Even uglier than the domestic violence dispute that erupted over the weekend between Chad “Never Met a Camera I Don’t Like” Johnson, and Evelyn “If It’s Glass, I Will Smash It” Lozada, is the almost satanic glee some women have expressed over the physical abuse of another woman.
Disclaimer: I vehemently reject the notion that in all cases of domestic violence, the woman is innocent of any wrong-doing. I know how some of us get down and it’s not pretty. You all remember when Cedric “The Entertainer” said, “White people ‘hope’ things don’t happen; black people ‘wish’ they would”? As the mother of two boys (and another little fella who will be here in 47 days and counting) I wish a woman would lay hands on my babies for no good reason. Somebody is going to suffer some consequences and repercussions. I’m not saying physically; I’m just saying someone is going to feel it one way or another.
But I digress….
The curious case of Johnson and Lozada doesn’t seem to be your usual display of unchecked aggression, rather an odd one. Seriously, who head-butts someone? According to the police report, there was no other physical contact and the way some people are responding you would think that 1) he took her to the mat, and 2) she deserved every ounce of pain that came her way.
That is the most ignorant logic I have ever heard in my life.
Year after year, boycott after boycott, we have been subjected to protestations and proclamations that we’re above violence. We’re better than that and those low-class strumpets who watch these shows should be ashamed of themselves. We, as black women, should feel insulted that we are portrayed in such a negative fashion in the media. We are Nubian Queens who should be placed on pedestals of distinction at all times and worshiped as the mothers of civilization that we are.
That is, until a loud, bully of a Latina allegedly gets head-butted by her husband; then those same women become hounds on the trail of blood.
Because she deserved it, didn’t she? Lozada, with her loud, obnoxious, “I’m about this life” attitude deserved to feel pain and humiliation; she deserved to feel so helpless that she was compelled to flee to a neighbor’s house; and she deserved to have her marriage disintegrate in a public trash compactor for everyone’s amusement and “I told you so” satisfaction.
At least, that’s what the hypocrites say.
I’m going to be honest. I have a much easier time believing Johnson’s version of events. According to him, she screamed and head-butted him. If we are to base an assumption on anything, it should be precedent. And nothing in Lozada’s cache makes me believe she sat there distraught over Johnson’s infidelity and ran, frightened, from the vehicle after he assaulted her. I would wager all my money on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” that it did not go down like that. Still, even those who watch the show, who know how Lozada presents herself, are wishing that she finally knows what it feels like to be bullied. They hope that he did it, because it would make their small little day complete.
Let’s run with that hypothesis for a minute for kicks and giggles, and say Lozada was the victim in this situation. Have some people really become so vested in this show that they can take joy in another woman’s real pain? I’ve seen comments from people who would lie to the face of white, blonde-haired baby Jesus and say they never watched “Basketball Wives” a day in their lives, but boy do they seem to know a lot of details now. Under no circumstances is it acceptable for a man to strike a woman in anger. I wouldn’t care if she dared him to do it; I wouldn’t care if she lashed out over a condom receipt, a porno, and a three-legged stripper waiting in bed for a threesome, there is never cause for a man to instigate abuse against a woman. Further, there is never reason for grown-ups with full vocabularies to aggressively invade the personal space of another grown person to resolve conflict — regardless of gender. What this sordid reaction reveals about a lot of people is that they’re not really against violence; they’re just against it when it’s popular, convenient, and makes them appear more socially conscious than they really are.
Lozada is the woman some people love to hate, and as such, her alleged meeting with a “bad bitch” name Karma is something that gives them satisfaction. Period. They aren’t interested in details. They don’t care if she suffered a concussion or worse. They don’t even care if it’s true or not; they just wish that it is and probably chuckle to themselves as her personal “You got knocked the f**k out” moment plays over and over again in their heads. Sad to say, and they probably don’t even realize it, but that says a lot more about their character than it could ever say about her.