When this article was posted Monday morning, I had two reactions when I reached the end. My first thought? She’s not the only one, I know that much. Second, I wonder what the comments are going to say. Admittedly so, I was prepared to read a lot of “well there’s something you must be doing wrong.” Although there were a few comments to that tune, the majority were quite positive and relatable, but that also did not surprise me.
The truth is, yes, it is quite normal for a 20-something chick to not have been on an actual date, and that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with any of us. Up until last year, I was one of them. My first “real” date didn’t happen until I was 24. And it’s sort of an inside joke that it took me living in a different country and meeting foreign men for this to actually happen. But as to why guys don’t put forth the effort of taking out a girl they’re interested in? The answers will usually be debatable. I had one guy say “I don’t date like that. It’s not my thing.” So you know what I did? I stopped talking to him. No more phone calls; no more texts. What’s the point of wasting your time with a guy who doesn’t date “like that?” Whatever “that” means. For the guys who just don’t date, because it’s not something they do, I feel they either don’t know how or they’re just too lazy to put forth the effort. They’ve probably gotten used to getting the girl without the dating process. Dating them has always been chilling at his house. Why change something that’s been working out perfectly for him? Then there are the guys who don’t date because “that” would mean spending money on a girl who isn’t his, and for some odd reason, that’s an issue to them. But these are the types of guys you shouldn’t want to date. Any smart man would know there’s plenty you can do on a date that does not entail spending money. And really, what’s his issue of spending money on a date? Imagine what type of boyfriend that guy would be … not good.
Let’s be real: Most men are creatures of habit, most a bit selfish, and all too stubborn. No, I’m not male-bashing, I’m just being honest. But for every creature of habit, selfish, stubborn man, there’s one who knows how to compromise, be a giver, and be a respectful gentleman. There are men who know how to approach a woman and understand the occasion of a proper date. There are men who may not want to spend money, but can think of other ways to date cost-free. There are men who may be busy with work or school, but who know if they want to see you, they’ll have to make time to take you out.
Being this age and never having been on a real date is not something you should be worried about. Of course, it’s frustrating, but many of us have been here. If you’re doing everything right, the right chivalrous guy will approach you. I think the real problem is getting to that place to meet the right guy. But, that’s a whole ’nother story.