Putting Your Kid On Blast: Yea or Nay?

by Stacia L. Brown

Bestselling Christian chick lit author ReShonda Tate Billingsley‘s Facebook recently posted a Facebook photo of her daughter and it’s going viral. The photo is part of her daughter’s punishment for abusing social media. The note she’s written and is holding up for the camera says it all:

The photo’s been shared 3,600 times and counting, with most of the comments regarding it being favorable. One poster’s commends Billingsley’s no-nonsense approach: “This is YOUR CHILD, not everybody else’s! You are her parent! I approve because if you don’t do it now, the jails or worse are waiting for her! Thank you for being courageous in training your female child to be a productive citizen of our world.” Another commenter opined, “I am so through with these uber-permissive parents telling us we’re invading our children’s privacy and embarrassing them unfairly by taking control and stepping up to the plate as moms and dads. Go, ReShonda, you have my full support!” Only a very small minority of poster dissented.

The online public rebuke seems to be on the rise as a disciplinary method for today’s tech-dependent teens, with the case of Tommy Jordan, who took to YouTube to record himself shooting his daughter’s laptop in retaliation to a Facebook rant she posted, being the most popular. Jordan faced a firestorm of controversy for his actions and, in the end, Child Protective Services made a visit to his home, just to make sure his 15-year-old, Hannah, was safe.

Jordan’s case and Billingsley’s are barely comparable, save for the fact that both parents decided to use their child’s chosen social media against them, as a way of driving home the point that disrespect–whether of self of family–wouldn’t be tolerated.

Fortunately for my generation, the internet didn’t rise to prominence until I was graduating high school. I escaped the risk of venting or posturing online, having my mind find out, and then put me on blast as chastisement. But before Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the like, parents still had ways of publicly embarrassing their kids. I can vividly remember irate parents marching into a classroom and planting themselves in an empty chair beside their kid, upon receiving word that the child was cuttin’ up and slackin’ off. I remember tall tales about public spankings, stories that were embellished with each telling but had a leather belt in common. And I’ve heard of parents hanging their kid’s pee-stained sheets in the front lawn as a punishment for bed-wetting. And the list goes on.

In short: public chastisement is nothing new. And, I suppose, each case should be measured differently. In the case of photos like the one above, it would seem that the punishment fits the crime. The liquor-holding picture was just as publicly as the sign-holding one; the former embarrassed the mother–and, the mother likely contends, should also have embarrassed the girl–and the latter has the girl on the verge of tears, while, as Billingsley attests in her comments section, “begging for a beating [as a punishment] instead.”

What do you think? Is it ever cool to publicly punish your child? Were you ever publicly punish in full view of friends and/or strangers? Would you try this method with your own kid?

  • c0c0puffz

    I remember mom threatening to come to school and beat my brother if he act up again in class.

  • http://itsoftenbeensaid.wordpress.com Sasha

    I think the punishment fits the crime- act out on social media then deal with the consequences via social media embarrassment. Its better than the approach most parents would take which would be passive or physically punishing them which would be even worse. If we lived in more of a shame intergrative society that didn’t reward bad behavior or encourage it but instead made you feel ashamed of your actions then we wouldn’t see anymore videos of teens and people in general doing ratchet things on World Star Hip Hop, YouTube, etc. I applaud this woman.

  • http://cupofjo-jo.blogspot.com bk chick

    I dunno…cuz if the kid sees attention as an award…be it good or bad….then doing this might not necessarily be a punishment…u may actually be rewarding them. Every kid acts differently so its best to figure out who your kid is and their personality so you can properly punish them.

  • http://stephanietalktome.blogspot.com Stephanie

    Um, my father would whoop my behind if I acted up. I’m a female and my father would definitely let me lip know what was up if I said anything slick. Now the government wants to tell you to let your kids act a fool because they want to gladly put them in prison. Discipline your kids in a manner that they won’t fear you but instead respect you when they get older. The truth of the matter is that I love the way that I was raised. I wasn’t allow to party as a child or be out in the streets and the belt was not off limits. My family is Jamaican and the whoopings alone let you know they weren’t from the U.S. lol But it wasn’t abuse. It annoys me that the white majority out there i.e. Elizabeth on The View constantly say that even slapping your child is abuse. Right. If you say so.

  • CurlySue

    I think this is a great idea. The fear of embarassment in front of one’s peers is often a better deterrent than a lazy “I’mma beat yo ass” threat or physical punishment itself. Asian cultures have perfected the use of shame to curtail anti-social behavior.

  • Natsuka (Summer Child)

    I do not believe it is cool for a parent to punish their child publicly.

    My mother did not hesitate to get loud or smack us (My sister and I) in public and it did not feel good at all.

    I would NEVER publicly punish my kid if I had one.

  • MeMe

    I was embarrased in front of my friends one evening when I was a child because I always liked to stay after school with my friends to play. One evening my mom came down and I got licks in front of everyone so you know that was the end of that!!! I’m not sure if I can be that type of parent, although I agree with the method. When I become a parent may be I’ll see things differently!!!

  • JessicaMercedes

    Punishment isn’t supposed to feel good. I would think that if a child knew they would be punished, especially if it would be in public, they would try harder to stay out of trouble.

  • JessicaMercedes

    I should also say that I do respect your decision not to publicly humiliate your future children. I’m not saying what your mom did was right or wrong, my dad did the same thing to me, and if come up with a better alternative then kudos. :)

  • Trinasobad

    I remember watching my mom whoop my sis right outside of her class. Lol! I support this woman’s parenting methods.

  • I got sense!

    Love it. Ont beat them take their precious technology from them. The o,der generations can do without social media, tv, play stations, and wii games for an extended period of time but the kids will go crazy because they have never known a time without them.

    Back when I was a kid punishment meant I couldn’t go outside to play. Stuck in the house looking out the window at all my friends playing was torture. My dog had also recently had puppies so all the kids in the neighborhood were at my house playing with my puppies. Omg it hurts now, thinking about it, lol.

    Spanked (1-3 licks) on the hand with a hand until age 5 is the most the little ones in my family get now. Past age 5 and they are far too intelligent for physical punishment. Teaching lessons by withholding things (can’t play in sports, no outside play, no electronic play, no tv, no toys, no extracurricular activity, no cell phone, no car, etc) is much more effective at teaching long term lessons like obeying authoritative figures and being respectful. Kids must be taught right from wrong and that lesson must be reinforced constantly not only through words but through actions. And if they disobey they must be appropriately punished. I think this woman did a great job and more parents should do the same. Put the belt down and really start thinking about what would be a fitting punishment for misbehaving.

  • binks

    I agree! In this case the punishment fits the crime, if she is acting a fool through public media than teach her a lesson through it. I do believe it depends on the case as well, for example the thing with hanging the kid’s bed wetting sheets is a bit extreme for me I don’t see how that will deter that problem but my mom coming to my brother’s school and spanking him did deter him from misbehaving in class. So it depends on the child and the circumstances.

  • Natsuka (Summer Child)

    We weren’t doing anything to get in trouble. My mother has anger issues and gets ticked off by the smallest of things.

  • iQgraphics

    I believe public humiliation at the hands of a parent will land your kid on a couch in their adult life. I don’t agree with it.

    My kid does not have social media.

  • http://guulo.wordpress.com/ Guulo

    I am very, strongly against public humiliation of any type, especially to a child. I would never do this to my child. Ever. I grew up with the values to never humiliate another human being in front of others and when you wish to say something to someone do so privately. Concel the private matters and faults of others and never make it public. I believe in this so strongly, so this bothers me a lot. Children make mistakes and have faults, they don’t deserve to be bullied in public in my opinion.

  • http://guulo.wordpress.com/ Guulo

    Just in case to be clear, due to an interpretation that can be reached, I don’t advocate to conceal crimes. This is not a “don’t snitch” code when I say handle things privately, but it’s about things like the story above about making mistakes, similar to the way when people get in arguments, they use personal information or past misbehaviors to hurt each other. I think that is wrong. Peace & Love.

  • http://www.checkintsh.blogspot.com Toni Staton Harris

    I think what Reshonda Tate Billingsley has done is excellent parenting. Her daughter should be upset and embarrassed about the liquor that is…. This is not abuse it is discipline, something much needed from parents today. More parents should follow this lead. Action like this give children the opportunity to think through their choices! Love it!

  • Hushpuppies

    When I was in first grade, my Mother and I attended back to school night. I was really excited because she finally got to meet my friends and see all of my paintings. She also got to see my desk, which was apparently too messy for her tastes– she made me organize and clean out all my papers in front of the other kids and their parents. Although I acted as though I wasn’t embarrassed when we were in the class, when we were inside of her car on the way home I started balling and told her that she “hurt my feelings” and that I didn’t want to go anywhere with her anymore. If I had a kid, would I ever do that to them? Probably not, I mean I WAS in first grade and public humiliation and that age is a little much. Shooting a laptop is excessive as well. If my kid hated cleaning so much and was a teenager, they would get the lecture of a lifetime, PLUS I would volunteer them for a neighbor hood clean-up program. But holding bottles of liquor on Facebook? I would probably pop off if any child of mine thought that was a good idea. I agree with Billingsley concerning that punishment.

  • http:www.chicnoirhouse.blogspot.com Chic Noir

    And I’ve heard of parents hanging their kid’s pee-stained sheets in the front lawn as a punishment for bed-wetting.

    I’m not against corpal punishment but this is a horrible thing to do. I would hear stories like this as a kid and I thought it was child abuse. No child means to urinate on themselves, it really is an accident. There isn’t a person on this webpage who hasn’t had the “I’m sitting on the toilet” dream. I’ve read that for some children, bed-wetting is related to anxiety.

    Thank God my parents didn’t whip me for this as a kid.

  • http:www.chicnoirhouse.blogspot.com Chic Noir

    A few months ago, there was a video of a man whipping his nephew. The uncle made his nephew post the video to his Facebook page because the nephew was posting “gang stuff” on his Facebook page.

    Unfortunately, a few months after the video, someone posted that the young man was killed.

    http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2011/12/teen-from-viral-anti-gang-spanking-video-killed/

    IIRC, Clutch did a post on a Dad punishing his young son because he acted out in school. The comments were heated, I got called everything but a child of God. Male commenters were on the dad’s side and women were divided.

    What do you think? Is it ever cool to publicly punish your child?

    Yes, show off in public, get that butt put in line in public. Want to act a fool but save your dignity, wait until you’re home were your friends can’t see.

  • apple

    Yep he lives where I live

  • I got sense!

    So I’m guessing it bothers you when people’s pictures and name are put on the news or newspapers for breaking laws? That should have been done privately? Also, should police come to your door at night and in dark clothing so not to upset you?

  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

    @ I got sense,

    Lawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd hammmmmercy!!! Stop ittttttt!!! You killin me ma!

  • Lisa00iz

    So being forced to join the neighborhood clean up club isn’t a form of humiliation? Will the child be in disguise when he/she picks up trash off the side of the street?

  • Alyssa

    We would not have known that about your mother. It’s common for parents to punish their children publicly in various ways so I think she(Jessica Mercedes) was saying is that in general a punishment especially a public one would be more likely to hinder rude behavior. One would hope punishments have a purpose(i.e. a child was misbehaving)

  • Kami

    Yep this is something my mother threatened to do once- under different circumstances of course, but “I pulled up my socks” .Punishments sucks the worst when it’s done in public.. I know) lol :)

  • https://twitter.com/#!/clnmike Tonton Michel

    Why not use the tools of their communication to get your point across to them and their audience.

  • Hushpuppies

    I didn’t say that my idea (neighborhood clean up) WASN’T humiliating. I do think it’s more productive and congruous to his lecture than ridding someone of a laptop via bullet holes. Also, I suppose if the hypothetical teenager wanted to wear Groucho Marx nose glasses while picking up trash, that would be acceptable.

  • http:www.chicnoirhouse.blogspot.com Chic Noir

    This is sexist of me, but I’ve always thought it was wrong for a dad to spank is daughter. I’ve always though that it sets up the daughter to take abuse from men later on in life.

  • Candy 1

    Yes, I’ve always thought it was really mean and unnecessary to punish a child for wetting the bed. What person (whether their age is 5 or 15) wets the bed on purpose? I mean, really, who wants to lay in a wet, cold bed? I think that parents only punish bed wetting because it annoys or angers them to have to get up in the middle of the night and change the bedding and clothes. I get a little annoyed when my kids wet the bed at 3 am, but I’d never make them feel bad about it or punish them.

  • Candy 1

    My parents never punished us in public. I won’t be doing it to my children, either.

  • http:www.chicnoirhouse.blogspot.com Chic Noir

    Thank you Candy 1,

    You know I was a bold little girl* because I remember sort of confronting a friend’s mother for spaking her because my friend wet the bed LOL.

    * Well I was over 5 feet tall before I turned 10 so I was as tall and sometimes taller than many of my teachers in elementary school.

  • Sasha

    Its scary how I agree with nearly everything you say!

  • H

    This was a good punishment. My parents were old fashioned and my siblings and I got the belt for misbehaving when were young. I don’t feel that it scarred me because we didn’t get them often, but there are ways to discipline kids without physical punishment. We got paddlings at school, and my parents told me that if I got in trouble at school, I would be in trouble when I came home. Spankings are not necessary, but some parents haven’t replaced it with anything that teaches kids that there are consequences for bad behavior. You send the kid to his room where has an Xbox, internet service, and a TV. You tell him no parties, but don’t take his tech away.

    I do think there could have been other ways for her to punish her in private. No phone for a couple of months. No internet or computer for a couple of months. No TV for a couple of months. No parties either.

  • http://guulo.wordpress.com/ Guulo

    @I got sense,

    Once I posted it I realized some could make that assumption, thus I made the clarification in the second post. Context is very important in discussions. In the context of this topic, it’s a family matter and it doesn’t involve a criminal offense or endangerment of another human being. I hope you see that major distinction.

    I see a child, who made a wrong choice, which in my opinion such a matter should be dealt in private and the child be protected rather than be made an example of in social media. Cheers.

  • Alexandra

    I applaud parents who are quick to take action when their child does something wrong.
    But I don’t agree with humiliation as punishment. Public embarrassment for a child?
    Is this the second time she did it? Did mom think about how this might change their relationship? I understand wanting to get her ego in check, but imagine how that will affect her later on in life. Do your disciplining behind closed doors, and maybe you child will Thank You in the future. I know I did. That’s only me though.

    No, I don’t agree with putting your child on blast, on social media no less where kids might start teasing her because of it. It could get worse from here.

  • Linda

    Bravo! If you mess up in public, then you get a public punishment. This is not abuse, this is good parenting!

  • http://www.facebook.com/naturalisme natural.is.me

    ‘putting your child on blast’ as this author put it used to be a part of my culture growing up. it was nothing to watch your classmate get a cut ass in front of the class or the school. parents would put the stomp down. it’s nothing to get a good assing anywhere you caused your trouble.

    nowadays my community has stopped that and we’re suffering for it. children that used to respect their parents now doing any and everything. they need a cut hip. if my child is getting out of line they will get that assing in public. and i’m not saying beat em up or hit them if they don’t tie their shoe in a minute i’m saying discipline your child and put the fear in them. in addition to other methods of course.

  • Kacey

    I think this is great. There is this trend of permissiveness among many parents who are more concerned with being their kids’ friends than being the authority figures in their own homes. I see it everyday and I believe it is the root cause of children’s behavioral problems and even bullying. There is this culture of “do what you want…do what you feel…whatever makes you happy”. It’s like there is no longer right and wrong, just as long as the kid is happy. I don’t advocate abuse, but this is not abuse. It’s called discipline!

  • Mocha

    I think it’s cool what Billingsley did. As an adult, I’ve seen social media sites come back to haunt folks because of what they did on their off time. I also hear that schools and prospective employers look to social media sites so we ALL must be careful what we do and what we post for the public to see.

  • Danielle

    The fact that “putting your child on blast” is even coming into question is what saddens me about today’s parenting. I was born in 1987 so I’m right in the range of kids who grew up with the Internet coming to prominence. My mother NEVER let me get away with cutting up in public and in the event that I dared to, she made sure to embarrass me to the point that I never wanted to do it again.

    Parents are so busy trying to be MILFs and DILFs who are more like their kids’ friends then overseers that they forget it’s their job to raise productive, respectable citizens. My son is not even two years old yet and knows there are consequences for his actions, such as when he throws a tantrum at night, we don’t read him a book before bed. The punishment should fit the crime and Reshonda did what I, my mother and anyone else close to me would have – she parented her child!

  • mamareese

    Nowadays there is too much involved with spanking a kid…child services, etc. You get them where is hurts,,,,technology. Take the phone, tv, web all that away and watch them meltdown.

  • CurlySue

    UUUUNNNIIIITTTTYYY!

  • Fatima

    I disagree. My father was the disciplinarian in my family while I was growing up, and I def never dated abusive men. Currently married to a wonderful and caring man, who I will also want to be the disciplinarian once we have children.

    However I can see your argument being valid if the father is abusive, verbal or physical.

  • dvine

    i love this.. more parents should be all up in their kids business incl. their social media sites.. ppl see pics that kids post that are questionable and automatically blame the parents but i commend this parent wholeheartedly.. hell what she crying for, she wasn’t crying when she was holding the liquor bottle or when she decided to post her pic.. these kids need to learn..

  • I got sense!

    I asked additional questions for clarity. If you are against public embarrasement I was simply curious as to how YOU felt about crimes being posted. I gather its ok if someone breaks the law but in no other instance. So, in your opinion, it is not ok for family members to publicly embarrass each other? Is that a one way street or should minors therefore not publicly embarrass their parents?

  • I got sense!

    I’m telling you. For many Asian cultures you never bring shame to your family. Think about how powerful that is when used properly. I love it. It’s the same thing in the black community when someone says ” you know better”. Acting a fool in public makes the parents look bad and everybody on this site knows it. Parents are constantly blamed for the actions of their children even when the parent are teaching them right.

  • Pingback: Cancer patients’ lip-sync to Kelly Clarkson’s ‘Stronger’ goes viral | Sports, News, Entertainment, US Legislation

  • http://theantifash.blogspot.com The Antifash

    “Also, should police come to your door at night and in dark clothing so not to upset you?”

    LMAO!!!

  • Lissa

    “Public” is different from “worldwide”, which is what has happened here. The world is not the place to discipline one’s child, and by this going viral, that is who is involved: the world. Millions of people are now privy to this girl’s humiliation. We, as parents, should not be exposing our kids (or our parental practices!) this way.

  • Lissa

    I disagree that the Jordan case and this one are “barely” comparable. They are identical in the manner of using social media to broadcast one’s child’s misbehavior. The internet somehow allows people to put everything out there, and as an educator in the field, I am trying to give parents the advice they need to protect their kids and their privacy. I am astounded that people believe in the cyber equivalent of stocks in a public square, because they are not thinking down the road, and the bigger picture. The kids who are now the subjects of “cyber-discipline” are permanently engraved on the ‘net, and more importantly, what are we teaching them? There WILL be peers, whether known or unknown, who will believe that cyberbullying (either these kids or others) is acceptable because they will model the adults’ behavior in these cases. BIG danger of perpetuating cyberbullying by modeling it.

  • Lissa

    Danielle, would you put your child’s photo, and his misdeeds, on the Internet for millions to see? Parenting is important but my problem with this is, why broadcast it? When you discipline your son, do you open every window and door in your house for your neighborhood to hear and see? Do you take him to the middle of the busiest park or playground and shout for all to hear, “this is how he’s misbehaved and look at how I’m handling it!”..? Because that’s what this trend denotes. Since when has it been acceptable to involve strangers in our parenting practices, especially when it exposes our kids to strangers looking in by the millions?

  • Lissa

    “in front of peers” is different from “in front of the world” – everyone with access to the internet is now sharing in this parent’s triumph in humiliating her daughter. How will this girl feel when she is googled by a future employee or college administrator and this story comes up? This should have stayed in the house, not on the world stage.

  • Lissa

    Spot on! The implications of this type of discipline are massively damaging. Opens this kid up to further cyberbullying. Cyberbullying, for the record, is what this mother has done – putting her kid’s photo online for everyone to see, humiliating her and opening it up for others to jump on board. I am vehemently against this new form of discipline. Keep it at home.

  • skr

    If you aren’t made to feel bad for what you have done, then there will never be any conscience about doing it again or worse. You can do just about anything these days a few times before ANY actual punishment takes place.. kids and adults included. It’s up to parents now to at least TRY to instill some sort of respect in their children in the hopes they will carry it into adulthood.

  • http://stacialbrown.com Stacia L. Brown

    The reason I qualified that statement with, “save for the fact that both parents decided to use their child’s chosen social media against them,” is that I believe that Jordan’s actions were more egregious. He gave his daughter’s name, he used a firearm, he admitted to unearthing a private/protected Facebook note while upgrading her laptop software, and he didn’t address her privately before deciding to this.

    In Billingsley’s case, she did discuss this punishment with her daughter, she has not giving her daughter’s first *or* last name, she’s left her face obscured. While those who know her or her mother would know who she is, the rest of us do not. Her employers likely will not, if they Google her name. She hasn’t allowed her disapproval of her daughter’s actions to escalation to a destruction of property *with a deadly weapon.*

    These are the ways that the two cases are incomparable.

    While I do share your believe that this kind of discipline is problematic because of the likelihood that it will encourage viral distribution, making both the initial offense and the punishment far more public than either party intended, I do believe that these punishments aren’t created equal. For me, at least, Jordan’s and Billingsley’s are not.

  • Zoe

    I approve. Being an eighteen year-old who only moved out last year it might sound weird coming from me. My mother was always extremely strict and while it wasn’t fun being punished for all the bad things I did, it was rather effective. I felt the consequences of my poor choices, which helped me to re-evaluate the next time I even thought about doing such a thing.

  • Sheila

    Alexandra, Lissa, I 100% agree with you.
    There’s a HUGE difference in learning your lesson through punishment from a caring parent and learning it through public embarrassment. I agree that there should be ramifications/punishment for her daughter’s poor decision, but the public embarrassment is extreme. The real issue, that another poster mentioned and I agree with, is how she got a hold of the alcohol in the first place.

  • Charity

    I am among those who have mixed feelings. I am a sensitive person and more susceptible to embarrassment. My parents, knowingly and unknowingly, disciplined with embarrassment. While it is good for stopping behaviour in the moment, I think that crossing th social line is a little like not following the rules of war. You are bound to loose at least some trust and respect from your child. Over time that can lead to anxiety about bringing ones parents into their adult life. (I feel too embarrassed for my parents to meet my partners family after 4years of a seriously relationship!)

    On the other hand, I was coming of age when the Internet and social media was first making a splash (think AOL Aim and MySpace). The Internet is a dangerous place for kids. Especially for young ladies striving to feel more adult like. I did plenty online that I was NOT caught or punished for… Guess what? I now feel pretty embarrassed about those poor judgement calls a naive little preteen me made! I wish my online activities were more regulated. Regulated by an adult who didn’t have the amazingly powerful hormone changes that cloud judgement.

    Final verdict for me:
    Good for keeping tabs on your kids!
    Be careful how you punish. All humans (kids included!) should be afforded some respect. Would you want your parenting faults blasted to your friends? Family? Church? Ahem! Didnt think so.

  • H

    @Stacia L. Brown – I think Mr. Wild Wild West was out for a bit of fame which is why I didn’t like his approach. I think there are better ways to discipline children for both cases. Taking all of their tech away for 2-3 months will definitely teach them a lesson, but I don’t think this was too harsh. If the mother had not been famous, we wouldn’t be talking about it really. That guy made a video and everything. YouTube videos going viral are much more damaging than blogs talking about this photo on the Web.

    I agree with Lissa as well, but the way that Jordan humiliated his daughter was over the top, and that is what makes the cases so different.

  • Cali

    Poor child. Her mother should have just taken her phone and computer, not this. This is abuse.

  • Phyllis

    I can’t believe people are okay with this in the age of bullying awareness. It apparently is possible to bully your own child and have it be sanctioned by a not-insignificant portion of the public. Shameful, humiliating, and sick.

  • Eric Jang

    “People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel”

    I don’t know if publicly humiliating a kid like that is a good idea. Reminds me of the good’ol days with gallows and tomato-throwing.

  • Kacey

    No, what’s shameful and sick are people who haven authority over their children.

  • Kacey

    *no authority

  • Kacey

    @Lissa: You seem to really miss the point here. This parent did not arbitrarily decide to
    “embarrass/humiliate” (whatever term YOU want to insert there) for no reason. It was done because she was acting a fool online already! This was a clear message – to her and her friends, who probably all “Liked” her posts – that this was not going to be tolerated and there are clear repercussions.
    With all due respect, your arguments point to your being precisely the type of parent whose kids are getting away with all types of “embarrassing” behavior, only you’ll be the last to know about it.

  • Lissa

    Kasey – my kids are well behaved, I monitor their online activities and have access to their accounts. I teach digital citizenship and safe/responsible social networking, so I know what to look for and am probably the first parent who would know if this stuff were happening. So before you judge my parenting skills, remember that you know nothing about me as I know nothing about you.

    Secondly – it’s fine for the mother to discipline her daughter at home, but why involve the millions of onlookers now privy to this embarrassment? This girl acted irresponsibly online and her mother did the perfect thing: take away that venue from her. But to then blast it to the world is taking it a step too far. Why are we learning about this? Why is it now a worldwide sensation when really, it’s no one’s business but the girl and her mother’s? That’s my point of contention. These parents who put their kids’ misbehavior and subsequent consequences out there for the entire world to see. That’s irresponsible at best, because it is now a permanent record that will never go away. Google it, and it comes up. Employers, college application boards, prospective suitors or professional contacts – this is what they’ll see. The girl is a teenager. What teenager doesn’t act out? They all do. But why public shaming? May as well bring back the stockades in the town square if that’s the way parenting is headed.

  • Lissa

    Apologies, Kacey, I misspelled your name and couldn’t get the post back to edit..!

  • Lissa

    I understand how you differentiated but now that this story has hit the ‘net, and millions are privy to this girl’s mother’s name, it wouldn’t take too much to find her as well. I take exception to any parent putting their child’s punishment online because nothing is private online, nothing is safe and everything is permanent. While Jordan’s was violent and more revealing (and he went on the talk show circuit, which I find even more despicable), both kids are now permanently online as misbehaving teens (*gasps* a teen who misbehaves?) whose parents called attention to them on the world stage. I just don’t agree with the methods. Taking away the social media? Great, that works. Blasting it to the world? What will happen when this girl steps out again? (We all know she will) How will her mother top this?

  • B

    Pictures are forever. When that young girl becomes an adult and goes to find a job, that picture of her as a teen holding a bottle of liquor may appear. If she wants show the world wide web a picture of her acting crazy, why shouldnt she be disciplined for the world wide web as well?

    Parents should be parents. Not friends

  • http://www.10centimeters.com areawoman

    Totally legit — the punishment fits the crime. This mom is using natural consequences to parent. If she puts up pictures of herself boozing at age 20, it might result in much more than mere embarrassment. She could lose out on a job, get expelled from college, etc. The mother is teaching her the perfect lesson.

  • http://blog.mommyrotten.com/ Mommy Rotten

    Look it’s not public embarrassment or nothing. There’s such a thing as a middle ground, you know where the child receives discipline but is NOT publicly humiliated. But then, if she did that she wouldn’t have the whole world stroking her massive Mommy ego.

  • James

    All of you people classing this woman’s form of punishment for her daughter as ‘bullying’ and ‘abuse’ CLEARLY have no idea what bullying or abuse actually are. Get yourselves a dictionary and look up the meanings. It’s a punishment, pure and simple. Employing all this hyperbole and talking like she slapped her daughter around is simply ridiculous. Someone even questioned what this might do to her daughter later in life! Seriously, get a grip. YOU might be a precious little weeping flower but most people are made of sterner stuff and can handle it. If you can’t then it’s about time you learned. Again, those whining about bullying and abuse are most likely the sort of people who fall apart and play the victim if a person so much as looks at them the wrong way. Grow up.

  • Tami

    I see nothing wrong with what the mother did…Sometimes you just got to play hard ball with these kids. That’s what they understand. I believe in tough love. Bet you her daughter won’t be doing that again.

  • bonster

    First, as for the Jordan situation, CPS only came out after hundreds of calls poured in claiming a slew of abuses (lies) completely unrelated to the video. People were making up accusations to ensure CPS responded and the Jordan family were cleared not only by CPS, but as well as the local Sheriff’s department. The daughter in question was more upset that people thought she would turn into a drug addict or a stripper because her father shot a “stupid computer.” I applaud the young lady for not taking the role of the victim and acting much more mature (y’know like an adult) than most commentary on that case or in this one.

    Second, if you are condemning this type of reactionary behavior by the parents, why are you posting the picture? Are you not furthering the goal by continuing (and also making the picture available for the entire internet as well) the so-called shaming by using the picture in your commentary or are you afraid no one is going to read your article if you don’t have proof of it? If you were truly concerned with the well being of this particular child, you could have linked to the original picture and made a spoof picture of your own. Pot meet kettle….

  • bub

    at what point during the reading of this article did you manage to hallucinate that the author is condemning such parental behaviour? read the article again. there is no such message. silly rabbit.

  • Thomas

    I absolutely condemn this mother for such actions. This new supposed “discipline by humiliation” is absolutely unacceptable and demeaning to children. SHAME ON YOU! SHAME ON YOU!. I cant say it enough.

  • MMM

    much worse than a spanking or even a beating. The problem here is that momma writes christian books lots of them, so when her little girl holds a bottle of vodka and says I wish I could drink this it kinda tells on Momma doesn’t it. That is why momma became a cruel bitch and humiliated the little girl in front of not her community or even her friends but insead the whole world. The child needs to be put in the care of her father or foster care but this christian book writing mother can not parent her child in a loving way and therefore should not be allowed to humilate the child. Some things are never forgotten. And this little girl will never truely forgive she can try she can tell herself that she did and does but she won’t there is no way she ever can. so yes this christian writing women is an unfit mother.

  • MMM

    you are so right. This was and is child abuse in the worst way. One that doesn’t serve it’s purpose and then be put aside and forgotten while the lesson is retained. This will haunt this child forever more. Perhaps when she grows up she can sue her mother for limiting her earning potential by her over zealous punishment. The mother was suppose to be the adult here. It is not as if she was drinking it only wishing that she could. Perhaps if this mother was the mother she wants us to believe she is she should have made sure her daughter did not have access to the bottle of vodka at her age in the first place.

Latest Stories

Cheers! 30 Not-As-Obvious Occasions That Call For Champagne

by

Maker of Infamous ‘Sizzurp’ Takes it Off the Market

by

How To Rock: Black Women In Orange Lipstick

by

Newsflash: Most People Aren’t Down With the ‘Swirl’

by
Read previous post:
If Steve Harvey Can Do It Why Can’t Tami Roman?
What Did Your Mother Teach You About Style?

Close