I blame both sexes in this stupid relationship! The men for being too weak to go out and get rejected by the girl they think they can do better with, and the women for not understanding that actions speak louder than words. You would think that if you are of marrying age and you have been with someone for two plus years and they aren’t asking you to marry them, that should be your cue. Guys aren’t good at closing the door when you haven’t done anything “bad.” At least I haven’t seen it.

The real title of the article should be How to Recognize A Man who thinks He Deserves Better….maybe that’s too long. Lol..but you get the point. Avoid those relationship purgatory at all cost.
serriasays.com

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If people choose to take what the writer presents and apply it to their lives, then who are any of you to slap their hands like you are so much more enlightened. Disagreement does not equal enlightenment. If you disagree, then you disagree for your own reasons. Your conclusions that the writer is promoting selfishness or misogyny are no more valid than someone else’s conclusions that the writer makes useful, valuable points.

Most blogs (BGAE included) do not profess to be news articles. They are also not summaries of sociological studies. Much like songs, they are the diaries of people who are telented writers and have a desire to share their thoughts. There is no nobility in attacking a creator and those who support him or her because you do not like what (s)he created. That course of conduct manifest a fear and discomfort with anyone who thinks differently from you.

BGAE (and many other blogs written by males) is a fun blog written by a talented dude. If you don’t find it fun, that’s cool. But, to condescend those who do enjoy it just because you disagree is even more arrogant and damaging than you are accusing the writter of being.

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It’s baffling how much credit women give to men for spewing garbage about women, but when women do it, she’s “catty” or “bitchy” or whatever. EVERYONE is confused about marriage, and has doubts and concerns… just because a dude steps up and says it doesn’t make him some kind of messiah.

/eyeroll

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Sometimes men are so dense, just because some of these other women are gun-ho for marriage and babies doesn’t mean we all are. And if I tell you I’m not interested in either and your still keep bring it up, I know it is time to dip!

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But I still think the images of Black women on that blog are degrading and hateful and I still think the blog author is trying to come up/ make money off of Black women,as usual and he will have the support and money of Black women, as usual.

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Marriage isn’t all about love and fun. To be successful, both parties MUST be dedicated to the institution of marriage. Many people aren’t. If you’re not certain that your man is dedicated to the institution itself, independent of your relationship with him…. Don’t marry him.

I guess the same applies to women… If you’re not dedicated to the institution of marriage, seriously consider whether it’s right for you.

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Stop acting like a long-term concubine if marriage is really your goal.

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The statistical facts are there for any critical thinking person. AA men are unquestionably, definitely NOT settling, at least not where marriage is concerned. They are not caving in to pressure to marry from any direction–family, peers, or partners. In fact, they rarely marry.

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Whether folks are aware or not, consuming those images and comments isn’t healthy for someone’s mindset.

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The reason why women are listening to this foolish (sprouted by every tom dick and harry, be he be married or not or even the like it is gospel truth is because the ratios has men in such a powerful position and certain folk are abusing desperation of women.

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That’s your business.

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“But you are making a bunch of assumptions with no real information” ——-> the title alone was ALLLLL of the information that I needed to know that the content is NOT for me. I’m not “protesting” by not reading, I’m exercising personal judgment.

“B/c a blog called “Black Girls Are Easy” could just as easily be a blog by some random guy who sleeps around and tells the stories of his exploits on-line because he thinks black women are promiscuous. And, fortunately, this is not the case.” —- FORTUNATELY????? That mess shouldn’t be there in the FIRST place! What do you think that the title implies? Stay at home mothers?

“And, no, those women discussed on that blog don’t resemble me just because they are black.” — “First they came for the communists, and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a communist….” I think you get the picture.

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The comment above was arguing against the quote presented in the article above…or thought she was arguing with it when really she just reiterated everything that he said and seems they are on the same page when it comes to men dating and marrying women for the same reason. and that’s what a lot of the people who are outraged are missing. They should just say, “With a title like that, I just can’t even try to see what it’s about even if I agree with him.” (That’s basically what I’m saying.) But instead they’re forming arguments that make no sense b/c it’s not based on incorrect assumptions. The woman commenting above seems to think the guy is okay with dating chicks just to have the security of sex and marrying them by default- to the contrary, he feels the same way she does about those types of men.

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I totally hear what you and other protestors are saying and you and other people totally have a right to be annoyed at the title of the blog and choose not to read it in protest. I am in no way defending the title of the blog and saying it is tasteful (I’ve criticized the title NUMEROUS times.). I am not trying to convince you to read it and like it.

ALL I AM SAYING IS (luckily) it’s not as bad as you think. That’s all. I don’t think the guy’s a relationship guru and I don’t take his posts as advice- they’re usually just humorous observations and real talk about what often goes wrong in romantic relationships between black men and women. That.Is.All. You are free to leave it, but it’s unnecessary to jump to dramatic negative conclusions about the psyche of people who have come across it and found out for themselves that it’s not as the title suggests. (And, as mentioned above, you should be able to express why you feel that doesn’t excuse the writer without throwing out insults.)

The tactful way to say what you feel is is: “While I have read what you wrote and understand that the content may not be as bad as I think it is from the title, I am still offended by the title because as a black woman, I feel we get enough bad press without having another suggestion that we are easy- even if in irony.” That’s a valid argument. I’ve not fought against it. But you are making a bunch of assumptions with no real information- and I’m just giving you a little information. ’tis all. B/c a blog called “Black Girls Are Easy” could just as easily be a blog by some random guy who sleeps around and tells the stories of his exploits on-line because he thinks black women are promiscuous. And, fortunately, this is not the case.

And, no, those women discussed on that blog don’t resemble me just because they are black. (I thought one of the big messages of Clutch this year is to emphasize and celebrate the fact that our melanin levels do not make black women a monolith!!!) There are microcosms within microcosms within microcosms. Within the wide blogosphere, you can label his blog as a “black blog” if you would like, but within that black blogosphere, they are addressing a certain group of black women (because there are different kinds of black women- again, we are not a monolith) making the mistakes often discussed on that blog are not like me. They do not represent me. It takes more than just a similar melanin content to be “like me” or anywhere near a representative. If that were true, then I’d be resembled by Superhead.

As a black woman, does Superhead represent you?

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I totally hear what you and other protestors are saying and you and other people totally have a right to be annoyed at the title of the blog and choose not to read it in protest. I am in no way defending the title of the blog and saying it is tasteful (I’ve criticized the title NUMEROUS times.). I am not trying to convince you to read it and like it.

ALL I AM SAYING IS (luckily) it’s not as bad as you think. That’s all. I don’t think the guy’s a relationship guru and I don’t take his posts as advice- they’re usually just humorous observations and real talk about what often goes wrong in romantic relationships between black men and women. That.Is.All. You are free to leave it, but it’s unnecessary to jump to dramatic negative conclusions about the psyche of people who have come across it and found out for themselves that it’s not as the title suggests. (And, as mentioned above, you should be able to express why you feel that doesn’t excuse the writer without throwing out insults.)

And, no, those women discussed on that blog don’t resemble me just because they are black. (I thought one of the big messages of Clutch this year is to emphasize and celebrate the fact that our melanin levels do not make black women a monolith!!!) There are microcosms within microcosms within microcosms. Within the wide blogosphere, you can label his blog as a “black blog” if you would like, but within that black blogosphere, they are addressing a certain group of black women (because there are different kinds of black women- again, we are not a monolith) making the mistakes often discussed on that blog are not like me. They do not represent me. It takes more than just a similar melanin content to be “like me” or anywhere near a representative. If that were true, then I’d be resembled by Superhead.

As a black woman, does Superhead represent you?

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I don’t literally have to EAT the poop to find out that it is bad for me. A causal glance and sniff is enough. Deductive reasoning.

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I swear, folks WORK to stay clueless.

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Yes oooo!

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It’s tough, crass, & off-putting, but I think it comes from a good place; it’s tough love.
And, personally, I’ve never been one to thrive under the mollycoddling school of thought when it comes to learning from others, so I’m already kinda thick-skinned enough to look past the cruelty of the blog’s package to appreciate the kindness of the message inside of it.
Dude is being cruel to be kind.

Many are intrigued but few take heed.
Like with all seemingly good advice I get, I’ll take heed, but not slavishly.
Let’s just say that I know to slip out right before folks start serving the Kool-Aid.

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Correct!
Given the recent article on the site, you can add porn to the mix as one of those things which give false expectations, use up precious body resources, distorts what sex should be and generally adds to the chaos of a greedy, selfish world.

Marriage is serious business!

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I did read the article ‘Are Black Women Difficult?’ and the last sentence helped me understand the title of the blog. I thought the author was funny and right on point on different issues. The pictures I could do without, BUT, it’s a site for black men, not black women, so they aren’t there to reel me in. It’s not that serious. I have a drama free dating life, and in most cases, I’m not the type of girl he’s referencing, so I’m fine with him telling it like it is to those that are. Maybe if you are, you’ll learn something. Otherwise, it’s a good read.

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“To another culture, she’s a supportive girlfriend.”

No, in other cultures she would be a fool. In other cultures, they dont have the same dating rituals as we do in the West or even in African American communities. Most of the world doesnt date and if they do, they dont date as many people and they dont date as long. Men generally tend not to get very serious until he is on his feet.

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“It must suck to be a Black woman. You can’t go out to the bar without throwing a drink in someone’s face. All of your friends talk shit behind your back. You never get chosen on the Bachelor. Your boyfriend only takes you to McDonalds. Either you go to an inner city high school that’s in need of Michelle Pfeiffer to help you learn to read or you’re stuck in the suburbs as the sassy sidekick to some witty blonde. Apparently Maury Povich is the only positive male role model in your life. Oh and don’t you dare get out of line with your man because the State Farm guy is always waiting to replace you with someone a shade lighter and with less attitude. That’s how TV portrays Black women so that has to be true, right? They’re all eye rolling, church going, McNugget eating, man problem having females whose only positives seem to be the ability to dance and dress nice. Today’s special word is BULLSHIT, as in the portrayal of Black women in the media has become straight bullshit.”
[link: http://blackgirlsareeasy.com/2011/12/why-are-black-girls-so-damn-difficult.html

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I’m in no way defending it’s name (I’ve written twice on this board that I think it’s in poor taste), I’m just saying that the content isn’t as bad as one would think and the author thinks he’s being creatively provocative (I don’t agree.). As I said before, it’s a tacky guy who says a decent thing here and there. I’m just explaining that the writer is ill-informed and thinks he’s being clever (but is obviously failing) and within the articles and ratchet photos, he actually makes some good points that reflect many of the views expressed in articles and in the comments here on clutch- he’s just gotta get rid of the cursing and naked pics.

Long story short: I just wanted you to know (as someone who has not ever read the blog) that it’s not actually a blog about how promiscuous black women are (which is what I was expecting when I saw the title). That’s good news. B/c if it were, the world would be a little bit worse.

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I see so many of my young sistas at work reading these blogs, most of what these brothas write, it’s so sad. Not just the misogyny and sexism that reeks from these writings, but straight-up opinion pieces from men who are in no position to be schooling women on relationships since they are still young and trying to figure their own sh*t out, yet women are taking what they say as fact. When you read some of this stuff it feels like we’re going backwards here.

I’m not saying that these guys are completely dishonest. They claim they are just writing how they feel or see things, but there is no introspection. Very few men are truly capable of any real introspection and re-flection. They rarely hold themselves or their gender accountable for their actions. You can so easily see this in what female bloggers write compared male bloggers write.

And again, these guys are what late 20, early 30s at the most? Then again, I shouldn’t use age as a factor, because look at Steve Harvey, ugh.

None of them are sociologists or therapists. They are in mostly in the same boat as you ladies, but for some reason, y’all give them greater credit into having “insight” into relationships or what as a woman you gotta be so they’ll want to be with you. Most of these guys don’t even know what they’re about yet or what they want in life. They spend so much time telling you what they WANT from woman, instead of trying to figure for themselves and other guys what they truly NEED in a relationship and from a woman.

Get off those blogs, or at least when you read them, take whatever these dudes say with a ton of salt.

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Maybe I’m weird but I don’t care to be married. If we know our relationship is real, why do I need to prove it to anyone else with a ring or a license from the government? Similarly, why commit to that if you know it’s not?

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VSB———>iLUV! It’s the brother to Clutch, without the necessary padding to soak in the emotions!

Naked with Socks On-OOOOOOOweeee, I read it when I remember it exists! That blog is sooooo juiiiiicy!!!!

Who is duping you?! Abeg, if you are going to be taking advice from people that don’t know you from jack and shiid, then you have a problem. You cannot blame what them. They are talking from experience. Analyze your stock, and see what value it is then decide whether the company needs to fold or be acquired!

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