abuse. However, she and her brother were left in their father’s custody, as he was the most financially stable parent. A former Army sargeant, Linwood Jones had strict rules for his household and, by her own account, Kim fought with him constantly until she eventually left home.  The rest, as we know, is hip-hop history.

Of her decision to move her father, with whom her adult relationship has been fractured, into her home, she had this to say:

“Well, I am a child of God,” she said. “I believe in God, and I also believe in the quote ‘honor thy mother and thy father.’ No matter what, I’m always going to be there for my family,” she said.

This begs the questions: is honor subjective? Should it be contingent on how your parents treated you growing up and/or how they treat you now? What are its limitations, if any? What all does it entail?

It’s a popular running joke that adult kids “threaten” to put their parents in a home, if they disagree with them or feel like they aren’t respecting their maturity. But what about in cases where there’s a legitimate estrangement, there was childhood abuse, or the parent was chronically or permanently absent? Should “honoring” them extend to taking on the responsibility of in-home care?

In interviews, Li’l Kim is downplaying the rockiness of her relationship with her dad, but at age 15, she famously stabbed him with a pair of scissors during a physical altercation, which led to her being kicked out of the house. Now that he can no longer care for himself, it’s admirable that she’s stepping in to assist in his daily care.

Under similar circumstances, would you?



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  • Pam Pam

    No one can answer this question truthfully unless their in the situation.

    • The Comment

      Agree. He was in the home with her. At least you can correlate being strict to being in the military. Wasn’t like he was strict for the hell of it.

      I don’t honor my father cause I didn’t meet my dad until I was 30 and I don’t call him dad. I call him by his first name which he hates. Father is a title you have to earn. The only honor he gets from me is a phone call twice a year.

      She probably recognizes that she is where she is today because he was strict. You never know.

    • Mocha

      Yes! You are soooo right! I am not in this situation..there for I choose not to speak on it.

  • Jaslene

    So he was physically abusive but still granted custody. o_O

    • Merci

      I didn’t understand that either. I read it 3x.

    • http://stacialbrown.com Stacia L. Brown

      From http://www.playahata.com/pages/oya/lilkim.htm:

      Kim grew up in a relatively happy but sometimes abusive home. Her father, a military man, seems to have lost something of himself in the Vietnam War. He was later divorced from his wife and was always fighting with little Kim. Kim’s mom was pretty broke for a while following the divorce and at one point in time, they were living out of their car.

      From http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2000/06/25/a-whole-lotta-lil-kim.html:

      But the Lil’ Kim you meet offstage speaks in a soft, tiny, unrecognizable voice–still the voice of Kimberly Jones, the little black girl with doe eyes and kinky hair, the deeply hurt little girl from Brooklyn. Even before her parents divorced, when she was 8, she suffered her father’s disapproval. “It was like I could do nothing right,” she says. “Everything about me was wrong–my hair, my clothes, just me.” After the divorce, she tried to stay with her mother, but money was tight and her father won custody. “I always knew my child would be somebody,” Kim’s mother, Ruby Jones, recalls. “She’d always be the one in her class who looked the most like nobody else. Her father never understood, and that hurt her.”

      By her own account, in interviews over the years, yes, her father was abusive. And yes, he was also awarded custody.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/clnmike Tonton Michel

    “Well, I am a child of God,”

    And on that note,

    (•_•)

    ( •_•)>⌐■-■

    (⌐■_■)

    • Princess P

      *dead*

    • Anon

      There are people and reasons why I’m fairly quiet about my faith.

    • EbonyLolita

      Bwahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa Woo that’s “shade” right there Tonton

  • Introverted Leo

    I do believe that honor is subjective. And yes, it should be contingent on how a parent treated their kid(s) growing up and how they treat them now.

    • Introverted Leo

      “Sometimes parents do so much harm that they just can’t, or deserve to, be honored.”

      You are absolutely right. Parents need to do right by their child (children) early on if they want to reap the benefits later on in life. It seems that the parent(s) who hurt their children the most always think they are owed something.

      I’m Agnostic, so the phrase, “Honor thy father and mother means nothing to me, especially with the parents I have. My father, for the most part, was an absentee dad. He only lived in the same house with us for three years, but even then he was only physically present, and then he became absent all together. He started another family, who he takes good care of. So, some parents will make it right when they start a new family, except they never make things right with their child (children) from their first family. Essentially, my father has alienated himself from my sister and me. He is practicing the, “Out of sight, out of mind” thing with us. Oh well. Hopefully, he is honest with his son about the poor relationship he has with my sister and me. All in all, if something were to happen to my father, I wouldn’t care less, nor would I be there to help. I’m sure his wife and son can take care of that for him.

      On the other hand, my mother is no better. She is a narcissist. I think becoming a single parent overwhelmed her, and the abuse that she received from my father was then acted out on me. My sister, who is only two years older than me didn’t stay home much, so she wasn’t abused like me. My mother acts like I owe her something because she did the bare minimum of what parents are supposed to do for their children. She is too caught up in herself to see that I have turned out the way that I did because of her abuse. Should my mother get older and need to be taken care of, I’ll allow my sister to do it.

      My parents don’t deserve to be honored. They don’t deserve anything from me.

      Another thing – People like to throw around the phrase, “You only get one mother and father” when a child has resentment toward their parent(s). The fact that we only get one mother and father is all the more reason why parents should do a better job of raising their children. I cannot understand why so often people think it is the child’s responsibility to make things right with their parent(s).

    • Introverted Leo

      Post comment.

    • Introverted Leo

      WHY IS IT THAT IF I TYPE A LONG COMMENT IT DOESN’T SHOW UP?

    • chanela

      that happens to me too! what’s been happening to me lately is ANY comment i post from my phone doesn’t show up.

  • http://www.congocapanilo.com Congocapanilo

    I have an absent biological father (never existed to me), and have experienced being abandoned by a parent – not just abandoned but harmed (directly or indirectly), sometimes deliberately, by their actions and statements. There is no room for honor, imo. I’ve received a passive apology, and then a direct apology of which they continued with the degrading, demeaning, neglectful and disrespectful actions towards me as an adult. There is no room for honor, because they aren’t giving me a chance to forgive, forget and move forward in having a progressive, loving and positive relationship with them. Instead, they want to go back there; take me back there; and try to impede my positive growth and evolution as a person, because they can’t, or just won’t, evolve. Some parents feel that they have a right to negatively impact your life, be it when you were legally in their care or after. They do not not, either way.

    You have to let those types of parents go. Surely, I favor the honor and forgiveness of parents, after all you have to be humble in knowing that if it wasn’t for someone else you wouldn’t even exist, but sometimes parents do so much harm that they just can’t, or deserve to, be honored.

    • Yo

      Yessssss…….Thank You!!!! I feel the same way….. You can’t honor someone who isn’t honorable.

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