I love accessories. But unlike many of my sisteren, shoes don’t turn me on. I mean, if they’re cute enough, I’ll want to cop them, but I don’t have pairs and pairs of heels, sneakers, and sandals lining my closet. I’ve got my go-tos, but my collection is simple. But earrings? I love them! They allow me to express my creativity every, single day of the week no matter the setting, so I love to find interesting pieces that will not only stand out, but will also be conversation starters (men LOVE to comment about earrings, ladies). But despite my love of ear candy, when it comes to plunking down my debit card on anything over $25, I get nervous.

I’m not exactly sure why it happens. I can spend a chunk of change on my mama, my son, and lord knows I laced my ex with some wonderful things, but when I’m contemplating buying something for myself I hear Suze Orman yelling in my ear, “You canNOT afford it, girlfriend!” even when I can.

I’ve passed up on some fly earrings, dresses, cute shoes, a new purse, and even delayed buying a car for YEARS, all because I felt guilty about spending the money on myself, the person who earned the money in the first place.

But why?

When it comes to treating myself, why do I have such a hard time laying down the cash, but when it comes to others I can give and give and give?

I know I’m not alone in this. I’ve read countless blogs about putting others first and women who gave their all to everyone else so much that there was nothing left for themselves. And so far, this hasn’t really been my experience. I love my alone time. I have no problem taking a break and doing my thing (so long as it’s free/low cost), but when it comes to buying myself something, I freeze up.

What about you?

Do you have a hard time spending money on yourself? How have you dealt with it?

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  • cheechee

    Girl, I also have that problem.I just feel so guilty about spending money on myself especially on fun stuff like going out. Im even starting to resent my friends for being on my case for not wanting to hang out. I would much rather buy something for an aunt or just plain meet a need of another.And now we are supposed to hang out at a casino with some friends, I wanna get out of it so badly :-(

  • Chacha

    I have a hard time spending money on myself, and I didn’t realize it until I went shopping with my mom and she was shopping it up, and I kept picking up earrings and bags, saying how cute they were, but when she said “You should buy it”, I put them down and said “No…I shouldn’t”. And the stuff wasn’t even expensive.