Brandy Should Know It’s OK to Judge Chris Brown

by Renee Martin

I have to be honest: When the news went viral that Chris Brown had beaten up his then-girlfriend Rihanna, I had no idea who either of them was.  Not being a fan of their genre of music, I actually had to look up their discography.  Over the coming months and years, as Brown went to trial and then completed his probation, I learned a lot more about him and the acceptance of gender-based violence in our society.

It all began when in various comment sections throughout the blogosphere, Brown’s violence was defended repeatedly because Rihanna had the audacity to look through his cell phone calls.  Rihanna was beaten, bitten, and blooded by this man.  The photos which were leaked to the public are absolutely horrific.  According to The Huffington Post, at the time Brown stated, “I’m going to beat the shit out of you when we get home” and “I’m really going to kill you.”  To be clear, this is a crime Brown admitted committing and because of which, he is now a convicted felon.

Brown has publicly apologized for his violent crime; however, his actions don’t read like he is sorry for anything.  He continues to be violent, as his rampage at the “Good Morning America” studios (after being asked about his crime) and his recent public brawl with Drake at a nightclub proves.  There is also the little matter of the tweet after winning a Grammy: “HATE ALL U WANT BECUZ I Got A Grammy Now! That’s the ultimate F@ck Off!

These are not the actions, nor the language, of a man attempting to take responsibility for his behavior and make amends.  These are the actions of a man who has been rewarded for his gender-based violence through awards, continued positive media attention, and, of course, record sales.  Every single song or album purchased emboldens the idea that what he did is not a big deal.  Is there anything a black man can do to black woman that we cannot find it in our hearts to forgive?

It does not help that celebrities are continually suggesting that Brown needs forgiveness.  Queen Latifah stated the following in support of Brown, following the 10th Annual BET Awards:

“He is young guy, he made a big mistake, and he needs to bounce back from that. And he needs an opportunity for a second chance,” she says. “We can’t condemn that kid. He’s a kid and he needs to correct the mistake for the future, not live in the past.”

“He needs to be forgiven. Enough already. We can’t keep beating him up. She [Rihanna] is going to grow, he’s going to grow, and we have to allow them both to do that.”

Last month, Brandy became yet another person to join the Brown forgiveness celebrity train when she stated:

“I just feel like everybody goes through things in their life, and it’s not my place or anybody’s place to judge. I just know that Chris is a fantastic artist and he’s always been supportive of me as an artist, and I just wanted to work with him because he’s great at what he does.”

Brown isn’t going through the ordinary trials and tribulations of being a human on our little blue planet, and perhaps Brandy would be more likely to admit this had she not collaborated with him on her single “Put it Down.” This endorsement sounds like someone who is trying to revive a flagging career no matter the cost.

Brandy and Queen Latifah certainly aren’t the only celebrities who have through their comments attempted to reinvent Brown into a troubled youth we should not judge and even forgive, but what makes their comments harmful is the fact that they are both black female celebrities. Time and time again we have seen intra-racial violence minimized or ignored, and this has everything to do with the fact that black women have historically been devalued.

Sexism is like any other ism; it depends upon the collusion of the oppressed for its continued power. When the few black women who are in a position of power feel it is in their best interests to ignore, or in this case, outright minimize acts of violence against women, it not only emboldens those who seek to keep us in a secondary status, but it also suggests that such ill treatment is either justified or normal.

There is a long history of ignoring or erasing intra-racial violence in the black community. In former Black Panther Party member Elaine Brown’s book, A Taste of Power,  she writes about being expected to ignore the misogyny and violence engaged in by the male members of the movement, because fighting racism was deemed the primary concern, proving that defending those who harm black women has always been historically and socially acceptable.

It was black women who led the crusade to defend R. Kelly when he was charged with child pornography, just as it is black women now speaking out in defense of an admittedly violent man today.  Standing by black men when they are attacked due to racism is one thing, but doing so when their actions have caused harm to black women and girls is another. The concerns of black women and black men absolutely diverge when it comes to tackling sexism and gender-based violence, because when it comes to gender, black men are in a position of power.  As bell hooks theorized, a black man may face racism in the public sphere, but he can always go home and beat his black wife, and this is a fact that we should not for a moment forget.

I would love to never have to write a single sentence about Chris Brown again, but I will continue to do so as long as there are pleas to move on and to forgive and forget.  Our treatment of this highly publicized incident is teaching young girls that this is what they can expect in a relationship as women.  It is teaching them to accept that it is natural for their bodies to be devalued and abused.  Don’t we as women owe our daughters more than this?  Should a smile and a few dimples so cheaply buy our solidarity, when what is at stake is our very humanity and right to life without violence? Bandy got a duo and made some money, but how many of us sell out for even less? It’s time to be Team Black Woman instead of Team Breezy.

  • kb

    Very pointed article. I am so glad to see this issue addressed. We are sending the wrong message to young Black women/girls. If Chris Brown was not the super-successful artist (popularity & dollar-wise) at the time he abused Rihanna, how much different would the outcry have been?

  • Echo

    Amen and amen. It boggles my mind how swiftly we as Black women will defend what we know is unacceptable behavior, be it by men in our personal lives or celebrities. There is nothing wrong with people expressing the belief that Chris Brown (or whomever else) deserves a second chance; but there is a huge difference between holding a person accountable for their actions and giving them a pass because “he’s a kid” or “he’s a brilliant artist”. What if, instead of lavishing an artist with praise and vehemently defending that person when they behave poorly, fans of that artist were to rally their voices to hold that artist accountable by letting the artist know they expect better, that they’re willing to stand with that person but they expect him or her to make a real effort to grow?

  • O’Phylia

    This, this, a thousand times this.
    I don’t understand why everyone and their mother is defending him. I know I’m the only person in the world who disliked him before he proved to the globe he was crazy, but I just honestly believes he has no talent. And if he did, he doesn’t deserve forgiveness because he’s not sorry. Plain and simple.
    And you’re absolutely right about black women being constantly devalued in society. Just read At the Dark End of the Street to get a historical context of how it happened. The worse part is that now we’re being devalued by black men and black women, ourselves, alike. It’s obvious that if he beat a white woman, there wouldn’t even be a discussion.

  • Iviante

    I’m A Young African American female .. I Understand Your Point Of View But Your Whole Point Of Saying That Young Girls Are Going To Get The Idea That That Is What Is Expected Of A Relationship Is A Assumption .. I Nor Any Of My Female Friends Expect that Nor Will We Tolerate It .. I’m A Big Chris Brown fan I Consider My Self TEAMBREEZY … But My Thing Is People keep saying he beat her Alright We Get It But You’re No One To Sit Here && Antagonize His Actions Nor Anyones Comments On People saying he needs To Be Forgiven .. Your Going To have Your Opinion && So Will Every One Else But You Seriously Need To Move On he beat Her He Apologized Numerous Of Times.. He Did Community Service && he’s Still Paying For It cause he’s Still On Probation .. Seriously Move On && Mind Your Business ..

  • Drea

    I believe that he was supposed to apologize and I also believe that he was supposed to be punished for what he did, and he has. What I don’t believe is that he has to pay for the rest of his life for one thing he did wrong. Look in the mirror, I know that you have done something wrong in your life. Should you be held back and only remembered for that one specific wrongdoing? Is that how you want to be judged and viewed fr the rest of your life. Just because some one forgives someone for what they have done does not mean that they condone what they did, it just means that they understand that a mistake was made and that the person has to move on from there. Now if he continues to make those same mistakes that is something totally different. But even then who are we to judge??????

  • Child, Please

    I agree with this article, however, I must point out that Brandy, having endured much public scathing after a car crash (which was later found not to be her fault) possibly doesn’t feel she’s in a position to judge. I’m not saying I agree with her (and I doubt she’s using him to reinvigorate her career; no one said that about the single she had with Monica), but that could very much be a reason. If she were to come out and smear him, I’m sure people would throw that in her face. I’m shocked Queen is defending him considering her pro-female respect anthems, but maybe she’s just in an element not to condemn. I will say this, I don’t think it is safe to generalize all black women and say they defend men such as Chris Brown; many of his fans are tweens (perhaps black) and some may very well be grown women who are on the prowl. I don’t think it’s fair to lump all black women into one category; that’s just not fair. I for one have been puzzled by the fact that Chris Brown has the gall to not realize that his actions speak louder than words. He just thinks his apology is enough and probably felt he shouldn’t be held accountable even in the court of law. Thank God there is a court of public opinion where cry fowls and give a d*mns exist!

  • Koko Lawrence

    I really dont get articles like this. It’s so unnecessary. What is it going to take for him to be “forgiven”? I believe he is truly sorry. It was a mistake. A horrible action on his part. Is he supposed to pay for this forever or be cookie cutter image of what everyone wants him to be? Goodness gracious! I am not a fan of his music whatsoever, but enough already. I would understand if he was a repeat offender, then wring his neck. Give him a chance to fix himself.

  • tremanema

    Brandy needs to think about forgiving herself for that manslaughter fiasco few years back, and for having an attention sloring brother that is a poor excuse of a black man. I personally do not listen to Chris Brown, but I will never support any man that hits a woman. It seems like there are far too many young black men that are emotionally, mentally and physically abusive to young black women. Unfortunately, a lot of these young girls do not have any respect for themselves either.
    The Chris-RiRi story always reminds me of Mike Tyson and Robin Givens. She was ostracized like none other, and by other black women. No one believed that crazy wilderbeast was beating on her. So what if she married him for money, does that give him the right to terrorize and beat her?
    I have grown tired of black people always focusing on minor details, instead of the big picture. Giving these fools a pass whenever they mess up. Too worried about Chris Brown making a mistake he should be forgiven for, instead of teaching our children not to disrespect women. Too worried about Baby Blue having a wide nose and big lips, instead of the celebration of black love, and the institution of marriage. To quick to talk smack about KimK, but don’t say nothing when you are getting weave extensions to look white, and shaking you’re half-naked, skin-whitening-slathered behind at the clubs. Too busy making youtube videos twerking, instead of educating ourselves about the HIV epidemic that is destroying our community. Too busy living beyond our means to buy Louboutins, instead of saving up for our children’s education… list goes on.
    My hard-earned money doesn’t go to any of these sorry excuses of men, women, TV, designers… list goes on.

  • black_feminist

    What have you seen or heard from Chris Brown to make you believe he is truly sorry or has ever fully taken responsibility for his actions?

  • FuckChrisBrownHaters

    Oh really? Still stuck in 2009, eh? Grow up and get over it. He made a mistake. Think about how he feels when that crap is brought up all the damn time. Ya’ll need to seriously get over this! of focus more on Charlie Sheen and all of the other WHITE celebrities who have done worse.

  • my_reply

    Yes. Look at what happened to Kanye when he drunkenly disrespected a blonde white girl. White folks weren’t having that.

    I think black women have some sick desire to be devalued and abused. They like being mules and being a “strong black woman.” They feel some sense of superiority to other women because they are strong and ride or die chicks.

    It’s what people have been doing for decades. Racist white people of course devalued and abused us. Black rappers have careers from devaluing us, and black women are just now getting sick of being disrespected left and right.

    There are people on this thread who think that just because Chris Breezy shed some crocodile tears, apologized, and picked up some trash he is reformed. Did this guy go to therapy or anything? I don’t know. For a lot of offenders, they don’t hold back because they have really reformed but because they know repeating the offense will be self-damaging. Mr. Breezy is keeping his hands to himself (not really with his tantrums and bar fights) because he knows what hitting a woman again might do to his career. These types of non-reformed but don’t want to go to jail offenders cannot be trusted.

  • gmarie

    Having been accused of murder and sued for a routine fender bender that she was not even the initiator of..I think Brandy knows a little about trials and tribulations as a person in the spotlight and under a microscope. She has good reason to feel the way she feels about Chris and his situation. Not understanding why she gets the headline for this article?

  • Enough with defending Chris Brown!

    I disagree with the comments that say we should consider how Chris Brown feels. Hello? Are you people here? He BEAT a Woman and we as the public got to see the results when they released those pictures. Why should be care about his feelings? Oh so he’s young and good looking let’s all give him a pass? The fact that he can not even discuss what happened when asked by the GMA team and throws a tantrum speaks volumes! If he has a team around him right? Why couldn’t they perpare for that question and come up with a B.S. answer instead of a tantrum? He was convicted…guilty of the act. Why do we have to tip toe around it? When a murder is committed no one is looking to make the murderer more comfortable right? This article is highlighting that when violence happens to Black women by Black men (epescially in this case high profile individuals) there tends to be a shield placed up against the male perpertrator. It’s great that Brandy and Queen Latifah feel they need to speak out in defense of Brown but where is thier solidarity with their sister Rhianna? What has Chris Brown done to prove that he has changed his stripes? Does he partake in anti-violence against women campaigns, wear the white ribbon? What I am getting at is if he was doing all things to show he was wrong and that he is trying to change publicly then I can see the validity of Brandy and Queen Latifah’s and other celebrity comments for us to kinda let it go. But he’s not! Instead he makes unnecessarily rude cocky comments on twitter, and shows aggression in clubs (ex fight with Drake incident).

  • http://www.bcouleur.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=629:hip-hop-vs-black-women-who-wins&catid=152:opinion&Itemid=544 bk chick

    @ O’phylia, trust you were not the only one who didn’t like him pre-fame. I never thought the dude was THAT talented..mediocre at best with potential…Even though it’s wrong, it would be more of a normal reaction for people to continue supporting him if he was super talented, like a Michael Jackson (cognitive dissonance)..but hes not..so the only conclusion to be drawn is not wanting to anger the “cute black guy”…a shame

  • Queen

    Great article. I completely agree with the author. I don’t care what happened, there’s nothing excusble about putting your hands on a woman. Period. And judging by his behavior he has major anger issues he has yet to deal with. I don’t understand what exactly are these celebrities defending..?! What, because he apologized publicly…Pleeeeassse.

  • Really? Move on people!

    Are people still talking/writing about this?? (2009 people). How would you feel if someone constantly kept on bringing up a past mistake that you made, physical or otherwise?? I am by no means saying what he did was right, because it was plain wrong. But if the woman herself has let it go and moved on…. so should you. There are more important things to be writing articles about (upcoming election, unemployment).

  • Natalie B.

    It amazes me when I hear of black women supporting this man. Domestic violence is a crime, and should have the stigma as such. Black women have been socialized to protect black men at any cost, even if the cost is their own well-being, and that is not only sad, it’s scary.

    It is not up to me to forgive Chris Brown. However, it is up to me to decide whether or not to support a perpetrator of violence against black women, and support male-identified black women that excuse this behavior, and I choose not to support either. I turn the channel, I don’t support their artistic endeavors and I don’t buy the products endorsed by these individuals.

    As a community we need to understand that forgiveness doesn’t negate the consequences that follow our actions, and sometimes that means having to deal with the stigma that follows poor choices and bad behavior. As black women we to start aligning our loyalty with those that have our best interest and well-being at heart. Anyone that commits domestic violence, or excuses that type of behavior does not.

  • QUEENBRIYA

    DAMN! The boy made a LIFE ALTERING MISTAKE! I bet all of you self righteous women posting comments have made mistakes! Would you want to be crucified over and over for it?!

  • Britt

    Too much self righteousness is going in this comment section. The only person that shoud forgive Chris Brown already has, and that’s Rihanna. Rihanna has said on numerous occasions that she was never a victim, and doesn’t want sympathy. You’re wasting your breath trying to make her out to be a victim, when she isn’t one. Instead, the focus should be on women who are affected by domestic violence on a daily basis. And let’s be honest, would you all really care about Chris Brown’s incident if it was another girl and not Rihanna?

  • http://www.bcouleur.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=629:hip-hop-vs-black-women-who-wins&catid=152:opinion&Itemid=544 bk chick

    If by “crucified” you mean making hit albums, performing at award shows, and being uber famous despite whatever wrong I’ve done….sign me up!

  • -A.

    It’s funny how we as people claim that we shouldn’t let our mistakes define us, but then turn around and attempt to define others by the very same. People grow, people change, and as inhumane as you think a person’s acts may be, you have to give them the room to break the pattern. I’ll never condone what this young man has done, but I can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for someone who just wants to move on. At the end of the day this is someone’s life. This is someone’s struggle. He’s still got a long way to go, and much like the family alcoholic, who goes to AA meetings and is haunted by the memory of drunken mishaps, its nothing short of cruel to throw it up in his face everytime he attempts to show he’s making progress. It’s not as if he’s out here beating the brakes off every girl he sees. He has anger issues. Yes. But who wouldn’t get angry all over again when people provoke you with the very pain you want to forget? Let him live…

  • http://www.facebook.com/amber.williams.9216 Amber Williams

    Damn…really Queen. I mean you made U.N.I.T.Y! That was such an empowering song about women fighting against being abused and disrespected. How you gonna say some mess like that. I miss 90′ Latifah. (I think I’m still sour about her not being in the Living Single reunion episode)

  • VDUB

    How many more years are we going to talk about this? I’m really sick of it. If you don’t like Chris Brown, don’t buy his music. When he performs at award shows, turn the channel. When his songs come on the radio, change the station. It’s as simple as that. Chris & Rihanna have moved on. Why can’t anyone else move on?

  • http://itsoftenbeensaid.wordpress.com Sasha

    You refer to yourself as a “female”, believe community service is an appropriate sentence for assault, used the word “antagonize” inappropriately and clearly do not know how to properly use ampersands…backtrack- I doubt you even know what one is. Please shut the hell up and attempt to grow at least half a brain.

  • Really?

    There are a lot of folks on here talking about how we need to get over what Chris Brown did and forgive him.

    Realize this–saying sorry doesn’t entitle a person to forgiveness.
    Saying sorry simple means he acknowledged that he did something awful. I don’t care if he says sorry 400 more times…that doesn’t mean I have to forgive him.

    He brutally beat somebody. If he wasn’t some cute little singer who girls wanted to screw and guys wanted to be like–many of you would be singing a different tune.

    If he was some regular negroe hanging out at Walmart you’d be talking about locking his a** up. It’s funny how someone’s wealth and so-called talent will change people’s perspective.

    But maybe we should forgive him. Clearly RiRi’s ignorant a** did. I guess that’s why she made two new songs with him. They can be the 2012 Ike and Tina Turner. Good grief. It’s just sickening.

  • Kam

    Why should we care about white people do? We should be looking at what’s best for us as Black people As stated above if this was some regular dude on the corner I doubt you’d have all the defense. You Chris Brown defenders need to grow up and open your eyes. What’s it gonna take? A clock to the face from Chris Brown? Ike Turner was villified for what he did to Tina. That’s when we actually had respect for Black women. You think someone is walking round talking about their on Team Ike Turner?

  • Kam

    So Team Breezy folks, you on Team Ike Turner too?

  • http://gravatar.com/ohyeaohyea Meme

    On a side note, that’ s a cute pic of Brandy.

  • feri

    I completely agree with everything in this article. The support he gets is embarrassing. and its almost like he demanded that support.

    Even after Rihanna forgave him and now that his sales are back up he put out a diss track basically calling her a wh*re. Shows his true colors… He didn’t care about what he did, all he cared about was his public image.

    ~signed an ex chris brown fan

  • http://ItsOftenbeensaid.wordpress.com Sasha

    I don’t think they’re on Team Ike so much as they are Team Retard and Proud. It’s as if the people who support him enjoy dysfunction. People make mistakes in life yes but none of the mistakes I’ve ever made have put anyone in a hospital or have left me a felon.

  • SS25

    Chris Brown is very childish. He has major anger issues that he needs to deal with. He almost killed rihanna, that to me is unforgivable. The judge should have given him jail time, followed by 10 years of therapy.

  • comment

    I wonder how many black men came out as #TeamBrandy to have her back when she went through what she went through?

  • comment

    so someone who got beat all in the head by a stronger man isn’t a victim? wow some of ya’ll are really messed up in the head. what if it were your daughter or niece? tell her to stop b–tchin and complaining, learn to take a punch? SMH

  • advocate

    What boggles my mind is how you people can be so passionate about an issue that doesn’t evolve you and happened years ago. We have so many issues in our society that needs attention, be you all want to harp on this issue when both parties are ready to move on. You’ll even want to hate on Rihanna for wanting to put it the incident behind her and move on just because you’ll aren’t ready to move on with yours. What Chris Brown did was wrong yes? Yes! Does he deserve to pay a price? Yes! I know now that many of you all are going to call me out saying I support a woman beater. Let’s get this straight, I don’t support him or his past actions at all, but there are too many issues we have going on in out society, country, and the world for me to continues us get riddled up and bash Chris Brown. I really hope you guys realize that you can forgive someone without condoning there actions. I know that some you must have had some close encounters with this issue, to have such a hard time forgiving someone that you never met. I hope you realize that carrying hatred for someone allows them to have control over you. If you really want give the middle finger to Chris Brown, then do like Rihanna and ignore him.

  • Kam

    It’s not just about Chris Brown, it’s about the whole entire mindset that surrounds this incident. His actions show that he is clearly not that sorry about it and has major anger issues, yet we are supposed to coddle him. Not to mention that very little sympathy was shown to Rihanna. But underlying this whole movement is the way we treat women and how no one really has the courage to speak out against it and say its wrong. When we do this we send the message that it’s ok to treat women like this and in fact this entire genre of music seems like it’s ok to devalue Black women. This has gone on for too long. What kind of message are we sending to our young women and men?

  • kamille

    That’s the thing about our society. Oh let’s “forgive and forget.” “Who are we to judge?” “We all make mistakes.” Yea, but I don’t beat and rape people, so that’s what gives me the clearance to judge people who do and righty so. If a white man rapes little girls and boys, we call him a pedophile and a rapist and makes sure that he registers as a sex offender to protect our young. Okay…aren’t we “judging him?” Aren’t we holding that against him for the rest of his life. What happened to “forgive and forget?”

    This is why “forgive and forget” doesn’t work when it comes to traumatic experiences in peoples’ lives. Simply because they were robbed of their psychological and emotional security. No one can erase that moment in which they experienced that trauma. That’s the thing about justice and judgment, it’s supposed to reconcile a traumatic experience or loss as recompense. To make the person whole again or at least attempt to do so.

    I can’t and won’t ask Trayvon’s parents to “forgive and forget” George Zimmerman’s actions. A murderer is a murderer. A rapist is a rapist. A beater is a beater is a beater. Point blank period. Some things are just too severe to wipe the slate clean. And as women, black women, trying to rid ourselves of misogyny and racism-we have to take clear stands against gender based violence.

    Because it’s not like it’s happening in little problems here and there in our society, it’s apart of a larger culture of misogyny that also involves an overarching rape culture where it’s okay to misuse and abuse women. It’s okay to cat call and make women feel like pieces of meat. It’s okay to make rape jokes at the expense of women’s fears and traumatic experiences. It’s okay to totally disregard the other half of the human population’s feelings because they’re not in power.

    Taking a vivid stand against gender based violence is taking a stand against rape culture.

  • Child, Please

    That is a good question! Sadly, probably very few, I’ve always loved Brandy, but somehow that bit of her life went over my head. I’d only been hearing about it a few years ago, so I perhaps would have felt for her not just for my fandom, but for the fact that she was all along innocent, which makes things worst: Brandy was found not at fault, Chris was and look where both of their careers are. They went completely different directions if you ask me.

  • Kojo

    Give him a chance to fix himself? It’s been, what, 3 or 4 years since that incident happened? And as far as anyone, even the Team Breezy fans can’t deny is that he has not shown in any way that he even cares. After the dozens of other celebrities that defended his actions, or even went as far as to insinuate that Rihanna deserved it, just gave him more fuel to believe that what he did was not a big deal. He’s gotten into numerous fights and thrown temper tantrums, and constantly cursing out his “haters”, as if people have no reason to dislike or lose respect for him.
    Rihanna and Chris are famous celebrities. Because that incident happened to them when they were still young, and was circulated worldwide, Chris Brown will always be known as a woman beater first. He needs to accept that. So honestly, he can get mad at all the “haters” who still judge him for his action, but what he did was so monumental at that time, he has no choice to accept that and shut the hell up.

  • 13

    People grow and people change definitely. But it’s been years since this incident has happened. YEARS. I’m not saying that he was supposed to change in a day, because old habits die hard, but have his actions thus far really conveyed that he’s even on his way of changing? Sure, he’s not beat a woman since…that we know of. But his actions speak so much louder than his words will ever say. Yes, I can see how it’s annoying for people to still bring it up to him, but seriously, can you really blame people?
    He’ll always be regarded as a woman beater, and because he’s a celebrity, it will follow him for the rest of his life, whether he likes it or not. And the fact that there are so many people that defend him, or even put the blame on Rihanna, just gives him even more reason to not care about what any of his “haters” say because there will always be a large crowd behind him, which is just unfathomable.
    The point is, if this was a regular black couple or even if this happened to a black woman close to you, you would NOT be giving the man a free pass like this.

  • Fuchsia

    Thank you! You took the words right out of my mouth.

  • Fuchsia

    Chris Brown not only physically beat Rihanna, but he famously beat the entire music industry. He has the Grammy to prove it. He gets the hottest collabos now more so than he did before the incident.

    American culture glorifies bad girls and bad boys. If someone is found innocent they lose their career, and if they are guilty they become the face of redemption.

    He will and has been forgiven, but the world will NEVER forget what he has done. What he did was make himself FAMOUS. It was a horrible way to get there but he isn’t the first person to sell his soul to gain the world, and he won’t be the last.

    All this support will be the cause of his undoing. Eventually he will reach the age where it will show if he indeed made the best of his second chance, and his fans will be all grown up and ready to forget him. Most people that are given second chances in our society end up self destructing. That’s the way the second chance system was built.

    Personally I’d rather forgive and wait for God to judge, but to each their own. I don’t agree with what he did but I have a father, a brother and a son, whom of which all have and will make mistakes. People have to live and work with Chris Brown regardless of what he did. They are the ones that are moving on. Despite what he says or does Chris Brown has to face himself in the mirror every day and there will always be strong opposing voices to remind him of what he is really famous for.

  • Flash

    There’s not much sympathy for Rihanna because she most probably started the altercation, they had a tussle …she ended up getting the worst of it simply put. Interestingly I wonder if it was CB who suffered the injuries would he be getting this much support…I strongly DOUBT it.

    Besides shes gotten over it, even making a song with C.Brown, people have moved on, the only ones dwelling on it are CB haters, who seemingly seem to look over every other domestic violence incidents involving celebs or not to focus on CB…Sad people.

  • -A.

    I’m not condoning what he’s done. I’ve said this. No free pass here. And if it should happen to someone close to me (as it has) of course I would be angry, but that would be grounds to keep my distance, not heckle him every chance I feel there’s nothing exciting going on. Which is what people do. I’ve been following their story for a long time and people won’t accept that he’d been forgiven and seem to find it preposterous that someone have the audacity to pick up the pieces and attempt to move on with their lives. At the end of the day, yes people will be people. But that doesn’t mean their actions/reactions are justified. We get it. Never forget. I’m sure no one has and neither has he. Neither has Rihanna. But she’s forgiven him. They’re both attempting to move past the darkness while much of media is still stirring the pot, attempting to define them by it. My sympathies extend to them both.

  • sharay

    #shotsfired!

  • CurlySue

    Why do people keep referring to him beating and biting Rihanna bloody as a “mistake”? A mistake is forgetting your mom’s birthday. No one “mistakenly” beats a woman like that. It was 100% intentional and deliberate. He’s a vicious and vain little bastard. He has an entire team hired solely to make him seem likeable and even they can’t pull it off. He oozes “assh*le”.

  • Oh Please

    When we try to excuse his behavior it does affect women who suffer from domestic violence because it sends the message that what he did was OK.

  • http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2012/07/brandy-should-know-its-okay-to-judge-chris-brown/ Gabo

    Making a domestic violence incident racial is more ignorant than the crime. Remember Sean Penn beating Madonna, Mickey Rourke beating Carre Otis,Flavio Briatore beating Naomi Campbell – does any of that define the White community or interracial romances.
    Why’s Brandy reprimanded for a collaboration while Jodie Foster & Kate Winslet do a movie with Roman Polanski, who raped a 13yr old girl, fled justice aren’t.
    An incident by CB @19yrs old doesn’t define any racial group just as Don Cornelius(late now) domestic violence at age 70 doesn’t.

  • whocares

    thank you. I’ve always thought this but you did a great job articulating it for me.

  • i see u

    YESS

  • Blu

    It’s really sad that so many of you have let the white media brainwash you into hating this man. What he did was wrong, very wrong. But he’s paid his debt to society like the law requires. But he has earned the right to make a living like any other individual. I think Chris Brown is immature and I not a big fan of his music but he has the right to confront is critics. When was the last time you heard about people dissing Nick Cage, Josh Brolin, Charlie Sheen or Glenn Campbell (all women batters)? So many of you are crying about respect for women, but where was the outrage at TMZ for releasing the picture of a domestic violence victim? There was ZERO! You want to know what this is teaching our young people? Retribution is not granted to everyone. If you make a mistake, people will never let you forget it. If you don’t want to support him, fine, but going out of your way to bash him and people who support him is stupid.

  • http://livefromthematrix.wordpress.com TAE

    wow so my comment didn’t make the cut even though I followed all the guidelines on that ridiculous comment moderation policy? I’m done.

  • That’smyname

    Uhm, I’m confused if the issue is that Chris Brown (an entertainer) abused Rihanna (an entertainer) or if black people are mad because it was THEIR BLACK SISTER Rihanna who was abused by THEIR BLACK BROTHER Chris, because from seeing some of the comments, I’m not for sure if this is the issue. As black people don’t seem to be as angry and unforgiving when it is ”just another black girl from down the street” who has been getting pounded by her black boyfriend. Black on black crime is nothing new in the black community but we lose our minds because a white man murdered one of our own (Trayvon Martin & Zimmerman) but where is the outrage for our brothers and sisters who are killing each other on a daily and in our own community(I’m not condoning either one of these incidents, I’m just saying think about it). This kind of relationships that black people have towards black people vs. other communities, reminds me of a child who will feel a sense of honor because they will defend their parents against anyone who disrespects them but will then turn around and disrespect their parents.

    On the other hand, we are to forgive and move on. I also know that Chris Brown obviously beat Rihanna before, he just happen to get caught that one time. Also, abusing someone is not a mistake that is an intentional action and usually abusers will do it again, so it is not a mistake.

    Not to say I support what Chris Brown did, because I don’t but all of this talk against those who support Chris Brown, We don’t know half of the things celebrities (that you support, listen to & or like) do in their private lives that we would be against, not support and that happen on a daily, it is Hollywood after all.

    Remember that no man or woman deserves to be abused and none of us know what actually happened that night. We only hear what the white media wants us to hear and know. I also think that people need to live their lives and stop acting as if celebrities are living for them, it is just weird how people are caught up in the lives of celebrities as if it were their own.

  • That’smyname

    Uhm, I’m confused if the issue is that Chris Brown (an entertainer) abused Rihanna (an entertainer) or if black people are mad because it was THEIR BLACK SISTER Rihanna who was abused by THEIR BLACK BROTHER Chris, because from seeing some of the comments, I’m not for sure if this is the issue. As black people don’t seem to be as angry and unforgiving when it is ”just another black girl from down the street” who has been getting pounded by her black boyfriend. Black on black crime is nothing new in the black community but we lose our minds because a white man murdered one of our own (Trayvon Martin & Zimmerman) but where is the outrage for our brothers and sisters who are killing each other on a daily and in our own community(I’m not condoning either one of these incidents, I’m just saying think about it). This kind of relationships that black people have towards black people vs. other communities, reminds me of a child who will feel a sense of honor because they will defend their parents against anyone who disrespects them but will then turn around and disrespect their parents.

    On the other hand, we are to forgive and move on. I also know that Chris Brown obviously beat Rihanna before, he just happen to get caught that one time. Also, abusing someone is not a mistake that is an intentional action and usually abusers will do it again, so it is not a mistake.

    Remember that no man or woman deserves to be abused and none of us know what actually happened that night. We only hear what the white media wants us to hear and know. I also think that people need to live their lives and stop acting as if celebrities are living for them, it is just weird how people are caught up in the lives of celebrities as if it were their own. Not to say I support what Chris Brown did, because I don’t but all of this talk against those who support Chris Brown, We don’t know half of the things celebrities (that you support, listen to & or like) do in their private lives that we would be against, not support and that happen on a daily, it is Hollywood after all.

  • That’smyname

    Uhm, I’m confused if the issue is that Chris Brown (an entertainer) abused Rihanna (an entertainer) or if black people are mad because it was THEIR BLACK SISTER Rihanna who was abused by THEIR BLACK BROTHER Chris, because from seeing some of the comments, I’m not for sure if this is the issue. As black people don’t seem to be as angry and unforgiving when it is ”just another black girl from down the street” who has been getting pounded by her black boyfriend. Black on black crime is nothing new in the black community but we lose our minds because a white man murdered one of our own (Trayvon Martin & Zimmerman) but where is the outrage for our brothers and sisters who are killing each other on a daily and in our own community(I’m not condoning either one of these incidents, I’m just saying think about it). This kind of relationships that black people have towards black people vs. other communities, reminds me of a child who will feel a sense of honor because they will defend their parents against anyone who disrespects them but will then turn around and disrespect their parents.

  • Alana S.

    Brandy has the right to have an opinion, but I don’t believe any God fearing person upon this earth has earned the right to JUDGE anyone. Do you think she wants to be constantly reminded about the fatal car accident she was involved in? I highly doubt it. I’m sure Brandy can relate to the scrutiny of the media and the benightedness of the public. I think that she is simply lending her support to a fellow peer that has been subjected to microscopic hypocrisies.

  • http://www.iolastar.com iolastar

    Exactly who are WE to judge because in the end we’re not the ALMIGHTY. Although we are physical beings with opinions…ok don’t forgive him, but who are you to tell Brandy who she should and shouldn’t be judging?

    I think you can forgive, but that doesn’t mean you ever have to forget. With some people everything is black and white..a rapist is a rapist, a murderer is a murderer. What if a woman defended herself against a rapist and killed him, well doesn’t that make her a murderer regardless? And according to those who look at things in black and white that’s exactly what she is.

    Don’t be so quick to call people and their situations out because you never ever know what type of situation you, your mother, brother, sister, or friend may end up in.

    Martin Luther King Jr. said, “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”

    Do I think Chris is the enemy, no he made a horrible mistake,
    he has community service, and yes he still has a whole lot of growing up to do. I think for many people that chose to forgive believe in something called redemption.

    Everyone is entitled to protest, turn the station, and voice their opinion but if you’re gonna protest Breezy you mind as well turn off the radio because a lot of artists are flawed, just like the rest of us, but our stuff ain’t put on blast.

    The debate will continue of course. The good thing that I love most of all is that we’re not afraid to use our voices and speak up for what we believe in.

  • Mary

    Opinions are like bottoms, everyone has one. Brandy and Queen Latifah are certainly entitled to their opinions.

    As a woman and as a sister and mother, I am not going to forget what Chris Brown did or R. Kelly or a whole host of other high profile black men have done to black women. I do not and will not buy music made by Chris or R. Kelly. I’ve had the opportunity to attend events hosted by Kobe Bryant and have declined the invites.

    I have turned many of these horrible experiences into ‘teachable moments’ for both of my daughters and my son. Girls need to know that they are deserving of love and respect and that love and respect come not from what is between their legs but what is in their brains and in their hearts. Love should not come with attachments such as a punch, kick or threat. Boys need to learn this lesson too.

    Forgiveness is not only for the victims of abuse but for the folks who suffered at the hands of these men. I hope that they do forgive and are able to heal and revel in the wonderful lives and talents that they have. I hope that forgiveness allows them to live and love to the fullest measure and give these victimizers one more iota of power or thought. They do not deserve either. I do hope that they do not forget and do not allow anyone to treat them badly in the future.

  • Alana S.

    I don’t know you, so I’m not familiar with your religious background. But no sin is any greater or lesser than another in God’s eyes. So I hope you don’t think that the differences in your transgressions make you any lesser or better of a person than Chris is.

  • israel journey

    Know wonder black men dont want yall all you do is bitch bitch bitch the white media is not demonizing him it’s hurt unwanted hell raising black women who are puting in the work.

  • bk_betty

    this comment is pure #ignorance
    we are black women and we are concerned about how black women are portrayed and what behavior is deemed acceptable. so it is our business, period. secondly, consider the dynamics of their relationship and everything that we do not know about that led up to the infamous beating in the car. that was not the first time she was beaten in that relationship. the people who are expressing concern here are standing up for women who will not or cannot stand up for themselves. we are unwilling to be treated like sh*t and demand to be loved in the healthiest ways possible. C. Breezy has never demonstrated that he understands how much damage his actions caused. he has not shown that he wants to evolve. we are constantly asked to “move on” even as he clearly still has anger management ISSUES. how about people, especially black women, stop making excuses for him? how about he make a PSA about intimate violence to educate other young black men? how about not dismissing our collective suffering? i guess we won’t be ready to have a real conversation until C. Breezy does the same thing again.

  • leezylove

    Omg, some people really need to read the bible, “judge not less Ye be judged.” The writer of this article must have experienced something similar because she comes off very bitter and seems like she needs to talk to a therapist. No one is saying what Chris did was okay, but God says to forgive and the celebrities that are commenting positively need not be scolded or talked about in a negative way just because the writer, Renee, feels a certain way about their comments and furthermore, its funny how people with little to no talent think that they know what the talented people’s careers are going, Brandy’s career is hardly “flagging.”

  • Pee N Cee

    When all is said and done, I agree Chris Brown did a horrible thing by beating up a woman, but I think the point is everyone deserves a second chance. As a black woman I am not saying I condone his behaviour but as a black woman I am saying lets try and move on. We cannot continue to judge him based on tht incident, he was found guilty, yes and he is still paying the price for his actions, but every time we see Brown we can’t be bringing up this story.

    Some reporters and news channels e.g Fox continue to bash Brown but don’t do the same for the likes of Charlie Sheen etc or other white celebs with checkered past, this is the reason why we as black people then become defensive over Brown. As a black woman I repeat, I don’t support Browns behaviour, but lets judge him, not bash him. There’s a difference between the 2.

  • http://www.rockmefabulous.com/ Mia Rodriguez

    No one says that they agree or condone with what Chris Brown did to Rihanna. I know I don’t condone any man: white, black, Latino, etc. to hit a woman. But even though I don’t condone it, I do believe in second chances. He is young and this was the first time he did something like this. There is still time for him to learn and grow from what he did.
    You talk about what forgiving him is saying to black women and young girls but no one is talking about what condemning him is doing to him and other young males that may be going through the same thing.

    We can’t continue bashing Chris Brown or any man that made a mistake. Yeah I admit it’s a horrible mistake and one that should have never happened but we can be the bigger person and forgive. What good is it doing anyone keeping all this hate and disgust for a person? If you don’t want to buy his albums and not let your children listen to his music then so be it. But don’t tell people they’re wrong for supporting him or forgiving him.

    I don’t like anything that Charlie Sheen has done from the drugs, domestic violence to having two ‘goddesses’ living in the same house with his kids but I will still watch old episodes of Two and a Half Men and enjoy it. The things he’s done in life does not and should not take away from the fact that he’s talented. The same should go for Chris. If Rihanna could find it in her heart to forgive him then when can’t the rest of us? I know I forgive and I support him.

  • http://www.opednews.com/articles/3/The-Chris--Rihanna-Saga--by-Hargrove-090316-286.html hargrove

    When *Diasporans are treated like everybody else, then we can be hard on them. If you can produce one white male celebrity, of the many who have been involved in domestic battery, who was convicted of a felony, for their first offense, then I’ll agree it’s fair game to use Chris Brown’s felony conviction against him.

    My take on the Chris and Rhianna saga follows:
    http://www.opednews.com/articles/3/The-Chris–Rihanna-Saga–by-Hargrove-090316-286.html

    *Diasporan: A descendant of a survivor of the African diaspora

  • Ramona

    This article is very pointed and much like all the others. Why do people constantly say that his violence is rewarded? The grammys don’t have a domestic violence category. His music, and his talent are awarded. Now, I’m not so much a fan of his work, or one of the impressionable young girls that tweeted months ago “he could beat me up any day” or anything of the sort. But, I can distinguish his violent actions from his talents. The nigga is talented, period. For me, his rewards and performances don’t erase the memory of that day, how horrified I was by the assault, and how unforgivable that was. I think that this would’ve been a more interesting read if you posed certain views and opinions that no other blogs have before, (or at least any that I’ve seen). One would be, “What should he do?” Should he resign from music, turn down awards and appearances? Also, every time I state that I agree that he shouldn’t be scrutinized any further, I get “What if she were your daughter?”. I respond with, “What if he were your son?” I don’t think that people are looking at the full scope of this, from both perspectives. I’m just trying to be progressive.

  • Ravi

    It seems as though people are confusing not judging in the Biblical sense and the common sense judgment of actions deemed unacceptable in a civilized society. While I’m all for not passing judgment on the soul of a mass murderer and serial rapist, it’s a bit much to think that they should be fully restored to their position in society after a slap on the wrist and a public apology. My capacity to forgive does not limit my desire to see proper penance paid for such egregious acts. I seriously doubt that too many of you would find fault in my arguing that a murderer should not simply be forgiven because he apologized and promised not to do it again. I’m also fairly sure that if some regular joe on the street was convicted of murder, and subsequently lost his job, not too many of you would come to his defense claiming that we should let bygones be bygones.

    It occurs to me that the reason many of the same people that defend Chris Brown would never defend a normal person if he committed murder, is because of his celebrity combined with the fact that they feel murder is a much more serious offense. And while I can buy that murder is more serious crime than battery, it seems to be sufficiently close that people wouldn’t be so quick to defend him. Unless of course beating the shit out of a black woman just isn’t that serious. My current working theory is that no one is coming to the defense of even Chris Brown if he does something serious enough. It’s just that beating a sista to the point of needing to be hospitalized doesn’t rank that high on the list of crimes.

    I’m all about forgiveness, but just as with a child molester, murderer, or rapist, Chris Brown’s crime is far too serious for us to simply restore him to his former position in society and celebrity.

    While I recognize that I’m far from perfect, there are certain things that I’ve never done. I’ve never murdered, raped, or beaten a woman bloody. And if I had done any of these things, I sure as hell wouldn’t expect to be forgiven just because I did probation and made a public apology. I would never tell anyone to get over it, and I wouldn’t dismiss the well-deserved anger over my action as people just being haters.

    People keep asking how long does he need to pay for his crimes. Some things you never live down. What he did to his girlfriend should follow him for the rest of his life just as assuredly as if he molested a small child. I’m not saying he should get a life sentence, but the loss of his celebrity and fans would be a good start. But then again, maybe what he did wasn’t that bad; not like he killed anyone, right….

  • Humanista

    I think that people would care a lot more if there were no celebrities involved, actually. I have no doubts that if it was Brandy’s best friend or Queen Latifah’s niece or something, that they would NOT be all “oh, it was just a mistake blah blah blah”. They would see a real problem with his initial offense, his breeze of a punishment and his subsequent violent outbursts. No one takes issue w/ the abuse because they don’t care about Rihanna on a personal level–we don’t know her right? She doesn’t even seem like she cares! I get it, she’s just an image to us, not a real individual…

    But this dialogue and its lack of empathy can truly impact our loved ones, and that’s what many fail to understand. I agree that it’s not our place to “forgive” him for the abuse; that’s the responsibility of his VICTIM. But I do think we need to tackle this dialogue because it affects what we actually care about: our own daughters, mothers and sisters and friends. I have 0 respect for the guy, but his atonement is not our problem. He hasn’t created his success since. The public has. He’s a symptom of the fact that WE tolerate this behavior from other human beings, period.

  • Humanista

    “It seems as though people are confusing not judging in the Biblical sense and the common sense judgment of actions deemed unacceptable in a civilized society.”

    Thank you for this.

  • Flash

    Why do people write about CB as if he is the ONLY celebrity to ever beat a woman????? —-> “Chris B crime is far too serious for us to simply restore him to his former position in society and celebrity” ….yet several celebs namely, Charlie Sheen, Jack Nicholson, Sean Penn, Mel Gibson, Axel Rose, Eminem, Michael Fassbender, Christian Bale, Tommy Lee etc etc etc have either been in an altercations, or charged with assault for beating their girlfriends/wives and NO ONE seems to care about that!!!!!!!

    CB was a teenager, those guys were grown men when they committed their assault, but their “former position in society and celebrity has been restored” to my knowledge they were never even harassed, or had it brought up in their face 24/7, they were given a pass hmmmm wonder why?.

    Even before the DV incident CB had a lot of haters, and now the incident has given the haters a legit reason to hate but its wearing thin now.

    Bottom line is CB is a young successful rich black man, everything that America hates, even worse in their eyes he’s beaten the “system” the media knows this so they use that to drum up a frenzy and build traffic to whatever media outlet chosen and people lap it up like sheep. But all its doing is making CB MORE famous and successful lol.

  • Ravi

    Your critique would make more sense if I were actually defending any of the people you named or my statements were even slightly dependent upon Chris Brown being the only celebrity to beat a woman. Did I say Chris Brown was the only woman beater? What part of my comments constitute my acting as if he were the only one? We are commenting on an article about Chris Brown. If you think that others should be held accountable for beating women, I’m right there with you. I had no knowledge that any of the aforementioned celebrities beat up women. And if it turns out to be true, then I won’t be supporting them or defending them against the well-deserved anger they might receive. I’m nothing if not consistent.

    Did you really think that pointing out some other woman abusers was a legitimate rationale for your support of Chris Brown? This is like when a kid gets caught doing something he knows is wrong and quickly points out, “well Johnny did it too” as if that somehow excuses his behavior. It wouldn’t be relevant if every celeb beat up women in terms of how effed up Chris Brown is. That just means that every celeb is as effed up as him and equally deserving of our scorn. Are we that loathe to take accountability and responsibility for our own actions that we have to resort to such deflections?

    Stating he is a successful black man isn’t relevant. He hasn’t beaten any system. He was convicted of a crime and sentenced accordingly. He’s also revealed his lack of character and shown just how wretched his fan base is for continuing to support him despite his deplorable actions. I wonder how supportive you would be of a young black man that did that to your sister or your daughter. Would you be so quick forgive and forget then? Maybe it’s not a big deal to you no matter whose sister or daughter is getting beat. Or maybe it’s all good as long as he sings well enough.

  • Flash

    That’s my whole point you and others wouldn’t know about those other celeb domestic violence incidents because you don’t give a rats ass about it, all you know and comment on is Chris Brown!!!!!

    The scorn from media and people like you is mostly saved for CB, period. I just believe if we are to punish woman beaters then lets get them ALL instead of cyber lynch mob focusing on one individual like a homing missile.

    And if a member of my family female OR male (as most people tend ignore men as DV victims as well) were to be assaulted provided that the perpetrator was punished accordingly, and was seeking to mend of his/hers ways and turn over a new leaf. I WOULD forgive maybe not forget, but what I WOULDN’T do is harass the individual every chance I get and constantly bring it up in their face.

    I don’t believe in holding onto hate because that doesn’t improve the quality of my life.

  • Flash

    Ravi wrote “Did you really think that pointing out some other woman abusers was a legitimate rationale for your support of Chris Brown? This is like when a kid gets caught doing something he knows is wrong and quickly points out, “well Johnny did it too” as if that somehow excuses his behavior”

    Thats like you and I involved in a group robbing a liquor store for example, we all get caught, we all get a slap on the wrist however I receive constant media/public hate, abuse and scorn whilst you and the rest slip through the way side and quietly move on with your life. Now whilst that doesn’t excuse my behaviour, you can be damn sure I WILL protest that I wasn’t the ONLY one involved to be solely targeted for hate. We obviously see things differently.

  • Ravi

    My not knowing isn’t a function of not caring. I don’t report the news. I don’t decide what the news outlets decide is worthy to report. If that was your point, then you don’t really have much of one. You don’t know what I give a rats ass about, nor do you know what I have commented about in the past. Any man that beats sends a woman to the hospital is scum that will equally receive my scorn. Had the news reported Christian Bale’s supposed woman beating and plastered pics of her battered face all over the web, then he wouldn’t be getting my support either.

    Scorn from people like me will be dealt out equally to any that commit such a heinous crime. The mystery is why your scorn is withheld from someone so deserving. What would he have to do in order to receive your disdain (clearly sending someone to the hospital is insufficient)? Had he murdered her, would that have been enough? What if he shot up a movie theater and killed a dozen people? What if he kills a million people? Is there anything this man can do that would result in you not supporting him? If there is, then my point is made. That beating up his girlfriend just wasn’t severe enough for people like you to really give a damn. Had he done something more severe, in your eyes, then you wouldn’t refer to it as hatred, but well deserved disdain.

    as far as being punished accordingly goes, that’s also part of the issue. Some of think that more than probation was accorded. His celebrity and money insured that his sentence was exceedingly light.

    I didn’t ask you about whether or not if you would harass someone that did this to one of your relatives. Harassment is not even at issue here. My questioning fans’ undying support of a woman beater is not harassment of Chris Brown. I asked if you would show such strong support. If Chris Brown beat the living shit out of your daughter and sent her to the hospital, would you support him as you are now doing and defend him against his detractors?

    no one is suggesting you hold onto hate. Having some semblance of a sense of justice isn’t hatred. Just because I want to see the guy that shot up the movie theater in jail for the rest of his life, doesn’t mean I hate him. I actually pity him, as I do Chris Brown and his poor deluded fans.

  • Ravi

    I actually agree with that analogy. In such a situation, my attention wouldn’t be set on defending the one person that received the scorn (not sure what abuse means to you, but how exactly was CB abused?), but in saying that all that commit such a crime receive a good amount of scorn.

  • Flash

    @Ravi – “That beating up his girlfriend just wasn’t severe enough for people like you to really give a damn”

    Lets be honest here…If the shoe was on the other foot and Rhianna put CB in hospital would YOU (or media) really give a damn?? Would your sense of “justice” still be the same?? hmmmm would your long essay’s even be written?? Who knows, I would show CB the same amount of disdain that I would show Rhianna if she were to hospitalise CB, but after 4 years she would get my support if she was trying to reform and move on with her life unlike people like you who can’t seem to let things go.

    I see that you need fancy pictures plastered over the web and media outlets telling you who to direct your scorn to, to form an opinion because you seem to be very ignorant to other celebs which have been reported in the news who have committed the same crimes if not worse, your main focus lies on….Chris Brown, which is wasted because the man is getting more famous and successful as you type.

    Constantly verbally attacking, judging and abusing which is what people are doing in this situation does amount to HATE, nothing more nothing less.

    And I already written a paragraph about my feelings towards the situation if a member of my family was put into that situation, read it again and try and understand it.

  • Ravi

    If we are being honest, I would not be defending anyone from public disdain if they put someone in the hospital — man or woman. I’m consistent that way. Notice how you sidestepped my question yet again. I’m asking about if it were a different crime like murder. I get that battery isn’t a big deal to you, no matter who the victim is. How about mass murder? would you defending him then?

    I don’t need fancy pictures, but some news coverage would be nice. most people that don’t go searching for the latest celeb beatings depend on silly things like the news to inform them of when something like this happens. CB was all over the news, Bale, not so much. Regardless, had I known about Bale’s alleged woman beating, then he would get the same lack of defense. I admit to lacking some knowledge of the offenses you speak of, which completely invalidates that particular argument. I would have to know about those offenses for it to be relevant to your claims. But, while I am quite aware of my ignorance in some small areas you seem to revel in your ignorance. You, yet again, make unfounded claims based on assumptions rooted in that ignorance. How would you know on what my main focus lies? Are assuming that because I responded to the topic of conversation, which happens to be CB, that this somehow dominates the focus of my discourse? Have you even bothered to check to see what else I make comments on or choose to focus on?

    Who is constantly verbally attacking, abusing, or judging CB? you still haven’t said what you mean by abuse. Common usage dictates that injury accompanies abuse. how was CB injured? In what way has anyone judged him beyond what we do with any felon? Is it judgment or abuse if you were not to call out the actions of George Zimmerman? Perhaps this is just your ignorance as to the meaning of the word “hate”?

    Yes, you did write a paragraph, but it never actually addressed my last question. Try to understand the question and craft a coherent response, so that people don’t have to repeat the question numerous times. This was the last question I asked and you never answered this:

    “If Chris Brown beat the living shit out of your daughter and sent her to the hospital, would you support him as you are now doing and defend him against his detractors?”

    you only mentioned you would forgive, but not forget, then went into a moot point about harassment. so your paragraph did not address this question. read it again, and try to understand it.

    As for CB getting more famous, that’s hardly relevant. His fame doesn’t affect me in the slightest. I just find it funny how blindly his stans will follow this felon regardless of what he does.

  • Flash

    You just admitted you didn’t know of the prior domestic violence incidents concerning other celebs, so your ignorance was showing. The media puts this CB issue constantly out there and like sheep people grab onto it whilst over looking the countless of other celebs that have been given a pass who have committed the same if not worse crime, this has been my whole point from day one.

    Hmmm so what other celebs have you focused on when it comes to domestic violence apart from…..Chris Brown…..dont worry since your on the net you have time to think and do a quick search to answer I guess ;-). Are you really that interested in domestic violence or just …Chris Brown??….since I accordingly to you don’t care about battery what have you done to help the situation? where have you directed your focus/help/comments onto in these matters apart from CB?

    I see that you have to go to the extreme mentioning mass murder to try prove some kind of point, yes justice should be served and perpetrator should be punished according to the law. George Zimmerman should have been reprimanded by the law, if he didn’t then I would have something to say.

    Just because I would forgive CB/Rhianna or anyone else after 4 years or more if either of them put each other in the hospital doesn’t mean I don’t care about battery. It just means I allow them to try and piece back their life together and hopefully go on to do more positive things. If they were repeat offenders then that’s different.

    “If Chris Brown beat the living shit out of your daughter and sent her to the hospital, would you support him as you are now doing and defend him against his detractors?”

    To be honest I don’t what I would do, whether I would forgive or support the perpetrator to better themself or feel pity, anger, hate sorrow etc you never really know in a situation like that until it happens to you. But there have been remarkable incidents off victims forgiving their offenders helping them to see the errors of their ways and so forth. Nelson Mandela being one of them.

  • Ravi

    As your ignorance was showing in your off-base assumptions. The difference being that you were making accusations based on your ignorance, while my admission of ignorance actually proved my point. In order for someone to be over looking the countless celebrities that have similarly gotten a slap on the wrist for crimes against women, they would have to have known about them. I could see if there was all this media coverage of Christian Bale beating up his girl and people subsequently ignored it. I’ve never seen such a story on the news, so I can’t be held accountable for a holding someone to something that I never knew they did.

    I haven’t focused on any celebs when it comes to violence against women, including Chris Brown. I merely wrote a post questioning the loyalty of his fans for doing something so egregious and expressing the fact that people don’t seem to take beating a woman all that seriously. My critique was more of the fans than CB. That point has still never been addressed by you. My original point was that you likely would not be supporting him if he were a mass murderer. If that is the case, then battering women is relatively less significant.

    As far as other celebs that I have mentioned at least as much as Chris Brown for violence against women — Ike Turner, Kobe Bryant, Ben Roethlisberger, and David Justice to name a few. my focus is less on celebrities and more on the epidemic of violence against women occurring world wide. I just agree with the author in terms of what this support of people like CB and R. Kelly says about us and how we feel about certain crimes and the celebrities that commit them.

    That wasn’t an extreme, that was my original point. The fact that you distinguish in your treatment of Zimmerman and CB was my point. The fact that you call the murder extreme in comparison to the battery further proves my point. I don’t deem a 2nd degree murder and the amount of disdain shown such a murderer to be all that different than battering women (domestic violence against men does exist, but it is not a large part of gender oppression. There is a power dynamic at play that you seem to be ignoring). If Zimmerman were to get probation and he was to label the people still calling for his head “haters,” I doubt that you would be coming to his defense like you are CB. I’m saying they are equally unworthy of anyone’s defense.

    Fair enough, it doesn’t mean that you don’t care about battery at all. But if you would treat a murderer or child molester any differently when it comes to defending him, then it does mean you take it less seriously than those offenses.

    I don’t have a daughter, but I have several nieces. I don’t need to be in that put in that position to know I wouldn’t be supporting him if people were publicly criticizing him. If any man were to put my niece in the hospital, he would never live that down in my eyes. That doesn’t mean I would hate him. You are presenting a false dichotomy of I either have to support him or I hate him. I don’t hate everyone I choose not to support. There is a middle ground. I don’t hate anyone. I’m not capable of it. But there are some things that you can never live down and that varies from person to person. For you, maybe that’s mass murder. For others, it might be child molesting. You can add battering women to that list for me.

  • Ravi

    If he were my son, I’d tell him to stop being a punk and be accountable for what he’s done. Own up to it, stop being defensive and expecting people to let it go. Recognize that you don’t deserve anyone’s forgiveness and that all you can ever do is try to keep paying penance in hopes that their vitriol will one day be diminished. but that’s just me.

  • really?

    Are you serious? White media didn’t brainwash not a damn thing for me. I equally dislike and don’t support Chris Brown, Nicholas Cage, Charlie Sheen, Josh Brolin, and Michael Fassbender.
    It’s really sad that so many black women are brainwashed to support abusive black men!

  • http://itsoftenbeensaid.wordpress.com Sasha A.

    Ravi, why do you bother responding to this person?

  • isolde3

    @ravi

    Yeah, I’m with “Sasha A.” I knew this flash person wasn’t too bright after this remark, upthread.

    “There’s not much sympathy for Rihanna because she most probably started the altercation, they had a tussle …she ended up getting the worst of it simply put.”

  • isolde3

    @leezy

    Well, no, Renee was right about Brandy’s career, but some things are better left unsaid. I don’t know when Brandy recorded PID with Brown, but maybe it was during his F.A.M.E. era when his career was on the up and up, cause right now, Chris is not the bizness. You can’t put much faith in Team Breezy supporting PID because of CB’s verse, not when the overwhelming majority of them aren’t supporting his music and letting most of singles and album flop. Fortune will be lucky to go gold. B-Rocka has been in Chris’ corner for some time now. Go watch Chris’ “Beautiful People” video. Brandy’s in it, hugging Chris and saying how proud she is of him. She probably put Breezy on the track cause they’re friends.

  • Anna Baker

    Here here! He will no get forgiveness from me! The half-assed NO-pology, the cockiness, the anger… Ugh! It’s disgusting. He’s only sorry he got caught. He needs his ASS WHOPPED. I’m sick of hearing “Oh he’s a kid, people make mistakes” and all that crap! He beat thHat girl til she was damn near unrecognizable. Then he threatened to kill her more than once. He does not need awards, fans or accolades-he needs therapy, prison time and a swift penitentiary beatdown. I, just like the author, was sickened at the support that welled out for this loser. The only person that stood up was Harvey Levin. He was actually honest about this whole situation being terrible and wrong. He even called out the celebrities that still offered Beezy (bitchy) support. I had a boyfriend try to beat be CB style IN MY OWN CAR! He ended up getting kicked out of it. I wish Rih could have done the same. I cannot for the life if me understand while she still pines for and works with him but I pray she wises up before it’s too late. That is NOT love. We are lovers,career women, students, mothers, nurturers and the family glue. NOT punching bags.

  • BD

    I would just like to point out that were all up in arms about Chris Brown (and rightly so), nobody is discussing the fact that Rihanna continues to go back to him. What kind of message is SHE sending. She is indeed the victim, but as a role model for young black women, her actions should also be examined

  • Flash

    Ravi wrote – “The fact that you call the murder extreme in comparison to the battery further proves my point. I don’t deem a 2nd degree murder and the amount of disdain shown such a murderer to be all that different than battering women (domestic violence against men does exist, but it is not a large part of gender oppression. There is a power dynamic at play that you seem to be ignoring”

    You see this is where me and you differ on opinion, yes I DON’T see domestic violence (battery) in the same league as murder, even child molestation or rape, and neither do the courts by the looks of it considering each of the latter offences I stated can get you a much harsher sentence – close to life in jail or the death penalty.

    Also judging from your post you seem to place higher priority to domestic violence against women worldwide as opposed to being against domestic violence in general, domestic violence is NOT gender specific but you choose to make it that way, DV is not one way, both parties are violent. Yes the stats may be higher for women suffering DV but it is widely known that men in DV situation suffer in silence being that there is a stigma attached, and it goes undetected far more – see Erin Prezzy for information.

    You casually sweep DV committed against men aside your reasoning being the “power dynamic” not realising women will use weapons (dick cut off and thrown in garbage disposal ring a bell) to even the odds, also VAWA primary aggressor laws in favour of women etc.

    If your main focus is on domestic violence against women over men constantly writing what I would do if my nieces, daughter, mother where put in hospital etc overlooking if my son, father etc where to be put in the same situation, then how can you berate me by placing murder at a higher priority than DV against women??

  • Ravi

    @Sasha

    There is always something to learn from dialogue with someone that doesn’t see things the same way as you do. It’s for my own edification.

    @Flash

    ” I DON’T see domestic violence (battery) in the same league as murder, even child molestation or rape”

    yes, I know. I’ve been maintaining that from my very first post. That was one of my main points.

    That’s not what I mean by power dynamic. I’m talking about the system of male domination and patriarchy that makes violence against women very different than the other way around. Domestic violence may happen both ways (quite disproportionately against women) but patriarchy is unidirectional.

  • Flash

    Ravi wrote: “yes, I know. I’ve been maintaining that from my very first post. That was one of my main points.”

    Ok? so what? does that make me a bad person or weak what are you trying to point out? The fact that I wouldn’t sentence a man or woman for committing DV to life in prison or grant them the death penalty as akin to murder. I don’t feel that is justifiable in a civilised society…sorry.

    There have been documentations explaining that DV is a learned pattern behaviour depending on what environment you have been brought up in, typically if come from a dysfunctional abusive family these traits may manifest worsened by drugs, alcohol, stress etc. Yes the perpetrators should be punished most definitely but anger management and help should be brought in as well for abusers and victims.

    My main points were that CB was constantly zoned in by the media/public and made out to be the poster kid for DV, whilst all these bigwig celeb hot-shots who have equally committed the same crime or worse are swanning around Hollywood right now embraced with open arms. And not a peep is said about their past, although this doesn’t excuse CB behaviour I don’t think that’s right. They should ALL get the same treatment. I think you can agree on this.

    My second point was that if the shoe was on the other foot and Rihanna had put CB in hospital would WE even be having this conversation, would you care? would that incident even be mentioned from the media 4 years ago, would Rihanna be constantly heckled… seems doubtful. You have already shown that despite DV not being gender specific and both parties suffer, you show your bias/prejudice in only focusing on DV against women worldwide. Are you really any different than the stans and the supporter of CB you dislike?

    Ravi wrote – “That’s not what I mean by power dynamic. I’m talking about the system of male domination and patriarchy that makes violence against women very different than the other way around.”

    What system of male domination and patriarchy that makes violence against women very different than the other way around do you write about? – The one where primary aggressor VAWA laws arrest the man no matter what the situation even if he was the one who was assaulted?
    The one where there have been several reports that male victims are turned away by female DV shelters simply for being male? Or the system where if a man defends himself from a violent woman he gets labelled a pussy, or if he takes the beating then he “must of deserved it”. Or the one where a man get laughed at on the show “the talk” for having his penis cut off and is generally the laughing stock off society if he gets maimed beaten or disfigured by a woman.

    Women do have higher stats for DV because it is more reported, where as men suffer in silence. There is also more resources, attention and sympathy given to female victims so if thats what you mean by male domination and patriarchy then you may be on the right track but if not care to explain.

    Also violence is violence, everyone experiences pain, no one should be put above each other if we are to live in a so called EQUAL society.

  • http://gravatar.com/triggerhappyvampire triggerhappyvampire

    I’d just like to point out that judging is not necessarily a bad thing. We make judgements every day, all the time. About EVERYTHING.

    And we humans have this ability for a good reason: to avoid harm. How can you possibly gauge a potentially dangerous situation, for example, if you have no ability to judge?

    This applies with people as well. And judging Chris Brown to be dangerous is not being overly harsh. It’s just the truth. He, and all men who do what he does, SHOULD be judged. What he did was unconscionable. Also? I’m judging the utter failure here to protect girls and women, to teach them that they are worth more. Instead, a choice is made to defend the one that does them harm?

  • cake211

    Drea’s comment doesn’t say anything about “forgiving and forgetting”, she’s saying the exact opposite. Obviously it wouldnt be right to carry on as if nothing ever happened, but on the same token, forgiving someone doesn’t mean defending their actions.

    Personally, I’m tired of the demonizing of Chris Brown. He clearly has problems, problems that are typical of adults who were raised in households where domestic abuse occurred. I won’t claim to know their motivations for defending Chris Brown, but I agree with those who do. NOTICE- I said defending Chris Brown, NOT defending his behavior. His behavior is an ugly atrocity.

    If we’re are really concerned about how his actions are affecting our youth, we need to talk to our youth about not getting into those kinds of relationships AND also encourage them to speak out when they see this kind of behavior among their friends. It’s not enough to make this a Chris Brown thing, his actions are apart of a bigger epidemic that happening in our families and homes.

  • Ravi

    “The fact that I wouldn’t sentence a man or woman for committing DV to life in prison or grant them the death penalty as akin to murder. I don’t feel that is justifiable in a civilised society…sorry.”

    you aren’t getting my point. I also stated in my very first post that I didn’t think domestic violence and murder were equal. It’s not a dichotomy; it’s a spectrum. I’m saying that they are a lot closer in my mind than in the minds of the defenders of CB. If it were something a lot closer on the spectrum of seriousness to murder, then people would not be supporting him like they are. Doesn’t make you a bad person per se. I would say that mentality helps to perpetuate the gender oppression that exists in this country.

    Most crime is learned behavior. That’s moot. If he were to have beaten her to death, that would have still been the case. being conditioned to be a criminal only does so much to mitigate your actions. If dysfunction and abuse don’t excuse murder, then they shouldn’t excuse DV.

    I agree that there shouldn’t be different treatment of CB and other celebs that do the same thing, but there are two ways to handle any differential treatment — ratchet up or ratchet down. You can treat CB like the other celebs, or you can treat the other celebs like CB. I choose the latter.

    I freely admit bias when it comes to DV, because it is something that disproportionately affects an oppressed population. I would show bias on almost any area of oppression in favor of the oppressed. The same with affirmative action. I recognize that because class accounts for a good deal of educational outcomes, there are a ton of disadvantaged white kids out there. I still support affirmative action because the achievement gap is a problem that disproportionately affects black students and is an artifact of white supremacy racial oppression.

    In a similar fashion, women are disproportionately affected by DV and it is a large part of gender oppression and male domination. If you aren’t aware of the system of male domination that exists in nearly every corner of the world, then I can’t help you. It would take far too long to bring you up to speed. Pointing to incidents that happen relatively infrequently aren’t significant enough to make a serious argument against the very well founded system of patriarchal dominance. That would be like saying there was no white supremacy because there was a white kid that got beat up by a gang of black students.

    The stats are based on estimates for both genders because DV goes largely unreported on both ends. How could you possibly know that DV against men is far less reported? What numbers do you have or are you just guessing here? Here are some of the stats I’m looking at:

    http://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/content/action_center/detail/754?gclid=CNymnKXutbECFYFo4Aodi3IA_A

    unless you can come up with some numbers from another source, then it’s kind of hard to make that argument.

    If the shoe were on the other foot we wouldn’t be having this conversation because no one would’ve been saying much about it at all. The reason I’m not like CB fans is that I wouldn’t have supported her if people were coming at her about beating him up. If you were to take her to task about any felony she has committed, I wouldn’t come to her defense talking about forgive and forget. That’s even the case when it comes to crimes that I don’t even care about. Violence against dogs is pretty low on my spectrum of seriousness, but I still never defended Michael Vick when people didn’t want him back in the NFL.

    I agree that violence is violence, and at times in my youth, I have found myself making similar arguments. I can see it both ways actually, but the primary concern when dealing with lines of oppression is equity not equality. What I mean by that is sameness isn’t the goal, but having a more equitable situation free of subjugation. I’m don’t have what constitutional law scholars would call an anti-discrimination stance. I have anti-subjugation leanings. To end subjugation you can’t treat people the same. In this case, it means prioritizing violence against women. I’m not saying that violence against men should be ignored or dismissed. I’m saying that violence against women is higher up on my seriousness spectrum.

  • http://orneno.tumblr.com/ Ms. Write

    I do agree that eventually Chris Brown should be forgiven, (like all human beings should)but that’s kinda hard to do when he is bent on showing the world that he is a complete and utter douche bag who has no remorse for his actions! What sickens me about the whole ordeal are the young women who blindly idolize and worship him at the same time bashing Rihanna. It’s problematic that we live in a society where after years of movements to end sexual and physical abuse against women that YOUNG girls can excuse that kind of behavior. It almost makes you think nothing has changed smh.

  • Flash

    Ravi wrote -”Most crime is learned behavior. That’s moot. If he were to have beaten her to death, that would have still been the case. being conditioned to be a criminal only does so much to mitigate your actions. If dysfunction and abuse don’t excuse murder, then they shouldn’t excuse DV.”

    But DV is not murder, you can’t co-join the two because they are not the same in terms of criminality and seriousness, there’s no way around that whatever spectrum you try to look at it, therefore murder (dysfunctional and abusive family or not) is dealt within a harsher manner from all walks of the globe resulting in the death penalty in certain countries DV doesn’t warrant that sort of punishment and the law would agree.

    Ravi wrote – “In a similar fashion, women are disproportionately affected by DV and it is a large part of gender oppression and male domination. If you aren’t aware of the system of male domination that exists in nearly every corner of the world, then I can’t help you. It would take far too long to bring you up to speed. Pointing to incidents that happen relatively infrequently aren’t significant enough to make a serious argument against the very well founded system of patriarchal dominance. That would be like saying there was no white supremacy because there was a white kid that got beat up by a gang of black students.”

    I see…so for example say if you was to get into a domestic dispute with your spouse it turned more confrontational, she proceeds to kick you full force in the testicles rupturing them. You are carted off to hospital in agony, but before you can get treatment the doctors/nurses tend to all female patients of DV before you because they take female patients more seriously and because they are the majority…right…I mean this is effectively what you writing and this is the EXACT way some domestic violence shelters operate turning away male victims.

    Ravi wrote – “That’s not what I mean by power dynamic. I’m talking about the system of male domination and patriarchy that makes violence against women very different than the other way around.” <—- Explain THIS statement, dont keep throwing up words like patriarchy and male dominance, gender oppression, without explaining exactly how patriarchy makes violence against "women very different than the other way around" pertaining to women in the western hemisphere. Violence is violence and domination can occur from either side in any relationship. I already illustrated the disadvantages that men face when they are confronted with DV which you just brushed over. What help/resources etc aren't female victims getting that makes there experience different to men?

    Ravi wrote – "The stats are based on estimates for both genders because DV goes largely unreported on both ends. How could you possibly know that DV against men is far less reported? What numbers do you have or are you just guessing here?"

    Your kidding right? you telling me you need a bunch of stats to tell you men will report DV less than women and suffer in silence because of the stigma attached of being seen as weak or ridiculed, don't you watch TV? read DV articles? or simply observe how society treats male DV victims? Since you probably wont take my word for it here's a few articles out of many pulled up within seconds explaining this very point…And you say I need to be brought up to speed!?

    http://www.clarkprosecutor.org/html/domviol/men.htm

    http://theawarenesscenter.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/domestic-violence-against-men-is-most.html

    http://www.dailyfinance.com/2010/01/30/a-hidden-crime-domestic-violence-against-men-is-a-growing-probl/

    Here some stats from UK where I'am from on DV from a website dedicated to spreading more awareness on DV involving men. I agree that women may face more DV than men not as disproportionally as you think, the averages would be closer if men reported more incidents.

    http://www.mankind.org.uk/pdfs/Statistics%20-%20Male%20Victims%20of%20Domestic%20Abuse%20(April%202010).pdf

    Something else to note in the stats is that the percentage of lesbian or bisexual women who suffer domestic abuse (17.3%) is nearly treble that of heterosexual/straight women (5.9%) this is a well documented fact, did you know this? does it matter to you? Or is this another crime you don't care about because men aren't the perpetrators?

    Ravi wrote "If the shoe were on the other foot we wouldn’t be having this conversation because no one would’ve been saying much about it at all."

    No s@*t Sherlock, that's my exact point.

    Ravi wrote – "I wouldn’t come to her defense talking about forgive and forget. That’s even the case when it comes to crimes that I don’t even care about. Violence against dogs is pretty low on my spectrum of seriousness, but I still never defended Michael Vick when people didn’t want him back in the NFL."

    You wouldn't provide any defence talking about forgive and forget, but you wouldn't speak out against it either, just ignore it right, kinda like how of white people know they have white privilege but don't speak out against, they just have your attitude, they just don't care. Funny how you accuse me of having the mentality of perpetuation gender oppression in your first paragraph whilst doing the same thing overlooking certain crimes.

    Ravi wrote – "I’m not saying that violence against men should be ignored or dismissed. I’m saying that violence against women is higher up on my seriousness spectrum."

    Sure, just like murder is higher on my "serious spectrum" than violence against women…problem??

  • http://gravatar.com/prxtence Salmon

    Oh stop with the calls for forgivenes & self-reflection (“haven’t you done something wrong?”… to answer your question I never busted my girlfriend’s head open over a text message), and Kumbaya warm fuzzy non-sense.

    It is absolutely warranted to scrutinize not only the violent incident itself & the perp (Chris Brown), but the patterns in how this event is understood and by whom. It leads a path to understanding male privilege & intimate partner violence esp. in communities of color.

    And for those of you who said he “paid his price”? Answer me this, does the law adequately protect Black women? He didn’t pay shit.

    And that whole “mind yours” rhetoric. Damn it, if this violent incident is a reflection of societal values (complacency with violence against women of color and a victim-blaming society) that I’m subsumed in, then g’damn it, it is my business. Maybe you need to bust open your eyelids and start minding yours.

  • PINOCHE

    The feeling is mutual!!! I, like many black women, don’t want black men, either. My man is a beautiful Latino. Black men, for the most part, are lost causes. SMDH

  • PINOCHE

    Spot on!!! This is why I don’t fool with black males. Batterers come in all colors, but black males not only have the highest domestic violence rates, they also happen to be the most violent woman beaters. Black Americans have the highest domestic violence rate in this country. There are a lot of angry, violent black male predators among us and the so called “African American” community babies, coddles, and enables them at the expense of black women, black children, and society as a whole.And black males wonder why they are racially profiled.It. isn’t rocket science,folks!!!

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