Privilege: It’s Not Just for White Folks
This Monday, Tayari Jones gave a reading at the Howard County Library in Ellicott City, Maryland, in support of her acclaimed third novel, Silver Sparrow, and its paperback release. By now, I’m sure many Clutchettes have read the book or are, at least, familiar with its premise. But just in case, here’s the super-short version: It’s the story of a bigamist’s two daughters and their complicated relationships with their father and each other.
In discussing the novel’s premise, Jones said she understood the complexities of sharing a dad. Her own father has daughters from previous relationships — and their experiences with and perceptions of their dad significantly differ. As a result, she talked about discovering her own privilege, as the daughter who got to spend every day with their father. Her sisters only saw him intermittently. When Jones’ nephew heard her describe his mother as her “half-sister” at one of her readings, he took issue with the term, calling it an “ugly word” and stating that there are “no half-people.” (For more of her account of that experience, visit her publisher, Algonquin Books, blog.)
Jones didn’t immediately understand the term half-sister as a pejorative. To her mind, the term accurately described the connection between her and her father’s other daughters. But it occurred to her that the meaning shifts and has different emotional implications, depending on the person using it. She went on to say, “You’re not responsible for the privilege you inherit, but once you’re aware of it, how you use it defines your character.” Needless to say, she started referring to her sisters as “my sister(s) with whom I share a father.”
It was interesting to listen to Tayari Jones discuss privilege, a concept we mostly hear bandied about in regard to the white, the male, and the wealthy. To be sure, it isn’t a term that springs immediately to mind in conversations about black women in this country. Between earning inequities, media misrepresentations, the “mule of the world” meme, and everything in between, we aren’t exactly the poster children for entitlement.
And yet there are several circumstances that can potentially place us at higher stations in life than those around us. Certainly, some of those circumstances are familial and relational. Wives are often in positions of privilege, as it relates to their husband’s other children. Children who have “full custody” of their fathers are privileged over their siblings who don’t. Maternal grandmothers may spend far more time with their grandchildren than paternal grandmothers. The possibilities along those lines are immense.
But there are plenty of other instances where black women may experience privilege. Some of those are cultural. Consider the hiring bias against applicants with “ethnic-sounding” names. In a hiring pool, Sharon Jones may have the unwitting upper hand over Shaquanita Jackson. Similarly, there are situations in which American-born black women find themselves at a distinct advantage over other women of the diaspora.
There’s economic, educational, and professional privilege. And then there’s the kind of inadvertent “leverage” black men will occasionally suggest we have.
Last semester, one of my freshmen insisted the young women in our predominantly black course were “better off” than the young men because they were “females.” “It’s easier for y’all to get jobs, y’all got lower car insurance, y’all can get assistance if you need it, and y’all don’t get profiled by the police like we do,” he asserted. While the girls argued his points, he wouldn’t be dissuaded. And, because I’ve had and heard the same exchange — with much older folks, over many years — enough to feel exhausted by it, I didn’t join in with the chorus.
Because of its connotations, privilege isn’t always something we want to own. The idea suggests an unearned superiority and the power to oppress. And who wants to be associated with that? But what Jones said in her reading was key: It isn’t the privilege or how we obtain it that matters as much as what we choose to do with it. If we use it to lord our better lot over those less fortunate, we abuse it and squander its ability to heal, reconcile, and improve.
Have you inherited the kind of familial privilege Jones discusses? How about economic or cultural privilege? Have you ever been roped into a debate over which oppressed group has it better: black women or black men, black Americans or black emigrants to America?
- I have not inherited the familial privilege Jones discuses, but my half-brother does as he has had our father in his life since he was born whereas my sister and I have mostly had an absentee father. Most times I refer to my half-brother as ‘my brother’ when I am speaking with immediate family.
- I haven’t experienced any economic or cultural privilege.
-The only time I discuss who has it worse is when it comes to women and men.
Able-bodied privilege. Religious (belonging to the majority-religion or sect) privilege. Sexual orientation privilege. Along with educational/class etc. privilege, there is a ton of privileges that black women can and do benefit from. However, I’m going to give a maaaaajor side eye to any black men who want to claim we have some sort of “female privilege.” Male privilege is much more long-standing, much more potent, and much more widespread than any suspected female advantages. This especially plays out intra-racially when the vast majority of African-American figureheads and groups are mostly comprised of black men who focus on black men and their issues, and the long history of the silencing of black women when it comes to domestic violence, sexual and street harassment, sexual assault, etc. because we shouldn’t ever speak a word against black men with all the racial oppression they face (as if this never extends to black women as well) almost vis-a-vis the “no snitching” culture. Don’t air your dirty laundry, etc. Only this of course only serves the purpose of coddling black men from owning up to their privilege at the expense of the health, sanity, and safety of black women.
I can own up to all of my privileges that I do have but intersectionality is real. Sometimes playing that game is just pointless and futile. Does the trust-fund-enabled gay white man with cystic fibrosis have a worse run than the straight able-bodied latina? I guess we could rank all of the privileges on a scale of importance but I doubt we’d ever come to a meaningful consensus. Something gives me the feeling that while most of us would agree on things like able-bodied privilege, despite being a majority-Christian society, there’s still Christians who claim they’re marginalized. Despite men still enjoying most of the positions of power and wealth, “men’s-rights advocates” and groups still exist. People tend to want to give more credence to claims of oppression against them regardless of how true the reverse may be because everyone likes to be a victim and no one wants to admit that they have unearned power nor spend the effort/energy to use that power to help “the other side.”
If a comparatively preferable situation is all that is required to constitute the unearned privilege to which you refer, I find it odd that you recognize it in so many ways save in reference to black males. while black males do enjoy several areas of black male privilege in comparison to black women, black women enjoy several privileges, especially in reference to education and the criminal justice system.
Ravi, I don’t agree with calling those areas of privilege because while they may affect one gender more than the other, they still affect both genders on a significant level. Black people as a whole are criminalized moreso than white people, and that includes black women. I read a story not too long ago about a visibly pregnant woman who was tasered, and before I even read the article, I knew she was a black woman (or at least a woman of color) because a police officer would have respect for the life of a pregnant white woman and child. Black people in general have less wealth, which leads to a more poorly funded school system, which leads to a poorer and more apathetic quality of education for BOTH genders. And I still see most of the focus groups and community-based initiatives heavily focuses on black boys and black men. Perhaps with good reason in many cases, but that still doesn’t excuse the culture of silencing that exists with regard to the issues that face black women like street harassment, rape, domestic violence, etc. that continue to go unaddressed on any meaningful level.
Courtney, you are being inconsistent. you claim that you don’t agree that those are areas of privilege just because they affect one gender more than the other given that they actually affect both groups, yet every example that you gave of privilege is such simply because they affect one group more than the other and both groups are affected. Men are victims of street harassment, rape, domestic violence, and silencing. Everything you named happens to both genders, but it doesn’t matter. The point is that all of those things happen to women far more often. The same thing with race. you mention that black people are MORE criminalized than white people. Well black men are MORE criminalized than black women. Black men are MORE often victims of the criminal justice system than black women. Black men are MORE often incarcerated than women. Yes these things happen to both men and women just as they happen to white people, but the only thing that matters is that one group is disproportionately affected.
Same thing with the education system. Black male students do considerably worse than black female students. And this is not about poor schools. When you control for wealth, location, school quality, and just about every other factor, black males still do worse than black females in nearly every measure of academic achievement. The gap is about as wide as it is between black students and white students. Black female students enjoy great statistical advantages when it comes to drop out rates, admittance and attendance in college, test scores, GPA, etc.
Recognize that I’m not talking about excusing anything. I’m just saying that privilege isn’t absolute and it cuts both ways depending on the arena. you already admitted the difficulties in ranking privileges when it comes to other areas. Why is it such a stretch when it comes to black female vs. black male privilege.
Not sure I would consider such things as high test scores or *educational achievement* as “privilege”, particularly, when you have so many black boys and girls coming from the same background with that gap. I think there are probably very important reasons why there is a gap, but I don’t think some sort of institutionalized preferential treatment of black girls, and not boys, is the cause. Growing up in a white school district, the black boys and black girls were criminalized, dismissed, not supported etc. the same. In that situation, it seemed like actual interest in your future was what kept you from going under. For me, I cared a/b my future/college/etc. because of how I was raised–perhaps socio-economc status was the “privilege” acting here, not being a black girl.
@Ravi,
I was going to just ignore your simple ___________, but since you felt free to try to stunt in the other post… I will too! =)
Ya’ll are locked up more because ya’ll are committing CRIMES more. For a dude with a MBA/JD “Recognize that I’m not talking about excusing anything.”, you should have realized that all you provided was excuses. Instead of being on a WOMEN’S site, trying to argue with women, go be that change that you want in the world.
this didn’t go in the right spot so I’m going to try this again
@Vee
But when they come from the same background there still is a gap. black girls are doing better than black boys when you control for background. If it’s a matter of privilege for class or race, then how is it not when it comes to black girls vs. black boys? White students do better than black students because of their privilege, not because white students are naturally smarter than black students. Rich students do better than poor students because of their privilege, not because they are better. Same with black girls and black boys. Their are very large gaps that form the basis of the privilege. I could get into the actual causes of the gap, but that would get kind of lengthy. They are quite varied and it is more complex than a simple system of preferential treatment.
There is an aspect to this that maps on to SES, no doubt, but when you control for money, you still have a gap. Rich black girls do better than rich black boys. poor black girls do better than poor black boys. At the school I taught, the AP classes routinely had at least two-thirds girls and the remedial classes were mostly boys. This is the same sort of privilege that sees white male students dominating white females academically in math and sciences. Those white male students aren’t naturally smarter, they enjoy a privilege that causes such disparate impact. It is the exact same thing with black girls and black boys.
@Anon,
Who is stunting? I’m just having a normal conversation with people that actually can converse without personalizing things. You should try it sometime. if you had an issue with something I said, how about acting like an educated person and explaining why you disagree. It is possible to have civil discussions with people that don’t share your perspective. Well, at least it is for most people.
Black males are disproportionately represented in prison as compared to the relative numbers of actual offenders. For example, in New York, black males make up the majority of marijuana convictions even though they represent a relatively much smaller minority of the actual marijuana offender. In NYC, black males are stopped and searched at a much higher rate than any other group, including black females, despite not making up the same relative percentage of actual offenders. Black males receive larger sentences for the same crime than any other demographic group. These are all simple facts (not you can accuse me of spitting facts on the site) that you could have easily looked up if you bothered to actually read up on a topic before opening your mouth. None of these represent excuses. Excuses are reasons that seek to justify something. What am I trying to justify. I’m just pointing out another aspect of privilege that seems to be getting overlooked. I’m doing no different than anyone else on this thread that is similarly pointing out areas of disparate impact that constitute privilege. Now if you have an actual argument to make, by all means, go right ahead. Otherwise, you are just living up to the silly behaviors you are erroneously accusing me of.
Well frankly, if the data is out there that you and yours are more likely to get locked up and with longer sentences, the first order of bizness would be to STOP ENGAGING in those behaviors that could get you locked up. Seems easy enough to me.
“Who is stunting? I’m just having a normal conversation with people that actually can converse without personalizing things. You should try it sometime.” Boo please, go back and read the comments you tried to “school” me with on the previous post. And then take your own advice.
That’s a different conversation. I’m just establishing an area of disparate impact that constitutes an area of privilege. I’m not so sure it’s as easy as you are making it out to be. Just go tell everyone to stop using and selling marijuana. But that’s still moot. The problem we are talking about is that other groups are able to engage in the same actions without the same harshness of consequences. It’s unacceptable that non-black males get a slap on the wrist or a pass for committing the same crimes.
My comment was in reference to the current discussion. you accused me of stunting on this thread. I was having a normal conversation without personal attacks on this thread, until you showed up with more insults. What happened on a separate thread was a dead issue. You should try to move on.
Anon = troll
Boy please. Triflin on the last post, triflin on this one. But at least you admitted that you went above and beyond “normal” conversation when it came to men acting like men.
“I’m not so sure it’s as easy as you are making it out to be.”———> Yes it is. Don’t be a CRIMINAL.
“The problem we are talking about is that other groups are able to engage in the same actions without the same harshness of consequences.” ———> LIFE isn’t fair. And until it is… don’t be a criminal.
I’m never trifling, but that seems to be your word for people that disagree with you. I guess that makes it semantics. Notice how you can’t stick to the actual issue. I never went above and beyond, I responded in kind to your personal attacks. Don’t start none, won’t be none. I was perfectly content to have a conversation without making things personal, but it seems all you want to do is attack.
If it were that easy, then there wouldn’t be any criminals. People are told all the time not to be a criminal. That’s still a moot point. The discussion you intruded on was about privilege, not ways you can end the ills of society. Never said life is fair, but how does that at all relate to any point that I’ve raised. black women still enjoy privileges in certain realms and you have yet to make an actual argument as to why this is not the case.
Discussion I intruded on? Wait for it… TRIFLIN.
What about the SITE that’s for black women that you are crashing right now, trying to give excuses for simple behavior?
“Privileges” that black women enjoy include being dogged out on the radio by fools. Privileges include being harrassed on the street. Privileges that black women enjoy include having “JD/MBAs”* try to play the victim with women over who is more powerless.
*The sad thing is I actually believe that you have those two degrees, and possibly from said school, and you are STILL on a black women’s site acting a victim… as a dude.
you intruded on the conversation on this very thread. Scroll up and read how it went down. No one was talking to you and you addressed me specifically just to hurl more insults and say irrelevant things. This site is for anyone with internet access and interest in the subject matter. If the editors didn’t want men here they would make that known and block our comments. you don’t own the website, so you don’t get to say who is crashing and isn’t. It does explicitly state that people that just go around making personal attacks aren’t welcome. maybe you are the crasher, given you can’t seem to make a statement without name calling.
how did I play the victim? do you know what the term means? are you just stringing together random words at this point in the hope of constructing a legitimate argument. you are just making a random assertion. Now try to explain how on God’s green earth that anything I mentioned amounts to claiming victim-hood. I’m pointing out an area of privilege NOT saying someone has been victimized. I didn’t say black women are in a complete and utter state of privilege over black men, so your comment doesn’t even make sense.
I also have degrees in education and engineering, that’s not the point. The only thing sad here is the fact that you still can’t put together two sentences to form what even slightly resembles a coherent argument. you have yet to legitimately rebut anything I’ve said. I’m not expecting a great debate out of you, because this is obviously not your area of expertise. but you could at least stick to the topic at hand and try to make a little bit of since.
Well I’ll keep it simple.
1) *sense* is the word you were looking for in your last statement.
At least I can say that I helped a brother out today.
you, doing grammar checks? that’s ironic. well, I appreciate the correction. BTW, business isn’t spelled with a “z”
you should probably fix your numerous issues with spelling and grammar before correcting someone else’s, but I digress. I’ll make sure not to make the same mistake in the future.
you said,
“Similarly, there are situations in which American-born black women find themselves at a distinct advantage over other women of the diaspora.”
do you mind expounding on this?
What’s to expound on?
We live in rich Western nation with the option of public education, access to a highly prized passport, and the internet. Seriously, outside of Europe, we have resources that a whole lot of black women other places in the world would love to have. Shoot, we had a black female secretary of state in the most powerful country on the planet!
I think the general rule is that every American is more privileged over their same race, same gender,same age, same economic status counterparts from ‘other’ countries
As an American, I do often realize how privilege we are to have the military powers that we have (and the lack of terrorist acts that come with it)
Snort, cough and laugh
I think a lot of Americans think they live on a whole other scale when in fact they are living through the same struggles. The tears yunna shed over Obama – when black folk have been ruling themselves for ages. Look at Jamaica: female BLACK Prime Minister…and you want to claim Secretary of State? There are lots of places that have internet, that don’t have terrorists lurking outside to grab you, that are not on one of those feed the children commercials. I don’t like that Black Americans like to look down on the ‘other black folk’. Ya’ll aren’t as privileged as you’d like to think.
Definitely a statement made by someone who hasn’t spent much time amongst black people living outside of the US- especially in majority black countries.
“Look at Jamaica: female BLACK Prime Minister”
Hahahahaha!!!! I am ROLLING over the fact that you’re bringing up JAMAICA of all countries. Okay, let me spell this out. Being a female prime minister of an off-shoot of the British in a primarily black nation (known for tourism) is NOT the same as being Secretary of State as a black woman in a predominately white nation that is the most powerful in the world.
“The tears yunna shed over Obama – when black folk have been ruling themselves for ages.” —> Majority white country sweets, that’s the difference. Call me up when the Korean minority in Japan has a Prime Minister. Then we can talk about similarities. I done been to the “Motherland”. It was awesome, but I came back for a reason.
I dont have any privileges
Translation: “I’m not aware of my privileges”
Are you that close to Ellicott City? Clutch really should have a meetup. I’m literally right down the road in Baltimore County!
I have a half-sister, and in my situation, I’m the privileged one because my sisters and I lived with my dad full time and I didn’t even know I had a half sister until I was 15 or 16. I feel bad for her sometimes, but there is nothing I can do about it now. It is still strange to hear her say ‘Daddy’ when she talks about him. I’m privileged in other ways too, and I thank BOTH of my parents for that.