As Britni Danielle informed us Friday, the “zombies” are upon us. And in case you think this is all much ado about nothing, I direct your attention to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s Zombie Preparedness page. It’s not a game, people.*

1. Gnarls Barkley – “Run (I’m a Natural Disaster”)

Though not nearly as big a hit as “Crazy,” “Run” was a great choice as the first single for Gnarls Barkley’s second album. It’s catching and haunting, like their signature hit, but a little less maudlin. For obvious reasons, I need this joint in the rotation–especially if my legs feel like they’re about to give out and the Bath Salt Cannibals are hot on my trail.

2. “They Don’t Really Care About Us”/”Scream” – Michael Jackson

You thought I’d go right to “Thiller,” huh? Well, while Thriller is absolutely appropriate here and it’s a certified banger, I need some of MJ’s less literal jams in case of brain-eating emergency. “They Don’t Really Care About Us” will keep me focused on the big picture here. It’s not personal; they can’t be reasoned with. These creatures are not here for my pleading for my life, so I’d better toughen up. “Beat me, hate me; you can never break me/Will me, thrill me; you can never kill me,” is just the kind of lyric I’ll need to woman up and outwit the legion.

I’ll also need “Scream,” because I’ll be doing a LOT of that.

3. “Halfcrazy” – Musiq

Sure, this is a little mellow for the zombie apocalypse. But it’s about feeling like you’re losing it. And if my love is eaten by zombies in front of me, I’ll be losin’ it, all right. I won’t just be “halfcrazy,” I’ll go all the way.

4. “People Everyday” – Arrested Development

This song makes the cut because it tells the story of a dude who’s pushed to the brink. Let’s be real; I’m not gonna be out here huntin’ zombies–but if they come for me, I’ll be forced to take a page from Speech’s playbook: “And like I said before, I was mad by then; it took three or four cops to pull me off of him.” (If there are cops left to pull me off a zombie, that’d be really awesome. Wishful thinking, for the win!)

5. “I’ll Be There for You/You’re All I Need to Get By” – Method Man featuring Mary J. Blige

“There are few things that’s forever, my lady/We can make war or make babies.”

Welp. It’s wartime right now, fam. So let’s go get this.

I always felt like the melody on this song had a really eerie, gothic quality. And doesn’t Method Man look kind of like zombie, in that one scene where he cocks his eye?

Add your own playlist to the comments below.

*Yes, it is. It’s totally a game.

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5 Comments

  1. Dalili

    This article tickled me so @ Stacia! Imagining myself creating a zombie apocalypse mixtape reduced me to a fit of giggles so much so that I can’t think of one song. Thank you for my first belly laugh of the day, am not sure that was your intent but thank you nonetheless.

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  2. wow i love how my comment of how insensitive and messed up this is in reaction to people being murdered and eaten by cannibals wasn’t approved.

    GREAT MODERATING CLUTCH!

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  3. Marie Matt

    I personally feel the best Zombie Apocalypse video is Micheal Jackson’s Thriller. That’s by far the best one I have seen.

    But, the main point of concern today would be, is Zombie Apocalypse coming our way? With CDC denying this, there have been cases that confirms the report like, there was the case of a nude man eating that other guy’s face. Then, a mom was accused of killing her baby, eating his brain and biting off three of his toes. Then, there was that college student who killed a man and ate part of his brain. AND the Canadian psycho gay porn star who killed his lover in Montreal, ate parts of the body, and posted it online before being arrested in Berlin.

    It’s not time to panic yet??? Or I guess it is.

    Save the world from a zombie cannibal apocalypse. Learn how at: http://bigbudsmag.com/lifestyle/article/medical-marijuana-strain-guide-surviving-zombie-apocalypse-june-2012

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