Father’s Day Cards For Single Moms – A Do or a Don’t?
It’s that time of year again, Father’s Day is upon us this weekend and somewhere between the commercials about gifts for dad and the rhetoric about whether or not dads are as financially valuable as moms, is the growing trend of giving single moms Father’s Day cards.
Last year I wrote about the bitter chicks (sorry, that was harsh) who couldn’t wait to use their Facebook statuses and tweets to knock all the deadbeat dads, thus turning a day to honor great dads into a collective group therapy session. And I get it. Some people didn’t grow up with fathers at home, let alone have fond memories of the man who gave them life. But for those of us who did, the massive negative vibes sent out on Father’s Day was a bit disheartening.
Recently, a friend of mine sent out a “warning” status on Facebook. She informed her friends NOT to tell her “Happy Father’s Day” on Sunday. You see, she’s a single mom, but like many, she doesn’t want any special praise for having to play both roles. But the trend of shouting out moms on Father’s Day seems to be growing.
This morning one of my Facebook groups erupted in discussions about whether or not giving single moms Father’s Day cards glorified single-parenthood, diminished the value dads, or was just a byproduct of a growing shift in American culture.
As you can imagine, the debate was pretty intense. Most of the men in the group were adamantly opposed to the idea of giving moms Father’s Day cards and many of the women (some single mothers) agreed. Another friend, however, pointed out that she was raised by her dad after her mother passed away and routinely gave her father both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day cards to show her appreciation for his efforts as a parent.
While I understand the resistance to giving women Father’s Day cards, if a child wants to honor their parent—no matter whose “day” it is—I’m all for it.
But what do you think? Mother’s Day cards for single fathers and Father’s Day cards for single moms—a do or a don’t?
I think its weird. I have noticed that Mahogany by Hallmark (their Black cards) have a lot of Father’s Day cards for moms.
I am so unsure if I should let loose on why that is such a bad look or not. But… if they already made the cards, they know the stats so… … …
I say no, I’m a single mom and trust me I do not replace the father in this role. Although I do recognize I take on more than a two parent home would it’s not exactly the same and I don’t want my daughter to be raised with the idea of this being normal, don’t care how many people are single parents or the circumstances that got us here won’t downplay the roles.
twee you are very honest and I appreciate that. i wish more people would see the logic in your thinking, instead of passing the blame to someone else.
Ms. Britni, thanks for posting your article, “Bitterness isn’t cute…” as well as the willingness to discuss this issue again this year. I’m still in the honeymoon stages (less than a year) with Cluth so to read those comments from last year were very interesting. We had a conversation/debate within my household and on social media last year. I do believe there was a place of bitterness rearing its ugly head to support Happy Father’s Day as the “second Mother’s day” to “single moms”. This is the part of this more popular, wide spreading, phenomenon in which I do not support. If giving a card to your mother for father’s day is rooted in bitterness, the card or gift is not going to solve the real issue of hurting. What it will do is deepen the situation and prolong it. Fathers are hurt by this. Just because some of these Fathers aren’t in the household, it does NOT mean they love or DO for their children any less. By giving Father’s Day cards to single mom is to discount the ACTIVE dads or saying don’t they exist perhaps. This is something I do not agree with. We need to support and show as much support to ACTIVE “positive” Dads as much as possible to encourage others to step-it-up/ Man-up.
If the father is a deadbeat dad, I can understand why the children would like to celebrate father’s day as a second mother’s day. More than likely, she is playing both roles. Even within this scenario, I still hope this new phenomenon doesn’t give “deadbeats” more of a reason not to step up. They don’t need any more excuses. If anything, they should look at this situation and THINK, “are we (deadbeats) doing this poor of a job that mother’s are appreciated even on Father’s day?!” This is the sad part: Deadbeats don’t care about failing themselves or their children anyways. So just maybe, some “single mothers” deserve the appreciation. Not only that; the truth of the manner, a lot of the single mom’s mothers step in when “Daddy” doesn’t do his part. So if these card makers industries and other well-wishers want to be politically correct, they would appreciate grandmothers/parents as well on Father’s day. Grandparents play a big role in raising children when the father is absent.
All of this could be another ploy for economists/merchants to make money off the consumer. It is obvious there is an absentee of fathers in the home hence single mothers home, so why not make a profit especially if the consumer will buy into it? As this new trend continues, I am just hoping more dads will step up and wiser choices are made by both parties. This situation is not going away anytime soon. It’s becoming a money market business. I say this because over the weekend while dining at an exclusive restaurant, a banner was displayed stating, “Join us for Father’s Day/Mother’s Day Brunch …” Well established eateries are catching on, so I’m pretty sure it will turn astronomical next year. We shall see.
I don’t see how giving a Father’s day card to a single mom discounts the good father’s, how would they know what single moms have received cards all over the world. If someone wants to give a SM a card that’s their business. The only ones who should be offended are dead beat dads but it is their own fault. Step up so you can get one too.
@LadyP
jokes on thr kid. Ig mom was actually both roles theit childrrn would have tjr same developmental trajectory as kids with both parents boths but thry rarely do.
@Ladybug94
Right, all over the world it isn’t known. On an individual level it is. Depending on that particular Father’s efforts, he may feel discounted if not recognized as the same extent as the mother. Sweetie, I’m sure it is the child’s business. Just like it is mine to state my opinion. Question for you, do you know me? Obviously, you don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t have taken the time to make that last ridiculous statement.
However, keep it coming. I can consider this (negativity) as part of my building strategies for my next endeavors.
A big DON’T. Let the men have their day.
Do. If the men did their job as a father then they should receive a fathers day card. If the women play the role of mommy and daddy they deserve both cards and deserve to celebrate holidays. Same goes for single dads. The only day to to give cards to deadbeats is on “Happy sperm donor day” “Happy absent incubator day” and those holidays don’t exist soo………