Ladies and The Hip-Hop that Loves to Hate Us

by Amanda Seales

A woman being disrespected in hip-hop is nothing new.  As much as I love hip-hop I think we can all pretty much agree it hasn’t been the best about requiting that love to us ladies.  We all sing along to songs like “Bitches Ain’t Shit” and “Ain’t No Fun” brushing aside the wildly misogynistic lyrics because well, it’s hip-hop and we’ve made it “okay”.  We conjure up all kinds of explanations to cushion our cognitive dissonance; “It’s self expression!” “The beat is really what I’m dancing to!” and the all time classic, “Well, he ain’t talking bout ME!”  Be real, we’ve all said all of these at some point or another to excuse ourselves from basically willingly taking part in the marring of our own femininity by the hands of a male MC.  So the beat goes on, along with the beat down of our worth, as the disrespect gets packaged as entertainment.  It’s just the way it is.  I wish it stopped there, however unfortunately it doesn’t.

See the thing about art is it often imitates life, and vise versa.  Creating somewhat of a conundrum of cause and effect.  Now, I don’t know which came first, the chicken or the egg, or in this case the chickenhead or the MC, but somehow the disrespect that was being put on wax began being put in the mix.  Many of the men on the mic who were disrespecting and objectifying women in their songs began doing that in actuality.  Which then trickled down to their crews, to behind the scenes professionals, and to fans, until it became a known part of the culture.

I’m not saying it was embraced by all, but few challenged it.  I’ve always said that hip-hop is a cockfest and women simply don’t have any party favors.  Meaning, the culture, as much as women were a vital part of building it and are a vital part of living, sustaining, and nurturing it, is a man’s world therefore women, by nature of being, well, women will never get an equal shake.  So when faced with that all to common less-than treatment many of us woman of the hip-hop guard are put in the predicament of put up or shut up.  We want to be taken seriously as members of this rhythmic realm so even though the instinct may be, “Wait this doesn’t feel right.  I shouldn’t let this rock” the common reaction chosen is to just “be cool.”

Nothing gets checked or challenged.  Like I said before, hip-hop is a man’s world, and by crying foul you easily get ostracized, labeled a “bitch” or, dare I say, a “diva”, or even worse, weak.  “Can’t handle the heat, stay out the studio.”  We allow ourselves to become “one of the guys” in order to fit in and prosper in the man’s world of hip hop, letting countless infractions of disrespect go down.  (Have you ever heard of someone claiming “sexual harassment” in hip-hop?  Me either.)  Thus the behavior continues and with the anonymity of the Internet it has only worsened.

Last weekend when I was hosting the 5th Annual Roots Picnic in Philly, during a performance by rapper, Wale I tweeted:

This ni99a Wale just moonwalked on stage.

I’m always amazed at the love women have for him

Lol He be rappin tho

Back on his bus he saw the tweet, inquired about where I was, and brazenly approached me while I sat on stage taking in De La Soul’s amazing set.  Furiously he demanded an explanation for the tweet, yelling, “So if I tweeted that I’m amazed at how men like you wouldn’t be upset?”

I tried to brush him off telling him to “Leave it alone and lemme enjoy the show!”  Still he was bothered, yelling over the music, “You tryna dis me?!”

Frustrated with the topic and his accusatory tone I yelled back sarcastically, “Yes Ok Yes I was trying to dis you.  You happy now?  Leave me alone!”

  • Cloudy Summer Day/Teiko

    Wale is a disgusting, little creature. He becomes enraged about every little thing someone says about him. He uses Twitter to show his false bravado. He is nothing but another misogynistic Negro.

    Rappers have so little value as whole beings. They can only diss people by telling them they are broke or are irrelevant, because the only thing that makes THEM relevant to music is how much money they are making.

    “It’s self expression!” “The beat is really what I’m dancing to!” and the all time classic, “Well, he ain’t talking bout ME!”Be real, we’ve all said all of these at some point or another to excuse ourselves from basically willingly taking part in the marring of our own femininity by the hands of a male MC. ” – I have never said anything like that, ever! Nor have I ever sung along to “B*tches ain’t shit” and “Ain’t no fun”.

  • TyneandWear

    “Meaning, the culture, as much as women were a vital part of building it and are a vital part of living, sustaining, and nurturing it, is a man’s world therefore women, by nature of being, well, women will never get an equal shake.”

    Can you qauntify this statement please?

    If women want an “equal shake” , they are just going to have to make an equal contribution to the culture. They havent. Your above statement notwithstanding.

    A lot of rap music is just plain misanthropic. It has a hatred of all humanity, not just women. Their sheer unadulterated violence within a lot of rap music against men and boys far outweights anything ever said about women or anyone else. As I have written previously, consumers have all of the control. Vote with your wallets or make your own way.

  • lulu

    female mc’s back in the day didnt take this mess of men- remember latifah, roxanne shante, mc lyte- of course they could rap so they didnt have to

  • Yb

    The consumers are white. So you are right the consumers do have all the control, and as long as they do music of violence between black men, sexual objectification, assault and misogyny toward black women, and materialism will continue being played.

  • B

    “Five minutes later, in a rage, he approached me head on, nose to nose, his hand in the well known “two fingered gun” formation pointing threateningly as he demanded, “YOU NEED TO WATCH WHAT YOU SAY.”

    If you were a male, chances are this situation would have never happened. People only show face when they feel they have a better or equal chance against their opponent. Hence why I believe Funk Flex’s tone with Nicki Minaj during their hour long un-edited interview was both demeaning and inappropriate.

    However, I don’t think waving the “but, I’m a woman!” flag, like Nicki also did, is an appropriate response to the bullsh*t either. Actually, I think playing the gender card is a weak move for females. Saying but “I’m a woman” doesn’t remove or erase the situation at all. It’s a passive plea for a ‘get out of jail for free’ card.That should be the last point made, if it’s even made at all. That claim is so easily dismissible with a “and?!” or “bitch!” or any other derogatory response that could shut down the debate before it even started. The point of the discussion should revolve around the actual bullsh*t said or done. If [Wale] was to refer back a derogatory word or phrase to get his ‘dick-grabbing’ point across, then take the minor L and reply “yup. and?” Neutralize his charge, put the ball back in your court and serve his a**!

    Don’t hide behind your gender!

  • LN

    I want to have empathy for Amanda Diva, I really do. But a remember a few years back when Slim Thug was talking crazy about black women (saying that his chick is “black and white” and it was the white part of her that treated him like a “king”, and that black women needed to learn from it), she RAN to his defense. How do I know this? Because I had a brief Twitter battle with her over the incident, lol.

    She had defended his statements saying that Slim Thug was a nice guy, and women should consider that when receiving his statements. I told her that I couldn’t believe that a woman would defend such racist, sexist nonsense.

    So it’s funny how, when the table is turned, and the misogyny and aggression is turned towards her, she’s ready to cry foul.

    ANYway…

    It is a well known fact that 98% of men in hip hop (and probably a high percentage of men in music in general) are misogynistic, and as a result I no longer patronize hip hop. I might listen to a single on the radio, but I no longer purchase rap music from ITunes, because I’m putting my money where my mouth is. I’m not going to fuel an industry that encourages aggression and violence against women, and reduces them to sexual objects.

    All I can say is that I’m glad that hip hop is in decline. It might seem a heartless thing to say, but it makes me HAPPY that these rappers are struggling to go platinum and even gold. It makes me HAPPY that pop music is overtaking hip hop. It makes me HAPPY that one of the biggest selling rap artists right now is a WOMAN. It’s about time that this kingdom built on violence, celebrated ignorance and misogyny come crumbling down!

  • Merci

    If you are women that listens to hip hop you are choosing to accept a culture that disrespects you, well…you get what you paid for. People always talk about these glory days of Hip Hop when it wasn’t about sex drugs and violence. I grew up in the 90’s – it’s always been about sex, drugs and violence.

    Misogyny is a part of it. As a high school counselor in NYC I am constantly teaching against the hip hop mindset. I believe it to be detrimental to many young and beautiful black boys and girls.

  • cocochanel31

    I’m a little lost by the Wale comment as well
    Why not just explain what you meant
    it may have gone over better on his part ..just imo
    still gives him no right to be downright disrespectful

  • Merci

    LOL @ Nor have I ever sung along to “B*tches ain’t shit” and “Ain’t no fun”.

    Agreed!

  • dee

    Wale is a contradictory mess. First of all if you were so “irrelevant” and so much of a “charity case” why does he care about what you typed on twitter? Sounds to me like he went backstage, showed the message to some of his boys and groupie chicks, got pumped up and decided this was a fight that: a) he could win and b) he needed to address so he didn’t look like a punk to his entourage. In the end he pulled a punk move and made himself look like a looser.

  • d_nicegirl

    Bless that little dude’s heart. I wonder if he menaces all the people who are confused by his appeal to some women. He would have to be menacing 24/7. You struck a nerve because he knows that it’s the money, not him, that’s turning those misguided chicks on.

  • d_nicegirl

    But what was there to explain? It was pretty obvious what she meant. She thinks he is unattractive. That would not have gone over any better with an explanantion.

  • B. Payne

    I see where Amanda is coming from but women have been disrespected waay before hip hop existed. Hip Hop’s way more aggressive in expression but women have been fighting male chauvenism for years.

    I can’t be bothered by what rappers say because they are way more insecure than the women they speak against. That Wale example is proof.

  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

    Instead of Wale caring that he needs to buy CARESS-the body wash and take him a long luxurious shower, he is busy pseudo threatening you?! Uh uh. This cannot be the state of hip-hop/or is it shit-pop. Wale, c’mon son! Get you a shower, clothes that fit and a career then threaten people. Until then…..imma just have to give you the epic side eye

  • Dawn

    Uh, I’m not sure why that’s shocking to him. He and others who aren’t exactly “winning” in the looks department, like Rick Ross and Lil Wayne, have to realize they wouldn’t have women at their shows falling all over them if they weren’t attracted to their money somehow.

    I’m in my early 30′s, and listened to the worst offenders growing up: Snoop Dog, DMX, Three 6 Mafia, etc. I can’t listen to any of my old CDs any more because hearing grown men down women like that just makes my blood boil. Now I’m very vocal to anyone who plays offensive music around me. It hurts my heart to realize – after two decades of rap like this – it’s become the norm. I refuse to support it, listen to it or dance to it, and I hope more do the same. I’d love to see a day where all the women clear off the dance floor when these types of songs play. I’m pretty sure it’ll be the start of the end then. :)

  • Angie

    Never heard of this dude, Wale. How does one pronounce his name? Is it Wale as in “wail at the funeral” or Wale as in Wall-E, that Disney Cartoon that came out a few years back? Or is it something totally different?

  • Al Royal

    As good as hip hop has been to the people, unfortunately it still mimics the rest of the world in that women do not get the proper respect. Props to Amanda for calling out the BS on this one. I don’t know if something like use of the b-word or referencing hoe-behavior is a strong enough example of true misogyny, but this conflict she shared about Wale certainly is. And I know there are countless others occuring all the time. Men let’s do better!

  • Yes_gurl

    The thing about speaking your mind is everyone won’t like what you have to say. I like Wale music but he is very sensitive. Even my friends in DC said he’s a chump lol. He tends to lash out at women and tries to knock them down yet when males critic him he handles them in a calmer matter or atleast he doesn’t try to completely knock them down. He was defentetly wrong for how he approached Amanda, he’s goin to do that to wrong chick in the wrong neighborhood an get his tail beat.

    As far as women, respect and hip hop as long as there are groupies willing to do whatever to be around these rappers and girls willing to let the team hit to be in their video or VIP in the club you will always her that level of disrespect in hip hop.

  • Dalili

    LMBO @Angie…..I spit my coffee all over the screen!

  • do_gooder

    I have read and re-read this article because 1) I love hip-hop 2) I respect Amanda’s hustle and 3) I like Wale’s music. In some ways, I think that Wale treated Amanda the same way he would treat a man. His character and past behavior suggests that this is what he does to people– no matter what sexual organ you claim. He seems to be sensitive about his art and his brand. Also, I would say he isn’t the most mature or humble guy.

    Amanda did talk greasy about a guy who has a history of acting like a baby. So, on a micro level, I am not surprised that this was what transpired.

    On a macro level, many women do want patriarchy when it works in their favor. Folks like that they can hit a man and cry and whine if they get hit back. Perhaps, if this series of events happened between two men this wouldn’t be an article on Clutch.

    Maybe as TyneandWear said it’s just misanthropy more than misogyny and women should stop anticipating that owning a vagina means we are due for better treatment. Beyond the word bitch, rappers talk about shooting folks, selling crack, various other inhumane non nice behavior.

    All of that foolishness is intertwined.

    Finally–No one man or woman deserves to be threatened.

  • Yb

    LMAO @ Wall-E. #dying

  • B. Payne

    And your last paragraph is the reason why I continue to wave my flag for Nicki Minaj.

  • Srenda

    He was way in the wrong. No doubt. But I gotta play Devil’s advocate. Maybe he was deeply offended because she’s lighter skinned than him and her tweeting that hit home. How many dark-skinned brother and sisters feel ugly because they heard that all the time growing up and let’s not get into the images in media and who lots of these rappers like shaking their booties in their videos. I was also taken aback in this context that she used the n-word when referencing him. Now I know that in Hip-Hop culture this is what lots of us say but if we are going to give a critique of the misogyny and give an example let’s critique all of Hip-Hop’s questionable stances. I know, I know that would be a much longer article. Don’t underestimate the power of that internalized racism. Why tweet something like that in the first place? Because you can? Back in the day you might just say something like that to your friends who you happen to be around or call later and talk sh** to. That said, Amanda has the right to say what she wants and to have her opinions and express them.. Wale shoulda just brushed the dirt off his shoulders and not threatened her at all. This is how we STAY divided. SMH at the way celebs use Twitter, these days. WTH?

  • https://twitter.com/#!/clnmike Tonton Michel

    If your going to talk smack be prepared to back it up and the people you are talking about in this world today are not obligated to play by the rules…………

  • iQgraphics

    amanda
    you really should have stood your ground with him. these celeb type people don’t have accountability and don’t take criticism very well.
    If you can’t take criticism, keep your craft to yourself.

  • iQgraphics

    amanda…
    oh, and feel better mama! i’m certain the situation was shocking.

  • TyneandWear

    @LN

    Is that the same Nicki Minaj that told those “nappy head hoes” to get a perminator and how her kitchen is good presumably because it isnt nappy like yours or mine?I guess it sounds better coming from a woman. A woman who described herself as the female Lil Wayne. Ok!

  • Mr Jay

    He doesn’t matter Amanda. He’s mad because he thought he was going to blow up but he fizzled out.

  • Paige

    Ummm, am I the only one upset by the HUGE GENERALIZATIONS being made about hip-hop in these comments? CORRECTION! Most of what you hear on the radio and on MTV (in the few minutes of the week that they actually play music) is misogynistic, violent, and materialistic. If you ever bothered to look beyond what’s on the radio, you’d find plenty of hip-hop out there with a lot more substance. I’m really annoyed by the fact that all rappers are being sorted into one box here.

  • Sahra

    LMAOOO. HI-lar-ious!!
    It’s pronounced Wa-ley, kinda like Sade, the e at the end is pronounced like ey.

  • FaSho

    This whole incident is a fool. Since he is a sensitive creature he had the right to get mad but how he responded was all wrong threatning her was no good. But she shouldn’t cry I am female when she made the comment. When you put comments out there regardless if female or male be ready to deal with however someone wants to respond. She could have said Lil Kim was lame and could have gotten stabbed up. People forget just because somone holds an occupation as a rapper that they have to respond differently. The argument should be more about how males treat females. Because before they are rappers they are weak a$$ men. I am quite sure he responded this way prior to his rap career.

  • honey

    sorry wale… I live in DC.. and I can speak for DC in saying we can care less about u…. uh by they way you’re from the burbs boo stop claiming the dirty district.

    I’e seen this cat out about town and no one bats an eye…. bless his heart though.

  • iQgraphics

    what is misogyny when it’s delivered by a woman?

  • cocochanel31

    @ denicegirl – oo okay I had no clue what she meant by the comment..so she is hosting an event where the artist performs..calls him ugly basically while he is still at the venue…. and expects no reaction..????
    This is the same as the Nikki Minaj scenario…don’t ish where you eat! Did he go overboard by caring who she – someone who doesn’t sign his checks thinks…yes, but if she was woman enough to call him ugly over twitter..call him ugly when he approaches you..these people who have a cup of courage only via twitter amaze me…smh.

  • lindy

    A lot of Black women are silly and confused

    LIKE RAP AND HIPHOP?Is there a debate?
    Most of the *music* is bought by whites?really?
    This so called music wont end because of women like these.
    How are you confused about hate?

  • cocochanel31

    If your going to talk smack be prepared to back it up and the people you are talking about in this world today are not obligated to play by the rules…………

    exactly!! why talk ish over twitter then when he approaches you ; you back down! Makes no sense to me! If you were going to be scared of backlash at least wait till you leave the venu…#commonsense

  • cocochanel31

    If your going to talk smack be prepared to back it up and the people you are talking about in this world today are not obligated to play by the rules…………

    exactly! Why talk ish over twitter then be scared of the backlash??? If you are going to be scared to be approached for a twitter comment at least wait till you leave the venue#commonsense!!

  • isolde

    What you’re saying is really inconsistent. On the one hand you acknowledge that gender probably played a role in how Wale treated Seales and how Funk Flex addressed Nicki. Then, on the other hand, you blame these women for pointing said fact out and suggest that pointing out their structural oppression is a sign of weakness. How exactly can these women hide behind their gender, when in fact, you yourself acknowledge that they experience sexism precisely because of their gender?

  • iQgraphics

    I think her surprise to his female audience is due to the content of his lyrics… (if I’m understanding) not his looks. but perhaps that’s what HE thought.

    And yes, I agree with you – don’t get big on twitter, get checked and bow down. Stand your ground. hold it down, you’ll be surprised at how folks expose themselves

  • JT

    You referred to him using a veiled racial epithet and wondered how women could love him. You then get upset and don’t understand why he might challenge you on it. You don’t understand how some might have the same disregard for you that you have for them? Cognitive dissonance, you say? I’m amazed at how some women can find fault in any man but don’t recognize their own bad behavior. You made a snide remark and he checked you. This is a non story. Try thinking before you tweet next time.

  • d_nicegirl

    I get what you’re saying, but from what I read, she did admit to her statement when he confronted her. He came back and then tried to menace her to the point that others had to become involved. That’s the problem. Have a twitter war if that’s what he felt his hurt ego needed. All that extra was just so…extra.

  • The Best Anon Ever, Pt. 2

    Good read. Good luck to you and all the other women of hip-hop. I seriously doubt, but hope for your sake, you achieve your goals.

  • lindy

    Dumb, just dumb

    A lot of Black women are silly and confused

    Love hiphop/rap?WTF

  • Angie

    Thank you Sahra. I really didn’t know how to pronounce this dudes name….

  • iQgraphics

    @d-nice
    he may have been high… O_o

  • cocochanel31

    I tried to brush him off telling him to “Leave it alone and lemme enjoy the show!” Still he was bothered, yelling over the music, “You tryna dis me?!”

    Frustrated with the topic and his accusatory tone I yelled back sarcastically, “Yes Ok Yes I was trying to dis you. You happy now? Leave me alone!”

    Initially she said leave me alone..then later got sarcastic..she brought this on herself..I dont feel bad at all.Did he overreact like a fool yes – but this has nothing to do with misogny. This was all about a woman “man” enough to diss the artist on the show she is hosting. She should’ve been “man” enough to take his reaction..thats all im saying. Dont insult people and expect them NOT to get mad..it just doesnt work that way for most people unfortunatly

  • cocochanel31

    JT

    You referred to him using a veiled racial epithet and wondered how women could love him. You then get upset and don’t understand why he might challenge you on it. You don’t understand how some might have the same disregard for you that you have for them? Cognitive dissonance, you say? I’m amazed at how some women can find fault in any man but don’t recognize their own bad behavior. You made a snide remark and he checked you. This is a non story. Try thinking before you tweet next time.

    Pretty much! She brought this on herself!! Didnt mama say if u having nothing nice to say dont say it at all ..smh

  • iQgraphics

    she had a great opportunity to tell him something, anything of substance, but instead went for the very “be cool” opposite stance she wrote about in the piece.

    “yeah, I said that sh!t and here’s why…” vs, “Yes Ok Yes I was trying to dis you. You happy now? Leave me alone!”

    I hope she feels better tho. it’s a lesson.

  • d_nicegirl

    When did it become ok to physically intimidate someone just because you don’t like what the person has to say?

  • cocochanel31

    When did it become ok to physically intimidate someone just because you don’t like what the person has to say?

    three sides to every story
    from what I read he talked greasy but never touched her
    and he way overreacted – I get that
    but don’t talk ish and not expect the consequences…this was taught to me at a young age by my dad – esp when it comes to men
    u act tough like a man to a man – don’t be surprised when he does some man ish back to you
    not making it right , but folks gotta think before they do stuff was my dads point

  • B

    I am acknowledging that Nicki & Amanda’s gender played a role in how Flex and Wale addressed them. And both women have the right and are entirely justified to point that out.

    However, simply saying “hey, I’m a woman!” doesn’t negate or dismiss the ‘actual’ situation at hand:: “Saying but “I’m a woman” doesn’t remove or erase the situation at all… that should be ***the last point made, if it’s even made at all***. That claim is so easily dismissible with a “and?!” or “bitch!” or any other derogatory response that could shut down the debate before it even started.”

    Flex and Wale handled their respective situations with Nicki and Amanda in such a poor manner because both of these ladies were women, but that’s a secondary to WHY they were even having their conversations the first place. Dedicating too much time to a secondary issue is distracting:: “The point of the discussion should revolve around the actual bullsh*t said or done. If [Wale] was to refer back a derogatory word or phrase to get his ‘dick-grabbing’ point across, then take the minor L and reply “yup. and?” **Neutralize his charge**, put the ball back in your court and serve his a**!”

    You have to think about how a male, especially a heated one, would react to a woman playing the gender card. Do you really think Wale or Flex would give a f*ck? Do you think putting that in play would help any female get her main point across or a male withdraw or apologize for his comments or tone?

    What I’m saying is, to think above the game/box. If you want to dominate in a male arena – ie, hip-hop – stop playing your gender card *first*. You’ve got a deck full of other options!

  • d_nicegirl

    ” I am always amazed at the love women have for him” Followed by a compliment. In what way does that equal an altercation that resulted in security and sig other’s having to jump in?

  • OSHH

    yeah but what she said doesn’t exactly qualify as talking tough or acting like a man, she didn’t buck on dude or any of that?

    IMO he acts like a wack tender lil bama, funny I have never seen or heard of him steppin to other dudes like that……

  • Rastaman

    What male dominated industry is not prone to misogyny?
    I ask that question publicly because on my own I could not come up with an answer to the contrary. I am as old as hip hop, I am intimate to the workings of reggae and dancehall and I am a fan of the blues. Misogyny is interwoven in their entire DNA. Much of these music forms are born of despair and anger and it is depicted in the songs and the male artist who are the purveyors. Someone noted that the majority of the consumers are not black and I don’t think that even matter, white males are just as or even more threatened by lessening male privilege and the increasing female equality. I am sure many are apt to mouth the most anti woman lyrics of any rap and tell themselves they are just singing along to the words and they do not mean it. But very often why we latch onto words is because on a subconscious level they appeal to us even if on the surface they repulse us.
    There are many women who are drawn to hip hop because of that kind of malevolent energy it generates, the violence, the sexism, the anti-social representation. Why does this author think she is somehow inoculated against some of the same behavior she tries to expose in this article?
    This type of macho posturing and drama did not start with Wale and it will not end with him either. Social media just magnifies much of this kind of childish name calling and interplay that the author herself instigated. Hip hop has just a party and having a good time has been long gone. Everyone in it is pretty much about getting paid, hoping to be the next Russell, Puff, Jigga or all the other incarnations of what passes as “paid” these days.
    To start advocating less misogyny in the hip hop culture is best achieved by pushing for less bigotry in our overall society because it is the genesis of these things. Art does imitate life and to behave differently is to be delusional.

  • LemonNLime

    Best comment of the day!

  • cocochanel31

    ” I am always amazed at the love women have for him” Followed by a compliment. In what way does that equal an altercation that resulted in security and sig other’s having to jump in?

    true – def agree her tweet did not warrant any reaction whatsoever
    but still dont understand how he was misgoynistic by getting mad..was it calling her a bum b???
    He just seemd to be emotional and overreacted..the comment really wasnt that serious
    she said something slightly insulting – no matter how petty or slick towards an artist who was performing on a stage she was hosting
    it would be silly of her to think he may not see the tweet and react- esp if he has a reputation of being emotional

  • http://osayande.org Blaze

    Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for your courage. There is a book that details other such stories and offers an analysis that to this day remains rare. For those interested in addressing this issue. Misogyny & the Emcee: Sex, Race and Hip Hop by Ewuare X. Osayande — http://osayande.org/store/ . Also on Amazon.

  • http://www.adivastateofmind.com A Diva State of Mind

    Wale is always trying to fight someone and it’s usually over twitter! Instead of worrying about what others have to say, he needs to stayed focused on the music.

  • Nikita

    Most of society thinks in a patriarchal way. This immature way that men act – the peter pan thinking behavior and attitudes come out towards women a lot now. People are going to talk about you, even if your name is Wale ie. you are famous. Who has the time to fight all of the people that they believe “hate” on them. She is not a fan of his music/style – HE should have gotten over it. Again, no one is obligated to like another person. She was not disrespectful, she made an observation and voiced her opinion. He violently stepped to a woman. To me that screams SOMETHING. Women are not men, and in this world that keeps claiming that patriarchy is the way to go – from the endless books we read, to the advice we keep getting, then it seems that this MAN should have known better than to step to her like that. Whether patriarchy is involved or not, a man stepping to anyone to fight them because they voice their opinion in a way that is not disrespectul or ugly is no kind of man at all. Self control and discipline used to be a measure of a man, now it is trying to clock a woman and getting others involved. Really? Whether it was misogynistic, I think there is something there. When a woman cannot speak her opinion or her truth in a non-threatening manner and a man confronts her as to fight THEN WHAT IS THAT? If he hit her, if he did that we would call it abusive and upon hearing why we would think he had some hate/anger in his actions ala Chris Brown and Rhianna. I know black men get a bad rap, I know black boys get a bad rap but at some point we have to know when men act badly and to stop giving them passes. This was foul on his part.

  • LN

    @TyneandWear

    I don’t cosign Nicki’s misogyny at all. Remember, I’m not a fan of hip hop so I don’t really listen to her music.

    But it has shocked me to see how hostile male “emcees” have been to Nicki Minaj’s success. The whole incident at Summer Jam was just the tip of the iceberg. Nicki has had male DJs, rappers and music writers coming at her for some time now, and I really think that a fundamental issue is that she’s a WOMAN. It is hard for them to swallow that her freshman album outsold Big Sean’s, Wale’s, J. Cole’s and Wiz Khalifa’s. Of the current crop of up and coming rappers, the only one that has outsold her is Drake.

    It is hard for these male DJs, rapper and music writers to see her getting endorsement deals (that they could only DREAM of) because her music has more reach.

    Women have always had a hard time in hip hop. But I feel like male rappers were more or less okay with it because they regularly OUTSOLD female rappers. Now the tide is turning and all hell is breaking lose.

    Misogynists live with the assumption that women are beneath them. So you throw into the mix a woman who is outperforming them and all hell breaks loose.

    But, Nicki or no Nicki, at the end of the day I stand behind what I say. I’m glad to see hip hop on the decline. People have been begging these ignorant a** rappers for YEARS to clean up their music or at least have some BALANCE when it comes to referencing women. They’re refused, so I have no empathy for them.

  • d_nicegirl

    What OSHH said^^^

  • Questknowledge

    Wale was wrong. Point. Blank. Period. Amanda has every right to state her opinion without having to feel like if she says the wrong thing there is a possibility that she’ll be threatened and disrespectfully approached. He states his opinion in his music and she states hers on a public forum currently known as twitter.

    Wale is a COWARD. I’d bet all his rented cars and bought women that he would NEVER step to a man like that. From what I see money gives a good majority of black men a false sense of pride and a feeling of acceptance. Like how Europe, Asia and America were built off the exploitation of Africa, Hip Hop was built off the exploitation and degradation of black women. And the reason I specifically state black women is because 95% of hip hop videos showcase black women basically as hoes and Jezebels and other race women as the ideal woman.

    And I don’t care how sensitive Wale is, he is an entertainer and that alone should make him realize that everyone takes the role of a critic. Would he approach the editor of Source magazine if they give an adverse reception to his music, NO. He needs to get with with the reality that people will always have something to say or take a freaking XANAX.

  • lynn

    ^^I grew up in the ’80s. Early hip hop was not about violence and misogyny, in the mid-early ’80s it was all about “wave your hands up in the air, and party hearty like you just don’t care.” It was good time party music.

    Then in the late 80s came the “conscious” stuff like Public Enemy and Tribe Called Quest. It really wasn’t until the early ’90s that the whole gangsta thing just took over and NWA and rap took a huge turn for the gutter. That’s when I stopped listening. So no, I won’t take responsibility for what hip hop has become. Not all black people are supporting this music.

  • Londoner

    Stockholm syndrome…

  • Isis

    It’s definitely a form of stockholm syndrome. Another thing I will never understand for the life of me is the bra burning feminists that live and die hip hop. Like seriously?? How much more contradictory can you get? Hip hop is so anti-woman its not even funny. lmaooo A big reason why I can’t take many black feminists seriously.

  • Crys

    ^^^^^^ALL OF THIS, ALL F*****G DAY^^^^^^

  • Bee

    ROFLMAO. Best/funniest comment on this post!

  • Tiffany

    I’m sorry that happened to you but i don’t see this as being a hip hop issue AT ALL. This is a personal incident that you had with another human being end of story. Had he not been a rapper you would’ve more than likely been just as upset

  • grateful

    agree with coco…

  • Londoner

    Hi Isis, I’m not aware of any black feminists that are publicly ‘ride or die’ hip hop people. Sounds like a complete oxymoron. Would be good to get an idea as to who you are referring to – sounds like utter madness to me… I think (sadly) some black women are so male-identified they operate in ways that are detrimental to their own (mental) health and well-being. We see this is both the writers text and some of the responses here. Makes me sad – who will love us if we don’t love ourselves? ;-(

  • TheObserver

    I’ve always liked the idea of hip hop — the heavy bass lines, the percussive tone, the intoxicating rhythm — but the execution, save for underground rappers, generally leaves me feeling down since it’s one thing to talk about pain, it’s another to endlessly add more to the world. Too many rappers are simply thuggish or cruel or boring, and this incident illustrates it. Then again, beautiful women have always flocked to cruel men, so are we surprised that the misogyny never ends? Until women stop rewarding men for being jerks, this will continue. When I see beautiful women refuse to act in a hip hop video starring yet another jerk whose rhymes are junior high in content, I don’t see things changing.

  • grateful

    @ LN

    this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    agree with everything you said!

    FREAKIN’ EVERYTHING!

  • grateful

    you make an interesting point, and i have to agree, i think skin color and context played a part.

  • grateful

    yes.

  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

    hold the fug up, he ain’t a real thug?

  • Humanista

    “I’ve always liked the idea of hip hop — the heavy bass lines, the percussive tone, the intoxicating rhythm — but the execution, save for underground rappers, generally leaves me feeling down”

    This, 1000 times!

  • tisme

    Women are smart to BACK DOWN to males in a physical situation.Women with your thinking get hurt and a negro named Whale ain’t even worth it.

  • fromTHEarea

    Thats not the first time he has gotten in his feelings about a tweet.. He is very sensitive and you took him back to the days when the light skin girls dissed him when he was young.. His words in a song or something to that extent… So thank you Amanda for giving us high yellows yet another bad name in Wale’s book …lol .. I bet he cried in the car too…lol

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  • Tara

    “All I can say is that I’m glad that hip hop is in decline. It might seem a heartless thing to say, but it makes me HAPPY that these rappers are struggling to go platinum and even gold. It makes me HAPPY that pop music is overtaking hip hop. It makes me HAPPY that one of the biggest selling rap artists right now is a WOMAN. It’s about time that this kingdom built on violence, celebrated ignorance and misogyny come crumbling down.”

    Co-sign a THOUSAND times!!! I thought I was the only one who felt this way, and felt guilty about it too. But why? Why should I feel guilty about wanting to see a group of men who are so disrespectful towards my gender and race fail?

  • EezusJeezus

    So you disrespect Wale, he gets mad enough to approach you about it, and then you write a piece about misogyny in hip-hop and wrap it around how Wale approached you? Word?

    I’m not condoning Wale’s actions but I’m not condoning your actions either. You tried to disrespect Wale on Twitter to get a few laughs from your followers and got approached about it. And somehow Wale’s wrong for defending himself against slander? Yeah okay.

    Misogyny has nothing to do with it. Hip-Hop has nothing to do with it. This is between 2 people.

    Cut it out.

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  • simplyme

    Black people are no longer the primary consumers of hip hop. In fact, in a seemingly twisted and tragic fate, we have lost all consumer linked control of the genre that once served as a voice for the African American community…yet its also the most visible “supposed” representation of African Americans around the world. It’s pretty scary if you think about it.

  • Noizee Cricket

    Lemme see if I got this right:

    Amanda cracked on Wale.
    Wale got mad, got in her face and tried to intimidate her.
    It took TWO PEOPLE to pull him off.
    AMANDA brought it on herself.

    If this is where your thinking is, you need to lay off that non-prescription formula you’ve been smoking. Hell, if he’s supposed to be a rapper, then he needs to work his glib lip into something clever and spit it back. The hysterics over it was out of order, plain and simple.

    @Amanda: Funny thing is, I was just listening to some old stuff the other day, and Slick Rick (“Treat her like a Prostitute”) came on; this is the first time I REALLY listened to the lyrics, and was like, “Well, damn!” Later, Geto Boys (“Let a Ho be a Ho”) and Just-Ice (“Latoya”) played as well, and I thought, “What the hell was I listening to back then???” Back then, we thought that kinda stuff was funny, but as an adult, it’s pretty damn embarrassing. ESPECIALLY since it didn’t die out like it should have.

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  • The Comment

    Your perspective is so wrong. Monkeys have better respect for women than black men. Perfect example of little hurt black man who rather take his rage for racism and lack of acheivement in life out on the only human life acceptable to beat w/o being thrown in jail: black womean. Rapper MF DOOM said it best: “Only in America can u earn a healthy buck and still be on self destruct.”

    Perfect example of how black men can not control their rage. Perfect example of black men who hate black women. Perfect example of a punk who would hide behind a body guard.

    Now ask yourself. What would Common do?

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  • grateful

    @tisme

    you misunderstood coco. she’s basically saying if you’re going to say something offensive to someone while they are there be ready for a confrontation because some people (men ) don’t care that you’re a woman and might just beat you up vs you saying it away from the person which worst case scenario might result in twitter beef , he can’t touch you. even if you happen to meet later the person has cooled off by then and most likely won’t retaliate.

    so before we think of backing down , how about we think before expressing oourselves negatively.

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  • Said in Los Angeles

    A great article! On point. I just want to know why the author had no problem writing the word ‘nigga’, while at the same time shedding light on the continued disrespect of women in hip-hop.

  • Said in Los Angeles

    Great article. On point. I just want to know why the author had no problem writing the word ‘nigga’, while at the same time shedding light on the continued disrespect of women in hip-hop.

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  • cocochanel31

    Let’s keep it real . Amanda was the HOST of a show and showed her unprofessionalism by cracking on one of the acts . Can u see Oprah or Robin Roberts hosting an event and then greeting slick ish about one of their guests during the show ? Umm no ! It’s rude and tacky . she purposefully was being a smart ass then gets offended bc he approached her wtf. The same way she had a right to tweet her opinion of him he had a right to address her ..Twitter is public ….text ur friends privately if u dont want to. Be called out on ur ish . Three sides to every story so we really dont know how he approached her …but we do know he didn’t touch. Her .the end ….

  • yana

    This is so ignorant and ridiculous to say. Go look up the definition of slander. She wrote a lighthearted tweet teasing him about moonwalking onto the stage. He approached her threateningly, and clearly tried to intimidate her physically.

    In what world is that acceptable? I’m so sick of you people and your victim blaming nonsense. And by “you people”, I mean misogynists.

  • pb

    As someone wrote on another forum, black rappers are like court jesters for white people. As soon as whites stop being entertained by their trite nonsense it’s off with their heads.

  • pb

    Wow. I knew wale was a b…. but this really sealed it. Most males in hip hop are weak emotional little babies who hate their blackness and hate women. The only thing they like about black women is your money. stop giving these little weeeaanies support bc they dont appreciate it

  • Ms. Information

    Wale is an itch bay (trying to be good Clutch) .. any man that has to approach a woman about a tweet is two fries short anyway …. youre a millionaire right? You have all of this fans that adore you right? Why then approach a “charity case”….she shouldn’t matter right? All of these rappers are just dumb little black boys who never got affirmed by their absent fathers.

  • Ms. Information

    *these

  • Court

    But Amanda, you got yelled at over something you said. Don’t try to make this into about men’s disrespect for women in hip hop, when you played disrespect first. Talkin’ shit over Twitter is super touchy with ALL artists male & female because the criticism from their peers is played out in front of their fans, and no one wants to look like a sucker in front of their fans! You sent out that passive-aggressive ass tweet, throwing shade his way, calling him an ugly nigga and did not think for a second that he was going to take some issue with it?! Stop playing.

    P.S. – It would’ve been so bad-ass if you said “u mad?!!” when he first came to you. =)

  • Genie

    Women have been repeatedly treated poorly in Hip-Hop . . . and yes this has a trickle down effect!

    I admire you for takiing a stand!

    Maybe the question is why the men of Hip-Hop feel the need to “keep us in our place” or in your case “put you in your place” in the first place!

    A man who knows himself and more importantly believes in himself would not have the need to “put down” anyone . . . let alone women who resemble all of the important women in his life. I guess that is what really “gets me”, these same men would not let anyone (male or female) treat their close female family relations in a poor manner . . . but all other females are fair game!

  • Sport

    Why did she even have to tweet that to begin with? Calling him an ugly “ni99a” DURING the show SHES hosting, then getting on a soap box and crying misogyny when he confronts her about it? Show some respect and maybe you’ll get some

  • http://twitter.com i_spat

    I agree that hip hop is misogynistic and a man should not step aggressively to a woman because if things go too far, he will be the one to feel the brunt of the outcome. But this scenario that I just read has NOTHING to do with hip-hop. Or a rapper being misogynistic. This has to do with a woman talking ish and then playing “scary” when she gets stepped to and trying to get others to be on her bandwagon by penning an essay. Please save yourself some embarrassment and call it “inside dish” or “guess what I did the other day” don’t try to make your petty incident relevant to hip hop culture when it’s not. We already have enough real issues and this aint one.

  • http://twitter.com i_spat

    I agree that hip hop is misogynistic and a man should not step aggressively to a woman because if things go too far, he will be the one to feel the brunt of the outcome. But this scenario that I just read has NOTHING to do with hip-hop. Or a rapper being misogynistic. This has to do with a woman talking ish and then playing “scary” when she gets stepped to and trying to get others to be on her bandwagon by penning an essay. Please save yourself some embarrassment and call it “inside dish” or “guess what I did the other day” don’t try to make your petty incident relevant to hip hop culture when it’s not. We already have enough real issues and this aint one.

  • T. Hall

    Just read this and the only thing that comes to mind is bill o’reilly and his antagonistic methods… this is comparable. Why tweet something of the nature in the first place if you weren’t responsible enough to handle the response. #EnoughSaid

  • Court

    Yessss! Thank you! This is such a stretch and she looks so silly.

  • DD

    F Hiphop

    F black dudes and the dumb black women who support them. Dr dre, icecube and the rest of them should have been assasinated

    F

  • The Comment

    Anger Mgmt 4u

  • http://twitter.com/christinasade ChristinaSade

    uhh? is your dad creflo dollar?

  • http://www.beautyinbaltimore.blogspot.com BeautyinBaltimore

    As women, I swear sometimes we do it to ourselves.

    You won’t see no guys dancing to short *ick song by twenty fingers from the 90′s (ole heads unite) exactly!

  • http://www.beautyinbaltimore.blogspot.com BeautyinBaltimore

    1. Maybe Wale was pissed cause you called him the N-word.

    2. I am kind of shocked that he steped into your face like he was going to pop you one. That was out of line. Violence is getting out of line in this country.

    3. You say you love the culture, do you mind explaining this culture that many of us don’t understand.

  • http://www.beautyinbaltimore.blogspot.com BeautyinBaltimore

    Amanda Diva you need to be careful at hip hop events and these angry DBR rappers. Don’t forget what happened with Step Lover and Funk Master Flex. Someone else here mentioned Funk Master Flex went in on Nikki. Some of these brothers are monsters who won’t hesitate to put there hands on you.

    F hip hop culture, your first responsibility is to yourself. Keep yourself safe. Just avoid situations like the one you had with Wale.

  • wepon1

    LOL! This is just another black women pity party moment! This chick here basically called this man ugly in front of the world, and now she is trying to gain some sympathy by relating her insult on a black man and his respond to hip hop music!

  • 2naturho

    This article couldve been good minus the altercation with Wale. The altercation has sh*t to do with Hip Hop. It has everything to do with Amanda running her mouth on Twitter + Wale bein sensitive as hell. He was definitely in the wrong for getting in her face, no man should be that pissed over a meager comment, but Amanda don’t need to play victim either…

  • Ms. Information

    Amanda has a RIGHT to tweet that this negro is ugly..lol..we are not in fifth grade people..

  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

    iCan’t with you and this sort of advice…lawwwwwd hammercy!

  • Ms. Information

    I mean – I don’t personally think he is unattractive – but did Oprah confront every comedian that called her fat? Some fights are not worth it…and by addressing Amanda’s statement he comes off very child like…happy sunday sista AM :)

  • HL

    Nice job at (wrongly) couching personal beef with one (wack) dude with general hip-hop misogyny. I’d have preferred to hear about each of these items separately; this just reads awkwardly because the attempt at linking them is off-base.

  • Brie

    I get what she is saying but I don’t think the issue in this case is about misogyny in hip hop. However, I feel that people should be able to state their opinion without having to be worried about someone threatening them, especially seeing how he approached her like she was a man. He could have handled that better, and besides, what she said really wasn’t that bad. She gave him props but she stated how she felt about him as well, and from what I see about his behavior I don’t see why women like him either. He acted a little too sensitive and if her opinion really didn’t mean much to him why act like that? He had a right to feel offended but his reaction was unacceptable.

  • HollynDebra

    The need for these so called men to repeatedly degrade women in their rap schtick is to get PAID! That is all theior is to it. Its like the 70′s when they (black actors/actresses) appeared in blaxploitation movies in order to be financed. They had to project that image to get paid. it is the same in the music industry. Music executives are looking to make money bjut of course they have no concern of the consequences of their actions. Rappers and upcoming will tell you also that in order for them to get that financial advance and promotion, they must appear like a thug act like a thug talk like a thug and degrade women like a thug. The recording company is the “pimp” and the artist is the “prostitute”.Do not hate the player, hate the game.

  • Pseudonym

    The only thing that comes to mind is GwenythPaltrowN**InParisGate from last week.

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  • Nikia

    I live in DC, too, and a lot of people love Wale. I’m not crazy about him and I know plenty of people who aren’t, but he also gets TONS OF LOVE here too.

  • David Barnes

    Sista, while reading your eloquent and entertaining essay, what stuck out most is that, in your obvious intelligence; you missed the opportunity to educate. You said in your narrative that ” Furiously he demanded an explanation for the tweet, yelling, “So if I tweeted that I’m amazed at how men like you wouldn’t be upset?”

    I tried to brush him off telling him to “Leave it alone and lemme enjoy the show!” Still he was bothered, yelling over the music, “You tryna dis me?!”

    Frustrated with the topic and his accusatory tone I yelled back sarcastically, “Yes Ok Yes I was trying to dis you. You happy now? Leave me alone!” With that, I have to say that, although; this was one of those “heat of the moment” things but, as the more learned of the two parties, I would think that you would have taken the opportunity to diffuse the situation by EDUCATING the brotha on what it was you actually meant. I understand that in the culture of hip hop, not much credit is given to being a diplomat but, in this case; diplomacy would have been more effective than sarcasm. It is unfortunate that rap has made a habit of objectifying the very entity that makes it possible for it to exist….for without you there is no us, but, at some point; someone has to take the high road or we all will wind up under the bus. I am deeply saddened to hear that another one of our artists has chosen to be less than artistic in his approach to social issues but, alas; we have to find a way to rise above it. Stay up sis.

  • http://fugitiveslavewomen.com/ Elle

    You love hip hop but it hates you. It’s killing your or it’s threatening to kill you but still you love it. You think that’s a good thing. It seems pretty obvious that some of the young women who actively participate in this kind of culture and regularly listen to abusive music may indeed want to die. And judging by this article, a lot of them may get their wish.

  • Toni

    Very powerful @Elle

  • Malcolm

    Please don’t throw the rest of us under the bus for that dude. I will agree that there is a lot of out-of-place bitch calling in hip hop and the world. And, sometimes if you listen to the context, most of it comes from youth. When your a young dude not from a well-to-do background, star athlete or hood famous dope boy, you don’t really have a lot of options as far as dating. You don’t have a ride, if you do, it ain’t nothing fancy. Talking to females out the passager side of your best friends ride is better than attempting to do it from the bus stop. Your staying with Moms, grandparents, cousins, etc. You are not established in any real way that would attract a worthy female at the same stage. The majority of your action will come from hood rats, most taking on all comers. Getting too involved with them, leads to heart break or worst of all, child support (hood rats life blood). Thus, “Bitches ain’t shit”. But, as you grow, you learn (if you knew better, you’d do better). I just wanted to give a little bit of human element to the discussion. As for Mr. Wale, cue Ice-T, “Some of you niggas is bitches, too”.

  • 2Naturho

    Couldn’t agree more…I was agreeing then got down to the altercation and then starting scratching my head!! O.o

  • Sport

    Just like gweneth paltrow has the RIGHT to call you a nigga

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