Ladies and The Hip-Hop that Loves to Hate Us
A woman being disrespected in hip-hop is nothing new. As much as I love hip-hop I think we can all pretty much agree it hasn’t been the best about requiting that love to us ladies. We all sing along to songs like “Bitches Ain’t Shit” and “Ain’t No Fun” brushing aside the wildly misogynistic lyrics because well, it’s hip-hop and we’ve made it “okay”. We conjure up all kinds of explanations to cushion our cognitive dissonance; “It’s self expression!” “The beat is really what I’m dancing to!” and the all time classic, “Well, he ain’t talking bout ME!” Be real, we’ve all said all of these at some point or another to excuse ourselves from basically willingly taking part in the marring of our own femininity by the hands of a male MC. So the beat goes on, along with the beat down of our worth, as the disrespect gets packaged as entertainment. It’s just the way it is. I wish it stopped there, however unfortunately it doesn’t.
See the thing about art is it often imitates life, and vise versa. Creating somewhat of a conundrum of cause and effect. Now, I don’t know which came first, the chicken or the egg, or in this case the chickenhead or the MC, but somehow the disrespect that was being put on wax began being put in the mix. Many of the men on the mic who were disrespecting and objectifying women in their songs began doing that in actuality. Which then trickled down to their crews, to behind the scenes professionals, and to fans, until it became a known part of the culture.
I’m not saying it was embraced by all, but few challenged it. I’ve always said that hip-hop is a cockfest and women simply don’t have any party favors. Meaning, the culture, as much as women were a vital part of building it and are a vital part of living, sustaining, and nurturing it, is a man’s world therefore women, by nature of being, well, women will never get an equal shake. So when faced with that all to common less-than treatment many of us woman of the hip-hop guard are put in the predicament of put up or shut up. We want to be taken seriously as members of this rhythmic realm so even though the instinct may be, “Wait this doesn’t feel right. I shouldn’t let this rock” the common reaction chosen is to just “be cool.”
Nothing gets checked or challenged. Like I said before, hip-hop is a man’s world, and by crying foul you easily get ostracized, labeled a “bitch” or, dare I say, a “diva”, or even worse, weak. “Can’t handle the heat, stay out the studio.” We allow ourselves to become “one of the guys” in order to fit in and prosper in the man’s world of hip hop, letting countless infractions of disrespect go down. (Have you ever heard of someone claiming “sexual harassment” in hip-hop? Me either.) Thus the behavior continues and with the anonymity of the Internet it has only worsened.
Last weekend when I was hosting the 5th Annual Roots Picnic in Philly, during a performance by rapper, Wale I tweeted:
This ni99a Wale just moonwalked on stage.
I’m always amazed at the love women have for him
Lol He be rappin tho
Back on his bus he saw the tweet, inquired about where I was, and brazenly approached me while I sat on stage taking in De La Soul’s amazing set. Furiously he demanded an explanation for the tweet, yelling, “So if I tweeted that I’m amazed at how men like you wouldn’t be upset?”
I tried to brush him off telling him to “Leave it alone and lemme enjoy the show!” Still he was bothered, yelling over the music, “You tryna dis me?!”
Frustrated with the topic and his accusatory tone I yelled back sarcastically, “Yes Ok Yes I was trying to dis you. You happy now? Leave me alone!”
Wale is a disgusting, little creature. He becomes enraged about every little thing someone says about him. He uses Twitter to show his false bravado. He is nothing but another misogynistic Negro.
Rappers have so little value as whole beings. They can only diss people by telling them they are broke or are irrelevant, because the only thing that makes THEM relevant to music is how much money they are making.
“It’s self expression!” “The beat is really what I’m dancing to!” and the all time classic, “Well, he ain’t talking bout ME!”Be real, we’ve all said all of these at some point or another to excuse ourselves from basically willingly taking part in the marring of our own femininity by the hands of a male MC. ” – I have never said anything like that, ever! Nor have I ever sung along to “B*tches ain’t shit” and “Ain’t no fun”.
LOL @ Nor have I ever sung along to “B*tches ain’t shit” and “Ain’t no fun”.
Agreed!
“Meaning, the culture, as much as women were a vital part of building it and are a vital part of living, sustaining, and nurturing it, is a man’s world therefore women, by nature of being, well, women will never get an equal shake.”
Can you qauntify this statement please?
If women want an “equal shake” , they are just going to have to make an equal contribution to the culture. They havent. Your above statement notwithstanding.
A lot of rap music is just plain misanthropic. It has a hatred of all humanity, not just women. Their sheer unadulterated violence within a lot of rap music against men and boys far outweights anything ever said about women or anyone else. As I have written previously, consumers have all of the control. Vote with your wallets or make your own way.
The consumers are white. So you are right the consumers do have all the control, and as long as they do music of violence between black men, sexual objectification, assault and misogyny toward black women, and materialism will continue being played.
Black people are no longer the primary consumers of hip hop. In fact, in a seemingly twisted and tragic fate, we have lost all consumer linked control of the genre that once served as a voice for the African American community…yet its also the most visible “supposed” representation of African Americans around the world. It’s pretty scary if you think about it.
female mc’s back in the day didnt take this mess of men- remember latifah, roxanne shante, mc lyte- of course they could rap so they didnt have to
“Five minutes later, in a rage, he approached me head on, nose to nose, his hand in the well known “two fingered gun” formation pointing threateningly as he demanded, “YOU NEED TO WATCH WHAT YOU SAY.”
If you were a male, chances are this situation would have never happened. People only show face when they feel they have a better or equal chance against their opponent. Hence why I believe Funk Flex’s tone with Nicki Minaj during their hour long un-edited interview was both demeaning and inappropriate.
However, I don’t think waving the “but, I’m a woman!” flag, like Nicki also did, is an appropriate response to the bullsh*t either. Actually, I think playing the gender card is a weak move for females. Saying but “I’m a woman” doesn’t remove or erase the situation at all. It’s a passive plea for a ‘get out of jail for free’ card.That should be the last point made, if it’s even made at all. That claim is so easily dismissible with a “and?!” or “bitch!” or any other derogatory response that could shut down the debate before it even started. The point of the discussion should revolve around the actual bullsh*t said or done. If [Wale] was to refer back a derogatory word or phrase to get his ‘dick-grabbing’ point across, then take the minor L and reply “yup. and?” Neutralize his charge, put the ball back in your court and serve his a**!
Don’t hide behind your gender!
What you’re saying is really inconsistent. On the one hand you acknowledge that gender probably played a role in how Wale treated Seales and how Funk Flex addressed Nicki. Then, on the other hand, you blame these women for pointing said fact out and suggest that pointing out their structural oppression is a sign of weakness. How exactly can these women hide behind their gender, when in fact, you yourself acknowledge that they experience sexism precisely because of their gender?
I am acknowledging that Nicki & Amanda’s gender played a role in how Flex and Wale addressed them. And both women have the right and are entirely justified to point that out.
However, simply saying “hey, I’m a woman!” doesn’t negate or dismiss the ‘actual’ situation at hand:: “Saying but “I’m a woman” doesn’t remove or erase the situation at all… that should be ***the last point made, if it’s even made at all***. That claim is so easily dismissible with a “and?!” or “bitch!” or any other derogatory response that could shut down the debate before it even started.”
Flex and Wale handled their respective situations with Nicki and Amanda in such a poor manner because both of these ladies were women, but that’s a secondary to WHY they were even having their conversations the first place. Dedicating too much time to a secondary issue is distracting:: “The point of the discussion should revolve around the actual bullsh*t said or done. If [Wale] was to refer back a derogatory word or phrase to get his ‘dick-grabbing’ point across, then take the minor L and reply “yup. and?” **Neutralize his charge**, put the ball back in your court and serve his a**!”
You have to think about how a male, especially a heated one, would react to a woman playing the gender card. Do you really think Wale or Flex would give a f*ck? Do you think putting that in play would help any female get her main point across or a male withdraw or apologize for his comments or tone?
What I’m saying is, to think above the game/box. If you want to dominate in a male arena – ie, hip-hop – stop playing your gender card *first*. You’ve got a deck full of other options!
I want to have empathy for Amanda Diva, I really do. But a remember a few years back when Slim Thug was talking crazy about black women (saying that his chick is “black and white” and it was the white part of her that treated him like a “king”, and that black women needed to learn from it), she RAN to his defense. How do I know this? Because I had a brief Twitter battle with her over the incident, lol.
She had defended his statements saying that Slim Thug was a nice guy, and women should consider that when receiving his statements. I told her that I couldn’t believe that a woman would defend such racist, sexist nonsense.
So it’s funny how, when the table is turned, and the misogyny and aggression is turned towards her, she’s ready to cry foul.
ANYway…
It is a well known fact that 98% of men in hip hop (and probably a high percentage of men in music in general) are misogynistic, and as a result I no longer patronize hip hop. I might listen to a single on the radio, but I no longer purchase rap music from ITunes, because I’m putting my money where my mouth is. I’m not going to fuel an industry that encourages aggression and violence against women, and reduces them to sexual objects.
All I can say is that I’m glad that hip hop is in decline. It might seem a heartless thing to say, but it makes me HAPPY that these rappers are struggling to go platinum and even gold. It makes me HAPPY that pop music is overtaking hip hop. It makes me HAPPY that one of the biggest selling rap artists right now is a WOMAN. It’s about time that this kingdom built on violence, celebrated ignorance and misogyny come crumbling down!
And your last paragraph is the reason why I continue to wave my flag for Nicki Minaj.
@LN
Is that the same Nicki Minaj that told those “nappy head hoes” to get a perminator and how her kitchen is good presumably because it isnt nappy like yours or mine?I guess it sounds better coming from a woman. A woman who described herself as the female Lil Wayne. Ok!
what is misogyny when it’s delivered by a woman?
@TyneandWear
I don’t cosign Nicki’s misogyny at all. Remember, I’m not a fan of hip hop so I don’t really listen to her music.
But it has shocked me to see how hostile male “emcees” have been to Nicki Minaj’s success. The whole incident at Summer Jam was just the tip of the iceberg. Nicki has had male DJs, rappers and music writers coming at her for some time now, and I really think that a fundamental issue is that she’s a WOMAN. It is hard for them to swallow that her freshman album outsold Big Sean’s, Wale’s, J. Cole’s and Wiz Khalifa’s. Of the current crop of up and coming rappers, the only one that has outsold her is Drake.
It is hard for these male DJs, rapper and music writers to see her getting endorsement deals (that they could only DREAM of) because her music has more reach.
Women have always had a hard time in hip hop. But I feel like male rappers were more or less okay with it because they regularly OUTSOLD female rappers. Now the tide is turning and all hell is breaking lose.
Misogynists live with the assumption that women are beneath them. So you throw into the mix a woman who is outperforming them and all hell breaks loose.
But, Nicki or no Nicki, at the end of the day I stand behind what I say. I’m glad to see hip hop on the decline. People have been begging these ignorant a** rappers for YEARS to clean up their music or at least have some BALANCE when it comes to referencing women. They’re refused, so I have no empathy for them.
@ LN
this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
agree with everything you said!
FREAKIN’ EVERYTHING!
“All I can say is that I’m glad that hip hop is in decline. It might seem a heartless thing to say, but it makes me HAPPY that these rappers are struggling to go platinum and even gold. It makes me HAPPY that pop music is overtaking hip hop. It makes me HAPPY that one of the biggest selling rap artists right now is a WOMAN. It’s about time that this kingdom built on violence, celebrated ignorance and misogyny come crumbling down.”
Co-sign a THOUSAND times!!! I thought I was the only one who felt this way, and felt guilty about it too. But why? Why should I feel guilty about wanting to see a group of men who are so disrespectful towards my gender and race fail?
As someone wrote on another forum, black rappers are like court jesters for white people. As soon as whites stop being entertained by their trite nonsense it’s off with their heads.