Comments on: We Should Play a More Fair Blame Game

By: Namor

Namor — Sun, 08 Jul 2012 02:47:02 +0000

Just because U carry a child doesn’t mean he or she is ALL yours. It takes 2 and the one with the stable mine should step up and take over if it is problems regarding a child’s well being involved; NO matter who carried the child. I am a woman and a mother and I do believe its a 50/50 thing in producing a child. He has just as much rights as she does and it is NOTHING wrong with him being the custodial parent. Let her take some time to get what she needs then as parents and 2 adults could reconsider their arrangements. And besides… They are boys and can use this time learning to do things as men. Too many women are raising boys these days and we all see the results of that in our communities.

By: SDL

SDL — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 00:49:41 +0000

I’m a little tired of people commenting on Wade’s status and celebrity. Despite the crappy situation of divorce, he very much tried to work out an amicable situation with his ex. She couldn’t handle it. Instead, she let her need for revenge and spite consume her. She has acted out. She has violated terms of their agreements. She has been less than a parent to those children. While her acts may irritate her ex-husband, they are having lasting, negative effects on her sons. And don’t say it’s the media that’s making her look bad. They’re getting their information from police reports, not tabloid photogs. D. Wade isn’t getting preferential treatment. He is getting the opportunity to provide a loving, stable environment for his children. His ex-wife has done very little in comparison.

By: SDL

SDL — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 00:38:19 +0000

You’re advocating for a woman, who on several occasions has shown her instability, to have custody of her kids??? Being a mother trumps all??? I have seen crackheads get custody over a man with financial stability and a loving home. I have witnessed bitter, evil, spiteful women with arrest records get custody of boys over the better-suited father with a clean rap sheet. Being a mother is the end-all be-all. Mothers don’t get a pass on being the custodial parent just because of birth.Parenting is a privilege not a right.

By: gmarie

gmarie — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 21:21:16 +0000

That is actually NOT what I’m saying at all. If she truly is off her rocker she did not just become this way overnight. He saw her as fit when they were together didn’t he? He had more than ONE child with her right?…Now why would you continue to expand your family with a women who is psycho and unfit? This reminds me of the whole Usher scenario all over again. Something here does not compute…

By: Yolanda Marie

Yolanda Marie — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 19:45:29 +0000

Loved the post and I agree. People are on here arguing that maybe Wade “did something” to her to make her crazy or that her losing her family made her crazy. Umm…some people just aren’t stable, period! Something doesn’t have to be done to them, they are just born that way and that may be why he left her ass. I don’t know anything about this woman but if the court found her unstable then that’s what it is. I don’t think it has anything to do with him being famous or having money because I personally know regular Joe-Blows with basic jobs who have custody of their children because the mother wasn’t right in the head. I also know men who are fighting for custody against resentful women who would rather make the man and their child suffer than to be civil. Taking Wade’s ex-wife’s wide simply because she’s a woman and a mother is ignorant because every woman doesn’t deserve the be a mother. Just because she carried children for 9 months doesn’t mean that makes her fit to be a parent; it just makes her a woman with a working reproductive system…there’s a HUGE difference.

By: motrenaissance

motrenaissance — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 19:27:13 +0000

AWESOME POST!!!

By: Lady G

Lady G — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 19:16:44 +0000

i think this whole thing is out of hand, but I also agree with EVERYTHING you’ve said in your post.
…
Fan Pissed That Upon Meeting Rapper 2 Chainz; He Was in Fact Only Wearing 1 Chain http://goo.gl/wlYoq …funniest thing i read all day

By: Jess

Jess — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 19:02:11 +0000

Well written. I agree completely.

By: Gordon Blu

Gordon Blu — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 18:26:30 +0000

“This kind of thing happens to men all the time, but no one is shedding a tear for them. We all know we live in a system that, more times than not, favors the mother in custody cases.” This happen to lots of men without the resources required to fight similar circumstances; along with the judgement from those around him that come along with that whole situation. Black men i particular face a system in which they hold no value as fathers at all but more as an unlimited resource to draw from.

By: MoMo

MoMo — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 15:44:54 +0000

Whatever to this article! Yes everyone is entitled to their opinion! But if you are a mother you will understand how difficult it is for a woman to be seperated from her kids. Especially for them to live in another city. If she was crazy before, that will definitely make her crazier! Because the media shows this woman as unstable doesn’t mean that’t the case. We all know how the internet is. I feel sorry for her cause only God knows what Wade did to her or what drove her there. She messed up but trying to take away visitation now is too much! FYI he probably won custody cause he has more money hence better lawyers! Both Dwayne and Gabbi always seemed superficial and mean to me

By: Lasette Charles

Lasette Charles — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 15:29:34 +0000

I totally agree with this comment…well said. This is how stereotypes begin and continue which dehumanizes and demoralizes women of color as a collective. We have to remember to think critically and choose our words wisely. Since we don’t know the factual story of these people’s lives, we should not make directed statements or blogs about these peoples’ personal lives regardless of their celebrity. Make the story more general and nuanced and you will still get readers to respond.

By: Alicia

Alicia — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 02:57:02 +0000

I am a long time reader, first time commenter. I was so shocked by the article that I had to comment.Now that we have addressed the issues of her sanity, her cheating and even going as low as discussing her alleged STD, let’s get to the point.

I don’t know what diseases she has or why that would factor into her parenting,all of this is conjecture anyway. What I do know is out of his mouth he stated when he had nowhere to go when he was a ten, she was there–he lived with her family (said in an interview before they divorced). All we forget that a parent–not a mother or father– loves their child.

No she should not flee with the children, but how be you fight against an adored millionaire? How do you reconcile relinquishing your right. I have read women up in arm saying what they would do for their children, jump in front of cars, beat an army down. Yes! This is the reaction of parent.

What makes her so different, realizing I don’t know her, is she is desperate and without her family.True or not, from outwards appearance she lost her husband and children to a beautiful celebrity. Have some compassion.
Remember his PR FAR exceeds hers…food for thought.

By: COCO

COCO — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 23:59:52 +0000

She needs help. Really, on fathers day was a stunt. I can only imagine how hard the
situation is but she dragged it on for years. She needs to seek therapy and move on. Britney doesn’t have her children but she isn’t acting a fool. Her entire life is going to be about this situation even if she does get custody.

By: Jinx Moneypenny

Jinx Moneypenny — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 23:39:20 +0000

This lady needs help. That much is obvious. She needed to be getting professional help anyway after Dwyane got custody of their children, point blank.

By: MEEKIE

MEEKIE — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 23:02:54 +0000

First of all lets not forget that she cheated, plus had an abortion, plus had the std, to those still stuck on his cheating. They was legally separated two years before him and union started dating. She seen that he was serious and she got bitter. Why not show out with the other women before gabby. SHE is the reason she lost custody. All she had to do is do the same thing with the visitation like he is doing with her, but no like so many women before her she got to be this bitter conniving female that when a man wants to be in his kids life they make it hard. We got to stop blaming the men that are handling business and giving these females a pass. like the saying goes, Any man can be a daddy, but a real man is a father. Any female with a uterus can have a baby that doesn’t make her a good mother. Just because you carry a child for 9 months doesn’t determine if you are stable. I hope she gets herself together cause if there is a next time somebody might get hurt, and it might be one of the boys. Plus who lets a “friend” smack your child on the back of the head. Not a real woman.

By: Diamantnoir

Diamantnoir — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 22:59:09 +0000

cosign 100%

By: Diamantnoir

Diamantnoir — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 22:46:08 +0000

Wow! Really? So your husband leaves you for another woman and that is an excuse to lose your focus as a mother? Take your hurt feelings to a therapist and be mom. Those kids will be adults one day so she needs to worry about how they will view her. I doubt they’ll be blaming Gabby for their mom’s problems.

By: Diamantnoir

Diamantnoir — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 22:25:45 +0000

@perspective2,
So what about women, like myself, who aren’t siding with the mother in this case? About half the comments support her and the other half support Dwayne Wade. The way I see it, the women who support the mother are only focusing on the mother and their bitter male/daddy issues, while the other commentors, like myself, have the childrens’ best interest at heart. Whether male or female, crazy is crazy and children should be with the parent that will allow them to grow up to be stable and happy adults. The mother in this case can’t do that.

By: opinionatedgal

opinionatedgal — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 22:22:10 +0000

Please do not make generalizations about “Black Women” based on what you’ve read on blogs. It’d be wiser to assume that some people who respond on blogs (especially some of the less tasteful blogs) are going to make remarks that are inappropriate. But please don’t start with an opening statement that “black women need to be fairer when it comes to playing the blame game”; it is an insult to the individuality of women of color and is an irresponsible and biased statement.

By: Diamantnoir

Diamantnoir — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 21:47:04 +0000

I always say that people don’t leave happy and stable marriages. Maybe she was unstable in their marriage and that might have led him to look for someone else. Dwayne has come off looking like a responsible adult in this situation so i’m not going to blame her mental issues on his cheating.

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 20:25:16 +0000

OKKK, logos, how did this turn into Black men vs. Black women? most of the comments here are talking bout the particulars of wade’s relationship withhis ex and the custody fight for his and her kids, which cuts across raciallines. Don’t try to make it like anyone is blaming all Black men just because Dwayne Wade happens to be a jackarse

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 20:22:43 +0000

OH PLZ. All the men that KILL their kids and spouses at a much HIGHER rate than women do, so you don’t need to cast stones about her being unfit or unstable. Maybe she was a little late returning the kids, sure, and maybe this other women coming to demand she give the kids irked her, but she didn’t cause any crime. Dwayne Wade verreacted and is a jerk. He also is writing bookd=s and letters to is kids as a power play strategy – trying to convince the court , and brainwash his kids, into demonizing his ex.

By: serene

serene — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 20:09:31 +0000

I honestly feel that she has let this situation drive her krazy. I don’t believe that Wade and Union only started dating after they were separated, but thats neither here nor there. Anyhoo, I think she’s let the whole drive her nuts. I’ve seen before. A woman I knew when from childhood, had it allll together, good job everything. The marriage went into the dumps because of infidelities and so did she. She lost everything, her job, her daughter, and was institutionalized for a bit. I still her on flatbush every now and then, conversing with herself…..told myself that no man could ever push me to that

By: Nicole

Nicole — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 19:59:10 +0000

The children should go with the more stable parents. If its him so be it!
If she’s unstable it doesn’t matter that she carried the children for nine months.

By: kenzy

kenzy — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 19:13:52 +0000

wow @ROYALTEE what are YOU reading???? the article clearly states that Dwayne now plans to remove her visitation completely after this episode …it hasnt been done yet but that his planned next step and my response was to that planned course of action…with all due respect i believe YOU should read better

By: S. J.

S. J. — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 18:27:11 +0000

As a man who has joint custody of my two biological two children and is raising two wonderful step children I find the authors take refreshing in that it at least offers the other side of the story.

I can’t speak for other men, but in my circle I don’t know any who aren’t actively involved in the lives of their children. Sometimes this is hard due to the unnecessary changes they have to go through when dealing with the custodial parent but as we are expected to do we just keep it moving and try to keep the drama at a minimum.

All situations are different but what’s best for the children should be the first and foremost consideration. In this situation it doesn’t sound like D-Wades wife is following this course.

As to the Gabrielle Union situation, what needs to be understood is that people don’t leave one person for another they leave relationships that are no longer whole or in some cases healthy. Who they end up with is not the reason for the deterioration of the original relationship. In other words, if things were tight with your significant other no one could put that asunder. Just sayin.

By: Nestafan2

Nestafan2 — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 18:03:30 +0000

You’re doing exactly what you’re accusing women of doing. No matter what, men will always come out squeaky clean Your anger and bitterness is consuming you. This is not about you.

By: Dee5287

Dee5287 — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 17:51:32 +0000

First off all, I think it is really time for his ex-wife to move on and let all the bitterness go, because at this point it looks like bitterness and anger for whatever reason.

The other thing that we all need to remember is if the shoe were on the other foot and she had custody and he failed to show up with the children at the right time we as women would have been angry and upset, especially if there was tension.
I do not know this women personally so I can’t speak on her mental state, but her behavior isn’t helping her at all.
The whole idea of them being abducted isn’t far fetched because it has happened before, case in point the DC sniper and his abduction of his children for a year and a half.

By: Tonton Michel

Tonton Michel — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 17:31:14 +0000

I feel bad for the kids for being used like pawns because of the inability of adults to be able to act like adults. I can only imagine how this impacts their views on women, relationships, and marriage. On another note the mother violated the rules to her visitation, if they take her rights away it is her own fault.

By: msbklyn

msbklyn — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 16:34:40 +0000

sorry didn’t know putting trust in your husband and marriage was not an intelligent move

By: Angelica J

Angelica J — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 16:29:06 +0000

The reason you are syh should relate to your reading comprehension not because of my statement. Let’s clarify, not once did I question the depth of a Father’s love. I witness that ever day. Now as a woman, I can relate to a mother’s love which is not to say a Father’s love for his children is any more or any less.

By: gmarie

gmarie — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 16:23:18 +0000

She seemed to have been taking care of them just fine before Gabby came into the picture? jussayin..

didn’t hear any complaints of craziness before

By: Love

Love — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 16:23:11 +0000

It seems a lot of women are projecting their own bitter feelings towards men onto this case between Wade and his ex. Half of us don’t know everything that went on between them so why all the strong opinions? What we do know, which was made public, she didn’t allow Wade to see his children during the time of their split. Why keep a man from his children because he hurt you??? So wrong! Then, chick couldn’t even pull herself together to attend court to make sure she got custody of her children. I think people need to really stop demonizing him for WANTING to father his children.

By: Jaslene

Jaslene — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 16:16:00 +0000

Comments like yours are probably the reason people think you are stupid. How are you going to comment on an article and not even read the article? She clearly said she has a son no children but a child. I’m embarrassed for you. In your case it is best to read the article in its entirety before commenting or let others comment first and then you can get an idea of what it is about and then comment.

By: Love

Love — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 16:13:48 +0000

I absolutely 10000% AGREE with this. It’s sad that people are acting as if they know exactly what went on in D Wade’s household. And yes, Shio has show NUMEROUS times that she isn’t doing what she needs to do to have custody of her children. If a woman can’t set aside a broken heart to make sure her children are under her care, then something is definitely wrong with her. Especially considering the fact that the courts almost always favor the woman. Black women, we need to stop acting like VICTIMS all the damn time!

By: arlette

arlette — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 16:04:52 +0000

“I do share concerns for the mother because I know the depth of a mother’s love.”
yeah because a fathers love aint as deep, smh.

By: BougieHippie

BougieHippie — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 16:02:24 +0000

Women always trying to use their womb as a bartering system.

By: arlette

arlette — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 15:59:25 +0000

Just coz I was born with a vagina and I can birth a child doesn’t mean that I will be a better parent than my partner or that I should automatically have more rights than him. I am sorry but it scary to think of how many women have this sense of entitlement. I don’t know about others here but I was raised by both of my parents and both of them played an equal role in my upbringing and both are equally as important.

By: S.

S. — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 15:58:48 +0000

Privilege: It’s Not Just for White Folks

By: Drew-Shane

Drew-Shane — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 15:38:07 +0000

CLASSIC! Love it.

By: Angelica J

Angelica J — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 15:23:48 +0000

I must admit as a mother of four (one biological and three step-children). I do share concerns for the mother because I know the depth of a mother’s love. So the problem I have is Wade revoking the mother’s visitation rights. I love my children dearly because I accept all four as mine. However, I would never wish for a child not to bond with or see his/her biological mother. Only Wade and the courts are aware of how intense her unstableness is so in order to prevent the situation from being worse, perhaps this is the best decision for the children.

I do commend Wade greatly for stepping up to the plate and I do agree that he should have full-custody of his children. This situation is clearly a mess. We don’t know all of the details in which we don’t suppose to. It is none of our business just as Wade’s personal business isn’t either. So really his decision to leave his wife for Gabby has no bearings on Wade being the better choice to raise his children. That was a personal decision based off spousal issues not child-rearing issue. By the visitation rights consisting of Wade’s sister being a mediator clearly exemplifies that the two-parents cannot mature to co-exist for the children. Now she is withholding them completely. So the courts should intervene again, but I do hope visitation rights aren’t revoked completely. As much as some of us don’t want this step to take place, it is appearing as if this is the best decision.

By: Please Believe

Please Believe — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 15:10:43 +0000

CO-SIGN!!! i read the article and had to scroll back up to look at the name to see if it was written by a man! I was like–this is utter rubbish. Dwayne probably has the best lawyers doing their best to make this woman out to be crazy and unstable. I’m an atorney–trust me, it’s possible. She was leaving when the police arrived—where was she headed? how is she supposed to flee with Dwaye Wade’s kids? I’m sorry–maybe she was a little late-maybe she missed her kids and needed an extra few hours. Child abduction?? Puh-leeze.

By: lostluv224

lostluv224 — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 15:00:03 +0000

She’s a nut & she just keeps showing it. With actions like that D. Wade wont have to do much convincing to cease her visitation rights.

Like someone said, she isn;t the first woman to have her children taken away. You gotta look at the bigger picture–the kids well being.

By: logos

logos — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 14:57:27 +0000

Black Men Bad / Black Woman Good

By: Nubianme

Nubianme — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 14:26:19 +0000

I Completely agree with the article and the author stated she has a son so she does have kids. Unfit is Unfit Period. People keep dwelling on the fact that he left her for Gabby SO FREAKING WHAT! Women get left everyday for people who are not famous. Your husband leaving you is no excuse for you to go bat crazy making false accusations, and go breaking the law. She broke the Law point blank! If the courts say have the boys back by 12pm have them back By 12pm! But no she chooses father’s day of all days to go vigilante and not obey court orders! Please, maybe she does have mental issues and I’m sure it hurts to see your ex husband happy while your still hurting but please move on! For the sake of your children at least! All you women agreeing with her must be bitter and hurt too. You don’t put your feelings before your children’s and she’s letting her bitterness and anger get in the way of her parenting and now those boys have to see their mom’s mug shot on the internet because she can’t accept the fact that this man doesn’t want her and is doing what’s best for his children. Crackheads can carry babies for 9 months but that doesn’t make them fit mothers…be real with yourselves ladies!

By: Royaltee

Royaltee — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 14:20:40 +0000

He didn’t remove visitation, she obviously can see them that’s why they were at her house…what are you people reading??? Now maybe he should remove visitation because he can avoids crazy episodes like this

By: LemonNLime

LemonNLime — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 14:20:27 +0000

I have no idea who these people are but, if this woman is truly unstable she should NOT be the primary caretaker of these children and I would go so far as to say she should only have supervised visitation rights if she is mentally unstable. This idea that just because you gave birth to them that you should have full paternal rights, even if you can’t handle it is stupid and dangerous. This has nothing to do with her delicate sensibilities regarding her cheating husband or whoever else, this is about the protection of the children.

A GOOD mother would do what she needs to do in order to provide the best for her children, even if it meant she could not raise them.

And I would like to add a fourth option to your list: 4. She hurts herself AND her kids a la Mom who drove her kids into the Hudson. http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/04/13/us-drowning-family-idUSTRE73C4CH20110413

By: Royaltee

Royaltee — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 14:18:04 +0000

By: jenna marie christian

jenna marie christian — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 14:14:16 +0000

yes!! agree!!

By: mamareese

mamareese — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 13:53:49 +0000

Let this woman see her kids. You are going to have kids the grow up resting you for not letting them get to know their mom. At least give them a chance to have that.