I’m currently 18 going through this right now! Me and my have been at it since I was 13. I have 5 younger siblings and it seems that I have to be the mother to them because she is never around,she works but still she have free time that she choose to spend with her man and not her kids. I dropped out of school because me and my mom was fighting daily and teachers and school faculty members was starting to ask questions and get the police involved, so my mom decided it was better for me to drop out or else I would be the reason her kids got taken away and I didn’t want that to happen. I have spoken to her a few times about my education and she gets angry with me for no reason I was even kicked out twice for mentioning it to her which led to two very heated arguments. Now that I’m legally an adult I have no freedom not even freedom to enroll myself back into nor freedom to get a job. I want to move out and get my life back on track which seems to be the only way I get away from this but I have no where to go.
Wow.. I think I have gone through a lot that you went through. Im 22, done with college and have a job and working on finding my own place. I am also an expecting mother. My mom despises of me starting my own life. Being the Christians that we are, I always thought that the judgements and the redicules would end after becoming an adult, but this is only just the beginning. All I ask for is moral support but have YET to receive any. I have learned that all we can do is pray, ask God for guidance and he will lead us on the path he wants. Even though we love our parents, we can’t live for man. Only for God :-)
OMG I so know how you feel… Im 27 and moved back to my house at age 23 and still went to school. My mom is having a hard time letting go, but yet she still controls me. they moved to a bad area to live and would not leave me alone . I had to stay out in LA for a good job. I was the only one working and was angry how i had to pay their rent and was homeless staying at my step grandmothers house. Then I had to commute 80 miles and still pay their rent. They make me feel guilty because I want to leave the house and go back to school .I get judge because I want to move out for school and feel its a double standard because my brother is allowed to move out. I eventually lost my job. And I cant find one close by because there are no jobs out here at all. Now that I have a bf they act like im going to move out and sin that i should move out when i get married???? im sick of them controlling me to top it off if we move to LA I have to pay them rent while still being controlled??? Im going to pray to God because I can not live for them anymore …Its to much I shouldnt pay for the consequences of their youth and their mistakes…
So now that my mother has me in the most impossible trap, she is not coming to help me tomorrow. I have no food, no money, no diapers, no wipes, no toilet paper, no friends no family and no way out and all she wants to do is make promises she doesn’t want to keep. She’s the one who got me into this situation and if I confront her about it all she does is blame me for it. Okay, that’s fine, but when she makes a promise to come help me do laundry tomorrow, why did she just send me a nasty email saying she will never speak to me again?
Hello,
I am 22 and I moved out yesterday into my boyfriend’s parents’ house. Granted, it is not how I imagined moving out for the first time and it isn’t the ideal situation but his parents and my boyfriend have been very supportive and have welcomed me like I never expected. I go to college (am almost done) and have a stable job. My family is not taking it well. It could have been worse but it makes me sad to know I have hurt them. They have worked hard for my little brothers and I and I am the first child to move out so I know it must be hard for them. I feel somewhat selfish for my decision. My mom and I argued a lot (it has gotten a little better lately) but she has always been controlling and it has gotten to the point that I always felt like she was watching me (even though I knew she wasn’t), I always hid things from her (everyday), and I always felt like I had to have a response ready for her and this was affecting me negatively mentally. I was (am) depressed because of it and I hated going home, would cry on my way home every day for a while now. I would find any excuse to get out of the house and realized this too was hurting my parents. I know I am not the best daughter but I can’t help to think that if my mom had been a little more warm, less moody, and less overbearing, that things would have been better at home. It is my first day out of the house and she does not want to talk to me right now. I can’t stop thinking about how much I have hurt my family (I also live with my grandma, aunt, and two younger brothers, plus my dog, which I love so much but could not bring with me). This is definitely hard but I hope that in the end, my parents and I will have a better relationship now that the control factor has been removed. I hope they can come to understand why I made my decision, even if I told them the news and left with my boyfriend that same night. I know it was not the right way but I felt so trapped I needed to escape. Even if I had stayed for a couple more days, I am sure it would have been awkward and tense with my parents, and the final result would have been the same; I would have left either way whether right away or a couple of days after. I have learned a lot from my mother’s parenting. I don’t want to be the same with my children. My mom is a great parent and she loves us with all her heart but she can be very aggressive and controlling even though she denies it. That is why this hurts.. because they have worked so hard for us and I feel bad I just left them. But I was on the verge of thinking about suicide (even though I know I would not have gone through with it, my mind was so negatively affected by my mom it seemed like it was the only way to feel the relief I have been wanting all this time). This morning, since waking up, I have not stopped thinking about them and how they must be feeling. But I can’t help but feel different.. relieved, I even woke up early, which at home, I never did. I would always wake up around noon or a little before because it felt so hard to get my day started due to my depression. I had breakfast, which I never did at home, since I was always rushing to leave. And I shared some laughs with my boyfriend, which if I were at home, I would be frustrated and crying. It definitely feels different and better but I will surely miss my family.
My point is, and I apologize for all my writing, I am just subconsciously venting, everyone eventually moves out. The need for control is mentally-damaging to those it is brought upon. And sometimes, one can only take so much of it. Mom, I am very sorry I hurt you but I really wanted to feel something other than stuck like I did. I hope we can come to understand each other and communicate better than before, with time. There is no need for anger, just a little bit of sadness because even though some things will change, not everything will. I am still your daughter, you are my mother, even in different locations. I will always love you and I thank you for the hard work you and my step dad have always put in to make sure my brothers and I are taken care of but I really needed to do this for myself. Otherwise, I would be stuck at home, unhappy, unmotivated, and depressed, just for the sake of being home. I feel like I am on my way to being a happier, healthier, and more at peace individual.
If you are going through the same situation, think it through. It is difficult but it is possible, despite what your parents tell you. In the end, it is your happiness after all.
I’m currently 18 going through this right now! Me and my have been at it since I was 13. I have 5 younger siblings and it seems that I have to be the mother to them because she is never around,she works but still she have free time that she choose to spend with her man and not her kids. I dropped out of school because me and my mom was fighting daily and teachers and school faculty members was starting to ask questions and get the police involved, so my mom decided it was better for me to drop out or else I would be the reason her kids got taken away and I didn’t want that to happen. I have spoken to her a few times about my education and she gets angry with me for no reason I was even kicked out twice for mentioning it to her which led to two very heated arguments. Now that I’m legally an adult I have no freedom not even freedom to enroll myself back into nor freedom to get a job. I want to move out and get my life back on track which seems to be the only way I get away from this but I have no where to go.
Wow.. I think I have gone through a lot that you went through. Im 22, done with college and have a job and working on finding my own place. I am also an expecting mother. My mom despises of me starting my own life. Being the Christians that we are, I always thought that the judgements and the redicules would end after becoming an adult, but this is only just the beginning. All I ask for is moral support but have YET to receive any. I have learned that all we can do is pray, ask God for guidance and he will lead us on the path he wants. Even though we love our parents, we can’t live for man. Only for God :-)
OMG I so know how you feel… Im 27 and moved back to my house at age 23 and still went to school. My mom is having a hard time letting go, but yet she still controls me. they moved to a bad area to live and would not leave me alone . I had to stay out in LA for a good job. I was the only one working and was angry how i had to pay their rent and was homeless staying at my step grandmothers house. Then I had to commute 80 miles and still pay their rent. They make me feel guilty because I want to leave the house and go back to school .I get judge because I want to move out for school and feel its a double standard because my brother is allowed to move out. I eventually lost my job. And I cant find one close by because there are no jobs out here at all. Now that I have a bf they act like im going to move out and sin that i should move out when i get married???? im sick of them controlling me to top it off if we move to LA I have to pay them rent while still being controlled??? Im going to pray to God because I can not live for them anymore …Its to much I shouldnt pay for the consequences of their youth and their mistakes…
So now that my mother has me in the most impossible trap, she is not coming to help me tomorrow. I have no food, no money, no diapers, no wipes, no toilet paper, no friends no family and no way out and all she wants to do is make promises she doesn’t want to keep. She’s the one who got me into this situation and if I confront her about it all she does is blame me for it. Okay, that’s fine, but when she makes a promise to come help me do laundry tomorrow, why did she just send me a nasty email saying she will never speak to me again?
Hello,
I am 22 and I moved out yesterday into my boyfriend’s parents’ house. Granted, it is not how I imagined moving out for the first time and it isn’t the ideal situation but his parents and my boyfriend have been very supportive and have welcomed me like I never expected. I go to college (am almost done) and have a stable job. My family is not taking it well. It could have been worse but it makes me sad to know I have hurt them. They have worked hard for my little brothers and I and I am the first child to move out so I know it must be hard for them. I feel somewhat selfish for my decision. My mom and I argued a lot (it has gotten a little better lately) but she has always been controlling and it has gotten to the point that I always felt like she was watching me (even though I knew she wasn’t), I always hid things from her (everyday), and I always felt like I had to have a response ready for her and this was affecting me negatively mentally. I was (am) depressed because of it and I hated going home, would cry on my way home every day for a while now. I would find any excuse to get out of the house and realized this too was hurting my parents. I know I am not the best daughter but I can’t help to think that if my mom had been a little more warm, less moody, and less overbearing, that things would have been better at home. It is my first day out of the house and she does not want to talk to me right now. I can’t stop thinking about how much I have hurt my family (I also live with my grandma, aunt, and two younger brothers, plus my dog, which I love so much but could not bring with me). This is definitely hard but I hope that in the end, my parents and I will have a better relationship now that the control factor has been removed. I hope they can come to understand why I made my decision, even if I told them the news and left with my boyfriend that same night. I know it was not the right way but I felt so trapped I needed to escape. Even if I had stayed for a couple more days, I am sure it would have been awkward and tense with my parents, and the final result would have been the same; I would have left either way whether right away or a couple of days after. I have learned a lot from my mother’s parenting. I don’t want to be the same with my children. My mom is a great parent and she loves us with all her heart but she can be very aggressive and controlling even though she denies it. That is why this hurts.. because they have worked so hard for us and I feel bad I just left them. But I was on the verge of thinking about suicide (even though I know I would not have gone through with it, my mind was so negatively affected by my mom it seemed like it was the only way to feel the relief I have been wanting all this time). This morning, since waking up, I have not stopped thinking about them and how they must be feeling. But I can’t help but feel different.. relieved, I even woke up early, which at home, I never did. I would always wake up around noon or a little before because it felt so hard to get my day started due to my depression. I had breakfast, which I never did at home, since I was always rushing to leave. And I shared some laughs with my boyfriend, which if I were at home, I would be frustrated and crying. It definitely feels different and better but I will surely miss my family.
My point is, and I apologize for all my writing, I am just subconsciously venting, everyone eventually moves out. The need for control is mentally-damaging to those it is brought upon. And sometimes, one can only take so much of it. Mom, I am very sorry I hurt you but I really wanted to feel something other than stuck like I did. I hope we can come to understand each other and communicate better than before, with time. There is no need for anger, just a little bit of sadness because even though some things will change, not everything will. I am still your daughter, you are my mother, even in different locations. I will always love you and I thank you for the hard work you and my step dad have always put in to make sure my brothers and I are taken care of but I really needed to do this for myself. Otherwise, I would be stuck at home, unhappy, unmotivated, and depressed, just for the sake of being home. I feel like I am on my way to being a happier, healthier, and more at peace individual.
If you are going through the same situation, think it through. It is difficult but it is possible, despite what your parents tell you. In the end, it is your happiness after all.