I’m not the vengeful, angry, “you don’t exist to me because we didn’t work out” type of ex. But I haven’t been able to be friends with any of my past lovers either.

I won’t hold onto anger, let it fester and turn a bitter breakup into a lifelong grudge. But what remains, after years-long relationships with men, is a weird mix of nostalgia, regret, love and fondness. And that precludes any chance for a platonic friendship to exist.

And I tried…with my ex from high school after we both were grown, out of college and settled in our respective careers. We barely got through two text sessions before we were reminiscing about the good old times and he was telling me I was the best girl he ever dated.

Then, his current girlfriend, which he had conveniently omitted during our conversation, found the messages and dumped him. So much for that friendship.

As for my other exes, I don’t hate them. I can talk about them without bursting into tears or cursing the day they were born. I’m not going to call them to talk about my new relationship, catch up over dinner or hit a movie together though. It’s just too…weird.

Nas and Kelis seem to have gotten past the awkwardness of friendship with an ex, for the benefit of their son, Knight and even grabbed dinner together.

Via The YBF:

Now, Nas tells TMZ, the two are trying to put the past behind them in order to develop a healthy relationship for the benefit of their 3-year-old son Knight — but they are NOT reuniting romantically.

The rapper says they’ve been on good terms for a while now and he hopes it will continue. Nas and Kelis even grabbed dinner last night in L.A. together.

I really wish more past relationships could be this way, especially when raising children. There’s a mutual respect Kelis and Nas share that helped them get past the drama of their failed marriage and public divorce.

But how does a former couple arrive at a peaceful place without the remnants of love and lust getting in the way? What are your thoughts, Clutchettes? Have you managed to be friends with an ex?

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  • Porsha

    I’m actually really good friends with one of my ex’s (of 7 years), we’re both single (at the moment) therefore we hang out, go out for dinner, go to the movies & etc., however since I’ve outgrown my other ex’s I don’t really bother hanging out even though we’re still pretty cordial.