We’ve all seen Mimi Faust on Love & Hip Hop Atlanta deal with Stevie J, with the constant back and forth, dishonesty and cheating. The thing is, she’s been dealing with him for fifteen years. Now that they have a child together, she’s still trying to make their relationship work. I don’t fault her for trying, but, there comes a point in a person’s life, when they should realize that people will only treat you the way you allow them to.
I’ve self-diagnosed myself as having Mimi Syndrome and it’s a mentally draining situation to be in. Even till this day, I find myself rationalizing why I keep certain people in my life. I catch myself all the time saying, the devil I know, is better than the angel I didn’t.
Mimi Syndrome isn’t about black men and black women relationships. It’s about human relationships, regardless of skin color. As a woman who has dated interracially since I was 15, I can say that the mess men and women put each other through is universal. Shitty relationships sees no color.
Why do people return to bad relationships? According to Carla Rhodes, Phd., “They’re predictable and they know what they’re getting regardless of how bad it is. Rather than risking getting something worse. There is a comfortability factor, because they already know what to expect, and you don’t have to put yourself out there to meet anyone else and be vulnerable. In order to leave these relationships you need to make a clean break. No contact, leave no openings.”
Unfortunately, making a clean break is sometimes easier said than done, especially when there are ties. Children, mutual property, pets and business ties are all things that can add to the drama of leaving a revolving door relationship. Even when superficial ties are severed, the emotional ties and/or familial ties will still remain.
Sometimes I wish there was a 12 step program for us sufferers of Mimi Syndrome or maybe some good old shock therapy. Every time I go to pick up the phone and dial my version of Stevie J, *buzz*, a nice good electric current to knock me out of my moment of insanity. On so many levels I sympathize with Mimi, but hopefully, Mimi and those like her (myself included) will one day get tired enough and shut the Stevie J’s out forever.