Recently fashion blogger and MTV “Twitter jockey”  Gabi Gregg stirred up quite a bit of attention for writing about wearing a bikini. While fat.

Said Gregg:

“I love my body. I think we should reject these fashion rules about what we are and what we are not allowed to wear … We have to be happy with the bodies that we have right now.” Gregg added that she is not trying to lose weight but is promoting a healthy lifestyle. “You can be any size and be happy with your weight, and that doesn’t mean you’re not practicing healthy habits,” she said.

Photographed on vacation in her two-piece, she encouraged other women to post pictures of themselves – regardless of their shape – in bikinis and it was refreshing. Some concern trolled about weight and health, but ignored the fact that a lot of women, even thin women, don’t wear bikinis because they don’t feel they possess what the tabloids call a “bikini body.”

Ah, the “bikini body.” That ethereal thing where everyone, suddenly, is supposed to look like a swimsuit model or a Hollywood starlet or a freshly sunned Kardashian – instead of their bony, lumpy, awkward selves. It’s where we apply an impossible standard on a situation where we shouldn’t  even give a crap.

But most importantly, the pursuit for the “ideal”  keeps us from actually enjoying our life in the moment.

How many times have you or someone you’ve known forgone pleasure because we felt we didn’t deserve it for some superficial reason? Where most simple parts of living are now “rewards”  only for those who have the right “look” to obtain them? Where you can’t get married unless you drop the weight for the wedding, or you can’t go to the beach this summer if you don’t get into a certain shape, or that you can’t buy new clothes or start dating again unless you go down or up a dress size?

And how often does this – what we think will be motivation – turn into de-motivation at doing anything. Often saying “I’m not going to do so-and-so until I look this certain way” really means, “I’m never doing that at all because I don’t deserve it.”

What you end up doing is avoiding something fun because you’re worried about someone else’s judgment of your body when it’s really your own judgment and notions that’s truly holding you back. It sounds crazy when you say it out-loud. But that’s how a lot of us think. And we were encouraged to think this way by a society that puts women’s bodies up for critique – whether it’s Beyonce, Angelina Jolie, or your next door neighbor.

After all, if the so-called “most beautiful women”  in the world can’t avoid ridicule about weight loss, muscle tone, facial structure, and hair – how can you?

Being a woman means your body is always up for discussion. Fat, thin, fit – there’s no way to escape it. You have the choice to ignore it and live your life as you see fit, or you can waste valuable time fretting about how you look instead of just enjoying whatever is the actual task at hand.

You can worry about fitting into the wedding dress, or you can look forward to the excitement of the day and the life you’re building together with your partner. You can relish in professional opportunities, go on vacations, and focus on the fun, or you can agonize over whether you “deserve” that fun because when you have it, your hiking, beach, or sight-seeing trip won’t look like a Vogue-ready fashion spread.

You can take photographs of your memories or avoid all photos out of fear of seeing only the “fat” and not all the fun you had.

I don’t know how many times I’ve worried if I wasn’t having the “right” kind of love or dating life because of my weight fluctuations. That maybe I didn’t “deserve” love because I was “fat.” Never mind that I had friends and co-workers heavier than me who had found love, gotten married, and started families. It didn’t matter if there was evidence all around me of people enjoying their lives. I was fixated on my weight and my worth instead of just focusing on being happy. It took me a moment to realize – as I pined over older, thinner pictures of myself – that I wasn’t any more confident when I was smaller than I was now. No changes to the outside truly changed what was going on inside.

My insecurities didn’t really come from my size but from my anxiety about being accepted. Even if weight was removed from the equation, I would just replace my fears about fatness with my fears about not being “lovable” or being too needy or being too brainy or worrying about if I was pretty enough.

I needed to fix what was wrong with my heart before I could tackle being out-of-shape.  Because fat, fit, or thin, I wanted to be able to enjoy my life. What’s the point of sweating and working your way to fitness only to still be oppressed by thoughts of inadequacy, worrying what others think.

Have your fun and be healthy too. Or not. A good life isn’t a reward for being a size 6. You can have a good or bad life at any size. Why choose a self-imposed misery if there’s something you can do about it? Why sit on the sidelines of your life waiting to be “changed?”

Why not just change your thinking and get in the game?

  • DBG

    The idea that a woman has to be super thin is definitely a screwed body image mentality. However, so is the notion that being overweight and obese is somehow a healthier one.

    I’m as saddened for a women lugging around 50 lbs of unnecessary weight as I am for those who need to eat few burgers.

  • http://www.itsoftenbeensaid.wordpress.com Sasha

    While I think its wonderful she feels so comfortable with herself to wear a swimsuit, especially a bikini, at her size (because I most definitely wouldn’t) I really think we should get away from telling people that they can/ should be happy/ healthy at any size. That is a lie, irresponsible and wreaks of denial. I only hear fat/ bigger say that and its very telling.

  • http://changecomesslow.com/ Nikesha

    no matter what size a woman is her insecurities will play a part on how people see her as well as how she sees herself.

    as a somewhat coveted size 6 i don’t think my body image is any better than someone twice the size as i am and they may have more confidence.

    i look at my wedding video from when i got married three weeks ago and i notice the imperfections in my body. some of my friends would slap me upside the head for saying that but i notice it. but i always do.

    my thoughts of what i should look like and what i look like don’t match up.

    that didn’t stop me from enjoying my day, my husbands love, or prancing around Hawaii in a two-piece. i am insecure and fearless, worried about what others think but also don’t give a F***.

    every woman will have to be able to calm the little voice inside that’s critical to let your biggest self shine.

  • http://changecomesslow.com/ Nikesha

    as the somewhat coveted size 6… my struggle with body image is no different than someone who may be twice my size.

    i noticed my imperfections in my wedding dress when i watched the video of the occasion from three weeks ago.

    i noticed my imperfections as i traipsed around hawaii in a bikini.

    i notice my imperfections daily.

    but i’ve also found a way to put my critical voice on low and let my “i don’t give a F***” attitude” take over to balance my insecurities with my biggest self.

    it is a balance every woman with insecurities needs to find to live their lives out loud.

  • Yb

    “I’m as saddened for a women lugging around 50 lbs of unnecessary weight as I am for those who need to eat few burgers.”

    +1

    Both extremes are unhealthy.

  • luminous

    she looks great!

  • Yb

    I think she looks great too and more women of all sizes should take notes from her about swimwear. She chose the perfect swim suit to fit and compliment her body. Not to sagging, not too tight. Perfect for her body structure. It’s fashionable and appropriate her bodies’ shape.

  • http://www.jessicasimien.com Jessica

    I turned down an invite to hang out poolside because of this very thing. I think my body looks fine in a swimsuit, I just don’t want to put one on until I feel like everyone would think it looks fine too. Messed up way of thinking, huh? I have to admit, I do want the ideal “bikini body” before wearing my swimsuit.

  • Fit_MissC

    This article is so on point. In the past (and sometimes now) I have forgone fun because of my insecurities of what others would think about my body. In Grade 5 I decided not try out for the track team because I was worried about my “thighs” and what my peers might say. This “thigh worry” plagued me for years and because of it I didn’t wear shorts out, no matter how hot it got. It was only until about 4 years ago did I start wearing shorts (and skirts) and the reason for the change was due in large part to getting older & accepting that my 22” thighs weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. I also grew to accept my body as naturally athletic and instead of hiding I hit the gym on the regular to maintain and enhance what I got. I think back to the pre-teen me and wish that I hadn’t given into the “Seventeen” magazine ideal of what a women’s body should look like and accepted mine as is. Although, some may look at the J. Los and Kim Ks and see those bodies as unattainable, they put the the curvy fit woman on blast and in doing so have allowed countless women to accept and flaunt what they got including me.

  • pe.riche.

    My personal experience mirros much of what was stated in the article.

    I had managed to get myself down to a size 8, from a size 18. But I was so miserable. I was hungry all of the time, and spent so much energy at the gym and worrying about the calories in this and the carbs in that, that I didn’t enjoy being around myself or my friends.

    Now I am back to being a size 18. And while I was upset about buying a new wardrobe all oover again, I am able to take care of myself (both physically AND mentally) in a way that i haven’t, or possibily wasn’t mature enough, to do before.

    Health wise, while I am not pre-diabetic, nor do I have hypertension or any other health issuess (ask my family physician! Lol), I feel so much more joyous because I am no longer forcing myself to be something I am not. Yes I exercise at least 5 times a week (be it water aerobics, walking, or cycling), and no, I am not a size 2. However, I am proof that it is possible to actually be healthy, even if you are a size 12 or beyond.

    I just hope that men and women alike realize the limitations of their bodies, and accept the fact that some of us (specifically me) cannot sustain at a much smaller size.

  • stellaxo

    you have taken the words out of my mouth! :) lol
    another point that stuck out in the article:
    “Being a woman means your body is always up for discussion.”
    so twisted, but SO true; its fascinating and revolting- the rules our society has made up for themselves. makes me believe more that to truly live, your purpose has to be greater than and far surpass the ideas and general opinions of society, thus creating an urgent need for spirituality or religion.

    we can’t let these ideas mold us- to question what would be acceptable in a decade before our time and question further as to whether we would live our lives more freely… the thought makes the issue of weight so trivial, but in our society it means everything.

    i’m usually a size 4, and it took me a long time for me to be comfortable with my body (and to even wear shorts!)- especially after gaining weight during my preteen/pubescent years.
    lots of trying times that i would rather not try to remember.
    :(

  • Anon

    Are a lot of women really and truly this insecure? Before reading blogs, it really never occured to me to care THAT much about what other women were up to. I mean seriously? Ya’ll are comparing every picture? You don’t just see you having a good time with your friends? Going to the beach is THAT real? Because I’m starting to feel like some of this is made up for attention, you know? Like Ooooooooo, I ain’t got nothing else going on in my life, let me talk about low self-esteem or “body image” so that someone will give me some shine.

    The more that I read, I’m thinking some of ya’ll need Jesus, a Daddy, a vacation, a man, , a hobby, SOMETHING to ground you in life.

  • Singlequeen

    i’m guilty of letting my body image get in the way of enjoying life a lot of times. I’m working on that. Anyway, I am so sick and tired of other thinner people thinking it is their “duty” to tell bigger people that they need to lose weight. What should an overweight person do? Stay in the house, cry and starve themselves until they come out skinny and pleasing to your eyes? Just silly. And for the record, healthy weight loss is 1 to 2 pounds a week so if a person has more that 10 pounds to lose, you will not see the results of their healthy lifestyle right away. I say this because people are so judgemental when they see an overwieght person but unless you know that person, you would not know if they are in the middle of a weight loss journey. Heck, you would not know how they reached that size in the first place. Thyroid, depression, compulsive eating, you would not know.
    I try to refrain from getting worked up but this is a pet peeve of mine. I get tired of some people walking around acting like they are better than another human being because of their body size. I have seen plenty of unattractive and unhealthy skinny people (in my opinion) but I don’t think it is my duty to calll out how unattractive they are and I don’t feel like I am superior to them either. I can go on and on but before I end I want to say bravo to Gabi from Gabi fresh. She is gorgeous and beauty comes in all sizes. So does ugly.

  • Jaded

    100% disagree. You should be happy at any size. You only get one body, the one you have. If you put life on hold because you can’t accept they way you are today, yo are missing out. It doesn’t matter if you are size 2, size 6, size 12 or size 22.

    Most women have body image issues, whether thin, overweight, or average, and many stop living until they look “acceptable.” This is a fallacy that you need to look a certain way in order to live.

    Life happens whether you are at your “ideal” weight or not, so you should embrace what you have today.

  • melinda

    I really needed this article..the article does not say at 300 lbs go running thru the streets and love it..but its saying even at 300 lbs love yourself. Yes we should want to be healthy and live a healthy life but if we cant look in that mirror in the morning and say i love you to ourselves then we missed the point.

  • df

    important thing is living a healthy lifestyle and taking care of your body. There are thin and fat people who have cancer growing in their bodies, candida overgrowth, clogged arteries, parasites in their body, stomachs full of undigested food, are extremely sleep deprived, regularly deprive their body of essential nutrients and they are lying to themselves and others talking about they are living a healthy lifestyle. Your body knows the truth…

    The people shouting at them for being gross and not taking care of themselves will be the same ones scarfing down hamburgers, drinking like fishes, holding onto anger and just being crap to their bodies but it’s ok because they aren’t “overweight”. Worry about yourself please!

    I just think it’s good to appreciate and not put down your body at ANY weight….there’s one thing working towards a goal to lose weight but you can still appreciate your body where it’s at, appreciate yourself while still taking care of yourself. I don’t get the point of walking around hating yourself no matter what, it helps nothing.

  • df

    also, i used to be in a small community on Livejournal with Gabi a few years ago and she’s a mad cool chick. I’m happy to see her being successful, she’s done really, really well for herself.

  • minna k.

    I think it is great that she has that much confidence. It shows the amount of healthy support and love that she has had in her upbringing. I admire people who have this.

    …And she looks great. The suit is definitely flattering, as was her suit from last summer.
    Having a pretty face doesn’t hurt either.

  • apple

    Well I don’t know . Some people who are big can’t control it. It’s quite difficult I assume vs someone who’s naturally thin . So that’s what I think of when they say don’t try to slim down. That they can’t help it . You can prob eat right exercise and still be a little chunky and someone naturally skinny can eat like a piggy and be thin (guilty) . So I try to be empathetic to that reasoning

  • minna k.

    “I’m not going to do so-and-so until I look this certain way”
    Where most simple parts of living are now “rewards” only for those who have the right “look” to obtain them?”

    Story of my life.

  • stellaxo

    ….maybe you need some empathy. :)
    between captions in the tabloids about the state of someones body, plastic surgery ads, and a lot of times the scathing comments made by our own peers (most of the time from women and friends), its difficult not to have critical thoughts about your appearance.

    if you are and always have been so secure in yourself, good for you (someone please give this anon a pat on the back!!), but with so many influences in todays society, to credit the genuine testimonials of women simply to a desire for attention is ridiculous (please, tell me, what attention/exposure/benefit are we getting from this? i even glanced back over the comments: hardly any of us have links to a blog….? i don’t get your point.)

    if you don’t agree with the article, fine.
    if you don’t relate to it, cool.
    but are you seriously going to sit here and judge people because of their past and present experiences due to what may have been lower than *your standard* of self esteem?

  • http://www.pinkpantiesandleopardlipstick.wordpress.com Myisha of Pink Panties & Leopard Lipstick

    I think she looks great and she has beautiful skin…

  • Echo

    As a full-figured woman who has always struggled with weight, I can so relate to this piece. I agree with those of you who insist that it’s damaging to suggest that being overweight or obese is acceptable from a health and wellness perspective. But if you’ve ever tried to lose weight–regardless as to how much you need or want to lose–then you know that there is a significant mental and psychological component to it. When I was much younger (in my teens), on rare occasions (thankfully) it was hinted to me that if I shed a few pounds, “boys would like me”. Well, true though that may or may not have been, my retort was, “But if they don’t like me now, why would they like me thinner?” And the “me” to which I referred was not just my body, but my whole self. Very early on I decided that I needed to accept my body as it was, to love myself as I was, and then to do what needed to be done to be healthier. Even with the extra pounds, my vitals (cholesterol, blood pressure, blood sugar, etc) are always excellent. But yes, my doctor continues to encourage me to shed a few pounds (and I have, and continue to do so) because obviously it’s better for me. All that said, everyone else’s opinions about my body are of no import to me. I’m a big girl doing what I need to do to get and stay healthy, and me and my back fat and thigh dimples will be fearlessly rocking a swimsuit (possibly a bikini!) this summer!

  • belle/demetria

    I got thru this feeling one day sitting on the beach. I was in a swimsuit with a wife beater and shorts to cover up what I didn’t think was narrow or tight enough to be seen. I noticed all these men with Rick-Ross bellies (and boobies), some even with rug-like hair walking around COMPLETELY CAREFREE about their size/bodies.

    I decided right then, “eff this!” And started removing all the excess clothes.

    In some cases, it does pay to “think like a man.”

    I’m not perfect. But I’ma enjoy all the sun I can (with SPF, of course) and expose as much body to it as is decent for the occasion. If you don’t like it, don’t look.

    Honestly, most people, if they even notice you, only give you a passing thought. Those who pay more attention than that have their own issues to work out. Your body isn’t their real problem.

  • Anon

    Yep. I’m judging. Because this IS actually ridiculous. Who said anything about someone having a blog themselves? I’m talking about reading some of them and recently it has gotten to the point where I no longer read/check in to several because they just turned into pity parties.

    If somenone’s self-perception is really and truly THAT much of an issue, therapy is truly the answer. Who is even paying a lot of ya’ll that much attention in the first place? I absolutely think that some of this body-image talk is so that some folks can FINALLY have someone paying them attention. I mean if folks can’t get shine for obvious reasons, this is certainly an alternate route. I didn’t hear anything about this until what… three years ago or so? It actually isn’t that difficult to not have critical thoughts about your appearance. A gym and makeup do work wonders.

  • Anon

    The main reason a lot of people are now “concerned” is due to the health costs. Premiums cost yo. Same with OOW pregancies. No one actually cares what happens to a lot of those children, it is simply the price that everyone else is paying for the children that is the issue.

  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

    Imma leave the commentary to the girls, they know themselves! I have tons to say, but I need to restrain myself for fear of getting banned.

  • cabugs

    I feel that this is the same way I am! What I want to look like doesn’t match up with what I would like to look like. However, when it comes down to it, I don’t let that hold me back; I do what I have to do.

    Like you, “i am insecure and fearless, worried about what others think but also don’t give a F***” – It’s quite the paradox, but this is how I feel often :) Just have to find the right balance!

  • tiffany

    Except that it actually IS possible to be happy and healthy in a larger body, particularly if you exercise regularly.

    One study found that a quarter of healthy weight people have at least two cardiovascular risk factors, while half of overweight and a third of obese people are healthy by metabolic measures. Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/19/health/19well.html. I’m part of that half, actually.

    The reason why you only hear fat people making this argument is because skinny people are too busy saying “OMG you can’t be FAT and HAPPY and HEALTHY and LOVED and perceived as ATTRACTIVE! That messes with my world view too much for it to be true!” But it is.

  • MySister’sKeeper

    The ones who scream the loudest about the depths of their personal security are usually the ones with the greatest insecurities.

  • http://www.itsoftenbeensaid.wordpress.com Sasha

    Right!! every time I post a comment that may go against the grain and my comment doesn’t immediately pop up, I immediately think “damn it finally happened, I got banned” lol

  • Anon

    Okay then. You really haven’t noticed a LARGE uptick in these “self-esteem” articles on just about every feminine blog over the past 3 or so years? You really haven’t noticed that at all? That’s like saying that the word “hater” hasn’t entered mainstream lexicon in the past few years. I HAVE been taken aback by the constant comments on blogs and the levels that other women seem to compare themselves to others, and I know I’m not the only one.

  • Humanista

    LOVE this!

  • chanela

    this article is sooo me!! my body fluctuates like CRAZY! i go from 125lbs to 155lbs(this is where i’m at now) and its so frustrating! at this point i’m depressed because none of my clothes fit or look right on me. i have days where i just want to stay in the house and sleep so the day can pass.

    my biggest fear right now is shorts.i’m not the biggest person in the world and most people say ” what are you talking about you’re not fat” i am not where i want to be though. i REFUSE to wear shorts if my thighs are rubbing together. i have no clue how other women deal with their thighs let alone their entire leg rubbing together with shorts on. it is the most annoying feeling in the world and i can’t stand it!

    most 21 year old women are freely wearing what they want, me on the other hand? i refuse to look sloppy in public. i feel like once i am able to wear shorts then i have reached my destination. until then if it’s hot? stay in the house or wear a dress.

    another huge problem i have is how even when i’m at 120lbs i’m still not happy because even though the fat is gone i’m left with such an ugly body shape. i have narrow hips like most black women it is so frustrating how i can’t have that sexy small waist wide beautiful hips type of body.

    i don’t know what to do it’s either i go back to 120lbs and have no butt at all and a ruler shape body, or i go to 150lbs and have a butt but ugly nasty cellulite rubbing together thighs and backfat. i want “the gap” so badly but i guess it just won’t happen for my body : (

  • chanela

    i’ve always worried about my thighs too. they are my worst enemy because i don’t have wide hips so they STAY rubbing together and preventing me from looking cute in shorts.

    there are way way women bigger than me that are able to look nice in shorts because their thighs don’t rub THAT much and they have absolutely no cellulite.there are also women bigger than me that can rock backless dresses and tops, i can’t my backfat looks TERRIBLE and i’m not even that big.it’s the way my body stores fat : (

    i’m 21 and have a crapload of cellulite and ugly “thick” thighs. i absolutely HATE being described as “thick” it’s not a cute look on EVERYBODY. some women can look nice with it, others just look awkward and sloppy. that’s how i feel. on me i feel like i was meant to be thin because of my small body structure. i don’t have fat in all the “right” places. i gain weight in all the WORST places (my face,thighs,and back) so i feel really unfortunate looking. you wouldn’t say so if you saw a picture of me,but i feel like i’m not supposed to look like that/this.

  • chanela

    the difference is that they are MEN. men are able to be big and fat with nobody saying anything to them.

    notice how so many women want and have a crush on rick ross because it’s acceptable. notice how magazines don’t stalk rick ross and talk about his weight the way they do with female celebrities who have a damn BABY and are crucified for not being thin as hell 3 days later. men can get away with being out of shape and unattractive. women have to have a million plastic surgeries and be skinny to be acceptable in this society.

  • tisme

    I also disagree.I’m pro good health.But no one should stop being HAPPY due to their weight.You can be dissatisfied with your weight and actively doing something about it but that doesn’t mean you have to stop living.

    Why should this woman stop going swimming,out to movies,etc simply because she’s fat?
    Some fat people work,some fat people pay taxes.Fat people are human no one should stop living until they get skinny.

  • stellaxo

    @ anon
    Yeah, I’m sure if i had your attitude and went to an AA meeting I would feel like it was a huge pity party as well. :)
    Also, just so you know, therapy isn’t solely defined as ‘going to a clinic to visit a psychiatrist and sitting on the couch to share your feelings’
    Therapy can be as simple as admitting something to yourself or sharing your story with others to start a healing or (just a healthier) process.
    And you’re paying the attention- you obviously have no business here or anything to contribute but negativity!
    There’s a large increase in these ‘type’ of articles bc image means so much these days-and the severity of this issue depends on the environment one grew up in.
    Attitudes such as this exist in (not only the black community) and then we wonder why the mental health of certain demographics is a problem at all.
    But I truly hope you got something good out of your heckling, bc as I mentioned before, its not helping anyone else…
    I somewhat understand your ‘logic’ but considering how ridiculous and inconsiderate your stance is, you’re about 4 degrees away from being a troll.

  • JaeBee

    Heck, I wish all I had to worry about was a little thickness when it comes to the swimsuit department. I think I would prefer that over the stretch marks that my thin, petite body has. Weight you can lose. Stretch marks (i.e. scars) become a permanent (unsightly) part of you for life.

  • Belle/Demetria

    @chanela

    I agree and have noticed that as well. I just decided not to care. The Second Agreementnis “Don’t take anything personal.” What other people’s hang ups are, are solely about them.

    I’ll be somewhere enjoying the sun and living some good life. If they want to take time out to judge me instead of living it up, then Goddess bless them and their miserable lives. may they do better when they see how great I’m living.

  • thinkpink

    chanela have you tried strength training with weights? That plus a combo of taebo and turbokick are getting my body a nice shape. I find that weight lifting makes me feel sexy and strong if nothing else. In spite of my shape the knowledge that I work extremely hard in the gym to make my body the best it can be increases my confidence a ton. Good luck to you and blackgirlsguidetoweightloss is a great resource for anyone wanting to get in shape and love the body they have.

  • Ann

    Why should anyone even wear a bikini. I’m on holiday in the Caribbean, I have a size 6 body but I wear a full body swimsuit and shorts to swim. Why people wear bikinis is completely a mystery to me. I’m on the verge on designing beachwear and swimwear for folks like me, who cannot understand the bikini.
    It reminds me of the wedding dress article…we do not have to wear bikinis to feel good or happy.

  • sharay

    I think you can be healthy at almost any size. Now gabi isn’t the slimmest chick but who knows what she eats or how much she goes to the gym. I used to live with the unhealthiest vegans ever! It was nothing but canned and frozen veggies(if any at all) sweet chili doritos(cause that’s the only flavor that is vegan) and vegan pizza. No way in heck were they healthier than me, a meat eater. And they weren’t the thinnest either. Live and let live ya’ll.

  • binks

    Great article! I always felt you should be living your life regardless if you are not yet your ideal weight or close to where you want to be body wise, one thing you can’t get back is time so why your obsessing over what you don’t look like or never look like you are missing your life. Don’t get me wrong I think everybody should strive in looking their personal best and being healthy but you don’t have to sit down by the wayside and miss out on portions of your life while you get there…if ever. Gabby has great boobs by the way…lol

  • chanela

    i actually JUST started going to the gym this month and i have been using the weight machines and all. i love it. i just wish i would get results 30 seconds after.lol

    that is the only thing that makes me feel better about myself is going to the gym because i feel myself progressing and getting better and better every time i go : )

  • Singlequeen

    @Chanela It saddens me that you are so burdened with negative body image. You are at a prime age where you can build your career, explore life, travel, meet new people, etc. I hope you are not letting your body image hold you back. Here are my thoughts and I hope it helps. One, if you really don’t like your weight and your previous size was healthy for your height and body frame, then I see nothing wrong with taking steps to lose the weight. At the end of the day, it is about what you think about your body and not what other people think. People will always have opinions and alot of time people’s opinions have a lot to do with what they think about their body. That is what people in psychology circles call projection. Two, we cannot change our body shapes but we as women are lucky in a sense because we have so many different clothing options. Statistically, from what I read, most women do not have an hour glass shape, rectangular shape is the most common. Certain types of clothing gives the illusion of an hour glass figure. Try wearing high waist clothing, a line skirts, belts to cinch in the waist. Also, most feminine/romantic clothing style creates an illusion of having an hour glass shape. Believe me, clothing makes a big difference!!! Hope this helps.

  • soulfullyreal

    I’m sorry but in the real world, rational ppl over 18 years old are not even that concerned about your body. They’ll give you a passing thought and keep it pushin. The media plays us into thinking only a certain kind of girl is attractive and it’s so untrue! I’m a size 14, at my biggest was an 18 and never had a problem pullin dudes. I got girlfriends bigger than me goin on vacay’s, two steppin w/ fine men in the club, one of my girls was very, very big, and she just got gastric bypass, and has had the same man (fine as hell btw) for 4 years.

    Other women (usually very young ones who were raised by music videos) are the ones rollin they eyes and talkin, but their opinion means nada to me. We all have our insecurities, granted, but to keep it 100, I’m more concerned about this damn acne on my chin than whether or not lil shaniqua on Spring break has any thoughts about my body.

    My Mama loves me, my boo loves me and my girls pick me up when I fall. Those are the opinions that matter. Life is too short for the BS. YOLO! lol…

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  • Cia

    I am definitely one who lets my body stop me from having fun once in a while. If I feel blah about my body I will stay in, I am not super big, between a 8/10, but I often feel self-conscious. It made me feel very happy to see Gabby, she looked beautiful and so confident. Doesn’t matter the size or place in life you can always be happy.

  • Queen Ki

    You better PREACH! This is something that needs to be BURNED into my memory banks because this is me in so many ways! I will say, I’m happy to announce that with God on my side, I’m getting better at accepting myself for the way I am NOW and the way I WILL be when I go in on my health–in a GOOD way, that is. xoxoxo

  • Carolyn

    I love this article. I have a 14 year old daughter that is almost 250lbs. Her self esteem is crazy!!! She loves herself and doesn’t have a problem wearing a swimsuit, whether it be a one piece or two. We follow Gabi’s blog and my daughter loves her style immensely. In an era where children are being bullied and killing themselves over “things”, body image should be the last thing we concern ourselves with!!!

  • Carolyn

    Love it! You are my hero!!!!!!!

  • stellaxo

    @ anon
    i can’t even have a discussion with you- it seems you’re taking trivial points out of my argument and attacking that. (i.e. i used an AA meeting as an EXAMPLE not in “reference to your writing”; my point was that your ATTITUDE towards people with different past/present struggles was wrong, nothing else.)

    image has always been relevant, but you would be silly if you thought it didn’t mean more these days than, say a decade or two ago- (as a small example: tanning, plastic surgery, and worries about cellulite and whitened teeth are all detailed issues that are more popular [and with the associated procedures, carry more risks that individuals are willing to take] among more women than before.)

    just as any other mental issue, its not that people don’t have other obligations that they are responsible for; sometimes these thoughts may consume that persons life, and that may lead to other problems down the line.
    and i’m not sure if someone in this comment board gave you their schedule noting how much time in a day or month or year they have spent thinking about their bodies, but SOMEONE has you convinced that it is a lot.
    whether it is or is not, the process of a) losing weight, and b) learning to accept and dress for your body type isn’t an overnight fix. at least it wasn’t for me.
    i tried a lot of things as a teenager (both healthy and borderline dangerous) and i wasn’t happy with my body until i changed my mindset.

    in a twisted way, behind the judgmental comments and attitude, i sincerely think that you’re trying to encourage people here, get them out of their rut, etc.
    but…
    i really don’t think its working.
    :)

  • Anon

    Okay. Between this and the other post, my question/s were answered. A lot of people who do blogging are probably more likely to have serious body image issues.

    I still say though —–>”if THIS is what is getting to you on a daily basis, your life is pretty good because there isn’t the worry for food, shelter, etc… and if you got aaaaaallllllllllllaaaaaaaa dis’ energy to worry about a fat roll, or how good someone else looks in a bathing suit, you just might need a hobby.”

  • starr

    Completely agree with the stretch marks. I lost the weight, but the stretch marks make me so self conscious.

  • Skinny people worry too

    I just wanted to thank you for such a wonderfully written and inspiring post. I suffer from an illness that makes it difficult for me to keep on weight, so I’m constantly worrying about what other people think of my noticeably thin frame. I’ve worn pants for the last several summers because I’m embarrassed for people to see my skinny legs — and this is in the sweltering south! While I can’t say I’ll run around tomorrow in shorts and a tank top, this does at least make me think twice about letting my fear of judgment hold me back from doing things I want to do like going swimming, playing sports, going to the beach, etc. Because as you astutely pointed out, there will always be haters out there who are going to be critical of other’s bodies no matter what. Heck, the tabloids criticize people with AMAZING bodies all the time, so there’s really no escaping it. Might as well be enjoying yourself and your life and leave them to their negativity. I’m just glad I have a body that enables me to do the things I love doing. It may not be perfect, but hey, it gets the job done :-)

  • Stanley

    If you’re not happy with your weight you can get a weight to make you happy. Just work on it!

  • Amy

    I shared this article with my 19 yr old daughter. I am much larger than I was at her age, and I still will throw on a 2 piece. She will not. Such a gorgeous girl to concern herself with those who wont date her due to size and not swim, etc due to her size. Just do it! So your not Playboy centerfold ready! Who really is?! Enjoy yourself and those who wrinkle their noses be damned. I may never come to terms with the way my body looks but today Im choosing not to let it hold me back.

  • LuvIt289

    @Chanela
    Honestly, I think you should try running. Thigh/leg issues can be helped by that type of exercise. Little by little and you should be ok.
    Your twenties is the best time to make amends to yourself in regards to weight.
    Be happy at any weight, but know you are in control also :-)

  • msyellarose

    I definitely feel with you. No one could pay me to put this tiny 93 lb. frame on display this summer. While it’s embarassing to me, I am so grateful that I am well now and am in pretty good health. I’d love to gain 20 lbs, but I can’t due to celiac disease. I get the funny looks and comments which make me feel self conscious, but when it happens I just smile and thank God that I’m still here and feeling fine! That takes the sting out of looking different.

  • Pat Vulture

    Gabi Gregg is HOTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!! Down with the haters!

  • Liryc

    I can relate. Right now I’m depressed about gaining the weight that I lost last summer, and I realize taht maintaining weight is the hardest thing to do. You can get the weight off but keeping it off is the hard part.

    Self love is hard when this society keeps reminding you that thin is in and everything else is wrong. Though everyone may want to believe that being a little bigger is ok, but its not because we always look at ourselves and make comments.

    I definitely need to do something about my weight.. so I can be size happy!

  • LittleMissCantBeWrong

    I wish I could wear a one piece, but my top is much heavier than my bottom. As a result, I have to wear a two piece bathing suit so I can have a proper fit. I usually stick with backless strapless tankinis.

  • chika

    i am about to share a long known secret with u – beauty is what u define it to be. Self confidence is d most important thing and it makes u look more beautiful. Try this simple experiment- next time you are out, wear something out of your comfort zone, something u won’t ordinarily wear becos of your insecurities but yo gals nd familly have said u look ok in, then hit d street, internally repeating d words ‘ I look hot’. Sooner than later, yo head will pop up, yo back straighten and your hands swingin like u own d world. Then u will be shocked to discover dat d looks ure gettin from all and sundry are those of admiration. No matter yo dress size, look clean, smell nice, do yo nails (not too long pls) and be generally well groomed, your confidence will skyrocket and people will be attracted to you. I am a size 16, and I have dated d hottest hunks and finally got married to one. Trust me gals, confidence and good grooming is d key. Ignore hollywood and magazine editors who are not in touch with realities. How many of them are actually enjoying there own bodies?

  • Nak

    You miss the point of the post. The idea is to stop hiding from the world because you are not what they want you to be. Should people work on getting fit? Of course, but that is a long, hard journey. Healthy weight loss doesn’t occur overnight. What should people do in the mean time? Stay in their house and wear moo moos for the next year and a half? Why shouldn’ they be allowed to enjoy their lives? Becuase society keeps telling them they are ugly, or disguising their disgust as concern for health.

    I completely agree with Gabi. This self-hate needs to stop. Stop feeling bad that you don’t look like your favorite model. Your time will come, but in the mean time, ENJOY this life. Go out and see the world, and let people see you in it. It could all end tomorrow, and how sad would it be if you had wasted so much of it waiting for the right moment.

  • Pamela

    I totally agree. I wonder where she purchased the swimsuit? I have a hard time trying to find suits as I need to purchase one size for the top and another for the bottom.

  • Pamela

    I am continually amazed that women are, more often than not, critical of other women. Which generally stems from low self esteem/confidence. Why do we continue to bash our sisters. If she feels beautiful and self confident then I applaud her! I think she looks fabulous.

  • lilly’s

    Hello , I’ve always been compared to other thin ladys , I have a really Difficult body shape to maintain, when I went through the comments and this women’s Article I actually had a few tears coming out , coz I thought I was the only one going through this difficult time..

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