I’m still holding out hope that marriage doesn’t mean you have to give up your dreams so much as you just have to be okay with realizing them at a slower pace and with other people (husband/kids) along for the ride. I can deal with delayed gratification; can’t deal with giving up one for the other, though.
Marriage means what you make it mean. People often think of marriage in a vacuum – assuming that marriage is a fixed constant that you opt into or out of. Marriage is merely a partnership between YOU and the person who FITS BEST with YOU. Don’t assume marriage means anything more than that. There is no play book. You’re half of your own marriage equation, so what you really really want should always be close at hand. If you want to travel the world, have kids in your late 30s, be an artist, learn to fly a plane, and seek out the world’s greatest churro (or whatever), your partnership should be built to support that. If it isn’t, you probably won’t dig it that much anyway…
As for me, most of my married friends (and I) just happen to prioritize the traditional family stuff right up there with the other goals. And since I’ve learned I can’t be in two places at once, I’m cool with planning, pacing, and prioritizing my dreams.
You really have to throw all of that ‘what I’m supposed to do by a certain age’ out the window. You have to life life today. What ever opportunities present itself at whatever time is what you have to work with. At least you know what you want. If you want to wait for family until ur 30s or early 40s I would strongly suggest you speak to your OBGYN and talk about freezing ur eggs. Or at least talk about the state of your reproductive system. You can not assume that you will just pop kids out when u are ready.
I’m still holding out hope that marriage doesn’t mean you have to give up your dreams so much as you just have to be okay with realizing them at a slower pace and with other people (husband/kids) along for the ride. I can deal with delayed gratification; can’t deal with giving up one for the other, though.
Marriage means what you make it mean. People often think of marriage in a vacuum – assuming that marriage is a fixed constant that you opt into or out of. Marriage is merely a partnership between YOU and the person who FITS BEST with YOU. Don’t assume marriage means anything more than that. There is no play book. You’re half of your own marriage equation, so what you really really want should always be close at hand. If you want to travel the world, have kids in your late 30s, be an artist, learn to fly a plane, and seek out the world’s greatest churro (or whatever), your partnership should be built to support that. If it isn’t, you probably won’t dig it that much anyway…
As for me, most of my married friends (and I) just happen to prioritize the traditional family stuff right up there with the other goals. And since I’ve learned I can’t be in two places at once, I’m cool with planning, pacing, and prioritizing my dreams.
Blessings :-)
You really have to throw all of that ‘what I’m supposed to do by a certain age’ out the window. You have to life life today. What ever opportunities present itself at whatever time is what you have to work with. At least you know what you want. If you want to wait for family until ur 30s or early 40s I would strongly suggest you speak to your OBGYN and talk about freezing ur eggs. Or at least talk about the state of your reproductive system. You can not assume that you will just pop kids out when u are ready.