Over the weekend Iyanla Vanzant debuted her new show, Iyanla Fix My Lifeon OWN, and boy was it a doozy.

Although Vanzant had been working with basketball star Evelyn Lozada before she filed charges against her husband, former NFL player Chad Johnson, for domestic violence, due to the questions surrounding the incident, the timing of the premiere couldn’t be more perfect.

During the two-part show, we watched as Lozada struggled work through some of her issues from childhood, her baggage from past relationships, her infamous spats with her Baskbetball Wives costars, and her troubled relationship with Johnson. At the end of the first episode, Lozada seemed to be having a breakthrough and even apologized to her children (which included Johnson’s children) for how she carried herself on TV. But it was the explosive second episode that had folks talking.

In the follow-up to Lozada’s initial appearance, Vanzant aimed to get to the crux of Evelyn’s relationship issues with men, and in one poignant scene, she admitted her deepest fears and exactly why her marriage to Johnson ended so quickly.

While I watched the show, I couldn’t help but walk away with a few key points:

Daddy issues can last a lifetime: Many of Evelyn’s issues with men, and her husband Chad, seemed to stem from her non-existent relationship with her father. While the phrase “Daddy Issues” has become a clichéd catch-all for women behaving badly, our relationship with our parents can seriously affect the rest of our lives in both positive and negative ways.

Listen to your instincts: During the interview, Evelyn mentioned that she knew her relationship with Chad wasn’t ideal, but she swallowed her doubts anyway because she wanted to be loved (and married). Too often women get caught up in negative situations because we don’t listen to our intuition, and Evelyn’s very public, very messy ordeal is yet another reminder to follow our first minds. 

Iyanla Vanzant is an AMAZNG counselor: She’s not one of Oprah’s trusted spiritual guru’s for nothing. During the interview Ms. Vanzant READ Evelyn and helped her see how some of her patterns contributed to her current predicament. Through pointed questions, genuine concern, and insightful wisdom, Ms. Vanzant’s ability to help people see their pathologies and choose different paths for themselves is truly amazing.

Did you watch Evelyn Lozada’s interview with Iyanla Vanzant? What did you think? 

  • LaNubiana

    This woman surely is talking too much for someone who is supposedly is going through a lot. Is anything sacred anymore?

    She doesn’t need therapy, she needs a holyman to reintroduce her to the higher purpose.

  • http://stilletosandapen.wordpress.com D’OR

    If you have issues….they must be resolved. point blank. I actually wrote about this on my blog =)

  • lulabelle

    This is my new favorite show. Iyanla was great … I want her to fix my life, though it is far less dramatic.

  • http://Getme-lolly.blogspot.com Getmelolly

    Inyanla is truely a minister of God. No more to say

  • jeannine Blackwell

    I don’t think people have ever connected with Evelyn because they never saw anything but her bullying the other ladies on the show. I won’t judge her because it seems she has a lot of things that she has to sort out. I do believe that she was abused by her new husband even before they married….I also see she as daddy issues.I have changed my mind about how she is because my heart just goes out to her. It’s hard to want love but not understand how to behave in a relationship. Let the walls down girl.let go of the past and realize your dad was the best he could be and it shouldn’t ruin the rest of your life.

  • ChillyRoad

    I will judge her because she is a violent predator. Her and Tami are violent predators and I would rather be in a room with a wild pit bull than any of these “women.”

  • Yb

    I didn’t watch the interview with Evelyn (I think all my sympathy has depleted) but I am interested in watching Iyanla’s show. Seems really inspirational.

  • http://gravatar.com/clnmike Tonton Michel

    I tell you what I learned, you can stretch the hell out of 15 minutes of fame, and there is a career in being a jump off.

  • http://aol Maria

    I am in total agreement with ChillyRoad. I don’t believe for a minute Evelyn is serious about getting better — she is only interested in staying in the limelight and making money. Both she and Tami are poor examples for young minority girls and their daughters.

  • Heide

    Amen and Amen!!

  • Heide

    Sorry my Amens was to Tonton Michel’s comment.

  • Ms. Information

    One thing I learned…men who legally change their name to Ochocinco probably need a psych evaluation and probably won’t make the best husbands.

  • MzAKA

    My mind is not changed. She apologized for her behavior because advertizer’s started pulling out of the show. Basketball Wives was getting alot of critcism, mainly because of Evelyn walking across tables with a knife. Iynala Fix My Life is just another self-help reality show like Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz. If Evelyn was really repentent she would have taken the issue to her pastor and sought legitimate counse outside of the spotlightl, not televised couseling to save the OWN network.

  • Caro

    Yes she could have done this in private, but it takes tremendous courage to bare your real fears and insecurities out there for the public to see.

    Also her situation is one that many women who are in abusive relationships can relate to. Woman can start to ask themselves the hard questions iyanla asked and do the hard work on themselves to figure out why they are in abusive relationships, and start finding their worth and their inner Queen and leave their insecurities, “daddy issues”, self-esteem issues and leave abusive partners!

    Watch the episode you will see it is not just like any reality self-help show. It is real therapy and hard counseling.

  • justanotheropinion

    @Tonton Michel – The truth is very often the saddest reality there is.

    Look, we all got issues – every damn one of us. I am certainly no exception. Stop blaming your parents for what you got, didn’t get, wish you had, deserved, etc. Man up. Been a long time since any of us were children and you should have enough sense and concern for your mental & physical well being that you decide to fix your damn self. Your parents actions or inactions may have started the car (the 2mi mark), but you’ve been driving it for a while now (mile 100+). Admit you’ve been on the wrong road and change things FOR YOURSELF.

    I realize she has bills to pay, but if your ish is really in shambles (like her’s seems to be), time to take a break from the ‘fame game’ and get some help to become a better person for yourself first, and then your kid(s). She admitted there were signs before. She saw it and elected to ignore it. Iyanla called her out and said the only reason she cried “foul” this time is because she got hit in the face for all to see and that you can no longer hide from that. Sad it came to this. Lucky it wasn’t worse. Seems even more shameless that she is willing to sacrifice any dignity she may harbor inside for a buck.

    Evelyn needs to do herself a favor and “go quietly into the good night”. If she comes out healed on the other end and still needs to make a buck (although I really hope not), Reality TV will still be around (sadly).

    Ladies, we owe it to ourselves. As Iyanla said – it’s your Majesty.

  • mEE

    um sorry Evelyn, no. you need more people.

  • Marisa

    Mine is not changed either because this woman had several seasons of reunions and her behavior was played back and still thought nothing of it. I also saw when Iyanla was showing her the clips of Evilyn’s greatest hits,she smirked when she hopped on the table to fight Jen. Yeah I caught the smirk and she had an excuse for everything. I learned one thing I find it funny that all these Evilyn defenders are preaching about forgiveness and she’s troubled,needs healing,is in pain. Flag on the play this same bunch were many who gassed her head up calling her a bad bish,a gangsta for tossing bottles,glasses and her purse. They thought it was cute just like she did tweeting Jen,Royce and Kenya that Evilyn was gonna beat them down hehe. It was all good just a year ago wasnt lol, also she trashed her friendship with Jen hope I truly hope she NEVER resumes that friendship again. That stunt Evilyn pulled in Tahiti killed any chance of a friendship hopes Jen would be a fool in even consider it.

  • http://gravatar.com/nolakiss16 binks


  • Ms. Write

    Wow! Everyone making these harsh comments about Evelyn must know sooo much about her based on Basketball Wives. SMH

  • Ms. Information

    She pretty much showed who she was on that show….I haven’t ever raised my hand to another woman or man and I am 34…her behaviour is unacceptable.

  • DJ

    I appreciate Evelyn for confronting her issues. I am happy she confronted them publicly because there are plenty of women who needed to hear the wisdom and encouragement from Iyanla Vazant. If Evelyn was not impacted by Iyanla Vazant, some young woman somewhere heard that counsel and she is making adjustments in her thinking.

  • mamareese

    I think she’s learned from this. There is a redeemable quality in every person….if God can forgive……..

  • cocochanel31

    This second episode was not as profound as people made it. Iyanla did allll the taking and Evelyn followed up with a few yes’es and umm hmms but I did not see any breakthrough or real deep AHA moments that she didn’t know about already. I’ll have to see the first one to see if it was any differnet. I like Iyanla but alot of times she just likes to hear herself talk and it takes away from the true healing and a person’s real breakthrough. It’s almost better to read her books.

  • Sister Bernice

    First off if Iyanla can fix her life in 48 (2 days of filming) hours why are we still in Iraq and Afghanistan? Better yet why the hell is Mitt Romney running for President? If she has that power why isn’t she letting people just touch the hem of her garment? Man this frackle knackle bull is all so she can become relevant. I think Michael Jackson’s monkey, Bubbles has a better chance of saving her life than Iyanla Vanzant!!! I think both Evelyn and Iyanla should go to church and repent cause watching that made me feel like I committed a sin. If she’s sorry then the President should be Ricky Bobby!!!!

    They need to call this show “get your life!!”

  • http://www.sodivinemagazine.com Shenelle

    1 Profound thing I learned from Iyanla, “Vote for You!”

  • Alexandra

    It seems like a great show. I look forward to hearing the advice Iyanla shares.
    I didn’t watch the premiere, because this woman was on it. I’ll begin watching when everyday people appear.

  • Jill

    Mzaka: “take the issue to her pastor” RU serious??

  • Jill

    Sister: Wow!!! UR taking this whole thing much too seriously. After all Basketball Wives, and Iyanla’s show are both just entertainment. Nothing more….nothing less

  • Vuka Kumalo

    Daddy issues or not, the way that she carries on in front of the cameras is disgusting… She as a person is revolting and just wanted to get her face on tv yet again.

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