Ladies and The Hip-Hop that Loves to Hate Us
A woman being disrespected in hip-hop is nothing new. As much as I love hip-hop I think we can all pretty much agree it hasn’t been the best about requiting that love to us ladies. We all sing along to songs like “Bitches Ain’t Shit” and “Ain’t No Fun” brushing aside the wildly misogynistic lyrics because well, it’s hip-hop and we’ve made it “okay”. We conjure up all kinds of explanations to cushion our cognitive dissonance; “It’s self expression!” “The beat is really what I’m dancing to!” and the all time classic, “Well, he ain’t talking bout ME!” Be real, we’ve all said all of these at some point or another to excuse ourselves from basically willingly taking part in the marring of our own femininity by the hands of a male MC. So the beat goes on, along with the beat down of our worth, as the disrespect gets packaged as entertainment. It’s just the way it is. I wish it stopped there, however unfortunately it doesn’t.
See the thing about art is it often imitates life, and vise versa. Creating somewhat of a conundrum of cause and effect. Now, I don’t know which came first, the chicken or the egg, or in this case the chickenhead or the MC, but somehow the disrespect that was being put on wax began being put in the mix. Many of the men on the mic who were disrespecting and objectifying women in their songs began doing that in actuality. Which then trickled down to their crews, to behind the scenes professionals, and to fans, until it became a known part of the culture.
I’m not saying it was embraced by all, but few challenged it. I’ve always said that hip-hop is a cockfest and women simply don’t have any party favors. Meaning, the culture, as much as women were a vital part of building it and are a vital part of living, sustaining, and nurturing it, is a man’s world therefore women, by nature of being, well, women will never get an equal shake. So when faced with that all to common less-than treatment many of us woman of the hip-hop guard are put in the predicament of put up or shut up. We want to be taken seriously as members of this rhythmic realm so even though the instinct may be, “Wait this doesn’t feel right. I shouldn’t let this rock” the common reaction chosen is to just “be cool.”
Nothing gets checked or challenged. Like I said before, hip-hop is a man’s world, and by crying foul you easily get ostracized, labeled a “bitch” or, dare I say, a “diva”, or even worse, weak. “Can’t handle the heat, stay out the studio.” We allow ourselves to become “one of the guys” in order to fit in and prosper in the man’s world of hip hop, letting countless infractions of disrespect go down. (Have you ever heard of someone claiming “sexual harassment” in hip-hop? Me either.) Thus the behavior continues and with the anonymity of the Internet it has only worsened.
Last weekend when I was hosting the 5th Annual Roots Picnic in Philly, during a performance by rapper, Wale I tweeted:
This ni99a Wale just moonwalked on stage.
I’m always amazed at the love women have for him
Lol He be rappin tho
Back on his bus he saw the tweet, inquired about where I was, and brazenly approached me while I sat on stage taking in De La Soul’s amazing set. Furiously he demanded an explanation for the tweet, yelling, “So if I tweeted that I’m amazed at how men like you wouldn’t be upset?”
I tried to brush him off telling him to “Leave it alone and lemme enjoy the show!” Still he was bothered, yelling over the music, “You tryna dis me?!”
Frustrated with the topic and his accusatory tone I yelled back sarcastically, “Yes Ok Yes I was trying to dis you. You happy now? Leave me alone!”
If you are women that listens to hip hop you are choosing to accept a culture that disrespects you, well…you get what you paid for. People always talk about these glory days of Hip Hop when it wasn’t about sex drugs and violence. I grew up in the 90’s – it’s always been about sex, drugs and violence.
Misogyny is a part of it. As a high school counselor in NYC I am constantly teaching against the hip hop mindset. I believe it to be detrimental to many young and beautiful black boys and girls.
^^I grew up in the ’80s. Early hip hop was not about violence and misogyny, in the mid-early ’80s it was all about “wave your hands up in the air, and party hearty like you just don’t care.” It was good time party music.
Then in the late 80s came the “conscious” stuff like Public Enemy and Tribe Called Quest. It really wasn’t until the early ’90s that the whole gangsta thing just took over and NWA and rap took a huge turn for the gutter. That’s when I stopped listening. So no, I won’t take responsibility for what hip hop has become. Not all black people are supporting this music.
I’m a little lost by the Wale comment as well
Why not just explain what you meant
it may have gone over better on his part ..just imo
still gives him no right to be downright disrespectful
But what was there to explain? It was pretty obvious what she meant. She thinks he is unattractive. That would not have gone over any better with an explanantion.
Wale is a contradictory mess. First of all if you were so “irrelevant” and so much of a “charity case” why does he care about what you typed on twitter? Sounds to me like he went backstage, showed the message to some of his boys and groupie chicks, got pumped up and decided this was a fight that: a) he could win and b) he needed to address so he didn’t look like a punk to his entourage. In the end he pulled a punk move and made himself look like a looser.
Bless that little dude’s heart. I wonder if he menaces all the people who are confused by his appeal to some women. He would have to be menacing 24/7. You struck a nerve because he knows that it’s the money, not him, that’s turning those misguided chicks on.
I see where Amanda is coming from but women have been disrespected waay before hip hop existed. Hip Hop’s way more aggressive in expression but women have been fighting male chauvenism for years.
I can’t be bothered by what rappers say because they are way more insecure than the women they speak against. That Wale example is proof.