Is it really that complicated? Really? We’ve all seen that ambiguous relationship status “It’s Complicated” on Facebook, but what does it really mean? Typically, the implication is that “It’s Mysterious” or “It’s Sordid” or “Wouldn’t you like to know.” I call shenanigans. All “It’s Complicated” means is that you’re either in a relationship all by yourself in which your “significant other” doesn’t acknowledge you or that you’re involved with someone who does not have a Facebook account and would like to leave your options open.

Let’s talk about the former. There is nothing complicated about being a jump-off or longing for someone who is simply not invested in you. There is nothing complicated (status wise) about being in a committed relationship. Either you and your significant other have agreed not to sleep with other people, or you haven’t. It really is that simple.

As for the later, Facebook is not Match. It’s not even MySpace. Yet, there will always be those creepazoid freakazoids looking for some strange, even if it means harassing the friends, family, and possibly colleagues of the girl who sat in front of you in second grade by sending random messages and friend requests. If you happen to “meet” someone on Facebook (and by meet I really mean add to your friend list), it should be an artifact of genuine and spontaneous interaction and not the result of you combing other people’s friend lists looking for trim.

All romantic relationships are complicated in themselves. There are issues of trust, fidelity, and a double dose of life’s problems. Let’s be clear: that is not what we’re talking about here. We are talking about the status of your relationship. If all you can say about your current relationship status is that “It’s Complicated,”then you probably aren’t in a relationship. Or you won’t be for long.

  • Patience

    “It’s complicated” is a ploy for attention.

  • Yb

    I’ve never had a MySpace, Facebook, or Twitter. Is there really a deep social media culture involved with the three? Is determining what to post, how to define your relationship status real this premeditated calculated decision?

    Idk social networking seems stressful from all the stories I’ve heard.

  • Overseas_Honeybee

    I keep my relationship status private online and off. Once you open the door (hell … even crack it) to your personal life … best believe folks are going to see it as an invite to start asking questions.

  • http://gravatar.com/lovegiraffes onegirl

    I have always been single on facebook, and I will continue to be until I’m married. I asked my bf what he had on FB, and he said ‘In a relationship with Onegirl.’ I laughed and said ‘Oh, I have single.’ That was the end of the conversation. I guess he’s into me. ha!

  • African Mami

    It just means its over! But either both parties, or one is in denial of the truth.

  • Patience

    That is exactly what some people want, to be asked questions.

  • Blue

    One upon a time, I had that as my relationship status. But then I thought it’s either you’re in a relationship or you’re not, so how is it “complicated”. So I changed it to blank & that’s how it will remain until I marry. I don’t need everyone commenting on any of my relationship status changes.

  • JN

    I actually know people who use the “It’s Complicated” status to get attention from the one with whom it is complicated, and because they are one of those people who don’t mind airing their dirty laundry on Facebook.

  • http://saidahali.tumblr.com Saidah Ali

    My relationship IS complicated; I’m contemplating divorce from a man whom I love, but am not “in love” with. We are still married, but we sleep separately. We run a household together, but I will likely move out by the end of the month. Is that not “complicated?” We aren’t really married, we aren’t divorced, we aren’t really separated, we aren’t dating… it’s just complicated.

    Life is complicated. Labeling it as such can be appropriate.

    Now, an analysis of facebook status updates? That’s questionable..

  • Jamia

    Dito! My ish is complicated…we live together bc we were engaged….but now were not engaged but still live together. We’re are in a relationship, but its not commited. We love eachother but were not in love. The shit is complicated. I could give a hell about the questions concerns or opinions on about it. Its my fb page.
    And like home girl said…analyzing fb profile status’ is very questionable.

  • camille

    Saidah, you are in a relationship. Jamia, you are not. Not complicated at all

  • Some Dude

    Yeah, sometimes things really are complicated. And notice how you said it’s not complicated if you are in a ‘committed’ relationship, but even then it could be complicated. Y do you wanna make it seem as if every body’s life is sooo simple? It’s complicated because it doesn’t completely fit in one box. But thanks you guys reminded me to change mine from complicated to single.

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  • http://Operamini Lisa hamza

    Lisa. My relationship is too complicated.i was in love before bt nw nt inlove again bt we do nt break up wen i said i nid a break up.bcuz he still hav feelings for me.

  • http://Operamini Lisa hamza

    Am in luv with a guy called lexix.bt we ar 4rm different state,language,religion.nd still i luv him i cnt leave him bt my parent are insisting me to depart from him

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