Are You There, God? It’s Me: Period Stories
The sad demise of Lane Pryce isn’t the only momentous event that happened on Sunday’s penultimate episode of Mad Men. Sally Draper “became a woman”–got her period–while on a date at a New York City museum with her creepy friend Glen. Upon feeling a little sick and discovering blood on a trip to the bathroom, a panicked Sally fled, taking a $25 cab ride back to the ‘burbs and her mother, a surprisingly compassionate Betty. Some folks, like over at The Frisky, are comparing Sally’s experience to that of Sansa Stark on Game of Thrones. The recent emergence of Sansa’s “red flower” (I suppose that’s how they talk on GoT) resulted in a stabbing of bed sheets. These dramatic portrayals of first menses led one commenter on Television Without Pity to lament that she wished men would quit writing these unrealistic scenes. Others countered that having your first period is sort of dramatic. It seems that how you judge the realism of fictional female puberty has a lot to do with your own experience.
Thank God for Judy Blume. I came of age when most every little girl I knew was devouring her books, including Are You There, God? It’s Me Margaret, which follows a sixth-grader as she explores religion and puberty. (Blume would later introduce us to sex with the scandalous Forever. The book was released in 1970–four years after fictional Sally Draper got her period and about 11 years before I got mine. I think post-Are you there, God?, post-Our Bodies, Ourselves, and post women’s movement, female puberty was less mysterious and frightening to those of us who were to live through it. By the sixth grade, I had chanted “We must…we must…we must increase our bust!” with Blume’s Margaret. I had listened to Diana Ross sing “When We Grow Up” on the Free to be You and Me album. I had sat through one of those painful girls-only info sessions in the school gym. And I had gotten “the talk” from my mother. I kinda knew what was coming and was okay with it.
When I found my period had started, one weekday evening while running errands with my mother and grandmother, I didn’t even bother to mention it until later at home. I wasn’t embarrassed about menstruation, but more the idea of everyone making a big deal about it.
That’s my story. No frightened cab rides or rending of linen. But the era in which a woman grows up (I happened to come of age in the love-your-body 70s) and how openly her parents feel about reproduction can make a difference in how smoothly the transition from childhood to young womanhood progresses.
What’s your first period story? It is dramatic, frightening or mundane like mine?
I started early 10yrs and lucky for me I was home with my then live in aunt. I remember her letting me watch tv in her room and having the serious talk about “fast boys in the area”. The next day I stayed home which meant a long weekend, and female family ( Blood and water) members calling my home wishing me luck into womanhood. I felt embrassed but brave.
Yes, it’s dramatic. Are we now recycling topics. Nigeria plane crash, please.
Hi African Mami – that we are not. Though similar topics – Tami had another angle from Stacia’s piece a month or two ago.
Also, Brit will be covering that story today – we are a very small team and we do our best.
Thanks :)
Dede
hey Dede,
I beg to differ, and still stand by my statement. Either way, cool! Thanks for the update!!!
I got my period at age 13 or 14, and noticed while I was working my first job. I took care of things myself. I didn’t even tell my mother until months later. I never told my father, but my mother probably told her.
It wasn’t dramatic at all.
I do have regrets I was raised in a pretty menstrual-negative household, school, society etc. While it was sort of a neutral experience to start puberty, it was also considered an experience we were supposed to keep to ourselves… besides the by-rote “women are crazy at ‘that time of the month’” (which is still happening today) and other negativity, we could use some positive framing of the whole business.
Things are different in my home now (with my daughter and son, and how my husband and I are raising them), but given you asked about our stories, there ya go.
Thanks for writing this.
I watch both shows (Mad Men and Game of Throne) and have wondered about the depiction of both young ladies starting menstruation. In GOT Sansa was made out to look very angry about the situation because she knew what it meant…that she can now bear children and Goffrey (the king) can use her at his whim for sex. They used the situation in a clever way that demostrates womens’ awareness of how men can use their bodies. The portrayal in MM, however, was disappointing but I suppose accurate for the time period. Sally is very immature despite trying to act otherwise (sneaking Glenn over, wearing makeup/high heels, etc) which really mirrors her mother (clever on the part of the producers). The part that shocked both my BF and I was the actual showing of blood in her panties! Very graphic I thought and a bit unnecessary for television…then again Lane’s bloated and graying face as he hung suspended from the ceiling was also a dramatic scene. I think both portrayals offer something to our cultural acceptance of the “normalcy” of menstruation (for God’s sakes, there’d be no us without it!) and hopefully will allow more young people to openly discuss the humanity of our sexual functions.
Good post (as always) Tami!
In her defense, Sansa Stark was so upset to get her period because it meant she was no okd enough to marry Joffrey, which she sincerely did not wish to do.