Are You a Daddy’s Girl?
It’s common knowledge that a daughter’s healthy relationship with her father bolsters her self-image, her confidence, and her ability to develop trusting relationships with the opposite sex. What’s less common is meeting black women who’ve been able to take full advantage of those benefits, with a loving, consistently accessible dad.
As research and a preponderance of anecdotal evidence indicate, the black community has “daddy issues.”
Still, black women who consider themselves the apple of their daddy’s eye aren’t nearly as scarce as we’re being led to believe. I grew up with plenty of them: daddy-daughter dance attendees, cotillion girls whose fathers formally presented them to polite society, girls whose fathers quipped about shotguns when they were old enough to date or whose fathers ensured they had used, practical cars by junior year of high school. In college, their fathers whooped and fist-pumped at their graduation and emptied the hefty contents of their off-campus apartments onto their backs. They co-signed home loans, provided down payments, and bragged incessantly about their brilliant daughters, whose entry-level jobs in advertising may as well have been akin to directing Super Bowl commercials when they were finished describing it.
Dads and daughters who get along well, confide in one another, and weather their differences in healthy ways are really sweet to see, together in action.
With Father’s Day coming up this weekend, now is a great time for Clutchettes who have great relationships with their dads (or who are just loyal to them to a fault) to weigh in on what it’s like to be a daddy’s girl.
Let’s work toward shaping a more positive narrative about black women’s relationships with their fathers.
Here’s your space to tell us about your favorite dad moment, the best advice you received from him, or how you feel about your adult relationship with him.
(Please note that more complicated and/or problematic relationships with fathers will be explored later this week. If yours falls into that category, please refrain from discussing it here.)
The best advice my Dad has given me is financial advice. He’s a wiz at that stuff.
The First Man I Ever Loved Was & Still Is My Daddy !
My situation is strange in that my father has been incarcerated my entire life. However, he’s always sent me letters and cards and has never missed a birthday. Despite, seeing my father twice in my entire life (once when I was 12 and again two weeks ago at 25), I am more like him than anyone else in my family. We both love reading, art, daydreaming, and making people laugh. He is the parent I see most of myself in. Our relationship isn’t traditional by any means, but that man taught me a lot about love and making decisions you won’t regret for the rest of your life. I am most definitely a daddy’s girl, even though my daddy can’t be with me.
What a touching story. Thank you so much for sharing. :-)
love my pops! he didn’t grow up with the best father but he used that as inspiration to be a good dad to me and my siblings!
both of my parents are two of my best friends now that i’m an adult. I can’t imagin what my life would be ilke without my father. from falling alseep until i walked on stage at every play i’ve ever been in to being right there ont he spot when i call about another flat tire he is my go-to man. and because of this i can definitely say it has shaped my relationships with men. however, i think it is important to note that i know plenty of other black girls when similar relationships with their fathers as i have with mine,
AS WELL AS i know black girls with a father who has always been there and yet have a meek relationship. in addition one of my best friends and roommate has no relationship with her father, resents him and i stil quite savvy when it comes to men. i think a father should teach you guidance for a healthy relationship (respect, honesty, nuturing etc) but because of my own experiences as well as the third party viewer to that of my friends, i think ultimately we are all responsible for the decisions we make. my daddy is just there to help me (hopefully lol) make the right ones