The Cheating Double Standard
There’s no civil war around the pain of infidelity. When your partner is dishonest and steps outside the relationship, the hurt is real whether you’re a woman or man. It’s the public’s reaction that often tells the tale of a gender double standard.
In the span of two weeks, two celebrities faced their sins of infidelity under the glare of the public eye. Nas, who opened up about the demise of his marriage on his now #1 album, Life is Good, told VH1 his one regret was cheating on his wife:
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He experienced an outpouring of support for admitting his infidelity, which had long been rumored. People went as far to say that Kelis should forgive him and welcome him back with open arms as he’s clearly still in love with her. And he only had one transgression.
Kristen Stewart made the front page of Us Weekly for cheating on her boyfriend Rob Pattinson with her married Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders. She released this apology shortly after the news hit:
I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry.
The resulting onslaught was immediate. Kristen’s character and her love for her boyfriend were all called into question by the public, which generally decided she didn’t deserve a second chance with him.
Their cases are different. Stewart cheated on boyfriend Pattinson with a married man; Nas was married to Kelis. And the way they were regarded by the public before their transgressions has an impact on people’s reactions.
But too often, it happens that a cheating man is seen as a good person who made a mistake and is given a pass. And just as frequently, a cheating woman is judged harshly and dismissed as a bad person beyond redemption.
Do you think there’s a double standard? If so, how do you account for it?
–Jaclyn Marshall
Yes there is a double standard. I had to remind people numerous time that the director also cheated, a director married with children. But people are so quick to come for Kristen’s head.
I’m not justifying what she did but the hate toward her needs to be distributed. All the “skank”, “slut”, “whore”, and “homewrecker” should also be thrown toward Rupert Sanders direction.
Ok…..I have all this fame AND I’m dating a dude that a million teenagers would give up their virginity for………yet I’m dumb enough not to think that the paps are not following my every move? A so called “A” list actor acting like a “D” lister.
“A” list or “D” list, she is still human either way.
Well, the huge difference between these two couples is nobody cares about Nas, nobody I know. And Kristen has been hated for YEARS because she can’t act, has only one facial expression, and mouth is always open. A lot of Twilight fans have wanted her head on platter for a long time and thought he was too god for her, so they have a lot to say. But hello it’s hard enough for a nobody to cheat & not get caught, how on Earth did she think she would get away with this? It was just so wrong on many levels a married man who has kids? No one cares about married dude because he’s not as known.
cheating to me is just unforgiveable and i too dont understand why all the blame seems to always be placed on the women involved before the men. i think the guy in this situation is obv more at fault and should be treated as badly or worse than kristen. he has more to lose since he is not only married but has kids as well. i personally do not care at all what celebs do but sadly some people care a lot like this girl in this youtube clip. lol
The blame is always placed on the woman involved, because women are expected to be more moral than men.
Good on Nasir. His new album is DOPE.