An interesting thing happened in yesterday’s post about ABC’s political drama Scandal. While most said they were excited for the show’s return to primetime, longtime reader and frequent commenter Val brought up another interesting dynamic.

Val wrote:

I predict that Kerry Washington’s character will never date a Black man on the show. Lol

Don’t get me wrong; I have no problem with IR relationships on TV. But when you consider that all of the ‘attractive’ Black women on network TV are dating White men, then you have to consider that something is going on.

Kerry’s character is dating a White guy, Vanessa Williams’ character is (666 Park Ave), Joy Bryant is (Parenthood), Anika Noni Rose’s is (The Good Wife) and there are more.

TV is fantasy for White people. And that’s why the White guys get all of the ‘attractive’ women. We have to be aware of what messages are being sent when we watch TV. That’s really all I’m saying.

Her comment made me think.

When it comes to network TV, there is already a shortage of well-written black characters. Unlike the ‘90s and early 2000s, sitcoms and dramas featuring African American casts just don’t exist anymore. So is it merely coincidence that many of the interesting black female characters on TV today are paired with white men or is something deeper at play?

American TV isn’t the only one that often depicts (or promotes, considering who you ask) interracial couples. British TV is also rife with diverse coupling, often pairing a show’s black character with someone of another race. From Luther and to Dr. Who, to Misfits and Torchwood, interracial couples seem commonplace on UK television, while couples where both individuals are black are somewhat rare.

As our communities become increasingly diverse (read: brown), the images we see depicted in our media should reflect these changes.

But with the majority of black folks married to, and dating, each other, is the media trying to encourage interracial dating and mating? Or is the increased black/white/other coupling we see on some of network TV’s most popular shows merely a reflection of real life?

Speak on it folks!

  • Charle

    You answered your own question: TV IS promoting interracial relationships for black women–provided they’re with white men.

    I don’t think I’d have much of an issue with this pairing if it wasn’t the ONLY one I ever see in TV and movies. Black women date every race of men you can think of, from Asian to Puerto Rican, but flipping past channels, you’d never know it. And the fact that the people pitching and casting these shows are white men means that their definition of “interracial” is white + someone of color. Can we have more diversity than that? I don’t think I know anyone whose dating pools are strictly black or white, and it’d be awesome to have that reflected, if not by the writers of these shows, then by us.

  • Tonton Michel

    The media is catering to white males with these pairings they could care less about the social/politics behind it. Now if your vision is short sighted you may see this as a plus. But if look at the big picture this is just as damaging as saying IR should not be promoted.

  • Cice

    As a fan of Parenthood (the show made me cry a couple of times) and the only TV show that me and my kids watch together that is Joy Bryant and not Paula Patton.

  • Lynette

    Gabrielle Union was cast in a romantic relationship opposite John Cho, a Korean in the short lived Flash Forward.

  • African Mami

    My question is this, how powerful is media as a medium that we have forgotten to think for ourselves? We know what is going on within our communities, we know how the media views us, so then it becomes a question of, why are we giving the media so much power and feeding into its BS? Interracial relationships ARE a reality, but not generalizable to the whole community. The mainstream media is not here to cajole black women, or people of color. Again, we either own OUR narratives, or sit back quietly and let the mainstream bombard us with their skewed version of our narrative.

  • Eric

    They are sending a message for well to do black folks

  • jamesfrmphilly

    a black person with self knowledge has no interest in IR

  • African Mami

    I have self knowledge, and I’m attracted to Polynesian men. What do you say to that one, j-philly?

  • cocochanel31

    well they usually have a brotha with a Becky I’m not mad if a sista finds “something new” to love on TV…we can go both ways as well….

  • Lynette

    My post was in response to Charle, who stated that the only IRs on TV are black women/white men. Also, Regina King’s character in Southland was in a brief relationship with a Latino

  • Jess

    I have to be honest here, I think that interracial relationships just mirror what is commonplace in society. I can only speak about where I live, but in my college educated, upper middle class locale of Northern Virginia (right outside of D.C.) I rarely see a Black couple. Meaning both parties are Black. The norm is in fact the mixed relationship, for both Black men and women. So much so that my brother was visiting me from Atlanta one day, and we went out to brunch, he was quite surprised to find that in the restaurant that Sunday, of the many, many couples, none were Black. Black people sure, but not Black couples. I think that this becomes more and more common as tax brackets increase. Probably because in day to day life for higher earners, they come across fewer and fewer Black people.

  • Jess

    I have self knowledge, and I’ll date whomever I damn well please. Whomever treats me with love, affection, respect and appreciation. He could be green and I’d be proud as hell to call him my boo.

  • Eric

    This is MOTR. Eff what you heard.

    We do not own the media. And even if a black person (Tyler Perry perfect example) had the CASHOLA, & owned a studio, you still gotta play by THEIR rules.

    And this is not about the adults (25 & over.) This is about conditioning black children.

    I am so cool with IR dating, gays, etc. I like Beckyville, I still don’t want it PUSHED IN MY FACE all the time. Date quality people across the board.

    BW need to take a similar stance.

  • Luci

    As a black woman in an interracial marriage, I can tell you that BW/WM pairings make up precious few of IRs as a whole. So yeah, TV is being weird and acting like everybody’s doing it, when really hardly anybody is.

    I think it’s got just as much to do with white discomfort re: BW/BM relationships as disinterest in watching shows that feature only non-stereotypical PoC.

  • Nesheaholic

    You know who was a happy black couple on TV? Tracee and Malcolm on Reed Between the Lines, but ya’ll didn’t like that show lol

  • apple

    don’t understand the paula patton comment but …isn’t parenthood an amazing show…i love everyones story.. i kind of hope to have a family that big and close one day

  • Marcos Moreira

    I don’t see this as coincidence at all. With the “Something New” movement going on, it’s a clear agenda. I would also like to add Brazil to the mix here. On Brazilian television, black couples do not exist! Whether it’s the “Dança das Famosas” section of a popular variety show that is basically a copy of “Dancing With the Stars” or the ever popular novelas, Afro-Brazilians are extremely underrepresented on TV and when they are part of a show’s cast, they are ALWAYS matched with a white actor/actress. It’s the norm. A couple either consists of a white man/white woman or a black man/white woman, white man/black woman couple. In Brazil there has always been a plan to whiten the population by encouraging interracial relationships so it’s not a surprise that this is happening on American TV as IRs become more and more common:

  • Jess

    That’s because that show sucked, it was poorly written.This is another issue, why should we feel obliged to watch/support something just because it’s Black? In my opinion, it also has to be worthwhile/quality. Not just any old damn thing. Contrary to popular belief many of us Black people have standards and would love to see that reflected on tv and in movies. .

  • binks

    May sound jaded but I don’t think the media is trying to encourage interracial dating/pairing but more like trying to cover all their bases when it comes to viewership honestly. Think about it, would Scandal still be the talk of the town if the president in that show was black that Keri Washington’s character was with? If you switch Vanessa William with a white actress in 666 Park Avenue would it impact or greatly change the show? In theory it shouldn’t but rating doesn’t read like that, they don’t want to make it an all “white show” nor don’t want to make it a TRULY “diverse show” but think because they have 1 or 2 characters “of color” as regulars then they HAVE to pair them with someone and usually as Val mention they are more than likely paired with white or nonblack character as the love interest 9/10, that is who is usually leftover so it may not be by choice but because it wraps things up or they are trying to rake in viewers. Despite the great examples of black couples on TV and in real life of past and preset the media is truly clueless about black relationships, especially power relationships, unless it is the stereotypical one.

  • LaNubiana

    I can see why it’s promoted towards black women as black man don’t need it… They have already bought the bloody ‘want babies with good hair’ rubbish long ago and run to white or other race of women… Bloody shameful!

  • Lola

    Is interracial shows discuss when a black men is in one? No but a few shows with black women with other races of men cause a problem. Black men will be the first to say you (black women) donot own us and we can do what we what be it in real or fictional relationships with non-blacks. Black women who are or may not be in interracial relationships like shows like this bc it shows a different type of black women. This is for the “nothing but a brother” black women if you don’t like shows with interracial couples do not watch.

  • doubledup

    It to sell black women to a general audience. It’s about money and advertisers. How many time does George Lucas, Tyler Perry, or any other television executive have to tell us that black life is exotic but not mainstream thus there are no bucks for functional, loving black love on t.v. or in the movies. Rating talk to advertisers and they tell us that if you want to be on primetime white networks then you better embrace the swirl

  • Desi

    Oh please! We can’t have it both ways. Many black women complain that society doesn’t see us as beautiful and that if a white man wanted us it was only becuz of sexual reasons. Now that we have shows showing that white men do love us and would indeed date and even marry us, we are complaining about that. I love that shows are doing this!

  • heide

    Jess, I have to agree that it’s a reflection of today’s society. I live in California & work in entertainment and IR relationships are totally common. I see it everyday & in different income levels. I work for one of if not the largest studio in the business and a while back I went to a movie on the lot and I can honestly say I lost count of how many black women were with white men & other races as well. But I’ve seen that my whole life. Not just black & white couples but various races of people dating. So I think they’re trying to portray a lot of what people see in real life now. You don’t just see black couples you see a lot of IR couples and families. I mean there’s a whole generation of mixed/biracial/multiracial kids and families out there. Just my two cents.

  • Colette Marcheline (@Cognorati001)

    I think a lot of it is unconscious: I actually believe Whites would like Black people to be fully assimilated/bred out of the American population. Why? Because they are uncomfortable with obvious physical and cultural differences and they have no intention of addressing their own discriminatory responses based on White Supremacist indoctrination.

    Think about: White ethnics essentially assimilated/ bred themselves out so that there is no historic and cultural identity among White people. They see this as almost a panacea for racial tension (we’ve all heard the “If they’d [Blacks] just stop using the hyphenated American thing, racism would go away!). I think they unconsciously felt that if Blacks would be like them in every way — including reproducing racially ambiguous people — they wouldn’t be put in the predicament of those uncomfortable racist feelings and actions they have towards Blacks.

    If Blacks show consent for assimilation and take steps towards it — or display acceptable Blackness — we suddenly become more empathetic or approachable.

    I’m saying this as a racially ambiguous, mixed immigrant. I’ve had the unfortunate experience of being the one Black person in every circumstance and they do articulate how they “really” feel, I why people like me are supposedly more acceptable.

  • Lola

    Agree 100%

  • Colette Marcheline (@Cognorati001)

    That’s in California.

    I am temporarily living in the Deep South (small town Georgia) and there are practically zero inter-racial relationships. NONE. In fact, I have rarely seen inter-racial gatherings of friends.

    Living in diverse, non-Southern areas gives the impression that the country has really changed and that the entire country is on the same page — but we’re not.

    What I’ve learned here is that American racism — particularly Southern racism — may be the most pathological and virulent in the world. These people truly believe that race is insurmountable and will categorize people and will live their lives according to widely held White Supremacist doctrines, including those concerning interracial dating.

  • Jess

    Geez, I sure do hope that you get to leave BumF*ck Georgia soon!! Get thee to Alexandria, VA with a quickness!! But you’re right because it’s so common here, and like Heide said in California, (and other urban areas) I do assume that it’s like that in the rest of the country. That perhaps America was becoming if not “post racial”, then at least progressive. To hear that the south is still largely stuck in 1892 is disappointing. I have a friend who is a teacher. She was living in Alabama when her kids were younger. She ended up moving, and when I asked why she said that it was because racial lines are incredibly prevalent in Alabama–still. And that they are not to be crossed–not even for purely platonic socializing. She simply didn’t want to raise her children like that, so she moved to Louisville Kentucky. I figured Kentucky would be more of the same, but she was adamant that it was progressive compared to Alabama.

  • ?!?

    They fill their quota but don’t go over. I mean just about every black character male or female on network television is either not dating anyone and is the relationshipless but happy and single best friend with sage advice or he/she’s in an interracial relationship.

    A black relationship would involve not one but TWO black characters.

    Personally I don’t have a problem with interracial relationships being shown. As someone mentioned above, at least these are normal relationships that go into marriage and stuff and not just hookups. I have a problem with there never being any black couples. Black couples are more common than interracial ones throughout the country. Maybe not in your neck of the woods but in the whole country, they are. I don’t think TV reflects that.

  • rkahendi

    I would draw a distinction between American and British TV. American TV tends to show mainstream viewers what they want to see. Most things that would make them uncomfortable are edited out. In other words, the portrayals are “engineered” to promote high ratings. British TV operates on a somewhat different logic. Yes, ratings matter, but they don’t spoonfeed their audiences to the same degree that Americans do.

    It’s also important to note that the most prominent minority in the UK is of South Asian origin, usually Muslim. So if we’re gonna be drawing direct comparisons between the two nations, it would make sense to compare the portrayal of South Asians on British TV with that of Blacks on American TV. In addition, I get the impression that interracial relationships are less of a big deal in the UK than in the US. (Perhaps I am wrong about this. My insights are based on my own observations, not on any actual statistics.) Also, I’ve noticed that black and South Asian actors in Britain sometimes get roles that were initially written with white characters in mind. Case in point: Navin Chowdhry, who acted as Kurt McKenna in Teachers.

    I have to say, though, over the years, I have seen plenty of British shows with black couples and black families, including Dr. Who (Martha Jones’s parents were both black, weren’t they?).

    While we’re on this subject, we should ask other questions about American TV portrayals of blacks: Most of them seem to be uniform. Watching them, you’d be hard put to believe there was any diversity in the black community or a variety of black cultures in America. Why is that the case?

  • comment

    I have certainly noticed it. But don’t have any problem with it. This is the trend now, a lot of sisters are dating outside of their race now, quiet as kept. That’s any black PERSON’S prerogative — do what makes you happy.

  • Rue

    wink wink on the “something new” pun!! LOL

  • rkahendi

    “White ethnics essentially assimilated/ bred themselves out so that there is no historic and cultural identity among White people.”

    I have to disagree with this. I think your observation has more to do with the communities you have lived among than with white people as a whole. The white people whose communities I have lived in identify as Russian, Ukranian, Greek, Italian, Jewish, Scots-Irish, German etc. Many of them still make an effort to keep the “old language” alive. Most of them are still members of the same Christian denominations as their immigrant great (great) grandparents. At the family level, many of their family traditions can be traced to their ethnic origins. There is definitely historic and cultural identity among white people.

  • LaNubiana

    @ heide 

    It is also do to the fact that white men are tired of white women and that’s according to white sources.  Many white men come here to Ethiopia in the hopes of finding a woman to marry, which is quiet disturbing.  However, I once took the time to ask one I met (who asked me to help him find a wife because I spoke English :) why he isn’t seeking to marry his kind? (in our culture we are taught to stick to our kind for cultural, moral, and religious reasons) The man replied that and I quote “American women particularly ‘white women’ are selfish, permiscuous, entitled, materialistic, loose morals, vengeful, sexual deviant, and they are too quick to divorce and take the kids and the house.” 

    This triggered my interest so I did a bit of a research and found out that according to a survey conducted in recent years WHITE AMERICAN WOMEN ARE THE LEAST DESIRED FOR MARRIAGE IN THE WORLD.  This survey was conducted on European men, Asian men, several different foreign men living in America and white men… African American male participants were the only ones were who answered indifferent (I will try to find and site this survey).  The majority of foreign men reasoned that its because they were too masculine in attitude and aggressive while European men labeled them uncultured and materialistic.  

    There also has been a big increase in the number of American white men traveling abroad seeking partners.  I know that an article I’ve read once stated that white American men frequent Russia, Thailand, China, several African Countries and more in search of wives.  You can find hundreds of them here in Addis, just lurking around very creepy rather.  

    Anyway, I believe the above reasons have a lot to do with white men actually dating/marrying African American or black women in general (instead of just fulfilling some sexual fantasy).  I don’t know if you are familiar but there are several online forums, blogs, and website dedicated to boycotting American white women.  Check out the one below: 

    Over half a million blog post on why they hate them… Unbelievable!

  • Rue

    “Geez, I sure do hope that you get to leave BumF*ck Georgia soon!! ”
    Girl, don’t you know that some of us are at work?! I literally am clutching my sides laughing and tears are coming soon!
    That being said I read the first sentence “I am living in the Deep South” and went “Pobrecito!!!” Damn!

  • Colette Marcheline (@Cognorati001)

    Where are you living, geographically?

    Yes, some White communities in the northeast have some supposed ethnic identities (I was born in Queens, New York). Supposedly, they are “Italian” or “Irish” or whatever, but that is not the same as those of us who are first or second generation American who really do speak are native languages, have family in our country of origin, still visit, etc. They’re basically Olive Garden Italians, etc.

    Look at is this way: what are the ethnicities of the White former Presidents of the United States? None of them had any.

    Or consider Ashkenazi Jews in America, who have an inter-religious marriage rate that has alarmed Orthodox and Conservative rabbis: inter-religious marriages and the resultant loss of culture have allowed them to completely assimilate into the American population to the extent that they don’t often don’t want to be referred to as “Jews” but “Jewish.”

    It’s generally understood that assimilation will lead a person in America to gradually take on a racial identity rather than an ethnic one — the same happens to Black immigrants, who are condemned for still identifying with our ethnic identities.

  • Colette Marcheline (@Cognorati001)

    I was born in Queens but also lived in a Southern city and state that rapidly became racially diverse.

    Truly, I also could not believe that racism was that virulent anywhere in America: this place has been an education. I came here very naively thinking, “How bad can it be?” I’ve met other Blacks who moved thinking the same and are invariably moving again.

    As Blacks and other minorities we need to understand that there are certain regions and people in this country who are simply *THE* problem, IMHO. They can’t be debated with or convinced or listened to.

    IMHO, it’s going to come to the point were they are simply outnumbered — largely by Blacks and immigrants of color, like myself. On the hand, I have no intention of living here past December based on the racist insanity I’ve witnessed.

  • gmarie

    this has probably already been said but I feel like it’s being promoted for both black women AND men. it’s like…it’s a rarity to see a straight up black couple on prime time tv. Shout out to Jimmy fallon for pairing Tempest bledsoe up with Anthony Anderson on his new show.

  • Jess

    Never heard of this sh^t here! Excuse my language. According to the mainstream media, only Black women are hated and deemed unworthy. While White women are lauded at every turn. Bet you won’t see an article about this phenomenon on every blog/website, or on the cover of Time magazine.

  • Colette Marcheline (@Cognorati001)

    I don’t know if you are in Britain, but I was educated in Europe and lived there — I also speak French.

    Non-white minorities in Europe tend to complain about European racism, but it needs to be understood that White American racism/ White Supremacy is NOTHING like it and has no equivalent. I’ve worked with White South Africans and again, I have never encountered the type of racism you find in America, particularly the Deep South.

    Race in America has been used to prescribe people social identities that keep a hierarchy in order, with Blacks being at the very bottom. I also agree with the theory that Whites *keep their identities intact* by knowing that Black people are at the bottom of the hierarchy. The investment in this ideology is complete in parts of America, and they will not yield because they believe that abandoning White Supremacy will destroy their identities.

    American White Supremacy has become extremely virulent because Blacks and Whites are in close proximity to one another — that’s different from how anti-Black racism developed in Europe, where people had the knowledge that Blacks were largely in colonies far away. Worse still, American Blacks have had to live with their oppressors as a relatively small minority and have been robbed of identity and cultural ties.

    How does it affect art and entertainment?

    People will not address pathology but will represent it (and don’t forget that the media is White dominated with very few Blacks). They don’t believe identities exist outside of pre-prescribed ones, so they don’t create those characters — worse still, they may be threatened by Blacks who don’t fit the molds. Motives are never innocent or colorblind on the part of Whites in the entertainment industry, so you get films about maids, exclusively light-skinned actresses as leads, and Black men almost exclusively represented as dangerous.

  • dirtychai

    I agree with what you say about catering to white males. On TV usually the white male is the least attractive of the cast paired with the most attractive black woman. I see this time and time again, so I wonder whose comfort level are they trying to appease? It’s crazy how sneaky the trendsetters in media can be.

  • Mrs. Jones

    WHO CARES,REALLY THOUGH!! White men are not even black women type so why does the media keep trying to put interracial dating in their face?? Black women(including myself) will never date interracial.

  • Lynette

    @Collete. I mean no dis-respect, but how long have you lived in America?

  • Lynette

    “Black women will never date interracial” Really??!!! And you speak for all black women everywhere???

  • Lola

    Please donot speak for every black women. I am black women and think white men are extremely sexy. Oh, and a growing number of black women are starting to think like me.

  • Lynette

    And I ask this because in some posts, you say that you are an immigrant and in others, you say that you were born in Queens.

  • Colette Marcheline (@Cognorati001)

    @Lynette: I self identify as an immigrant because I’m not ethnically American — I don’t make apologies about it. I was born in Queens and am a “natural born citizen”, but like a lot of non-White immigrants I’m not ethnically American, but Haitian (I don’t identify with the culture, language, obsessive capitalism, etc).

    I see myself as outside of this culture and frankly feel more at home when I’m not in America. Also, I’ve lived and studied abroad and have seriously considered permanently leaving.

    Frankly, I don’t believe Americans recognize second-generation people of color as Americans, either. Hell: I don’t believe Americans see my parents — who were naturalized — as Americans.

  • LaNubiana
  • MarSeeUh

    Um that is not Paula Patton, that is Joy Bryant…smh we dont’ even know our own black actresses.

  • KitKat

    White society still upholds the white woman as the ideal, but white males individually are flocking more towards Asian women, and “third world girls”. I have heard more than a few white women complain about the Asian/foreign girls “taking their men”.

  • Clutch

    Val made a small mistake and called Joy Bryant Paula Patton – we updated her comment. Thanks for your comment.

  • JC

    I don’t know if they would go out of their way to do that kind of detailed social engineering. But then again, a lot of funny things have been done.

    Anyway, I think it is more like that they are looking for something fresh and new. Also, it might be a side effect of this trend in t.v. to place characters of color in leading or strong supportive roles but include no other characters of color in the main cast. So as a result, those characters must have white love interests. There is this NPR article about that:

    In any case, outside of religion, I think it is silly to exclude entire demographic groups from your dating pool. Especially if you are black and success oriented. The higher you rise, the fewer black people you will see. I don’t think it is healthy to date in such small communities, especially if members are sexually active. So long as you are not driven by some underlining insecurity, internalized racism, or dehumanizing fetish, go ahead and date outside of your race,ethnicity, and nationality.

    But I understand that a lot of women prefer to date within their race (see this nytimes article Anyway, its your life.

  • JC

    I definitely heard about this trend. But I don’t know if there are enough white men that could travel or enough non-American women in American for this trend to being to put a crack in white female beauty/dating privilege.

  • JC

    Actually, I think I remember reading somewhere that this is more so driven my men’s reaction to the changing gender dynamics resulting from feminism. Read in between the lines, I think you will see that a look of the disgust comes from women’s independence. In other words, I think this is a net negative for women. Western ( read white) men think western women have become to independent for their own good and are pressuring them by dating else where.

  • Lynette

    @Collete. Thanks for clarifying. You have an interesting take on things. Again, no dis-respect meant.

  • Londoner

    rkahendi – As a Brit, I would say that the main reason why IR’s are so common on TV is because they are common in real life (much more so than in the USA). So, in many respects it’s just reflective of reality. Ironically, although there are many more South Asains as a % of the population, you probably find more people of African or Caribbean decent on TV. That’s changing a lot though..

  • Val


    Thanks. :-)

  • Londoner

    @ Collette – I always find your comments so interesting! I think you are spot on with your observations in this case as well. The pathology you mention is so… all pervasive. It’s something that is so noticeable and really violently shocked me when I first came to the USA. It runs so deep..

  • sandykess

    They’ve filled their quota with the black actress already, so they can’t really put her in a relationship with a black man or that defeats the purpose. And you are actually wrong about Kerry Washington’s character not dating a black man. Apparently, Olivia’s (Scandal) ex-boyfriend has been cast and he’s black. Olivia might try to make it work with him.

  • Val

    I agree. I don’t think the media is promoting IR relationships as much as catering to White men to get them to watch. And it isn’t just TV. It’s the same for film.

  • Val

    “Again, we either own OUR narratives, or sit back quietly and let the mainstream bombard us with their skewed version of our narrative.”

    I think you’re right, AM. Some of this is definitely because White men run the media. They are the show creators, writers, directors and make the final decisions regarding casting.

    We desperately need our own media. But, I think that’s starting to happen with online series. I hope that continues.

  • Val


    That’s for making my comment apart of this post.

  • CanV

    I’m not sure where you live, but where I live it BW/WM combinations are definitely becoming more common.
    I went to the fair last weekend and there was just as many BW/WM combinations as there were BM/WW combinations and only slightly less than AW/WW combinations.
    I was surprised but it just goes to show that times are a changing. And t.v. is always trying to catch the new trend before it really becomes a trend.

  • jamesfrmphilly

    i say that you do not have self knowledge.

    if you knew ourstory rather than history you would not be interested in IR.

    would you mate with a dog or a cat? no? why not?
    i look on mating with a white the same as mating with an animal.

    why would a goddess want to mate with an animal?
    only if she did not know she was a goddess.

    true self knowledge means that you know you are a god person.

  • Mina

    I actually like that they’re in interracial relationships. Maybe it’s not believable for the 30 and up audience but it’s reality for the 20s and under women. I know I’ve been in several interracial relationships and a few of my close girl friends as well. I prefer seeing black women with white, latino, or asian men in TV shows because it makes me feel like “yes black women can be desired by other men besides black men and they don’t have to be light skinned to be seen as attractive.” Black women are always paired with black men. That’s like the default relationship. I don’t always want to see a black woman with a black man. I do love seeing black love and black men loving, respecting, and treating their black women like a special gift but most of these black women are light skinned. So it doesn’t really tell me anything special.

    I’m light skinned too but I get tired of seeing light skinned women always with dark skinned men. It’s always the same thing with them. When I see that they’re the same color or in the same social class, then it doesn’t feel like it’s a colorism issue. Single Ladies had plenty of IR in the show that I was fine with. The white girl with the black guy wasn’t special to me because that guy was corny and a loser and I thought she could’ve had someone better. Denise’s character, I liked her in most of her couplings except Romeo lol. And LisaRaye’s couples were good too. I like Tamar and Vince because they’re not like a traditional couple. But yes, I love seeing black women in interracial relationships on TV. But I also like to see them in relationships with other black men where it doesn’t make me feel like the man is with them only because of their hair texture, skin color, or beauty only.

  • MommieDearest

    “And this is not about the adults (25 & over.) This is about conditioning black children.”

    There you have it. A few more generations and the sight of a “black on black” couple will be rare. Eventually we will be “erased.”

  • MommieDearest

    .” In Brazil there has always been a plan to whiten the population by encouraging interracial relationships”

    I believe that same logic is at play in the U.S., particularly since the black/white relationships are pushed to the forefront instead of black/non-white relationships.

  • MommieDearest

    “I actually beileve whites wold like Black people to be fully assimilated/bred out of the American population. Why? Because they are uncomfortable with obvious physical and cultural differences and they have no intention of addressing their own discriminatory responses based on White Supremacist indoctrination.

    Think about: White ethnics essentially assimilated/ bred themselves out so that there is no historic and cultural identity among White people. They see this as almost a panacea for racial tension (we’ve all heard the “If they’d [Blacks] just stop using the hyphenated American thing, racism would go away!). I think they unconsciously felt that if Blacks would be like them in every way — including reproducing racially ambiguous people — they wouldn’t be put in the predicament of those uncomfortable racist feelings and actions they have towards Blacks.

    If Blacks show consent for assimilation and take steps towards it — or display acceptable Blackness — we suddenly become more empathetic or approachable.”

    Wow! You have perfectly articulated what I had been thinking for a long time.

    I don’t know if you are familiar with what happened in Austrailia with the Aboriginees, beginning sometime before the 1960′s. The Australian government forcibly removed Aborginee children from their families and placed them with white families to raise. This went on for years. I forget when they stopped the program, but the government issued an apology in the 1990′s. So, the possibility that the US wants to “breed” black people out of the country is not shocking to me at all.

  • MommieDearest

    “I think a lot of it is unconscious: I actually believe Whites would like Black people to be fully assimilated/bred out of the American population. Why? Because they are uncomfortable with obvious physical and cultural differences and they have no intention of addressing their own discriminatory responses based on White Supremacist indoctrination.
    Think about: White ethnics essentially assimilated/ bred themselves out so that there is no historic and cultural identity among White people. They see this as almost a panacea for racial tension (we’ve all heard the “If they’d [Blacks] just stop using the hyphenated American thing, racism would go away!). I think they unconsciously felt that if Blacks would be like them in every way — including reproducing racially ambiguous people — they wouldn’t be put in the predicament of those uncomfortable racist feelings and actions they have towards Blacks.
    If Blacks show consent for assimilation and take steps towards it — or display acceptable Blackness — we suddenly become more empathetic or approachable.”

    Wow! You have perfectly articulated what I had been thinking for a long time.

    I’m not sure if you’re familiar with what happened in Australia with the Aborigines, beginning sometime before the 1960’s. The Australian government forcibly removed Aborigine children from their families and placed them with white families to raise. This went on for years. They finally stopped the program in the 1970’s. The government issued a formal apology in the 1990’s. So, if the possibility that the U.S. wants to “breed” black people out of the country is not surprising to me at all..

  • Rue

    “Non-white minorities in Europe tend to complain about European racism, but it needs to be understood that White American racism”
    I don’t know where in Europe you have lived, but it must be a veeeery liberal and tolerant and enlightened area indeedy.

    “White American racism/ White Supremacy is NOTHING like it and has no equivalent”
    Yeah, I have a couple Jewish friends who would beg to differ. American racists are no different than any other racists. The difference between say, Hitler and a mob-lyncher and a passive agressive racsist is (a) motivation, and (b) opportunity. Not much else. So quit fooling yourself.

    “(I don’t identify with the culture, language, obsessive capitalism, etc). I see myself as outside of this culture and frankly feel more at home when I’m not in America. ”
    Sigh. I don’t mean to sound mean but why are you staying in a country that you don’t like? I will never live in Engalnd because, to me their culture sucks. And I’m not being mean, I just dont like it, so I would never live there.

  • MommieDearest

    @ Colette Marcheline:

    “I think a lot of it is unconscious: I actually believe Whites would like Black people to be fully assimilated/bred out of the American population. Why? Because they are uncomfortable with obvious physical and cultural differences and they have no intention of addressing their own discriminatory responses based on White Supremacist indoctrination.
    Think about: White ethnics essentially assimilated/ bred themselves out so that there is no historic and cultural identity among White people. They see this as almost a panacea for racial tension (we’ve all heard the “If they’d [Blacks] just stop using the hyphenated American thing, racism would go away!). I think they unconsciously felt that if Blacks would be like them in every way — including reproducing racially ambiguous people — they wouldn’t be put in the predicament of those uncomfortable racist feelings and actions they have towards Blacks.
    If Blacks show consent for assimilation and take steps towards it — or display acceptable Blackness — we suddenly become more empathetic or approachable.”

    Wow! You have perfectly articulated what I had been thinking for a long time.

    I’m not sure if you’re familiar with what happened in Australia with the Aborigines, beginning sometime before the 1960’s. The Australian government forcibly removed Aborigine children from their families and placed them with white families to raise. This went on for years. They finally stopped the program in the 1970’s. The government issued a formal apology in the 1990’s. So, if the possibility that the U.S. wants to “breed” black people out of the country is not surprising to me at all..

  • Rue

    clutch where is my comment?!?

  • Rue

    @Collete Marcheline
    I dont know if my original comment will show up later but here goes:
    I don’t know where you get the idea that Americans are Racists on crack, while Europeans don’t know how to be that way, but I for one have plenty of Jewish friends who would find this hilarious. I’ve lived in Europe and, save for France, I came home to NY with open arms, hugged and kissed her, and walked home with the scent of pee and pretzels and a smile on my face.
    Second, if you are uncomfortable with the American culture, why do you stay? It wasn’t meant as a mean and xenophobic thing I assure you, I’m an immigrant myself, but I couldn’t imagine living in a place where I was uncomfortable. Except for my childhood, where I had no choice.

  • MommieDearest

    Somewhere chilling with my last few comments to this thread. *shrugs*

  • Wong Chia Chi

    I’m thinking about leaving to( no reply button to your comment below). And I agree with you on the racism thing. I have a similiar experience with Canada. People here complain about it but even they acknowledge that it isn’t as bad. I know that it has racism but not at the same levels as the U.S. I don’t think it’s nearly as pervasive or severe or hostile or violent and I say that as a full born American. All the people I’ve interacted from Europe, commented on this. They seemed more aware of the situation than American. I don’t feel very ethnically American or black.

    Because of America’s history, and refusal to acknowledge it, I think it will always be the way that it is. It’s never going to change.

  • Jaslene

    Interesting thing is with Kerry Washington, Joy Bryant and Vanessa they have either been engaged or married a white man. The only one I am unsure about is Anika Noni Rose.

  • Jess

    No more so than they promoted IR for Black men in the last 4 years or so. In the last 4 years, most TV shows that happened to feature a Black person always had a Black man, and he was always with white or non-Black women (i.e. everything produced by Shonda Rhimes and ABC, Happy Endings, Red Tails, Prometheus, most all TV commercials, etc).

    Now the media has flipped the script and are pairing Black women with white men for whatever their next agenda is – it’s being promoted and pushed for some reason unbeknownst to most of us – I say some are taking revenge for the last 4 years of only showing Black guys with white chicks, and some media entities are continuing divide-and-conquer tactics, this time through the women instead of the men –

    Either way, its fake on both sides media-wise, whether only pairing Black men with white women or Black women with white men – it seems to me to be a political agenda game to divide Black groups during important political time periods.

  • African Mami


    You are a NUT!! Still heart you doe!!

  • Jess

    Cool, another Jess! Well, I think the IR is being promoted now in the same way the media promoted Black men in only IR for the last 4 years – Black women wear promoted as ugly, overbearing, homewrekers for the past 4 years. now they’ve flipped the script and made it all B with WM when at firstthey were showing only BM with WW. It has to be attached to some agenda, probably political, imo, since the Obamas are in office. T

  • Keke

    I had a really good reply all ready to go but it got deleted somehow. But anyway, if YOU knew our history, you would also know that all human beings on this planet, come from the same group of people located on the African continent, and then again from the same group who survived a bottleneck some thousands of years ago. Heck, we all have the same copy of mDNA from the original “eve,” and are more alike genetically than any other group of life forms on earth. Therefore all this talk about “cat,” and “dogs,” mating are a moot point.

  • Jess

    Great point Marcos! I visited Brazil and it was extremely obvious of what was being done in the media. They are trying that now in the U.S. – mainly with the Black men, because the U.S. media has promoted Black Men with white women more heavily than Black Women with white men, but are now trying to reverse that trend and make BW/WM pairings more common.

    It’s all political games and, I agree, the promotion of a white power, family and social structure with a fragmented and divided Black base. It’s all about keeping America as white as possible, and, actually, as low in Blacks as possible.

    Black women (and men) have the right to date and marry whoever they choose regardless of their race, but this overpromotion is to push an agenda. Black men accepted the IR farce first and went whole-hog with it, and now the idea is to get the same level of support from Black women.

  • Jess

    Co-sign LaNubian 100%

  • Jess

    Dude, plz shut it.Lola is completely right. Your anger and insecurity at Black women is showing.

  • Jess

    I agree with you LaNubiana, I’ve actually heard of that too. BUT…in the U.S., even though white men are increasingly running to non-white women on more and more occasions
    (ie Asian women particularly), white women are promoted in the U.S. by white men as the best in order to keep white unity and white supremacy at the forefront of themids of the American public.

    Even though many white men hate and do not desire white women, in the U.S., they will SAY they do, and keep up the “white woman’s desirability” farce for superiority reasons, and so all otherraces of women feel inferior. Very telling too thatyou said the Black men were the only race of men goofy enough to fall for the whole “superiority of white women” propaganda.

  • me

    Thank you, Desi!!

  • Pingback: KolorBlind Spotlight: Paul Wall … rapping the KolorBlind life! | KolorBlind Mag

  • paul

    What bunkum!

    and what a surprise – this topic is already almost a 100 comments long, coz this is one they’re all “experts” on. Don’t know s hit about anything that requires DISCIPLINED thought.

    Don’t wanna know.

    The only thing matters is who’s screwing who – or rather, who’s NOT screwing YOU – right? What a way to go through life – judging, hating, resenting envying, wishing.

    Longing for other people to validate you. I guess being a shallow fool carries its own punishment.


    and FYI

    This one’s easy to wrap up, as follows:

    If it’s true that black women in the age demo 18-49 are the most avid and devoted consumers of TV, then that makes black women a “rich pickings” audience for their junk.

    My guess would be that program makers and advertisers are simply making a rational business decision, by having more IR romances involving black women in their content..

    Please be aware that the shows are just vehicles to carry advertising.
    Quality content, realism, truth and other “peripheral” considerations like that take a back seat to the selling imperative.

    They make shows that reflect the aspirations, values, PREJUDICES . . . of the target consumer demographic. If you’re selling home security systems, eg panic rooms, to middle and upper class whites, you’ll carry your advertising in crime shows; where, of course, all the bad guys are black, muslim, some other, “other”.

    If you’re tapping the black women market, you hit em on their weakness. Depict IR romances involving black women so that those watching can VICARIOUSLY experience the “interacial dream”.

    You’ll buy anything off em if it’s a got a white boys love ya label on it.

    They know you so well.

    Those white folks must be wettin themselves laughin at this mess. – all the way to the bank with a fools money. Meanwhile fool still aint got no white man to show for it and stays broke.

    But I’m sure this “important” and never ending debate about beauty standards and how white women are getting turned down by everybody will go on

    and on and on . . .

    lookin em up and down with a scornful look on my face and


  • Diane

    Really? I grew up watching the Huckstable’s onTV. I thought they were the epitome of the happy black couple.

  • jamesfrmphilly

    -black man tells black woman that she is a goddess.
    black women resounds with derision.

    that right there says something powerful……

  • Pseudonym

    “TV is fantasy for White people. And that’s why the White guys get all of the ‘attractive’ women.”

    Yes- but then again- how many unattractive women (black, white, Asian, Latino, a mix of everything, etc.) are on television and their role not be playing the “unattractive woman?” Even the joke on “30 Rock” of Tina Fey being gross and unappealing to her co-workers doesn’t really translate well b/c she’s actually pretty good looking.

    If you were to take this as a trend, I think it would be more that tv shows are promoting interracial relationships for whites- the world of Television doesn’t seem very concerned with making shows with predominantly white casts that appeal to black audiences (Joy and the boy who plays her son are the only black people on that show.). Now when shows with a predominantly black cast start showing interracial relationships (and making nothing of them like…dag! I can’t remember the name of the show right now, but it’s on regular network television, really good, and one of the best friends is a black guy married to a white woman and from the episodes that I have seen, that fact has never come up- which I love!).

  • rena215

    That NPR piece brings up a very good point – there are a lot of t.v. shows with non-white main characters where the character’s ethnicity is not central to their role. Is this so wrong? I don’t think so.

    I can only speak for Scandal (I’ve never seen any of the other t.v. shows), but I’m glad to see black women as the main character on mainstream t.v. where being black isn’t central to the role. In the past, whenever I saw a black woman on t.v. (excluding of course a t.v. show with an all-black cast), she was always the sassy sidekick/comedic relief. I think having more multifaceted black female characters overall is a step in the right direction. The fact that more of them are dating interracially on t.v. doesn’t bother me. Also, I LOVE Kerry Washington’s character on Scandal!

  • Perspective

    I would love to know what constitutes an “ATTRACTIVE” black woman because I don’t see these white men linking up with the India Aries of the world.

    1…2…3… Black women GO!

    Commence with making the same women who if with black men would be considered “not black enough”

    I’ve been peepin’ this for year. White men with all the “attractive” black women. What makes them attractive because I only see one type of black woman up there.

    Obviously it wouldn’t be in the best interest of white supremacy to support the look of any woman of color who didn’t at the very least “have the likeness” of their own women.

    I’m sayin’ where the Nina Simone type sistas at? Why do they always have to be these Kerry Washington looking babes.

    I’ll refrain from further comment.

  • Lasaundra Watson-Legate

    Here is the reality, life is encouraging IR dating and marriage. In truth, Black men in the prim marriage years are often unavailable, many are incarcerated, on drugs, have decided not to marry, prefer non-Black partners. Restricting your choices by race is absurd and severely lessens chances for finding a mate.

  • Lynette

    I’m beginning to think that Clutch needs to consider calling a brief halt to the articles on interracial dating. Or better yet, could Clutch stop focusing solely on black/white relationships and discuss relationships concerning those of us who are dating Asians or Latinos. Some of the comments that ensue over black/white dating just make my head and heart hurt.

  • Jess

    Umm actually I personally know several “natural” style, not necessarily traditionally beautiful Black women who are married to White men. In fact the consensus amongst some Black women is that White men are more accepting of ethnic features and/or natural hair, darker skin…etc than Black men. As many Black men seem to prefer lighter skin/non-ethnic looking women. And again, this is just the opinion of my friends and I.

  • Jess

    Sadly Hollywood has a fascination with the racially ambiguous fair skinned woman. A woman not quite White, but certainly not Black enough to “offend”. Unfortunately, for many Black men these examples now represent their ideal.

  • LaNubiana

    @ Jess

    You are 100% on all three points. I think the main issues white men have with their women has to do with faminism. On the many articles and website I was reading, the white men come off bitter and egomaniacal. I also agree that they will never downplay their women in front of other races of people. They know they must keep the superiority facad. Lastly, I was disappointed as the willingness of black men to deal with it. I mean I wish our black men would wake up and realize not only the beauty but the strong mental capacity black women possess.

  • LaNubiana

    Last response was for both Jess and JC

  • hmmmmm

    Val is one of the brightest folks commenting here or on any website.
    The small-minded will turn something like this into a Victim-Olympics for black relationships. A psuedo-revolution; some kind of revenge narrative.

    Thanks for being awake, Val.

  • Nikster


  • Chillyroad


    Im glad you had the decency to add that it was the opinion of you and your friends.

    Your problem is that you dont see enough rich famous black men with average looking black women.

    Your average everyday black man who is romantically involved with your average everyday black women arent convincing enough for you.

    BTW, what the hell is ethnic features?

  • Chillyroad


    You dont speak for black women either. This idea that black women are just now waking up to attractive white men is stupid. A sexy man is a sexy man and will attract all types of women. That includes black women.

  • Chillyroad


    You mentioned on this post that white men, in your opinion, have a greater appreciation for naturally haired, dark skinned black women with ethnic features. Now you are saying Hollywood has a fascination with racially ambiguous fair skinned women.

    Your rhetorical trick of using dubious terms like Hollywood, the media or society arent lost on me. Hollywood is white men. The media is white men and society is white men. Now if they have a fascinaiton with fair skinned women then they cant also have a greater appreciation for dark, natural ethnic looking black women.

  • Chillyroad

    @Tonton Michel

    You make an interesting point Tonton.

  • LaNubiana

    No irony here! I’ve a long, think, beautiful BLACK AFRIKAN hair every white female I came across has always been envious of so no there is no irony here.

  • Chillyroad


    “Well, I think the IR is being promoted now in the same way the media…”

    Who, pray tell, is the media? White men?

    “Black women wear [sic] promoted as ugly, overbearing, homewrekers for the past 4 years.”

    And who did the promoting of black women as ugly overbearing homewrekers for the past 4 years? White men?

    Lets name and shame please.

  • Chillyroad

    @Africna Mami

    I heart James too so keep your hands where I can see them.

  • Chillyroad

    Big up Val!

  • Jess

    @ChillyRoad, I think you’re getting confused because Clutch is posting comments from more than one commenter named “Jess”, myself included

  • Cocochanel31

    Amen@rena215 ! My mother and I discuss this all the time! I yearn when black women can do mainsteam MOVIES as just a woman not necessarily a black woman. Why can’t we play the lead in movies like Pretty Woman, What to Expect When Your Expecting, Bridesmaids,etc. just fun light hearted movies that everyone loves..the charactercan be any color for those roles!

  • Chillyroad


    My bad, honey.

  • paul

    “What bunkum!”

    “and what a surprise – this topic is already almost a 100 comments long, coz this is one they’re all “experts” on. Don’t know s hit about anything that requires DISCIPLINED thought.”

    “Don’t wanna know.”

    If it’s any consolation, (I hope it’s not) – the above part of my earlier comment pertains to all IR seekers and inter-racialism “experts”.

    Totally boring, know nothing mass of straw brained head bangers who never have opinions on anything but interracial dating.

  • Jess

    @ChillyRoad–Funny I didn’t think that it required “decency” for me to preface any statement that I make as being reflective of my personal experience or knowledge. I simply see it as honest, sincere and factual. Now if you have a problem with my point of view, that is of course your prerogative. Yet I absolutely stand behind each and every statement that I have made. Yes the mainstream media has a fascination with a racially ambiguous, less ethnic if you will, woman of color. Often deeming these fairer, more exotic women as more “palatable” than Black women with varying shades of Brown skin and/or natural hair. Many Black men have adopted this aesthetic as the preferred ideal. Notice how as a responsible, intelligent person I used the qualifier “many” and not “all”? Thus, many Black women with skin in the gorgeous shades of Brown and Ebony go unnoticed and unappreciated by some Black men. Again notice the “some”? Yet surprisingly, those same traits now deemed unattractive by some in the Black community, are in fact appreciated by some nice guys–who just happen to be White. In conclusion, as I offered no sweeping generalizations, and clearly and responsibly stated that it was my opinion it would seem to me that you’re the one with the problem, not me. I’m good. Bait someone else boo.

  • LaNubiana

    @ SMH

    But I wasn’t speaking on behalf of all black women. I was speaking for myself so there was no irony. In addition, a woman should never be defined by her hair… It’s only hair.

  • Luci

    I live in NY. BW/WM is still the least common pairing. (AW/WM is the most common BY FAR.)

    Even in Manhattan, a black woman is far more likely to be single or married to a black man than anything else. Even in so-called “progressive” circles. Is it more common than it was a decade ago? Sure. It happens maybe 2% of the time instead of 0.5% of the time. Folks still ain’t doing it in droves, the way TV makes it seem.

  • Luci

    There are two different ways to objectify someone:

    1) Strip them of their dignity
    2) Place them on a pedestal

    I’ll just be a black woman/human being, thanks.

  • BoutDatLove

    I agree with you, I get you and understand where you are coming from. I think we are far removed from our history and OUR TRUE spirituality that we haven’t really questioned the norms, which has been the brainwashing inflicted on us. You say somethings that I be thinking but am afraid to say.

  • londongirl

    I see this happening in London too. Black men/boys in the media are 99.9% visibly paired with white women/girls. I totally see the agenda, especially after visiting Brazil.

  • Kwame

    What we see on network TV’s most popular shows ARE NOT merely a reflection of real life? These shows are sales presentations created, and influenced by savvy entrepreneurs, psychologists, and marketers. They are not only selling products, they are selling a dream/an ideal reality. In essence, they are manufacturing reality, not reflecting it.

    If a person sees a particular concept/image projected consistently through a popular/mainstream medium, he/she will integrate this concept into his/her actual existence. This is how social norms are created. Isn’t this how bright colored. skinny jeans become cool for men to wear?

  • Chrissy

    So you see no black couples but Im assuming you see white couples? Very interesting. So black people at least middle to upper class will probably all eventually mate with non-black people. Which in turn means most black people of good standing will probably eventually be ‘brown.’ And the other black people who have not had the ‘fortune’ to mix will probably be poor.

    I hope that doesnt sound crazy, but I figured it will soon happen. It already has in other places.

  • Chrissy

    There you have it. A few more generations and the sight of a “black on black” couple will be rare. Eventually we will be “erased.”

    Yep. It is kinda scary.

    I was on this message board for moms who had biracial children. And this one mom said that when she took her children to the playground there was only one black child who was not ‘mixed.’ She said it was so funny she had to laugh….

  • Val

    Wow, thanks.

  • bk chick

    I haven’t read through all the comments so I dunno if it’s already been said, but I think it’s a few factors: 1. I think white writers/producers are attempting to be “post-racial”. They’re saying “see, look. We’ve gotten over this race thing because a black women can be with a white man–no problem. Yay! victory over white guilt. 2. Writers and producers don’t want to take “the risk” of featuring two or more black characters in a mainstream film without alienating their white audience. I heard once that will smith was supposed to star in the matrix, but because Lawrence Fishburn was already cast, they chose Keanu Reeves. 3. The reason why it seems more prevalent amongst black women, I think, is because black women are finally being seen as lead worthy/normal by Hollywood and TV. But a “normal” woman in Hollywood is synonymous with sexy, so in order for a black woman to be sexy she has to be considered sexy by white men. Just my thoughts

  • Colette Marcheline (@Cognorati001)

    “I don’t know where you get the idea that Americans are Racists on crack, while Europeans don’t know how to be that way, but I for one have plenty of Jewish friends who would find this hilarious.”

    That’s a distortion of what I said, so I’ll leave it at that. Also, we’re not talking about Jew hatred — which is an incredibly complex issue — but anti-Black racism.

    Secondly, there’s actually a global recession/ depression going on. Every rational person is staying put until we know where this will lead, and I’m no exception.

  • Me

    THANK YOU. I’ve been scrolling through the pages waiting for someone to say this! It’s like we have amnesia. Remember when we were only the best friends or one-night stands? Now that things make a turn around for the better we’re questioning it? The love between Kerri Washington and the president on Scandal is REAL. I forget that they are IR because it DOES NOT MATTER. What do you guys really want geez!!

  • Anthony

    Weird as it sounds, black/white interracial couples can be seen as an affirmation of white superiority if a person assumes that white is indeed preferable. In other words, many whites expect a person of color to “aspire” to a white mate since they have risen above the station of the “average” black man or woman.

    The bottom line is that human tend to fit whatever they see into their world view. That is why things that may seem progressive on the surface are often co-opted by conservative or even reactionary agends.

    Needless to say, I feel people are and should be free to date or marry whoever they want. We should just realize that what we do will be interpreted in different ways by different people.

  • mamanas

    As a African American woman married to a white man, I do think that White males continue to have a issue with AA males dating/marrying white women. It becomes a direct threat to their identity. I never get the flack from either AA or whites about my marriage, but some of my friends who are married to AA men get a lot of heat. Again, it not just white males who have this issues, but some AA.

  • ebony82

    I think that today’s media is learning that couples no longer consist only of a man and a woman of the same ethnicities. IR pairs are becoming more common and shows are reflecting that shift. Kudos.

  • Lala

    Black man + Black Woman = Program/ film for black people.

  • Colette Marcheline (@Cognorati001)

    “I’m not sure if you’re familiar with what happened in Australia with the Aborigines, beginning sometime before the 1960’s. The Australian government forcibly removed Aborigine children from their families and placed them with white families to raise. This went on for years. They finally stopped the program in the 1970’s.”

    The forced assimilation of aboriginals is a perfect example. Granted, I believe a lot of these ideas are unconscious or at least unspoken, while with the case of the aboriginals it was deliberate.

    I think it’s why during the 90s, and to some extent today, Whites wanted to use interracial marriage as a barometer of progress on racism. They’re not concerned with discrimination in jobs, housing, education, the justice system, targeting and incarceration, or racism in the arts, but who people are (temporarily) sleeping with. It’s completely irrational.

    The question becomes how do they think inter-racial dating helps anyone in any discernible way if there are no positive effects on the larger Black community? The only logical explanation of their attachment to the idea would be the assimilation of Black people, or giving kudos to Whites to would actually sleep with a Black person (Shock! Horror!).

  • dawn

    I am glad to see a black woman paired with a white male. I see nobody commented on the attractive black men in television commercials paired with a white woman, while an unattractive black male is paired with a black woman. I see this often in television and it seems to be swept under the rug. I love to see movies that show interracial pairings,but I wish it was fair. I believe television will not allow a black male paired with a black woman. Does America want to see that AA couples exist? I feel that American television is trying to say its okay for a white woman to mate with a black man. Why cant television make it okay for a black woman to be with a white man? Open your eyes.

  • simplyme

    lol this.

    Same reason Will Smith is always paired with a latina or white actress and Jada’s love interest and eventual husband in Hawthorne was a White guy. They want “diversity” but they don’t want things to get “too black” or it looks like BET.

    IR relationships are beautiful, progressive, promote tolerance and understanding and all that gushy stuff but the reality is that most Black people are dating other Black people….so if they want to realistically feature Black people onTV they should get comfortable with featuring two attractive Black people actually dating each other.

  • LovesYa

    Will was offered the role FIRST and turned it down. Also the role of Morpheus was offered to, of all people, Sean Connery! LOL! The Matrix would have been a totally different movie with Will and Sean Connery, though. I think Keanu and Larry made a great team and each bought the right stuff to the characters.

  • bk chick

    @LovesYea…Thanks for the clarification! It def would’ve been a very diff movie lol.

  • chnyere

    Ok, most of the black men r in interracial relationships too. Whenever there is a blk person on a big network tv show their other half is rarely blk, so…

  • just a thought

    but if the relationship involves a white person and a black person, would you not consider the white race to be “erased’ as well (as you put it)….? why is it only seen as the black side being diminished… the child wont be fully white either…

  • drnicol1922

    Are these new shows featuring BW/WM relationships dealing with serious race issues? If not, then that’s indicative of the fact that placement of a BW in these roles might a fad/trend without any serious consideration of the challenges these relationships face. Kinda like the old George Carlin skit, “Happens to be”….If the woman “happens to be black” but the show never deals with her blackness in any meaningful way, it is just a hook to capture black viewership at best.

  • Ravi

    Usually? hardly usually. For the last couple decades, far more interracial couplings on television and movies have been BW/WM. I think people are just now noticing this, but it’s been like this for quite some time.

    This isn’t something new. Black women with an Indian men would be something new. BW/WM is the same old ish.

  • Ravi

    I agree with everything except that it is being promoted more heavily with black men. Black women are paired with white men far more often than the other way around. The trend on screen has been quite the opposite of what it has been in reality.

  • Ravi

    But that’s normally not the context of the “relationships.” Black women are still usually displayed for sexual reasons a la Monsters Ball. BW/WM romance on screen is quite prevalent, but only a handful of these pairings end up in marriage. Is Scandal really the type of appreciation of black women that we have been asking for? Rich, older, married white man has an affair with an attractive younger black woman? Sounds more like old white male sex fantasies as opposed to love.

    Pairing black women with white men for sex doesn’t mean society has a more diverse beauty standard. White standards of beauty are still being pushed without much of a trend towards a more diverse or inclusive norm.

    Regardless, I think having shows showing white people love us is a poor indicator of progress. I’d prefer shows showing stable examples of black love. Something truly new.

  • Ravi

    Not the reality at all. The number of us incarcerated, on drugs or that have decided not to marry is a small minority of what is out there. Everyone restricts their choices based on many different characteristics — height, income, physical attractiveness, assertiveness, “swag”, ambition, education, interests, chemistry, sexual compatibility, etc. Of all the ways to limit your pool, race is probably the least restrictive.

  • Tanesha White (@taneshawhite)

    My husband and I are IR, and must have to admit pretty damn hot couple. It’s not about being IR it’s about being with someone you love. We always made comments that we wish movies and shows would display more IR, because it is more of the norm now and it’s great to put it in on tv because this is the times we live in now so it needs to be accepted. The Modern Family is great example of how you display out of the ordinary relationships to many people, but yet these are very popular lifestyles. So I hope they keep breaking the norm!

  • Ravi

    I’ve been noticing this trend for a long time. It’s gotten to the point where nearly every show featuring a black woman, whether it’s a guest appearance or a series regular, will pair black women with white men at some point. I watch a ton of tv and it has become ubiquitous. It’s not just the few shows mentioned above: True Blood, Boss, Hung, Supernatural, Private Practice, Shameless, Californication, Hawthorne, Lincoln Heights, Undercovers, Single Ladies, A Different World, the Jeffersons, Eureka, Mercy, Friends, Girlfriends, Archer, Battlestar, Nip/Tuck, Scrubs, Psych, Cold Case, Franklin and Bash, both 90210s, Firefly, Ugly Betty, Gossip Girl, and every major soap opera, just to name a handful of past and present that I can think of. I’m sure there are tons more. I don’t think that white America is as accepting of romantic situations with black men and white women so there aren’t as many instances of it on screen. Even still, both types of IR couples have eclipsed instances of black couples

    And it’s the same story in the movies. Listing all of the IR pairings in the movies would be exhausting so I googled it and came up with this:

    While I agree with the author that IR couples are the minority in general, I think that what you see on the screen mirrors the trend in Hollywood with black actors and actresses in their personal life. They seem far more likely to get with a white man or woman than the general population. I think that the black children of today are particularly impacted by what they see in Hollywood/popular representation; and life will start to imitate art. There are only so many Kanye videos featuring skinny white girls that can be put into rotation before this starts to impact preferences and standards.

    I definitely think there is an agenda to make such couplings the norm. There seems to be a racial hierarchy in much of the world with white women and men being on top. Black Americans, and especially black women, have in the past been the least receptive to this world wide socialization of white superiority. I think this is starting to change as I’ve witnessed the youngest generation start to develop a post-racial mindset. With our current trajectory of assimilation, it is quite possible that our norms and standards will be replaced by Western standards that are steeped in white supremacy. Black love could start to be about prevalent as Asian love. We might be trying to find a white mate as much as Asian women.

    This isn’t progress.

  • gary

    Yes they are promoting White men soiling black women and some black women choosing to be a white guys pickaninny on screen.I don’t know if any of these black women have a say in who their leading man will be but I’d like to see more black women with black men on screen,then I would start supporting their work.

  • Jo

    I think what’s going on is that networks are making the effort to diversify their casting but they still want to remain mainstream. A black couple is likely perceived as too much “blackness” therefore decreasing the appeal to mainstream. The reason we tend to see more Black women with White men is probably supported by a hidden fantasy of white male execs who may have be too afraid to explore dating a black woman but have wanted to. I have a lot of white guy friends and the “fantasy” is prevalent.

  • gary

    You have a point,most of my co-wkrs are white,they love their white women and I love my black ones and other women of color.

  • gary

    It seems like to me you got caught up in sucking on the pink finger,but as for your pigmentation it looks like your mom had a black man and it was good to her.Now if you find what I’m saying to you disrespectful, I mean it to be.

  • Tonia

    I am noticing black women with white men on TV. I find that very interesting and like Forest Gump that’s all I’m going to say about that.

  • Chrissy

    I dont know why I got thumbs down….The lady pretty much said where she lived a ‘black’ child was rare. It was so rare she thought it was funny.

    The child might not be fully white but they will probably mate white. Also African Americans are a minority. It was going to happen eventually with assimilation . In other countries that had slaves the ‘browning’ of the race eventually happened. I think the U.S. is about to catch up.

    Read Jess’s comment upthread where she said in her area black on black couples are rare or nonexistent. She did not say white couples were nonexistent. If most white ppl (middle to upper class) in the US had a non white spouse I might agree that white people will also be erased. But usually who and what is considered ‘white’ will change

  • Anthony

    The history of Latin America shows that with either black men/white women or black women/white men, the current hierarchy of race can be maintained. As long as a white mate or partner is seen as inherently better than a black mate or partner, the position of blacks remain unchanged. Judging from the posts at Clutch, black women are just as fascinated with white men as black men are with white women. Personally, I think both black men and women should not allow their self esteem to be affected by the mates others choose. We all need to accept and be at peace with the idea that some people, or even a lot people, do not find us attractive for whatever reason. Now that I am older, I can see that when most people complain about not being able to get men or women, they actually do have options. They just aren’t getting attention from the people they want to notice them.

    When it comes to interracial or specifically black/white dating or marriage, I just want to see the day when black people truly see a white mate as an option, and not an improvement.

  • PiscesStar7 (@PiscesStar7)

    Here! Here!

  • PiscesStar7 (@PiscesStar7)

    Thank you Dawn!

    I recall so many years, when the only time you saw a Black woman on TV, she was either single, single with children, or with a Black man. And, in all cases, she was rarely (if ever) viewed as the “desired” woman.

    I recall the many MTV/VH1 videos, where Black women were rarely used, unless they were the “talent.” To have been the “video dream woman,” as with the Lionel Richie video “Lady,” (forgive me if I mucked up the title) was an almost insurmountable rarity because Black women were considered “commercially unmarketable.”

    So to see Black women now being pursued by many different races of men…even if it is only on TV & film is…

    …simply refreshing

    P.S.: It could just be me…but, doesn’t it seem as if when Black women are viewed in media in IR…don’t the women come across as more relaxed, charming, sans the ABW syndrome?

  • Pingback: Are TV Shows Promoting Interracial Relationships for Black Women? | My Black Networks® -The Latest News from The African Diaspora News

  • Kitty

    Bitter much Gary? And how many white blondes are you lusting after?

  • Kitty

    Actually Gary, a black woman would just have to read your comments to think there must be better for her out there than some angry black boy.

  • PiscesStar7 (@PiscesStar7)


    Dayum! Now you’ve got me thinkin if that pleasure planet on Star Trek (that has green women) has green men

    Off to Star to find out…:D

  • PiscesStar7 (@PiscesStar7)

    by the way…it was nice to watch to the new Star Trek and find Uhura gettin busy and not bein left by the wayside…as in the older ones…

  • nona

    Interesting comment, thanks!

  • nona

    Your comments get more & more questionable with each passing day.

  • Lisa

    Ive dated white guys and I like it. who cares? they also have other types of IR relationships. Before it was white/asian women and black men … maybe its time for blk women to open themselves to the swirl and if your not into it… you wont do it and we wont care.

  • Gifty

    Here in the UK we see black women paired with the white lead co-stars all the time on mainstream TV and many black viewers feel that black couples are under represented as a whole.

    Despite the fact that we have to pay our TV licenses, black brits cannot boast of a weekly all black cast in a soap or reality programme which is a real shame. However we are in a great time to capitalise on the use of the internet and more specifically platforms such as Youtube and other mediums to showcase and celebrate the beauty of our relationships as black men and women.

    However, while we may be seeing an increasing rise of the black woman with the white man coupling on TV, a similar thing has been played out within our own communities: the light skinned woman with the dark skinned man!

    Television is founded on the european yardstick of beauty and from time immemorial we have been pushed the idea that being a dark skinned black female is not always beautiful. Being a dark skinned woman on manstream TV is not alwas viewed positively, she is deemed a trend, ‘black is the new beautiful’.

    Look, in a years time, five years time this same topic will be discussed again and again with another generation feeling that the mainstream powerhouses are not telling our story.

    This is the time for us to galvanise the brains, talent, networks, passion and links of our brightest, bravest and greatest actors, producers, directors, writers etc to have more black owned television networks so that we can have more sitcoms and dramas where we in our fullness can be watched and celebrated.

    Until then we are going to be forced to lament and moan about the ideologies that some puny white executive is scripting out for us to accept. Let us inspire our young ones to invest in moulding their future landscape than in spending a fortune on fashion labels, peruvian hair or getting our nails done. We are the answer we have been waiting for.

  • Ravi

    I know the reference. I’m just pointing out the irony that it isn’t new at all. White guys and black women is as old as imperialism.

  • Alaia Williams (@AlaiaWilliams)

    I don’t mind it and never even really thought about it. I’m an interracial dater and so are most of my friends. For a while, it was funny. Of my closest friends (of all races) none of us were dating someone of the same background. But I’m from L.A….and the people I hang with aren’t ones who’d think twice about dating someone of another race. Come to think of it, even some of my friends NOW who are dating someone of the same race now have dated (or married) someone from a different race at some point or another. As long as these shows don’t feel forced to me, then it doesn’t bother me. If they are trying to fill a quota (token black friend!), I get annoyed. I’d rather watch a show with an all white cast. I watch (and love) Parenthood. But it’s more than just Jasmine on the show – they’ve brought her family in too. So she’s not just a token character thrown in the midst. At least she’s got some people behind her…I can’t recall if they specially talked about black/white issues, but they did show the different families views and conflicts – and also showed what brought them together. The show also takes place in another liberal town – Berkeley. I’m certainly not saying that just because someone is liberal they are down with interracial dating, but its certainly more commonplace and more accepted, etc. I can’t speak for the other shows mentioned in the post – I haven’t seen them yet.

  • Alaia Williams (@AlaiaWilliams)

    Yeah, I think it depends on where you live. A (white) friend and I took a trip to Toronto and every time we turned around there was an interracial couple. Black, White, Latino, Indian, Asian. Put L.A. to shame on the IR front. Haha.

  • Alaia Williams (@AlaiaWilliams)

    Oh and, I guess the other thing that gets me is that while I do think there should be more of ALL races on TV, I sometimes think that black people forget that we are 12% of the US population. And yes, life is different in every town, but here in LA I only see black people every now and then (outside of predominately black areas). I see Latinos everywhere. I work at a really diverse company and I’m still the only black person there right now (there have been others). If anything, if we want our media to be an accurate reflection of the US population, shows would have WAY more Latino characters. Just a thought.

    I watch shows because they are good, not because of the cast’s racial make up. Just happens that some of my favorite shows over time have had mixed casts (Dexter, X-Files, Alias, Scrubs, Grey’s, In Treatment, 30 Rock, The Office, I could go on). I’d rather see a smart show with characters of any mix than a show with poor acting from a cast of one race (whatever that race might be). And I find “black shows” with a token white friend just as obnoxious as “white shows” with a token black friend. I’d rather watch a show like any of the ones I’ve mentioned above than watch most BET content or one of Tyler Perry’s shows just because it’s “black” content. But that’s just me. I personally think it’s great when a black director like Steve McQueen puts out movies like Hunger and Shame. Loved them both. I love that Grey’s started with “colorblind” casting. Blah blah, I could go on.

  • Kemba1284


    You are so right!!

  • Kemba1284

    It will be a sad day in this country when black people cease to exist. The mixed blacks will likely marry white and dilute the little ethnic blood they have. Their children will probably be so light they will deny that they even have any black blood in their veins.

  • Blaque217

    I don’t watch any of the shows mentioned here, and now that I know this is going on, I never will.

    It seems like we have become apathetic to Black issues, and as far as I’m concerned this is a major issue.
    I would totally support a drama or sit-com that featured a traditional African American family because that is what our community needs to see. We need to see a healthy Black family dynamic. We need to see Black two-parent heterosexual households on TV.

    There are too many broken Black families in this country. I know everyone wants somebody to love…I get that. But in my opinion, Black men and women are failing each other. Dating outside our race is not doing anything to repair the brokenness in our community. Nor are shows that features interracial couples.

  • L. Ball

    I think that it’s art imitating life and not some veiled propaganda ploy to encourage black women to date white men. What excites me are multi-dimensional, educated and beautiful black women characters being created and supported by great scripts and major networks – not to mention, Scandal is written and created by a black woman who has shown she is more than capable to write hit shows for all demographics and therefore not relegated to only ‘all-black’ series, like many black writers of the past. I think it’s cool that we are finally becoming mainstream and don’t have to justify ourselves – the characters can be complete people and not just the ‘black’ cast member doing ‘black things.’ I hope we can stop framing such issues and really begin to see the big picture.

  • Janaé

    I don’t understand the issue. Black people worship whites PERIOD. You guys are getting what you all want right? That white meat. Everything blacks do is to get whites to acknowledge them so what’s the problem. Let just ALL breed the black out of ya!
    You SOBS even have a gender war going on to see who can bag the most white men/women. SMMFH. I say quit complaining and accept the bones they throw at ya.
    You know? Because screwing caucasians is gonna end racism and make all our problems disappear right?

    PROUD TO BE BLACK my ass lol

  • ashcan

    If you notice, Jews are doing 99% of the writing of the IR relationships we see in films and on TV, but why, why do they want to encourage Black women to be sex toilets for white men so badly? I am sure that there is a diabolical agenda behind this Jewish passion to get Blacks and whites to mix. Where are their movies that promote Jewish/Arab IR unions? I don’t mind so much IR relationships if the happen naturally, but when a conniving third party furtively tries to *herd* the races together for hidden reasons, I see red flags.
    Warning, there is something evil afoot about the explosion of films that ENDLESSLY promote, Black woman/white man romance. Blacks are not writing this, Jews are.

  • ashcan

    Blacks suffer from Stockholm’s Syndrome, the mental disease that makes you LOVE and TRUST your open enemy UNCONDITIONALLY, and whites KNOW we do, that is the reason why whites are rarely questioned and given the benefit of the doubt in all situations, and allowed to come close to Blacks and do evil and stealthy things to us. We must trade our *inbred* unconditional ‘love and trust’ for whites for CAUTION and SUSPICION of whites, then when they try to run BULLSHYT like IR relationship promotions on us, we can instantly see through it and combat it, promoting IR relationships between Black females and white males, is actually a war tactic used against Blacks.

    Am I paranoid and/or racist? Consider this: Wolves say that sheep are paranoid and racist.

  • londongirl

    Just to add that Jada Pinkett-Smith was also offered the role of Trinity first, yet she turned it down. Imagine!!

  • jamesfrmphilly

    “screwing caucasians is gonna end racism and make all our problems disappear right?”

    that appears to be the dominant theme around these parts….

  • jamesfrmphilly

    @nona : U got questions, i got answers…

  • Anthony

    For what is worth, Jews marry outside of their community at a much higher rate that African Americans. They also marry blacks at a higher rate than other whites. I think it is likely that Jewish writers depicting interracial relationships reflects their own experiences, and not some sort of conspiracy.

  • whit

    Wow! I think it’s fine for TV shows to show interracial dating. It’s just TV to me. If it has a good storyline and good acting I will watch it. I will watch a primetime drama or sitcom when I do sit down and watch tv ( mixed,all black cast or all white; that doesn’t matter); what I don’t watch is a lot of reality tv trash. It can be entertaining at times, but that’s not my preference of TV genre. It degrades some those beautiful women (often of color) who I believe are much more intelligent than what the public sees.
    The networks maybe “pretending to be more contemporary with some secret agenda” but people will do and feel as they please. A white man won’t decide to date black women just b/c it’s on tv. And a black woman won’t decide to date a white man for that same reason either. I’m from Mississippi and faced discrimination/racist behavior from white folks before I was even a teen. But do I think every white man or woman is to perceived as racist? No I do not. Some things aren’t worth debating, we’ll get nowhere with nitpicking EVERYTHING. We should stick to bigger issues; that we KNOW are real. I’m not saying that media bias does not exist; it does, but black women are on tv more. They have more roles; if the actresses don’t complain about the newer roles, why should we? If there’s an issue it will come to the light. THEN we should address it appropriately.

  • Misty_Moonsilver

    There was a time when tv was about black men dating other races. Its just our turn now I guess. No problem with me.

  • Thomas J Brown Jr.

    Today you never see a blackman and blackwoman together in movies on TV and commercial, you always have to put a black woman with a white boy. Make no mistake about it the ignorant blackwoman is being consciously moved into the hands of a Caucasian male. This is a practice that has been going on every since we come to this country as slaves of Caucasians. The reason you see it on TV in the movies Is because they trying to tell a vision of what they want to see come true.

  • TL

    Uh, that would be a definite yes. I love Issa Rae, but if “J” hadn’t chosen “White J”, I’m not sure we’d be looking forward to a network show. Healthy Black relationships are soooo not allowed on mainstream TV.

  • Jinx

    +1 very true.

  • Ravi

    when was that time? I’ve been watching way too much tv since the early 80s. I can’t recall such a time when black men were dating other races and black women were not.

  • jmf

    Oh my goodness, WAAH WAAH people! STOP COMPLAINING. Who cares if black women are paired with WM on TV? I see absolutely NOTHING wrong with it. If it was BM/WW, you would all be whining that the media doesn’t protray BW as desirable.


  • tjtoubeaux

    “TV is fantasy for White people. And that’s why the White guys get all of the ‘attractive’ women.”

    No hon, tv is fantasy for white, hetero males. You know, the male gaze and all that. It doesn’t matter what color the woman is; she will always be attractive, and paired with a less attractive male. This is how it’s always been, and will always be. It’s not like these networks are trying to “fool” black people into engaging in interracial relationships. They’re certainly not trying to entice white people into them. Whites are (statistically) one of the least likely groups to marry outside of their race, and the most resistant to marrying black people. This has all been studies, so what is the fuss about.


  • Perspective

    “Black women with White men is probably supported by a hidden fantasy of white male execs who may have be too afraid to explore dating a black woman but have wanted to. I have a lot of white guy friends and the “fantasy” is prevalent.”

    I really tire of black women who sport big fat GRINS on their face to be the “fantasy” black women who’s good enough to bang behind closed doors – but NOT good enough to bring home THRU THE FRONT DOOR.

    Think about what you are saying. You are actually happy to be some white boy’s hidden desire. The worst part is that I don’t even think it’s about that. It’s it about promoting the idea to black women that white men are an actually option. Sistas will wait and wait for this white night and he never comes. Then you find out that she’s either left with a baby by a white boy or beyond her child baring years with no ring.

    I believe the media does this in combination with the negative propaganda that surrounds black men in order to keep black men and women separated.

    Where are the scores of white men driving to the black community getting off the bus to find themselves a black women good enough to marry and have children by?

    Some of you really think white supremacy is a thing of the past. If you believe in its existence than you have to believe they are trying to maintain it, and you can’t maintain white supremacy without creating white babies. He needs a white woman for that. A black woman can’t give him white babies and the stupid one drop rule only reinforces that.

  • Yolanda

    Scandal will be bringing on a black male, a former lover of Olivia’s. I just think t v is reflecting the realities of the day in showing more I R couples.

  • maria

    Omg why is this an issue?? If there were no black people on TV you’ll be complaining, when they cast black people, you’re still complaining. You just can’t please black Americans! You should be glad that there are even black people on TV or in the movies because you all seem to forget that you’re a minority which makes up less than 15% of the US population, which is why you won’t see many blacks on US TV. If you don’t like it, then stop complaining and produce your own shows where you can show black women as sexual toilets to black men! If the thought of a black woman sleeping with a white man bothers you guys so much then stop watching, and stop complaining. Oh better yet, make your own shows. Ungrateful bastards!

  • Jill

    I have been married IR for 20 years and My step daughter that is Black has a white husband, my IR daughter dates black men and both sons dates white, IR and black girls. I have two white male cousins that are married to black woman, my nephew is married to an asian woman and who cares. The white or black race is not going to die and whats wrong with brown people? I think it is awesome for tv shows, movies and commercials to show that people of all colors marry eachother, its just not a black and white world. I am white and have dated white, my husband is black and has dated black but we just happen to marry eachother. It had nothing to do with money or status, he has a good job, I have a good job because we were just 20 we had nothing, it just wasn’t for improvement. IR children have been around for ever and the white population and black populations is fine and there are plenty of people that don’t want to date outside race and thats ok but I think people on here have to much time on their hands. If tv just put white woman with black men people would have a problem with it now they are putting black woman with white men and they have a problem with it. If you like it or not its life. The children in high school or college now just date they don’t look at color and that is wonderful..some people need to learn from children.

  • maria

    Thank you! lol

  • Jeffrey

    What a ridiculous reply. So black people should be happy if their are just black people on TV. You are saying that it´s normal that there are no black people on TV?

    I am a white male in an interracial relationship, but you are out of your mind. Definitely the dumbest, most ridiculous comment on this website. Why don’t you go back to high school and educate yourself.

  • Jeffrey

    Where I live, in the UK, BW/MW is just as common as AW/WM. Maybe even a little more common.

    But then again American is a very racialized society. Life is much sweeter here in the UK for interracial couples.

  • Paul

    Please date the individual you connect with. That has nothing to do with race. I am more concerned with the double standard where interracial dating is concerned. I have a white white girlfriend (I am a black man) we catch the dirtiest looks you could ever imagine when we venture out. those looks come mainly from two groups, black women and white men. Black women and white men believe it is okay for white guys to date any woman they choose, but black men are supposed to stay in their place…i know, this is a complete plantation mentality, but trust me it is real.

  • Paul

    Maria, really? Come on lady…let’s be civil here, your tone is nasty. Black American are individuals, most of us couldn’t care less who the black women on tv are paired with.

  • Jaelon

    Really, if people want to have any type of race or person that they want to have on their show or movie or anything, they can. People who sit at home that watch and complain can get over the issue because the people who put their work into it gets paid for it so pretty much it dosen’t matter to them who the actors work with on set. Point blank period.

  • BeBe

    GOD! I so hate when people in interracial relationship have to make a point of telling you who their with (black man w/white woman or white man/black woman). It seems to me that you all have more of an issue with your choice then the people around you. The Media has always programmed its viewers. It’s why we complaining about how much crap is actually on TV. As for being glad for being (blacks) on TV. I agree with you since, most shows are written by whites and are crap. Maybe blacks should make their own network and write quality shows.

  • BeBe

    Thank, for posting this comment. It was very real and true. If a balance was actually shown on TV articles like this wouldn’t even come up.

  • BeBe

    LOL! You are F**kin Joking. If anything its the other way around. Have you seen all the plastic surgery that whites go through to look black? You are only special in your own eyes and that of the truly deluded. Thanks for the laugh.

  • Malik

    Who cares about colors, genders of a race gossip? It’s all academics without spirituality…if we focus on who we are as spiritual beings inside of these human bodies, then recognize we all have a greater job to fulfill as self, family, community, nation and world. Right now, we need to be buying these “fixer uppers” in the neighborhoods, pay the property taxes so we can fuel our K-12 schools. At the same time take positions within the local governments and become diplomats to foreign governments so academic services along with cultures can be exchanged. If property taxes are getting paid then neighborhood value goes up (imagine major equity in a home you may have paid 11K for? BANK) and of course morale goes up for all and crime decreases drastically. It’s all about turning nothing into something like the ancestors keep telling us daily with khemistry and geometry. In geometry, you make your points like axioms and graph them with degrees (multi-dimensional meanings with astronomical approach) then make a path from one to the other point. For example, certifications are for making way for your own business so why not get a degree then certify yourself instead of working for somebody else? Now it maybe people who will be working for others as statistics with accountancy shows it but think about the basics…you need real estate, medical and health, food and water..transpose those needs into jobs within the neighborhood and watch out 1900s Tulsa and Helena…along with Africa (and her islands). Welfare goes away quickly and bartering comes back into play as well as free enterprise. Take up positions in the State government and make moves to change human law to set precedence. Most local judges do not even acquire degrees but we are worrying about love in the wrong places…the last time I remember if a beautiful Queen moves then a King sees…I’m from the super country and military so trust me when Malcolm X said “media controls the minds of the masses” people was sleeping and still is. We have a suitable force of spiritual beings able to move tacticful with wise decisions about life and karma is it. All a Queen wants to do is relax on her land, walk onto her land anytime she feels and command with authority while being graceful and sexy. And crowns comes with a heavy price so be prepared for whatever cause we did not create “The Hate U Gave Little Infants Fuck Everybody” that grew up more stranded than ever…the Queens just need to start teaching the children our way but we need to find some culture values first and pointing out leaders (this is what the internet is really for but time is running out…) Kings need to stop the banging and really patrol the neighborhoods (via self through local communities) Our childbirth rate is going up and is the highest amongst all humans so loving must be still going on…other than that it would be a higher rape crime rate along with assault. Kings and Queens need to be teaching real knowledge from a corporate and spiritual dimension…you only get half-ass corporate and cult impregnanted religions so yes we are mixed up to the max mentally to some capacities. Now going back to the homes and all…each and every Queen and King can have a kingdom of their own or together by keeping focus on the tax auctions and how to DIY. When have been the greatest at architecture from the minds to the hands but our pages are fading…our Ancestors had less of what we got now and look what is going on? Now the reason why I am on this page is because I was typing up some poetry to my soulmate I have not seen but only in my dreams and wanted to know if some spiritual beings living in African male bodies had a blog on if they could live without the opposite gender. I was just interested in opinions cause I feel as if I have missed her or maybe I need to hold-on and just master my knowledge and wisdom to feed my neighborhood of which I was born to. I myself feel honored to help Queens make moves even if we split ways; still eye helped her along the way as she helped me…I helped her for me spiritually cause I do not want my heart to be heavy and I do fear coming back inside this human body or another. We all cross paths for a reason so if you can share love and not be selfish about it then do it…cause what goes around keeps coming around like a planet on it’s orbital path. I tell all my homeboys this…whenever I get into a relationship with a Queen and her children (if she has any) I try to love her with all eye got without breaking myself totally…cause one day you’re here and the next day you’re gone. It’s all chess, geometry, khemistry when we are crossing paths so art everyday like it’s your last. We’ve all said some hurtful things but beginning and the end is what really counts as the last memories stained on the brains and minds until the end of time. So I dream then envision when my eyes are open and so, everytime I see a Queen and King out here with these Princes and Princesses then I’m living life to the fullest. The Kings are here but many Queens cannot see us clearly until they have moved on and vice versa but we all help each other make moves so it’s all two the good. Sacrifices and patience is what I have learned over the years…so I love Ebony for the reasons that I get to wash, massage and kiss her feet for the love of it and hands too along the neck and shoulders and back and arms and ankles and big foreheads too! I just like to love her like that cause 9 times out of ten she has not been loved like that….Much love to my Soulmate out here cause I am aching at night and day these times of mine. Hit me up anyone if you want to just network or exchange ideas. Hotep.

  • kj1986nyc

    I dated a mexican girl and I got looked at sideways by white males. not even the mexicans!

  • Jamie

    It’s unfortunately with all that diversity you miss the point. The point isn’t that black women shouldn’t be paired with white men or that white women shouldn’t be paired with black men on TV, but there is a history behind the persistent aversion Hollywood has had to positive black/black pairings. Black people are either invisible on TV and in movies or often not paired together unless it’s a “black” show. I remember when Halle Berry did Oprah’s movie on ABC in which there was a notable love scene (black/black) my otherwise PC predominantly white forum suddenly was ablaze with negative comments about the love scenes varying from finding it gross to others asking if that’s how “black people” really make love and asking why “they” kiss like that.

  • George

    “But when you consider that all of the ‘attractive’ Black women on network TV are dating White men….”

    ….except in reality shows such as Bachelor and Bachelorette of NBC’s summer Love in the Wild!

  • chas0x01

    sometimes i think i may never see a black man with a black woman, in an intimate relationship in the msm. but we all know that in america, the black man has never had his own woman, and the media reminds us of that everyday.

  • Charles Roth

    AND all the attractive white men are also dating and marrying all the attractive white women. “It’s a man’s world”….”It’s a WHITE man’s world.” But the glass ceiling for black women is being broken. And the glass ceiling for black men was broken long ago. We are a diverse nation with a diverse racial and ethnic citizenry. Love and sex (there is a difference) have always entered the picture. God bless both drives. We will become a better country with more diversity and love.

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