Comments on: True Story: He’s Trying To Turn Me Into the ‘Come Over & Chill Girl’

By: Stop and think, then act

Stop and think, then act — Wed, 01 May 2013 01:39:44 +0000

I’ve never been on a come over and chill first date. I chill with my friends, I would never even consider going to the house of a man I barely know by myself. I have no desire to come up missing. That foolishness is dangerous.

By: Toni Mc.

Toni Mc. — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 16:36:50 +0000

I just said yes to coming and chilling smh, been talking on and off with this guy. We’re going to watch football and chill, SMDH, this is the first time we’re hanging out. Trust this is the first and last time I’m chilling with him, it’s boring and tiring. I did tell him, I will chill with him this time but next time we doing something different. I’m 24 and dating is hard, I don’t want to fall into the come over and chill girl routine. That just means he’s not going to put the time or engery into getting to know you. I can’t sell myself short, this is the last time for chilling. Either he takes me out next time or on to the next. What he won’t step up to do another man will. I see my downfall by not setting my standards. I’m not going through what I went through last year with dating. Thanks for the article it opened my eyes.

By: Kat

Kat — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 18:36:15 +0000

Narcissist! You sound like the man I just dumped. Always a justification for everything. I put up with not being a priority for him for quite awhile. And he made time to go out with his friends and never me so I bailed. When I asked about the going out to eat issue , a fight would breakout and his excuse was “exactly” like yours. You guys need to remember youre men not ladies. Most of you guys are acting like primadonna divas rather than gentlemen!

By: The Tip

The Tip — Sun, 22 Jul 2012 05:29:34 +0000

As a good man with a job, education, good looks, great conversation, Anon you sound really bad hell bent on not seeing any of the salient points that are being made. You have the type of vibe and spirit that turn good brothers off. This is constructive criticism so please don’t take this the wrong way as I’ve seen how you tend to react to someone with opposing views as you.

By: The Tip

The Tip — Sun, 22 Jul 2012 05:24:01 +0000

I also was thinking the same thing about her being cheap because a “dinner” was all it took to win her over. At least that was the impression that she has been giving off thus far.

-1

By: The Tip

The Tip — Sun, 22 Jul 2012 05:22:30 +0000

Wow…… Once again you responded like a champ brother. Nothing like an educated, grounded, and sensible dude to put loud and loose cannon type women in their place. And yes…….. we all have our place.

-2

By: The Tip

The Tip — Sun, 22 Jul 2012 05:11:24 +0000

Thank you so much brother for straightening this woman out. She clearly did not read your comments. The FACT is not every woman is worth the “chase”. The poor attitudes expressed on her, not to mention the lack of respect for men that I’ve read in this exchange prove that she is not worthy of my time, my money, my energy, nor my sex with such a negative argumentative attitude. Thank you brother for speaking on behalf of the millions of men that respect themselves and their money more than they do “impressing” certain types of women that aren’t it.

By: eccentricity84

eccentricity84 — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 22:01:52 +0000

@ The Truth- I don’t think you and the author are talking about the same kind of women… I would assume the women you’re referencing are down to get laid… How are you not closing the deal? I think she’s talking about women who are actually interested in a relationship..

By: sowandreapwealth

sowandreapwealth — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 21:49:44 +0000

The reason for all of this is not enough men raising these boys. So they resort to T.V. and “June Bug” on street on how to treat women.

My father taught how to court a women. He said a women will know within 15 minutes if she wants to have sex with you. So he told me just to focus on her…court her…tell her she’s beautiful…open the door for her…be strong, yet gentle…ask her all about her. If she wants to have sex with you either now or later, she will give it up without resistance and continuously do so as long as you are genuine in your courting.

If she never has sex with you, don’t be mad. At least when she dates other men she will instantly compare them against you because why…you catered to her.

I’m tryna help somebody today!

+11

By: Stanley

Stanley — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 06:11:19 +0000

@Anon and @Zaza
Does a man have to share your opinion in life to be a man? Why are you using shaming tactics for?

By: Stanley

Stanley — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 06:08:43 +0000

You nailed it!

-1

By: F78

F78 — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 11:39:48 +0000

RUSeriousBro-
You’ve got it right, but I can’t cop to denying myself the complexity of operating on different levels when it comes to dating and sex. If men don’t feel the need to lose this type of access by dating/sleeping with multiple women, why should women?
If anything, I KNOW that WHEN (I’m claiming it NOW) I am happy with someone who is ready, able and willing to take things to the next level relationship wise, all hooking up will cease. (I only have (safe!) sex with ONE person at a time. Period).
An important lesson I haven’t seen mentioned here is that once a man decides you’re a back pocket chick, he’s pretty much always gonna think of you that way. No matter what he says or does. This one can be difficult to accept, but is an invaluable lesson to be learned.

By: my_reply

my_reply — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 01:04:11 +0000

@motrenaissance – Woo! It sounds like you are saying since women are self sufficient and have premarital sex, they don’t deserve to be wined and dined. So you think since women have dropped the tradition of staying virgins, you should also stop doing traditional dates. Women have been having premarital sex for a LOOONG time in this country. It has been acceptable for a long time as well. Dates were still happening, you know why? Because people eventually want to settle down. Men interested in relationships still take women on dates. I know of white people still doing dates in the hookup culture. I know other countries with the same hookup culture where they are still going on dates. It says a lot about you that you don’t want to take a woman that you hope to be in a long term relationship on a date. You could do many things for FREE!

By: my_reply

my_reply — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 00:49:44 +0000

Also this sexually liberated woman changed everything excuse is so lame. Women aren’t trying to be like men. I seem to be getting that you all feel that women start having sex just because feminists said that women should have sex like men. Many men are trying to have sex with many women. Women aren’t trying to bang a lot of guys unless they have daddy issues. Most sexually active women start having sex because it is expected of them. They have to do it to compete. Many then enjoy it and continue on usually with guys they are dating. What’s the reward for being a virgin? You get overlooked by all these guys. They give their attention to all the “sexually liberated” women, and when he’s 35, the man whore decides to wife your spinster behind down. What a fairy tale!

By: my_reply

my_reply — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 00:39:26 +0000

@motrenaissance – Some guys are so lame these days. Men want sex. Now you get what you want, but you complain and can’t even take a girl on a date (not even a FREE one) even though she will give you what you want. You liars can pretend like you want virgins all you like. If a girl were to enter in your life that was a virgin she would reject your come over and chill request and you would go on to look for a sexually liberated woman.
Are you telling me that men would prefer if women waited until marriage to have sex? Would people start to get married earlier? No you liars would just sleep with the smaller pool of sexual women until 35 while all the spinsters yearn for male attention which is part of the reason premarital sex is so common.

By: Beeteam

Beeteam — Sat, 23 Jun 2012 23:49:47 +0000

The man I plan to marry in a few months was the first one in a long, long time to take me on real dates; I’d been so used to meeting online, choosing a neutral spot, and going over to chill that I didn’t even realize what was going on when he first called me and ultimately asked where I lived. I thought he was going to become a crazy stalker — he was trying to set up our first date and needed to know where to pick me up.

I love old school manners and I’d talked myself into thinking that didn’t exist anymore. But, it does; and it’s up to us to make sure men know from jump that we expect nothing less.

By: Velma

Velma — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 18:22:08 +0000

This happened to me. “Mayfield” and I had a great friendship and decided to take it to the next step. However, we both decided to keep it “relaxed and in his apartment”. This went on for months. So after a year I was relocating to the west coast and we agreed to keep in touch and we talked about taking it to the next step, engagement. Well, after I relocated, the calls slowed down and the letters slowed down. After about 4 months, I flew out to see him and he was acting so odd. I just came out and asked him what was wrong? He told me after much prompting that he was seeing someone else and that she was pregnant.

We ended it, or rather it ended itself with us. I have no regrets though, it was a lesson learned.

By: ReRe

ReRe — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 11:08:50 +0000

that’s the biggest line of bull i ever heard- why should a woman let some random stanger or casual aquaintence come and check out her home before she even knows him as a person
pulezze!

By: MissyPoo

MissyPoo — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 11:06:27 +0000

Women dont fall for the okie doke. If you are woman who likes to chill- then the come over and chill guy is a match- if you dont- RUN

By: Larry Wilson(拉里·威尔逊) (@TheLarryWilson)

Larry Wilson(拉里·威尔逊) (@TheLarryWilson) — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 05:33:39 +0000

Well, for me personally. My first date w/ my now fiance was LITERALLY a “Come Over And Chill” evening… Mainly b/c I was financially tapped paying bills. But being that I lived downtown we took a nice walk, listened to music, and chatted. She stayed the night I gave her some shorts for PJs and kept it real cool, giving her no more than a kiss on the cheek. I did want to smash, but she was special to me so I didn’t even attempt. You set the standards. Let No’s mean No and Yes’ mean Yes. We only do what you let us do.

Me personally, I didn’t like girls coming to my place anyway. If I was just trying to hit, I wasn’t gonna invite them to my spot. lol

-3

By: beautyinbaltimore

beautyinbaltimore — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 04:22:15 +0000

anon,

Honey you went to work all over this comment section. Girl put those foolish men straight trying to led young sisters astray.

By: Kam

Kam — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 03:53:20 +0000

There are other cultures that do not have the COAC mentality. Just sayin ladies. Don’t listen to the manipulators, it’s to their advantage to make you believe that COAC is the way to got.

By: damidwif

damidwif — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 00:48:04 +0000

I love to come over and chill. I wanna see your crib and how you handle biz at your place in your own domain. I wanna look at all your shit to see what you are willing to show me. And sure, if you are attractive, I probably wanna fcuk, and probably you want to also, else, why you have my arse in your house? We’re grown, right? Ain’t no shame.

If you don’t want me to come chill, maybe your arse is married or “living with your ex.” Bah.

After we do the come over and chill, then we can explore.

Like someone said already, things would go a lot more smoothly if both parties were honest about where they are right now and what they are seeking.

Besides, I can’t say I’m a fan of being out in public all the time. I’m pretty introverted and prefer very small, intimate settings. I can get very overwhelmed by various sights and sounds and it may be more of a distraction initially.

-2

By: motrenaissance

motrenaissance — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 18:39:10 +0000

But women want the POWER of MEN, the PRIVLEGE of being WOMAN who likes to be wined & dined, and the responsibility of NEITHER.

You can’t have it both ways. And in this hook up culture, women are going to HAVE to decide, because 95% of women will not be able to lock down the attractive alpha male for long-term commitment.

Attractive man’s whore vs. unattractive man’s wife or somewhere in between. You have to settle in some fashion or allow your eggs to rot.

The clock is ticking.

SSTTE

-3

By: motrenaissance

motrenaissance — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 18:37:52 +0000

Good Afternoon,

Note: I live in western society & this is for westernized men & women.

It seems like I need to take alot of this comment section (with the exception of a large few) to the school of the unrestricted s*xual marketplace.

For all you anti-COAC girls

Scenario 1 – If Trey Songz or Chris Brown (who have money, fame, looks, and a bad boy swag) ask you to come over & chill, you would tell them how traditional you are & and how you DEMAND to be courted? Ninja please. They are extreme examples but I am highlighting an attractive man of varying degrees

My point is, if a man is attractive enough, you will submit to whatever standards he sets. If you won’t get with the program, he is attractive enough to make another attractive woman get with the program. And may I remind you, ATTRACTIVE MEN are in short supply. Just like beautiful, hot ,s*xy women

I keep having to ask myself this question in 2012, are we operating as equals, or do gender roles reign supreme? The former is 90% in effect.

-3

By: motrenaissance

motrenaissance — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 18:36:35 +0000

Good Afternoon,

Note: I live in western society & this is for westernized men & women.

It seems like I need to take alot of this comment section (with the exception of a large few) to the school of the unrestricted s*xual marketplace.

For all you anti-COAC girls

I keep having to ask myself this question in 2012, are we operating as equals, or do gender roles reign supreme? The former is 90% in effect.

But women want the POWER of MEN, the PRIVLEGE of being WOMAN who likes to be wined & dined, and the responsibility of NEITHER.

You can’t have it both ways. And in this hook up culture, women are going to HAVE to decide, because 95% of women will not be able to lock down the attractive alpha male for long-term commitment.

Attractive man’s whore vs. unattractive man’s wife or somewhere in between. You have to settle in some fashion or allow your eggs to rot.

The clock is ticking.

SSTTE

-1

By: Ravi

Ravi — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 18:27:00 +0000

I’m glad I could provide some entertainment for you. That’s what it’s all about for me.

I think there are two aspects to what you are saying that need to be treated separately. First is the desire to want to be taken out and the second is to not have a guy trying to get in your pants. I think many of the previous comments have reflected a linking of coming over to hang out and a guy trying to get in their pants, but I think that’s probably the intention of most guys whether they go out or stay in. I would venture to say, quite a few guys are only putting forth effort and planning out dates just in order to get in that girls pants. I don’t know that many of the women here even have a problem with that and that’s what’s problematic to me. People don’t seem to have an issue with guys pursuing women solely as sexual conquests as long as they put forth some effort and possibly hide their intentions. In the past, I’ve invited girls over with no intentions on doing anything remotely physical. I’ve also done the whole effort thing with girls that put that out as a requirement to be physical. While I can certainly see that women would prefer guys to take them out and put forth effort, I don’t agree with degrading the men and women that prefer to just stay indoors and chill and enjoy each others company over going out and doing well-planned activities.

I also think it’s wrong to link genuine interest to desire to put forth effort. I’m not more likely to put forth effort for a girl that I have genuine interest in. If anything, effort is simply a hurdle to become intimate. To weed out guys with such interests, taking intimacy off the table seems to be a better way as opposed to just making him put forth effort.

By: motrenaissance

motrenaissance — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 18:12:59 +0000

@Are You Serious Bro

That was epic… I am not sure if I can follow up with something more entertaining & witty & informative

By: motrenaissance

motrenaissance — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 18:10:25 +0000

@The Truth

Great comment

By: Youwishyoucouldbeme

Youwishyoucouldbeme — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 17:59:30 +0000

Thank you Jane and Isis. I’m just kind of tired of these one-sided articles when real relationships take two to tango

By: StyleCollective

StyleCollective — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 17:01:23 +0000

I’ve really enjoyed reading this article and the comments (Ravi and anon I know you didn’t mean to, but you two have cracked me up. More importantly I actually I see where both of your frustrations lie in your debate with each other); I think you all make very valid points on this board. I’m pretty much an old married granny type long out of the dating scene, but I imagine that if I were out there, while hardly materialistic, I would expect the good old fashioned chivalry of dating in public places. Interestingly enough, through the years via my job I’ve eaten at more restaurants than I can count and am fine with my own cooking- so I’m not really a restaurant dater. Restaurants bore me to tears, and I’d likely be interested in something with a twist: may taking a cooking class together or attending a wine tasting or touring an artisan culinary establishment. I also loved some of the suggestions other readers had like making trips to the park, seeing live music together, etc.

At the end of the day what it would boil down to for me is whether or not the person was putting authentic effort and energy into setting up a meaningful time for us to get to know each other & enjoy interests. That doesn’t involve trying to get in my pants, and it doesn’t involve trying to “wow” me with an expensive meal. It simply needs to be a heartfelt gesture coming from a respectful place with good intentions, and willingness to try different things with a good attitude. Today a jazz fest, next week a park picnic, week after that let’s take our cameras, get on our mountain bikes and tour the countryside photographing landscapes together. We can go out to dinner, but I also like going to fine tea houses and sometimes just eating an exquisite dessert. Museum exhibitions are great, Theatre pieces are even better. There are so many things people can do to get to know one another, and the cost isn’t the most important aspect of the date for me. What I DO have to require is that the person has put real effort into it, because after all, isn’t that what a portion of this article is really about: feeling that you deserve proper attention, respectful wooing, and are not being taken for granted?

By: tight lipped mary

tight lipped mary — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 16:38:27 +0000

ita

By: Anon

Anon — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 14:54:07 +0000

Being overly familiar and free with terms like “busted_ _ _” says all I need to know.

REAL men are harder to find these days. There’s a lot of dudes out there. Catholics still seem to have it together though.

By: Anon

Anon — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 14:46:57 +0000

NO! That’s not what your 20′s are for! Your 20′s are for carefully screening men, establishing a career path, traveling, and planning and starting a family.

Don’t have this girl wasting years and time with foolishness.

By: GA

GA — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 13:21:07 +0000

LOL. corrections. I do not think anyone wants to go out every week, except for Diddy, Kim K, and other socialites. Like I do not know why the guys on this thread want to lump all men in one category. Of course there are men and women who just want to “chill.” But to say EVERYONE is chilling and you need to grow up or you are antiquatedif your not chilling is ridiculous.

By: lulu

lulu — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 11:06:23 +0000

ladies: there are plenty of free date ideas if a guy wants to get to know you, such as seeing a free local band, going to the park, going to the mall, volunteering, seeing a local sports team play, bike riding, ect..
if a guy doesnt want to be seen with you in public, either he thinks you’re not good enough for the public or he’s a gotta girlfriend or a wife, or he just wants to coe over and chill

By: Ravi

Ravi — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 11:02:29 +0000

touche.

-1

By: Are You Serious Bro

Are You Serious Bro — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 10:46:17 +0000

Observations and Notes from this Article and Comment Section:

1. If a guy, because you can’t call these types men, doesn’t want a relationship at all, and would rather sleep with you, then he is a little boy that needs to grow up.

2. Despite saying 1, some women will sleep with the chill guy if he plays his cards right.

3. Despite doing 2, the same women get confused when guys try to pull number 1. Let that marinate for a couple of minutes.

3. A lot of people on this site seem to have an overall negative view of the opposite gender.

4. Don’t let anyone make generalizations on you, but it is ok to do it to others.

5. Some people will never understand that others are on different places of the needs, wants, value continuum.

6. Men who use chilling for sex sessions only, are ruining my chances of playing NCAA Football 13 when it drops, instead of taking my girl to Dave & Busters that week.

7. Me saying that I don’t take my girl out to Dave & Busters every week, disqualifies me from being a real man :(

8. beautyinbaltimore has some funny one liners.

9. Ravi made some interesting points, but got caught up in the regulars antics. SMH

10. If a man doesn’t act the way a woman thinks he should, then something is wrong with him and he is probably just a little boy. You know cause a real man………

11. Women give men too much credit when it comes to how easy it is for them to find another. *Newsflash* the majority of men are not out here winning like that.

12. Will probably be reprimanded and sentenced for breaking the bro code, by typing number 11.

13. Ms. Information should be rebuked for saying “Death to Call of Duty”

14. Will probably get ripped for this, although it is meant to be lighthearted

15. Did somebody really get divorced because her husband wouldn’t take her to dinner without the kids. He must not have been a real man either.

16. A lot of the men and women that posted reek of entitlement.

17. If people just said what they wanted upfront, most of these situations would be avoided

18. Oh the irony of a poster named Reality making the most sense out everyone that posted.

19. I will never fully understand the logic of women who busted it wide open with a guy they don’t like, but move at snail like pace with the good guy they like and who respects them.

20 I wonder what are the odds that this comment will post without errors.

By: Isis

Isis — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 10:41:54 +0000

I agree with u too

By: Isis

Isis — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 10:35:52 +0000

I totally agree

By: Socially Maladjusted

Socially Maladjusted — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 10:29:15 +0000

So the wheels are spinning but the car’s still stuck in the mud. We aint moved off the spot we was on yesterday.

The woman aint settlin and the men aint caterin to women who don’t settle -

oh dear.

That’s what’s called an impasse (exotic-ish word coz I love wordology)

LOL!

Well personally, speaking for me coz I can’t speak for you, I do my best work in the IMPASSE coz that’s where all the best action is.

LMAO!

The End

-1

By: Older woman

Older woman — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 04:11:00 +0000

Dont feel bad Dianta….thats what your 20s are for. Make the mistakes now while you still have time. Just remember that the next time he knocks on your door.

By: beautyinbaltimore

beautyinbaltimore — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 04:10:10 +0000

Well I hope the guy made it worth your wild Dianta, did the guy at least perform well? Did he “lick it”?

At least with this article out, now you know the deal. Don’t let it happen to you again.

By: Dianta

Dianta — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 01:40:06 +0000

OMG!!! I am soooo embarrassed. I’m 20 y/o and I believe I just had my first “come over and chill moment” and I sincerely believed all he wanted to do was just “CHILL”. Last night, this guy that I’ve been friends with on FB for some time sparked a conversation with me out of the blue and literally used those exact words “Hey I’m bored, do want to come over and chill, we can watch a few movies?…” I was also a little bored and I didn’t see any harm in a few movies with someone that I’ve known for a long time. So naively, I got dressed and drove over. Similar to the author’s experience, I quickly found out that he was more interested in feeling me up than watching any movie. He started moving close to me, and the next thing I knew we were making out. It started to go a little far so I resisted, he persisted. I grabbed my keys and tried to get out of there, but the next thing I knew he took off his shirt, pulled my waist in towards his very awake “male friend”, then took my car keys out of my hand and threw it across the room. He said “you aren’t going anywhere tonight” in a very seductive rather than threatening tone. Ladies, I just melted on the spot. The next thing I knew we were upstairs in his bed doing more than sleeping… This morning I woke up feeling extremely guilty for allowing myself to cave in so easily to temptation, then I get on clutch just to catch up on what’s new and run across this article to late…shake my head. I wish this article had been posted prior to yesterday…but I guess this one of those “when you know better, you do better” moments. Now I know.

By: Dianta

Dianta — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 01:36:46 +0000

OMG!!! I am so embarrassed. I’m 20 y/o and I believe I just had my first “come over and chill moment” and I sincerely believed all he wanted to do was just “CHILL”. Last night, this guy that I’ve been friends with on FB for some time sparked a conversation with me out of the blue and literally used those exact words “Hey I’m bored, do want to come over and chill, we can watch a few movies?…” I was also a little bored and I didn’t see any harm in a few movies with someone that I’ve known for a long time. So naively, I got dressed and drove over. Similar to the author’s experience, I quickly found out that he was more interested in feeling me up than watching any movie. He started moving close to me, and the next thing I knew we were making out. It started to go a little far so I resisted, he persisted. I grabbed my keys and tried to haul ass out of there, but the next thing I knew he took off his shirt, pulled my waist in towards his very awake “male friend”, then took my car keys out of my hand and threw it across the room. He said “you aren’t going anywhere tonight” in a very seductive rather than threatening tone. Ladies, I just melted on the spot. The next thing I knew we were upstairs in his bed doing more than sleeping… This morning I woke up feeling extremely guilty for allowing myself to cave in so easily to temptation, then I get on clutch just to catch up on what’s new and I run across this article…shake my head. I wish this article had been posted prior to yesterday…but I guess this one of those “when you know better, you do better” moments. Now I know.

By: TheTruth

TheTruth — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 01:09:07 +0000

Traditional dating is slowly dying along with chilvary. And women killed both of them. Don’t get mad at us. Y’all are the ones who opened Pandora’s Box. Men just adapted to the changes women set in motion.

I hear women always bring up how back in the old days men were different, but they conveniently leave out the fact that women were much different back then too. If you want old school treatment then you have to be an old school lady.

In today’s world sex is much more easily accessible, so many guys don’t see the point in doing anything special to get it. And a lot of guys are skeptical about romancing a woman to get something that she probably gave to some other guy for free. I ain’t gonna wine and dine some chick just so she can call up Tyrone to come blow her back out after I dropped her off. To hell with that! And women WILL do that. They WILL let you spend all this time and money on them while they have a “play” buddy on speed dial who doesn’t have to do $hit except bone her real good……IF you let them do it. I ain’t falling for that mess.

By: Jane

Jane — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 00:12:23 +0000

I sat and read you comment because it is 100% true. Too many of these relationship articles fail to get to the real root of the problem — men are not living up to their end of the “bargain” these days. A lot of black men are unemployed and living off of women, or trying to get over in any way that they can. Until women finally learn to have happiness within themselves and avoid settling for a piece of a man, this type of thing will continue. I’m happy to say I’m finally over the dating nonsense and refuse to settle for anyone who isn’t reciprocating properly. I don’t care about his story. BYE!

By: Ann

Ann — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 23:32:52 +0000

I’ve never heard this in my whole life. Come and chill where? If you cheapen yourself it’s on your head. If a guy is serious about a long term relationship, he’ll do the right thing otherwise you can assure yourself all you are doing is childs play.

By: Ravi

Ravi — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 22:28:40 +0000

the thing about rats is they are everywhere. they tend to infiltrate many circles. I’m not the one worried about it; that’s my wealthy friends that need to root out the gold-diggers. While I’m certainly well off, I’m not a millionaire. My wealthy friends have millions and they are the ones that need to watch out. I do carry my own weight, that’s not the point. We are talking about carrying the woman’s weight; paying for her stuff. A woman with her own doesn’t need to have a man pay for everything and many of the women I know don’t have a man do so.

And where did I say I only get rejected? I get rejected a lot, but I also get a win every now and then. If you read everything I wrote (I know it’s hard) then you would have seen where I give multiple reasons for being rejected. Some of the girls don’t date black men. This has nothing to do with money. But the thing is, I’m not using my material things to get women. That’s my whole point. So of course they aren’t working in that regard. I’m not going to buy a woman, because the woman you end up with was bought (which makes her what?).

But once again, you do you. see how it works out for you.

By: Anon

Anon — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 22:11:38 +0000

“I’m sure you know all about that.” —-> I don’t have an MBA, but I am considering grad programs right now, thanks for asking though!

“doesn’t take much to spot the classless, money-hungry rats from a mile away.” —-> If you were in the right circles, they really wouldn’t be around you.

“In my experience, women that have their own tend not to have such a focus.” ——> In my experience, women who have their own are checking for men who can carry THEIR OWN weight and also be a provider. That is basic life planning right there.

“I’ll be chilling at the crib enjoying quality time with a woman not so focused on material things.”———-> So a few pages ago on this very post, on 3(?), you were saying that women do nothing but reject you all day long, even with a UVA JD/MBA. So I do hope that you are able to find that woman who is not focused on material things and no effort, because it looks like the “material things” aren’t really working in your favor to land anyone.