Let me break this down for a lot of the “ladies” that want black men to mentor:
My resources (including my time), is for MY KIDS, not yours!
Even if I have no children, my time is better spent PREPARING and ENSURING the comfort and safety of my future children.
I owe you nothing, and I owe your kids nothing. Why should I invest in something that I can’t control, or even ensure quality, or follow up on?!?!?!?!?
Ladies, you put them legs up, with no thought about the child that may come about, the quality of the sperm coming out of the father to take care of the child, or even the community that will be affected by your choice.
So, what makes you think you, or your child, deserves help, now?
I’m not going to care more about your child and community more than you do.
Irresponsibly bringing a child into the world is an indicator of an inferior parent. So that those inferior genes are not passed on, the child deserves to die, or at least, not produce.
Back in the day, they simply died off, or no one bred with them, now we have prisons, and street violence.
I’m not saying that the men are not responsible, but if a woman, with over a dozen ways to prevent the child from even being conceived, plus the ability to abort after the fact, AND the ability to dump the child off on the state if she doesn’t want it after it is born, WOMEN are more responsible for the existence, and therefore, the welfare of the child.
In short, F— your kids, I have my own problems.
-8
If anyone ever gets a chance, read the book, “All God’s Children: The Bosket Family and the American Tradition of Violence.”
Morality is black-and-white, but real life rarely reflects such a clear dichotomy. Restorative justice (justice that seeks to have perpetrator find some sense of accountability as well as attending to the victims).
Picture this: When a father leaves a a mother and her children, the mother is left with few options. One is working. Working means leaving the child in some one else’s care for that time the mother is working. If the mother has other issues–depression, happens to be homeless and is in a homeless shelter, was abused by her former partner, has other kids by other fathers–this further compounds the issue. The mother is too stressed to fully attend to the child, and there is no father or consistent second caregiver to relieve some of the parental burden. The parent gets called up–first, by school teachers, then case workers, and then police–throughout the years. Temper tantrums become fist fights, small thefts become armed robberies, fondling at school becomes future rape. And if this is a guy, with no positive male role model, he becomes the father he always had but never knew–sexually promiscous with several kids, perhaps on drugs or dealing drugs, and perhaps in and out of jail. If this is a woman, she might begin having kids in her teens. Both inevitably repeat the cycle.
Restorative justice happens when, for example, a boy who is suspended for fondling a girl gets sent to a rape crisis program, so he can understand and has to write an essay before re-entering the school. It happens when, instead of simply sending a man to prison, victim-perpetrator dialogues take place, and willing participants take steps to not do what they did again. I know of one convicted man who engaged with such a dialogue with the mother of the man he killed. After they talked, it was revealed that the man was himself once a victim. Now he has a child, is out of jail and working on staying sober. his child will not have to grow up with an absent father, if his father keeps his promises. Restorative justice does more than provide justice for the victim. It also heals the one who hurt. When they heal, the community heals because that is one less Black man who ends up out of jail and in the same cycle of mischief as before.
+4
It’s so sad to see how many people missed the point of this article. Honestly, as a 26 year old black woman in South Africa, childless by choice, I find mentoring to be very helpful. I grew up in a single parent home, my mom was still married to my dad, but he split, and died in 2006, so for all my life all I knew was my mom. And I was blessed to have an attentive mom, who threw trying to raise 4 kids, work a 9-5 and still educate herself further, we were loved, and she still mentored and took in other kids from bad situations. Those kids today are successful people because they got love, attention and someone to believe in their dreams. My mom always taught me that a child can achieve great things if they have just one person believe in them. At this point I’m mentoring a young girl in Grade 10, from a really poor background, and just seeing her become the best she can be is amazing. She often calls me just to tell me how thankful she is to God that there is someone who believes in her. My point is mentoring is not a way to solve all the problems in the black community, but it is a way for us as black people to give back and give young kids hope. It is our responsibility to help our communities, not just the government or celebrities, both male and female need to help point blank period.
Let me break this down for a lot of the “ladies” that want black men to mentor:
My resources (including my time), is for MY KIDS, not yours!
Even if I have no children, my time is better spent PREPARING and ENSURING the comfort and safety of my future children.
I owe you nothing, and I owe your kids nothing. Why should I invest in something that I can’t control, or even ensure quality, or follow up on?!?!?!?!?
Ladies, you put them legs up, with no thought about the child that may come about, the quality of the sperm coming out of the father to take care of the child, or even the community that will be affected by your choice.
So, what makes you think you, or your child, deserves help, now?
I’m not going to care more about your child and community more than you do.
Irresponsibly bringing a child into the world is an indicator of an inferior parent. So that those inferior genes are not passed on, the child deserves to die, or at least, not produce.
Back in the day, they simply died off, or no one bred with them, now we have prisons, and street violence.
I’m not saying that the men are not responsible, but if a woman, with over a dozen ways to prevent the child from even being conceived, plus the ability to abort after the fact, AND the ability to dump the child off on the state if she doesn’t want it after it is born, WOMEN are more responsible for the existence, and therefore, the welfare of the child.
In short, F— your kids, I have my own problems.
If anyone ever gets a chance, read the book, “All God’s Children: The Bosket Family and the American Tradition of Violence.”
Morality is black-and-white, but real life rarely reflects such a clear dichotomy. Restorative justice (justice that seeks to have perpetrator find some sense of accountability as well as attending to the victims).
Picture this: When a father leaves a a mother and her children, the mother is left with few options. One is working. Working means leaving the child in some one else’s care for that time the mother is working. If the mother has other issues–depression, happens to be homeless and is in a homeless shelter, was abused by her former partner, has other kids by other fathers–this further compounds the issue. The mother is too stressed to fully attend to the child, and there is no father or consistent second caregiver to relieve some of the parental burden. The parent gets called up–first, by school teachers, then case workers, and then police–throughout the years. Temper tantrums become fist fights, small thefts become armed robberies, fondling at school becomes future rape. And if this is a guy, with no positive male role model, he becomes the father he always had but never knew–sexually promiscous with several kids, perhaps on drugs or dealing drugs, and perhaps in and out of jail. If this is a woman, she might begin having kids in her teens. Both inevitably repeat the cycle.
Restorative justice happens when, for example, a boy who is suspended for fondling a girl gets sent to a rape crisis program, so he can understand and has to write an essay before re-entering the school. It happens when, instead of simply sending a man to prison, victim-perpetrator dialogues take place, and willing participants take steps to not do what they did again. I know of one convicted man who engaged with such a dialogue with the mother of the man he killed. After they talked, it was revealed that the man was himself once a victim. Now he has a child, is out of jail and working on staying sober. his child will not have to grow up with an absent father, if his father keeps his promises. Restorative justice does more than provide justice for the victim. It also heals the one who hurt. When they heal, the community heals because that is one less Black man who ends up out of jail and in the same cycle of mischief as before.
It’s so sad to see how many people missed the point of this article. Honestly, as a 26 year old black woman in South Africa, childless by choice, I find mentoring to be very helpful. I grew up in a single parent home, my mom was still married to my dad, but he split, and died in 2006, so for all my life all I knew was my mom. And I was blessed to have an attentive mom, who threw trying to raise 4 kids, work a 9-5 and still educate herself further, we were loved, and she still mentored and took in other kids from bad situations. Those kids today are successful people because they got love, attention and someone to believe in their dreams. My mom always taught me that a child can achieve great things if they have just one person believe in them. At this point I’m mentoring a young girl in Grade 10, from a really poor background, and just seeing her become the best she can be is amazing. She often calls me just to tell me how thankful she is to God that there is someone who believes in her. My point is mentoring is not a way to solve all the problems in the black community, but it is a way for us as black people to give back and give young kids hope. It is our responsibility to help our communities, not just the government or celebrities, both male and female need to help point blank period.