Even uglier than the domestic violence dispute that erupted over the weekend between Chad “Never Met a Camera I Don’t Like” Johnson, and Evelyn “If It’s Glass, I Will Smash It” Lozada, is the almost satanic glee some women have expressed over the physical abuse of another woman.

Disclaimer: I vehemently reject the notion that in all cases of domestic violence, the woman is innocent of any wrong-doing. I know how some of us get down and it’s not pretty. You all remember when Cedric “The Entertainer” said, “White people ‘hope’ things don’t happen; black people ‘wish’ they would”? As the mother of two boys (and another little fella who will be here in 47 days and counting) I wish a woman would lay hands on my babies for no good reason. Somebody is going to suffer some consequences and repercussions. I’m not saying physically; I’m just saying someone is going to feel it one way or another.

But I digress….

The curious case of Johnson and Lozada doesn’t seem to be your usual display of unchecked aggression, rather an odd one. Seriously, who head-butts someone? According to the police report, there was no other physical contact and the way some people are responding you would think that 1) he took her to the mat, and 2) she deserved every ounce of pain that came her way.

That is the most ignorant logic I have ever heard in my life.

Year after year, boycott after boycott, we have been subjected to protestations and proclamations that we’re above violence. We’re better than that and those low-class strumpets who watch these shows should be ashamed of themselves. We, as black women, should feel insulted that we are portrayed in such a negative fashion in the media. We are Nubian Queens who should be placed on pedestals of distinction at all times and worshiped as the mothers of civilization that we are.

That is, until a loud, bully of a Latina allegedly gets head-butted by her husband; then those same women become hounds on the trail of blood.

Because she deserved it, didn’t she? Lozada, with her loud, obnoxious, “I’m about this life” attitude deserved to feel pain and humiliation; she deserved to feel so helpless that she was compelled to flee to a neighbor’s house; and she deserved to have her marriage disintegrate in a public trash compactor for everyone’s amusement and “I told you so” satisfaction.

At least, that’s what the hypocrites say.

I’m going to be honest. I have a much easier time believing Johnson’s version of events. According to him, she screamed and head-butted him. If we are to base an assumption on anything, it should be precedent. And nothing in Lozada’s cache makes me believe she sat there distraught over Johnson’s infidelity and ran, frightened, from the vehicle after he assaulted her. I would wager all my money on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” that it did not go down like that. Still, even those who watch the show, who know how Lozada presents herself, are wishing that she finally knows what it feels like to be bullied. They hope that he did it, because it would make their small little day complete.

Let’s run with that hypothesis for a minute for kicks and giggles, and say Lozada was the victim in this situation. Have some people really become so vested in this show that they can take joy in another woman’s real pain? I’ve seen comments from people who would lie to the face of white, blonde-haired baby Jesus and say they never watched “Basketball Wives” a day in their lives, but boy do they seem to know a lot of details now. Under no circumstances is it acceptable for a man to strike a woman in anger. I wouldn’t care if she dared him to do it; I wouldn’t care if she lashed out over a condom receipt, a porno, and a three-legged stripper waiting in bed for a threesome, there is never cause for a man to instigate abuse against a woman. Further, there is never reason for grown-ups with full vocabularies to aggressively invade the personal space of another grown person to resolve conflict — regardless of gender. What this sordid reaction reveals about a lot of people is that they’re not really against violence; they’re just against it when it’s popular, convenient, and makes them appear more socially conscious than they really are.

Lozada is the woman some people love to hate, and as such, her alleged meeting with a “bad bitch” name Karma is something that gives them satisfaction. Period. They aren’t interested in details. They don’t care if she suffered a concussion or worse. They don’t even care if it’s true or not; they just wish that it is and probably chuckle to themselves as her personal “You got knocked the f**k out” moment plays over and over again in their heads. Sad to say, and they probably don’t even realize it, but that says a lot more about their character than it could ever say about her.

  • http://twitter.com/obaa_boni Adwoa D. (@obaa_boni)

    I like this piece a lot. I agree with the author. I think many folks lack compassion and have been treating Evelyn poorly. Evelyn’s bad behavior on BBW even overshadows Chad’s past with domestic violence (dv). It makes me sad. Despite the fact that both Evelyn and Chad are accusing each other of physical aggression, Evelyn is the only one I see been convicted in the public eye. Ultimately we haven’t progressed like we claim we have about “women’s issues”. Women still have to be the perfect victims (or survivors) for us to empathize with them.

    They have to fit our conception of acceptable femininity. When women are physically aggressive/loud (for what I believe is scripted reality) , we seem to have a hard time recognizing too that these women can be hurt or potentially be victims of intimate partner abuse.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mshenry70 Kathy Henry

    The level of viciousness displaced by black women towards Evelyn’s alleged abuse by her husband was disgusting to me as a woman. Even if she is the lowest of the low, no woman deserves to be abused.

  • Smilez_920

    Yes and no I just think ppl lack sympathy for her because of her character. I would never wish domestic violence on anyone but it just killed a lot of people how all of of sudden she gets head butted and called the police. When only a couple of months ago she was running around trying to beat the crap out of some of these women and said ” they shouldn’t call the cops”.

    Again if she truly is in a domestic violence situation than I hope she yes the help she needs. But if it’s like the scnerio you described above I wouldn’t be surprised.

  • http://gravatar.com/teachermrw teachermrw

    I agree with your post. Moreover, the more time I spend on social networking sites where Black women are the dominant/predominant audience, the more apparent, at least to me, anyway, just how vindictive, mean-spirited, self-hating, and tragically unhappy Black women As a group are. From hating on Black women re: their hair and skin, to hating on babies and children, it’s reprehensible. And, we wonder why we are not any further along in society?! We seem to get this masochistic type of joy from the pain of other women, especially women of color, and even more so,Black women. With every hateful comment, I just hear the teeth-sucking and finger-snapping, and see the neck twisting. And yes: I’ve experienced this wrath personally, and have learned to choose my Black female friends very carefully. Otherwise, I feed Black womenwith a long-handled spoon.

  • http://gravatar.com/g2-272b2147cc081599fd2e550d04a6496b g2-272b2147cc081599fd2e550d04a6496b

    No one pities Lozada because she herself is violent. After so many attacks on others, people are like good, she deserves a taste of her own medicine. Now she knows what it is like to be the victim of violence. I hope it tasted good.

  • Yb

    When you go on websites featuring White and other women of color speaking negatively do you associate and picture negative stereotypes of them as well or it’s just black women who you view as monoliths and don’t allow to be seen as individuals? SMH

    You’ve displayed the same self hate in your comment that you accuse other black women of having.

  • Yb

    Like the commentator above me said no one pities Evelyn because her recent past of showcasing violence and on national T.V. no less. Not because of the black women jealous card that people (sadly by some deluded BW who feel they can separate themselves from us and be seen as “not like those other blacks”) but because of her own history.

    If this was Beyonce in a domestic abuse case she would garner much more support and sympathy. Evelyn’s public image ruined what little support she would has gained from this women victim blaming society.

  • Lucy Lucy

    Even though I don’t like her, domestic abuse is never okay.

  • Erin

    Eh… I don’t think anyone saw this coming or is gleeful that it occurred, it’s just not really shocking given her whole violent character on BBW. I haven’t seen anybody happy that it happened to her really and nobody even knows the entire story yet, but the entire situation is a mess. Chad Johnson never had a violent charge in his life, meanwhile he’s been married to Evelyn, “Miss Bout This Life”, “jumping over tables and throwing bottles while instigating 9/10 fights” on the show and he gets charged. I just don’t think it’s easy to feel sorry for a woman with a known record of violent and dramatic antics, but nobody anticipated this even happening at all. Just have to watch who you choose to marry for financial gain and fame… can’t ignore their obvious other issues and act like it can’t potentially happen when the cameras aren’t rolling.

  • who run the world?…GOD

    I am never happy to see any woman abused but we have watched Evelyn physically assault Jen and hurl a wine bottle at Kenya’s head; therefore she should have already been locked up before the incident with Chad even occurred!

  • http://gravatar.com/worshipandpraise JN

    No. I was going to comment on the other piece yesterday, but decided not to because it was too depressing. I don’t hate Evelyn–I don’t even watch the show so I do not know enough about her, just what I read– but I feel like I have known women LIKE her. Maybe I have seen a few Evelyns in high school and in my neighborhood to know what she looks like. I just dont understand why a woman would deliberately chose to live like this.

  • Kacey

    That’s right – Let’s now turn this into a black woman-on-black woman hate fest. Pathetic!

  • http://erinperkinswrites.wordpress.com Erin

    It’s funny to me how people become so focused on Lozada getting a “taste of her own medicine.” Just because she’s been in violent arguments with other WOMEN doesn’t justify a MAN head butting her. No one should ever be abused.

    You know what would be justice? If one of the women that Evelyn attacked, retaliated at that time and hit her or threw a wine bottle at her head or slapped the back of her head with a clutch. How is a grown, physically fit, muscular, man who could probably knock Evelyn’s bony behind to the grown by merely blowing in her direction, justified in attacking her? That’s NOT karma. That’s abuse. That’s domestic violence.

    It’s interesting to me how people have come to loathe Evelyn. Sure, Evelyn’s got a bad attitude, she’s surly, she’s uncompromising, she likes to toss nearby objects at people’s head and disrupt peaceful dinner parties. But I think its outrageous and disturbing that people think she “deserved what she got.” She’s someone’s mother, daughter, friend–and despite her issues, she matters to someone. If anything, Evelyn could easily be one of us. It only takes a moment for any woman to end up in a violent situation with a man who doesn’t have the common sense God gave a billy goat to walk away.

    As far as the author’s disclaimer, “I vehemently reject the notion that in all cases of domestic violence, the woman is innocent of any wrong-doing,” I full-heartedly agree. That’s often how I felt about the case between Chris Brown and Rihanna, especially after her constant reconciliations with him. I always felt like that fight that left his career and her face, bruised and battered, may have been a two-way street.

    But whether you think a woman is a victim or not, a man nor a woman, is ever justified in attacking others (unless their defending themselves against physical violence). And by the way, Chad was found guilty of striking a woman in 2000, which interestingly, was not brought up here. So, he clearly has a history of abuse. I hope people will start to focus on what HE did rather than what they think SHE deserved.

  • http://itsoftenbeensaid.wordpress.com Sasha A.

    I think as women, we feel sympathy for each other given this particular situation but the level of the sympathy we feel is on a case by case basis. When I read about this situation, I felt really really sad for Evelyn but at the same time how much sorrow can you feel for a person who has a history of being extremely violent toward others. She threw a full bottle of wine at the head of a fellow castmate. If that bottle hit her in the head, it could have possibly killed Kenya and left her children motherless. I don’t think people are happy she was assaulted or would be as uncouth to pull the “told you so” card but some people feel as if she got what she deserved. Yes she’s a bully, bitch and overall an undesirable person that I would never keep in my company but she’s also human and I wouldn’t wish her current situation on anyone.

  • http://twitter.com/reeceecup reeceecup™ (@reeceecup)

    I have read comments on Twitter, where people (black mostly) were saying she brought it on herself, cause of her past. It just upset me so, black people are so vicious

  • http://erinperkinswrites.wordpress.com Erin
  • http://twitter.com/reeceecup reeceecup™ (@reeceecup)

    Thank you for bringing up his past history of abuse.

  • http://itsoftenbeensaid.wordpress.com Sasha A.

    Exactly. Everything you just said.

  • Really?

    I have no idea what this has to do with this story–considering Evelyn’s not black. Just saying.

  • http://caronism.com caronism

    It is never ok for a man to hit a woman. And who head-butts? Who does that? FYI, someone mentioned that Johnson has never had a violent charge. Not true. He has not had one in a few years. He has a history of domestic battery.

  • Yb

    +1

  • Toni

    Violence against women is never the answer, but when women abuses each other for no reason why should I show love or sympathy towards her? I feel very sorry for Chad Johnson he knew she was a monster before he married her. I can not give this chick or Tami Roman any love just keeping it real.

  • Kristi

    I totally agree. This is the same way I feel about the Chris Brown Rihanna situation. I don’t care how much u hate or don’t like the woman……violence against her is unacceptable and we should not support anyone who would do such a thing. I do not know her past (i can honestly say that I do not watch any reality shows) but I don’t think she, or any woman, would head butt a grown man so hard as to cause a 2 inch gash on the forhead (her forhead). I cannot condone that. I don’t care how much of a b**** she is……

  • http://gravatar.com/jamesfrmphilly jamesfrmphilly

    “vindictive, mean-spirited, self-hating, and tragically unhappy Black women As a group are. And we wonder why we are not any further along in society?!”

    you say black women are bitter and that is why they are not further along. i say flip that logic. black women are not treated well in society and they have ample reason to be bitter.

    we just need to stop being bitter toward one another and direct that spite toward the system of white supremacy that oppresses us all.

  • SS25

    Can we please drop the whole black women are so vicious thing. Its getting tired and old, and people tend to not feel empathy for bullies. I personally don’t like her actions on BBW, but I think what Chad did to her was disgusting. Bring races where it doesn’t belong takes attention from the real issue which is domestic violence, which effects every race.

  • SS25

    *Bringing race

  • Miss September

    Preach! I’m really sick of the misogynist public dialogue that is going on this year.

    Can there please be a ‘like’ or ‘thanks’ button like on Facebook and Lipstick Alley

  • Smilez_920

    Plus one. But your past usually comes back to haunt you. Of course she doesn’t deserve to be hit by a man or any woman who she has not harassed. I just think people arent shocked by this.

    She is violent, and I think people are just pointing out the fact that she was so quick to knock the women who called the police on her when they felt threaten but had no problem calling the cops when the shoe was on the other foot. Yes I knew he’s a man but hopefully she can see where those women were coming from when they called the law in her.

    Let you mentioned with the CB situation a lot of ppl think that fight between her and ochc was a two way street. And that’s why they keep brining up her violent history.

    I don’t condone men hitting women but I also don’t condone women hitting men, especially men who could hurt them badly by mer strength.

  • Ms. Information

    Anyone who would feel joy and happiness from someone getting beat needs counseling…….However, I was not SURPRISED to see this situation happen, Evelyn is violent and evidently Chad is too…It is karma in the purest sense..Many black men parade non-black women in peoples faces expecting them to be “better” than us in some way…and of course it is not true. This situation is proof of that…and like I said, anyone feeling joy about it needs a life.

  • http://gravatar.com/test Anne

    Except black women weren’t the only ones lashing out against her.

  • OtherNews

    I think she created a love/hate persona and created herself to be the villain. She is a great character study. Beating anyone is wrong. Throwing wine bottles is wrong. Having so much unchecked emotional damage at 36 is unhealthy. The public likes to see people fall from greatness. That’s why Lindsay Lohan is still in the news.

    Also, why is this article so wordy. I thought the second paragraph and the clip were unnecessary. However, the second to last paragraph was when you finally made your point and I thank you for that.

  • Erin

    Either way, domestic violence on both ends is not good either way. Both man should be beating his wife just as no woman should be violent towards her husband. They both have a history of violence and they both need to seek help for their violent tendencies. Nobody knows what really went down but them so it’s hard to feel sorry for either one of them. They created this mess and they’re the ones that have to deal with what they created. It’s really not difficult to not be violent with someone unless that’s all you know and clearly that’s all they both know. It’s ridiculous really. Two toxic ppl shouldn’t be together.

  • http://gravatar.com/test Anne

    And furthermore, whilst I am vehemently opposed to violence of any kind, if you shack up with someone who has a history of violence, and then do things to trigger them – I do have to wonder whether you have you value your well-being. She did not deserve this, but at the same time, both of these individuals have a history of violence that does not help either of their cases in this situation.

    No one deserves to be robbed, but if you leave your front door open in a dangerous neighborhood, being robbed becomes more of a likely reality.

  • EssDot323

    I feel the same way.

    I think they’re both trash.

  • http://gravatar.com/test Anne

    couldn’t agree more, my brother!

  • http://gravatar.com/ominahomina anon

    Evelyn lacks compassion and treats people poorly. What do you expect?

  • Fake Realist

    I don’t condone abuse in any form… ANY FORM. But we live in a society where all the accountability is put on the Man when it comes to physical abuse. A man hurts the woman’s feelings (for example cheating), she slaps him and she is justified. Let a man do the same thing he is demonized.

    I for one was with a woman who had a reputation for fighting men. This woman would hit me on multiple occasions. I would do nothing. Until one day I got tired of it and decided to leave after she punched me during an argument.

    As I was trying to exit the house she was trying to attack me and I would push her out the way as I got closer to the door, she grabbed me and I pinned her to the ground. She attempted to kick me in the face and had to pull back, and swing to protect myself. She ended up calling the cops on me when I was trying to leave in the first place.

    Saying that, I’m a little less compassionate in situations like this especially considering the reputation she has. Every situation is different.

  • Nic

    Don’t know how she identifies but Latina and Black aren’t mutually exclusive and she’s looks like she is of African descent to me, and I can’t be the only one. So I see an unfortunate public example of domestic violence between a black couple, and the language of her ancestors doesn’t change that. I have no idea who she is, just have been seeing reports of this idiot and his new wife in the news. We have much better people than this who should be given attention by the media but yeah, let’s continue to focus on the lowest common denominator, professional athletes and their baby mammas/wives.

  • Cee Cee

    Amen. It seems like black women can never be seen as individuals, just get painted as a bunch of hyenas who want to feed on any and everyone. I felt the same way about the Gabby Douglas “hair” debacle. I never actually heard anyone expressing distaste or criticism but that was and has been a leading story. Overwhelmingly I saw most women who felt like Gabby was a little sister, cousin, etc. very proud.

  • apple

    because evelyn is a b*tch, from hoping tables to throwing wine glasses, i mean BOTTLES… if she was nice or appeared as night she would have more people in her corner instead of this seeming like “KARMA’S A B*TCH aint it?” to everyone

  • http://VerityReign.com Verity Reign

    I agree 100% with this statement from the author–> “Even uglier than the domestic violence dispute that erupted over the weekend between Chad “Never Met a Camera I Don’t Like” Johnson, and Evelyn “If It’s Glass, I Will Smash It” Lozada, is the almost satanic glee some women have expressed over the physical abuse of another woman.”

  • DookieTurds

    There’s three sides to every story guys. It looks like most people are hearing Evelyn’s side and running with it.

  • ?

    I don’t support violence in any way, shajpe, or form. Time or interest does not permit me to watch all of these reality shows. As far as Evelyn, she is not the only violent female reality star. The focus is more on her throwing a bottle instead of the ongoing issue of domestic violence. There appears a concealed issue of jealousy towards Evelyn. Why? Yes she is violent and she fights as others do. Similar to everyone, she has a good side as well (according to BBW). Her good side is not being a fake and she does take care of the people that are FOR her. I prefer to role with an Evelyn verses a chick that is backstabbing. As soon as you turn your back, she does more damage than an Evelyn would. As any other newlywed, I was hoping their marriage worked. It’s time to carry on, mind your own, and put your paws on the shelf. Gosh, this jealous of Evelyn is very apparent.

  • isolde3

    “As far as the author’s disclaimer, “I vehemently reject the notion that in all cases of domestic violence, the woman is innocent of any wrong-doing,” I full-heartedly agree. That’s often how I felt about the case between Chris Brown and Rihanna, especially after her constant reconciliations with him. I always felt like that fight that left his career and her face, bruised and battered, may have been a two-way street.”

    @erin

    No. Just, no. I knew it was only a matter of time before someone dragged Chris Brown and Rihanna into this. Rihanna reconciling with her abuser has no bearing upon whether or not she was assaulted that night, like no bearing at all. I seriously cannot with the whole, “ Rihanna reconciled with Chris, so that night he beat her down must not have happened,” train of thought. First of all, DV victims returning to their abusers is a sad, unfortunate norm. Secondly, everything from the police report, to the multiple bruises on her face, to the bite marks on her ear, to the lack of such contusions on CB, all tell you who beat up whom that night, but for whatever reason, some people are always looking for some straw to grasp to place the onus on the victim and not the felon who assaulted her. There’s really no point in anyone entertaining the logic behind the idea of Rihanna getting as good as she gave because she hit him first or whatever because if that was really the case, don’t you think that CB would have the marks to prove it? I mean, since according to you, it may have been a two way street. Chris was merely defending himself and giving an eye for an eye, or a bite mark for a bite mark or a punch for a punch, right? I mean, really, is the reason why Chris barely had a mark on him because Rihanna beat him with a rubber hose? Rihanna did not do anything to warrant CB wilin’ out on her that night like he did. End of.

    The thing is, people rarely refute the idea that adults should use measured restraint when disciplining children. Why? Because adults are much bigger than children, right? So, even if say, a child smacks an adult, the onus is on the adult to use restraint because adults hit much harder than kids. This is common sense, no? Yet, for some reason, some people love to question this common sense logic when women are assaulted by men who are much larger and are capable of hitting much harder than the women they victimize. Now, if Royce had beat Evelyn’s @ss, then I would be kii-ing over this for real, but some big @ss pro-athlete man beating up on Evelyn is hardly a fair fight. Boxing has weight classes for a reason.

  • Really?

    You knew her reputation. Yet you stayed with her. Please see Anne’s comment. I think it sums up your situation pretty well.

    “No one deserves to be robbed, but if you leave your front door open in a dangerous neighborhood, being robbed becomes more of a likely reality.”

  • Smilez_920

    Chad lost his nfl contract and I’m shore ESPN is doing their own convictions in the sports world.

    Again people aren’t lacking sympathy for her because she’s not a “victim”. Atleast I have seen anybody say she deserves to be abuse by a man. Most know any women can be a victim of abuse ppl are just pointing out the fact that the same sympathy she is lookig for is the same sympathy the ppl she was running around harassing were looking for.

    People aren’t crucifying her for being a victim of abuse they are crucifying her for being an abuser and not realzing that the same fear she felt with this incident is the same fear those other women felt.

    I personal have nothing against either one of them, they both need help.

  • http://tontonmichel.tumblr.com/ Tonton Michel

    Knowledgeable people are unmoved by her and this incident because they are aware of this scientific fact: Two ratchet people can not occupy the same space at the same time without drama following and engulfing the attention of those around them.

  • gmarie

    It’s hard to sympathize with a physically aggressive bully and adult mean girl. Her husband rocking her dome doesn’t change what she is. Am I happy she was physically assaulted by her husband? No, in fact I really wish it would not have happened but more because of the other people outside of she and Chad that this has effected (her daughter and mother, his children and grandmother). No, I’m not happy that it happened at all. Yet I still cannot bring myself to feel anything for her on the other hand. She’s alive to live another day, that’s great news. I hope she makes the best decision for her and this relationship going forward.

  • OMG who the heck headbutts

    I totaly agree. All humans are suppose to be civil and show constraint. Its just not on men. Who the hecks knows what happend in that car. If anything they are both to blame. THey both were aware of each others character flaws however they believed this would work.

    This is what happens when people put their lives on television for a show. You get unwanted criticism and feedback. Its not like BBW is a first generation reality tv show. They know what happens when they become spectacles. So all of this happened now what are they going to both do? Time for them to get real and make smart decisions in life.

  • gmarie

    Also, I’d like to know how an article about an abused Latina woman (yes she identifies herself as Latina-not Black or African American as some of you seem to wish) managed to spew a debate about black women’s self esteem and “disdain” for each other? People find any reason to attack actual black women I see. carry on.

  • Erin

    @isolde3

    First off, I always felt that way about Rihanna and Chris Brown. From the moment that story was released and Chris and Rihanna started acting afterwards–I knew they were both whack. There’s something stinky about their situation just like Evelyn and Chad. That doesn’t justify domestic violence. I’m NOT defending a man hitting a woman or vice versa. Domestic violence goes both ways–woman attack, men attack, and it can be mutual.

    If you read my comment again, you’ll see where I CLEARLY said I don’t agree with violence of any sort, even if a man and a woman are equally attacking each other.

    “But whether you think a woman is a victim or not, a man nor a woman, is ever justified in attacking others (unless their defending themselves against physical violence).

  • http://twitter.com/Cognorati001 Colette Marcheline (@Cognorati001)

    I’m not happy she was assaulted, but I wasn’t surprised because she herself if very violent: violent people tend to have a lot of violence in their lives, whether they are the perpetrator or victim. I don’t comprehend how she could possibly take any stance against violence when she essentially believes in it — I don’t think there’s any celebrity who is more aggressive than she. I have personally been STUNNED by clips of her on her show and have refused to watch…

  • Child, Please

    I think you may want to check the comment thread on yesterday’s story and search a few others and read those because it reeked of that jargon: she deserved it. The comments weren’t the focus of her being an abuser as much as it was she get’s what she deserves, and that’s sick! Regardless of that (her being an abuser) being the focus, the tone indicated otherwise, sadly. (SN:Funny, people always wanna shift the focus in a DV case, regardless of the abusee’s gender. Some don’t even consider that Chad had an abusive past, they may even just care that he throws a ball.) I agree with those others on this post. For some reason, we expect all women to be like the Lifetime Movies and be a victim in the classic sense, when not all people are the same. I’m willing to bet Evelyn’s behavior is a result of something else, that no one seems to touch on. I also find it quite funny how people are now blaming Evelyn, when they inadvertently contributed to it. Had she not been violent and rageful would people even watch the show? No, you may not have told her to do what she did, but on an “unscripted” series someone’s gotta be the b* and in this case it’s Evelyn. If she wasn’t such a b* would folks even continue to watch? It’s a ratings grab; I also have to question, if we’re gonna bring up Evelyn’s abusive behavior in light of her abuse, that we should question the behavior of those “cast mates” of her’s. Why would you continue to associate yourself with her even after the fact? Shaunie could have kicked her off the show as could VH1, but some people soak it up like a sponge. I wish it hadn’t happened for both of their sakes, but hopefully time will tell.

  • http://twitter.com/Cognorati001 Colette Marcheline (@Cognorati001)

    I agree: they both need help. People who are spiritually sick IMHO tend to have lives like hers and his: violence and chaos…

  • Ms. Information

    The law of ratchetness…lol..too funny.

  • African Mami

    Personally, I actually like this couple, whether for show or otherwise. However, in light of the remarks being made, the issue here is that Lozada’s alleged victimhood is cloaked in past transgressions, that make it hard for folks to actually give a damn. If anything, some are, as Kirsten pointed out, happy.
    Domestic violence, should not be condoned, regardless! It is not a-okay.

    On a lighter note, CONGRATS KIRSTEN, so happy for you mama!!!!!!!! Gifts in the form of little bundles of joy are always a blessing, and a time of merriment!!

  • Iamanindividual

    Wow! Well, wouldn’t you say that many viewer’s of Basket Ball Wives are Black? So based off the subject matter most commentary will be from a majority Black audience since it’s a Black show. So with this news I would assume you would get a lot of coverage from Black people. I truly dislike when people like you group an entire race of people together based off the comments of a smattering of people. I read negative comments on Cnn and the like, from non-Black people daily (mostly White) and if I were small minded it would lead me to think that every single White person walking this planet was racist. All Black people are not vicious and I truly hope all White people are not racist. Twitter and 100 comments on Black message boards are not representative of an entire race. It is representative of the group of people interested in that type of entertainment who frequent those boards and entertain that type of conversation. Of 34 million Blacks in the United States, please understand that we don’t all have the same interests. We are individuals just like every one else. Thank you!

  • df

    this post is sickening…how is this different from the hate spewed at evelyn? now all black women are evil…wow…

  • international lady

    is it tragic? yes. should it have happened? no. is being abused appropriate given her extreme and hostile nature? absolutely not. the situation is tremendously heartbreaking. i’m sorry but sometimes it’s hard for me to sympathize with someone who has built their name on being cruel, hateful, and violent; sue me for my feelings i’m only human. she didn’t deserve a taste of her own medicine at the hands of her husband but i am a firm believer in karma and we should treat others how we wish to be treated. both of them have their issues and demons they’re dealing with. hopefully this will be a wake-up call for both of them; for them to clean up their acts, attitudes, and become better people.

  • http://twitter.com/Cognorati001 Colette Marcheline (@Cognorati001)

    i do wonder how the previously documented violence on her part is going to affect the case; also, I had a guilty laugh at some of the comments in your post… so wrong, but too funny.

  • Erin

    LMAO! +1!

  • http://gravatar.com/dginki Kim

    Thank You! Someof these folk are truly sick. SMH.

  • cupcakes and shiraz

    I’m not happy nor sad about this. Just colour me unsurprised. Chad and Evelyn are two violent thugrats who deserve each other.

  • http://www.facebook.com/MrsRisseJ Risse

    I’m certainly not happy about this, I find it quite unfortunate. However, I’ll put it out there that my very first thought was that if it truly went down the way she says I find it hard to believe that this the first time that it has been made manifest within their relationship. So that begs the question, what changed…

  • Loretta Parish

    Regardless of Evelyn’s personality, NO WOMAN/FEMALE deserves to be treated in a violent way by any man! Violence and disrespect on any level should never be tolerated even if the shoe was on the other foot where the male was being abused by the female. As quiet as abuse is kept it happens on both sides of the fence. WAKE UP!!!!

  • Valentina

    Love it!

  • Hehe

    Thank you! I was with Erin’s comment until she brought up Rihanna and Chris Brown. How can this be a case for two way street domestic violence when the police report her bruises tell otherwise?

  • isolde3

    @Erin

    You don’t have any proof that it was mutual to even be suspicious, and clearly it couldn’t have been “mutual” or else he would have the marks to prove it. Chris Brown beat up Rihanna. That’s what stinks about that situation. Reconciling with her abuser does not imply that she was abusing him as well, and that’s exactly what you’re saying. Unless Rihanna was acting violently in the aftermath of her attack, then implying that she may have been abusing Chris all along because she chose to reconcile with him is a sad reach. That’s just a baseless allegation that some people like to bring up because they can’t believe that CB did what he did and that he must have had a “good reason” to do it. I would have never pegged CB as an ill tempered batterer until he beat up Rihanna that night either, but he did it. I know this because I read the police report, and I saw the pictures. The evidence was written all over her face, and I know CB has a temper cause I can’t go six months without hearing about how he threw a chair through a window or cursed out someone with homophobic tweets on Twitter. Now he’s even lashing out at few fans he has left on because they’re not buying his latest CD. Have we seen clips of Rihanna on blogs throwing things and hopping over tables to assault people like we’ve seen of Evelyn Lozada? No, we haven’t. So, clearly it’s not the same. What other reason besides reconciling with her abuser do you have to suggest that it was a “two way street,” with Chris and Ri . . . her smart mouth?

  • Britt

    Violence is violence. No woman has the right to be abused and neither does any man. Yes, Chad had a domestic violence (DV) incident in college, but that was over a decade ago. You can’t ignore how ironic it is that after he marries Evelyn, he gets arrested for the first time in his professional career. Chad has four children, and to my knowledge, there haven’t been any reported violent incidents between him and his children’s mother.

    When Evelyn fights women on “Basketball Wives,” it’s must-see television and the ratings are through the roof. Is that not violence against women as well, and aren’t WE (including myself because I watch “Basketball Wives”) indirectly supporting violence against women when we watch those shows?

    Chad was wrong to have allegedly head-butted Evelyn, and that situation could have been handled much differently. We can’t all of a sudden go on a “violence against women is wrong” crusade, just because the two people involved are a man and a woman and NOT two women.

    Also, in my opinion, the statement “violence against women is wrong” needed to be aimed in Evelyn’s direction a long time ago.

  • Fake Realist

    The thing is I didn’t know anything about that “reputation” until AFTER I was emotionally invested in the relationship. She was cool then she changed like most people in abusive, controling relationships.

    Maybe I’m just upset that people were looking at me like I was abusive when I was simply trying to protect myself from situations like these. Difference is I could never fathom being abusive to any woman nor have I ever been known to womanize I have the utmost respect justpicked a few bad apples in the past. Oh well I’ve been wanting to get this out for a while.

  • Erin

    @isolde3

    Look, I’m not trying to make this about Chris Brown and Rihanna (I only wrote two sentences in my original comment about it). But clearly, that’s what you want to keep talking about it instead of focusing on the issue at hand: Women condoning Evelyn being attacked because they don’t like her.

    I used Chris Brown/Rihanna as merely a reference that EVEN if domestic violence is mutual, it’s still not OK.

    My point is this: Domestic abuse is never OK. Because we don’t like someone doesn’t mean she or he deserves to be abused. It certainly doesn’t mean that we should justify violence against another person.

    AGAIN, I refer to what I wrote earlier.

    “…Whether you think a woman is a victim or not, a man nor a woman, is ever justified in attacking others (unless their defending themselves against physical violence). And by the way, Chad was found guilty of striking a woman in 2000, which interestingly, was not brought up here. So, he clearly has a history of abuse. I hope people will start to focus on what HE did rather than what they think SHE deserved.”

    No disrespect, but it’s like you’re focusing on what aspect of what I said rather than the point I’m making.

  • hmmmmm

    I dont feel bad for bullies….either gender. Call me whatever.

  • Really?

    I understand your point, and I’m sorry you experienced that.

    I don’t think that people should base their sympathy of Evelyn based on her reputation of violence because that reputation is with women not men.

    Just because she’s been physically violent with women doesn’t mean she was like that with a man. As a woman, I’d be a lot quicker to throw a punch at another woman than I would a man. I know my physical limitations. BUT that’s not every woman. It’s possible Evelyn could be that damn crazy.

  • http://gravatar.com/niknique starr

    I’m not happy that any body was assaulted. I think because of her history, its hard for people to summon sympathy for her. I’m more indifferent. They say they are three sides to every story, and its well documented that she is a violent person, so more than anything I’m more incline to believe that the truth in the middle. Given her history, I think that people have a hard time believing that someone who is always so quick to get at anybody at the drop at the hat, was just completely innocent in all of this.

  • Joan

    Wow…except for Jennifer, everybody on that show is violent. If Chad did community service for slapping someone, then they ALL need to be doing community service. Hell, Tammy should be wearing an ankle bracelet for sh@t she’s done and sh@t she’s ’bout to do.

  • http://AirInDanYell.tumblr.com Erin

    +1

  • Nic

    Are you kidding? Black folks love to differentiate themselves by piling on each other. So they join in any opportunity to insult black women and prove to the white people that they are special black people. I’m not like those nasty black people. I’m “classy” and not ghetto…it never ends.

  • Tasha

    Why “allegedly” assaulted? And if it is an “alleged” assault why even write this piece?

    But, truth be told, I can’t even take this post seriously. When I first heard of the incident I ran Clutch, curious to see how the incident would be presented for consumption. Unfortunately, what I read was very judgmental, caustic and almost humorous. It seemed like more time was spent rationalizing how and why Evelyn should’ve known the infidelity was coming or even if she encouraged. Peep the title, “Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozada Screw This Thing Up (Just Like Everyone Knew They Would)”. Nothing in the title hints at the gravity of the situation.

  • Ryan

    Tami Roman for President!

  • hmmmmm

    are you trying to be even? fair? a humanist? not here, there are age-old battles to win!

    but thanks for this.
    +2

  • dvine

    i’m not happy.. who would be happy about this regardless of how she behaved on tv?! this could happen to anyone and it’s unfortunate..

    some men just don’t know how to conduct themselves..

  • cupcakes and shiraz

    +3

  • The Comment

    “and she deserved to have her marriage disintegrate in a public trash compactor for everyone’s amusement and “I told you so” satisfaction.

    LMAO!!!! public trash compactor…. LAWD! LAWD! girl your hormones got you on fiyah!

    Congrats on your newborn!

  • Anon71

    I agree w/u @Smilez_920…

    she played pussy and got f*cked! plain and simple.. Some call it Karma. Some call it she got what she deserved. Whatever it is I bet she won’t be throwin her hands up in no one’s face in a looooong time.

  • http://www.binsidetv.net shani harris

    @isolde3
    I agree. Anyone who watches BBW can see that Evelyn Lozado loves to fight. Can you believe that the marriage barely lasted a month before the honeymoon was over? Evelyn was just featured on the cover of YRB magazine and talked about the wedding. How long do you think they will last now that Ochocinco’s football career is possibly over the reality show was cancelled before it aired. Evelyn was just featured on the cover of YRB magazine talking about wedding details. According to TMZ the couple were arguing because Evelyn accused Chad of cheating. How long do you think they will last? SMH.

  • http://www.overflowradio.tv soulfullyreal

    There’s a difference between being happy and being indifferent. Only the most jaded and cruelest of ppl are gonna say “I’m happy she got hit/ abused/ head-butted/ whatever.” However, her actions and character does leave ppl w/ little reason to be empathetic. Not that they are “happy” about the situation, they just don’t care either way b/c she puts out negative vibes. Whether that’s a good or a bad thing is your call but there is a diffrence between that and celebrating someone’s pain.

  • http://twitter.com/ShaneAwesome Sir Awesome, OBE (@ShaneAwesome)

    +Fo’.

    Took the words right out of my mouth.

  • http://twitter.com/ShaneAwesome Sir Awesome, OBE (@ShaneAwesome)

    TRUTH… LOL!

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    I been on most of the sites and for the most part people are indifferent. They are neither happy nor very sympathetic. This situation seems to be one of those things of “it is what it is…” nobody is condoning domestic violence but nobody is surprised that something didn’t pop off between them. Maybe it is the way they BOTH portrayed themselves out to be on TV in which people don’t care about their personas or the fact that this seems like a fitting and somewhat ironic ending for them given the nature of her personality and his pass DV incident. Let’s not try to pretend that Evelyn didn’t build her brand off of violence, violence is violence regardless if it is domestic violence or violence towards your fellow cast mates so again you can’t drum up that much sympathy in their case. I find it funny that when it is violence involving a man or woman everyone wants to jump up and scream it isn’t fair and how that person should pay and need our support but when it is violence within a gender it usually gets a blip on the radar and that’s it. Yeah, it sucks that she went through this and got a tough break but that is far as the buck is going to go. And to be truthful Evelyn is not an unique case, look at K. Michelle for example on L&HH Atlanta her domestic violence story has been circling around lately and for the most part people feel sympathetic towards her and her story even though she is a bit hood and “from Memphis where chicks jump gates…” yeah she can throw down and be “about that life” but she didn’t immerse herself in that persona or protrays herself as a bully so it is easier for people to feel sorry for her and her story, with Evelyn it is almost like hearing from a bully who finally knows what it feels like, doesn’t make it right but again it is what it is.

  • The Comment

    LOL….teeth sucking…u funny.

    I have to get back to you on this..(if I see you around these parts) but there is one book written by a white lady who studied the mean girl culture. She too had been traumatized by her (white) peers and she wanted more information on why all women across racial lines (but I feel you…..you black you suffer mean things by black women—-i totally get it) There was no study on this. You know studies on women are limited anyway…so she was shocked to find out that no one venture to find out:
    1. Why women feel joy by seeing the pain of others
    2. Why we (all women not just black) are so hateful to each other.
    3. The role of group think/corporate and or gang culture/family plays in how we treat each other.

    I thought it was interesting but now that you said it seems that black women feel some type of “joy from the pain of other women…esp women of color” I will have to go buy the book. This topic deserves more attention that what it is getting. And EVE is the perfect poster child for mean ‘old’ girl culture.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks

    Hmm…, the white media isn’t giving her that much sympathy either so are they bitter, vindicated, and ill spirited too? And the people who don’t know her are basing their opinion of what they heard or the media protraying her so if they don’t feel sympathy for her or say “Oh…” and keep it moving are they wrong? Smh… some people can’t wait to attract the whole and try and read black women and fail miserably.

  • Anthony

    To say a man is always at fault in a domestic abuse situation relegates a woman to the position of a child and the man of an adult. I am a big man myself, and even at AARP age, I am probably stronger than any woman I might run into who is not a world class shotputter or some other sort of elite athlete (given male advantages in upper body musculature, I am probably stronger than most of them too.)
    That said, anyone who constantly picks fights is going to come up on the short and sore end of scrap sooner or later.

    That does not make a man hitting a woman right, it just means that adults of both genders need to act like adults when they get into an argument. We all need to keep our hands to ourselves until we truly ready to make love and not domestic war.

  • The Comment

    @James…..hello and good day…

    Just a question: Why is it when the very few of us on here voice experience from “vindictive, mean-spirited,self-hating, and tragically unhappy” black women….we get attacked?????? Not that I care but dang can a sistah have a different opinion or experience from the rest of the crew.

    In Tina Turner’s movie, ‘What Love Got To Do with It?” she depicted being abused by lemme guess…….”vindictive, mean-spirited,self-hating’ black women……. It was a great movie. She overcame her obstacles and she is at peace.

    But voice it on Clutch and here goes the…..you are accusing all black women of blah blah blah and how dare you come on here and talk about black women are negative blah blah blah…

    Like damn….what happen to constructive criticism? Naw, I guess it is just lazier to call someone a hater than really listen to their story. If the story doesn’t fit your limit perspective on life then it is just all wrong.

    But my bad…black women are sooo loving towards each other and are acceptable of each others views. How dare I voice something different.

  • Change

    this site capes for more hoe’s than drake.

  • http://gravatar.com/beaulaola beaulaola

    Karma is a bitch. I’m not saying she deserved to be hit but I’m saying she deserved to feel the same way she made others feel.

  • grateful

    @the comment

    very interesting. i’ve thought about it too, and i have theories of my own. what’s the name of the book? would like to read it too.

  • JustSaying

    if it was a woman who head-butted evelyn and she got similar injury i’m sure the author would say she had this coming…this is a woman who has viciously attacked people just because she could..I don’t condone violence at all…but KARMA is real and you can’t expect to treat people like that and not get something in return.

  • The Comment

    @teachermrw & @grateful

    Kelly Valen, (‘Twisted Sisterhood’ Unraveling the Dark Legacy of Female Relationships)

    http://www.kellyvalen.com/

  • Really?

    Yeah, unfortunately, what someone looks like doesn’t determine what race she/he is. You could be Asian, and everyone think you’re Hispanic–that doesn’t make you Hispanic. So just because she might look like a black woman to you doesn’t mean she is.

  • Really?

    It’s funny how everybody is making Evelyn out to be the biggest bully on BBW. Hmmm…did you all forget about Tami? She’s a way worse offender than Evelyn. I think the way Evelyn receives a lot of hate and the way Tami has gained a lot of support speaks volumes about the state of black woman in America. Why the hell is it OK to bash Evelyn, who is Latina, talk about how she’s a b*tch who got what she deserved, but say nothing about Tami, who is black, and borderline psycho as well. So, it’s OK for black women to act up?

  • http://www.facebook.com/molly.barnes.984 Molly Barnes

    Even the Bible warned parents not to provoke their children to anger for a reason. We all need to know when to back down and not let a situation get out of hand. Brawling women always end up in extremely telling situations. U live by the gun, u die by it. You live by violence then you shall die by it. Evelyn is a violent woman and in time it shall be the end of her. I hope she can seeks the help she obviously needs. She stooped so low to licking her husband’s anus to keep him happy and even that could not save her. I wish them well.

  • befree

    You are lying. Tami got dragged on Twitter until she had to get off. Please save the BW bashing.

    Tami Roman To Fans: “Stop Cyber-Bullying Me

    http://theurbandaily.com/1922331/tami-roman-to-fans-stop-cyber-bullying-me-and-my-co-stars/

  • befree

    Who thought clutch would turn into black women bashing? I am out..

  • Egypt

    Evelyn isn’t Black…not exactly sure why we claim her or her behavior as such.. But putting that aside, no woman deserves to be hit..I don’t care what happened. The man is always stronger and should exercise some common sense or else be prepared to pay the consequences.

    Furthermore, it’s the internet and as we’ve seen with other cases the internet tends to bring out the worst in people… people feel the need to say anything and everything. It’s not right but those that feel empowered do what they do (especially when it’s popular) …

  • Ashley GaGa

    Exactly! She doesn’t deserve to be hit. But she definitely deserves the public humiliation she’s receiving. And, I don’t believe Chad headbutted her on purpose anyway. Did you all hear the 911 tapes? The neighbor said they “bumped heads.” True to form, Evelyn will milk this cow till it’s dry.

  • TG

    @Smilez_920
    I disagree. I have read plenty of comments on other blogs where people ARE crucifying her for being abused. They are calling it karma. They are saying that because she engaged in fights with women her “karma” is to be hit by the man she is in a relationship with. People are saying that they do not feel sorry for her and could never feel bad if a man hit her. Some people have even gone as far as to say that he should have went further and just beat her because she probably “started” it.

    Violence is unacceptable period. Yes, she was wrong for attacking the women she attacked but if he did in fact head-butt her he is wrong as hell and it is unacceptable.

    You don’t have to cry your eyes out for her but a little compassion would prove half these people human.

  • MimiLuvs

    +1. I was hoping that people could tell that most people are feeling indifferent about this case instead of being happy off of another’s misfortune.

  • MimiLuvs

    Like Binks, I feel indifferent towards Evelyn’s recent taste of plight than the feeling of glee. It’s kind of like that employee at your job that is a jerk/bully, whose parent has passed, and no one doesn’t care enough to give him/her a condolence card.
    Out of this unfortunate event, I hope those two individuals make efforts in changing for the better. I hope they lay low for a while. No Facebook updates, no Tweets, etc. I hope Chad finds some help in addressing his issues. I wish the same thing for Evelyn as well.

  • MimiLuvs

    Clutch… Black women bashing?!! NNNNOOOO!! You don’t say…

  • MimiLuvs

    You’re just reaching for them stars in the sky, aren’t ya honey?

  • MimiLuvs

    I am going to assume that the word “karma” has taken over the top spot, from the word “swag”, as being the word that is mostly used in conversations of 2012. Unless, someone else from Cash Money is making a “YOLO” remix.

  • Jess

    “As the mother of two boys (and another little fella who will be here in 47 days and counting) I wish a woman would lay hands on my babies for no good reason. Somebody is going to suffer some consequences and repercussions. I’m not saying physically; I’m just saying someone is going to feel it one way or another.”

    Well Mrs. Savali, good to know you’re raising two little boys to be abusers and domestic violence offenders. smdh.

  • Jess

    Evelyn is Black – just not Afro-American. She is a Rican, and Afro-Latino, people

  • Jess

    evelyn, is. not. non-Black. geesh. she just isn’t afro-american/black american, but she is afro-latino. geeeeeeeeeeeeesh. ya know, an ethiopian isn’t a ghanain isn’t a nigerian isn’t a sudanese isn’t a….get it?

  • MimiLuvs

    How did you draw that conclusion from this statement? I’m just curious.
    I know a lot of parents who have the same feelings and notions, similar to Kirsten’s, if their children has been harmed.

  • Really?

    NO. She’s JUST Puerto Rican. Not all Puerto Ricans are black. She’s not a Afro-latina. She’s just a latina.

  • Really?

    The proof is in the pudding. Look at all these black women on here, happy, just plain happy that Evelyn got head butted. Damn shame. I’m not black women bashing. It’s the truth.

  • Really?

    Whoa. Low blow. LOL.

  • Anthony

    How is his reaction different from a woman who is slow to leave a violent partner? Having a penis does men that a man will act differently emotionally when he is in a violent relationship.

  • http://www.fashion-noble.org/lifestyle-and-beauty.html Noble Fashion

    I agree with the author. I think many folks lack compassion and have been treating Evelyn poorly.

  • MimiLuvs

    When did “Latino/Latina” become a race? Did the census bureau come out with an official document that declares Latino/Latina/Hispanic a race?

  • MimiLuvs

    @Really: When I read the comments, I read something differently.

  • MimiLuvs

    And… The abundant use of the word “karma”.

  • Not Karma

    This was a bad decision. If a woman head-butted Evelyn or beat her ass, then that’s Karma. You reap what you sow. Evelyn never beat a man’s ass. If you steal money, karma will come back in the form of you losing your job. If you still say this is Karma, did explain to me all the women that got their ass beat and didn’t lay a finger on anybody? Next, was it Karma when that man was beating your ass? or Was it your lack of judgment or a bad decision? You’re claiming it’s karma when in fact you’re just happy because of who it happened to.

  • teacher

    Yes, she did!

  • teacher

    That’s right, she isn’t. Besides she never hit anyone on the show. She only talked shit. I really don’t think she was ever going to fight. She instigated her friend. As for domestic violence, If he did hit her, he was wrong!!! wrong for hitting her, and wrong for cheating on her. Once a dog always a dog!

  • pb b

    A. The majority of depraved comments you hear about Evelyn are from young black males. They have even created a meme around her called #OchoThatH oee where they come up with reasons to headbutt women. Talk to them about their insensitivity, or is it just easier to pick on black women who express their opinions?

    B. Evelyn may or may not have black blood from way back in Puerto Rico, but she is NOT a black American woman by culture. She is a Latina woman. She was born and bred in the latino part of the Bronx. That is who she is and where she got her “ratchet” behavior from. Latinas like Evelyn do like to co-op black culture and use it to their benefit, but when it comes down to it they self-identify as something completely separate.

  • ChillyRoad

    No because like any bully she goes after weaker targets. Its poetic justice that, if these allegations are true, she was placed in the very same position she has placed so many black women.

    Its Karma of the most teachable type.

  • ChillyRoad

    MiMiLuvs

    She drew that conclusion because in our minds boys and men are meant to take abuse off of women because women are physically weaker.

  • ChillyRoad

    @Really?

    Actually Im waiting for Tami to meet Rayon McIntosh in a dark alley with a metal pole.

  • Overseas_Honeybee

    Domestic Violence is never ok … whether its a man or woman.

    However … in this case I firmly believe that the “chickens have come home to roast.” Evelyn sowed seeds of venom and the harvest landed right on her doorstop. Chad also sprinkled some seeds too and now both are sadly reaping the consequences.

    Call it what you will but for every action there is a reaction. There were red flags everywhere … yet they were ignored by both parties for the sake of a paycheck.

    I pray that both learn from this and focus now on getting their minds and priorities straight.

  • befree

    @Really. So you use to internet to determine how black women think?
    Just because some folks ain’t whooping/hollering and marching doesn’t mean they are happy.
    Log off please and have a seat.

  • befree

    You should have written an article on this for clutch.

  • Ms. Information

    She does not self identify as black…

  • Nadell

    As hot-headed, violent and surly Lozado is, I would NOT wish this upon her or any of the other evil-spirited bullies on that show. Violence against anyone is not acceptable. I’m positive she was terrified (from the police call) and felt helpless. I would not wish this type of instance on anyone.
    We do reap what we sow and she isn’t the most likeable individual but I certainly do not feel ‘happy’ about this happening to her…

  • http://gravatar.com/rastaman1967 Rastaman

    That would be the “chicken-heads have come home to roost.”

  • JGirl

    “shore” does not equal “sure”.
    wow.
    :-/

  • http://www.Realtalk123.com AlesiaMichelle

    The people who were and are still mad at Chris Brown were some of the first individuals going after Ev. I don’t like her or Chad, but this was not okay in any way shape or form.

  • Lady Aries

    As I said during an earlier conversation with a friend of mine, I don’t condone violence against either gender. But there seems to be a double standard in this society when it comes to this issue. If it’s a man abusing a woman, then we’re quick to say “lock him up” and “never hit a woman”, but what about when the shoe is on the other foot and the woman is the instigator? I have PERSONALLY seen women on numerous occasions beat on men relentlessly, just to get a reaction, and if he pushes her or slaps her on the cheek, then she calls the cops and wants to play the innocent victim. What role did she play? Some women get all in the man’s face, hit him, curse him out, damage his personal property/belongings and just won’t let up. Naturally, this gets to any rational person. Again, I’m not saying he is justified to beat on her. But why don’t we place as much emphasis on the situation when it applies to a female doing the crime? Evelyn has gotten violent with damn near the entire cast of Basketball Wives, it seems, and now all of a sudden, she wants to take a stand against domestic violence? Talk about a hypocrite.

    She and Chad both need a serious lesson in humility. Just my two cents.

  • Anansa

    You must not venture into any White blogs because you would not be able to state that Black women corner the market on all of those negative traits you assigned to us. The fact is if all the Black women you know of act as you just described, it says a lot about you for being with them. You know water sinks to it’s own level.

  • http://www.printableblankcalendars.net totg2009

    Excellent article! Thanks for speaking the truth!

  • http://chichisophisticationblog.com KeeKeeAllNatural

    Hey Anon, I totally hear your point. Isn’t she the same person who have been an advocate for violence on her show for nearly 5 years? Wasn’t she 100% against Jenn pressing charges on Nya for openly slapping her in the face? The list goes on and on. I am sick of the double standard. Stop provoking people to violence! The saying goes, “YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW!” She sowed violence & now she is reaping it.To get a head-butt to the face mean she was all up in his face. We’ve seen how she acts. She takes pride in being violent and unforgiving. This have nothing to do with Disliking Evelyn. Hopefully she take this situation as a lesson learned and start acting her age. She wants respect but have never presented herself in a respectable light. Oh, this is the same woman who had issues with Jenn & Kisha joining anti-bullying organizations I mean come on! I don’t feel sorry for this woman. I hope she eats this humble pie and learn from her mistakes. I hope she join & supports anti-violent causes and get the help she need for her anger.

  • Pema

    Evelyn is a supporter and perpetuator of violence as evidenced by her behavior on TV. No one deserves to be hit but I just cannot muster up an ounce of sympathy for either one of these abusers.

  • Q45

    Just a little side note. Jesus is not white. I know the Latin name makes him sound Caucasian but him and his people are equivalent to the modern day negro. Research my sistah!

  • http://gravatar.com/daluvelyladyl daluvelyladyl

    evelyn is a black latina. there are lots of those via the african diaspora. their culture and attitude is completely separate from african american, they didn’t borrow. they happen to be a part of the larger AFRICAN cultural umbrella. have a seat for saying something so ignant.

  • http://gravatar.com/daluvelyladyl daluvelyladyl

    over and over on the show she has identified her self as a black woman. season that they were in florida, she talks about being biracial in comparison to gloria who is also biracial, but mexican and black. the difference is that neither of them felt the need to card carry the fact that they are mixed like keisha did (suzie is also mixed chinese and white) they all just kind of played the role of ratchness, because that is what paid. not a racial healing session.

  • Overseas_Honeybee

    Boom!

  • Butt Heads Head-Butts

    It lasted 41 days and ended in a head-butt. LMAO.
    But I truly hope Evelyn finds the love she is looking for. I don’t like her but I feel sorry for her. I hope her next guy truly loves and respects her.

  • http://www.overflowradio.tv soulfullyreal

    There’s a difference between being “happy” she was assulted, and being indifferent about it. I think it’s more accurate to say that Evelyn’s attitude left a sour taste in many mouths, and because of that we don’t sympathized as much. Doesn’t mean we’re happy it happened.

  • Amber

    @daluvelyladyl:: At least spell ignorant correctly when trying to call someone out on it.

  • Amber

    @teacher :: Are you serious? She hit Jen on the side of her head with a purse and laughed about it and threw a wine bottle at someone else’s head! Both of those acts are violent. Our definitions of talking ish must be completely different if you can honestly say that with a straight face.

  • Newton’s 3rd Law

    I’m just wondering. . .If he head butted her hard enough to leave her with a 2-inch gash and a concussion, where is his bruise/bump? The sheer force of the act would have caused him some damage as well.

  • Seriously?

    The most I know about these kind of shows is because of blogs I go to however all I can say is that the situation already happen and hopefully she won’t let it be in vain. If she learn something from her actions, even if it is sympathy,empathy or revelation of abusive reality she lives, then the incident can hopefully make her a better person. From what I read she lacks empathy and is a confrontational. She has to know she is not a very like reality star yet she embraces and wraps around the foolishness of it all because shes trying to “brand” herself. I mean its obvious thats what she’s trying to do. Either way I wish her the best.

  • http://twitter.com/MaxineShawEsq Maxine Shaw (@MaxineShawEsq)

    You’re confusing happiness with apathy.

  • Patience

    1. Relevant
    2. Ignorant
    3. Ratchet

  • http://www.facebook.com/tinaswee Chanelle Dorton

    I’m not gone say I don’t like her cos I don’t know her personally me myself once I notice a man that tend to have flashes sometime he’s good but the bad part of him outweigh the good part of him–he got to go. I don’t even want to fall in love with him .I know eve did alot of that stuff on the show just 4 rating I’m not stupid in she married before– a man with money then again who want to marry a broke dude how can he help the family-I could never hate anyone that I don’t know personally –I like chad but I don’t want him something just don’t look right about him look in his eyes tell me what you see ?

  • 1rubyd

    Well said.

  • http://www.facebook.com/dbelnavis Denise Smiley Belnavis

    I don’t agree with the abuse, but I do think that he was stupid for getting involved with her. We’ve all see how out of control she gets when angry…did he think none of that anger would ever be towards him one day? Te only surprising thing about this to me is how soon it happened after they married. They both need help.

  • 1rubyd

    Domestic abuse on any level, involving anyone is NEVER okay. We still do not know all of the details and exactly what happened. However, I will say that Evelyn has proven time and time again how she is hot headed and can fly off the handle unjustly. It’s not that I don’t like her. I am not paid to like or dislike her, so I could care less. All I am saying is that the proof is in the pudding. If Chad did do that, he has a lot of growing to do and some soul searching because it’s NEVER okay to hit a woman. If Evelyn caused all of this and hit him, honestly, it really wouldn’t surprise me. I am just sadden that a marriage broke up over bullsh*t.

  • Noni

    Thank you @df I was appalled upon reading this post! It is passive aggressive, and disguised as a “sympathy piece”. The title alone, is horrific. No human being deserves abuse. I hope both individuals get the help they need.

  • http://mommaused2say.wordpress.com mommaused2say

    Remember the old saying, “You live by the gun then you die by the gun?” I never wished any ill will on Evelyn, however, I do believe you get what you give and I will honestly say that I feel that is what has happened to Evelyn. For me it is just the facts. She was abusive to women on her show. We all saw it and commented on it and we watched her dare anyone to say anything to her about it…then she was abused and it became a problem. It was always a problem and unfortunately, it took her getting hurt to see that putting your hands/head on someone in never right.

  • Adonis

    So you are implying it is okay for a woman to hit a man?

    Typical double standard women rarely address, but will holla about any & all perceived male advantages

  • Adonis

    Dude, you are soft. And that is part of the reason you attracted a woman like her.

    I don’t stand for it even if she is my wife and/or the mother of my child.

    You lay hands/feet/heat/weapon on me I am beating that @ss. So much that you gon wish you was Rihanna in the Lambo.

    Feminism is getting out of control with the double standards

  • http://gravatar.com/ohyeaohyea modern lady

    You reap what you sow. If you sow violence and anger, that’s what will come upon you. Only she and Chad know what happened, but we can definitely say with confidence that Ev is FAAAAAR from being an innocent woman.

  • http://dameanddamsel.com Dame and Damsel

    Id di watch the seri3s. The first 3 season of BW, I liked Evelyn a lot. The last season, I disliked her so much, I couldn’t watch more than 30 minutes of the entire season. That being said, the gleeful venom directed towards her is in part “the bully got her azz beat” and part “protect successful black men at all cost”.

    After all the discussions about the incident, the key is that men have an inherent advantage in case of domestic violence, in general, they are much stronger than women therefore are capable of causing injuries more seriously and much more often.

    I disagree with the author, why would a woman in her right mind, even Evelyn, cause injury to herself by headbutting man. It’s much more likely that a frustrated, hyped up NFL player (who was having issues on the field) would decide “I can hurt her without actually “hitting” her…yeah, head butting is the answer!” I you said Ev slapped him or threw something at him, I could see that.

    I can’t imagine how devastating this must be in general, then for it play out in the public eye….

  • http://www.retailobsessed.com LT

    Evelyn is obnoxious, violent, loud and frankly I don’t don’t care for her. But as a woman, I couldn’t imagine a man, my husband, head-butting me. No one deserves that, not even Evelyn. However, he knew who he married, he should have known that at some point he may find himself wanting to put his hands on her because she’s that kind of girl. She’s very angry and in your face and thinks she’s above being hit even if she’s about to throw a vase or a wine bottle at you. People with that mind-set are loose cannons and why he married someone so mentally unstable in the first place is beyond me.

  • http://Facebook Lisa Scott

    I honestly belive that Evelyn may have been the one who head butted Ocho (or whatever he calls himself ) given her past actions.. I wouldnt doubt that for a secound

  • Abuse is wrong

    Let’s put it like this, the phrase “women are catty” is no joke. I’m a woman, and no I was really not feeling Evelyn’s actions on BBW. However, I was way more sickened by the reaction of many women when it came to abuse. Women tend to be harder on other women in most cases (and that’s not just women of color).

    But I thought this went to far. I agree with the article, except the author inserting her opinion about Evelyn most likely starting the fight. I thought that in itself was hypocritical of the overall post. The point is if we want to get technical, Ocho does have a history of domestic violence against women. And even the police officers who reported the fight said the evidence points to her story being true.

    While I wouldn’t put hitting, scratching, yelling/cussing above Evelyn (or many women for that matter) I don’t think she would have headbutted him. I just really doubt that. No, neither of these people are perfect…neither are we. And both of them have history of violence, so it’s up for the courts to decide if it goes there.

    But one thing for sure, some people’s reaction to her pain…which represents the pain (not just physical) of many abused women says way more about themselves than it does about Ms. Lozada. Remember bullying isn’t always physical. Don’t become a bully yourself, in the “name of righteousness”.

  • Lola

    LMFAO!!! SPEED KNOT EV!!! THAT’S WHAT HER GOLD DIGGING A$$ GET!!!!! DON’T FEEL SORRY FOR HER NO WAY!

  • Pingback: Know Your Place, Sir: How Ochocinco Messed Up (CCL 34) « chocolatecoveredliesdotcom

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