For as long as I can remember, I’ve been obsessed with my weight. I’ve never stepped over to the extreme side and become the girl who only ordered salad with light dressing while dining out or the annoying friend who asked if she looked fat every five minutes. I did, however, become the girl who experienced a bit of anxiety whenever my favorite pair of jeans seemed to be a little snug or, God forbid, I’d move up a size or two.

A few months ago, I relocated to New Orleans from Washington, D.C., and the good time I’ve had enjoying all my new food choices grows increasingly evident as my waistline spreads. But, who can say no to late-night runs to Café Du Monde for beignets or the occasional over indulgence in healthy portions of crawfish etouffee and po’ boy sandwiches? Oddly enough, though, my weight gain hasn’t bothered me as much it may have in the past.

I was completely devastated the first time I reached a double-digit dress size. It was the second semester of my freshman year in college, and I was a daunting size 10. Although I went to a historically black university where thicker girls were accepted and embraced, I personally didn’t feel content with how I looked and exercised to shed the pounds. Standing at a petite 5’1, I thought a smaller size better complemented my stature.

Fast-forward seven years later, and my views regarding weight are much more relaxed. I’m positive being immersed in Southern culture has influenced this change. Here, women with more hips, thicker thighs, and fuller bottoms constantly surround me and are praised for their curvaceous frames. At times, I have felt inferior and pressured to pick up a few pounds to attain a more voluptuous body and be seen as “desirable.” This has prompted me to kindly embrace my new-found extra padding and ponder just how much size, big or small, affects my self-esteem.

My best friend, Rachel, felt the same as I do now when her weight became a big issue in her dating life. “I’m now struggling to accept my physical appearance. Now that I’m skinny, I feel inadequate and insecure about my weight. I feel like I have to eat everything in sight to restore my previous weight, but I’m basically binge eating,” she explained. “I want to feel confident again no matter my weight. I also don’t want to attract men who only end up liking me for my size.”

Of course, health should be at the forefront of any conversation on weight standards, but how others perceive me and my level of attractiveness also plays a dominant role. As a 25-year-old, thoughts of marriage and appealing to a possible suitor are on the horizon. I want to be healthy, pleased with my own image, and able to turn heads of the opposite sex.

“I’d like to think of myself as an equal opportunist. I’ve always preferred conversation more than curves. But I do think the fact that I’m from the South allows me to appreciate a woman with a little meat on her bones to a higher degree,” said my close guy friend Allen. “I can have and have had fun with the 4s as well as the 14s, but given prior experiences, and as I think back, I’m probably more prone to lean toward the women who are size 14.”

My size is a big part of my life.  It always has been and I’m sure it will continue to be so. My current goal is to ensure that my obsession doesn’t turn into obesity as I find a happy medium between health and accepting my God-given curves.

 

  • Mademoiselle

    I was once told by someone close to me who had been gaining weight, that I should consider gaining weight for the benefit of a larger cup size. Sometimes groupthink precludes people from seeing the ridiculousness behind their statements. Surround yourself with enough large people, and you’ll eventually be the one sticking out like a sore thumb, and the object of the “you sure are different” jokes (Mo’Nique’s ‘skinny b*tches’ catch phrase comes to mind). Don’t fall for it. You know better.

  • Ravi

    Size 14 isn’t thick or curvy for the most part. It’s just big. Nothing wrong with liking big women like your friend Allen, but I’m thinking that’s not the mode anywhere you go. Family and friends I know in the south like curvy and thick girls just like they do in Detroit, where I’m from. Such women encompass a wide array of dress sizes, but probably center around 6 or so.

  • Mademoiselle

    What an irrelevant analogy. Who is trying to emulate anything KK does?

  • http://AirInDanYell.tumblr.com Erin

    I’ve noticed that the more weight I put back on, the more attention I get from men. When I was in college I lost a good amount of weight, and was on the slim side for my height, but I enjoyed being fit and toned. Now that I’ve been out of school, eating not as good as I should anymore and not working out as much as I used to, I’ve began to “thicken up” again, and men love it. I love food, but I enjoy working out more. My thin friends always tell me that men compliment them on their beauty, but would like them more if they put on some weight… Guess men actually do like something soft to hold on to?

  • emme

    Keep your health as the priority because the extra cushion and the beautiful curves are great for now but when you cant shed the extra weight and it starts to affect your joints, stamina, and overall health then its not so cute and fun anymore.

  • Devra

    The key is to be healthy. My step daughter is a big girl. But teaching her how to eat healthy and exercise and be a part of activities that require movement, will help her be a confident young lady, while losing weight (size 24 now). Her mom was 6’3 and over 300 lbs (size 28). Growing up, I was a skinny girl (size 8 on top, 7 a the bottom) with a big chest. I have a better body now (in my 40′s) than I did then, but fitness is still key. My husband has no complaints and even worried at one point that I might get too skinny. I’m a size 16 on top, 14 on the bottom. I like my size-she will get the same message from me.

  • Laugh

    No one can say what’s the perfect size for anyone else. As long as you excercize and your cholesterol, heart, blood pressure and all those things we can’t see are in order then carry on.

  • Dani

    I think it’s important that no matter what size a woman is, she should remain healthy. Loving yourself and embracing your size are also necessary to ones self esteem and confidence.

  • shadow

    +1 @ emme

    Your health should ALWAYS be first and foremost. I’m in my 40′s & I have many friends/family members that were “thick”, “curvy”, and got compliments for days from many men when we were in our 20′s & 30′s. Sad to say alot of them didn’t keep health in mind, working out and eating right as we aged. Some are now on blood pressure meds and some have had knee surgery. They are winded when they walk and have back issues. Those beautiful curves are now fat and flab. Embrace the curves, but find a way to keep it healthy!

  • jamesfrmphilly

    fruits, nuts, grains and vegetables…..

  • Chrissy

    Gaining or shedding Pounds for male attention should never be the focus. Only do so for yourself and tor health. A guy will like one thing one day and another thing tomorrow. If he is truly for you he will like and appreciate you no matter your size.

  • Jasmine

    Being in a place like New Orleans will change your mind. I’m originally from Oakland, Ca and spent 7 yrs living in DC. But, living in NOLA has totally changed my views because a majority of the women here have some kind of thickness to them. I’m not saying I’m trying to be a size 14, I’m actually only a full size 6 which is a lot larger than what I was prior and I’m okay with that. I’m okay with embracing my new size.

  • Ashley

    I think your surroundings have a lot to do with your self body image. I moved to Los Angeles about two years ago and have found myself more obsessed with my weight than ever before. Some may not agree but LA is known to be a superficial city. I would consider myself somewhat “thick” so it’s refreshing now when I travel to Southern states to see women with bodies more similar to mine. At the end of the day the most important thing is to be healthy and confident in whatever shape/size you are but your living and social settings definitely play apart in how people feel about their weight.

  • Jasmine

    I’m only a full size 6, I don’t plan on letting it get out of hand. What has changed is my ability to enjoy myself with a little more meat on my bones than I was previously comfortable with.

  • Jasmine

    Male attention isn’t even half of the equation here. Health, of course, is at the forefront of my concerns. I’m not getting fat or unhealthy, I’m just accepting myself with a few more pounds. And, if that happens to turns some heads…I’m not mad.

  • Ashley

    I think your surroundings have a lot to do with your self body image. I moved to Los Angeles about two years ago and have found myself more obsessed with my weight than ever before. Some may not agree but LA is known to be a superficial city. I would consider myself somewhat “thick” so it’s refreshing now when I travel to Southern states to see women with bodies more similar to mine. At the end of the day the most important thing is to be healthy and confident in whatever shape/size you are but people’s  living and social settings definitely play apart in how they feel about their weight.

  • Mademoiselle

    What’s the difference between a *full size 6 and a size 6?

  • Jasmine

    Lol, the fact that I’ll probably be a size 8 soon.

  • my_reply

    I think 6, 8, 10 is okay and this is probably what black men mean when they say they want a thick woman. 6-10 is a woman with meat on her bones. Look at the black women considered beautiful in the entertainment industry. They are slender or curvy not packing rolls around the middle. I think they mean Beyonce or Tyra Banks not Monique. I am slender and like the slender look of sizes 2 and 4. I would never gain weight to be thick. It would probably not go where I want it to go anyway. I do want to beef up my chicken legs though, but I’m happy with everything else. Halle Berry has a great curvy body and is still slender. Black men think she’s fine.

  • Jasmin

    Unfortunately, black men have encouraged too many of us to eat our way to an unhealthy weight in the name of being “thick”. As we age, that thickness doesn’t look so good and also leads to all kinds of health issues. In my mother’s day, virtually ALL of her friends were slim. There wasn’t a thicky among them. They didn’t gain weight as they aged, either. Poor diets, using food as an emotional crutch, lack of portion control and lack of proper exercise have left us the most obese women In the U.S.

    On a side note, an awful lot of the brothas I see who have crossed over to dating/ marrying white women are with slender, definitely non-thick white women. Don’t listen to what men SAY. Watch what they DO.

    I’m happy to be married to a Brotha who is slim and healthy and likes me that way, too.

  • TT

    There’s a difference between fat and curvy. People often interchange those words. There’s nothing wrong with being curvy. Curvy meaning maybe you have a bigger bust or butt with a slim waist. There’s nothing wrong with being at the higher end of your weight range. But health should be the most important thing.

  • http://tontonmichel.tumblr.com/ Tonton Michel

    lol

  • Ravi

    I know quite a few young black men as I’ve spent many years as a teacher and coach. I have yet to meet one that prefers fat women. Almost invariably, their tastes are dictated by pop culture, music videos, hip hop, movies, etc.

  • Ravi

    While I haven’t lived in New Orleans, much of my family is from all over the south, including Louisiana. I’m thinking that you may have run into a few guys that like really big women and overgeneralized this to the entire population. I seriously doubt there is any place in this nation that idealizes a size 14. Size 14 is pretty big. The thickest of video girls isn’t close to a size 14. Guys want a big butt and legs not a big waist. Men in NOLA aren’t preferring a body like Mo’Nique over Bria Myles.

  • Amber

    Let me just say that I am a size 14 and I am not “just big”. Also a size 14 is not “pretty big”. What size 14 women have you seen? Your view seems a little skewed towards smaller women anyway so I would guess that perhaps 14 does look simply “fat” to you but i can assure you that is not the case.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    Which part of New Orleans do you resided because being born and raise here mostly I see are women who need to put the folk down and talk a walk in city park. I do think the south in general have a feel of less judgement in terms of body appearance compared to other places because we look at food as not only fuel but pleasure and enjoyment as well so when you pack on a few lbs than it isn’t a big deal just means you are eating well..lol but some people take eating well and turn it into eating too much making the obesity stats high in the south. True any location can have an impact on your body and how you view yourself but watch out because you can pick up bad habits and get to comfortable and before you know it look like a lot of the locals and hitting up simply fashion.

  • Ravi

    While you are trying to personalize this, I never suggested what my own preferences might be. I’m dealing with preferences of guys in general not idealizing a size 14 and the meaning of the words “thick” and “curvy.”

    While there may be some outliers, the typical size 14 woman does not have a small waist. I’ve seen plenty of size 14 women in my time and I’ve seen plenty of thick and curvy women. They usually aren’t the same woman. I never said a size 14 looks “fat,” but it isn’t the ideal. What size 14 women have you seen that are the ideal for any population of men in this country?

  • my_reply

    @Ravi -Right? I’m from the South, and the 2s, 4s, and 6s have no problem attracting men. And a lot of the “thick” women in the South are thick around the middle too. I imagine men want women that look like those video girls. That’s a size 6-10 usually. I think women in the South simply overeat then when they get to a size 16, they still want to call themselves thick. The black men I know like women who look like Beyonce. Beyonce is not in the double digits.

  • au napptural

    Weight is weird and guys are weird too. I’m was a naturally super skinny girl, a double zero before they made them. Guys expressed limited interest- they said I was pretty but that was as far as it went. I filled out in college to a 4 or 6. A bit more interest.

    Last fall I gained weight quickly b/c I no longer had time to exercise and took to eating junk. I was a thick-ish 8 (and I’m 5’7). Guys, black and white, couldn’t get enough. I had a ton of dates, even my ex said I looked even better than when I dated him as 4. I didn’t like the weight though, so I shed it. Now I’m doing Insanity. This is probably the most fit I’ve looked since high school and I just hear crickets. Men are an enigma, I swear. It’s not like I’m a twig. I’ve still got curves, I just have a flatter stomach and smaller boobs.

  • Amber

    I’ll just say we have different definitions of “14″, “thick”, “curvy”, and “ideal”. I don’t know what men you are speaking for either. Lol

  • http://gravatar.com/angelamth212 angelamth212

    You are completely right, why do black women risk their health to get approval from black men? We are leading in Diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, hypertension and more…and all just for approval? I am fit, toned and put my health FIRST and if brothas are not looking my way too bad! The last thing I would do is change who I am and my perspective for attention.

  • Ravi

    not sure how you can have different definitions of “14″ but clearly there are many different ideas of thick and curvy. You have some size 0 girls walking around thinking they are thick and curvy just like you have some size 24 girls making the same claim. My usage tends to mirror the way black men well versed in popular culture between the ages of 14 and 45 use the term.

    As for what men I’m speaking for, pretty much any race of heterosexual men found in Western society born in the last century or so. You will be hard pressed to find such guys that idealize a size 14.

    Ideal = conception of absolute perfection. What men do you know that think size 14 is the perfect size? What city are men claiming a 34″ to 36″ waist is absolute perfection? I guess Serena Williams would be considered too skinny to these guys. They would tell Buffy the Body that she needs to gain some weight.

  • Chika

    ^Aaaaallll of this

  • Ravi

    Having a big butt and thighs is not unhealthy. Having fat in your torso near vital organs is what leads to health problems. I’m willing to bet most of these black guys say they want and do want girls with big butts, not big guts. If you see guys encouraging women to expand their waistline and develop a gut, then I’m thinking you are exposed to some pretty weird guys. And the very few that end up marrying slim white girls probably weren’t the same ones wanting black women with bigger butts.

    Slim and healthy don’t mean the same thing. There are a lot of slim people that aren’t healthy and a lot of healthy people that aren’t slim.

  • Aolani Kayo

    There is no such thing as ‘thick’.

  • Ravi

    That sounds pretty typical to me. While the flatter stomach is a plus with many guys, I think the smaller boobs probably won’t go over well with many guys. Although I’ve dated girls all over the spectrum I would definitely take a fit size 8 over a comparably fit size 4. It’s really the waist to hip ratio more than the dress or pants size. it’s just hard to get to a .65 without 40+” hips, which usually put you over size 4.

  • Aolani Kayo

    “I think it’s important that no matter what size a woman is, she should remain healthy.”

    Isn’t that kind of an oxymoron? Someone who is big usually has health issues.

  • Ravi

    khristi hill would beg to differ.

  • Atrice

    Im happy for you, Jasmine! We are all striving to love every aspect of ourselves–it’s only right!

  • Nuy

    I am from the South and have visited all over the US. In Alabama I love my weight, I only really noticed I was over weight when I started going on more vacations. Since I have started working out and eating better but I did it for me not a guy or anything else. I do believe being a size 14- anything can be beautiful. If it was left up to looks only many black people would be single for life. Thank God personality and spirit play a part in picking a husband/wife.

  • Nobody Not Really

    I have to laugh when I hear/see men deciding what is big or small depending on a woman’s clothing size. Most men have no clue about women’s fashion.

  • omfg

    my family is from new orleans and i lived there just before katrina, for a year. i did not gain weight while there. in fact, i trained for my first marathon there and lost some weight – didnt have much to lose though.

    this has nothing to do with new orleans. this is about the individual. if you have no or low standards for eating and weight and health, you will gain. don’t blame this on new orleans or any other place.

    my standard is the same no matter where i am. and i’ve lived all over the dang country.

    i believe in exercise, eating healthfully and indulging occasionally like on the weekend. unfortunately, new orleans is about excess and constantly partying and indulging your whims – basically, it’s about being a child. if you allow yourself to be out of control, yep, you’re gonna gain weight just like the rest of those folks down there.

    louisiana is part of the fat belt and one of the unhealthiest areas of the country.

    also, the thought of regularly downing any of the gulf seafood just freaks me out now. it is contaminated; i don’t care what anyone says.

    i’m a size 2 on top and four on the bottom. i prefer to keep it like that, no matter where i am. i also grew up eating new orleans food.

  • omfg

    amber, size 14 is big. if this were 40 years ago, you wouldn’t be able to shop at all cuz your size just wouldn’t be available. women simply were as big as size 14.

  • BlackExcellence

    So I recently went to the doctor and I was complaining about not being able to lose my butt. My doctor told me that the numbers I should be proud of is my 60 beats per minute heartrate and my 80/62 blood pressure instead of being down in the dumps about me not looking like Omahyra Mota(who I love!). In conclusion, Ive decided to embrace my size 8 frame and big booty and focus more on the health of my body (size 2 dosent mean healthy). Im so happy to be healthy first and foremost and I encourage all sizes to do the same. I value my body more now knowing that I take steps to take care of it rather than the preferences of a man….and I just think men love a confident woman no matter slim or curvy.

  • omfg

    jasmine, who are you kidding? you’re in new orleans, and as you said, ‘But, who can say no to late-night runs to Café Du Monde for beignets or the occasional over indulgence in healthy portions of crawfish etouffee and po’ boy sandwiches?”

    you are not gaining weight because you are indulging in tons of fruit and vegetables. you are gaining weight because you are eating fried and high caloric food without regard for your health. by your own admission, you are out of control in the big easy.

    saying you are concerned about your health after writing about how you can’t/won’t control yourself in the presence of food you think is good contradicts your supposed concern for health.

    it’s weird cuz a lot of my family doesn’t even eat that stuff every day.

    i’d also love to know what an “occasional healthy over indulgence” is.

  • Jasmin

    I’m from Detroit too, and you could fit the number of black women in The “D” who wear a size 6 on the head of a pin and have room left over!

  • Jasmin

    Brothas, please stop throwing Kim K’s wide behind in our faces as the standard of what black women should aspire to be. It’s offensive. Give Kimmy another twenty years. We’ll see what she looks like then. Have you seen photos of her before she was transformed by plastic surgery? Just another barely pretty middle eastern girl. “…claimed by more black millionaires”? She hasn’t held onto one of them yet! And so? I’m old enough to know better than to admire her for anything other than her savvy publicity mongering skills.

  • feri

    @Amber I think most people are clueless about what dress sizes mean above a size 8….especially if you’re tall and not all bone.. In high school I was a size 12, healthy, ate like a teenager, but played volleyball and basketball. I had to wear a juniors 12 or Large. Slimmed down since but even then I was never considered “fat” a day in my life.. not even “thick” and this isn’t “Black standards” I went to a school of White faces.. My BMI was on the upper end of normal…People were shocked when I told them my size. But I’m 5’9″ and it makes a huge difference. There are overweight size 6s and healthy size 14s…dress size is probably the worst determinant of “fatness”.

  • Kacey

    I often wonder if men truly understand women’s sizes.

    A few years ago I dated a guy who practically worshipped my body – he was constantly admiring my “assets” and making sexually charged comments (needless to say, it was a very physical relationship). Anyway, one day we were having a conversation and he was railing against “fat” women and how much he couldn’t stand these sistas who were out of shape and just “big”. Mildly amused at his tirade, I asked him what size he thought I was. He guessed “about an 8…maybe 10″. I was a 14!

    About two years after I dumped him I ran into him, after I had dieted and exercised down to an 8 (hoping to reach an “ideal” 6). He hardly recognized me and disapprovingly told me I shouldn’t lose anymore weight. He, like a lot of men, had no concept of women’s sizes.

    You shouldn’t put so much stock in a number. Not all size 14s look the same. It has a lot to do with shape, bone structure and personal style. A woman can be fit and attractive at any size.

  • http://twitter.com/rastaqueen92 Shug Avery (@rastaqueen92)

    This is America. America is still an intensely body obsessed/pop culture influenced society. “Thicker” girls are not accepted nor embraced in the South no more than say dark skinned women, definitely not a HBCUs either. but why lose or gain for someone else’s objectification?

  • Ravi

    That’s just mean. I mean that’s mean.

    But seriously, I know a lot of fit girls in Detroit. It’s a big city so it’s all about the circles you hang in. I would say in my 30 years in the area I’ve seen quite a few girls of every size.

  • Ravi

    @feri

    Who said a size 14 was fat? I said it wasn’t the ideal for any population of men and I said it was big.

    perhaps you are clueless as to what other people are clueless about? I actually looked up the corresponding measurements for some given dress sizes. It’s based on a combination of height, chest, waist, and hip measurements and it varies from manufacturer to manufacturer. for one manufacturer a size 14 corresponds to 34.5 to 36.5 inch waist at 5’9″. Again I ask, where is a 35 inch waist ideal?

  • Ravi

    It’s not exactly rocket science. for example, size 24 is big and size 0 is small. See, anyone can do it.

    You act like wearing the clothes gives you some sort of special knowledge that men can’t possibly attain, because of your secret number coding system. So many numbers, what does it all mean? Damn this infernal testosterone rendering me incapable of deciphering the complexities of women’s clothing sizes! Oh wait, I can google it.

  • Ravi

    and being claimed by young black millionaires means what exactly? probably that she’s for sale. Sure doesn’t mean she’s some sort of beauty standard. Her sister is married to a young black millionaire and she looks like Shrek.

    She’s average at best and her best attribute isn’t even remarkable compared to the black women I’ve seen. I see girls randomly walking the streets of DC that are crushing her.

  • Chika

    What actually constitutes “big”, to you? “Big” is a totally subjective word so to say someone “big” usually has health issues has little clout. Can you cite the statistic that says “big” people have health issues? I’d understand making that assumption with someone who is morbidly obese; and by morbidly I mean 80+ pounds overweight. But to say “big” people have health issues makes absolutely no sense to me. Furthermore, you could just as easily say “Someone who is skinny usually has health issues.” Afterall, without having cholesterol, heart blood pressure, diet, exercise routine, etc. on hand, it’s extremely difficult to definitively know if someone has health issues. I am a juniors size 9/10, and am 5’9.5 and some of my family thinks I need to loose weight. So to them I am “big”. Yet I have no health issues. I am a pescatarian, I drink only water and fruit juices, and I exercise 3-4 times a week. Dani’s statement is in no way an oxymoron. People need to stop being pseudo health experts.

  • Chocl8child

    Regardless of where you live ( I currently reside in Atlanta, btw), you should surround yourself with folks who will encourage you to be the best you you can be…spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc. I’m an 18 ( down from a 28) and everyone in my inner circle works out regularly and does their best to eat well. We do everything from Pilates to 5K’s and everything in between. One of my good friends, who is a size 14, has run 3 half marathons this year and is in training for her 4th at the end of Aug. She also did a Triathalon last month.

    I’m always amazed at men who throw sizes out there like they know so much about women’s clothes. Most women ,regardless of if they’re a 6 or a 16 wear 4-5 different sizes depending on the store/designer. And a size 16 on a 5’10 frame looks very different than one that is 5’5.

    Regardless of your size, work out, eat right, move away from the sugar and processed foods and drink lots of water and the rest will fall into place.

  • Nobody Not Really

    I wasn’t at all ‘acting like wearing the clothes gives me some sort of special knowledge that men can’t possibly attain, because of my secret number coding system.” You’ve read too much into my statement and inserted the feelings of some else as my own. When I said, “women’s fashion”, I was not specifically talking about dress sizes, but everything that encompasses women’s fashion.

  • Nobody Not Really

    I never made any claims to being a health expert.

  • Chika

    @Nobody Not Really
    I never said you did…

  • Nobody Not Really/Aolani Kayo

    I’m using Gravatar and it seems to be going back and forth between my screen names.

  • Jasmin

    I have rarely in my life seen a woman of any race over the age of 40 with a big behind, big thighs and a small waist. You see this in very young women,
    primarily before they have children. It never lasts. Big behind today, big waist tomorrow.
    Bria Myles appeals to a certain type of man. Personally, I wouldn’t want to look like her. I have zero regard for her and women like her. She is not beautiful. Black culture has become so obsessed with the image of these blown up, photoshopped, beweaved “video vixens”‘ that we have developed a distorted sense of femininity. What kind of inspiration are these here today, gone tomorrow NO CLASS h#%s young girls? Bria Myles looks and acts like a straight up prostitute / porn actress. If I had to choose, I’d rather look like Iman or Liya Kebede. I’m sure that many will disagree, but IMO. that’s true African Queen physical beauty and femininity.

  • Child, Please

    I think I know what you mean. She’s an ideal body type for men – whether you like her or not – but she’s a size four or six. She, too, being that small (and yes, it is small) doesn’t exclude you from working out. Her short stature doesn’t help it any either because she could easily get out of her BMI range if she doesn’t take the necessary steps to ensure a healthy size.

  • Nicole

    Whoa what a eye opener! I’m 24, 5″10″ and a size 4. Never had weight issues but def would not be gaining weight for a man’s attention. I’m happy with my small frame and regardless if your a size 0-12 you should be happy with your image. If not make a change!

  • SoloMind

    My sentiments exactly Choc18child. I am 5″11 and only have the option of buying size 14 and some 16 jeans, dress pants, and dresses due to my thighs, hips, and backside. My pants are oftentimes extremely loose around the waist area and I can actually remove my pants without having to unbutton them. I also work out at least 4 times a week and eat a healthy diet. I know several other women who also have to buy clothes based on their shape versus their waist to accommodate their curves and then add height into the equation. I could NEVER be a size 2 even if I starved myself simply because my frame/bone structure is not made for that and looking at my family members and genetics, none of us are. Even at the lower end of the double digits of women’s clothing, I was still considered overweight based on the BMI and typical health standards. I completely understand that a size 14 on someone much shorter than me may be considered unacceptable by society’s standards but the reality is as previously stated, “plus size” clothing doesn’t automatically indicate unhealthy diets, sedentary lifestyles, and excessive body fat.

  • Child, Please

    That’s a common misconception; some things are hereditary. You have people that are of a smaller frame with love handles. To assume that you should worry about health if your big is, well, ignorant and speaks to a lot of misconceptions people have about dieting, weight and exercise.

  • SoloMind

    am 5″11 and only have the option of buying size 14 and some 16 jeans, dress pants, and dresses due to my thighs, hips, and backside. My pants are oftentimes extremely loose around the waist area and I can actually remove my pants without having to unbutton them. I also work out at least 4 times a week and eat a healthy diet. I know several other women who also have to buy clothes based on their shape versus their waist to accommodate their curves and then add height into the equation. I could NEVER be a size 2 even if I starved myself simply because my frame/bone structure is not made for that and looking at my family members and genetics, none of us are. Even at the lower end of the double digits of women’s clothing, I was still considered overweight based on the BMI and typical health standards. I completely understand that a size 14 on someone much shorter than me may be considered unacceptable by society’s standards but the reality is as previously stated, “plus size” clothing doesn’t automatically indicate unhealthy diets, sedentary lifestyles, and excessive body fat.

  • Ravi

    I often wonder if people truly understand that understanding women’s sizes isn’t gender dependent.

    Just because you dated a guy that was oblivious to women’s sizes doesn’t mean the rest of us are so limited. Clearly there is a range for any given size based on more than shape, bone structure, and personal style. I never suggested all size 14s look the same.

    You still haven’t said anything that even slightly refutes any point that I made. A size 14 is simply not the ideal size. The range of bodies that fit into a size 14 are outside of the ideal for nearly any population of men you can find in this country. I’m not saying size 14 is fat, nor am I saying it can’t be attractive. I’m simply saying that it isn’t any populations idea of perfection.

  • Ravi

    If you haven’t seen such women over the age of 40, I suggest you get out more. I’ve seen many. Just because you haven’t seen it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I personally know many such women that have a very small waist and huge butt and thighs after having multiple children and past the age of 40. And there are skinny girls that get fat later in age. You could have no butt and no waist and end up with large both and you could have a big butt and no waist and not change well into your 40s.

    That certain type of male that Bria Myles appeals to is called heterosexual males gifted with sight. I can see how blind men might not find her all that fine. Given you are a woman, it doesn’t mean much that you don’t think she is beautiful. Plenty enough people see her as physical perfection.

    And let me get this straight Bria Myles’ NATURAL body with womanly curves is a distorted sense of femininity, but Iman’s super-tall skinny body with FAKE breasts should be the standard. Sounds like somebody has been drinking the eurocentric beauty standard kool-aid. And how exactly is Bria acting like a porn star or prostitute? Is she the one posing nude? No, that would be Iman and her fake boobs. I’m thinking if you want to mention health, you should probably not be taking your ques from the anorexia-inducing likes of Vogue and Cosmo.

  • Ravi

    Actually, I was referring to the first sentence:

    “I have to laugh when I hear/see men deciding what is big or small depending on a woman’s clothing size.”

    I wasn’t talking about the second sentence. didn’t read anything into it, you said it all.

  • Child, Please

    @Ravi What does size 14 look like to you? Most size 14s are tall, not “big” as you alluded to earlier. (though some could consider a Serena Williams type big due to her shape and the fact that she exercises; she’s more than likely an ideal body type for most black men, particularly considering her ASSets). I’m willing to bet you won’t know a size 14 woman if you saw her, which is more common than you think considering roughly half the female population in the US is that size. Thus making blanketed statements such as: “The range of bodies that fit into a size 14 are outside of the ideal for nearly any population of men you can find in this country,” come off as ignorant and ill-informed, in this case, about the opposite sex and your own for that matter.

    So while you argue that it’s not an ideal size, I’m wondering how these women manage to find a man (assuming they do and going off of the notion there’s somebody for everybody). Does that mean they’re settling or just don’t care about a “big” figure? While you may not have stated “ideal” as meaning women that size won’t find a man, I’d hardly think most would think otherwise. Telling someone they aren’t “ideal” is by no means a compliment. If it is, tell me where they do that at!

    Furthermore, since when were you the authority on what men like and women’s size for that matter? I doubt if I told you what your waist size is just from looking at you and claimed to be an expert you’d take kindly to my statements.
    I’d even venture to say not all men like their women outside of a size 14, a size Serena Williams and Christina Hendricks (who are both considered amazons) among others have claimed. I would like to know what you’ve been reading to know that men don’t prefer their women this size or has Hollywood has helped perpetuate a standard of beauty that you feel most men would agree with?

    Here is a chart with women’ts measurements:
    http://fashion.about.com/blmissychart.htm

    Though often measurements vary, I think would give you a better indication of what a size 14 – or any size for that matter. I’d also have to point out there are size 40 hips on a size 6.

  • Morning Rain

    “Black culture has become so obsessed with the image of these blown up, photoshopped, beweaved “video vixens”‘ that we have developed a distorted sense of femininity.”

    I completely agree with you on that point.

  • http://afrikanmami.blogspot.com African Mami

    Ladies, let us love ourselves. But be weary of creating delusional dreams grandeur as buffers for our emotions. When you know your weight is spiraling out of control, do something about it.

  • Ravi

    There are size 14′s at every height actually. If you go back and read what I wrote, I gave specific measurement ranges that correspond to a size 14. 5’10″ with a 35 inch waist is big by almost any standards. I never said Serena wasn’t ideal for many black men, but that’s hardly relevant considering she isn’t a size 14. Serena has a small waist with a massive butt, legs, and chest.

    Considering that half the female population is not any single size you’d probably lose that bet. Making up asinine statistics makes you more than just come off as ignorant and ill-informed, it demonstrates that you are in fact both of those things on this topic. The average size of a woman in this country is between 12 and 14. Considering a relatively normal distribution this would mean that about half of women were size 14 or LARGER. Given that all women falling in that category are not only size 14 (many go well into the 20s), it would be impossible for anywhere close to half of all women to be a size 14.

    But that’s all moot, because the ideal is usually not embodied by the mean or mode. The average person in this country is big. We have an obesity epidemic in this country and the average is way up from what it was a generation ago. Average is far from perfection. Physical perfection in the minds of most men is embodied by the minority of women almost invariably. Your belief that spouting some made up statistic on what most women are had anything to do with what men idealize further demonstrates your ignorance on the opposite sex and the meaning of the word ideal. Ideal does not mean attractive. You can be very attractive and not be perfect.

    What does being the ideal have to do with finding a man? Do you think men only get with women that they deem physically perfect? Plenty of women that are obese or not remotely cute have no problem getting men. Your physical appearance isn’t the sole factor in whether you get a man. I’m saying that being the physical ideal usually does not matter for most men when it comes to the women they date. I never said saying someone wasn’t ideal was a compliment, but it usually is reality.

    I’m not sure what my waist size has to do with anything, especially when I’m not pretending to be any sort of physical perfection. While my 6’2, 200lb athletic build might be attractive to many, I don’t think that i’m any sort of ideal for women in general.

    I don’t need to be an expert to say what is idealized by men in this society, just slightly observant. If you pay enough attention, it would be hard not to know that bigger sizes are not the ideal for most men. Neither Serena nor Christina Hendricks are a size 14 (maybe in the UK; you do know that UK sizes aren’t the same as the US?). What have you been reading that suggests that either of these women were a size 14? Even still, there is a reason you don’t catch Christina Hendricks in a 2 piece swimsuit, her less than perfect mid section.

    All of the charts are different. Your chart is no more accurate, and probably less so because it is labeled “misses” than this one:

    http://www.bodenusa.com/en-US/help/womens-fit-and-size-charts.html

    As for what I’m reading, it’s far too much to list here but you can start with a google search on beauty standards and waist to hip ratio. having a large mid section is rarely idealized. Again I say, show me the population that is idealizing a 35 inch waist. Who says having a 35 inch waist is perfect? With a 35 inch waist, you would need 50 inch hips just to have a .7 WHR. Such women are rare. Hips measurement is only relevant in relation to waist, Having 40 inch hips with 45 inch waist = bad.

  • Mercedes

    I agree with you on that point as well. They are all photoshopped.

  • http://sparkleandboom.wordpress.com Nina Renee

    This.

  • Child, Please

    THANK YOU! Could you please indicate that to the ignoramus above who knows soooo much about women’s size and body types? Thanks!

  • London

    THIS! I went to an HBCU in North Carolina and noticed how all the brothas were very healthy and into eating right. They would go to the gym religiously to work on their muscles so they can have that toned or muscular physique. However, when it came to the women, we were encouraged to NOT EXERCISE, gain weight, eat more, and possibly take dietary supplements to “get thick” and “juicy” in all the right places.

    This is definitely an interesting phenomena to watch in our community. I wish a writer or doctor would tackle the subject of young black women trying to achieve an unhealthy weight gain to reach a standard of beauty in our culture. All the while it seems like the standard for black men is to be sexy, fit, healthy, and muscular like all of the black male athletes (TO…amazing body, Chad Ochocinco, etc.) and entertainers (50 cent, Usher, etc.)

  • Jasmin

    @ravi,

    Sorry, I think Bria Myles is ugly and has no class. And Serena is no beauty queen, either. She looks like a huge tranny. We can go back and forth about what you prefer and what I prefer. Neither Iman nor Kebede have European features, delicate features, but not European. They both have beautifully proportioned faces and figures, IN MY OPINION. Your take obviously differs. Sorry, I haven’t examined Iman’s breasts as closely as you have, apparently. Whatever. Fake or not, she looks in proportion and she has never been anorexic. I have in person. At a shoot. The woman has hips and thighs. Is Bria Myles someone you actually look up to? Is that really your idea of beauty and class? Grossly exaggerated body parts attached to an average (at best)face? How do you know that she hasn’t had a boob/butt job? It wouldn’t matter, anyway. The woman is just not beautiful. Ghetto fabulous, perhaps. But definitely not even close to beautiful. She just has a freakishly huge hotentot behind. It is the VIDEO/THUG culture that has made this look currently fashionable and desirable to a certain type. Some men tend to ogle and make a big noise about overstuffed women like that because that’s what is expected of them. It’s a different thing altogether when it actually comes down to them choosing a mate.

    On your other point, I live in Detroit. I get out plenty, and I could go for days on end and not see a middle aged black woman with the proportions you describe. Most of them are very overweight, have no waists, and are knock kneed and broad shouldered in relation to their hips. That is the average black woman’s body in this town.

    No, I haven’t drunk Euro koolaid. But, we look like what we look like and it’s true that we tend to prefer the looks of people who look more like us. Without going into detail I’ll just admit that I look way more like Liya than Bria. And no, I’m not anorexic. I’m 5’8 and 137 lbs..We’ll have to chalk this up to different tastes. Best.

  • Jasmin

    @ravi,

    Sorry, Serena Williams looks like a huge tranny, and Bria Myles is an average (at best) face attached to a freakishly huge hotentot behind. Ghetto fabulous, perhaps, but not my idea of beauty. I’ll admit that I look way more like Liya than Bria and that may inform my opinions. But, at 5’8 /137 lbs I ‘m hardly anorexic. Also, I have seen Iman in person at a photo shoot. She has never been super skinny. She is very shapely, with hips and thighs. She just has a small torso and waist. Fake boobs? Perhaps. But she is in proportion and at56′ is still stunning. Do you know for sure that your innamorata Ms. Myles hasn’t augmented any of her freakishly exaggerated body parts? Doesn’t matter. The woman is not beautiful IMO.

    As for you other point, I live in Detroit. I get out plenty, and it is Indeed rare that I see a middle aged black woman with a tiny waist. Most black women here are very overweight, short or no waisted, knock kneed, and broad shouldered relative to their hips. And, those who have the remnants of an hourglass figure have rolls of fat where their small waists used to be,
    Ravi dearest, we’ll just have to agree to disagree on this one.

    Best

  • rhea

    Why are folks being so judgemental about what size 14 means? Size 14 on an average-sized woman is overweight. Size 14 on a tall or more muscular woman would look “curvy” to most of us. It depends on the bone and muscular structure of the individual woman. Let’s stop making broad judgements.

  • http://itsoftenbeensaid.wordpress.com Sasha

    Bria Myles looks absolutely disgusting. She is classless, what she represents is trashy and she is certainly a cheeseburger away from obesity if she isn’t there already.

  • Really?

    Ravi doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Point blank. There are plenty of women who are a size 14 who are not “big” and who have a small waist. I’m one of them.

    Also, he shouldn’t take it upon himself to speak on behalf of all men by saying that most men don’t desire a woman who is a size 14. You’re one man. You don’t have the privilege, the authority, or the sense to speak for all men. So please take a sit, my brother.

    And clearly, you have no concept of what a 14 really is. You can look up generalized measurements, but that’s not an accurate reflection for most women.

    Women have different bone structures, different shapes, different muscle masses and so on that can play into how “curvy” or “shapely” they look.

    Before Jordin Sparks recently lost weight she was a size 14 and she never looked like she was “big.”

    And if you are big, there’s nothing wrong with that anyway. Big is sexy too.

  • Really?

    Speak it, girl!

  • Really?

    You don’t have to be be a size 0-12 to be happy with your weight. You should love yourself at any size. Aim to be healthy. You can be healthy without being a size 0.

  • Curlysue

    Regarding Serena, I couldn’t agree more. I always gave the “huh?” look whenever I would hear black guys talk about how hot she was. She’s an amazing athlete and could kick all of our asses without breaking a sweat, but I’ve never thought of her as particularly “feminine” in the classical sense. I swear, I’m becoming convinced that all it takes for a chick to be considered “hot” by black men is for their asses to be bigger than their waists. Something comparable to the way some white men seemed to be convinced of hotness when being presented with nothing more than a skinny frame and blonde hair. Like, have facial features stopped being relevant? Me no know :(

  • Ms. Information

    It would not surprise me to see what some of you look like…it sounds like a lot of insecurity masked in confidence to me.

  • taylor

    A size 14 is huge. HUGE, especially if you are under 5’5. That is an unhealthy weight if your waist is above 32 inches and you are a woman. It is just plain unhealthy-diabetes walking, hypertension on a stick.

    I am 5’4. I weigh 145 lbs, I wear a size 4 up top, 34 A, 22 inch waist, 39 inch hips and butt, with a size 8 on the bottom. I usually wear size 6 dresses, sometimes I can wear down to a 2 and up to a 10. I carry most of my weight in my legs, butt, hips. I can see some women being bigger than me on the bottom wearing a size 14, but definitely not in the waist.

    And men finding that attractive? Then what the hell is their waist size? EHH.

  • Morning Rain

    “I’m becoming convinced that all it takes for a chick to be considered “hot” by black men is for their asses to be bigger than their waists.”

    I think you are right.

  • Margaret

    Why does it matter what men think? This entire article is about the author trying to be comfortable in her own skin, not trying to appease “what men want.” (Obviously, issues of marriage and attraction are brought up, but male opinion is ultimately irrelevant to the author’s own happiness.)

  • http://gravatar.com/anglica1127 Ai

    A size 14 for 5’1″? It’s not about “looking good” for the opposite sex, you have to take better care of your body for yourself because sooner or later a poor diet will come back to strike you. I think women in the south are less likely to exercise and New Orleans has been named one of the most obese cities in the nation. More than looking at what size society wants you to be, everyone needs a healthy and active lifestyle and a size 14 is NOT on that list.

  • Jasmine

    I appreciate your concern, however I’m a size 6 not a
    14. No where in the article did I say that I was a size 14. I mentioned that I’ve gained weight. I was a size 4 before. So all the talk about me being unhealthy and overweight is void.

  • DD

    @curlysue

    Who cares what your white ass thinks. We know you are screwing some black dude but NO ONE asked for your opinion.

    Thanks.

  • DD

    @Jasmin

    Bria is pretty to me and how do you know she is a h*****? or is it a case of takes one to know one? You can have your opinions but do not caste aspirations on people you do not know. From her interviews I have seen she seems sweet and not stupid…..so think before you speak/write

  • Ravi

    I’m not referring to Iman’s face when I say euro standards. I’m talking about the super skinny super tall body with big fake breasts. You’d need to be blind to not see the fake plastic looking breasts. having big fake breasts on a 125 lb frame is not proportional, it’s the fashion worlds manufactured idea of beauty. Iman may have gained weight in her old age, but when she was a working model, she was the same as every other half-starved heroin addict looking model.

    and to get this straight, you are saying the poster child for low waist to hip ratio with an obviously natural body looks like the tranny as opposed to the taller than your average man, skinny model, with the curves of a teenage boy, and plastic looking fake breasts??? I doubt you could tell the difference between a picture of Iman and RuPaul from the neck down. you can’t be serious.

    I don’t know enough about Bria Myles to look up to her, but I know enough about her to know that you are just hating. You are calling her all sorts of classless, but your girl Iman is the one posing naked. What classless behaviors has Bria exhibited? My idea of class won’t be captured on a few internet pictures, but I know circulating naked pictures of yourself doesn’t show class. that’s moot anyway, we are talking about body ideals, not ideas of “class” that are based on internet pictures.

    none of her body parts is grossly exaggerated and her body is a lot more typical of real girls than Iman’s FAKE chested unnaturally boney body. her look has been fashionable in the black community for some time now. This is even true with our more educated circles. This super skinny ideal is the artificial new age invention. Having an exceedingly low waist to hip ratio has been a marker of beauty long before there was even a fashion industry. Choosing a mate has nothing to do with the conversation. there are too many factors that go into choosing a mate. I’m talking about the ideal, the idea of perfection.

    you confuse what little you have seen with what actually exists. considering I have seen such women over the age of 40 in detroit with big butts and small waists, it really doesn’t matter what you haven’t seen — it exists. Detroit has several hundred thousand residents and for you to conclude that such women don’t exist simply because you haven’t seen them doesn’t hold much water. as for the average black woman, we have statistics on that and the average black woman in detroit isn’t very overweight. look up the stats and stop going off of your limited experiences.

    we like what we are socialized to like. if we liked what we were, then women wouldn’t be starving themselves to be these super skinny ideals. you like the skinny type because society beats us over the head with eurocentric ideals of what it means to be beautiful. but go ahead and be oblivious to how preferences are constructed. you can keep your tranny looking, teenaged boy body having, fake breasted, eurocentric standards of beauty. I’ll take my women natural and curvy.

  • Ravi

    http://www.atlnightspots.com/dyme-of-the-day2-bria-myles/

    yeah, I see what you mean about obese. What with her 27 inch, non-existent waist and well-defined flat stomach. One more cheeseburger, right?? Ya’ll or on that haterade tonight.

  • deb

    who cares about the guys…i’m glad you are at a place where you want to be with your body, you’d want a guy that would admire and love you the way you love yourself anyway. Congrats on even undertaking insanity….I couldn’t do it!

  • Ravi

    feminine in the classical sense = what white people idealize in their women.

    Serena is very feminine. if your idea of femininity is too narrow to encompass this fine sista, then it’s probably too shaped by dominant norms and classical ideas shaped by white supremacy.

  • Ravi

    impressive. keep up the good work.

  • deb

    yeah but you are developing unhealthy eating habits…i’m where you are at except i’m still in the same city i’ve lived in the past couple of years. A switch just came on and I’m eating out incessantly and i am very consciously overindulging on foods that are yes yummy but unhealthy. I’ve never paid attention to clothing size. I’m a size 9-11 depending on the clothing brand and people never believe me. I’ve made sure to pay attention to what I eat and how much i exercise. Sadly i’m undoing that habit very rapidly and need to stop. It’s getting harder and harder but I will discipline myself.

  • deb

    “Sorry, Serena Williams looks like a huge tranny, and Bria Myles is an average (at best) face attached to a freakishly huge hotentot behind. Ghetto fabulous, perhaps, but not my idea of beauty.”

    please read this out loud. Imagine if someone said that about you or a niece or child. You are just mean and judgmental.

  • deb

    feminine in the classical sense = what white people idealize in their women.

    +1

  • Chocl8child

    Let the church say Amen!

  • CurlySue

    @DD. You stay classy now! Me and my “white ass” will continue to have civil online conversations with the other educated and lovely women on this site. Feel free to keep on being trashy and low-rent.

  • Jasmin

    @ DD,
    Of course I can’t possibly know whether Bria Myles turns tricks on the side in her spare time Somehow, I wouldn’t be shocked if she did. I wouldn’t bother reading anything she has to say, so I’ll take your word that she is stupid. She LOOKS stupid and she looks like a cartoon stereotype of a black hooker. She presents herself that way VISUALLY. Can you tell me that she doesn’t? Think before I write??? Are you concerned that I might sully Myles’ pure and chaste reputation by remarking on her appearance? Is she your idol or something?
    Please don’t lecture me. This is a comment board, not Sunday School.

  • Jasmin

    @deb,
    As I wrote the other high and mighty poster, this is not SUNDAY SCHOOL. It is an online forum. Stop with the holier than thou ish. Both of those women are unattractive PUBLIC FIGURES. I know that it is politically incorrect to call anyone anything other than beautiful. Too bad. They just don’t make the cut.

  • http://beautyinbaltimore.blogspot.com BeautyinBaltimore

    RAvi, a size 14 iis the average size of a plus sized model. So check out the Vogue Italia cover with plus sized models and tell us what you think?

    In Baltimore it is pretty common to see Black women who are approaching 300 lbs. Even young girls are big now.

  • http://beautyinbaltimore.blogspot.com BeautyinBaltimore

    classic!

  • my_reply

    @Jasmine – I think sizes 6-10 are okay, but to a lot of us this sounds like another fat acceptance article. A lot of overweight black women say things like you said in the article when they really need to eat smaller portions and start exercising. They put off exercising because men care more about their cushion than their health. Well a man who’s looking for a good time would care more about the ways you can please him with your cushion. It is up to women to care about themselves and their health. These men are looking out for their best interest. Women need to look out for themselves. You should be looking out for your health and well being. There are many men who are attracted to healthy, fit, non-thick women. The majority of black women are overweight. A lot of them are obese. I just think it’s not the time to encourage BW to be thick because men like it. The women of NOLA should not be praised. The majority of the women in the South are “thick” because they overeat and don’t exercise.

  • http://beautyinbaltimore.blogspot.com BeautyinBaltimore

    Her sister is married to a young black millionaire and she looks like Shrek.

    ^^^______________^_________flatline_________________

  • Ravi

    there is a pretty big range for plue size models. size 6 models can be plus sized. I googled it and couldn’t find any information on the averages for models, so i’m not sure how you could know that for sure. I looked up the Vogue cover and saw the pics. You couldn’t really see their entire bodies from the pics, but they were all big girls. I googled them and saw some of the following:

    http://angelfirestar.yolasite.com/index/big-and-beautiful

    http://models.com/models/candice-huffine/

    http://www.stylehasnosize.com/tag/robyn-lawley/

    Robyn Lawley is different sizes depending on her pics ranging from 8 to 16. In most of them she is a size 12 at 6′ tall with measurements 36D-32-42

    Candice Huffine is 5’11” and Measurements: 38C/D-33-43.5. Dress Size: 12-14 US

    Tara Lynn: 12-14US with measurements 38-34-46in

    I think they are all big women and relatively attractive compared to the super skinny models that are typical in the modeling industry. But none of them are even remotely in the neighborhood of your average urban model (or random girl I see riding on the metro any given day of the week). None of them would be ideal in any black male community. I can’t think of a single hood that’s setting a 34 inch waist as it’s idea of perfection. excessive rolls and love handles aren’t the ideal I’m afraid. all of them have waist to hip ratios >.7, which isn’t bad but not ideal. All of them lack the shape of the curvy ideal. no well shaped butts in this group. I’d bet a lot of money that you won’t find more than a handful of guys taking any of these girls over the girls I’ve named. You’d do better trying to find some bigger black girls closer to the ideal.

    I’d like to see the obesity numbers for black women in baltimore. I’m thinking 300lbs isn’t common for anyone anywhere. I know only about a quarter of the city is obese.

  • Ravi

    “As a 25-year-old, thoughts of marriage and appealing to a possible suitor are on the horizon. I want to be healthy, pleased with my own image, and able to turn heads of the opposite sex.”

    doesn’t seem so irrelevant to the author. I’m not the one who brought up what men think. I’m addressing what the author actually stated. I think you should address that to the author, given she’s the one that clearly does care what men think.

  • Ravi

    keep in mind, merely being overweight based on bmi (obesity stats are based on BMI) does not equate to being unhealthy. I’m moderately overweight according to BMI despite being 6’2, 200lbs and mostly muscle. Many athletes are overweight if you go off of BMI.

    Additionally, bmi doesn’t tell you the location of the supposed extra weight. Women that have the extra weight located in their butt and thighs are not necessarily less healthy. It has been shown that extra weight in your butt and thighs is a health benefit. fat around vital organs, such as belly fat, is unhealthy.

    Finally, exercising doesn’t lead to weight loss. Eating less than you burn does. if you maintain calorie balance and exercise excessively, you will gain numerous health benefits, but will not lose weight. A person with a BMI of 27 that exercises regularly is likely healthier than some naturally skinny girl that eats poorly and doesn’t exercise. Weight only paints the picture at the extremes. in the 26 to 30 BMI range, it doesn’t tell you much. You have to look at other indicators that don’t map onto weight.

  • lol

    Ravi, pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase, stop giving these women excuses. we all know what overweight looks like,damn. black men are the group that complains the most about it’s own women you tell us we are fat one minute and then next we need to gain weight?

    make up you gotdamn minds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Nnaattaayy

    Ok guys, I just google Bria Myles too see what all the fuss is about. & I don’t see how she’s ugly! She she’s not obese at all, she still has her shape and her face is ok, full lips nice smile etc. The only thing I can see girls having a problem with her is she dresses skanky, judging from her google pics. Her Iman & Serena are pretty chocolate sistahs

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