We Should Play a More Fair Blame Game
After reading the numerous comments on blogs about the situation with Dwyane Wade’s ex-wife Siohvaughn Funches-Wade violating her visitation rights with their two sons, I truly see that black women need to be fairer when it comes to playing the blame game.
Funches-Wade was supposed to get her sons to Wade’s sister’s home at 12p.m. on Saturday in order for them to board a 3p.m. flight back to Miami to be with their father for Father’s Day, according to TMZ.com. Funches-Wade didn’t drop off her sons at the agreed upon time and didn’t answer her phone when Wade’s sister tried to reach out to her. The sheriff was called and Funches-Wade was attempting to leave with one of the boys when he arrived at her home. She was arrested and charged with misdemeanor charges — two counts of attempted child abduction, two counts of unlawful visitation interference, and one count of resisting arrest. Wade is now requesting her visitation rights be taken away.
This woman has been proved unstable numerous times by the courts. Wade fought for custody of his kids and won. Instead of being praised for stepping up to the plate, he is being demonized because many don’t like the fact that he left his wife for Gabrielle Union. Honestly, who cares?! Because he left his wife, he doesn’t deserve to have custody of his children? His ex-wife is getting sympathy from women because she was left and they are making excuses for her wrongful actions. Many are still rooting for her to get full custody of their two sons despite the things she has done just because she is a woman. She is getting a pass for violating the law because she carried these boys for nine months each and therefore she should be granted full custody no matter how mentally unstable she is. When it comes to with whom children should live, all that should matter is that they are given to the parent who is better fit to care for them. Women are saying she deserves a break because she lost her family.
This kind of thing happens to men all the time, but no one is shedding a tear for them. We all know we live in a system that, more times than not, favors the mother in custody cases. Men are stripped of their families and have to fight even to see their children. No one says anything when women keep men from their children out of spite, but when a man wants to keep his children away from a mother who isn’t stable he is an asshole? If the roles were reversed Wade would get all the shade and people would say the courts made the right decision by taking his kids away from him.
It appears men just can’t win. The ones who don’t fight for custody are called deadbeats and creeps. The ones who do fight for custody and try to be in their children’s lives are called insensitive and just wrong for taking their kids away from the mother. Some may say Wade only received custody due to his high-profile status and income, but on the contrary there are many famous fathers whose unknown or less famous wives have custody of their child/ren. Royce Reed was granted custody of her son with Dwight Howard and this was before she came to mini fame through “Basketball Wives.” Other celebrities share custody of their children with their less known ex-counterparts. Mothers are almost always favored in this situation. If a mother was deemed unfit, I believe it was for a good reason.
If we are going to point the finger constantly at men when they are in the wrong, then we need to do the same with women. The way their marriage ended has nothing to do with who should receive custody of the children. A woman shouldn’t be given an out because she was left. Unfit is unfit … period. I am a mother and I love my son to death, but if I ever become unfit to care for him then let him be with someone who can until I can get myself together.
Sisterhood amongst black women is important, but the biggest part of being a sister is being able to admit when your sister is in the wrong. If a man violated his visitation rights and wouldn’t bring his children back to the mother, women would call for him to be put in a jail cell and the key be thrown away.
There are men out there who love their kids to death, but weren’t granted custody due to their financial status or other reasons. It hurts their hearts to be away from their children, but they still follow the law until they are able to get themselves together and fight for custody. We should be praying for Funches-Wade to get her life together instead of making excuses for her simply because she is a woman.
Sorry, I whole-heartedly disagree with this article. The author must not have children. When you carried a child in your womb for nine months and have it ripped from you to then be told that you can only visit that child as if you are a stranger….you then come back and tell me how that feels! To see someone that you’ve been with for that long cheat on you, leave you for a Hollywood startlet, and see that Hollywood starlet spend more time with your kids that YOU, the woman that gave birth to them, it would make any normally sane woman lash out or act irrationally. I don’t think Sio has mental problems….I think that her spirit is broken. Everything has been ripped from her. 1 of 3 things is gonna happen….she will seek help and hopefully become strong enough to overcome this situation, she’s going to hurt herself, or she is going to hurt someone else and end up on an episode of Snapped.
I agree, So many times I hear when a woman gets pregnant “unfortunately” she has to bear the burden of keeping and raising the child because she’s the one pregnant and that’s just the way it is. So why is it the right thing to do to fight fair when it come to a custody battle. I’m not saying a father doesn’t have the right to be in his child’s life..but don’t start advocating fairness when from conception the majority of the responsibility is always put on the woman.
And I don’t condone her craziness either.
yes!! agree!!
I Completely agree with the article and the author stated she has a son so she does have kids. Unfit is Unfit Period. People keep dwelling on the fact that he left her for Gabby SO FREAKING WHAT! Women get left everyday for people who are not famous. Your husband leaving you is no excuse for you to go bat crazy making false accusations, and go breaking the law. She broke the Law point blank! If the courts say have the boys back by 12pm have them back By 12pm! But no she chooses father’s day of all days to go vigilante and not obey court orders! Please, maybe she does have mental issues and I’m sure it hurts to see your ex husband happy while your still hurting but please move on! For the sake of your children at least! All you women agreeing with her must be bitter and hurt too. You don’t put your feelings before your children’s and she’s letting her bitterness and anger get in the way of her parenting and now those boys have to see their mom’s mug shot on the internet because she can’t accept the fact that this man doesn’t want her and is doing what’s best for his children. Crackheads can carry babies for 9 months but that doesn’t make them fit mothers…be real with yourselves ladies!
I have no idea who these people are but, if this woman is truly unstable she should NOT be the primary caretaker of these children and I would go so far as to say she should only have supervised visitation rights if she is mentally unstable. This idea that just because you gave birth to them that you should have full paternal rights, even if you can’t handle it is stupid and dangerous. This has nothing to do with her delicate sensibilities regarding her cheating husband or whoever else, this is about the protection of the children.
A GOOD mother would do what she needs to do in order to provide the best for her children, even if it meant she could not raise them.
And I would like to add a fourth option to your list: 4. She hurts herself AND her kids a la Mom who drove her kids into the Hudson. http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/04/13/us-drowning-family-idUSTRE73C4CH20110413
I Completely agree with the article and the author stated she has a son so she does have kids. Unfit is Unfit Period. People keep dwelling on the fact that he left her for Gabby SO FREAKING WHAT! Women get left everyday for people who are not famous. Your husband leaving you is no excuse for you to go bat crazy making false accusations, and go breaking the law. She broke the Law point blank! If the courts say have the boys back by 12pm have them back By 12pm! But no she chooses father’s day of all days to go vigilante and not obey court orders! Please, maybe she does have mental issues and I’m sure it hurts to see your ex husband happy while your still hurting but please move on! For the sake of your children at least! All you women agreeing with her must be bitter and hurt too. You don’t put your feelings before your children’s and she’s letting her bitterness and anger get in the way of her parenting and now those boys have to see their mom’s mug shot on the internet because she can’t accept the fact that this man doesn’t want her and is doing what’s best for his children. Crackheads can carry babies for 9 months but that doesn’t make them fit mothers…be real with yourselves ladies!
CO-SIGN!!! i read the article and had to scroll back up to look at the name to see if it was written by a man! I was like–this is utter rubbish. Dwayne probably has the best lawyers doing their best to make this woman out to be crazy and unstable. I’m an atorney–trust me, it’s possible. She was leaving when the police arrived—where was she headed? how is she supposed to flee with Dwaye Wade’s kids? I’m sorry–maybe she was a little late-maybe she missed her kids and needed an extra few hours. Child abduction?? Puh-leeze.
Comments like yours are probably the reason people think you are stupid. How are you going to comment on an article and not even read the article? She clearly said she has a son no children but a child. I’m embarrassed for you. In your case it is best to read the article in its entirety before commenting or let others comment first and then you can get an idea of what it is about and then comment.
@momo you must be blind or have selective reading because the author states that she has a son. You are short sighted. Do you think fathers enjoy seeing their children with the men their women left them for? NO! But that’s life. People move on and when children are involved they are bound to form a relationship with that person. Just because a women carries a child doesn’t mean that she loves the child any more or less than the father. There are some men who are just as messed up as her when they lose their families, but no one cares. Open your mind.
my only beef with this situation is him trying to take away her visitation rights…i mean damn the kids need and should see their mother no matter how horrible he THINKS she is..i mean if Dwayne is that concerned maybe reduce the visitation to supervised or something but to try and take away their kids completely from her is just wrong on so many levels…she isnt molesting or physically abusing them, she isnt on drugs from what i have read or an alcoholic..i see no need for the extreme measure of cutting her off from the kids completely
He didn’t remove visitation, she obviously can see them that’s why they were at her house…what are you people reading??? Now maybe he should remove visitation because he can avoids crazy episodes like this
wow @ROYALTEE what are YOU reading???? the article clearly states that Dwayne now plans to remove her visitation completely after this episode …it hasnt been done yet but that his planned next step and my response was to that planned course of action…with all due respect i believe YOU should read better
I don’t understand why people act like this woman is supposed to just forget that she no longer can see her kids on a daily basis. Yes, she had a hand in destroying her marriage but damn, seeing your kids on the beach with the woman who was supposedly the mistress has to hurt. It can’t be that easy to deal with. The entire situation is messed up. I hope somehow she can get some help and get her mind right for her children.
I agree with the article. D. Wade did not cheat her her with Gabrielle Union, they had seperated awhile before, but that is here nor there. His ex has been proved to be unstable. We all know the courts favor mothers in terms of custody, so for Wade to get custody of the kids they obviously have assessed his ex to be mentally and emotionally unstable to have full custody of the kids.
All she has to do is follow the rules. Britney Spears still doesn’t have custody of her children, but she complies with the terms set out. She is not the first woman to loose custody of her kids so stop justifying her nonsense. Just because she carried them for 9 months doesn’t mean she loves them more than D. Wade. People just need to llet him raise his kids and continue with their lives.