Your Parents and Your Future

by Niema Jordan

By a certain age, you get used to people asking about your timeline. They want to know about your career the family you plan on raising. But how often does your role as your parents’ caretaker become the topic of conversation?

When you’ve gone off to college, relocated for your dream job, or built a base away from your parents, at what point do you start planning your return? I have a number of friends who are actively including their parents in their life planning. For some, there’s the desire to raise kids with grandparents. For others, there’s a need be around when the parents health begins to fail. And in some cases it’s just about feeling more like a family and building a sense of community.

When you plan for your future, are you actively considering your parents? Are you more concerned with being around them or providing for them financially?

  • Natsuka (Summer Child)

    I am not actively considering my parents as I plan for my future. My father has his own family (Wife and son), so I am sure they will take care of that. My mother and I don’t share the typical mother-daughter relationship, but she does with my sister, so she can take care of that. I am not in the least concerned with being around them or providing for them financially.

  • Paula

    Firstly I really loved the picture, everyone looks so happy and you can see the love…. Yes I am because I’m the first born, I already expect to be dealing with those issues in the future. I just hope I can handle it!!

  • LemonnLime

    I am the first born and I have started thinking about these things. I expect my parents to relocate to where I’m or my sister is living once they get older after we will be working they won’t. Luckily my sister doesn’t plan on moving super far away from home so she can be there for the immediately and I can join when needed.

  • http://nesheaholic.com LaNeshe

    These thoughts have definitely affected my location. I plan to eventually move to the west coast, but for now I’m keeping myself in Philly, 3 hours from my grandparents because I feel the need to be able to easily get to them for health or life emergencies.

  • Missie

    I took my parents into consideration and so I didn’t pursue some international opportunities with the vigor that I really wanted to. It would only make sense right about now, since my parents split and mum now has just me and my sis close by. The previous years’ decision not to go far away still bug me, though. I think if your parents are fine right now, then do you, and re-work the decision if something actually comes up.

  • http://www.venusmasontheus.com Venus Mason Thues

    My life changed overnight and has not been what I THOUGHT it would be like at this age since. The unfortunate truth is that I’d never really had so much as a fleeting thought about caring for anyone other than my children and someday in the very distance future, possibly my husband. However; in 1996 my mother, who had been assisting my grandmother care for my grandfather, an Alzheimer’s patient, suffered a stroke. In a matter of hours I became the caregiver for mom and my granddad; and took over mom’s role in helping my grandmother with running her personal and business affairs. Fortunately, Nana was vibrant, upbeat and above all healthy from that time until she took a sudden decline in health in 2005 at age 90. God has given me, my two daughters who were school aged when all this began but are now adults, and my husband the strength, courage and resources to care for these precious sweethearts. Mom is still with us and I marvel at her daily. Whatever her frail body and sharp mind allow her to do for herself, she does. To God be the Glory!

  • Candy 1

    I am the youngest in my family and the least financially stable (although my financial position is not bad, but my siblings are in much better places financially), so my older sister or brother would probably take care of my parents should they need financial assistance. I would be able to help with physical care like doctors appointments, feeding, and so on. I hope to God my parents never need that level of care, though.

    I do include my parents in my life as far as my children are concerned because I want them to have a close relationship with their grandparents. I feel like family is very important. We have to do what is best for our household, so should the need to move far away arise, then I’d do what I had to do to survive.

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