The Age of the “Teenage Cougar?”
According to New York Times columnist Jennifer Conlin, high school girls are setting their sights a lot younger when it comes to finding dates. The main reason? The girls seem to think younger guys are more respectful.
She semi-jokingly refers to these girls as “cougars-in-training,” interviewing a few of them and their boyfriends to get an inside look at what the appeal might be. Lots of ideas were raised: older high school boys trend toward younger girls, so it’s hard to find dates in the same grade; parents see younger boys as less of a threat; and there’s less social pressure (a rejection from a guy in your grade would be widely known and humiliating, whereas the younger guy could be described as “just a friend” and no one would think much of it).
Times sure have changed since Conlin’s day (and mine). In the ’90s, when I was a high school student, a senior who dated a sophomore would be given some serious side-eye. Socially, we were expected to keep our eyes forward, go for the gold (or the “grown,” as it were). It might be cool to flirt with a younger dude in a mixed-level class or in an extracurricular setting. But to actually make a freshman your boyfriend when you were a junior? It just wasn’t done. Younger guys seemed so green, so inexperienced, so… well, young.
Conlin reminisces:
High school years were like dog years back then. A one-year difference might as well have been a seven-year span, which is why the older boys looked so much wiser and more sophisticated than the boys our own age with acne. To score a college boyfriend was a real coup.
Could it be that, with times being far more perilous than they were years ago, as kids are maturing at much faster rates, this trend toward the younger guy is a protective measure? Might this mean teens aren’t in so much of a hurry to grow up and make their way into the difficult adult world these days?
Either way, it’s still hard to imagine an escort to the prom who’s barely old enough for a learner’s permit and whose mom likely wants him home by 11 pm.
What do you guys think? Have you seen this trend in action with your younger relatives? Did you date a significantly younger guy in high school, college, or beyond? If so, did you find it true that they were “more respectful” and “nicer to date?”
“The girls seem to think younger guys are more respectful.”
I think she means easier to control.
exactly that.
isn’t that why older guys tend to like younger girls? even high school aged ones?
@hmm – Lol right. And older boys easily manipulate these younger girls for sex. The girls are desperate to please in any way possible. It is less likely that an older girl is manipulating a younger guy for sex. They are probably manipulating them to receive attention and praise. They like lovesick puppies.
Girls are learning early that you dont have to get stuck with a jerk/jock who is under pressure to think he has to be in control at all times. Younger men can be willing to listen for the simple fact that a girl is older. This is a good trend. bout time girls took social situations handed down for generations just to turn around and reject the notion that they have to wait for a dude to ask them out.
As a senior in high school (circa 2001), I dated a sophomore throughout my senior year. It wasn’t so much about control but younger guys were not as eager to press up on you with stuff so in a sense they are more respectful. As a senior in college, I dated a freshman my last semester of school.
Hmmm….lol maybe I just like younger guys not for controlling them but because they are more fun and aren’t always thinking about an image or their rep.
This was pretty common back when I was in high school. I dated a Junior when I was a senior. I liked this freshmen too but he didn’t drive so it was out of the question. Younger guys expect less than the older ones do. They won’t pressure you as much which is a good thing.
I just don’t think it should be called “cougars” though because really the biggest age gap in high school is 3 years, which means really you are in the same age group. There is no generational gap.
True, but the difference b/w a 14 y.o. (freshman) and a 17y.o. (senior) behaviorally is COMPLETELY different. It’s not like comparing a 30 y.o. and a 33 y.o. I personally find the former to be weird at best…totally inappropriate at worst.