Over the weekend Iyanla Vanzant debuted her new show, Iyanla Fix My Life, on OWN, and boy was it a doozy.
Although Vanzant had been working with basketball star Evelyn Lozada before she filed charges against her husband, former NFL player Chad Johnson, for domestic violence, due to the questions surrounding the incident, the timing of the premiere couldn’t be more perfect.
During the two-part show, we watched as Lozada struggled work through some of her issues from childhood, her baggage from past relationships, her infamous spats with her Baskbetball Wives costars, and her troubled relationship with Johnson. At the end of the first episode, Lozada seemed to be having a breakthrough and even apologized to her children (which included Johnson’s children) for how she carried herself on TV. But it was the explosive second episode that had folks talking.
In the follow-up to Lozada’s initial appearance, Vanzant aimed to get to the crux of Evelyn’s relationship issues with men, and in one poignant scene, she admitted her deepest fears and exactly why her marriage to Johnson ended so quickly.
While I watched the show, I couldn’t help but walk away with a few key points:
Daddy issues can last a lifetime: Many of Evelyn’s issues with men, and her husband Chad, seemed to stem from her non-existent relationship with her father. While the phrase “Daddy Issues” has become a clichéd catch-all for women behaving badly, our relationship with our parents can seriously affect the rest of our lives in both positive and negative ways.
Listen to your instincts: During the interview, Evelyn mentioned that she knew her relationship with Chad wasn’t ideal, but she swallowed her doubts anyway because she wanted to be loved (and married). Too often women get caught up in negative situations because we don’t listen to our intuition, and Evelyn’s very public, very messy ordeal is yet another reminder to follow our first minds.
Iyanla Vanzant is an AMAZNG counselor: She’s not one of Oprah’s trusted spiritual guru’s for nothing. During the interview Ms. Vanzant READ Evelyn and helped her see how some of her patterns contributed to her current predicament. Through pointed questions, genuine concern, and insightful wisdom, Ms. Vanzant’s ability to help people see their pathologies and choose different paths for themselves is truly amazing.